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Until we meet again

Chapter Text

Wet drops hit the ground. A continuous sough could be heard. Sylvain wondered when it had started to rain. He couldn't quite tell. His expression was empty and he was kneeling on the ground, right in the dirt. This was a bloody battlefield and corpses were scattered all around it but to Sylvain they all looked the same. It was as if each of these dead bodies was faceless.

Only one of them had a face and that was the one he was holding in his arms, gently, as if cradling the body to sleep. But he was aware the person he was holding was no longer alive. The noises of the fight were dampened, the redhead barely aware of what was happening around him. His expression twisted to a pained, sad one. Why did the person in his arms have to look so... peaceful, even though he was covered in blood?

"Oh Fe, why didn't you come home...?" he asked in a trembling voice, tears slowly welling up in the corners of his eyes. His throat was sore.
Of course his question would remain unanswered. He raised one of his shaky hands to softly caress Felix' cheek.
"I never had the chance to tell you that I..." the redhead began, his voice trailing off as he began to sob.

"If only I could be reborn in a world where I can be with you... Goddess, please, I am begging of you, if you could give me one more chance, please, let me be by his side one more time." he pleaded. It was barely a prayer and more of a desperate man's last hope.

He knew what he had to do. He gently placed Felix' body on the ground and grabbed the raven's sword that was laying right next to him. "Don't worry, Fe. I'm not here to break our promise." he spoke with a sad smile across his lips.

He was still kneeling besides the body as he raised the sword, the tip pointed towards his chest.
"Maybe we'll see eachother again one day..."
With a single thrust, the sword ran straight through his chest. He coughed up some blood as his vision went blurry. The last thing he saw was a very blurry image of Felix' face, right in front of his.

***

Sylvain jumped up in his bed. That dream again. He would always end up forgetting about it up until he next dreamed it again. And he was aware it was a recurring dream. He didn't dream of it daily, maybe not even weekly, who knows, but everytime he had that dream, he knew he had seen it before. It always lingered in his mind for second, minutes, sometimes even hours, but he would eventually forget. It had been there for years and for years Sylvain was convinced that maybe there was some meaning behind it.

He ran his hand across his cheek. Tears. It seems lately the dream was somehow... clearer than back then. As if he had actually been there. He tried to remember the name of the person he was holding in that dream but just as always, the memory was soon gone.

Some days Sylvain was still convinced this dream bore some kind of meaning. Other days he was convinced it was just a weird dream his mind kept repeating for some reason. He ran his hand through his hair, stretched and finally got up.

Sylvain had only recently moved into his own flat. And as much as he hated his family, or mostly his brother and his father, he couldn't quite get used to the silence. He felt lonely. And it was even worse whenever he had this dream, as if it caused him to realise that there was a big gaping hole where his heart belonged.

He was convinced that he had no heart, otherwise he wouldn't have been able to hurt this many women in his life. But he couldn't help it. He felt better about himself whenever the women complimented him back. But he didn't feel anything for them, just like they never bothered to get to know him.

As that thought crossed his mind, Sylvain rolled up his sleeves to looks at a few white scars scattered all across his arms and mostly the wrists. He was lucky the scars usually healed pretty well and were barely visible after a while. But he could still see them because he knew they were there.

He managed to not do it for a while, ever since his father passed away. It was still a mystery to Sylvain how his mother could shed tears for a man like him. His brother, Miklan, had not even shown up to the funeral. Sylvain showed up so his mother wouldn't be alone but unlike her, he couldn't shed a single tear.

 

Even though he had protested at first, he ended up listening to his friend Ingrid's suggestion and set up an ad that he was searching for a roommate. He had asked Ingrid to move in but she, polite as she is, declined.

She was living Sylvain's dream in an all-girls shared flat. Her roommates were two cute girls called Mercedes and Annette and Sylvain was so, so jealous. He got along with the other two girls quite well but Ingrid would often tell him if he ever dared flirting with them, she'd make his life hell on earth and the readhead was not keen on finding out whether she meant that. One time he asked Ingrid whether she was jealous and she smacked him so hard that Sylvain swore he was still able to feel it weeks later.

 

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of his phone's ringtone. He looked at the screen: Ingrid.
"Speak of the devil." Sylvain chuckled as he picked up.

"Hey Ingrid, how's it going?"
"Oh, I'm fine. I should be asking how you are doing. You didn't forget about that potential roommate visiting, right?" she asked.

