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Casey VS Memory

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Chuck tried not to cry as he lightly ran the warm sponge over Casey’s bruised chest when a strong hand gripped his wrist. “What the hell do you think you are doing?”
“Sponge bath”
“Who the fuck are you”
“Um Chuck”
“What kind of name is Chuck?” Casey pulled his hospital gown back up to cover his chest
“I don’t know how to answer that”
“What the hell happened to me?”
“You were kicked out of a window on the 9th floor of an office building and landed on a window cleaning thingy but the wire snapped and you landed on the ground, you have been in a coma for three days”
“An office building? Why was I in an office building?”
“You went to talk to Sarah and she betrayed us and tried to kill you”
“I don’t know a Sarah”
“So does that mean you don’t remember Alex either?”
“How do you know that name?”
“It’s your old name, and the name of your daughter”
“I don’t have a kid”
“Yeah and I’m sure you don’t think you have a fiance either, but you have both”
Casey grunted “I don’t believe you”
Chuck nodded towards the ring
Casey lifted up his left hand twisting the ring around “Why would I have a ring on when I’m just engaged?”
“Because that’s generally what happens when someone proposes to you”
“I let some bitch propose to me?”
Before Chuck could say anything the door burst open and Morgan and Alex walked in “Dad” she was crying.
“Son of a bitch, I really do have a kid”
Alex looked at him confused.
“He doesn’t remember anyone” Chuck’s voice cracked as he fought back tears “I’m going to go find Ellie and talk to his doctor”
“Chuck” Morgan followed him out of the room
“Don’t Morgan”
“It will be okay, I’m sure his memories will come back”
“Just don’t tell him it’s me, I can’t take the rejection right now” Chuck looked down at his ring
“You know I didn’t think Sarah could hurt me any more than she has in the past, but this, this is the line. Every time I’m happy she finds a way to ruin it. First Bryce, then herself, now she has taken the love of my life away from me just weeks before my wedding” He wiped the tears off his cheeks on the sleeve of his shirt. “My wedding that probably isn't going to happen now”
“It will all be okay Chuck, go find Ellie, maybe go home and shower and eat non-hospital food”
“Yeah sure Morgan, let me go to the house that I share with my fiance and be reminded of all the amazing things that have happened while he is here not remembering any of it”
“Maybe bring in some pictures, it could help”
Chuck sighed, “I’ll see you later buddy”

 

Chuck really didn’t want to be here but everyone told him it that it was a good idea.
He took a deep breath before walking into Casey’s hospital room. He had a moment of panic when he saw the bed was empty but then he saw the bathroom door was shut and he could hear the shower running so he sat down in the chair he has basically lived in for four days and flipped through the pictures he brought. One of them, three years ago on their first Christmas together as a couple where Ellie got them matching sweaters, Chuck laughed at the memory of the look on Casey’s face when he saw it and the ten minute fight to convince him to wear it for one picture, and even though they both hate them, they still wear them every year. The picture of their first weekend away together at a small cabin in the mountains where Casey taught him to ski and they had sex for the first time. The candid picture Morgan took of Casey staring at Chuck while they were at work. Then there were the professional pictures of the day Chuck proposed to Casey, he hired a photographer to hide and capture the moment, he remembered how scared he was that day. He took Casey to the beach at sunset, so cliche but it was where he went the first day he found out about the intersect and he needed to escape and Casey found him there and they spent the night talking so it only felt right that it would be the location of asking him to spend the rest of his life with him.
He was brought out of his thoughts when he heard a loud crash coming from the bathroom. He jumped and ran over to the door “Are you okay?”
“Go away”
“I don’t think you are supposed to be standing up for long periods of time, did you fall?”
“Leave me alone”
Chuck knew it was a bad idea, but he opened the door anyway, Casey was sitting on the floor of the shower, it was hard not to stare at his naked body but he knew now wasn't the time for that. “I know you don’t like me, but I can help you”
“I don’t want your fucking help”
“You don’t have to be like this, let me help you”
“I have apparently lost the last five years of my life, I woke up today to find out I have a long lost daughter from when I was eighteen and a fiance who no one will tell me about but clearly she doesn’t care enough to come see me”
“He never left your side” Chuck whispered. “Well I’m gonna um go, I uh left you some pictures on the table, there is info on the back of them, so yeah”
“Wait” Casey held his hand up “Help me up”
Chuck walked towards him grabbing his hand, their rings made a sound as they hit making Chuck’s heartache, his other hand grabbing Casey’s wrist. He wanted so badly to just hug him when he stood up “You still have soap in your hair, If you want, I can stand here while you wash it out if you want”
Casey took a deep breath “Can you help? My back and ribs are killing me hurts to raise my arms”
“I guess”
“You were giving me a sponge bath when I woke up”
“Yeah” Chuck rolled up his sleeves, hesitating a moment before reaching up to run his fingers through Casey’s hair, trying not to cry when he saw Casey’s back that was basically a giant bruise.
“Are we friends?”
“Best friends, well technically Morgan is my best friend, but you’re a close second”
“The bearded man dating my daughter?”
“Yeah, it’s funny you say that since you always called him that before the accident”
“What do I usually call you?”
“Nerd or Bartowski”
“What’s a Bartowski”
“My last name”
“You married?”
“I’m supposed to be getting married in about three weeks”
“So you’re engaged and wearing a ring”
“Yeah, after I proposed to my boyfriend at the beach about a week later he proposed to me in our bed, he woke me up in the middle of the night and asked, we were naked, but it was still special”
“Fuck”
“Did I hurt you?”
“It’s me isn’t it” Casey stepped away “We’re engaged?”
Chuck shook his head.
“I’m not gay, this isn’t right, is this a joke”
Chuck didn’t know what to say “I’m sorry to be a disappointment” Chuck took off his ring and set it down on the sink
“That looks familiar”
“You said it belonged to you dad, you got it resized to fit me” Chuck really didn’t want to cry. “Not sure how long you have to stay here but you can go back to our house, I’ll be staying with my sister, just let me know when I can come get my stuff” Chuck looked back one more time as he left the room.

