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Thick With Honey But I've Lost My Taste

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Your pink dress and falling pigtails were covered in mud, having been pushed by Henry Bowers for telling him his hair was as long as yours. You didn't mean it as an insult just you noticed and thought it was cool. He did not like it himself saying you were calling him a girly bitch when you started crying. You weren't upset with him just that you knew your mother was going to be livid by the new dress being ruined.

Walking home with a heavy cloud over your head you kicked the little pebbles that scattered the path. Derry was always a gloomy place deep down but the nice weather and school starting brought some positive feeling among the 3rd graders even with the constant bullying of 5th graders. You think more about the upcoming year excited to learn new things and have a new teacher.

The sound of an opening door brought you out of your thoughts seeing your neighbor, The infamous 6th grader Patrick leaving his house. You smiled bright and waved to him. He looked your way and gave you that signature smirk, but you didn't think much of it as a young 8 year old you just thought it was cool to be friends with an older kid, though Patrick didn't think of you being a friend much, just another person that bothers him.

“Hey Patrick how was your first day? Is the middle school as big as it looks?”
He glanced up and down noticing the ruined scrambles of the dress she wore to church last Sunday, shame really it seemed to be expensive.

“I don't talk to pigs, maybe if you didn't play in mud id answer”

“Oh! I wasn't playing in the mud silly I haven't done that since like 1st grade”

“Then what happened to you?”

“I told Henry his hair was as long as mine and he pushed me into the mud”

“Figures,maybe now you know to think before you speak”

“Oh yeah i sure do now, I know daddy is going to give me a beating once he finds out”

“Hmm well then” he then left the front yard going in the direction of the forever growing junkyard. You watched him leave for a minute but then knew your fate was already set going inside to meet your parents inevitable wrath.

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Starting 6th grade you were terrified. All your elementary friends leaving you for their own cliques thus having spent the summer alone. The first day was dedicated to just the 6th graders so they can learn the hallways and where their classes are. Not excited to be back into bowers gang territory you hoped you can avoid them.

Henry was said to be brutal and show no mercy. Him and Reggie would skateboard around town and tear things up beating up anyone who said anything to adults. You had no idea what to expect but the building wasn't that big, you never really got your answer from Patrick all those years ago. The building smelled like your Grandmas house, old and breaking of chemical cleaners. The teachers seemed fine themselves energized for the new year and new faces. But you dreaded tomorrow, knowing the Older kids would be excited to pick on fresh meat.

Your walk home uneventful but happy for the shorter distance.seeing Patrick hanging out his window you shoot him a wave and smile. Wanting to say hello out loud to him you were interrupted by Henry bowers voice behind you.

“Looks like lil (y/n) has a crush on Patrick, you gonna hold his hand when you go to school tomorrow huh?” Henry had you surrounded with him at your front, Reggie to your right, and what looked to be Vic but now blonde on your left.

“No Henry hes just my neighbor it's rude not to greet someone when you see them.” you could feel tears prick your eyes already off to a bad start.

“Oh really now, would you be upset if I didn't greet you every time I saw you?”

“Well maybe you never really greeted me before Henry so i wouldn't know.” you tried your best to not let the tears fall down your cheeks as you heard Reggie release a deep laugh besides you.

“Well it looks like I’ll have to start saying hey whenever I see you then.”
Realizing your mistake you stared wide eyed at the taller boy. But then the sound of the front door closing turned all your heads to Patrick.

“I'm bored of this lets go to the junkyard and throw some shit around.” he said starting to leave the group they all followed him like line of ducks but Henry stayed behind for one last word.

“Bye (y/n) I'll see you at school tomorrow.” you run into your house and began bawling knowing you probably made your biggest mistake of your life today. You then began making yourself a snack knowing you still had a few pages to finish and have your parents sign before tomorrow. Sighing you flop on your bed replaying the terrible events of the day.