"Ingrid, you know me. I am not as stupid as I seem. Most of the time, at least." he laughed.
"Alright. Do you remember his name? I don't want you to look like an idiot because you forgot." Ingrid sighed.
"Of course! It was, uh..." Sylvain began.
"Something with F..." he mumbled.

"Are you serious? His name is Felix, Sylvain. And I shouldn't be remembering it in your stead." she scolded Sylvain.
"I know, I know. Thanks, Ingrid. You are saving my ass, as always."

Sylvain couldn't quite shake the feeling that the name seemed familiar. But he was certain he didn't know anyone with that name.

"You should be grateful, so do me a favour and don't mess this up. Believe it or not but I care about you and I can't quite bear watching you isolate yourself in your lonely little flat." she sighed.

"Hey, Ingrid... Do you know anyone called Felix? The name seems kind of... familiar."
Ingrid went quiet for a while.
"Actually, if I remember correctly, Glenn's little brother was called Felix. But he always acted like he was still in his 'I hate girls'-phase so I never really got to know him. I wouldn't know why the name would sound familiar to you, though." she explained.
"Huh, weird."

"So anyway, are you sure you don't want to move in with me?" Sylvain asked.
"For the last time, no, I don't. I think a male roommate would be just right for you. And I am quite happy with my current situation, thank you very much."

The redhead snickered.
"I would be happy in a flat full of beautiful girls too, you know." he replied with a big grin on his face.
"Sylvain, I swear...!"
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I'll call you back later, alright?" he apologised.
"Yeah. And you better behave, got it? Talk to you later."
"Bye bye, Ingrid." Sylvain hung up.

 

It wasn't long until Felix would arrive. Sylvain wandered around his flat that he had tidied up before. He started regretting this, thinking he would probably be better off living with a friend or just by himself but it was too late to turn back now.

"That damned Ingrid, always worrying about me like I'm some kind of child..." Sylvain silently complained to himself as the doorbell rang.

The redhead immediately pushed the button for the door below to open, then opened the door to his flat. He was nervous and he didn't exactly know what for. It's not like he was about to meet his date or something.

He heard the footsteps getting louder and finally he was in front of Sylvain. He had long, raven hair that was tied back into a messy little ponytail, eyebags and an expression that basically screamed "leave me the fuck alone".

"Hey there, my name is Sylv–"
"Don't you have an intercom to use? You could've literally just let an intruder in." the man said in a stern voice.
"Uh... Sorry...?" the redhead apologised, his polite smile slowly fading.
That was... weird.

Their eyes met and Sylvain could swear he has seen that face before. He looked so familiar. And he could swear he saw the other man's eyes widen for a second before he quickly turned away to look around.

"You shouldn't apologise to me. It's your place that would've been robbed after all." he replied.
"Uhm... Anyway, my name is–"
"Sylvain. I know." the raven replied, his voice not sounding quite as disinterested as Sylvain would have expected.

"And you're Felix, right?" he asked, immediately regretting it.
Luckily, Felix just replied with a brief "Yeah," and kept looking around.

"Did you tidy this place up before I came or does it always look like that?" he asked.
"I did tidy it up more than usual but I usually try to keep it neat and clean." Sylvain replied.
"Yeah, sure. As if." Felix just replied and Sylvain was sure he heard him huff a little in amusement.
"I'm serious!"
"Yeah, whatever."

"Hey, can I ask you something?" Sylvain suddenly spoke.
Felix stopped and turned his head to look at the taller man.
"Alright. Go ahead."

"Have we... met before?" the redhead asked.
Felix just shook his head.
"I don't think we did." he replied as he turned back.
"Right. I must have mistaken you for someone else then." Sylvain sighed.

"So where would my room be?" Felix asked.
"Ah, right. Just follow me." Sylvain went ahead and showed Felix the other bedroom. Other than a bed, a nightstand and a wardrope, there wasn't anything inside. However, that was more than Felix expected.
"Not bad." he commented.
"So, are you interested?" Sylvain smiled.

"I am. However, let me just tell you this right away: I am not here to find a new best friend. I'm not interested in being friends, so don't even bother trying." Felix warned.
Sylvain raised an eyebrow at the sudden hostility.
"Uhm... That's fine. Just... Think about it and give me a call once you've made up your mind." he offered.
"Alright. I will be on my way now."

 

As soon as Felix left the flat, Sylvain called Ingrid again.
"Hello, Sylvain. So, how did it go?" she asked.
"I'm... quite unsure, actually. I mean, I think he likes the place and all but... he doesn't seem to like me..." Sylvain huffed a little at the irony.
He could totally understand why people would dislike him.

