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“And what possessed you during your live to think of this?” Sugizo didn’t sound mad or disgusted like Kyo thought he would. In all honesty, it was hard to tell what the older man felt right now. 

 

“I don’t know. But, it just feels like the right time to bring it up.” Kyo shifts on the bed, turning to his side to face Sugizo. Their eyes meet, and Sugizo offers him a calm smile. That’s always good, because it means his boyfriend doesn’t totally think he’s a gross pervert. 

 

“So the right time is.. after a tiresome live and before we go to bed?” Kyo shrugs, “Where did you get the idea anyway?”

 

“Porn.” Sugizo hums, like he expected that answer. When the older man doesn’t say anything, Kyo fills the silence himself, “It just looks so intense and the bottoms always seem like it’s the greatest thing ever. I want to try it.”

 

“Intense. Hm,” Sugizo turns to flick the switch on the lamp, fully coating the room in darkness, “I think I’m the wrong person to ask.”

 

“Bullshit. Why are you asking me to cheat on you?” Kyo lies back down flat, taking Sugizo’s hand in his own, “You’re intense when you want to be.” There’s another hum and more silence, with just the shuffle of their sheets as Sugizo adjusts his position to fall asleep.

 

“I’ll think about it.”

 

~

 

Sugizo is older than Kyo, and many times wiser, so his period of thinking things over stretch from days to weeks. The other man is infuriatingly good at hiding his emotions, so Kyo is never quite sure how he feels on the subject. They’re so different, as many colleagues and friends have pointed out, and it’s so blatantly obvious. Sugizo was always satisfied with the simple things in their sex life, and they’d probably still be fucking in missionary position if it weren’t for Kyo suggestion to change things up. Maybe this time, he asked to change things too much. 

 

His boyfriend wasn’t acting cold or anything to indicate that he was repulsed by Kyo’s suggestion. Just, silent. The topic hadn’t been mentioned between the two in the three weeks since the vocalist suggested it, it would almost seem if they had both forgotten about it. Kyo doesn’t prod Sugizo about whether he comfortable with the act, but every day he silently wishes that today would be the day they finally talk about it again. 

 

As the calendar tips over into the fourth week since their curt conversation, Sugizo approaches the topic the exact way Kyo had- before bed. 

 

Sugizo had spent the entire day out, despite having nothing scheduled work-wise. Kyo didn’t either, which he decided to spend almost all of it in front of his television set, a bit lonely truthfully. 

 

“Would you like to try it?” Sugizo has a book in his hand, propped up against the headboard. Kyo hadn't even properly dressed himself yet, fresh out of the shower. 

 

“What…” It took a second for it to dawn on him, causing his eyes to widen, “Oh. That. I meant it when I said it.” Kyo finishes drying off his hair, returning to the bathroom to hang up the towel and complete the rest of his routine. Sugizo doesn’t speak again until Kyo is in bed beside him.

 

“What day would you like to do it?” Kyo bring his hands up to his face, cringing. Sugizo, always the formal one. His boyfriend chuckles at Kyo’s reaction, “It gives us both some time to prepare.”

 

“You know my schedule already, though? I have a gap in between the last dates of the domestic tour and the American one. Choose a day.” Sugizo tugs down his glasses at that.

 

“No, this is your request. You decide the day.” He sounds almost authoritative about it. That’s new.

 

Kyo throws out a date, a few days after the domestic tour ends. Sugizo agrees to it. It’s a date.

 

~

 

In contrast to the waiting game before, it feels like barely any time has passed at all. Yet, as the four days between the end of the domestic tour and their date, Kyo almost forgets it is happening. Thankfully two days prior Kyo remembers, so he takes the proper steps to prepare and clean himself for it. He;s read up a fair bit on the internet about how to do it, though he repeats the steps the day before because he gets self conscious about his.. Insides. 

 

The day of, however, Kyo sheds his self consciousness. He can barely wait for the evening time for the act to occur, so impatient as ever, he calls Sugizo. It’s probably the earliest he’s ever called the other man, at 11 in the morning, and the voice on the other side is surprised he’s awake at such a time.

 

“I know you like to sleep in.” Sugizo is always so pure, the sweetness of his voice clashes with the depravity of Kyo’s request.

 

“Can you come over?” 

 

“We set a time and a date, so I don’t know why you would want me over sooner than that.” Sugizo teases, Kyo wrinkles his nose, displeased so far. 

 

“Maybe I don’t want to wait,” Kyo takes a breath, before doing something he never thought he would do. “I waited for almost four weeks for you to decide, and until the end of my tour. Come over early as my reward for being patient.” 

 

“Oh you poor baby. I do apologize for the tortuous process of making you wait, so I’ll indulge you this time. See you in,” Sugizo’s voice is light and sarcastic, but he takes the time to pull his phone away from his ear to check the time, so he obviously isn’t taking being facetious about this. “Thirty minutes, I supposed? Though if I rushed I could be a little sooner.” The line clicks off. Kyo is satisfied that his pleading succeeded. 

