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Cosmic Kiss

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The world was red, then green, then black. Then nothing.

Bakugou awoke in a frenzy, convulsing like a man deprived of oxygen. Tears carving paths down his cheeks, the beginnings of a scream clawing at his throat.

The fuck?!? It hurts, it hurts!

He cracked his eyes open to white: white walls, white bed. When was the last time he felt this utterly screwed? Since when had someone been powerful enough to beat him this good? He couldn't remember. He couldn't remember how he got here or why the world was spinning. There were faces and drugs. A Doctor maybe? Was he at a hospital?

"Katsuki come on now wake up already." Oh great, his mum was here. This must really be bad. He cracked his eyes open more, nails digging into the sheets, hot tears flowing unceasingly.

"What do you want old bat-" it was condescending as usual but lacked all regular aggression. His voice was dry and croaky, it felt like he was being pulled along by a train, fast yet sadistically slow. He moved a hand to reach for his temple but a sharp pain dived for his organs, squeezing them like a hand would a stress ball. Something to relieve tension but doing anything but. "What- what happened?"

"Dude, you were hit by a quirk." It was Kirishima. The pain dulled ever so slightly and he finally looked around. He was indeed in a hospital, Kirishima, Iida and Mina were there along with his mother. "The woman was really sorry about it, it was honestly an accident."

"Accident?"

"Yeah-" Kirishima looked down and around, anywhere but at Bakugou. "-it's my fault honestly, we shouldn't have gone out today, you said you had better things to do... sorry. I bumped into a woman at the park, she used her quirk by accident and it flew straight past me and to you. It'll pass in a week though so don't worry." He forced a laugh, trying to make light of it. It was coming back now. Sort of, fragments of what he said matched his memories, not all of them. How strange.

"What does it-" he let out a strangled gasp for air-"it hurts it hurts it hurt. Holy sHit why..?" Another strangled sob "Why is this happening?"

His mother's voice was there again, a hand appeared at his temple. "Apparently you'll feel more pain the further away you are from the person you love the most." She smiled, he could almost hear it in her voice. That cocky grin she does when she's about to say something she thinks is funny but really isn't. "I'm almost hurt that I'm here and you're in pain. Does my baby Katsuki not love his mama?"

They could smell burning. "Stop it you old hag."

The hand left but he could sense the murmuring of movement. "I've called him so don't worry, you're lucky I have Inko's phone number. He'll be here soon."

Oh this isn't good. Bakugou sat bolt upright, "No... No why??? Why would you do that?"

Mina rushed over "Bakugou! Stop you'll hurt yourself! I'm sure whoever it is won't mind." She was almost on the verge of tears. The audacity he thought. Of her sitting here babbling like a baby while he was the one having his guts ripped out. Bakugou has never been this mad before. Not really.

"YOU CANT JUST GO CALLING HIM!" it shook the building.

"AND WHAT WOULD YOU RATHER I DO?! LET YOU SUFFER FOR A WEEK?!"

And this is how it starts. It's how it always starts between them, one of them does something, the other disapproves. They have a steaming match.

A brisk knock came to the door and suddenly all he could see was green. A boy entered, around their age, half a head shorter than Bakugou, a meek smile tugging at his lips and a pinkish hue scattered across his cheeks. "Sorry for taking so long." Huh. He was cute even.

Bakugou tisks, barely registered how the pain dissolved "I never asked you to come shitty Nerd." He rolled his eyes sending a glare to those in the room then his eyes were back on the boy. "Just leave. I don't need you."

"Katsuki!" Mitsuki could be one hell of a lawyer if she tried with that tone of hers, "Izuku is going to stay and you aren't doing to drive him away. How do you expect to become the best in school if even going there causes you pain!" She signed, this isn't what she signed up for "Izuku darling?" The others in the room picked up on the clear shift in tone "Could you please look after my idiot of a son? I know it'll be a hassle but..." she stood and grabbed one of Izuku's hands leading him to Bakugou "...it would be greatly appreciated and I'll make sure he makes it up to you"

The boy smiled. A genuine, less awkward one followed by a light hearted chuckle "Of course I'll look after him, isn't it funny Kacchan? I'll be protecting you for a change."

 


 

 So what happened to Bakugou?

Is he okay?

I hope a villain didn't get to him.

"Hey Kiri can we hurry this up already we all want to know what happened!"

They were all gathered in the communal area of their little complex, all of 3A ready for the news. They'd all heard bits and pieces of the evening but not yet the full story: Bakugou was hit with a quirk and not doing well, that was the last of the news they'd gotten. They may not see eye-to-eye when it came to Bakugou but.. he has an important asset to their team, it was important they all knew what he was doing through and how they could help, the same went for everyone.

Kirishima stepped up onto their makeshift platform on the coffee table, everyone gathered 'round. They could feel the worry as it radiated off themselves. "Okay listen up everyone. Bakugou was hit by a quirk that'll last a week. He'll feel pain whenever he's not around the person he loves most. The pain is proportional to distance apparently so the closer they are the better he is, the further they are well... "the sounds of his friend's screams filled his mind. "We'll make sure that it doesn't get to that right guys?"

There was a murmur or responses then "So who does he love most then?" Mineta generally seemed disinterested in their class meetings so this was odd. "I mean, it has to be some babe he was on the side right, some cute girl who'll come here and I can-"

There he goes again being an unbearable twat but he did have a point, who was this mystery person? Uraraka spoke up "Does this mean Bakugou won't be having classes with us for the week?" They all knew how important their training was. Any time off would result in laborious amounts of catch up work and extra lessons and even he didn't deserve those.

Mina interjected "It's a guy-" she bounced towards the coffee table clambering up the boxes stacked high. "Around our age, apparently his name's Izuku Midoriya." A fond smile came over her "He seems really nice too, Ms Bakugou's told us how those two have been friends forever basically. As for the whole school stuff, Midoriya will be coming into our classes and staying at the dorms for the week and that's what we wanted to talk about."

Iida stepped up to the podium next, it was almost funny the balancing act the three of them were attempting on the too tiny table "Midoriya will be a guest here for the next 7 days, I expect you all to be on your best behaviour and represent UA in a respectable manner. He's kindly taking time out of his school days to help our classmate out and we should respect that decision. Furthermore remember that he and Bakugou will now be together throughout the week so none of the usual roughhousing please as hero's in training we wouldn't want to being harm to civilians."

This all felt so formal. Like a hero meeting of sorts. They all agree, returning to their rooms, Bakugou would come home shortly after being discharged and they'll have one more addition to their family for a while, just another week in a hero in training life right?