"What did you do?" Ingrid sighed.
"Other than trying my best and being polite? I don't know." he answered in a mocking tone.
"I think he just hates my guts, you know."

"Okay, in that case I propose two options: you either try, see if he wants to move in and if he really hates you that much, I'm pretty sure he'll leave all on his own or you tell him you found someone else who will move in, after all we did this to find someone who could take ca–"

"I'm not a child, Ingrid. I don't need someone to take care of me. You know what? If he wants to, he can move in. After all, he is neither my babysitter nor my therapist." Sylvain replied with annoyance in his voice.

"I'm sorry, Sylvain. I didn't mean to say you are a child..." the blonde sighed.
"It's okay, just... don't worry about it. I'll be making lunch now, though. Talk to you later."

***

Shortly after his visit, Felix called and told Sylvain that he would like to move in. The redhead agreed, possibly out of spite, possibly because he was starting to feel more and more lonely with each day.

Felix didn't bring much when he moved in, the most curious thing he brought, however, was a sword. An actual sword.
"Don't worry, I only use it against annoying people but you better get your act together." Felix softly laughed when Sylvain stared at him in utter confusion.

Sylvain's heart skipped a beat when he heard Felix laugh but he couldn't quite tell why. Felix seemed somewhat calmer than he was the first time they met and Sylvain was aware he shouldn't get his hopes up but maybe, just maybe they could one day become friends.

"So, uh... Wanna tell me something about yourself?" he asked in a friendly tone.
Felix rolled his eyes.
"No."
"That's fine. Wanna know anything about me?"
"No." Felix repeated.
Ouch. Talking to this man was a real challenge.
"So what do you do in your freet–"
"Bring this to the bathroom. And stop interrogating me." Felix demanded as he handed Sylvain a toothbrush.
"Yes, sir." the redhead sighed as he headed to the bathroom.

Felix couldn't shake the feeling that he had seen Sylvain before. Maybe he was one of Glenn's friends? Knowing how much that damned redhead enjoyed talking, Felix was sure he could just ask him later. But then again, there was this small fear that Sylvain wouldn't stop talking and Felix wasn't sure whether it was worth the risk.

"Alright, anything else I can carry for you, your Highness?" Sylvain laughed.
Felix looked at him in displeasure.
"Drop that stupid name right now or I'll make you regret ever coming up with it." he threatened Sylvain.
"Alright, alright. I'm sorry." Sylvain quickly apologised.

"Sylvain, do you know someone named Glenn?" the raven suddenly asked.
"Well, I wouldn't exactly– Oh wait! Hold on, are you his brother?" Sylvain asked as he remembered the conversation he had with Ingrid.

So he was one of Glenn's friends, Felix thought. He was surprised he didn't remember because his memory was actually quite good.
"I guess in that case, maybe we have met before."

"Huh? Oh no, I don't really know Glenn. But I'm friends with his girlfriend, Ingrid. She told me that Glenn's brother is called Felix, so–" Sylvain began to explain.
"Alright, you can stop talking now. Guess I was wrong then." Felix angrily interrupted Sylvain.

"I'm sorry. Hey uhm... Maybe we should take a break. I could cook something." Sylvain suggested.
Felix' expression softened and he looked a little surprised.
"Okay." he just agreed as he shoved the box aside and sat down on the sofa.
"Sweet or spicy?" the redhead winked at Felix.
"Spicy."

 

Sylvain returned after a while to see Felix has made himself more or less comfortable on the sofa. He placed one of the dishes in front of Felix, the other one next to it.

"I usually don't eat on the sofa but I guess I can make an exception today." the redhead smiled.
"Whatever. Thank you for the meal." Felix replied bluntly but Sylvain could swear his face was slightly redder than usual.

Just as the redhead was about to reach for his plate, Felix pointed at his arm.
"What the fuck is that?" he asked.
"Huh? What's the matter?" Sylvain looked back at him, visibly confused.
Felix roughly grabbed his wrist and pointed at the barely visible scars.
"This."
As Felix realised he had just touched Sylvain, he quickly let go of his wrist.

"Oh, it's just... Don't worry about it. It used to be a, uh... bad habit of mine." Sylvain tried to laugh it off and pulled his sleeves back down.
"A bad habit? Are you kidding?" Felix looked almost offended.
"I'm not laughing, am I? Now, let's just eat. I don't wanna talk about it."
Oh, now he didn't want to talk anymore.