The next day you woke up bitter, only eating a piece of toast before you wore your most bland clothes hoping to hide in the crowds from Henry. Looking out the front window hoping Patrick has either left already or is not planning on leaving anytime soon you rush out your door. The walk to school brought warm weather and peaceful lighting. Wishing you could just drag it a little longer but knowing you would be late you take just a second to appreciate the green leaves waving high above your head and birds singing to each other in harmonious tones. Really dreading to soon enter the building you hold your breath.
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You managed to make it till lunch without seeing the ugly mullet of the angry soon to be teen. Your thoughts drifted to the gang while you waited in line for your share of whatever slug they made that day. It looked like since they were in 5th grade Henry and Reggie added two more to the group. Vic was a complete surprise he was a well off rich boy who did dance and acting, seeing him hanging out with the town bullies was interesting. Patrick had always been a loner, especially considering he was held back in 4th grade and then again in the 6th, being 2 years older than everyone in your grade kinda made you an outsider. You tried to be his friend but he seemed bored easily always leaving you with unanswered questions.
You knew as kids his parents would bring him over when you were young but his 4 year age gap was too much for you to really play with him or anything.

After your slop was giving to you, you looked around the crowded cafeteria for a seat. Huffing you realize the tables were full. Deciding outside was your best option you leave the large doors leading to the football field. Finding a shady tree you eat mostly just picking at the mush before you. You then felt a shiver run down your spine and the feeling of being watched. To afraid to look behind you you look forward keeping your hands busy. You hear their laughter realizing Henry at least hasn't noticed you.

Taking shallow breaths you peek behind you and see Patrick staring directly at you. You give a nervous smile and the lanky 14 year old shoot his signature one back. Seeing the smile set even more shivers around your body, there was something different about it. Holding the only emotion you can see on his face you know it's one of evil. Turning around quickly you hear Henry shout you name.

“Hey (y/n) how's your second day of middle school?” he holds the same look Patrick did but not nearly as creepy none the less you shift a little before looking at him again.

“I-its okay im just not used to it I guess” He lowers himself to your level smiling at you again.

“Eating all by yourself, does lil (y/l/n) not have any friends?” Vic releases a high pitched cackle besides you. Nervously you try and think of a lie but none come to you, staring at Henry tears began to fill your vision.

“Well they just are busy with class things and learning and teachers you know.” Henry fakes a pout at you moving in closer.

“Awe (y/n) I really don't like liars but I’ll let it pass if you tell the truth to me” he rubs a tear off your cheeks and then llicks his thumb. You want to throw up the sight truly setting fear in your stomach. You give Patrick pleading eyes but he looks more involved than Henry himself. You take a deep breathe after a hiccup.

“No Henry I don't have any friends they all left me when school ended.” You felt another wave of tears coming as he just stared down at you with fake sympathy.

“Well ain't that a shame isn't it boys?”
They all let out a grunt besides Patrick he leans down on your level matching Henry.

“Well you know we could always use an extra friend, maybe a nice feminine touch would be nice.” Henry looked at the taller boy next to him then looking back at you. The bell rings and the boys move to let you shoot off to the doors hiding your blotchy tear soaked face.

“Patrick shes fucking ten I don't wanna hang out with some ten year old. I was just fucking with her.”

“You don't understand now Henry but you will, I think it's in our best interest to make her be part of the gang.” he smirked to Henry who did not agree but kept his mouth shut.

Chapter Text

You managed to avoid the Bowers gang for a few months after the last incident. Staying hidden in the shadows and bringing your own lunch made it easy to avoid their direct path. But you had a new worry Greta Bowie, terrorizing anyone hiding in the bathroom made it impossible to make any quick escapes.

You had seen the back of Patrick's long greasy hair and hurried to hide in the girls bathroom not knowing of the infamous bubble gum loving female. Once she turned around seeing the cigarette smoke cover the little light let in, you knew it was bad to be here once a shiver went down your back. After that you always made sure to not drink much of anything at school.

Days were long but muddled together in a foreign way. Classes became duller with no real learning. Teachers words slurred and students dozed around you. There was no meaning to stay in class ditching many days yet somehow keeping your grades up.

Without even knowing you had passed the 6th grade with flying colors and no interruption from the Bowers or Bowie. It was simply amazing that you managed to do all three.

Summer wasn't much of anything you sat home most days reading, telling your parents most of your friends went out of state to visit family. They believed your lies and let you dwell in the nest you're buried yourself in. Yet before July started the house was quiet and too hot to bare, you decided to raid the spare change and grab a slushie.