 

“You shouldn’t be here John”
“You’re Ellie right?”
“Yeah, are you remembering?"
"No" he held out the stack of pictures "Just wanted to return these"
"He is in his old room if you want to talk to him"
"I don't"
"He loves you, and I know you love him"
“I don’t know anything about him”
“Maybe you should at least try”
“He isn't gay Ellie”
“Chuck” Ellie turned to see her brother had walked into the room
“It’s fine Ellie, I just wanted to tell him that I let everyone know that the wedding is off and we can’t get any of our money back for all the people we hired and we will need to figure out what to do with our joint account that has all the honeymoon and final wedding payment money in it”
“Give me their numbers, I’ll get the money back”
“No, I’m not letting you bully them because you all of a sudden hate me, it’s not their fault”
“I don’t” Casey ran a hand over his face sighing. “I don’t hate you”
“We also need to figure out what to do with the house, most of the stuff we bought together, and both our names are on it. It’s probably going to mess up our credit since it’s only been half a year, but whatever. I mean I did work really hard on getting a good score and saving money and of course you’re score is perfect because everything about you is perfect and I’m sure you have tons of money saved somewhere and”
“Do you ever shut up?”
“No” Chuck scowled at him.
“You can have it”
“I can’t afford it on my own”
“Why did we buy such a big house?”
“Because we wanted a lot of kids”
“I never wanted kids”
“Yeah well then you met Alex and changed your mind, you aren’t the same guy you used to be Casey, obviously you don’t know that, but stop fighting it”
“I’m not fighting it, I just can’t get my mind around having a kid and liking dick”
“You don’t have to be with me, but please don’t leave Alex, she adores you and she just got you in her life less than a year ago, she can’t lose you”
“He will need the ring back”
“No Ellie, it’s fine, I don’t want it”
“It’s only fair because you gave mine back”
“Because it was your dad's, I bought yours, I really don’t want it okay” Chuck’s voice got a little loud at the end of his sentence. “I’m fucking heartbroken, okay, I just need you to stay away from me for a while, I’m sure Mr. no emotions John Casey doesn’t give two fucks about how I’m feeling right now but please stay away from me and I swear to god if you make a joke about my emotions I will punch you in the face”
“Your scrawny ass could never punch me”
“Wanna bet on it?”
“That’s enough” Ellie cut in “I think you should leave John”
“Because you don’t want to see his ass get beat?”
“Just leave”

 