"I don't care who or what convinced you to do that shit but you will only end up hurting others with that behavior."
"Don't worry about it. I'm doing much better these days." Sylvain just replied.
He looked at Felix.
"Why do you care anyway?"

Felix looked down at the ground.
"I... I had a friend of mine kill himself a few years ago..." he silently admitted.
Sylvain suddenly felt bad for asking.
"I'm sorry... I shouldn't have asked..."
"It's fine, just... Let's eat."

 

They ate the food and unpacked the remaining stuff Felix had brought.

Just as Sylvain was about to sit down, his phone started ringing. He looked at the screen. It was Dimitri. He picked up.
"Hey Dima, haven't heard from you in a while, how are you?"
He headed for his bedroom to get some privacy, leaving Felix alone on the sofa.

Felix was slightly exhausted and very tired. He removed his hair tie because, as Glenn would say, keeping his hair tied back for too long would only give him a headache. He closed his eyes and soon drifted off to sleep.

***

Felix' sword was covered in blood and now he was standing in front of Sylvain, well aware that only one of them would live to see the next day. Sylvain had dismounted his horse and he was holding his lance as if ready to attack if Felix was to charge at him.
"Felix, please... Please come home..." Sylvain begged.
His face, his hands and his lance, all was covered in blood.

"I already told you, I won't turn back now, Sylvain. Now get out of my way, or else..." he warned the taller man.
But the redhead just shook his head.
"Felix, you know I can't do that. I won't betray the king, and you shouldn't either. He was our friend...!"

And Sylvain was right. Felix would be lying if he said he was always convinced the path he had chosen was the right one and maybe that was the reason why he charged at his former childhood friend. He never had the intention to kill Sylvain. But he knew the only way Sylvain would make it out alive was if Felix himself died right here.

"I'm not in the position to ask for anything but please, Goddess, if I had one more chance to live a life by his side, I would take it." were the last words that shot through Felix' mind as he felt a stinging pain in his stomach.

A pained smile formed on his bloody lips, as if he was trying to tell Sylvain that he did the right thing. The last thing he saw before he would close his eyes forever was the pure horror in Sylvain's face.

***

Felix jumped up. He was on the sofa but there was a pillow beneath his head and a blanket over his body. His stomach hurt. He's had this dream before but he has never felt the pain and all these emotions like he did this time. He would usually end up forgetting the dream but this time it felt so... clear. As if someone or something wanted him to remember this time.

Sylvain killed him. He couldn't tell why he seemed to be okay with that in his dream or what led them to this situation in the first place but he felt sick because Sylvain killed him. And that was probably the reason he seemed so familiar, because Felix had seen him in his dreams for years, killing Felix over and over again.

He felt a feeling of discomfort when Sylvain entered the room.
"Felix, listen I just–" he began, he seemed excited and shocked at the same time.
But Felix didn't want to see him right now.
"Go away. I don't want to talk to you." he just replied.
Sylvain looked disappointed.
"But–"

"I said: Go away!" Felix repeated.
Of course he was aware it was just a dream but for some reason the images and the feeling of a lance that Sylvain himself wielded killing him just left him feeling disgusted.

Sylvain looked back at Felix but eventually went back to his room. He didn't know why Felix was mad at him all of a sudden, or why he looked at Sylvain the way he did before.

All Sylvain knew was that he finally remembered the dream he dreamed ever so often. And the other person, the other man in this dream, the one Sylvain was holding like he meant the world to him; it was Felix. He finally understood why the name and the face of this man felt so familiar.

But he didn't know Felix. He didn't even know why he wanted to tell Felix in the first place.

 

After Sylvain left, Felix felt empty. Lonely. But it felt like the right thing to do before. He thought maybe he should go apologise to Sylvain but he didn't know how. Would he just go over to Sylvain and say "Sorry, I dreamed that you killed me and got angry"? No matter what words he tried to use, it always sounded wrong in his head.

If only he could just show Sylvain what he saw, show Sylvain how he felt, make Sylvain feel the way he felt. But something in his mind told him to just go, go and tell Sylvain. Tell him about his dream. Tell him about what he saw, what he felt.

Felix slowly got up and walked towards Sylvain's door, knocking lightly. No response. He knocked much louder and Sylvain finally opened the door.

"I thought you didn't want to see me." he spoke and he looked sad.
"I came to apologise, Sylvain. I... didn't mean to snap on you like that."
"It's fine. I probably deserved that." Sylvain smiled sadly.
"No, it's... Can I come inside?" Felix asked.

