Day 31: “Scared, me?”
“Scared, me? Pft...I’m a demon and the one and only that tempted Eve. I’m not scared of this type of thing” Crowley exclaims, playing with the straw of his cocktail.
“You tempting people to eat stuff has nothing to do with your gigantic crush on Aziraphale, AJ”
“Don’t minimize my work like that! I tempt humans to do everything they deep down wish they could do...to me or others” He replies, winking. Anathema just shoots him an unimpressed look.
“Then ask him out” she says, smiling when Crowley looks at her like she suggested him to let her drive the Bentley.
“Are you out of your mind? I can’t do that!”
“The thing is, you keep telling me that but you never explain why…”
“Because!” he replies, waving his arms like a mad-man. “Well...ngk...for one he doesn’t feel the same!”
“And if I tell you that’s not true?”
“I’d tell you you are deluded, book girl. I’ve known him for millennia, there’s no way he fancies me”
“You’re just a chicken”
“How dare you?! I’ve done things you wouldn’t even think about! Pft...a chicken...stupid human” He says chuckling offended. Then he looks behind him, gesturing the bartender for another drink. “Not everyone finds someone as naive as...what’s his name…” he makes weird gestures with his hand, as if it could help him figure out the lad’s name.
“Newt. You’ve met him multiple times” she says, disappointed in Crowley.
“Not my fault he’s boring. And a nerd. I already have a nerd in my life I don’t need to care for another one”
Anathema drinks her cocktail, ignoring Crowley’s answer. Sometimes his fake bravado irritates her, especially when she knows he deep down enjoys her boyfriend’s nerdy company.
“I” she starts, looking at Crowley directly in the eyes, with an expression of pure excitement and mischief. “dare you to ask Aziraphale out”
“I’m not that stupid, or childish. I won’t do it just because you dared me”
“Wooow. The great Crowley, the one that pushed humankind to question God, is scared of a simple, innocuous dare. I can’t believe it. The king of mischief...scared…” she sing-songs, completely and utterly mocking him.
Crowley wants to throw her in the Thames just so she can understand what her ancestors felt.
“It’s not innocuous, it could destroy our friendship” he says, but even to him his words sound like an excuse.
“If it goes badly you can always say it was because of a dare. Or you can blame me. I’m sure he will understand. But if you’re too scared I get it...totally”
She slowly sips are drink.
Crowley looks at her angrily, trying to make her feel, even more than hear, the curses he’s throwing at her. But she just continues to drink her drink and look at him directly in the eyes, with an air of challenge.
After a couple of minutes spent staring at each other, Crowley gives up, letting out a long sigh.
“Okay, fine. I’ll do it” he says, leaving some money on the table and immediately getting up. “I’ll show you who’s the chicken” he murmurs, leaving Anathema at the bar, laughing loudly to herself.
A couple of weeks later Anathema is back in Tadfield and while she’s reading the latest issue of her favourite magazine, she receives a text.
Done your stupid dare...you were right.
Before she can even reply with an ‘I told you so’, she receives a photo of Aziraphale sleeping on Crowley’s chest with the softest smile on.
She immediately smiles back, happy that her favourite couple of occult entities finally got together.
“So much for ‘it could destroy our friendship’” she says chuckling, before she starts typing her obnoxious and self-satisfied reply.