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Part 1 of The Hooded Sagas
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2021-03-25
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2024-01-19
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16/?
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Rebooted

Chapter 8: RElocate

Chapter Text

A/N: So the polls for the new Special coming out in the future are closed and it ended in a tie. My muse basically got the tiebreaker vote so the Special 4 of Variables and Constants will be the Anti-Void Special. However I am willing to do the Darkness Within Special afterwards as it got it’s own fair share of support. I most likely won’t see you all by the end of the year with the next update so just in case I wish you all a happy holiday and a happy New Year.

Starring: Caleb, Aki, Cathy, Levia, Emilia Leblanc, Cassiopeia, Captain Tenari, San, Mumblesprites, Lulu, Tristana, Conflation Caleb, and Conflation Sona

Cameos and mentions: Metto and Layka, DAHN, Samira, and Teemo

XxxX

Looking over some recent incident reports while eating a cone of Rocky Road, Caleb starts to feel a fit of boredom coming along. Despite wanting peace, the Hooded also doesn’t mind some action and so he leans back in his chair before calling in the Slepinirs for a meeting.

“So guys, do we have any news from Ionia after the Empyrean incident? I’m sure that either some azakana or Navori Brotherhood people might try to take advantage of the ruin it left?” Caleb asks while trying to hide any potential excitement. Looking amongst themselves, the Sleipnirs can only really shrug before Aki pulls out his reports.

“Sorry Hooded but Ionia is as calm as can be right now. Between Ahri, Yone, and the Kinkou handling the demons. Akali is free to handle any Navori agents since she recently went rogue.” Mumbles Aki while twiddling his index fingers in humiliation; especially since his vow of not using his Shadow abilities was shattered in the face of reality recently by Sett. Sensing his friend's feelings surrounding the issues surrounding his home, Caleb quickly moves on as Cathy reveals her report regarding the Shuriman Conflict.

“Anything new to report Cathy? I’m sure that either the Ascended or Voidborne might be trying something? Is Bel’veth a thing yet?” Caleb questions with a smile at the gynoid. Standing at attention, the Cyber Pilot has been feeling good recently; between her recent performances and the fact Aki had his selfish point of view broken like his arms, ribs, spine and jaw.

“It would seem that the conflict has reached a sort of stalemate and is staying contained to the southern continent. As for the Voidbornes between Kassadin, Jax, Kai’sa, Malphite, Aterus, and many others it seems to be contained for now as well.” Cathy informs the Hooded before the Sleipnirs dismiss themselves having shared everything they could. Waiting for everyone else to leave, Caleb first checks for any possible Koblinoids before he starts to tap his foot on the ground; something which eventually grinds on Levia’s nerves.

‘Caleb what’s up? You know I love some carnage as well but it seems that the Sleipnir’s reports have you, I wanna say shook?’ Levia inquiries while laying herself on top of the Hooded’s head. Leaning over his hood, the ethereal serpent locks eyes with her host before he holds out his hand for her to move onto.

“I suppose I’m feeling a bit emasculated, I guess. I mean between Atreus defeating Aatrox, Yone’s handling of the minor demons, and even me sharing the Style fighting style with Samira I’m feeling a bit lost. It’s brought down my mood a bit and I just need a confidence booster so I can feel like I’m needed.” Caleb sighs out before slumping onto his desk; the weight of his pettiness catching up to him. Pulling out his communicator, the Hooded starts to look through his messages when he finds a reminder to meet Leblanc today.

CRSN

Teleporting to outside an old wooden shack on the coast of Noxus, Caleb steps inside of the rotting structure. Amidst the dusty spartan accommodations is Leblanc sitting with two goblets of wine at an old wooden table. Gently closing the brittle door behind him, the Hooded takes a seat across from the Matron of the Black Rose and pulls one of the goblets near him; upon doing this he notices Leblanc visibly relaxes afterwards.

“So the rumors of a new Hooded are true. Tell me, how powerful would you say you are? Is it enough for the task ahead?” She asks the young man before her; all while trying to hide her anxiety. This will be the seventh Hooded she will be working with and of those six before them only half could handle Mordekaiser by her estimations.

“I won’t lie when I tell you not right now. {Oh no!} But I will grow more powerful with time. {Woohoo!} But that is gonna take at least a few more years. {Eh~…}” Caleb informs the sorceress while also trying not to laugh at her interjections. While he knows the illusionist can be cold and cruel, being around the Hooded tends to have an opposite effect on Emilia.

“That is something to consider. Enough small talk, I also had a mission to request of you. A small favor if you would. It has been a while since we’ve heard from our member Cassiopeia and I’d like to see if you could bring her back here.” Leblanc requests of the Hooded to which he accepts. Telling him that he should be able to find her at the Shuriman coastal city of Uzeris and to wait until night, Leblanc then watches as he teleports away.

CRSN

Arriving amongst various sandstone houses, Caleb takes to the rooftops after finding a street vendor selling arayes. An hour later a Noxian warship docks into the local port and Samira steps off with a small battalion of Noxian soldiers. Receiving notice of a local snake monster from her trusted contact Captain Indari, the daredevil hopes to claim it’s bounty. Unbeknownst to any party however is that this is a test that a bored Leblanc has set up to observe them. Eventually night comes and not a cloud appears in the sky to interrupt this midnight hunt. While Caleb sticks to the rooftops to look for the gorgon, Samira disperses her troops around the city and armed each with a signal flare stolen from Piltover; should they see the creature they can signal it’s location to the others.