Sylvain sighed but he nodded and let Felix inside. Sylvain sat down on his bed and Felix settled for his desk chair.

"Let me explain it to you... I know it will probably sound stupid but..." Felix started nervously fumbling around with his hands.
"I had this dream for years now. Not every night, but some nights. I usually forgot what it was about but lately I felt like the dream was somehow... clearer and this night I saw it again but I can still remember what happened. I didn't forget what it was about this time." he began to explain, avoiding Sylvain's gaze.

"Me too. I had the same thing happen to me." Sylvain admitted.
Felix finally looked back up at Sylvain. He was surprised, shocked and confused, all at once. This was a weird coincidence...

"Well, in my dream, there were you and me and we were fighting. I don't know how it came to be, I only ever seem to dream about this part. We were talking about how I should go 'back home'. I can always hear my thoughts, praying to a Goddess that I..." Felix blushed.
"...that I want to have another chance to live my life by your side. And then all I feel is pain. You looked horrified but you killed me, Sylvain. Yet in this dream, I seem to be forgiving you." he finished and he immediately felt a bit of the pain in his stomach again.

"Huh, guess it's my turn now." Sylvain snickered softly.
"It's funny because... it's as if my dream directly follows yours. I was kneeling on a battlefield, covered in dirt and blood, there were corpses everywhere but I... I was holding a body, holding him like he meant so much to me. And last night I came to realise that body, that person... It was you. I think that's why you felt so familiar. In my dream I was about to..." he blushed as well, but there was also sadness in his expression.

"I think I was about to confess to you. And I, too, prayed to a Goddess, that I wanted to be reborn in a world where I could be with you. And right after that I put your body down, grabbed your sword and... I killed myself. I remember that I said something about a promise but..."

And suddenly, just as Sylvain finished talking about his dream, it was as if it only took those two fragments of a shared dream for the two men to remember. It was as if they had known eachother for a lifetime and loved eachother almost equally as long.

Tears started welling up in Felix' eyes, the pain in his stomach was replaced with a feeling of warmth. Sylvain on the other hand started smiling as if he had just found his reason to live. He grabbed Felix' arm and pulled him into a hug, gently caressing the back of his head.

"I'm so glad to finally have you back, Fe..." Sylvain whispered.
Felix buried his face in Sylvain's shoulder, only soft sobs and sniffs escaping him. But it was alright because they had eachother again.

"I've waited so long to tell you that I love you."
Felix looked up at Sylvain again, holding onto him as if he was to disappear if he let him go.
"I love you too, Sylvain. Please don't leave me ever again."

Sylvain cupped Felix' face with his hands.
"Do you remember our promise?"
Felix nodded.
"How about we concentrate on the sticking together part for as long as we can?" Sylvain smiled warmly.
"Yes, I would like that very much." Felix smiled as well.

Sylvain leaned down to close what little distance was left between him and the love of his... lives. Felix' lips were surprisingly soft and warm and the feeling of finally being able to kiss him made Sylvain feel like he was about to burst from happiness. When their lips parted, Felix couldn't help but grin.

Sylvain has never seen that expression on him but he would always cherish the memory and he would do anything to see it again.

"So... How am I going to explain this to Ingrid?" Sylvain asked.
Felix rested his head on Sylvain's shoulder and closed his eyes.
"I don't know, be creative, I guess." he huffed.

Chapter Text

Felix was sitting on the couch, legs and arms crossed. It was almost impossible to tell that mere seconds ago he was overwhelmed with joy to the point he was crying. And now he was sitting there, looking as serious as usual but Sylvain knew Felix was just as happy as he was.

"Alright, I'll be right back, I'll just call Ingrid real quick and try to explain the situation, uh... somehow..." Sylvain laughed nervously.

"Do I even want to know what you told her about me?" Felix sighed.
"Well excuse me, but someone didn't exactly act as if he liked me much."
"Pffft, yeah, whatever." Felix rolled his eyes but he couldn't help but smile a bit afterwards.

He was just happy, somewhat relieved to be able to joke with Sylvain like this again. Of course they were in a complicated situation but Felix was just grateful to be with Sylvain for now. 


Sylvain went to his room and called Ingrid again. It took a while for her to pick up but she eventually did.

"Hey, Ingrid. It's me again." he greeted her.
"Sylvain? Did something happen? You usually don't call me that early."
"No... I mean, yeah, sort of..." he replied.

"Really? Are you okay? Shall I come over?" Ingrid asked in a concerned tone.
"No, no. Nothing bad happened, i'm fine. It's just... complicated. Uh, where do I start..." Sylvain spoke as he placed his index finger on his chin.