 

~

 

“You can just take your clothes off, I’ll set up the equipment.” The mention of equipment excites Kyo, especially with the bag that was tucked under Sugizo’s arm when he arrived. Kyo does so, stripping off bits and pieces of his clothing as the pair make their way back to his bedroom. He had spent the day at home, so there wasn’t much to take off. When they made it back, Kyo automatically just takes the standard position he had seen in porn videos before. Head down, ass up, in the middle of his bed so Sugizo could sit on it too. 

 

“You really want to get lube on your sheets?” Sugizo had set the bag on one side of the bed, before taking a seat on the edge, like he expected to get up.

 

“It will be okay.” Kyo felt exposed and awkward being the only one nude, but he just ignores it. He grabs one of the pillows to lay under his head, adjusting himself a little more. He can hear Sugizo unpacking various things behind him, but he doesn’t turn to look. 

 

Sugizo takes his time setting everything out, rehearsing the steps in his head. Glove first, apply lube, stretch Kyo, apply more lube, achieve all fingers, check how Kyo is feeling,allow time for him to relax,  keep going. All the steps as instructed to him by the online resources on exactly how to do it. Yet, going straight in with the glove and perfectly proportioned amounts of lube seemed clinical, not something he was doing because he loved his boyfriend. Though the materials were all perfectly within reach to begin, Sugizo took a different approach.

 

He laid one hand on Kyo’s hip, which makes the younger man jumped at the sudden contact, but he relaxes into it. Sugizo uses his thumb to rub small strokes into Kyo’s skin, before moving down, past his ass and down to his thigh. His fingers run past ink, art permanently etched into his lovers’ skin. There’s two or three on the back of his thigh, and they were all the one he had gotten since they began dating. It was their thing together. Though not each piece of work was not ‘for’ one another in the traditional sense, but each experience they accompanied one another through the entire process of getting a tattoo, from deciding on what work to get to aftercare. It was an activity that rewarded both of them.

 

Sugizo adjusted Kyo’s legs eventually, spreading them a bit wider than they were before.

 

“Do you still want to do this?” Sugizo slipped the black gloves onto both of his hands, which was similar to the ones he had seen a million and one times at the tattoo shop. Kyo responds with a quick jerk of his head ‘yes.’  “Safeword?”

 

“I don’t need one. If I tell you to stop, you’ll stop.” Sugizo’s heart skips a beat at that. All of it is almost too much to handle for him. Again and again Kyo has reiterated just how much he trusts Sugizo, how he knows that the older man wouldn’t hurt him. It takes his breath away, that he can’t even formulate a response, just starting away with opening him up. 

 

The first two fingers go with ease, since that was normally as far as their preparation goes anyway. The third is when Sugizo finally gets a bit of a response from Kyo, a soft moan from him when the violinist’s fingers so gently tease his prostate. He didn’t mean to, it just happened. Happened often enough to cause Kyo’s cock to grow hard, but not enough for him to cum yet. The fourth finger takes longer, with younger man taking minutes at a time to adjust. When it finally comes to Sugizo’s thumb, and thus the rest of his hand, Kyo is more than ready to take it. Sugizo lubes up as much as his arm as he thinks he can fit. 

 

“You can go ahead with the whole thing.” It’s the first time Kyo has spoken in a long while, thought it’s almost out of exasperation. 

 

“I don’t want to hurt you.” 

 

“You won’t.” Sugizo takes a deep breath, before applying even more lube to his wrist and Kyo’s hole, before sliding in as slow as possible. It’s amazing how much of his arm seems to disappear into his lover, and he can’t help but just think about how deep he is inside of Kyo right now. When Kyo’s breath begins to hike, is when Sugizo directs his attention back to the mans face, how little he can see of it. He stills his arm, his heart caught in his throat. “No! Keep going.” Kyo’s voice is desperate, and it takes Sugizo a second to the situation in. Kyo has his hand around his cock, tugging at it like his life depends on it. “Go, please. Sugi please, I need it.” His words run together, his desperation and need evident in how his voice hikes in volume, so close to his orgasm yet so far. Sugizo resumes his arm’s slow descent into Kyo’s body, with the vocalists words lifting from begging to yelling to melodic vocal runs that make no sense to either of them. 

 

Just when Sugizo’s arm reaches his elbow, deeper than he ever thought it ever could- Kyo’s voice lifts almost to a scream, something Sugizo has only seen in the most intense emotional moments on stage, as he reaches his orgasm, spilling all over his hand and stomach. 

 

“Thank you.” Kyo can barely ride out his orgasm before the words spill out of his mouth, and it takes Sugizo a moment to realize- Kyo is crying.