 


 

They walked side by side arms brushing against one another, Izuku letting his large carryon thump against his knees as he strode, short puffs of breath puffing out their lips like clouds piercing an ocean, a sort of tension drifted between them. They'd had a whole meeting with Mitsuki, Inko and Aizawa, the whole ordeal seeming so unknown to Izuku, Bakugou's homeroom teacher scared him shitless with his glares and remarks. Afterwards, having set it all up and signing paperwork he was finally given a visitors pass and both were allowed to make the trip to the class dorms. It was all so daunting, Izuku knew he was the one to agree to this but how could he not? His boyfriend was physically suffering without him, he had to... he wanted to. After the new year started they'd been seeing each other less and less, him studying Criminal psychology and law while Bakugou was on the road to being the best hero there could ever be. Much better than All Might he added.

Izuku let out a chuckle, bitter and foreign from him, he buried his face further into his scarf. It's like they were kids again, how they were acting. They'd been going out since the day they left middle school and so with a good 2 years under their belts you'd think they'd be better at communicating right? Well you wouldn't be wrong. When they were on their own — no one interrupting, no pressures or inner demons — they were perfectly happy and fine. But as soon as something came up they'd become all different? Like now for example, Bakugou in any normal circumstance would shower Izuku in praise and affection at any point he could get his hands on his adorable boyfriend alone, or at least hold hands especially considering the cold weather. And had that been the case now, if his Kacchan were doting him in love and happiness at the prospect of being near him for such a long period of time Izuku wouldn't have been quite as nervous however that was not the case.

Katsuki had been ignoring him since they left the hospital. "They don't know about me do they?" Izuku asked trying to sound indifferent, trying not to seem too hurt, because he knew how much this must've been eating his boyfriend up inside too. Bakugou quickened his pace letting Izuku fumble behind before stumbling to catch up. "Kacchan?" He grabbed ahold of the explosive blonde's wrist "What's wrong? Do-do you really not want me here?"

Bakugou grunted looking to Izuku as though the answer were obvious, brows furrowed in contemplation. "No. I don't." He rasped. He stormed ahead ignoring the achy feeling in his heart, the pink in his cheeks, the way the other looked at him like he'd just shattered his heart, the quickening of footfall behind him stopping just short of his side. Bakugou signed, this isn't what he wanted. He turnbed catching Izuku by the waist leaning in to capture the boy's lips. He leaned away, not daring to look his boyfriend in the eye, too ashamed to even try. "Sorry.. didn't mean that."

Izuku smiled, a sad smile sure but he understood, tried to at least. Katsuki was always difficult, they were friends then not so much friends before becoming friends again and then something more. It happened before UA. Before his dreams were crushed. Izuku would be lying if he said that there wasn't some part of him resenting the days to come, the days that could have been his if only fate worked in much different ways. He gripped his Kacchan's shirt, pulling him close with ease to hide his face scrunch in dread. They stayed like that for a beat, Bakugou being the first to pull back, resting a hand against Izuku's cheek, breathing in his calm air.

“I just- don't want you to get hurt or anythin'." He knew his boyfriend wasn't weak but still, it was dangerous at the school, some people could be less merciful towards the quirkless when riled up and he certainly knew that all too well. "-promise me you won't get hurt?" The grimace on the blonde's face turned to a grin as the greenette hastily nodded, enuthusiastically throwing his arms around his counterpart.

The blonde was shoved to the floor with an thud as the smaller of the two wormed into his arms, wrapping his own around the broader shoulders of Katsuki.. his Kacchan.  "I promise.. I mean how can I ever get hurt if I have the strongest most brave future hero by my side?"

Bakugou let out a groan followed by a "Stupid Deku...", as Izuku giggled. Locking lips with the boy he was straddling into a kiss. The sweet moment finally came to an end however, it was nearing 9pm and making out with his adorable boyfriend outside his dorms isn't exactly how Bakugou planned on coming out. And so the green haired boy got off the blonde, offering a hand to pull him up. An audible fond scoff came from Bakugou, he laced his fingers with the smaller, and pulled himself up cornering Izuku in one last kiss, murmuring hot and hard into the shell of Izuku's ear "Thats right, you're mine Baby. Don't let any of those Extras convince you otherwise."

Izuku shivered, the warmth of Bakugous quirk always something greatly appreciated. From afar it'd probably seem like Izuku had no control in this relationship but oh man they couldn't be more wrong. Izuku Midoriya knew where all of his boyfriend's buttons were and was never afraid to go around pressing all of them much to the chagrin of the fierce blond. Izuku dragged a hand up Katsuki's side, tantalisingly slow, letting it drape around his neck so he could rock up and sear a kiss onto his boyfriends neck, murmuring a breathy, "Same goes for you Kitten."

He even had the gall to laugh at Katsuki's blushed demeanour, skipping ahead like a kid on Halloween just waited to devour what's his, and you don't need me to explain who exactly the treats were in this analogy.

Chapter Text

 The lights in the dorm glowed like fireflies, bumbling figures passing by the windows casting shadows of darkness. Katsuki and Izuku were tired, exhausted. And honestly right now might not have been the best time to try and become chummy, unfortunately for them as soon as they stepped through the threshold of the dorms, door still hanging open in the breeze they were bombarded with a hoard of people unanswered questions thrown into the air. 

 

Are you okay?

 

Who's this guy you love so much?

 

He's nothing like what I thought he'd be like...

 

Izuku instinctively backtracked, shielding himself away behind Katsuki who in turn held out a protective arm between the crowd and the boy knowing full well how his anxiety must of been going through the roof. "Back off would you, you're freaking the nerd out." earnestness uncharacteristic of the spiked blond added with the overall lack of screaming was enough to make them too backtrack. Katsuki groaned, 'of course this wouldn't be easy'.   

 

The commotion drew in the rest of the class previously tucked away in the kitchen , among them Kirishima bound into the hallway yelling "Bakugou's back!" signature smirk playing at his lips he stormed passed the crowd ignoring the warnings of others, catching Katsuki by the shoulders to forcefully try and drag him into away from the doorway his attempts drowned as Katsuki let out a choked scream stumbling to the ground. He turned, they all did. This yet again was something uncharacteristic of the loud mouth teen. Katsuki never screamed in pain only victory or frustration."Bakug-"

 

"-Kacchan!" Izuku stumbled to Katsuki's side cradling his head between his scarred hands, then letting it lull into the crook of his neck, so his hands could rub circles into his back. 

 

Katsuki's ragged breath calmed enough for him to register what had happen. He glared daggers in Kirishima's direction. "What the FUCK shitty hair!" 

 

"I-I wasn't thinking! Sorry dude I just saw you and got real excited that's all!" 

 

Bakugou looked like he was going to rebut when Tsuyu stepped forward offering Izuku a smile. "Bakugou, why don't you introduce us to your friend?" Bakugou's eyes widened momentarily as he shook off Izuku's caressing hands, a tinge of pink lingering in his cheeks, out of pain? Or perhaps embarrassment? Who can say. 