"Remember how I asked you whether you know anyone called Felix?"
"Yes, of course I do. It's only been a few days. Though I doubt it's the reason the name sounded familiar to you, Annette told me she knows Felix."
"Oh, really? Would've thought she would've told you about him in that case." 
"Apparently he doesn't like being talked about. But that's besides the point right now – why did you ask?" 

"Well, I kinda figured out why the name sounded familiar to me, I guess. I know this might sound extremely weird but... I've had this recurring dream and I don't know how to explain it but it's kinda like... I remember a past life of mine." he explained.

"...what?"
"I know, I know, it sounds crazy but listen... It actually gets even crazier..." he chuckled as he ran his hand through his hair, thinking about how the hell he would explain to Ingrid that Felix and he were kinda dating now.

"No, actually there's this dream I've dreamed for years. Only some nights. I can't ever seem to remember what happens in the dream but for some reason it feels... important." the blonde suddenly told Sylvain.

"Yeah, that's exactly what happened to me too! Except this morning I actually remembered the dream and well... I ended up telling Felix about it and turns out he had a very similar dream to mine and that's when my memories returned to me and, well..."

"Well what?" Ingrid asked impatiently.
"We are kinda... sort of..."
"Sylvain, please get to the point, I need to go to work soon."
"We are dating, I guess..." he finally admitted.

"Dating? I mean... If you are serious about this for once, I won't complain but are you sure about this? You've only known him for a couple of days..."
"In this life, yes. Just... give him a chance, okay?" the redhead chuckled.
"Alright... I'll be heading out soon. Goodbye, Sylvain."
"Bye bye, Ingrid." he hung up.


Sylvain left his room and went back to the living room only to see Felix had actually made himself comfortable on the couch this time.

"Hey there, sunshine. Are you hungry?" he asked with a grin on his face.
"Call me that one more time and I will put that sword I brought to use." Felix hissed back at Sylvain.
"Alright, alright, sorry. Want me to make some scrambled eggs for you?"
"...yes." Felix silently replied.

"Okay, I'll be right–"
"I'm coming with you" he interrupted Sylvain as he slowly got up.
The redhead couldn't help but chuckle softly. Felix was always very clingy as a child, he wouldn't be surprised if some of that clinginess was still deep inside Felix. But Sylvain decided not to comment on it this time and just headed to the kitchen, Felix quietly following him.

Once they were in the kitchen, Sylvain prepared everything he needed, whereas Felix was only standing there, staring, as if he didn't really know what to do.

"Can you pass me the eggs?" Sylvain asked with a warm smile on his lips.
Felix just stood there, captivated. Sylvain was so handsome and that smile made his heart skip a beat. He really was just a lovestruck fool right now.
"Hello? Earth to Felix? Can you please pass me the eggs?"

Finally Felix snapped out of it, his cheeks flushing crimson red as he quickly got some eggs from the fridge to pass to Sylvain.

"Thank you."
And there was this smile again on Sylvain's face. It was so genuine, warm and loving, unlike anything Felix had ever seen. He would have loved to just take a picture and frame it so he could always look at it but he also wanted that smile to be his, only for him to see. He wondered whether Sylvain had selfish thoughts like this too.

"So... Do you have any plans for today, Fe?" Sylvain suddenly asked, interrupting Felix' thoughts once more.
Despite never admitting it, Felix loved when Sylvain called him "Fe". The way he said it was so tender. He slowly shook his head.
"No, I'm free today." he replied.

"Perfect. Want to go shopping?"
Felix raised an eyebrow at Sylvain's question.
"Shopping? Seriously?"
"Yes. I just..." Sylvain's eyes were focused on the eggs as he was avoiding Felix' gaze for once and Felix could swear he was blushing slightly.

"I just want to spend a beautiful day with you and go out on a date I guess. Since I don't know where you lived before you moved in with me, I thought I could show you around a bit." he admitted.

Felix didn't even put up a fight. How could he when Sylvain was just trying to spend some quality time him? He just sighed.
"Alright, fine." he agreed, nowhere near as hesitant as he had wished.
Sylvain's face lit up and Felix couldn't help but smile as well when he saw that. 

The air started smelling like scrambled eggs so Felix looked over Sylvain's shoulder to see that he was indeed almost done.
"...smells good..." Felix muttered.
"Hm?"
"Nothing."