Over at the edge of the city at a granite cathedral, Cassiopeia emerges from her family’s tomb. Knowing that tonight should be the start of the troops’ rotation, the middle Du Couteau sibling slithers her way onto the city rooftops to stalk soldiers from above. Eventually she comes across what seems to be a Noxian soldier harassing a local woman; or it would if she wasn’t multilingual. Holding back a giggle, the gorgon takes a moment to enjoy the pair’s poor acting and luring skills. Her show is soon interrupted however as a shadow descends from across the street and slams the Noxian into a wall.

“Dude if someone says no it means no. Wait where are you going?! Why would she just run off like that, seriously a thank would’ve been nice. Though to be fair I never learned how to speak Shuriman.” Caleb mumbles to himself as he finishes hanging the unconscious Noxian upside down. Before he can beat him like a piece of hanging meat however the Hooded instead releases him when he hears a scraping sound nearby.

“Well what do I have here? I’ve never seen a specimen like you before, would you be so kind as to come closer?” Cassiopeia whispers out from the nearby shadows with her sultry voice. Unable to read the stranger’s face due to his coverings, she is unable to see Caleb’s look of utter confusion as to how such tactics work on others.

“Okay, tall, dark, and scaly you can come out. Especially since I already know all about you and how you work Cassiopeia. Leblanc told me that she wants you to come back to Noxus. Could you make this easy on the both of us please?” Caleb asks the serpent woman since he doesn’t want to waste too much time. In the blink of an eye, Cassioepeia quickly wraps her massive tail around him and starts to constrict the Hooded.

“I’ll have to say no. Besides, what was your plan exactly if I refused? Were you going to drag me away those scrawny arms of yours’? Oh my you’re starting to squirm a bit aren’t you? If you’d like I can squeeze you a bit gentler, but only if you tell me your plan. Now look me in the eyes and don’t lie to me.” The seductress asks of her prey before giggling at her own taunting. Her laughter almost turns into cackling before she hears the stranger say “Harder.” and Cassiopeia becomes a bit disturbed.

“Don’t stop now. Constrict my body, you alluring anaconda. Rattle me to the core you sexy snake. Flick your tongue all over me you dazzling diamondback. Be my queen you kinky king cobra. Poison me with your affection, you blessed black mamba.” Are the type of lines Caleb starts to spout at the confused monster woman. Using this distraction, Caleb takes a breath and goes Spectral to escape just as the Noxian he captured activates a flare.

It doesn't take long after before the pair find themselves surrounded by over twenty soldiers armed with pikes. Attempting to rush past the soldiers, Cassiopeia finds her path blocked by a dozen gunshots as Samira makes her entrance. Reloading her revolvers, the Desert Rose takes in the sight of the gorgon coiling up and a Hooded figure grappling away. Seeing a glimmer in the noble woman’s eyes, Samira’s instincts save her as she manages to look away in time to avoid Cassiopeia’s Petrifying Gaze. By the time the flash is over a quarter of the Noxian force is turned to stone before another quarter is batted away by Cass’ tail. Blowing a stream of Miasma to her right and spitting several globules of Noxious Blast to her left, the snake woman disables the last of Samira’s troops with ease. She then throws one of the petrified soldier’s statue at the one eyed daredevil who barely manages to cut it apart. Before the massive hybrid can throw another soldier, Samira manages to land a shot on her target before rushing her. Wanting to keep her distance from the Desert Rose, Cassiopeia spews forth another Miasma that both slows down and saps away Samira’s strength. Grinning at her grounded foe, the Serpent’s Embrace soon finds her triumph interrupted when Caleb jumps onto her back and slaps her in the eyes. With tears in her eyes, Cassiopeia starts to flail about in agony and Samira emerges from the Miasma relatively unharmed. Taking her chance, the daredevil tries to cut down the noble woman but finds her blade blocked by the Hooded. The flailing giantess then decides to flee instead of continuing this folly and claws her way towards the rooftops once more. Using a Coercion line to stick to the snake woman, Caleb soon finds an unwanted passenger in the form of Samira latching onto his leg. Arriving on top of the nearby bar, Cassiopeia keeps yanking the tether Caleb created and draws his attention away from the one eyed woman who kicks him in the face soon after. Releasing the magical hybrid, the Hooded instead uses his former handlebar to grab Samira and hold her as Cassiopeia escapes. With neither party willing to give up the chase however all three champions soon find themselves traversing the city in their own ways; Cassiopeia slithering from roof to roof, Samira parkouring, and Caleb swinging via Coercion lines. All through the night each party interferes with the other’s goals as they wake up various people to the sounds of gunshots, swords and claws clashing, and even a few explosions at various points.