Chuck was walking down the stairs to Castle not paying to much attention "Hey buddy, got your text. what's the missi…oh uh Casey is here"
"Sorry Chuck I figured if I told you, you wouldn't show and we could really use the intersect"
“You’re right, I wouldn’t have”
“Well Sarah is gone, who else is supposed to be the muscle around here?”
“Have we heard from her?”
“Nope”
“So why did the bitch try and kill me?”
“She is undercover, Beckman thinks maybe she was trying to prove she is on their team and something went wrong” Chuck couldn’t look at him, it was too hard. “What’s the mission, Morgan?”
He handed Chuck the file, he flipped through a few pages until he flashed.
“What the fuck was that face” Casey laughed.
“A face you used to love” Chuck threw the file on the table “I can’t do this, sorry Morgan, I’ll call you and tell you all the info I have but this is way too fucking hard. I can’t be in the same room as him. I want to hug him and punch him at the same time”
“I hate hugs”
“Yeah I know, stop fucking reminding me that you hate everything about me and our relationship”
“I don’t hate you”
“Maybe you should try it like they do in the movies and kiss to see if that brings back memories”
“Not gonna happen” Casey rolled his eyes.
“The world won’t end Casey, and I’m pretty sure your mouth has been on worse parts of his body, a kiss isn’t going to kill you”
“Have you ever fucked me?”
Chuck raised an eyebrow “Um obviously we have had sex”
“Way too much if you ask me” Morgan mumbled “I mean seriously you guys were always finding someplace to sneak off to, sometimes you didn’t even try and hide it, most surfaces in Castle, most of the backroom and theater room at the Buy More, our old apartment”
“Shut up Morgan”
“No way I let you put your dick in me”
“Who knew Casey from five years ago was a homophobic asshole. And not only did you let me, you begged for” Chuck scowled.
Casey stood up and grabbed the front of Chuck’s shirt faster than Chuck could even process what was happening. “Go ahead and do or say whatever you want, it’s not like you can hurt me any worse, and the shitty thing is that no matter what you do or say, I’ll never stop loving you”
Casey let go of him.
Chuck straightened his shirt before heading back to the Buy More.

 

“Chuck”
“Holy hell Casey, what the fuck is wrong with you. I about pissed my pants”
“Morgan told me this is how I can talk to you”
“Remind me to kill him”
“How are you even a spy if it was that easy to sneak up on you”
“I don’t really have a choice with the intersect”
“Why don’t they give it to someone else?”
“Something about me being special” Chuck laughed “We have tried many times, you even lead a team once, but they didn’t have enough emotion and killed someone and there was an evil group called Fulcrum that tried and it fried people’s brains”
“Guess I should finish reading that file the General sent me”
“Can I help you with something?”
“You can stay at the house if you want”
“I do because it’s my dream home and I absolutely love it but I think it would be too hard”
“Listen, Chuck”
“It’s weird when you call me that”
“What do I normally call you?”
“Bartowski, but please don’t, it’s something more special, like when I call you John”
“I know shit is difficult, but I had dinner with Alex last night and she suggested I try and talk to you, but I don’t talk”
“The person you are now is who you are to everyone you know, except me, you are the sweetest, kindest, funniest, most loving, caring person I've ever met. You can deny it but why would I lie?”
“Not arguing with you, I just don’t see it”
“Can you do me a favor and just stop saying you aren’t gay or anything negative about our relationship because it hurts”
“But”
“Just leave, I’ll let you know about the house”
Casey walked towards the window “One more question, do we have a dog?”
“No”
“There are food bowls and toys”
“We foster, but thankfully we currently don’t have one”
“The mission went fine by the way”
“I know”
“See you around Bartow….Chuck”

 

“Chuckster”
“Jeff”
“Where is your big hunk of man meat”
“If he ever hears you call him that he may kill you”
“Usually you two sneak off to the theater room at least once a day and spend your lunch breaks making out in the back of his car, now you don’t even look at each other, trouble in paradise?”
“Don’t you have boobies to go look at or something”
“Can Jeffster still play at the wedding?”
“Walk away right now” Chuck slammed his hand down on the Nerd Herd desk.
“Good day,” Jeff nodded towards him and walked to the closest female customer.
“How have I worked here for so long and not killed them?” Casey walked up
“It’s truly a miracle they are still alive”
"Wanna grab lunch?"
"With you?"
“Obviously moron”
“Don’t call me that” Chuck sighed
“Where do we normally eat?”
“We usually make out in the back of your car or have sex in the theater room and we usually eat whatever leftovers we bring on our fifteen-minute break later in the day.
“I didn’t bring anything, and we are not having sex or kissing”
“Wasn’t planning on it”
“What’s good around here?”
“There is a deli across the parking lot that has amazing sandwiches”
“Let’s go”
Chuck thought about it for a moment “Sure”

“Chuck” Lou had a huge smile on her face “It’s been a while” she wrapped her arms around him.
“Hey, Lou”
“You two totally fucked didn’t you”
“Oh my god” Chuck blushed “I’m sorry Lou, he um fell off a ladder at work and lost his memory, and has become an absolute asshole I’m sorry”
“Wait, like all his memory?”
“At least five years”
“Chuck I’m so sorry”
“Yeah, so we are going to get some sandwiches and sit outside”
“Do you trust me?”
“Always” Chuck smiled
“Does grumpy John still like mystery subs or do I need to make him something boring?”
“Do you have a grumpy special?” Chuck laughed.
“I’m fine with anything” Casey growled.
“And two waters please” he handed over his card
“You don’t have to pay”
“It’s from our joint account, don’t worry, I haven't used it for anything else”

Casey grabbed the two sandwiches and headed outside to the seating area.