"Alright then. Can you take out plates for us?" Sylvain requested as he pointed at one of the cabinets.
Felix quietly opened the cabinet and placed the two plates on the counter so Sylvain could put some of the scrambled eggs on them.

"Where do you want to eat? Sofa or table?" the readhead then asked as the two men each picked up a plate.
"I thought you didn't like eating on the sofa."
"I'll make an excpetion. For you." Sylvain winked at the younger man.

Honestly, he had no business looking that good, Felix thought. He furrowed his eyebrows, another faint blush appearing on his cheeks.

"Sofa." he just replied, immediately marching back to the living room.
Sylvain put the frying pan aside and grabbed his plate to follow Felix to the living room as well. They both sat down on the sofa and started eating.

It was that moment that Sylvain realised that Ingrid was right. He had been lonely. He did need someone else in his life. He wasn't sure whether he would've felt the same way had it been someone else or under different circumstances but he was so glad it was Felix and that everything turned out the way it did. He enjoyed the domesticity of the moment and how calm it was.

"It tastes good." Felix smiled.
"Why thank you." Sylvain replied, a smile spreading across his lips as well.

"Your smile... it's beautiful." he added.
Felix turned towards Sylvain, a somewhat shocked expression now on his face.
"No need to look at me like that. I've always thought it was beautiful, this is just the first time I'm saying it out loud." Sylvain chuckled, earning him a blush from the other man.

Felix opened his mouth to say something but honestly, he couldn't even come up with a snippy comment at the moment so he just turned away, his gaze fixated on the food he was eating.

"So, anywhere specific you want to go later?" Sylvain asked.
God, he really couldn't stay silent for a single minute. Felix softly shook his head.
"Just show me around a bit, that should suffice." he answered.

They continued eating for a while until Sylvain opened his mouth again to say something. Felix just rolled his eyes, grabbed Sylvain by the collar and pressed his lips against Sylvain's, hoping that would shut him up for at least five minutes.

The redhead just blinked and looked at Felix wide-eyed, still trying to process what just happened. He could be such a tease.

***

Felix had been living in a neighbouring city for most of his life. He'd visited this city once in a while but despite not admitting it, he was glad Sylvain took the opportunity to show him around.

The redhead was walking very close to him, their shoulders almost touching. He couldn't hold back for long though as Felix could feel Sylvain's hand softly brushing against his as if to invite him to hold hands.

Felix wouldn't have minded to if it wasn't for Sylvain's father. It was way too risky, so he pulled his hand away, gaining him a sad look from the other man.

"I'm sorry, Sylvain but I don't want your father to find out." the raven apologized.
And that's when Sylvain remembered that Felix didn't know his father had passed away not too long ago. He was touched that Felix tried to be cautious for his sake.

"Uhm, well, about that..." Sylvain began when Felix looked up at him with a somewhat curious expression.
"My father passed away a few months ago. There's no need to worry about it. I even attended his funeral, can you believe it?" he chuckled softly.

Some days he was still convinced he should be ashamed for not caring about his father's demise at all but then again, his father was one of the most terrible people he knew. He was the main reason Sylvain hated himself this much, the reason Sylvain never truly felt love up until he met Felix (again) and the reason Sylvain was ready to throw his life away at any given chance. The only people who kept him from doing just that were the few friends he had, especially Ingrid and Dimitri.

He might have chuckled just now but Felix could sense the sadness in Sylvain's tone as soon as he mentioned his father. Felix was sure this wasn't because of his father's death but rather because Sylvain had so many painful memories linked to this man. It was so unfair how one person could ruin another's life without a second thought. Just thinking about it made Felix' heart ache. He wished he could have been there sooner, supported Sylvain throughout all of this, at least in this lifetime.

"I'm sorry." was all Felix could say.
Sylvain just looked at him with a raised eyebrow.
"For what? You know me, couldn't even shed a tear for him. I'm surprised my mother could."
"No. I mean... I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you sooner, when he was still alive." Felix explained.

The redhead gently smiled at him causing Felix' cheeks to heat up ever so slightly.
"It's alright, Felix. It's not your fault and there wasn't anything you could've possibly done." he tried to reassure the other man.

Felix didn't reply, he didn't really know what to say. Of course he knew there wasn't much he could have done but he still felt bad for not being able to at least be there for Sylvain when he just needed a shoulder to cry on. He decided he should try to make up for it now – now that they had eachother.

He smiled up at the taller man as he gently grabbed his hand, a faint blush appearing on Sylvain's cheeks. He smiled even brighter than before as he softly squeezed Felix' hand.