Eventually the night-long chase ends as all three champions arrive back at Cassiopeia’s “den” inside of the Du Couteau mausoleum. Surrounding herself with the statues of her past victims, the gorgon has also allowed a large amount of sand inside to impede non-slither based movement. Blasting open the wooden front doors, Samira finds her steps slowed to a trudge while Caleb and Cassiopeia enter via the roof in Spectral form. Throwing the Hooded off herself, the snake mage launches her Twin Fangs after the Desert Rose who manages to deflect them with her Blade Whirl. Taking advantage of them distracting each other, Caleb attaches a Coercion line between the two women and slams them together. This turns the situation in the noble woman’s favor as she uses her superior size to start drowning Samira in sand. Desperately pulling her sword Vanquish out, Samira pulls the trigger and uses it’s emergency shot to hit Cass in the neck. Pulling herself away from the one eyed woman as much as she can, the serpent woman is only spared from decapitation when the Hooded flings himself at Samira and punches her in the face. Showing her appreciation via tail swiping her savior into the statue of a local priest, the magic in Cassiopeia’s beings to mend her wounds. Seeing this Samira unleashes a Flair of bullets at her bounty, who despite her increased durability, screams in agony from the wounds to her shoulder, stomach and tail. Using her powerful tail, the gorgon both throws sand into the Shuriman’s one good eye and starts to constrict her. As Samira’s struggling starts to slow down, Cassiopeia feels a statue slam into the back of her head. Recovering enough to turn and see the now armored Hooded rushing towards her on all fours, Cass can’t stop the ensuing Betwixt Beatdown. Roaring at the barely conscious proto-ascended, the berserk Caleb isn’t prepared for her to spit acid at his chest in desperation. Using the pain and anger developed from the burning he is feeling, the Hooded picks up Cassiopeia and throws her through a nearby pillar. Cleaning out her vision, Samira is greeted by the sight of another monster and unloads her pistols at it’s weakened chest. Drawing some of his blood, a scream of pain is all the warning Samira gets before he slaps her across the face. Picking up the mercenary and slamming her down, Caleb fails to notice the makeshift sticky bomb she placed on his back. Turning to retrieve Cassiopeia, the unconscious daredevil’s last plan works as the Hooded is saved by the armor but is still inflicted great pain. Forced out of his armored form, the Coalition champion collapses in agony before passing out as well.

CRSN

Snapping awake an hour later, Caleb wakes up to see both women still incapacitated as the sun comes up. Staggering to his feet, the burned and tattered looking man approaches the mostly regenerated Cassiopeia cautiously. Inspecting her for a bit, the Hooded is confident when she doesn’t stir and takes it as a sign to hurry. Before he grabs the mutated noblewoman though, Caleb goes and checks on Samira. Ensuring that she is still breathing, the injured man takes her outside and gently puts her out in the open by the entrance. With the tattooed woman now in the open for any of her troops to rescue her, Caleb returns to Noxus with Cassiopeia in tow.

CRSN

Arriving back at the old shack, the Hooded is greeted by both Leblanc and Captain Tenari. Recognizing how much of a sight for eyes he is, Caleb wills his burned and shredded attire to restore itself. Noticing Leblanc tapping near her eyes, the sore man realizes his goggles are still damaged; one lens is cracked and the other is completely gone. Thankful that they can’t see his tired eyes due to his aura, the Hooded watches as Leblanc wraps Cassiopeia in illusionary chains before thanking him and leaving.

“We were able to watch the entire fight from here. Thank you for keeping Samira alive; but if she is permanently injured then you will have hell to pay from me. Got it!” The stern paraplegic woman tells the Hooded while staring him down. Even exhausted Caleb can’t help but see that famous Noxian fiery spirit and admire it.

“You’ll find no issues or arguments from me on that ma’am. Despite us having our differences I can’t deny that she definitely has some style. Reminds me of my sister a bit, being a badass despite being completely human. Plus from you I can tell she’s at least loyal enough to not leave people behind if she can.” Caleb adds while discussing his newfound respect for Samira. Leaving Captain Indari with a thumbs up, the Hooded returns home and calls San to give him aid.

CRSN

“Oh boi, you’ve been put through the wringer haven’t you? I’m seeing acid burns, explosive burns, bruises, gun shot wounds, venom in your system, fractured ribs, a broken nose, and now they’re gone. You’re welcome.” San informs the Hooded while she finishes tending to his wounds after the last half hour. Giving him a glass of water and telling him to drink plenty of fluids, the hemomancer prepares to go back home but is stopped by Caleb.

“San, I need to see that map you have. The one that has the entrances to the Glade on it, I think it’s time Lulu was able to go home.” Is all Caleb needs to tell the healer and she understands. Knowing how protective he is about the children despite them being champions, San quickly returns with a map made of Bandlewood bark.

Taking a day to recover after his skirmish in Shurima, Caleb prepares to go to the Glade by stopping by the Multiversal Mirror Room. Donning a pink trench coat with black spots decorating the back, the Hooded struggles to keep the floppy dog ears attached to his detective fedora out of his eyes. Looking at himself in the Mirror he hopes that the somewhat goofy outfit will protect him in the Glade. Otherwise his hair turning pink, the short tail appearing at the base of his spine, and his now dog themed, padded gloves and shoes will be for not. Sending a surge of Pumpkin Energy up the fake dog ears, Caleb manages to fix them and keep them standing up with a bend midway; with his attire complete, the Hooded teleports to Bandle City.

CRSN

Arriving by Norra and Yuumi’s house, Caleb creates a Coercion line and ties it to the missing yordle’s front door. With the last of his safety precautions in place, the Hooded marches into the nearby woods without a thought in mind and arrives in the Glade. Grateful for his goggles due to the abundance of bright colors swimming around him. Knowing how time and space can be distorted in this place, Caleb takes the chance to check his Coercion line. Finding it holding firm he continues walking and soon finds the trees starting to dance with faeries appearing. After what feels like an hour of walking he finds himself upside down on a cliff made of yellow obsidian. Taking a break to watch a nearby crab rave taking place on a cloud, Caleb thinks carefully about any details Lulu might have mentioned about her time in the Glade. Letting his mind become clear once more, the Hooded jumps and plummets until he lands in a new part of the Glade.

