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i guess this is goodbye

Chapter Text

Izuku was tired. So so tired. But he had to push through for Kacchan, for his ex-best friend. He had to show Kacchan that he was better, that he was okay. This was his last show in Japan, the last time he'd see Kacchan for awhile. So he had to make it count. No matter how tired he was. He took a bit of modafinil to wake himself up. He grabs his guitar, takes a deep breath and prepares himself. Intermission will be over in about five minutes. A couple of songs left and he would be gone, for a long time. 

"Deku you ready?" Uraraka all but shouts. Which does nothing to calm his growing nerves. Her smile is bright enough to rival his usual one. "You're gonna kill it! I just know you are!" One would think that her excitement would rub off on him but it just made even more nervous. 

"Midoriya, intermission is over." Ilda peeks into the dressing room. Izuku responds with a slight nod. He bounces on his toes and flashes Uraraka his million-watt smile.

"Let's do this!" The crowd cheers as he runs onto the stage his green hair bouncing with him. "Are you guys enjoying yourself so far?!" All he gets are unintelligible shouts as a response. "So, this next song is a little slower. I wrote it when I came to terms with my feelings for someone but unfortunately, I was a little late. Without further ado, I present 'i think you're really cool'!" 

A voicemail plays over the speakers, Izuku is heard speaking.

Hey, it's, it's just me again and I.. I wanted to call you, and share a song that I'm working on, but I... I guess you're busy so call me back when you get a chance.. ah..yeah; huh...
I love you, bye

Izuku then begins to strum his guitar an unreadable emotion on his face. His eyes find Katsuki's in an instant out of habit, but it's just a reminder that Katsuki isn't alone this time. He has Eijirou or E as Katsuki likes to call him. Izuku shifts his gaze somewhere else. He locks eyes with some sleep-deprived kid with wild purple hair. He flashes a small smile. The boy blushes at the attention but keeps his eyes locked with Izuku.

This song brings on the weather, teardrops upon my sweater

I cry in bed whenever, I see you guys together

Then his gaze shifts back to Katsuki. This time Katsuki looks him in the eye and all is right, or as right as it could be. Izuku doesn't know why he feels this way, he knows that it's wrong but what did Eijirou have that he doesn't? Why didn't Kacchan choose him? 

Fuck love it's all a lie, I, can't sleep I'd rather die

Than see that look in your eye

It sucks that I'm not your guy, but

Izuku being the emotional person he is, feels tears pricking at his eyes. Why was he not enough for Kacchan? He tore his gaze from the blond and instead focused on a pair of heterochromatic eyes. The soft smile on the other boy's face calmed Izuku, helped him will his tears away. Performing this song was harder then he thought it would be.

I think you're really cool like
I think you're really cool like
Yeah, I think you're really cool like
Yeah, I think you're really cool like

Growing up Izuku repeated those words countless times. 'So cool Kacchan! You're really cool! That was really really cool Kacchan!' And Katsuki ate it up every time until Eijirou came around. After Eijirou became friends with Kacchan Izuku's praise meant nothing to Katsuki. Nothing at all. So Izuku distanced himself from the two, made his own friends as they grew up. Until Katsuki noticed, then they fought. It almost became a fistfight until of course, Eijirou broke it up. And only Eijirou could calm Katsuki down, Izuku couldn't anymore. That was the day everything ended between the two males. 

I packed my bags last week, sunrise and I'm on my feet
Let's skip town and chase our dreams, 'cause this place ain't what it seems, so

Izuku was ready to leave. To chase his dreams, he was going to go live in America to gain a bigger fan base. To kinda start from scratch. When the news spread to Katsuki he wasn't happy. His exact words were: 'Are you running away nerd?' And maybe Izuku was but that's fine. He can do whatever he wants. He was running. Running from Katsuki. Running from Eijirou. Running from his feelings. Running away had always been his forte so why stop now? 