"So, anywhere specific you'd like to go now, Fe?" he asked.
Felix just looked away and didn't reply as if he did have an idea but was not ready to share it with Sylvain, much to Sylvain's joy. If Felix was too embarrassed to say it, it had to be something romantic, right?

"Come on, you can tell me!" Sylvain nudged Felix.
Felix just mumbled something barely audible.
"What?"
"I said maybe we could go eat together." he repeated more clearly.

Sylvain's face lit up even more.
"Oh, yes, I'd love to! I know just the right place!"
Felix just let Sylvain lead him to whatever place he wanted to go to, he was just happy Sylvain seemed to have recovered from their talk about his father that quickly.


They were soon seated in a little restaurant. Sylvain confessed he didn't usually eat at restaurants and picked it mostly for the romantic atmosphere as he had been here with a girl before.

"I'm sorry, I just can't help it. I've never felt this way about anyone so I guess there's just this desire to spoil you in every way possible in me now." Sylvain laughed.

***

They returned late in the evening. Sylvain barely managed to unlock their flat door as Felix' arms were wrapped around his neck and he repeatedly pressed his lips against Sylvain's. The redhead somehow managed to open the door and quickly kicked it shut as they almost stumbled inside.

They continued their hasty making out session on the couch. It was almost like those overly romantic, yet quite sexual movie scenes, just a lot less elegant. Sylvain merely pulled back when he had to catch his breath and Felix himself would be lying if he said he didn't only manage to go that long because he low-key wanted to one-up Sylvain.

"Shit, I'm sorry, Felix." he chuckled breathlessly.
"It's fine." Felix just replied, silently enjoying the fact Sylvain had to pull back first.
"I don't think I can go further though, I'm exhausted." Sylvain confessed.

"It's alright, I'm tired as well and I have to go to work tomorrow."
Sylvain smiled softly and leaned in a little closer.
"Will you sleep in my room from now on, please?" he silently asked.
He was probably well aware Felix' answer to this question would be 'yes' anyway. However, Felix still nodded softly to give Sylvain a clear answer.

Sylvain smiled so brightly despite it seemingly not being a big thing, at least not to Felix. They were in a relationship so obviously they'd be sharing a bed from now on, right? But he could tell how important it was to Sylvain so he was more than happy to do it.

They both got up from the couch, Felix stretching his limbs in a way it kinda reminded Sylvain of a cat, and entered their now shared bedroom. They stripped down to their underwear, Felix quickly leaving to grab at least some pajama trousers, and laid down. Sylvain was quick to wrap his arms around Felix before quietly wishing him a good night and closing his eyes.

***

Felix woke up to Sylvain tossing and turning in bed, whimpering despite still being asleep. He looked at Sylvain, obviously worried about his lover but not quite sure what to do. He wanted to calm him down somehow, maybe even wake him up but Felix wasn't quite sure how to deal with someone having a nightmare.

He decided it would probably be best if he let Sylvain wake up on his own so he just tried to ignore it as best as he could for now. It didn't take much longer, however. With a sharp inhale and a sudden stop to his mumbling and whimpering Sylvain finally woke up.

"Sylvain...? Are you okay...?" Felix asked in a soft voice so he wouldn't startle the other. 
Sylvain didn't react at first, still seemingly processing whatever he'd just seen in his dream. Felix gently placed his hand on Sylvain's shoulder which caused Sylvain to finally snap back to reality.

He wasn't crying but his expression was one of pure terror. It hurt to see Sylvain like that.
"Do you want to talk about it...?" Felix offered.
Sylvain didn't answer, instead he just wrapped his arms around Felix' torso and buried his face in his chest. Felix could feel he was breathing faster than usual but he knew better than to pry so instead of asking any more questions he tenderly stroked Sylvain's hair.

Maybe it was sappy but Felix remembered how he'd always seen those movies where mothers would sing to their children to calm them down and how he'd always wished his mother could have done the same. He thought maybe now was the right time to sing for someone else.

As much as Felix loved listening to music or other people's singing, he didn't like singing to others himself. He didn't even really like his voice but if it could help getting Sylvain out of his current state it was probably worth a shot.

He began to quietly sing with a soft voice while still caressing the other's head. It was a song Annette once sang to him for when she was scared of something so it seemed fit for the current situation. Sylvain buried his face even deeper in Felix' chest but his breath seemed to steady after a while.

"Shhh, it's alright... I'm here with you, Sylvain..." Felix whispered.
Sylvain finally looked back at him, looking calmer than before.
"Thank you." he quitely replied.