The blinding light of the sun temporarily ruining your vision. Debating to go back inside you move down your stairs. The heat more bearable now in an open space. The trip to the beat down gas station was uneventful no one caring about the twelve year old child walking alone down the many streets. Grabbing the most vibrate, sugary flavor you plan to go to the park and maybe read outside.

But halfway through your journey the undeniable sound of Reggie's alphabet burps can be heard ahead of you. The four all sat laughing at the immature noises. You tried to speed walk past but you felt many eyes turn your way. Internally cursing at your stupidity.

“Hey (y/n) ‘bout time we see you, you've been hiding from me?” Henry's eyes had a mischievous glint and you wanted to so badly run but knew that would just amuse them even more. Nervously kicking at the ground avoiding his eyes you tell him the almost truth.

“I’ve been busy with school and finishing up some summer homework.” you refuse to look over to the boys not wanting to make this any worse. You can hear someone get up and walk towards you. You start shaking not wanting to be there at all. Once you see the black hair it eases you a little as Patrick has been the less ruthless with you. He grabs your chin gently making you look at him and his never ending forest of his eyes.

“Now isn't it rude to not look at people when your talking to them princess, thought we were all about etiquette?” you wanted to cry but his gaze held you like a deer in headlights. You started to mumble out an apology under your breath.

“Can't hear you when you talk that quiet girly,” Vic shouted at you

“I'm sorry I just wasn't expecting to see anybody today is all,” you look at the trio on the ground Henry having a shit eating grin.

“You can make it up to us, you know.” Patrick whispered in your ear. You looked at him with shock worried about his plans.

"What if you just hang out with us today? Well be on our best behavior." You hesitantly look at your hands, you know it's not a question but still the thought of saying no crosses your mind. You put on your tough face and look at Henry.

"What are we doing today?"
.
.
They summer ends up being one of the best you've ever had. The gang didn't really bully anyone when you were around and treated you like another person after you kicked Richies ass for calling you a Bowers slut after seeing him a few times at the arcade.

But the seasons were soon to change and you knew the gang would be leaving you behind while they went to high school. You all were at the quarry you sitting out as you forgot your swimsuit just watching them play chicken and splashing around.

Deep in thought you worry about the upcoming year. After so much socialization and having friends you knew the next year would be hard and even lonelier than the previous. You swirl your feet in the water wondering if you would try and make friends this year or not. Worried what everyone would think that your friends the town bullies. But it's not like you wanted to, they just happened to choose you and weasel their way in.

Patrick always joked he chose you because if you went missing no one would care, but you just lightly punched him in the arm. Going deeper in thought about nonsense you zone out staring at the murky water.

You then felt something grab your feet dragging you into the depth. You scream out keeping your head above the water as well as you can. A head of black appears in your vision pulling you further out as you try and swim back.

"Patrick what the hell I'm still in my clothes!" you whine trying to push him off. The laughter of the other boys brings a blush to your face. He finally let's you go and you swim to the edge hosting yourself up.

"Why'd you do that you knew I forgot my swimsuit asshole?"

"You seemed lonely up there thought you should join." his face had a mask of innocence. You pout at him as your clothes hang on you and drip on the rock.

"You look like a drowned bird (y/n)" Vic shouts at you, Reggie pulling him underwater before you could flip him off. Looking down you blush as your realize your white shirt now sheer showing your new bright blue training bra. You cover your chest and stomp off to a spot with more sun hoping to dry off.

Patrick smiles at Henry as you leave. He says nothing but the look in his eyes said what he wouldn't. Within half an hour they become bored and want to do something else debating on the junkyard or forest. You begged for the forest as your shirt was still slightly see through and you didn't want anyone else to see but you didn't say that out loud.

Of course Henry settle it all by choosing junk yard, if you had Laser vision you'd have burned holes in the back of his head.

Once you arrived you took a spot on the hood of a car sunbathing a little. Your shorts and shirt slightly drying but your undergarments still leaving wet spots where ever you sat. Vic kept teasing you about your hair so you pulled his ear whenever he got to close. The playful banter keeping you occupied as Henry and Reggie threw rocks at glass. Patrick was nowhere to be seen which was typical when at the junkyard.

