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Witches and Romans

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“Bloody hell.”

Killian glanced up from where he was ladling some ‘witch’s brew’ into his cup, eyeing Robin curiously with a quick raise of his eyebrow. “What?”

His best mate nodded at something over Killian’s shoulder and gestured with the cup in his own hand. With eyebrow still raised, Killian turned to see what had caused his fellow Roman Gladiator to exclaim with such shock and nearly dropped his ‘brew’ all over his not-so-cheap pleather sandals. 

“Bloody hell,” He couldn’t help from repeating the words Robin had just uttered as he took in Emma Swan slowly making her way down the stairs. In the few years that Killian had come to know her, he’d never seen her dawn anything less than functional when it came to dressing up for Halloween. ‘Comfort is sexy’ she had always insisted. 

It seemed this year, comfort wasn’t anywhere in Emma’s wheelhouse.

And by the looks of her sexy witch costume, it wasn’t going to be in Killian’s wheelhouse for the rest of the evening either. He swallowed thickly, turning back to the table and raising his cup to his lips so he could drink down the contents quickly. He astutely ignored the amused look Robin was giving him over the rim of his drink he was sipping from, choosing instead to focus on refilling his cup once again. 

“Happy Halloween, ladies.” 

Killian froze at Robin’s words, glancing out of the corner of his eye at his friend to see him smiling charmingly at who he could only assume were Emma and Ruby just out of sight. He slowed in his drink-assembling, hoping to delay his inevitable greeting for the scantily-clad woman of his fantasies for the past three years standing right next to him. It certainly wouldn’t be appropriate for his tunic to start standing at attention like a good little Roman soldier for someone who very much had herself a boyfriend. 

“Sup, Julius…” Ruby replied to Robin, clearly in response to his costume. “This is one super cute couple’s costume you and Jones have going on here.”

“Actually, there’s a trio of us.” Robin replied informatively as Killian finally turned to look at the two women who had joined them. “Of course Will got it in his head that we were coming as 300 , so he’s showing off his makeuped-on abs around here somewhere…”

Ruby grinned and it went scarily well with the sexy wolf costume she had chosen for this year. “No fucking way! You have got to show me!” She latched onto Robin’s wrist, causing his drink to slosh all over his hand. His protests to Ruby were lost to the ever-growing party crowd as she dragged him away. 

Before Killian could so much as offer Emma a belated greeting, now that it was just the two of them standing there, he found his own cup of ‘brew’ yanked from his hand. Eyes going wide, he watched as Emma raised it to her lips and chugged it all down in one huge gulp.

She gasped, chest heaving, and looked at him with her own green eyes squinted slightly. “Scarlet really used makeup?” 

“Oh yeah,” Killian accepted the cup back from her as she held it out to him. “Spent all afternoon getting them ‘just right’” He air-quoted with his right hand, cup dangling from his other three fingers. 

Emma snorted. “He’s so fucking extra.”

He couldn’t help but grin, feeling the slight effect of having chugged down whatever the spiked punch in his cup had been. Killian reach out with his gloved prosthetic hand to brush against the side of her bare arm. “I see Will’s not the only one going a little extra this year?”

Blushing, Emma crossed her arms over her chest. “God, don’t even bring up how ridiculous this is.” She muttered with a roll of her eyes. “I can’t believe I let Ruby talk me into it.” 

“That seems unusual for you, Swan.”

“Yeah, well…” She ripped the cup from his hand again and brushed up against him as she stepped up to the punch bowl. “It’s been an unusual couple of-” She stopped mid-sentence and Killian frowned as the cup went slack in her hand, the liquid she had already ladled into it spilling back down into the bowl. 

“Swan?” He questioned with concerned, leaning to take in her expression. She was staring with wide eyes across the room at something. “Are you okay?” 

Killian started to turn his head to see what had made her freeze up so abruptly, but then found himself suddenly yanked in another direction and could only stumble after Emma as she dragged him along by the front of his tunic with one hand, using the other to snatch the open bottle of rum from the drink table as they passed.


“Okay, love,” Killian reached out and slowly lowered the bottle Emma was once again slugging from. She protested with a petulant whine but didn’t put up much of a fight as he gently pulled it from her grasp. “Why don’t you take a breather for a moment and fill me in on what’s going on?”

Emma made a disgusted face, as if the very thought of doing either was something atrocious. “What’s going on, huh?” She snorted loudly, clumsily pushing herself up from the porch steps they had been sitting on for some time now. At least long enough for Killian to watch her put away a good portion of the rum. 

“What’s going on is my high school sweetheart ,” She spat the word viciously, stumbling up onto the porch proper to glare down at Killian. “Decided that the past half a fucking decade of our lives wasn’t enough for him and decided that sleeping with his political science classmate was a good fucking idea!”

Killian’s brows pinched together. “Neal did what?”