“So are you doing this because you want to or is there something else you have in mind?”
“Just lunch”
“Can I ask you a favor?”
“So far what I’ve learned about you, seems like even if I say no, you’ll still ask”
"Can you just stop saying you aren't gay, I mean you never really told me your preferences but before this whole intersect thing happened there was a guy in college named Bryce, you killed him, well kind of. He faked being gay to be with me, it's a long story but I was in love with him and he broke my heart then you and Sarah came along and then Bryce came back and started dating Sarah who was also fake liking me for C.I.A bullshit. So when you say you don't like men it makes me think all of it was fake for C.I.A bullshit and that fucking sucks"
"That was a lot of information"
"Sorry"
"But I don't know if it was a mission"
“Would you actually marry someone for a mission?”
“Don’t know”
Chuck shrugged "Guess it would be just my luck"
"You're probably better off without me"
"Don't say that" Chuck took another bite of his sandwich. "Can we talk about something else?"
“Let’s just eat”
“Do you like the sandwich?”
“It’s good” he took a sip of his water “Was I right about the sub girl?”
“Yes, we dated, but there was this mob thing and then Sarah messed it all up, it didn’t last long”
“Seems like you’re just a magnet for bad luck”
Chuck laughed “Yeah and you currently don’t even know a quarter of it”
“You’re sister seems to hate me”
“She hates that I’m hurting, you two used to actually be pretty close, you used to cook together and trade recipes”
“Doesn’t sound like something I would do but I do enjoy cooking, that I know”
“My personal favorite is your grandmother’s meatloaf with homemade mashed potatoes”
“I told you about her?”
“It took a while, but yes”
“Then there is no way our relationship was a cover or mission because I don’t tell anyone about her that I’m not close with”
"I know your middle name used to be Eugene"
Casey about dropped his sandwich "No one knows that except my family"
"We got really really drunk one night and you told me, you said since we will be family one day you thought I should know that it was equally as weird as my middle name"
"Which is?"
"Irving"
"That may be worse"
“Shut up” Chuck laughed “It’s weirder to not have a middle name”
“Yeah well I didn’t think I’d live long as John Casey so I didn’t think it would matter”
Casey finished his sandwich “Did we decide who’s last name we would take?”
“We were going to hyphenate it to Casey-Bartwoski but then one day you told me you had decided you wanted to take my last name and we talked about making Casey your middle name so we could all still call you Casey”
Casey just nodded his head
“Not sure what this lunch is, but Ellie wants to know if you are still coming to Thanksgiving dinner next week”
“It’s not Thanksgiving”
“Well we planned a family dinner early because we were supposed to be on our Honeymoon during Thanksgiving”
“Why did we plan it that way?”
“Because apparently it’s easier to take time off during the holidays when you work for the C.I.A.”
“Where is the honeymoon?”
“It WAS going to be a road trip across the U.S. in an RV. We spent weeks planning out our route and all the sights we wanted to see. There are fifty stops and would take about two weeks if planned it right”
“Do you have a map I can see?”
Chuck pulled out his phone, loading up the list “We have it on an actual map hanging on the wall in our office with little pins in it”
“I haven’t looked around the house much, just the kitchen and basement, and what I’m guessing is a guest room”
“Um this was good, thanks for inviting me” Chuck sighed, wishing this didn’t hurt so bad “I think I need to get back to work, but I’m going to stop by the house tonight to grab some clothes, I’ll text you”

 

