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Hold on to me

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(No beta reader :'(  but I tried)

Taehyung doesn't know what to feel after all the chaos that messed up his life. If he knew all of this would be the consequence of loving a guy in his college, he would have refrained himself from taking any steps further than flirting. Nevertheless, he did what he wanted to and now even after all the problems that ensued after his decision, he doesn't regret any of it. He doesn't regret falling for Jungguk. Because loving Jungguk was something so easy and inborn, that he had to fall for him eventually. Jungguk loves him to the moon and back, he doubts if any other person can ever love him so much.

It's not like Taehyung had never been in a relationship before, he might have indulged in two or three high school romances but they never felt like loving Jungguk. The passion that they have for each other is rare and agonizing. Jungguk is the best thing that happened to his life.

But the hardships that Taehyung is facing right now is breaking his back. Even with the immense love that he has for Jungguk, he has to leave him.

Jungguk lied to him. Jungguk lied about his profession, about his family about his background. He was a heir destined to lead an underground mafia organization. A young hooded guy who always came to his college frat parties and never attended a class, intrigued him since he laid his eyes upon him, Taehyung never doubted anything about him, he never felt anything odd about it. And also the tale didn't remain one-sided, Jungguk soon became interested too. The only mistake Taehyung did was assume - assume that the boy might be in his college and not some hier to a mafia organization.

Taehyung agrees to his dad, he promised him to never meet Jungguk again, he promised that he would move on. The lie that Jungguk fragmented one after another should face a consequence, so here it was - breaking up. Taehyung was shattered when he came to know about the truth that night. He had been visiting this club every weekend to spend time with Jungguk who he thought was a regular customer, but never imagined him to be the owner of it. That night when Taehyung went to visit him, he was nabbed by a seething tall bulky guy, who was leaving the cabin where Taehyung always met Jungguk. The man was about to strangle him, spitting on his face as he said
"You are his whore, huh. I'mma kill you and see what your lover does."
Lords were his side that day as Jungguk came out of the cabin, he was raging with anger when he saw Taehyung was held by his neck. Taehyung doesn't remember anything after that. Next day when he woke up, Jungguk was by his side and that was the time when Taehyung decided to leave quietly, he could get his answers later.

Taehyung had shut himself in his room, darkness brooding over he could only think about the Good times. His phone was flooded with calls and messages. Phone calls were easy to ignore but messages weren't. Messages were difficult to read because Jungguk had his heart and soul on convincing Taehyung, talking about clearing things out. But Taehyung needed time. The memories of their time spent together, sleeping in each other's arms, in empty classrooms, library, park, in the club and even in hotel rooms were making a comeback in his dreams. They were difficult to escape.

Now Taehyung realised why Jungguk never called him over, he gets now why he always changed their topic when Taehyung asked about his home. Also, Jungguk never attended classes and would break into college security to meet him which sums up the reason why Jungguk always hid from the staffs and securities.

All of these lies and secrets were too much for him. Taehyung needed time to grasp all the lies that Jungguk told him, to accept the fact that their moments were built on those lies. But the most important thing to grasp was to accept the fact that Jungguk belonged to the mafia. Taehyung was the son of the reputed Mayor of Seoul for fuck's sake. He was born in a family where morality runs in their blood, he was taught to be right, he was taught to fight against immorality. Loving a mafia heir might be the worst decision that Taehyung took unknowingly but he didn't think the same. Even with all the crazy scenarios, he doesn't know why his heart still belonged to Jungguk.

When Taehyung continued his college after shutting down for weeks, things went down right from there. The moment Jungguk came to know about Taehyung returning to college, he guarded the college like a dog, waiting for an opportunity to talk to Taehyung. Taehyung kept on ignoring Jungguk's advances, not wanting any complications thereafter. Both were unaware of the fact that Taehyung's father was keeping an eye on him after getting suspicious of Taehyung's behaviour for past few weeks.

Taehyung's father soon came to know about it and confronted his son, asking about the involvement with the wanted criminal. Taehyung cried that day, sobbing on to his father's chest as he told about falling in love with a criminal unknowingly. His father felt bad for him, knowing how he was lied, how he was betrayed by Jungguk. Taehyung's father decided to drop Taehyung from college altogether, preparing to send him abroad stealthy. It had been a month since Taehyung was locked down in his house, he wasn't allowed to contact any of his friends as Jungguk might be stalking him like a mad man. Taehyung accepted his fate as it was. He agreed to his father, agreed on going to the college his dad selected for him.

It was all going good according to his dad, until this morning when a troupe of black uniform-clad men with guns barged in their house. Taehyung didn't know anything about it, he was bathing when the attack took place. When Taehyung came out in his pyjamas, hair wet from the shower, he heard a series of loud banging on his door. It was strange to hear someone bang on his door because if anybody wanted to contact him, they could have contacted him via security cam installed in his room. But Taehyung had no time to think about anything as the door collapsed with a bang, making way for a muscular masked man to enter his room. Before Taehyung could react to any of the situation he was bombarded with, he was dragged by his arm to the SUV waiting few metres away from the bungalow. Taehyung had only seen his parents held on gunpoint, glasses shattered on the floor, couch drilled in holes, as he was told in a whisper by the man that
"I won't kill them."
And Taehyung got his answers that his eyes were asking for.

In the car, sitting at the corner of his seat, Taehyung kept on caressing the arm where he was held tight. He was lost in thoughts, looking out of the window.

