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Sabers ruin everything

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Somewhere in the depths of Chaldea, a sewing machine could be heard.

“This year will be the best yet! Pumpkins - no, that’s been done - adventure - who wants that again - robots - did that - ninja - overdone, pirates? Pirates! I’ll show that Drake that she’s not the only one who can plunder treasure! Boobs aren’t the only charm point a star can have!

Humming along to a song she made up as she went, Liz continued working through the night. That her room in Chaldea was further to the side of everyone else’s was no accident, at least after the fourth “impromptu concert” in the middle of the night some of the other servants had complained of. No matter, all the easier for her to surprise everyone with her stunning skill and immaculate stage presence! It was no fun if everyone around her got to hear previews before Preview Night! Creativity blossomed in isolation! No interruptions! Aside from being drawn out for missions, but she could never fault Ritsuka for that. They were the whole reason she was doing this! Someone had to keep the autumn season lively, after all! Summer was so cram-packed with everyone clamoring for events and outings that the drama practically wrote itself, and spring and winter had plenty of different traditions, but the stretch between summer and winter everyone started to get restless, and she refused to be showed up by that red-clad imposter! She didn’t even really perform! Just made everyone fight for her enjoyment! Who did that? Liz knew she was the only true professional in Chaldea, and as such, it fell to her to provide the sort of event the masses were clamoring for!

She smiled to herself as she added another row of gold spangles to the shoulders of the coat she was sewing. Her previous performance outfits hung behind her, inspiring her to reach for more, like any good artist should. This year would really outshine all the rest! No one would forget it!

Then, from down the hall, the cry came up. “They’re back! The ships from Planet Saber are back! Everyone to your positions, set up preparations! We’re in for a fight!”

Damn them! Damn all the sabers, she must have been out of her mind that year she tried to be one! Who need them? Who wants them! Go back to your home planet! That was it, this year, she’d be an archer and show them! This meant war!