After a while Vic becomes bored and chases to Henry offering a decent sized rock to throw. Feeling lonely you decide to look for the lanky teen. Hearing shuffling and grunts you work your way towards the back calling out for him. He appears behind you and you jump, he laughs at the reaction.

"Are you trying to give me a heart attack dude? Two times today!"

"No I just like seeing fear on your face."

"Whatever creep, what are you doing back here?"

"Just looking around seeing if I can find anything worth something." you don't believe him but drop the subject.

"So bright blue was that your choice or your daddies?" You blush and actually hit his shoulder as hard as you can.

"Shut up it's the last one they had okay I don't even want the stupid thing," you cross your arms going to head back to the group but he blocks your way.

"We should head back to them they probably want to leave soon." He doesn't move an inch and you look up at his face. He has that grin that means he's got some terrible idea and that fear you felt when they first started bothering you reaches up your throat.

"You know princess I can kill you right here right now and they wouldn't even care, probably think your screaming for something else." Shock then confusion cross your face as you look at him but you stand your ground.

"Shut up Pat I know your just trying to scare me," he grabs your shoulder pulling you closer to him and you don't bother trying to push him off. He laughs low and reaches his face to your level. You muster your best pissed off face with your arms still crossed as his hair tickles your cheek.

"Maybe I am maybe I'm not," he closes the space kissing you and you immediately push him off. Why did he kiss you? Don't people only kiss someone they like? Patrick doesn't even have the ability to like someone especially like that. You feel tears in your eyes and run towards the exit not even saying goodbye to the rest of the boys.

Your last day of summer ruined by Hocksetter you cry as you walk home hating him so much but you hate yourself more because you actually kinda liked the kiss. If only it were Henry or even Vic instead you might have enjoyed it. After your shower, putting on fresh clothes going to bed crying that night.

You knew this year was going to suck.

Chapter Text

To say you hated middle school was an understatement. The halls reeked of teen angst and sweaty boys trying to get dates. This was your last day and it couldn't have come sooner. No matter how many times the boys promised high school was worse you still doubt it. At least they had each other.

Clearing your locker felt great, seeing all the papers thrown on the floor made you smile as you knew this was finally over. You threw your bag over your shoulder walking to the parking lot expecting to see the trans am. The car become Reggie's love of his life the day he got her. Now with a vehicle the boys caused even more trouble if that was possible, but it was nice to get a ride every morning.

You sat and waited at the empty school for almost 20 minutes before you gave up starting the walk home. Angry you got left behind you kicked a specific rock till it left you hurting across the road. Reggie always told you in the morning if he couldn't pick you up after school. And it was the last day they typically burn all their papers (the little they had) and drink stolen beer. Entering your was empty house the silence bothers you. You go up in your room and blare the out of tune radio to the station Reggie always plays.

There isn't much to do so you just sit on your bed looking at your ceiling. Pissed off you figured the boys got invited somewhere completely forgetting about you. They had been ditching you a lot lately to go to parties or houses of whatever girl was attached to their hip that week. You felt really left out. They said it was cause your to young or it's not a girl thing and that would piss you off for weeks. Reggie always felt bad when you gave them the silent treatment once they did figure it was time to involve you, but it still didn't stop him. The boys never told you exactly what they were doing, thinking it was too much for such innocent ears. Patrick would always try and tell you but Henry or Vic would immediately stop him.

It wasn't like you were a baby anymore. You turned 13 three months ago but they didn't care, still treating you like a child. Patrick was the only one to notice your subtle change, hips becoming wide, losing the baby fat around your face, he even knew you got rid of the training bras and were wearing real ones. But that last ones just because he crawls into your room without a care whenever he wanted. You never really hung out with the boys individual it was always at least two of them but Patrick always bothered you when the guys weren't around. You enjoyed his late night visits but he was entirely too loud and wouldn't sit still. He seemed like an actual person during that time, he spoke what was on his mind no matter what. You both just spoke in the dark for hours before you pass out and he'd leave. Maybe it was because you were just neighbors but you'd like to think you were his favorite.