Chuck paced back and forth on the front porch of his house, the front porch where he used to sit and read comics as Casey did yard word, where they would sit and drink lemonade in silence just enjoying each others company after Casey was done. Where they would sit and have a few beers at night after a long day at work or after a mission.
He thought about turning and leaving but he really needed some clothes, he took a deep breath to calm himself down before unlocking the door and walking in.
He was flooded with more memories as he walked in, it’s only been a little over a week since he was here last but it felt like so much longer.
His favorite memory was when Casey carried him over the threshold and they both were laughing at how ridiculous it was and how Chuck’s legs were too long and how the movies made it look so easy, then Casey attempting to continue to carry him up the stairs but they almost fell so Casey put him down and Chuck thought he was going to walk the rest of the way but Casey threw him over his shoulder and carrying him to their bedroom where they made love on the floor.
“Casey are you here?”
No answer
He headed up to their room, stopping at the hallway closet to grab an empty duffle bag, he grabbed some things from the dresser then went over to the closet realizing his other work shirts he came for were not there, looking over he noticed the hamper was gone so he headed down to the basement where the washer and dryer were.
When he got close to the stairs he heard some music playing, he really hoped Casey was wearing a shirt while he worked out, but with how his luck was going, he was probably working out naked.
He tried to keep his eyes on the ground as he walked to the laundry area in hopes that he didn’t see Casey and Casey didn’t see him.
“Chuck”
“Fuck” he mumbled turning to look at Casey who of course had just lifted his very tight white tank top up to wipe the sweat off his face. “Um hi, sorry to bother you, I was just coming down to see if my other work shirts were down here”
“Yeah they are hanging up on the rack in there”
Chuck just stood there staring at Casey’s chest that was visible at the top of the tank top
“You okay?”
Chuck closed his eyes trying to shake the thoughts out of his head before his dick got noticeably harder “Sorry um I just, uh you shaved your chest”
Casey looked down. “I prefer it that way”
“Right” Chuck told him he preferred it when he didn’t shave so he stopped for him.
“You’re very red, are you okay?”
“I need to leave” Chuck ran up the stairs tripping on the top one and dropping his bag that was unzipped so of course when it tumbled down the stairs the clothes he had already packed fell out. He looked back for a moment but couldn’t bring himself go back down, he just ran out to his car.
He slumped forward resting his head on the steering wheel attempting to keep his breathing slow and steady to avoid the panic attack he could feel coming on.
He had no idea how long he had been sitting there when there was a tap on his window, he looked up to see Alex standing there.
“Hi,” he said as he stepped out of his car.
“Dad called me, said you came to get some clothes and were just sitting here and he wasn’t sure if he should bring them out to you or not so he called and asked me to do it”
One of the selling points for their house was that Alex lived five houses down.
“This is so embarrassing, I’m sorry Alex”
“It’s fine, you don’t have to apologize”
“I’m not sure if he picked up my stuff but I had clothes in a duffle that I dropped as I ran out and I really need my white work shirts from the laundry room”
“I’ll go in and get it, no problems at all, need anything else?”
“Not right now, I’m waiting to decide what I want to do because I really don’t want to live with Ellie anymore but all my money went into this place and the wedding and honeymoon”
“Well you know Morgan and I will always be here for you no matter what”
“Thanks, Alex”

After Alex went inside his phone rang, it was Morgan.
“I’m fine”
“I’m on my way to Alex’s, want to come have dinner and play some Xbox?”
“Only if you both promise to not talk about John at all, or how I’m feeling”
“Just remember Dr. Morgan is here”
“Shut up” Chuck laughed, “I’ll see you there”
Chuck watched Casey awkwardly hug Alex at the door before she walked over to Chuck’s car
“Morgan called me, guess I’m coming over for dinner, I’ll give you a ride”
“He said if you ever want to come back and get stuff you can text him and he will leave”
“We had lunch together today, I thought it would be okay but it wasn’t”
“I’m sorry Chuck, I can’t imagine what it's like to be dealing with this”
“Morgan promised we won’t be talking about Casey or my feelings tonight”
“That’s a good idea, and if you want, you know you are always welcome to stay in my guest room”
“Thanks, Alex”

 

Chuck woke up around noon, groaning as he stretched “Never drinking again” he mumbled to himself, he looked at his phone to see a message from Morgan ‘Went to work, hope you’re feeling okay, coffee and aspirin are waiting for you in the kitchen, help yourself to any food’
Chuck stayed in the shower until the hot water ran out before he went down to heat up some coffee and raid the fridge. It took him a few minutes to find a pan to heat up some frozen sausage and make some scrambled eggs.
Every single thing he did reminded him of Casey and he wondered if it would always be like that or if he would get over him, or if things would be the same if Casey ever did get his memories back. He sat down at the kitchen table scrolling through stuff on his phone while he ate when a message from Casey popped up

Casey: Tell Ellie I won’t be there for Thanksgiving
Casey: I don’t want to make things uncomfortable for you

Chuck: It’s fine if you want to come and be with Alex since she is your only family

Casey: I can have dinner with her another time
Casey: I was going to come over and mow her grass, but I saw your car
Casey: Let me know when you leave

Chuck: Alex said I can stay here until I find a place, but I guess that’s a bad idea since you are probably around a lot. Sorry, I’m going to finish eating and clean up my mess and I’ll be gone

Casey: Do what you need to do, I don’t want to make your life worse

Chuck: I’m already at rock bottom, honestly not sure if there is a worse point
Chuck: Sorry I shouldn’t have said that it’s not your fault and I’m sorry

Casey: Beckman has me on a fake leave at the Buy More right now so you won’t have to worry about seeing me unless you are absolutely needed on a mission

Chuck wasn’t sure how to respond, he cleaned up everything, grabbed his bag and sent Alex a text saying he couldn’t stay there because it wasn’t fair to keep Casey away from her house just because he couldn’t handle seeing him right now.