Here the sky is a dark purple as mist makes it hard to see too far amidst the bare, purple trees. Finding the twisty branches of the trees are pointing at each other’s face, Caleb knows he’s getting closer to the child yordle. Hearing some whispers below him, the Hooded makes the mistake of looking some local tulips in the eyes. Now being pelted by them literally blowing raspberries at him, he takes cover behind a log to avoid the fruity onslaught and further eye contact. It is here that he notices the approaching sound of snoozing. The culprit turns out to be a blonde yordle mage that is flying by with faerie wings. It’s not until he notices the furry amethyst imp creatures appearing near him that Caleb realizes who this is, Trevor Snoozebottom.

“We’re free!” “Hehehe!” “Stupid yordle.” Are among the various chants the mischievous mumblesprites squeal out. Noticing the bright pink Hooded shortly after, Caleb quickly takes a page from his Courageous self’s book and runs away screaming.

Quickly pursuing the fleeing Hooded, it doesn’t take long before the horde of familiars catch up and start biting at him. Their attempts at nibbling him to pieces are foiled however as Caleb uses his Spectral form to have them pass through him. Eventually their efforts are rewarded as after several minutes of this the Hooded is forced to take a breath and loses his defensive form. Desperately shooting a Pumpkin Beam at the cretins, he is unable to land a solid hit as they prove too erratic. Soon Caleb is swarmed by the creatures and is forced to his knees by their plentiful bites. Letting out a pained yell, the Hooded briefly goes into Spectral Form once more and telefrags dozens of the creatures by rematerializing his arms around them. Feeling his arms going numb, Caleb sends a surge of Pumpkin Energy to disintegrate the cretins and goes fully Spectral to realize himself of their ashes. Needing an escape the Hooded makes a break for a nearby cliff and jumps off. The rules of the Glade however have other ideas instead and send him flying forward until he lands in a pond made of purple juices. Sinking beneath the surface, Caleb watches as the swarm flies past him before reemerging and collapsing with a hoarse laughter.

“I am so glad that I didn’t have to deal with tooth fairy knuckleheads last time I came here. Well Levia it seems that we’ve found a well of purple which means Lulu has to be close.” Caleb remarks before hefting himself up to continue his searching. While doing this he eventually remembers to check on his lifeline and finds that the Hood beneath his waist has completely unraveled.

Knowing he needs to hurry or be forced to restart his search lest he become subject to the Glade’s properties, Caleb eventually finds a strange scene. What appear to be several humanoid eggplants are relaxing in various pools of the purple liquid he fell into earlier. Approaching the creatures, the Hooded steps into a puddle and is sucked into it. Falling through a tube for what feels like an hour, Caleb is eventually spat out in a cave hidden behind an orange waterfall. Collecting himself, the Coalitionist looks up and sees what appears to be a massive octopus-whale hybrid sleeping. Trying to sneak away as quickly and quietly as he can, the Hooded is actually swept in closer when the beast turns in it’s sleep. Now wrapped up in the creature’s many arms, Caleb prepares to go Spectral once more but stops when he hears giant footsteps approaching. The stomping eventually comes to a stop and soon after a massive purple hand reaches inside the cave. Pulling out the sleeping Kracktopus and the entangled Caleb is a Wild Growth empowered Lulu with Pix.

CRSN

“Kracktopus you’ve gotta wake up silly. I heard from the tulips that a new friend has come to the Glade and you can’t meet them if you’re sleeping. Oh what’s that Pix? Oh my, hello there new friend! Uh oh, it looks like you’re in quite the bind. Hmm… oh, I’ve got it! Adoribus!” The gigantic Lulu shouts before the Hooded stranger starts to shrink. Putting Kracktopus down in the nearby basin, the yordle makes herself smaller before picking up her squirrely new friend and leaving.

Deciding to head towards the Squirrelly Grove to introduce the new mammal in town, Lulu puts him inside of her satchel and also notices she doesn’t have any snacks. Feeling her tummy rumbling, the yordle girl pulls out her trusty doodad, which appears currently as a forty sided die, before tickling it to teleport away. Arriving at the Tasty Faefolks’ pools, the sorceress pulls out a gourd and fills it with their tasty purple contents. Quickly saying hi and bye, Lulu then does a handstand before tumbling into a field of giant vegetables. Picking out a twenty foot tall parsnip, the Fae Sorceress shrinks it down to a more edible size before pulling her hat down over her eyes. By the time she finishes spinning after that Lulu is dizzy and finds herself in the Squirrelly Grove.

With the sun shining overhead just like in the prime realm, tall oaks to climb, and plenty of other squirrels to play with, Lulu lets loose her new friend and throws out a handful of acorns. Watching him become surrounded by eager and hungry squirrels, the Fae Sorceress decides to walk off when she suddenly trips. Taking a moment to realize it wasn’t intentional, the yordle looks down at her foot and sees a pink string. Deciding to tug on it to see where it leads, Lulu is surprised to see that she has yanked the newest squirrel away from the dozens of others in the group. Putting down her dazed buddy, the child mage sits down to eat her lunch while Pix flies off to the nearby lake of lilies. Looking closer at the transformed stranger Lulu considers changing him back when her best friend flies back to her.