Come home, let's synchronize, my, soft lips caress your thighs
You, get me so fucking high, the, voices in my head collide, and

The boy with the eyes, Izuku knows him. He knows him a little too well. That boy, Shouto, had been looking for a reason to piss his dad off and Izuku just so happened to be in the area. They stumbled into the Todoroki household and giggled as they tried to quietly make it to Shouto's room. The faint scent of weed rubbing onto the furniture that they bumped into. Both boys were high as the moon but couldn't seem to bring themselves to care. So they went to Shouto's room to forget. To forget the trauma, the heartbreak, and everything in between. Needless to say, Shouto's dad was pissed to high heaven when he found them that morning.

I think you're really cool like (I think you're really cool like)
I think you're really cool like (I think you're really cool like)
Yeah, I think you're really cool like (I think you're really cool like)
Yeah, I think you're really cool like

The song is nearing the end and Izuku feels so much better. He feels enlightened. Who needs Kacchan anyway? Izuku was his own man, he could do whatever he pleased. But he knew after this concert that all those feelings would come crashing down again and he wasn't ready. He would never be ready and that was alright. He didn't need to be. He just needed to get through today, so he could never see Katsuki again. So his feelings could disappear. Then he would finally be happy.

Another voicemail came over the speakers but this time there is a guitar behind Izuku's voice.

(Beep)
Keep your voice down, he don't care no
I can't breathe I've got no air, no sympathy for my despair
I cut my wrists and grow my hair
I'm outta my mind (Out of my mind, yeah)
I'm outta my mind (Out of my mind, yeah, yeah)
I think I'm outta my mind
I think I'm outta my mind
I think I'm outta my mind
I think I'm outta my mind
I think I'm outta my mind

Izuku smiles at the crowd as the song ends. He locks eyes with Katsuki one last time. "I hope you all enjoyed that song! Thank you so much for coming to my last show here for a while! I'll be back soon with new music so keep an ear out! I love you all, have a good night everyone!" Izuku ran backstage to clean up. And is greeted by four faces. The first being Urataka, the second Shouto, and the other two Katsuki and Eijirou. Izuku stiffened at the sight of the two holding hands but the tension left his shoulders when Shouto placed a gentle hand on him. 

"Izu-chan, good job out there. But I'm still upset you're leaving me, now who'll help me piss my father off?" Izuku laughed at Shouto's antics and gave him a soft smile.

"Don't worry Shoucchan! I can still piss your dad off over the phone." Shouto's face was adorned with a small smile and nods his head in confirmation. He turns to leave but Izuku grabs his wrist his eyes begging Shouto to stay. 

"Deku. You didn't fuck up like I thought you would. But don't think I'm complimenting you or some shit 'cus it was still bad." Katsuki's words hung in silence for a few moments. Until Eijirou spoke too. 

"Yeah! That last song was super awesome, you're so manly to be able to talk about your feelings so publicly!" It made Izuku feel bad. It made him feel so shitty because here he was hating Eijirou for his own selfish reasons, what kind of person was he becoming?

"Thanks, Eijirou, and thanks Kac- Katsuki. It means a lot." Uraraka whispered something in his ear about having to leave soon. "I'm really sorry but we've gotta go. It was nice seeing you guys again. I'll call you before and after I land, alright Shoucchan?" Shouto simply nodded before departing with a soft hug. Izuku was really going to miss this place. But as he said, he'd be back sooner or later. He'd be back and he would be a new man.

Chapter Text

2 years had passed since that concert. And Izuku had grown. He got an undercut and bulked up a bit, Japan was absolutely smitten. Everyone including Bakugou Katsuki. This fact annoyed Eijirou to his core. Especially since Izuku had admitted to having a major crush on Katsuki in his earlier years. Eijirou knew that he shouldn't worry but he couldn't help it. He knew that Izuku had always meant a lot to Katsuki, so that's why they were standing at the venue where Izuku was about to perform. Eijirou just nodded at everything Katsuki said waiting for the event to end already. Finally, the lights dimmed and Izuku ran onto the stage.

"Hey everyone! Thank you for coming out tonight it means a lot!" The crowd screamed in response as Izuku flashed a smile. "This first song is dedicated to someone very close to me! I hope that he made it tonight so he can hear it." The fond smile on Izuku's face alarmed Eijirou, what if it was Katsuki? "Here's Video Games!"