 

He groaned, "Fine-" helping Izuku to his feet he waved a hand vaguely in his direction, avoiding eye contact with the population in the room. "-this is Izuku Midoriya, any of you mess with him and I'll break your spines got that?" Short, sweet and straight to the point. "I'll now accept three questions, that's all you shits are getting gOT IT?!"

 

"How much does it hurt?" Dumb question No.1 by Kaminari who would've guessed. 

 

"Fuck loads, next question."

 

"Do you think you can even last a week without being destructive? Taking care of a civilian in a hero environment such as ours can be testing and even though I know this is mandatory I don't believe that with you're track record you are capable of-" 

 

"Ergh, spare me the lecture four eyes, I can totally do this. Last question losers so make this count."

 

"Why is he the person you love the most?" Wasted question No.3 submitted by none other than the waste of space Mineta Minoru, how oddly fitting. 

 

Now this answer did gain a few wide eyes and gaping mouths. Katsuki barked out a laugh, eyes gleaming with mischief "Why, ya jealous? Perv."

 

"Midoriya? We don't know you too well but are you sure you wanna do this? Bakugou can be a handful.." Uraraka felt out of place interjecting but honestly her experiences with the explosive teen weren't the best. She didn't fear him by any means but still — he wasn't someone anyone should take lightly.

 

"Um..." Izuku stumbled knowing full well this was a soft spot for Katsuki, they'd already had their fair share of concerned glances and questioning stares from people who knew about them, the same concern coming from people who were none the wiser somehow stung more.

Katsuki interjected, a bitter tone in his deep voice "It's none of your business Round face so leave it would ya?"

 

Bakugou sneered at the faces they pulled in annoyance and so he grabbed the smaller boy by the sleeve with one hand and his luggage with the other and began to drag him to his room. "C'mon, stupid Deku. I don't wanna deal with these extras right now."

 

"O-oh Okay!" He turned flashing the group a timid smile "Sorry, guess we can talk more tomorrow?" Before letting anymore respond he turned back trying to get back in step with his boyfriend, hurriedly murmuring something into his ear too quite for the class to hear, to their surprise Bakugou just grunted in response despite the proximity. The class continued to watch on trailing the pair to the elevators, letting the doors close with a thud before speaking their minds aloud. 

 

"What. The. FUCK just happened?" 

 

"Sero language!"

 

"Sorry Iida but this is a code fucking red! What's happened to him he's being so.. so tame? He's letting someone get close to him, someone he apparently loves! And he- he even carried his stuff for him! You've gotta admit that it's a bit weird for him to be so considerate."

 

"I'll admit that it's uncharacteristic of Bakugou yes. But I believe that it just simply means he cares for this person greatly."

 

Mina tenderly wrapped an arm around Sero's, looking to him apologetically "Sorry Sweets but I agree with Iida, Bakugou's just like the rest of us and he's allowed to have his soft moments." She then addressed the class "You guys weren't there but Kirishima, Iida and I were, the pain he was in before Midoriya arrived was unimaginable, it - it really hurt to watch." The grin wobbled. "So I was really happy when Midoriya showed up and Bakugou became his usual Bakugou. I think it's nice, how he has someone. And Ochako, I love you but I think what you said hurt him a little, I know you had good intentions but... I don't think you have to worry." 

 

Uraraka nodded clutching at her pyjama shorts "I do feel bad now... I should apologise you're right." Iida gave her a light rub on the shoulder, throwing her a smile. 

 

They most likely didn't have anything to worry about. It was only going to be a week, seven days, that was perfectly fine. Jirou yawned, grabbing Momo and Hagakurai "Well this has been fun but let's call it a day, training has me beat you people do what you want but keep it down."

 

"I agree we should leave it for now," Iida punctuated it with a swift closing of the front door, watching as everyone left either into the common room, kitchen or elsewhere. The mystery of the angry blond and timid greenette could be solved at breakfast for all he cared.

 


 

 

Izuku revelled at the size of the dorms, running a hand along the walls of the corridor to Bakugou's room, feeling the paint against his fingers and way the air smelt. He appreciated how this was the path his Kacchan took each day to and from his room. He wanted to soak in the atmosphere to feel familiarity with Katsuki's familiarities. Izuku grinned down to where he was being tugging along, if he wanted he could just shake his arm and the blond's grip would loosen. He found a great appreciation in that. 

 

"We're here.." Bakugou's voice was meek, almost embarrassed. Izuku thought back to the last time they got to spend a night together, it'd been about two months ago at his mothers place, and despite being ever grateful for her hospitality, the endless amounts of intrusions into his room every five minutes by the well meaning lady swore the two of them off all intimacy that night and before they knew it, it was morning and begrudging goodbyes were given. 

 

Bakugou stepped into the room, letting Izuku trail in after him letting his eyes wander through the dark room. The room wasn't anything special really, there was a medium sized bed pushed up against the wall, neatly made, a large wheelie chair parked at a desk beneath a window, the blinds drawn. A floor length mirror opposite the foot of the bed. No pictures on the walls but posters of  pro heroes: Red Riot, 13, Best Jeanist, All Might. 

 

He couldn't help but be at least a little dejected at the idea of Bakugou's room completely void of his own boyfriend's existence. The door closed behind them with a thud and Izuku let out a breath as two secure arms wound themselves around his waist. "Can we just sleep now, please.." this was the Bakugou that only Izuku knew. The soft one, the one that leisurely trailed kisses down his neck and warm hands round his body, the one who rarely raised his voice and let himself loose. 

 

"If that's what you want Kitten." They stripped off down to their boxers in the dark, bumping about trying to find a comfortable sleeping position in the less than adequately sized bed for one. They eventually worked it out though, Bakugou was pressed to the wall, Izuku in his arms, legs intertwined, sharing a pillow, sharing a duvet, sharing a moment. Izuku pressed his forehead to Katsuki's, kissing him long and slow, backing away but only slightly.  He brought a hand up to the others cheek, letting a fond smile lift his lips as his boyfriend feverishly leaned into it. "Such a Kitten." He cooed.

 

"I'm sorry," Bakugou's eyes fluttered open, red meeting green. "For being so loud, for saying I didn't want you 'ere." He sighed as Izuku abandoned his cheek to pet a hand through his hair, soothing, lulling his eyes back closed. 

 

"It's okay Kacchan, I was a bit upset but I'm fine now." 