“What’s wrong Pix? Mumblesprites are attacking the faerie babies! Well lead the way.” A shocked Lulu tells her faerie companion before they zippy away. Following them as quickly as his little legs can carry him is Caleb who despite his current situation still feels the need to protect the yordle child.

Arriving to what looks like a miniature dogfight between faerie parents and their impish counterparts, Lulu starts firing Glitterlances to attract the vicious creatures’ attention. With her goal accomplished, the Fae Sorceress quickly flees back to the meadow to draw the dream projections away from the infant faeries. Along the way though she trips and scrapes her knee. Looking down she sees the same pink string from earlier before the squirrel it’s attached to leaps into the air and tackles a mumblesprite. Slapping the familiar silly with his little paws, the brave little rodent quickly puts himself between the approaching swarm and Lulu. Realizing her little hero needs help, the Fae Sorceress unleashes her Wild Growth spell on the purple critter.

‘Well I didn’t expect this to be the way I died. Ziz is going to be pissed. Ouch! Who hit my head and why am I so tall.’ Caleb thinks to himself as he feels a warm breeze surround him and knocks up the surrounding impish cretins. Looking around him, the Hooded sees that some of the local squirrels have gathered to admire their now swole comrade.

“Sorry I had to change you again before turning your back to normal. Okay you muscular munchkin, I need you to show these baddies what for!” Lulu tells her new mount after climbing onto his back. Noticing his fist starting to glow, the champions quickly realize that the Hooded can use abilities in this new form.

Taking advantage of this, and the fact Lulu’s Wild Growth is slowing down the mumblesprite significantly, Caleb charges up his Pumpkin Beam. Seeing him posing for some reason, Lulu and Pix decide to show their new friend what to do by firing a couple of Glitterlances. Accidentally combining their Glitterlances and Pumpkin Beam, the three amigos unleash a destructive wave that completely vaporizes the impish menaces. Witnessing their success, Lulu jumps for joy but ends up tumbling off Caleb’s back only to be caught by her foot. Still smiling, the yordle child undoes his squirrely transformation but ends up being taken higher into the air as her “Tremendo” spell has yet to run out.

“Oops, looks like my spell hasn’t ended yet. Just one moment, Transmogulate! There we are, everyone is back to their proper heights, I think. Thank you for your help mister. You were the bravest squirrel and a fun play mate. Maybe we could keep playing together? I mean if you don’t mind being around someone like me.” The Fae Sorceress uncharacteristically nervously asks Caleb. Taking note of the Hood’s condition, that being only the hood and left sleeve remain, the older sibling takes a seat by a nearby oak and invites Lulu next to him.

“Lulu I would love to be friends with you but I also can’t stay here in the Glade. {But why not?} Because I have other friends waiting for me to go home. {We’re friends too aren’t we?} Yes we are; which is why you should take a break from the Glade too. Trust me when I say that plenty of people will want to be your friend too, all you have to do is be brave enough to take a chance.” Caleb tells the yordle girl in an attempt to convince her to leave. While he is doing this the Hood is preparing to pull him back to Bandle.

“But everyone back home always thought I was too much of a weirdo. Pix was my first real friend and everyone else here has been so nice to me. I still feel a little sad whenever I think about home though, why is that mister?” Lulu asks her new friend while feeling a little teary eyes. Pulling her a bit closer to his side, Caleb takes off her hat and gives her a few head pats.

“I know how you feel, you’re feeling a bit homesick aren’t you? That’s also why I need to go too because otherwise I won’t be able to see my friends, sister, or everyone else I know. But you wanna know a secret? No matter how far away we get from those we care about, they're always with us. Also you’re not a weirdo Lulu, you’re quirky and I like people like that. All my friends are like that too and I don’t mind it because the world is too serious anyways. I have to go now but I won’t forget our time here. See you later Lulu.” Caleb tells the five year old before putting her hand back on her head. Watching over her as the exhaustion of today takes her, the Hooded pulls her hand down over her sleeping face before pulling himself back to Bandle City.

CRSN

Following a report about a tall figure appearing near Norra’s abandoned house, Tristana has brought Teemo along to help her investigate. Looking around the premise for clues, Teemo accidentally trips on a piece of pink string tied to the house’s door. Following the strange piece of fabric into the woods, the pair find themselves going in circles for an hour before they go back to the house. With their search proving fruitless the pair start to mess with the string more and find that it won’t break. Wanting some answers, the two yordles decide to wait for the string’s owner to return. Their patience is soon rewarded as the Hooded comes flying towards them.

“Oh shoot, take cover! {Weee!} Alright you pink human, tell us why you’re coming around Norra’s house so much?! Do you know where she is?” Tristana questions the pink ball of fluff that slams down next to her. Picking up her cannon for added effect, she is shocked when the stranger’s hand passes through it and comes out with her ammo.

“Careful where you point that thing Tristana. I don’t know where the bookworm is but I do have a favor to ask you. I found a little girl named Lulu and I think she’ll come to Bandle soon. Could you take care of her for me? She gets anxious about what other people think of her. Oh hey Teemo you’re here too.” The Hooded innocently replies before shaking off his Courageous attire. Returning to normal, the yordle gunner recognizes who he is after he went around asking for Norra’s cat not too long ago.

