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Dissociated Moments in Time

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Blurry...everything was just so, fuzzy as if he wasn’t actually there. Getting into college, wasn’t that supposed to be a good thing? But the consequences that come with it make it hard to seem nice to Peter. His friends are in schools that feel even farther away than they probably are, he’s taking a break from Spider-Man because it’d be too suspicious if Spider-Man was to leave Queens and be in Cambridge. It’s would only be a matter of time before his identity was discovered and Mr. Stark hadn’t wanted him to risk it.

The professor keeps droning on and he doesn’t even remember what class he’s in. Physics? He probably needs these notes, he didn’t do as well as he expected on his last test and he needs to keep his grades up because if Mr. Stark asks how he’s doing he can’t lie and then Mr. Stark will know how much of a failure he is and oh- God, this was a mistake he should probably be doing something about this, but his senses are just-dull.

It honestly feels nice for once, everything not being at 11, its at 6, maybe 5? It’s hard to concentrate. He hears the girls sitting next to him, whispering while the professor talks. He glances outside and watches as a guy carrying an uncooked thing of bacon walks by the window. He wants to know why, it seems way more interesting than what is going on in front of him, and the disinterest in science scares him in a way it hadn’t before.

Science used to be everything, what happened?

The class ends and Peter realizes that the same disinterest never leaves him as he packs his things and heads out. He doesn’t really comprehend the reasons behind it, can barely acknowledge his own desire to just not care, but it’s enough of a warning. He wants to do something about it, knows that whatever is causing this tired zombie walk through life is a problem, but he doesn’t know how. His phone buzzes almost as soon as he gets to his dorm.

TS: You done with classes, kiddo?

Peter’s finger hovers over the keyboard on the Stark phone and his hesitance seems to be an invitation, or maybe FRIDAY has just pulled up Peter’s schedule for Mr. Stark because the next thing Peter knows his phone is ringing.

“Hey kiddo, Morguna and I are looking for a road trip this weekend, and little squirt keeps insisting that Cambridge is the destination of the season, so are you up to see us?”

Mr. Stark is like that, always. Diving head-first into the conversation barely waiting for Peter to even pick up the phone. Peter isn’t certain on what his response should be, he hears Morgan whine something on the other side of the phone and he should be studying this weekend. He has a couple of research papers he needs to work on and it’d be hard if-

“Pete?”

Honestly, he doesn’t want Morgan and Mr. Stark to come to Cambridge. He wants to go back to New York so bad it’s painful. He misses lab days when science was fun, Mr. Delmar’s subs, May… Cambridge just isn’t home and even though Mr. Stark wanted him to and he was so excited, Peter just wants a break.

“Can I-”

How does he ask this, how can he word this without feeling selfish, Mr. Stark already gave him so much. Asking to go home just feels awful, especially when the tower isn’t supposed to feel like home. He should be wanting to go see May at the apartment, but the feeling of spending time with Mr. Stark, be it at the lake house or the compound or the tower… It just makes his chest hurt. Something must convey that in the little Peter said because the other side of the line is silent, a door closes in the background. Pepper’s voice comes on the phone instead and Peter doesn’t know how she even knows what he wants, but she does. It’s like mom-magic or something.

“Do you want to come here, Pete? I can get Happy to pick you up and bring you back before your classes Monday.”

And everything feels better, not 100%, but the haze fades away a bit. Peter feels childish, winter break is only a month and a half away, he saw everyone just recently during Fall break, but he can’t help the breathless “yeah” that confirms his wishes.

“Alright, pack your bags, Happy will send you an ETA soon.”