 

“Chuck honey, how are you?”
“Stop asking me that Ellie” Chuck filled his wine glass almost to the top. “I’m clearly fine”
“Have you figured out anything about the house yet?”
“Casey is living there, and you promised not to bring him up, I don’t even know why we are still having early Thanksgiving when there is obviously no honeymoon”
“Chuck”
Chuck took a huge drink of his wine and adding more to his glass before walking away”

“Hi, sorry am I late?” Casey walking through the front door
“Oh look it's the guy I’m head over heels in love with even though he hates me because I have a dick” Chuck lifted his wine glass “Happy fucking Thanksgiving everyone” he chugged the rest of his wine, he set his glass on the kitchen table walking over and grabbing a full bottle of wine and walking to his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. He took off the nice sweater and dress pants Ellie made him wear, changing into a pair of sweatpants and one of Casey’s old Marine shirts. If he was going to throw himself a pity party then he was going to go all out.
He was surprised that no one had knocked on his door yet, he sat down in the bean bag chair at the foot of his bed, he turned on his TV mindlessly flipping through the channels as he drank his wine and tried to forget what was going on in his life.
He jumped when he heard a voice behind him. “What?” he looked over to see Casey
“Everyone insisted I bring you a plate”
“Why the fuck are you even here?”
“Alex and Ellie insisted”
“A warning would have been nice”
Casey set the plate down on the dresser in front of the TV. “Is that my shirt?”
“Obviously”
“I don’t hate you and you can’t blame me for not knowing anything about you”
“Well if we really were meant to be together then I thought even no memory Casey would have even the slightest crush on me and want to try and go on a date or something” he drank some more wine “So like even if you got your memory back things would never be the same because I’ll always have the memory of this”
“Stand up”
“You don’t get to tell me what to do”
“You are so stubborn”
“You can get out of my room”
“We need to talk about the house”
“Do whatever you want, my life is already ruined, I have to live with my sister, take the house, take all the money take it all, you already took my heart out and stomped on it”
“I did nothing” Casey yelled. “That bitch pushed me out of the window, I didn’t choose this, not once have you stopped to think what I’m dealing with”
“Because you made it clear you don’t show emotion and you don’t care about me”
“I never said I didn’t care about you”
“The look on your face when you realized we were engaged was more than enough proof of that”
“It was shock you moron”
“Stop calling me that, I’m not a moron, I’ve very smart actually”
“Well you’re being really stupid right now, so just sit here and drink your wine and wallow in your self-pity instead of spending Thanksgiving with your family”
“It’s not even Thanksgiving, it's a random fucking Thursdays that is just a reminder of the wedding that’s not going to happen”
“I don’t know what else to say to you”
“Nothing, just leave and never talk to me again”
“That’s not going to be possible, we have the same friends, plus I don’t want to”
“Leave” he threw a pillow at him.
“Bye Bartowski”
“You have no right to call me that” Chuck yelled after him. “Fuck you, John”

 

It’s been three weeks since Casey’s accident and a few days since he saw Casey, it was an accident, he had been helping Morgan move into Alex’s place and Casey showed up to help. Chuck was able to ignore him, but then went home and cried. Casey ended up moving in with them so Chuck could have the house because Ellie was due in a few weeks and needed Chuck’s old room back.

Today was the day he was supposed to be getting married but instead, he was laying in their bed crying wearing one of Casey’s shirts that he took from the closet, both things still smelling like him.
The paper he wrote his vows on spotted with teardrops making the ink smear laying crumbled on the bed next to him. He looked at the clock, right about now they would be at the vineyard getting dressed, Ellie would look gorgeous in her gown and probably be crying as she helped him with his bowtie.
Then they would be seeing each other for the first time, as Chuck walked down the aisle, then they would say their vows and talk about how in love they were and how they were going to spend the rest of their lives together. Then they would spend the night drinking wine and dancing before heading to their hotel room where they would spend the night naked before leaving on their road trip.
His bedroom door slowly opened “Hey Chuck”
“Why are you here?”
“Alex told me what today is”
“Then you should know not to be here”
“I wanted to make sure you were okay”
“I’m fine, please go away, don’t make this harder than it has to be”
“Not my intention”
Chuck threw the wadded up piece of paper at him “Here are my vows, in case you need a reminder of exactly what you mean to me and why this is so fucking hard”
Casey picked up the piece of paper setting it on the nightstand “Can I make you dinner?”
“Why?”
“I thought we could go on a date”
“You picked a really bad day for that”
“I know I said it was a stupid idea, but maybe we should try Morgan’s idea”
“I’m not letting you kiss me”
“Just once, and if you want I’ll leave and you will never see me again. I’ll ask for a new assignment”
“I would not take you away from Alex because of my emotions. I’ll be leaving for two weeks and not letting anyone but Beckman knows where I am. I’m going to take some me-time away from everyone to try and get my feelings in check”
“Okay, but please just let me cook for you tonight”
“Fine, but I’m going to lay here and cry just a little bit longer”