 

Bakugou's hands were back around his middle, pulling him closer so he could bury his nose into Izuku's wild mess of hair. "If I'm being too much tell me Nerd, we've ever spent this much time together — ever. So if you get sick of me just leave, I can handle the pain." He punctuated that with a searing kiss to the neck, hands more possessively pressed against Izuku's back in an attempt to be as close as possible. "I know I can be a burden to you." He buried his head into Izuku's shoulder letting out a rugged breath, voice scratchy "I'm sorry."

 

This was something else Izuku discovered Bakugou only ever revealed to him, his regret, his anxiety, his pain. Izuku knew it wasn't healthy, having only one outlet for this stuff would never be enough with the colossal responsibility of pro heroing looming over their heads. But Izuku did all he could to be the best damn outlet you've ever seen. He did as best he could to wrap his arms around Bakugou's broader frame, rubbing circles soothing on his back, murmuring praises. The days of their somewhat rocky middle school life weren't necessary behind them, every so often if angry or frustrated Bakugou would revert acutely back into what he was, all those years ago, an uncontrollable explosion of toxic flames. 

 

Those metaphorical flames terrified Izuku, they never dared touch him but every so often he'd see their embers in the way Bakugou's eyes gleamed while he snarled or feel it's heat when he raised his voice above a certain level. Those embers reminded him of a Kacchan that he sometimes wasn't too fond of remembering. But since then his Kacchan had grown, he'd changed, he'd bloomed. Izuku continued his petting until he could hear the others breathing even and feel the grip on his body loosen, gingerly he placed the softest of kisses to his forehead. "Don't worry Kacchan-" it was a butterfly of a whisper,"-You're not the only one who feels like they're being a burden."

 


 

 

The winter was such crystalline joy, the brilliant rays of cold sunshine that highlighted the uniqueness of every snowflake that graced the earth, the early nights, the late mornings. It was the time of puddles that become transient skating rinks and for thoughts to remain cozy within a woollen hat. The days of frosty fingers and mugs of hot chocolate. At least — that's what Izuku thought, Katsuki's image of winter however differed. He'd rather stay indoors than explore the world in snow, the cold bit at his arms and legs, attacked his nose and ears with pink blushes. Winter’s a time when manoeuvring became ten times harder and his motions became sluggish. He much preferred the heat of summertime mayhem. Winter bore into his energy. Made him shiver and quake, like someone who was weak he thought. He absolutely loathed it.

 

That's not saying that Katsuki hated the cold and Izuku didn't, Izuku revered the cold when alone, but with someone by his side the cold seemed that bit more tolerable and he was sure Katsuki felt the same way. 

 

It was early, early enough for the sun to still shy away beneath her horizon. They probably still had an hour or so. But for now they were holed up under the duvet, cherishing the warm created between their pressed bodies, that bit of time yet to slip out of their grasps. 

 

The heating in the dorms wasn't the best, Bakugou and Tsuyu found themselves complaining numerous times but to no avail, she at this point had given up on getting the school to sort it and opted for the alternative of just buying another heater along with extra fluffy blankets. Katsuki Bakugou was less adaptable. And now he found himself a shivering mess, a heater-less shivering mess, even when buried securely into his duvet and snuggled up close to his other. 

 

"That fucking Aizawa, not getting me a fucking heater, fucking bullshit," he groaned through clenched teeth, burying his face into Izuku's neck to steal away the cold at the tip of his nose.

 

Sleepy eyed Izuku glanced around, in a dream haze, the curtains were still drawn but at the angel he was at he could peak underneath them to see the first sparks of dawn. He heard his Kacchan grumbling into his skin, murmuring non-threatening complains into his flesh. Izuku swallowed the sleep from his tongue, lazily sighing a "Good morning to you too, Kacchan.."

 

Katsuki's arms firmly wrapped around his waist, trailing lazy kisses across his neck, down his freckled shoulder. "Sorry 'zuku didn't mean to wake ya." 

 

"Don't care. But Kacchan, your hair tickles," he whined attempting to pry his hands away to get at least a little more breathing space.

 

"No, you're warm."

 

Izuku just sighed in return, settling back into his place in Katsuki's hold wriggling until he was comfortable again. A few seconds ticked by in silence, only the sounds of their breathing and shuffling combined with the howl of the wind to accompany them. "Kacchan," Izuku croaked, he coughed to clear his throat. "Katsuki?" 

 

Katsuki hummed to signal he was paying attention. Leisurely drawing fiery swirls across the others skin, hot and distracting. When Izuku didn't continue, Katsuki shifted so that he could get a proper look at his Izuku. He seemed deep in thought, eyebrows furrowed in contemplation. Katsuki raised a hand to rub at the others temple as if trying to ward away Izuku's unease. "What's wrong?"

 

"What if they don't like me?"

 

"Stupid Deku. How could anyone not like you?"

 

"I'm quirkless.. and weak."

 

"Ya got me so there's nothing to stress about nerd, and you’re not weak. Trust me when it comes to brain power and strategy you’ve got them beat. They’re nothing compared to you even if you’re quirkless.” Izuku found comfort in these words but he couldn’t help the memories that came bubbling up to the surface. Memories he never wanted to remember, ones that made him feel bitter and disgusting on the inside for remembering them.

 

 Do you think I can be a hero too?

 

I'm sorry Izuku, I wish things were different. 

 

His dreams may have been shattered but that didn’t mean they were gone, now the broken remnants lingered scattered on the floor, ripping into his feet trailing blood wherever he stepped. He knew they wouldn't come true, that's why he studied criminal psychology, he wanted to be a hero in his own right, working up to become the best hero analytic anyone had ever seen. That way he could work along side them, help people in ways he knew he could.

 

They lay there for a few more tender minutes, Bakugou continuing his loving antics, mouthing silent unheard praises again his flesh. Izuku knew Katsuki meant what he said, in the end it was things like this, mornings like these that facilitated in his mind the idea that Katsuki really did love him. Which was always enough to banish those invading thoughts. The peaceful silence however was interrupted by the most jarring sound he'd ever heard blaring into his right ear. The alarm at their bed side rotated between about five different annoying noises of varying pitch and volume, more akin to a disco for the anti-christ than a gentle awakening.

 

Izuku covered his ears “You wake up this early?”

 

Katsuki scoffed loudly, looming over Izuku to switch off the source of the noise. He grinned down at his lover, hair a tangled mess, cheeks flushed, a sleepy smile quirking his lips, soft eyes trailing his every move, boy did Bakugou think he was lucky. "Time to get up, Sleepy Head." 

 

Izuku giggled breathlessly placing a hand against the side of Katsuki's face, mindlessly caressing his cheek with his thumb, staring deep into his eyes feeling all tension melt. Katsuki leaned down leaving a soft kiss against his lips.