Laughing drunkenly, Emma nodded. “Oh yeah…” Her grin was almost maniacal. “ Neal cheated on me and here I am, letting my shithead of a roommate convince me that dressing like this…” She gestured emphatically to herself. “Would help to make him see the ‘ error of his ways’ ” It was her turn to air-quote, though hers was done with much more acidity than his had been. “And make me feel sooo much better. And yet here I am, and there he was,” 

Killian almost jumped up to steady her as she swayed on her heels to gesture aggressively back towards the inside of the house. Emma managed to balance herself on her own though, plowing on her with her rant like she hadn’t faulted for a moment.

“With said classmate on his arm…” She sighed sadly before her shoulders drooped and her arm flopped down by her side. Emma turned and stumbled back to the step Killian was still sitting on and flopped down hard onto the wood. This time, Killian did reach out and steadied he as she swayed where she sat. It distracted him enough to give Emma the opportunity to snatch the bottle back from him.

He didn’t have the heart to stop her, though, as she took a pitiful gulp. 

“Should’ve just dressed like a fucking clown. Would’ve been less of a waste than this.” She whispered as the tears started to pool in her hazy eyes. 

Before he could second guess himself, Killian gently pulled Emma into his lap. She didn’t resist, collapsing against him with a pitiful ‘oomph’. He once more pried the bottle from her fingers and set it out of her reach up on the banister just behind his head. He then wrapped both arms around her and gave her an encouraging squeeze. 

“I’m so bloody sorry, Emma.” He whispered and she quietly sniffled against his chest. “I’m sorry that Neal is an idiot wanker who can’t keep his dick in his pants.” Despite the somber moment, it gained a snort from her. “I’m sorry that he’s treated you so poorly when you’re the last person in this world who deserves it. And I’m really sorry he made you feel this costume was a waste,” He pulled back to glance down at her and quirked his eyebrow up, cocking his head to the side. “Because it very much isn’t.…”

Blinking up at him, cheeks flush from the rum and his words, Emma sniffled again. “No?”

“Not even remotely.” He smiled for her. “Though I wouldn’t object to a sexy clown either.”

She grinned back and then was suddenly scrambling out of his lap and swaying on her feet. “Okay then,” She wiped under eyes, smearing more makeup than she actually cleaned up, and blew her bangs out of her eyes. “I wanna go carve my pumpkin…” Her green eyes looked down to him as Emma held out her hand. “You comin’?”

Killian sat for a moment, blinking in slight shock at the sudden shift in topic. Part of him wondered if he should keep her outside, away from the party and from Neal, and have her try and open up a little bit more. But then she was wiggling her fingers, eyebrows raising, and he found he couldn’t be the reason she was denied any more pleasure that night.

He took her hand, rising to his feet, and snagging the rest of the rum off the banister as she once more dragged him along.


“I jus’ don geddit…” Will slurred as he stumbled down the street with Robin to the house they both shared with Killian. He frowned down at his smudged abs, wiping absently at them and smearing them around even more. “We were jus’ at her bloody ‘ouse.”

Robin kept a steadying, leading hand on his drunken roommate’s shoulder and glanced over his own to check on the pair slowly following after them. Killian was weaving a slightly uneven path down the sidewalk, his own slightly-drunken attention more on the witch gathered in his arms than keeping his path straight. 

He was murmuring something to her softly, and despite how her face was mostly obscured behind her askew witch hat, Robin could still make out the giddy smile that tilted Emma’s lips upward. It disappeared sharply as Killian stumbled against a broken part of the sidewalk. 

“My pumkin!” She yelped loud enough for Robin to hear, hugging the carved gourd in question closer to her chest. 

Whatever Killian whispered to her in response was enough to placate her and have her snuggling her face back up against his neck. 

Smiling, Robin faced forward once again and continued to steer Will along. “We don’t question the work of the gods, mate.”

“The bloody ‘ell you on ‘bout?!” Will grumbled and Robin couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation. 


One year later...

“You can’t be serious, love.”

Killian glanced out the passenger window of Emma’s bug, eyeing the costume shop she had just pulled up in front of warily. 

Leaning into him across the console with her chin resting on his shoulder, Emma took in the shop for herself. “I may not remember everything from last year,” She brushed her nose against his shoulder and poked at his side playfully. “But ‘ I wouldn’t object to a sexy clown’ stands out clear as day, mister.”

“Aye,” Killian nodded and then turned his head to look at her as she pulled back from him slightly. “But I wasn’t referring to myself .”

Emma smiled innocently and shrugged. “That part isn’t all that clear, sorry…” 

Rolling his eyes, Killian scoffed. “Oh, of course it isn’t.” He grumbled before leaned over to press his lips to hers. She hummed into his mouth before wrapping her arm around his neck to deepen the kiss. He allowed her to take the lead, and soon found himself breathless as she pulled away after several long moments with a satisfying pop of their lips. 

“You damn enchantress you.” He muttered playfully. 

She scrunched up her nose as she smiled. “You love it.”

“I love something, that’s for sure.” He answered back with sincerity, gaze strong as he looked at her. She bit her bottom lip and looked momentarily overwhelmed before her grin turned dazzling and she leaned in to kiss him quickly one more time.

“You’re still dressing like a sexy clown.” She whispered into his ear playfully before turning and practically bouncing out of her side of the car.

Killian groaned and watched her bound excitedly around the front of the car. “Bloody hell.”