“You made meatloaf” Chuck started crying again.
Casey pulled him into a hug “I wish there was something I could say or do to make this all better, make my memories come back. I may be an asshole but I hate seeing you like this every time I see you”
Chuck wiped his face on Casey’s shirt. “I’m fine, it’s fine” he stepped back taking a deep breath.
“Hi I’m Chuck Bartowski” he held out his hand “I’m a nerd, I like long walks on the beach, I’m super emotional, I’m obsessed with Star Wars and I love playing video games”
Casey smiled “Hi Chuck, I’m John Casey, I’m as far from a nerd as possible, I also enjoy walks on the beach, I am not emotional, I don’t mind Star Wars, and I love working out”
They sat down and had dinner together, Chuck telling him stories from college and some of the fun missions they went on and acting like he was hearing Casey’s stories for the first time. Before they knew it, over two hours had passed.

They were standing on the front porch “Thanks for letting me do this tonight”
“Yeah, thank you for cooking, it was really good”
“Maybe we can do it again sometime”
“When I get back from my mini-vacation”
“Can I kiss you, I need to know”
“Probably not a good idea, but I’ve been craving your touch for three weeks, so I’m going to go against my better judgment and do it”
Casey’s hand was warm on the back of his neck, Chuck squeezed his eyes shut as their lips met, his hands gripping the front of Casey’s shirt, he opened his mouth allowing Casey to deepen the kiss. Chuck moaned, his dick taking interest in the body pressed against him.
“Fuck” Chuck stepped back “I’m sorry” his hands covering the bulge in the front of sweatpants.
“I don’t mind, guess I am gay” he joked
Chuck shook his head “This can’t happen, not right now”
“I understand, go take a cold shower, and text me when you get to your secret vacation spot so I know you’re safe”
“Goodnight John”

 

Chuck: I just got to my hotel

Casey: Thanks for letting me know, hope you have a great time

 

Chuck: It’s been two days, I’m having fun but I hate being alone

Casey: Maybe Morgan and Alex can come hang out with you for a few days

Chuck: That’s a good idea, I’ll ask them
Chuck: How are you doing?

Casey: Confused. That kiss gave me a lot to think about.
Casey: Can I call you?

“Hi”
“Hi”
“Video chats are weird”
Chuck laughed “Yeah technology has changed a lot in the last five years, I’m surprised you figured out how to text”
“Alex helped”
“So what did you want to talk about?”
“I’m just confused and I don’t know who else to talk to”
“I’m sorry that kiss went a little too far”
“Don’t apologize, I wasn’t wrong when I said I’m not gay, because I have never once had feelings for a man before so yeah I was confused when you said we were together. But when we kissed it just felt right. So maybe you are the one who changed me and it’s obvious by looking at our lives that we really love each other”
“I’m not sure what to say about that”
“We have no idea if I’ll ever get my memory back, but I was wondering if you would like to go on a date with me when you get back, see if we can try this”
“I’ll have to get back to you on that. Yeah it sounds nice, but we aren’t in the same place, you see this as a new relationship and dating, and I see my fiance who is supposed to be my husband”
“I understand, please don’t cry anymore”
“All I do is cry, it’s my new normal”
“You’re right, I’m sorry I bothered you. Enjoy your time off and try and forget about me, it may be what's best”
“Bye Casey”

 

“What Morgan”
“Uh we need you”
“No, I’m so jet-lagged, if I flash I may pass out”
“I need you, this was a bad idea and I’m sorry but I have no idea where Casey is and I’m hiding because there are guys with big guns, lots of big scary guns”
“Text me where you are, I’ll be there”