 

This was the kind of morning they craved, lazily their tongues meld together, sighing into it Katsuki stroked a hand through the forest of green. All of this a soft, and sweet promise to always be there. They broke the kiss for a moment. Stared longingly at each other, knowing they have to relent soon to brace the day ahead. Their soft make out was again sadly interrupted by a loud banging at the door and hushed whispers. 

 

Huffing in annoyance Katsuki threw the blanket off himself and onto Izuku. Cussing as he struggled to put on his pants. 

 

"What the fuck do you losers want?!"

 

They heard the commotion die down and Karishima's voice cut through the air. "Um it's just me and Ochako, we wanted to talk to you for a minute.. if you don't mind."

 

 Izuku feeling his confidence fade at the thought of others intruding pulled the duvet up all the way to his nose curling into himself towards the door. This way he could still marvel at the sight ahead of him. Katsuki's muscles tightening and relaxing, hair even more untamed than usual, letting out soft grunts and groans as he began to hide his thighs within his trademark Yuuei school uniform. Izuku could imagine if only they had more time those thighs being locked back around his hips, holding him down while he rocked into his body, sweat slipping down his chest, mouthing marks into his skin, a playful grin teasing his cheeks. He shifted further below the sheets as he watched Katsuki open the door letting unwanted light flitter out of the hallway and into the room. He threw those thoughts out the window, felt wrong to think them in the company of others.

 

Katsuki tisked in annoyance at their arrival. "What do you fuckers want?" He didn't open the door fully, shielding Izuku's form with his own body. He glared daggers into the pair at the door. 

 

Ochako reeled back at Bakugou's soft dishevelled state, she fiddled with her hands "Oh Bakugou! We wanted to check up on you and Midoriya!"

 

Katsuki rolled his eyes. "We're fine Floaty."

 

Kirishima pressed forward trying to sneek a peek into the dark unlit room, eyes trailing the lump under his best friend's sheets. "Dude, Did he sleep in your bed?"

 

Bad idea. Bakugou growled a low. "Yeah. And?" Blocking the view further, clearly signalling to back off. 

 

Kirishima got the hint and backed away, nudging Ochako to do the same. He cleared his throat "Look man, Sorry about yesterday, I didn't mean to drag you away from Midoriya, I just wasn’t thinking. Wasn’t very manly of me."

 

"Yeah and I'm sorry too — for implying you wouldn't be able to handle it, being so close to someone for so long. But- it seems like you're doing just fine so I erm-"

 

Katsuki scoffed "Of course I can handle it, Extras. Don't ever underestimate me again." He glared at them until it felt like he was attempting to bore flames into their skin. "Is that all you wanted?"

 

"Oh y-yeah dude! Sorry for bothering you and you too Midoriya." Out of the corner of his eye he could see the bundle shift in acknowledgment.

 

Ochako, clapped her hands together, pinkies pointed away. "Well that was it, Sato is making pancakes for everyone so don't worry about breakfast!" And with that they scuttled away, the blunt slamming of a door behind them an indicator that they had indeed nearly met a fate worse than death and survived. 

 

Chapter Text

Momo, Mina and Kaminari watched as Ochako and Kirishima came barrelling down into the common room, after a loud slam of a door practically shook the building. 

"How did the apologies go children?" Mina lent over the back of the couch welcoming Ochako into a good morning hug. "You're still alive so it couldn't have been too bad."

Ochako whined into Mina's hair. "It went as well as it could've but I thought we were for sure going to lose our heads. He looked so angry."

Kirishima nodded, slumping into the couch. "He was so protective of the guy while we were upstairs, I've honestly never seen him THAT grouchy in the morning."

"He's Bakugou, he's always grouchy." Mina laughed slinking away from Ochako's grasp to wander her way into the kitchen for her share of the pancakes. 

Kirishima joined Denki on the couch bundling himself into the cushions noticing the other's own stack of pancakes in hand. They still had a good hour before they'd have to leave the dorms, the majority of them still donning their pyjamas. "Hey guys I've been wondering don't you think it's suspicious that we've never even heard of this Midoriya guy before?" Denki thought absentmindedly. 

Momo took a sip of her tea, joining Ochako on the couch opposite the boys. "It's strange but didn't we agree not to pry too much?" 

Mina nodded in agreement, returning back, cozying herself up to Momo's side like a kid to a campfire "It's not like it's something we have to worry about, Bakugou can tell us about his friend when he's ready."

Kirishima knew what she was saying was true but still. "We know. It's just that he and I have been best buds since the first day of school and I feel a bit weird not knowing about this guy." He sighed "It's still strange though how close they are but I'm happy for him."

Ochako bobbed her head in agreement, flopping down on the end of the couch "Yeah I know what you mean, seeing Bakugou so nice is not a bad colour on him though. He even let Midoriya sleep in his bed which I think was nice of him."

"He WHAT!?" Kaminari sat wide eyed, gawking at the very idea. "Bakugou had a fucking aneurism when I sat on his desk last week!"

"Well it's true! Right Kirishima!" 

"Yeah it's true I could see him under the cover." Kirishima looked between them suddenly feeling guilt boil up in the pit of his stomach. "Do you think that maybe.. maybe he's embarrassed of us and that's why he doesn't want Midoriya to be around us." 

Mina kicked her feet against the soft fabric of the couch. "Maybe.. but if that's the case we just have to prove to him we aren't total failures then he should open up right?" she sounded optimistic. 

Before Kirishima could respond the sound of the elevator opening pulled them from their thoughts. It was Bakugou, in his uniform, Izuku trailing behind in silence. Izuku staying just a step behind letting Bakugou lead the way into the kitchen. The more aggressive of the two swerved his head to make sure the other was following and frowned at Izuku's nervousness, he lagged behind so that they walked in step, sneering at the squad forming in the common room as Izuku gave an apologetic wave. 

They disappeared into the kitchen, and Momo stood. "I'm going to get ready for class, I suggest you guys eat." She walked into the kitchen depositing her tea cup into the sink not missing the way Izuku's smile brightened as Bakugou leaned in to tell him something. 

She left and the Bakusquad (minus Sero and plus Uraraka) entered. They silently watched, shuffling in, trying oh so hard to just blend into the walls but doing anything but. They weren't noticed immediately, Bakugou was fixing two servings of pancakes while Izuku sat and watched, taking inventory of the room. 

It was sleek, professionally designed, but not quite bespoke, there were granite counters on an island, stainless steel appliances. The funding for the dorms undoubtedly was massive Izuku presumed. It wasn't spotless, batter lay across the counters, a light splatter of flour across the floor. It was well equipped he noted, utensils on hooks, cups of varying colour and size and shape stashed away in a half open cupboard, there was a gentle swish from the dishwasher, an efficient hum of a refrigerator, a flower arrangement sat in the centre of the island, nothing superfluous, minimalistic, but you could tell they were cared for. It seemed warm in here, despite the increasingly barbaric cold beyond the windows. All of this was jotted down into his internal notebook. He hummed at the smell of pancakes, the warm mug of coffee Katsuki slid in front of him calming his thoughts. He smiled, the cup was forest green, he wondered if it was Kacchan's. 