“Well you’re not lying. So we’ve got an MIA coming back home named Lulu huh? Wait, you just left her alone?!” The “older sister” of the puppy brained short folk asks incredulously. Realizing Teemo is still dazed from the Hooded crash landing near them, Tristana takes one of his mushrooms and snaps it under his nose to wake him up.

“I mean she’s magical so it’s not like I could force to come with me. Anyways I was just using Norra’s house as a reference point so I wouldn’t get lost on my journey to check on Lulu. Hope I answered whatever questions you might have for me Tris, I’ll be heading home now.” Caleb informs the yordle cannoneer before teleporting away. Just by entering reality near his manor however gives the Hooded a strange feeling. Changing his destination at the last moment, he materializes outside of the hidden property and finds that it has transformed while he was away.

XxxX

Multiversal Shorts: Conflation Multiverse

Heading into work at his office stationery company, the Orc Boss Gruut Snarl checks his inbox and finds a threatening letter. Apparently Silver City’s resident xenophobic cult have sent him an ultimatum telling him and his nonhuman employees to leave town. The alternative being that they will send a small force to burn down his business and force them to leave. With the police not wanting to get involved unless it’s an all out takedown on the cult, and lacking time to get enough boyz to defend the company himself, Gruut Snarl decides on a different approach. Picking up a flier that also came in the mail, the orc decides to make a call to another fellow new company.

CNMU

Two miles just off the outskirts of Silver City’s winding rivers and iconic silvery skyscrapers, sits a humble two story brick building. With their fliers sent out, Fleetfoot Mercenary and Investigation Enterprises is open for business; mostly. Getting up from his soaked bed, Caleb greets the day by brushing his teeth before going into the kitchen to brew some coffee. Looking around at the boxes needing to be unpacked, the mercenary mage sighs and notes they could use more furniture. Putting on his second best black suit and rinsing his mouth out, the cofounder heads to his office and takes a seat behind his desk. The recent college graduate barely has time to sit down before the desk phone rings and he eagerly answers it.

“This is Fleetfoot Investigations and Mercenary Enterprises, Caleb Fleetfoot speaking. Sir I will let you know that I am not a git and we do provide defensive services. Yes the flier does mention flexible payment plans. The payment is usually determined on site and only after the work has been done; we do however expect payment within one day of completion but we won’t bankrupt you or anything like that. I see. Well I’d like to thank you for choosing us for this and we’ll be on site within the hour.” Caleb informs the ork as professionally as he can while fisting pumping in excitement. Summoning a bottle of champagne from a pocket dimension in his suit, the mercenary pops it to celebrate his company’s first official mercenary-based job.

Smelling the cheap wine from upstairs, a human sized blob of red slime emerges from Caleb’s bed and sinks through the floor to reach him. Opening one of his desk’s drawers, the slime reclaims the piece it used to listen in on his call. She then takes the opportunity to remind him of the investigation-based job that came in yesterday. Spitting out a photograph of a brunette girl, the slime’s fellow cofounder quickly loses his excitement at the reminder of all the recent missing children in the area. He remembers how grief stricken her florist mother was when she came to tell them about Ryleigh’s disappearance. Sighing, Caleb quickly puts his hands around the pile of ooze and promises her that they’ll completely commit to the young brunette’s case after this job. With that settled the pair gather as many weapons as they can carry inside of Caleb’s suit and leave to meet Mr. Snarl.

CNMU

Arriving at a five story office building made of glass and steel, the mercenaries spend all day constructing a plan after surveying the area. Built along one of the city’s rivers, this river covers the northern and eastern sides of the building; to defend this front Caleb deploys a beast known as the “octopanda” into the waters. Turning their focus to the lawn separating them from the street to the south and the parking lot in the west, Caleb’s fellow cofounder sets up an automated system of Cecil Beam Turrets on the ground floor. She also leaves “presents” for the incoming cultist spread out across the southern lawn. With the office supply building now fortified, Caleb heads towards the southwestern corner of the building and flips a desk over. Using it as cover, he takes a seat before his partner undulates next to him.

“Hey beautiful, considering what we’re dealing with I thought that old orc might give us some issues. Real glad he calmed down when he saw you were a non-human too. Alrighty then, it’s almost sundown which means it’s almost showtime. You know what to do but please be careful dear.” The young man tells his companion before sending her off with a pat to the “head”. As she slips away to complete her task, Caleb takes this moment to perform a weapons check; he proceeds to lay out a Chempunk Chainsword, a silver and steel bastard sword, and a holy blessed revolver paired with an infernal pistol.