“Come out Morgan, it’s fine”
Morgan peaked over the thing he was hiding behind “Did you get them all?”
“There is no one else here”
“What about Casey?”
“Didn’t see him”
“Chuck”
“Sarah? What the fuck are you doing here?”
“I needed to talk to you”
“I don’t want to hear anything you have to say, ever”
“What’s wrong?”
“You fucking ruined my life, you’re lucky I don’t have a gun”
“Would you really shoot me?”
“Thinking about it” he looked over and saw Morgan had a gun in the back of his waistband, he grabbed it quickly pointing it at Sarah
“Chuck, it's me”
“I don’t know you”
“Chuck? What the fuck are you doing?”
“Casey, this is Sarah”
“Put the gun down” Casey stepped closer to him
“No, she ruined everything, all of this is her fault, she needs to pay”
“You don’t use guns, Chuck, you never have”
“Stop acting like you know me, Sarah, you left the team to go undercover and you” Chuck’s voice cracked “You tried to kill Casey to keep your cover, so no I have no idea who you are and no I’ve never shot anyone, but I have a strong urge to hurt you”
Sarah pulled her gun on him “I can’t let you do that, and it was Casey’s idea to be pushed out of the window, how were we supposed to know the cables would break, and he is clearly standing here alive”
“Put the gun down” Casey growled at her
“I will when he does”
“He may be alive, but he lost his memory, he doesn’t know who I am, I had to cancel my fucking wedding, I lost everything because of you” his eyes filled with tears “And you don’t even care”
“How was I supposed to know that was going to happen? I didn’t do it to hurt you”
Casey grabbed Chuck’s arm “Put the gun down”
“No, I’m not going to kill her, I just need her to know how upset I am”
“I think she knows”
“I hate you and I don’t think you should ever come back to Burbank”
“You don’t scare me, Chuck”
Chuck stepped closer to her “I’m not kidding, everyone thinks I can’t hurt anyone and that I’m too nice, but right now that’s not who I am” he cocked the gun, the next thing he knew there was a burning pain in his arm, he looked down to see his shirt turning red with blood. He fell to the ground.
“Bartowski can you hear me?”
“So much blood”
“I need you to keep your eyes open, stay with me kid”
The last thing Chuck remembers is Casey picking him up and carrying him off.

 

“Where am I?”
“Your bed”
“I was shot, why am I not in the hospital?”
“You were shot in the arm, it didn’t hit anything important, you’re fine”
“There was so much blood”
“And that's why you passed out and made us think it was worse than it was”
Chuck looked down at the bandage, his arm still covered in dried blood. “Oh god” he gagged
“Then don’t look at it dumb ass”
“Did you get her?”
“No, she shot you to distract us so she could run away”
Chuck sighed
“Would you have really shot her?”
“I don’t know, I’m obviously not in a good headspace”
“Let me to help you clean that up?”
“You should leave”
“I’m not leaving”
“Fine” Chuck sighed
“I’ll be right back” Casey got off the bed and headed into their on-suite bathroom.
“Can you walk or do I need to carry you?”
“Would it be weird to ask you to carry me?”
“I offered didn't I” Casey put an arm under Chuck’s back and his knees lifting him off the bed.

“A bath?”
“You need to stay relaxed”
“That’s going to be difficult with my ex standing here while I’m naked”
Casey wrapped his arms around him
“What are you doing?”
“I’m so fucking sorry Chuck” he stepped back just enough to cup Chuck’s face in his hands “I don’t know if there is anything I can say or do to make up for what I’ve said to you over the last month, but I’ll do whatever it takes”
“You remember?”
“Everything” Casey nodded “Hearing that shot and seeing you fall must have jolted something because the second I saw you lying there it all came back to me”
“I know you aren't the same person you were five years ago and yes everything you said really fucking hurt, but I know deep down you didn’t mean it and you were just being an ass to cover your sensitive side”
“I don’t have a sensitive side”
“Keep telling yourself that big guy”
“Need help getting your shirt off?”
“Depends, are you gay yet?” Chuck laughed
“No” Casey deadpanned
“You’re an asshole” Chuck mumbled into a kiss.
“Well, that’s not news” Casey stepped back grabbing the neck of Chuck’s t-shirt and in one tug he ripped the shirt down the middle.
“Holy shit that was hot”
Casey pulled the shirt off Chuck’s shoulders, being careful to avoid the bandage and tossing it towards the small trash can next to the toilet. “I’m going to spend the rest of my life making sure you know just how much I love you” He got down on his knees making quick work of the button and zipper on Chuck’s jeans. “Every part of you” he kissed along Chuck’s hip as he pushed his jeans and boxers down to the floor. Chuck held on to Casey’s shoulders as he stepped out of them. Casey kissed up the middle of Chuck’s chest as he stood up “Get in”
Chuck climbed into the warm water, leaving his bloody arm on the side of the tub.
Casey quickly stipped down sliding into the tub behind Chuck.
“It’s going to take some time for me to get over the pain of everything that happened, but if it taught me anything it’s to cherish the time we have together”
“I’m glad you came back early from your trip, this isn’t how I planned for today to go, and I’m sorry you got shot, but it brought us here”
“What was your plan?”
“I was going to cook you a nice dinner and try and convince you to date me”
“I’d like to date you, no convincing needed”
“How would you feel about eloping and going on that road trip?”
“I love that idea” Chuck turned slightly
“Good cause I already convinced Beckman that we both needed some time off”
“We can elope, but you’re proposing to me again”
"I'm fine with that" Casey grabbed Chuck's chin pulling him into a kiss.