Speak of the devil you hear your bedroom window start to open. You pretend you were busy with a book as he walks in, not even looking at him or greeting him. He stomps over to you sitting in the spot next to you.

“Ugh you will not believe what happened today it was bullshit.” you sat silently hiding your face behind the pages.

“Oh so she's being bitchy well guess what.” he rips the book from your hands and flips it around.

“You don't read upside down do you princess?” you blush still refusing to look at him.

“We didn't leave you at school purpose cunt just listen to me really fast.” you blush even more, they never had excuses when they left just said they were busy so you look at the tall boy.

“Well I'm listening.”

“Okay so its the last day I thought it would be hilarious if I shoved a bunch of toads into that germapobe fags locker right? So since there was so many Vic helped me and that dumb ass principle saw and just blamed all the senior pranks on us and the other two so we got detention. I left early but the other three are stuck there for another 30.” you let yourself slide against the wall almost laying down with you legs hanging off the side of your bed.

“What an ass its the last day what teacher wants to hang around after the last day.” you look up and pout at him feeling better they didn't leave you on purpose again.

“Wanna bet them to the fire pit? We can grab some snacks.” he doesn't wait for a response just leaving out your window assuming you would follow him. But you instead walk out your front door and meet him on the sidewalk.

“How'd you get to leave early?” you ask as you pass the all to similar houses.

“I jumped out the window when he wasn't looking, we all agreed I should try to leave so I could bring our princess the news.”

“What news ‘trick?” you look at him with curiosity.

“You'll see once we get there.” you move around excitedly not sure of what he's talking about but still looking forward to it. The trip out to Reggie's was silent and filled with you trying to keep up with the tall boy. You took a moment to look at him, he finally started to understand how one washes their hair when showering.

His long locks looked fluffy and you wanted to rub your fingers through them. He started wearing more grungy clothes instead of a simple tee and jeans. The slap of his docs on the pavement was a comfortable one. His face had changed little but he seemed older still, jawline becoming more prominent and noticing a little stubble around his chin. You wondered if he had to shave every morning like your dad did or if it was a new achievement. It was odd to think, all the boys were definitely growing up.

Reggie losing most of his baby fat once he joined the football team having to turn down girls left and right with his more jock appearance. Vic becoming the most beautiful man in the whole town, his bleached locks like a halo around his face. Henry still sporting the awful mullet had toned up as well a body of lean muscle and grouchy looks.

But yet you felt no different 13 was a huge milestone for you. All the girls in your grade obviously felt that way wearing more revealing clothing, smacking on the cherry chap stick all the time. You even noticed a few with eyeliner and mascara. You could never wear makeup or anything other than jeans and a hoodie. You knew the boys would tease you nonstop about it and you hated when they ganged up on you.

“Whatcha thinking about over there girly.” Patrick must've gotten bored of the silent air.

“How excited i am for summer it's going to be the best one yet I feel.” glad you thought of a good lie you smile afterwards.
But Patrick is quick to turn around and grab your chin so you look up at him. You hated when he did this it made you feel young and small compared to him.

“I know when your lying (y/n) you better tell the truth.” you scan his face a bit of fear sets in your gut. Swallowing the tick saliva in your mouth you look in his eyes.

“ but ‘trick it's embarrassing that's why i lied.” he grins at your response.

“Then I want to know even more princess why don't you share what's going on in that cute little brain of yours.” you blush at being called cute but try to hide it by looking down.

“ well it's just you all seemed so grown up now and you haven't even noticed I've grown up too. And I don't know if its cause i don't dress or act like all the other girls or if its because I'm not actually all to grow up.” you don't meet his eyes when you say everything but he does release your chin.

“No it's not any of that girly it's just if we were to show you how we see you growing up you might not like it.” that look was back, the one he gets when Henry does something batshit or when he has a sick plan set into motion.

“ I just hate when i can't go to parties with you or I'm stuck at home when you guys drive out of town. Like I know I'm young but by only two years Pat. it sucks.” he grins even more but turns around and starts walking again. You huff angrily and start to follow him. Once at Reggie's back yard you sit down in your designated lawn chair. Patrick goes to the shed most likely to grab drinks before the others get here. But he sticks his head out and motions for you to come over to him. You get up and walk over to the shed.