Just as promised, when the sun sets four freight trucks and two skiffs acting as transports for the cultist appear. Counting them as they emerge, Caleb finds that each truck has over a dozen followers each and that each boat is holding six members each. He also notes how they are all wearing suits like his except with bowties; this annoys him as they are basically unintentionally mocking his professionalism. Hearing some shouting coming from the riverbank side of the building, the magus can only assume they found the “octopanda”. Opening a small portal to confirm what is happening, Caleb sees that one of the skiffs has capsized and soon after a large, black and white, aquatic bear with the beak of an octopus and eight furry tentacles is tearing apart the crew. As the other boat prepares to flee a rocket soon destroys it as well and Caleb realizes his partner didn’t want to leave him just yet. Meanwhile outside, the cultists hear the commotion and rush forward to kill any defenders they can. Their assault is cut short however when one of them suddenly explodes and they realize that the front lawn has landmines everywhere. Not wanting to give them a chance to recover from their “presents”, the mercenary mage quickly turns on the CBTs and begins to open fire with his pistols as well. With nowhere to take cover, the arsonists quickly run for the cover of their trucks. By the time they are in relative safety ten seconds have passed and over three quarters of them are dead. The final straw that breaks the camel's back and routes them is when Caleb combines his pistols into their Purgatory form before launching a ball of lightning towards them. Seeing one of their trucks explode, and realizing that whoever is inside is playing with them, the cultists make a break for it with the truck they are hiding behind.

Giving them a chance to “escape” before emerging from his spot, Caleb watches them from a distance before he starts to transform. Growing several feet taller, the magus’ head quickly turns more canid and skull-esque before sprouting large dark horns. His clothes are just as suddenly torn apart as flailing tendrils run down his spine before being replaced by a cloak of steel blue feathers. Using his now elongated arms and legs, Caleb moves onto all fours before climbing up a nearby building. As the wind blows the wispy gray hairs across his Dark Self’s body, the mercenary mage begins to stalk after the fleeing trunk using a trail of slime it was leaving behind.

CNMU

Tracking the fleeing cultists to an old meat distribution center underneath a highway, Caleb turns himself back to normal before sneaking inside. Finding an old emergency escape route sign the magus is able to plan out his route. If his numbers and thinking is correct then the cult’s leader will be in the overseer’s office on the third floor; with any luck the information for who is bankrolling them will also be there. Using the arrival of the panicking cult members to cover his infiltration to the second floor, he is almost immediately hit with the smell of rotting meat. Following the scent Caleb arrives at a locked down and puts his hand to it before opening a portal through it. Looking inside he sees several mounds of bodies in the process of being looted. As he gets ready to leave the magus instead hears several approaching voices and insides jumps into the room. Trying to find a place to hide, the mercenary takes a breath before diving into the pile of corpses.

“I can’t believe we’re being put on looting duty! Seriously how the fuck did that orc set up any of that in time? Hand me the circular saw.” A pale, tall man tells the blonde woman next to him before putting on an apron. He is then forced to wait a bit as she takes one last drag of her cigarette.

“Yeah, tell me about it. Here. Oh wait can you help me hook up this elf? Seriously, how are they so light footed but heavy?“ She asks her companion before grabbing the dark elf by their legs. Pulling the body off of the pile, they are too busy to see Caleb slightly sweating as he begins to panic a bit; not so much at the prospect of fighting but that if he does they might alert the entire building.

As if sensing the danger he is in, an older man suddenly starts stumbling into the room before he falls over. The pair of killers stop what they’re doing and go to help their convulsing elder when suddenly a stream of crimson erupts from his mouth. They aren’t even given a chance to scream as the pile of ooze encases both their heads and melts them by turning highly acidic. A few seconds pass before the now decapitated bodies hit the floor and the magus pulls himself up. Sticking his hand towards the pool of blood and slime he then cast his own personal reformation spell. Feeling the flow of his magic and latching on, Caleb’s companion reforms herself into the appearance of a nude woman; one that is slightly younger than him and with red hair that ends in pink highlights. Using her human form’s legs to walk towards the death woman cultist, Sona flops onto her body. Understanding what she wants, Caleb prepares a new spell and casts it to give her a magical replica of the deceased blonde’s attire.

“Ugh, never really did understand people who liked vore. Oh don’t look at me like that, besides did you plant the explosives just as planned? Who am I kidding of course you did. Come on Red, let's see if we can find what I want here. Thanks for the save by the way.” Caleb tells his partner before trading one slime soaked detonator for the old man’s bowler hat. Patting her on the head, the pair of mercenaries make their way to the third floor and locate the empty cult leader’s office to begin searching.

The Fleetfoot co-founders eventually succeed in their goal after finding a safe hidden behind a filing cabinet. Using her acid to melt the metal box open, Sona watches as Caleb speed reads through the various documents and notes inside. Once he is done and sets down the last page, the magus chuckles a bit at the irony that the xenophobic cult has been mostly funded by a demonic entity. In exchange for funds the fiend has been asking for children with high magical potential. Finding it a bit odd such a fiend would be operating outside of it’s jurisdiction in this part of reality, Caleb double checks the papers but finds nothing explaining it; instead he finds out the creature’s location. Having everything they need, the pair make a call to the local police and make their way towards the exits. Reaching the back loading bay area, the duo are confronted by a pair of guards. Not wanting to waste anymore time on the cult, Sona flings out two globlues of acid that melts one guard’s heart and the other’s head. Speed walking away so they can hurry to see if they can save Ryleigh, the investigators don’t even take the time to take in the sight of dozens of patrol cars arriving before a massive firefight breaks out. Before they teleport away, Sona takes Caleb’s hand and together they activate the detonator. With the cult’s headquarters erupting into flames behind them as the sun starts to rise in the distance, the Fleetfoot Investigators disappear.