"I'm.....I'm sorry." The masked man caressed Taehyung's arm softly, realising his bruising hold on Taehyung earlier.

Taehyung looked at those eyes, face devoid of any emotions.

"You know my dad won't forgive you, he'll call KNP and detectives on you."

"I don't care, as long as I have you, I don't care."

"Gukkie." The emotions that those eyes held were enough for Taehyung. He dragged the mask down to his chin hastily as he kissed him. The kiss burning with passion just like their love. He could feel those same soft lips that kissed daylights out of him for months. The same hold on his nape, same fingers digging in his skin on his hip, the same pull of his hair, the same devotion that it had. Taehyung might go insane from the love it has, the love that was going to burn both lovers in their flaming passion. Jungguk must have missed him damn much for not letting him go. After their passionate kiss, Jungguk kept on kissing Taehyung's crown every minute until they reached their destination, as Taehyung wrapped himself on Jungguk.

When the night came in, the two men were laying on their bed in their naked glory. Jungguk missed Taehyung too much and that could be understood by the way Jungguk kept on caressing his lips. It was after their third round when both were exhausted to the core, the silence basked in. Taehyung was staring at the window as the street light seeped through the curtains drawn in and Jungguk kept on kissing the bruise on his arm softly to not hurt him more.

"I'm sorry." Jungguk kept on giving Taehyung open mouth kisses, right from the arm to his neck and finally nuzzled his face in his neck, taking in the scent.
"Why did you not scream when I pointed the gun at you?" Jungguk's voice was muffled, he didn't dare to look into his eyes, Jungguk realizes that he did many things wrong, but he doesn't regret any of it because everything leads to only one consequence and that was having Taehyung by his side. 

"Don't ask me that. I don't know either."

"Tae."

"I don't know why I still love you when all you did was lie."

"Tae... I'm sorry babe. I should have said you everything. But I was scared. I was so scared to lose you. I knew you would leave me the moment you come to know about me. I understand from which family you belong, Tae. I know how you feel about people like us. You would have never seeked for me if I had ever disclosed you about me."

"Yes, I wouldn't have looked for you."

"And I was selfish. I still wanted you to be mine. You were the only thing that kept me sane all these months."

Taehyung could only stare at him, eyes streaming with tears and filled with emotions that flooded him all these days living without him.

"I'm selfish for wanting you, I am horrible to keep you like even though you don't need me. I feel sick Tae. I feel so disgusting to bring you like this at my home."

"Ggukkie." Taehyung cupped his cheeks softly, Jungguk never broke down in front of him, only if Taehyung knew that he cried every night, every moment remembering Taehyung all those weeks.

"I...just wanted you, Just wanted you to love me. I don't want to be alone now Tae, now that I got a taste of love, the taste of your love. You make me complete, you make me a human that I wasn't, until I met you."

Taehyung kissed his tears softly, making Jungguk close his eyes and have this moment to him.

"You know right how rude I was when we first met. I would always try to ignore you, and you would be at my back telling me how ridiculous I was being. I never felt any emotions until I met you. You taught me how to feel these emotions, how to express them, you made me a person I never thought I would be. Tell me how could I lose you Tae, how could I lose a person that makes me humane."

"Don't lose me then. I don't know myself either if I could ever leave without you."

"Babe yell at me for what I have done. Punish me, I deserve all of it."

"Did you miss me all these days?"

"Like crazy... I can't even breathe..."

"So consider that was your punishment. I don't want to punish myself by leaving you. I want this, I want you, only you."

It's been a month. A month after the horrendous night of bloodshed where a dozen of policemen were killed. A faceoff with an underground mafia organization had cost many lives of the policemen and commuters. It was the same night when Taehyung was "kidnapped" by a suspicious gang. Taehyung's father left no stones unturned to bring back his son, unknown of the fact that it was his son who agreed to elope with the criminal to another country. When the couple were cornered before they could reach Jungguk's private helipad, Taehyung was caught between his lover and his father. He still remembers that disgusted expression his father had when he saw their intertwined hands. Before the bullet could reach Jungguk, Taehyung had taken the bullet for him. And the last words that Taehyung managed to speak were

"I love you."

Jungguk had cried on his chest, begging him to not go. And Taehyung didn't. He was saved, they managed to elope the country all credits to Taehyung's rage-filled lover who didn't show mercy on people coming his way.

Right after a month, Taehyung in his black Mercedes car is heading to the venue. Dressed in a simple off white shirt, a locket of his soon-to-be husband with an initial TK glistening on his skin, Taehyung was nervous and excited too. His palms were sweating, Jungguk might have already reached the wedding venue, he was late as usual. Taehyung clearly remembers that night, he was shot and had passed out. The moment he opened his eyes on a hospital bed, Jungguk was the first one to bless his eyes, and

"Marry me please."

Were the first words to bless his ears. Taehyung noticed how distraught Jungguk was, it was clear that they both couldn't leave without each other, they had fallen deeply in love and now there was no going back.

When Taehyung reaches to the venue,  he sees him, at the altar. Jungguk had tears in his eyes with a smile so bright that could light up his whole life, Taehyung knew why he fell in love with this person. Vows were exchanged, they were announced as husbands and the kiss -
The kiss was soft, wet cheeks touching as Taehyung pressed his hand on Jungguk's chest where his heart lies, guarded with words -

Hold on to me when I sway with the wind.


And nothing was more beautiful than that.