 Izuku was the first to finally see them leaning away from Bakugou to give them a wave. He was propped up on a stool, a small smile played on his lips. "Um good morning!" his words were like vanilla pudding, sweet in an ordinary sort of way. Up until now the squad hadn't really pondered on what kind of person Midoriya was. What quirk did he have? What school did he go to? What prompted him into being something Bakugou valued? Now that they were up close they could give him a good looking over, his cheeks were rounded and freckled, and his eyes along with his hair reflected a deep comforting green. He wasn't too tall, standing half a head shorter than Bakugou. He wore black jeans, a simple plain grey hoodie, a visitors pass dangling on a lanyard round his neck. 

The group noted that he seemed friendly — approachable. 

Mina was the first to approach, discarding her breakfast to the side. "Hi, I'm Mina Ashido, it's nice to see you again Midoriya!" 

Bakugou sent her a glare which Midoriya punished by giving a swift elbowing to the ribs accompanied by a muttered 'behave.'Bakugou grumbled in response continuing his pancake stacking masterpiece. Midoriya turned back giving Mina a fond smile. "Mina, You were at the hospital right? Sorry we didn't get to speak much but thanks for looking after Kacchan until I got there." 

Mina beamed "Oh it's fine I didn't mind" 

Izuku chuckled "Mina.. well thanks again. You can totally just call me Izuku if you want by the way." He waved his hands in front of his face awkwardly as though nervous. He eyed the rest of the group, scanning their faces searching for names. "And you guys are.. Kaminari, Kirishima and Uraraka right?" 

They were slightly taken aback. Denki nodded enthusiastically "Yeah man how'd you know?"

Midoriya grinned sheepishly throwing a look towards Bakugou that none of them could quite decipher before carefully constructing his next words. "I.. watch all the news feeds and tournaments Kacchan is in, after two years of watching you guys I guess your names kinda began to stick?" 

Uraraka stepped closer to the counter, everyone seeming to have forgotten about the unusually tranquil Bakugou,"Wow you've seen all of them? You and Bakugou must be really close!" Izuku sent Bakugou yet another look as the blond shuffled closer placing the beautifully constructed tower of pancakes in front of him, topped with strawberries and syrupy sauce. 

Izuku smiled at the gesture. It's not even like he asked his boyfriend to do it, he just did out of kindness. Bakugou was always kinder than people expected, kinder than even he knew. Yet another reason he loved him. "Oh I don't know-" His tone innocent with an undertone of anything but "-are we close Kacchan?"  He even put on his best puppy dog eyes. 

That bastard Bakugou thought, holding in a flirty comeback like it was a toxic sneeze.  He knows exactly what he's doing. Bakugou snorted, shovelling a piece of his breakfast into his mouth. "You wish." 

The others took their own seats around the counter, Uraraka and Kirishima reaching for their own share of breakfast. Mina beamed at how laid back Bakugou's response was. "So-" she cooed. "-Izuku what are you studying right now?" 

Izuku was relieved it wasn't more prying questions about his and Katsuki's relationship, he was sure the blond wouldn't be able to stay quite so composed through another one of those conversations. "I'm studying psychology and law right now, while working part time at a hero agency."

"At a hero agency?" Kirishima lent in, not wanting to pry but finding it hard not to. In all actuality he — despite his carefree and open demeanour — was conflicted. He and Bakugou had been friends for years, gone hiking together, found summer jobs together, and he'd never had the slightest inclination this Midoriya guy even existed. He knew his best friend was a guy of extremes, he was either in or out and that certainly applied to friendships. From what he gathered someone had to be worth something to be dubbed worthy of his time, they'd have to be powerful in some way right? In order to gain his respect. So how did this kinda awkward guy gain his respect? Was it really just simply because they were childhood friends or was there something more? 'Maybe this dude has some super awesome quirk.'

"Yeah Sir Nighteye's hero agency, I'm trying to become a hero Analyst, basically studying fights and quirk related crimes to help determine what happened, and I've spent a few summers working on I-Island under some amazing psychologists. But that's nothing compared to what you guys do at UA!" He brushed his own accomplishments aside shovelling a forkful of pancakes into his mouth as though trying to shut himself up. He knew his ramblings got on people's nerves often and he had yet to test how much these people would be able to put up with. 

He was pulled from his thoughts however when Katsuki's presence shifted closer to mumble a hushed "Its Fine." Under his breath. Here comes Katsuki again, always there to relieve his anxiety whenever it threatened to boil over. 

Kirishima watched this exchange and piped up again. "That's amazing Midoriya! You must really be smart then."

Izuku looked up giving him an appreciative smile. "Thanks Kirishima, but I wouldn't consider myself to be a genius though. Working with Nighteye and his Foresight quirk proves that much." 

"Wait Nighteye?" Uraraka chimed in. "Where have I heard that name before?" 

"He was one of All Might's sidekicks Idiots." Bakugou hissed. 

Oh great. Izuku internally groaned, anxiety being replaced with that same ugly resentment from earlier. All Might. 

"ONE OF ALL MIGHTS SIDE KICKS!" Mina squealed, practically jumping in her seat. 

"Woah dude how'd you manage that!" Denki exclaimed, genuinely impressed. "We found it hard enough getting internships at hero agencies and we have provisional licenses and everything."

"O-oh it was hard. He made me do this really strange game of chess while he used his foresight."

"Chess? Surely he'd win though."

Izuku rubbed his neck out of nervousness  "yeah I had no chance but it was fun though." He thought aloud. "I could do anything I wanted to him during the game even destroy the room. I didn't win but he still hired me, said I made the game interesting," He fiddled with the strings to his hoodie " I don't know why the media always make him out to be some kind of heartless mastermind, he's really not that callous. We play a game whenever work is slow, last week it was scrabble." He puffed out an airy laugh. "I think the guy just likes a challenge honestly. I've only ever won once but I had to do him really dirty to get the win." 

Well that was ominous. They were all probably forming horrifying scenes of what he must've done to get one of the smartest hero in the world to yield. Threatened his life? Used a quirk? Blackmail? Honestly the ideas were endless. Izuku mused at the mild terror across their faces, if only they knew all he actually had to do was casually insult All Might throughout the game until the Hero lost his dignity by flipping the board mid-game to begin a thorough schooling on how incorrect he was. He didn't technically win but it's the closest he was ever going to get. 

"Anyway... it's a great opportunity and I've gotten so much out of it, Kacchan even got to work with me for a few weeks last year-"

"It was dull and we barely saw any action Deku." 