CNMU

Appearing in a scrapyard just east of the city, Caleb and Sona search the mounds of metal for traces of demonic magic. Their search eventually leads them to a dilapidated trailer that Caleb decides to enter alone while having Sona keep watch outside. Making his way inside of the ominous residence, the magus instantly recognizes that he has just entered a pocket dimension; especially since the door closes behind him and disappears. Cautiously making his way inside of the residence, the investigator doesn’t need the warping shadows, breathing floorboards, or constant echoes of misery to know this is truly a den of evil. Summoning his bastard sword, Caleb channels mana into it and causes the blade to become electrified in order to act as a makeshift torch. Hearing something scurrying away, the magus looks around the corner of the nearby dying room and notices a flicker of candlelight. Following the source of the light underneath a table he finds a terrified young girl in rags. Despite approaching her as calmly as he can, the child yips in alarm before turning into a mouse and running away. Sensing where the immature druid is going by following her magic signature, Caleb finds that she has slipped under a nearby couch and decides to instead greet her magically instead of physically this time. Extending it like a hand, the girl feels what is almost like a storm coming towards her but one that brings her comfort instead of fear.

“Little lady, can you understand me? If you can, I came here to save you and bring you home. Ryleigh, your mommy is very worried about you and wants to see you again.” He calmly tells the little mouse before she emerges from hiding. Waiting for her to transform back, Caleb then picks her up and decides to ask her what happened while he plans their escape.

“I-I found out that I had magic and I got so scared that mommy w-would find out so I ran away! Then these people in suits grabbed me and then, and then they brought me here. She was so nice to us but then when she wanted to play hide and seek Timothy said he didn’t want to so she ahh!” The sobbing druid girl is unable to finish her blubbering explanation as she looks up. Clinging to the ceiling with eight arachnid legs on it’s side is the demon, a nightmarish creature with reptilian hind legs, no face, and strands of flesh acting as clothing.

Dropping down to impale the adult intruder, the demon isn’t prepared for when he transforms his arms and smacks it away mid-air. Not wanting to give it a chance to recover, Caleb grabs it and slams the fiend into a nearby wall before punching it hard enough to embed it in place. With the creature stuck in place for now, the magus quickly picks up Ryleigh and runs off with her. Recovering shortly afterwards, the fiend follows after then but it stops near the dining room when it notices a dying candle on the ground. Swatting it to extinguish the light, the fiend leaves quickly to resume it’s chase once the burning obstruction is gone.

Sensing something is wrong, Sona tries to head inside of the trailer but finds she is unable to open the door. Knowing that her partner needs her, the slime increases her acidity to try drilling her way inside. Her minor hopes that it would be easy are quickly dashed when the trailer starts to regenerate. This doesn’t deter her however as she only increased her corrosive assault on the residence while draining it of any magic that tries to stop her.

Meanwhile inside, Caleb has escaped back to the foyer he entered from but still doesn’t see a door. Turning towards the approaching skittering sound, the mercenary mage charges the lightning in his blade before firing it. While the fiend is able to dodge the electrical attack, Caleb is able to notice that it still flinched in pain once the light of the area increased. Channeling more power into his blade, the magus illuminates the room and forces the demon back. Turning back to check on Ryleigh he notices a small hole appearing in the wall of the residence. Checking to make sure the fiend isn’t looking, Caleb tells the druidic child to escape while he tries to finish this. Transforming herself back into a mouse, the girl leaps out of the small hole and finds herself in a mass of slime. Relenting her attack upon feeling something enter her, Sona gently ejects the child out of her before she starts to make the gap big enough for Caleb to escape as well. Noticing his partner’s efforts, the Durand graduate starts to cover the growing doorway with a barrier of shadows. Feigning his strength weakening by slowly dimming the light of his blade, Caleb stares down the demon before him. “Come and get me!”, the magus yells at the fiend before it rushes towards him in a mass of undulating limbs. As it pounces towards him, the investigator springs his trap. Dispelling his barrier of shadows to let in the rising sun’s light, Caleb ducks and lets the fiend fling itself outside. With his foe in a compromised position, the magus unleashes another bolt of lighting that ignites the entrance of the trailer on fire. Flawlessly executing his plan, all that’s left for Caleb to do is shove fire multiple blessed bullets into it’s burning body before decapitating it with his chainsword.

CNMU

A day passes and Caleb is finishing up a call as Sona walks into his office with their orders from Burger Emperor. Hanging up, the magus gets up from his desk and carries his partner upstairs to their newly refurbished living room. Laying her down on the new purple couch they bought, the Fleetfoot co-founders cuddle together, distribute each other’s food and relax.

“Mmm this feels nice. I know it was just supposed to be just business when we got all those cultists killed but between the two million unit reward and the stationary for life from that orc… mmm I’m glad they’re dead. Aren’t you my gooey gal?” Caleb confesses while nuzzling his partner before she picks up a piece of chocolate from the table. Jiggling a bit from giggling at his thought process, Sona agrees before tossing the candy into herself.

Moving herself so that her head is in his lap, the slime girl enjoys it when her partner starts to stroke her head. Eating a burger in one hand while enjoying the feeling of the ooze’s purring against him with his other, Caleb gets an alert on his phone that their mail has arrived. Finishing up their food, the investigating pair head back downstairs and find a letter asking for their help in the reception area. Reading it over, the mercenaries learn that a local noble family is currently suffering from a haunting of some kind and are requesting help. Looking into each other’s eyes, Caleb snaps his fingers and the pair are quickly dressed before heading out to see about this new job.

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