“They're going to be here soon so we have to be quick.” you look a him puzzled was this going to be a prank thing?

“You always complain about how we don't notice you growing up but you just aren't looking at it right princess.” he softly grabs your left cheek rubbing his thumb against it.

“How Reggie always lets you sit up front, begs you to help him when apart is to tiny for his hand to reach when working on an engine. He likes to stare at you a lot poor boy with his heart of gold.” he steps closer to you and brings a piece of hair behind your ears. You breathe in deep.

“Vic refuses to sit anywhere but by you, always touching your thigh or asking you to play with his hair. Henry is almost the worst, he loves watching you bend over purposely asked you to grab things for him just so he can see your tight ass. Always leaving you behind because he's afraid what he'll do with you when he's been drinking. Princess they all know just you don't look hard enough.” Your breathing is uneven your unsure of what to do. You first thought Patrick was fucking with you, trying to make you nervous scared even. But the more you think of it the more it made sense.

They did all those things all the time lately too. You shake your head at the thought of being so dumb you didn't see it. You look up at Patrick unsure of what to say next. You just blurt out something anything to fill the quiet shed.

“But Patrick what do you do?” he grins once you said this. Pulling you closer he whispers the answer in your ear.

“Well i can't keep my hands off you, always grabbing, pinching somewhere. God how many times i just wanted to grab you and find a nice spot in the dark to eat you up. I love going in your room late at night just to watch you move around in those shorts, watch how your chest moves with each breathe. Love how you look when your sleeping. So peaceful so innocent.” he then pulls you in lips barely touching.

“I want to break you in so many ways, hear you scream, see you bleed.” you could feel every time he breathed wanting to close the distance but to afraid to. You take a deep inhale wishing he would just close the distance himself. But just then the shed door swung open with Henry standing in the doorway looking pissed. You pulled yourself away from Patrick blushing profusely.

“What are you faggots doing in here?” he gives the lanky boy a death glare you choke up not sure what the say but Patrick sighs.

“Just grabbing some drinks what took you so long?”

“Took us so long? You fucking ditched us without even trying to get us out.” you look at Patrick not entirely shocked he lied to you but still, why lie about leaving them behind?

“Well shit head aren't you going to help start the fire?” He looks at you tilting his head towards the pit. You quickly leave knowing Patrick and Henry will be fighting. You go into the house greeting Reggie's mom. Asking if she knew where the others were.

“Oh hi sweety! I thought I saw you and Patrick out back. I think the other two are out front grabbing some things from Reginald's car.”

“Okay thank you Mrs.Huggins.” you hurry out front, the farther away from the shed the better.

“Hey guys how was detention?” you walk to the trunk and see it loaded with cheap beer.

“Shitty Patrick ditched us I'm assuming just to grab you.”

“Yep he told me it was a group agreement” you offer to grab a case but Reggie denies you

“No Girl you don't have to grab anything don't want you to hurt yourself,” you huff in annoyance but then blush after thinking about what Patrick said. You don't truly know whether he was lying or not. He’ll lie about anything if it will benefit him but what does the boys liking you (was like even the correct word?) Have to help him with? You ignore the thoughts and continue watching Reg and Vic unload.

“Just a heads up I think Henry and Patrick are fighting back there.” You tell Vic as he walks to the back gate.

“Ugh those fuckers have so much sexual tension I could slice it with my finger.” that brings a smile to your face. You help Reggie as much as he would allow before heading to the back. Patrick and Henry were surprisingly unscratched sitting across from each other. Patrick being the pyromaniac he was was trying to get the fire bigger with some light fluid, the quick spurts adding a bit.
“‘Trick your going to put it out” you comment as you sit in your spot next to Henry.
“Shut up dumb fuck I know what I’m doing.” he must have lost whatever fight that happened. Seeming more pissy than normal.
“She's right Pats knock it off.” Reggie comments as he brings the last case and sits himself. Patrick gives up and slouched in his seat. Everyone seemed comfortable in the silence but you didn't like it at all, you kept thinking back to Patrick's words. You really didn't want to but the thought made something in your gut warm up. You were blushing all night but blamed it on the one beer you had. Hoping the thoughts didn't ruin the summer for you.