"Kacchan. You're just salty because you couldn't ever get Nighteye to laugh-" 

"Oh yea-"

Kirishima had to take a pause drowning out the rest of their back and forth bickering  — he'd been hearing these nicknames a lot, "Deku" and "Kacchan". Deku he could understand, it was short, insulting, he wouldn't be surprised if poor Izuku was the very first person to be subjected to Bakugou's poor nicknaming abilities. But Kacchan? that was a rather cute nickname for the Explosive wannabe Hero. The diminutive nickname "Kacchan" didn't seem like the kind of thing Bakugou would appreciate as a pet name. 

"Kacchan?" Kirishima questioned grinning "That's such a cute name Bakubro, if you're lucky I might just start calling you that too." He was teasing but he could sense again that he'd struck a nerve, this really wasn't his week. "Or not. Just kidding Dude!"

Mina sensing the tension coughed far louder than need be to turn attention away from the red head. "Sooo "Kacchan" where did that name come from?"

"As kids I found his name hard to say so I just started to call him Kacchan, I guess I don't think about it much now. You don't mind me still calling you that right Katsuki?"

"No, of course not Idiot." Katsuki shook his hand back and forth to alleviate some of the panic. There was a possibility he was going to get teased for the nickname, but in the end who cared, the name had grown on him. 

Mina beamed, "Sorry If the question seemed invasive but I was just curious since it's such a cute pet name — you must’ve met quite young's then huh? How long exactly have you two known each other?"

"Kacchan and I have known each other our entire lives," Izuku said, staring at his hands, he rubbed his thumb against a scar carved into his palm. "My mother and Kacchan's parents are friends. They live in the same neighbourhood so we've been going to the same schools as one another all the way up until the end of middle school." 

"Ahh that must've been nice." 

They continued their pleasantries for a while longer, them talking about hero courses, Izuku adding in little anecdotes here and there. Overall it was quite the nice introduction. Bakugou listened intently to everything Izuku was saying, like he always did, somehow the nerd’s voice always seemed to calm him down, always pulled him out of that rut. He paid attention to their body language and the way they spoke. They seemed to be getting along well enough, and genuinely interested in him, he watched as Mina shifted into their space, perhaps too interested, maybe this was a mistake. Uraraka seemed hesitant but it wasn't like they were really friends so who cared. But then there was Kirishima, the dude had been acting shifty ever since Deku arrived, his words had less colour and the fact that Kirishima was bothered by Deku bothered Katsuki. 

To be honest there was a lot there to be bothered by. The first being his coming out, one of them would slip up eventually it was just a matter of how and when. Izuku was less fearful of it having gone through all of it already some years ago with his own friends, family and colleagues, but he understood Katsuki’s struggle none the less. Katsuki’s other problem was with sharing. Now that they knew about Izuku they’d all want to know more, they’d find him interesting, become friends, invite him out, and then all of a sudden he’d be everyone’s to love.

Katsuki would never admit it but... it made him feel irritatingly inferior — the thought of them taking him away settled an uneasy feeling into the pit of his stomach. The pain had an unpleasant warmth to it, like tiny tremors of his own explosions sparking chain reactions in his gut. There was nausea too, just enough to make him lie awake on lonely nights, tossing and turning, frustrated and cold. That feeling owned him. Even in the warmth of the bustling dorm, he was cold, the feeling was inescapable it seemed. 

Bakugou grumbled something under his breath that sounded suspicious like fuck this shit and stood , "Come on Deku we don't have all day."

"I thought we didn't have to leave for like another half hour?" 

Bakugou cleared their plates away glaring at the growing commotion in the common room. "It's about to get busy, let's get our stuff and leave." 

"Whatever you say Kacchan." He hoped off the seat, stepping close into Bakugou's space almost as though expecting something, Bakugou seemed almost flustered as he shifted back, tips of his ears heating up as he hissed a "No you idiot." Izuku was taken aback for a moment before suddenly remembering where he was and who was there. They gave their goodbyes and before anyone in the room knew what was happening the pair left.

Uraraka signed slumping into the counter, whining "We should probably get ready for class too guys. I need to go make sure Tsu hasn't started hibernating."

Mina threw her head back in disgust "Urgh noooooOoooo why can't school start later?"

It was nearing 8am, the sun had passed above the horizon, students were filing in for breakfast. So far nothing had gone wrong, but this was only morning one.

Chapter Text

Katsuki was tired of all the chit chat. It was droning on for far too long and small talk was never his thing. He cleared their plates away glaring at the growing commotion in the common room, getting a sort of anxiety rise at the prospect of sharing Izuku with anyone else just yet. He turned to Izuku, almost feeling bad for pulling him out of his engaging conversation. "It's about to get busy, let's get our stuff and leave.”

 

"Whatever you say Kacchan." Bakugou watched as he hoped off the seat, stepping close into Bakugou's space almost as though expecting something. A kiss. He was expecting a kiss, or more specifically he was expecting Bakugou to lean in, so that he could dote his own thank you kiss. "No you idiot." He could see how Izuku was taken aback for a moment before suddenly remembering where he was and who was there. The disappointment stayed however. Bakugou felt guilty, but this wasn't how he wanted to come out, not yet, not right now, but soon. They gave their goodbyes and before anyone in the room knew what was happening they left. 

 

Katsuki shifted his gaze over to Izuku at the first chance he got, he looked content with how the morning had gone, they got in the elevator and the second the doors closed Izuku found his lips attacked when Katsuki filled the gap between then, pressing their lips together tightly in a fierce embrace of emotion. This kiss was different to the drawn out waves of lips and tongue from the morning. More rough. Desperate almost. Hot hands curled deep into his waist, claiming him, as if he wasn't already his to begin with. The elevator reached their floor and they stopped shy of the steel clad doors opening. Katsuki pulled away, looked to Izuku all kissed bruised and ravaged suddenly becoming sheepish.  Katsuki smirked "Isn't that what you wanted Nerd?" 

 


 

Despite his earlier confidence Katsuki grew more worried with every step. They'd left the dorms, bundled up in layers upon layers, backpacks slung over shoulders, fuelled by chase kisses and loving words. Izuku trotted alongside him, he could see his eyes darting around, his hand twitching against his pant leg as if writing invisible words into a nonexistent notebook. 

 

Izuku was prone to overthinking, his anxiety shooting through the roof on occasion, he was worried this was too much, that he was asking too much of him for being here. 

 

He knew how desperately Izuku wanted to be a hero, how shattered he was when he eventually gave in to the fact that it was never going to happen. He never said why he gave up, just one day a few months before the entrance exams he stopped, stopped trying to be a pro. Katsuki asked once what gave him that push, he said someone opened his eyes. He never asked again. 