Swinging in the backyard
Pull up in your fast car

Whistling my name

The background noise of someone shouting 'Izuku hurry up!' as they're laughing plays as Izuku sings. The memory is so odd to both Eijirou and Katsuki, why didn't they remember this? Were they more distant then they thought?

Open up a beer
And you say get over here
And play a video game

The boys sat on the floor laughing with each sip of beer. The Super Smash Bros music in the background. 'Izuku?' 'Mm?' 'Thanks for being there.' 'Always'. The video in the background fades, no faces could be seen but it was clear that they were in America. The shouts of angry drivers could be heard from outside. This clip left the audience in the wonder of who this mystery boy was. Katsuki was the most confused, because why didn't Deku tell him about mystery boy? Was Katsuki no longer that important in his life?

I'm in his favorite outfit
Watching me get undressed
Take that body downtown

Downtown Los Angeles is shown. The two boys walking hand in hand. The clips cut back and forth between Izuku trying on different outfits. 'Wait.' Izuku stops. He's wearing a blue All Might shirt, a yellow industrial belt, and glasses. 'That's my favorite.' the voice says. Izuku smiles and goes back into the dressing room. Then it shows the boy buying the outfit. After the video Izuku has that fond smile again. It makes Katsuki's blood boil. How dare that nerd not tell him anything? Why was he finding out with the rest of these extras? The two were going to have a long talk after the show.

I say you're the bestest
Lean in for a big kiss
Put his favorite perfume on
Go play your video games...

There's no video for this, instead, there is just audio. 'Muahh' 'Disgusting.' 'How dare you say that about my kisses?! I'll have you executed!' This was followed by loud laughter. A blush is visible on Izuku's face to only those in front. 

It's you, it's you, it's all for you;
Everything I do!
I tell you all the time:

'I'm gonna miss you.' 'Don't worry, I'll see you soon. Promise.' A pinky finger is held out, Izuku links his own into it. 'Promise' The video fades. Eijirou is confused because who was this person? And if he meant so much to Izuku why didn't either of the two know? They were all childhood friends so why didn't they know anything about Izuku's life outside of interviews?

Heaven is a place on Earth with you
Tell me all the things you wanna do
I heard that you like the bad boys, Honey!
And is that true?
It's better than I ever even knew
They say that the world was built for two
Only worth living if somebody is loving you
And, Baby, now you do

'Run!' The heavy breathing of two people is heard. 'Hurry up idiot!' Mystery boy is heard laughing as the blue and red lights flash behind the two. These past two years of his life had been a blast. Everything seemed to lighten up after he moved. He met new people who didn't know his past and that made it so much easier to fall in love.

Singing in the old bars
Swinging with the old stars
Living for the fame
Kissing in the blue dark
Playing pool and wild darts--
Video games

'Fuck it up babe!' The person behind the camera yells, Izuku is seen on the stage perform but blushes at the person recording. The video cuts to Izuku playing pool at a rundown bar and laughing with a group of people. 'Hey, babe.' 'Mm?' 'I love you' Izuku's face turns so red that he could rival a strawberry. 'I-i-i love you too' This is the video that shocks the duo the most. What else didn't they know? Were they that caught up in themselves that they couldn't even ask what was going on with Izuku? That couldn't be the problem because Izuku was the one that left, the one that ran. It couldn't be their fault. Right?

He holds me in his big arms
Drunk and I am seeing stars
This is all I think of
Watching all our friends fall
In and out of Old Paul's
This is my idea of fun;
Playing video games

Izuku laughs his cheeks dusted pink. 'Yochan, kiss me.' A low chuckle comes from behind the camera but the person complies with Izuku's wishes. A fit of giggles is heard and then full-on laughter. 'I hope this never ends.' Izuku is smiling so wide as a person is lead up to the stage. He has spiky black hair that could rival Katsuki's, narrow hazel eyes, and a bright smile to match Izuku's. The realization hit Katsuki like a truck, they didn't know about him because Deku didn't want them to. This man meant more to him than Katsuki. 

Izuku finished up the song with Yo at his side the bright smiles never leaving their faces. Katsuki watched with a heavy heart. Why did this hurt so much? It wasn't like he was crushing on the nerd, so why? Why was he upset over someone he had never wanted, someone that moved on?