 

He thought about it though, asking again, once their relationship got better and a year had past but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. The first time he asked was two weeks after they first started dating, the day of the entrance exams, he remembered the phone call clear as day. He was lying on his bed, Izuku had called to wish him good luck, to tell him he was proud. Back then Katsuki knew he was a bitch, even after they started dating he was still all sharp edges towards Izuku. He couldn't even imagine treating him like that now.

 

"Of course I'm going to pass, I don't need luck!"

 

I know, I know. But I thought I could at least try giving you some. 

 

"Don't worry, I don't need luck from a Deku."

 

I know you don't. Sorry for bothering you. 

 

He remembered being all riled up and anxious for the exam. These weren't the words he wanted to say. 

 

"Wait Deku? I've been thinkin'"

 

Dangerous, be careful the sarcasm in his voice always a good indicator that he wasn’t too hurt by Katsuki’s words.

 

"Tsk shut up, I wanted to know why you gave up on UA. I thought it was your big dream or somthin', so why'd you give in the towel like it was nothin'?" He should've put it more lightly, Izuku's response still haunted him to that day. 

 

Because someone opened my eyes, Katsuki." 

 

"But-"

 

Sorry I have to go... and then he hung up. 

 

Katsuki remembered being angry, furious with himself for being so callous, in a way the entrance exams were a good thing, they let him release all that pent up rage. Izuku ignored him afterwards, it was probably for the best, it left Katsuki time to think about things, somewhere inside himself he always thought he was the someone that made Izuku give up.

 

Katsuki looked over to Izuku again a fond smile played at his lips, he'd be damned if anyone saw, he was still thinking about things and it seemed Izuku was too. 

 


 

Izuku noted the trees that surrounded the path, straight and uniform, the school building in the distance, grandiose and towering. Like a modern colosseum, shaping heroes. The air was crisp, the grass seasoned with a dusting of frost. 

 

Katsuki made sure Izuku stayed close, his movements stiffening as they entered a stream of others also meandering into the school. Some gave his Deku looks, curious, probing. He didn't like that. Didn't like how vulnerable it made Izuku, or how much that vulnerability rubbed off on him. It reminded him that his boyfriend was a stranger to this place that felt so much like home. He quickened his pace, wanted to just get rid of the intrusive eyes by getting to his class as soon as possible. The longer they stayed the more he thought that possibly.. maybe.. perhaps they knew about him and Deku. The thought of people gossiping about it made his stomach churn. 

 

He kept going, a growing determination in his step. Throwing glances back every so often to see Izuku wasn't lagging behind. Everything's fine he thought. Izuku said he wanted to do this. 

 

Stone steps lead up to a large door. Too large Izuku would argue, they passed by it, he made sure people could see his visitors pass, just to prove he wasn't some nobody but a somebody given permission.

 

Everything's not fine. All of a sudden he was hit with a sort of anxiety, Izuku rarely felt claustrophobic before, but in that almighty swell of hero potential he felt the panic rise in his chest. When Katsuki moved he reminded himself that he had to follow and if his feet failed to keep up it felt like he risked being lost. Was it him or was Katsuki walking faster? What was he trying to avoid? 

 

The hallways had ceilings that rivalled theatres, the lockers had graffiti and coordinated numbers, just like in middle school he thought. Even in the bitter November cold he felt the warmth of all those bodies surrounding him pressing in, bundled like spins of yarn. People weren't as gaunt and serious as he thought they'd be, if he hadn't of known any better this would've been just any regular school. But he did know better, the mundane signs above doors and posters of school events wouldn't distract him. He tried to keep up with his Kacchan. It wasn't even like there was that many people, their early arrival highlighting the early arrivers.

 

Despite the feelings coiling in his gut he urged himself to take in his surroundings, he wanted to know so desperately more about the hero side of Katsuki he saw exclusively in news reports and photos. Katsuki's everyday was soon going to become a fleeting yesterday to Izuku as soon as the week was over, he wanted to commit the scuffs on the floor and the posters hanging confidently on the walls to memory. 

 

It was something he liked to do to pass the time — remembering little things. He scanned the clusters of people, there was an organised sort of chaos to the halls he noted: like the odd couple here and there exchanging loving looks and gentle touches, the people who had laughs that could fill and room, the people who'd been beaten down by work and the ones who'd risen up past that. It really was just like any ordinary school but then again ordinary schools didn't pump out pros like there was no tomorrow. 

 

He mused on how everyone he passed had more potential in their little evolved toe than he did in his entire being. How in that very sea of mighty potential he stagged through, unworthy. 

 

The classroom wasn't anything special, rows of straight seats, desks neatly aligned, vast windows a canvas for the unending sky. Bakugou's seat was by the window, he jotted that down too. It was at that moment Izuku became acutely aware that he didn't know what to do with himself, they weren't the first to arrive, a bag sat tucked beneath a desk in the corner The classrep maybe? He thought, they weren't there so how could he know. 

Bakugou looked down to Izuku, 

A muscle twitched involuntarily at the corner of his right eye, his mouth formed a small, rigid grimace. With arms folded tightly across his chest he shuffled from side to side, and all the while stared out of the grimy window. He looked like he wanted to run. Katsuki stepped closer, joining their personally bubbles, Izuku didn't look him in the eye. 

 

"What's wrong?" Unexpectedly, his hand drifted to Izuku's hip, he shot a paranoid glare to the doorway. Empty.  His hand settled there and pulled him closer. Izuku inhaled long and slow against his warm broad chest. He splayed his hand against it, intending to push Katsuki away, but instead he left it there.

 

"Just a little overwhelmed." He lied it was more than a little. "I feel like I shouldn't be here." 

 

Katsuki's breathed out a sigh, nuzzling the other with his nose, lips lightly grazing his cheek. So faint, it was a whisper."You can leave." He could feel Izuku shake his head. "I'm going to be right here the entire time babe don't worry. I see you." 

 

And Katsuki did see him. He saw his dumb freckles, his soft curls, his fuck ugly shoes, saw his anxiety, his insecurities. They were all laid bare for him. 

 

They stayed like that a moment longer, wishing time would simply stop for them. But it didn't, it refused. Idle chatter outside the class drew them away from one another as though scorned by their touch. Izuku's racing heart calmed slightly, but he still wasn't feeling too good to be perfectly honest. He swallowed it down, composing himself. And the class slowly filled with people, one after another.  Katsuki gave them a harsh glare, moving behind Izuku to gently push him into the seat behind. Izuku sat down rigidly, Katsuki sat in his own chair pushing it back so it tapped against Izuku's desk and leaned in, to anyone else the murderous look on his face looked like a threat directed towards Izuku. But no, he grumbled low and soft "If anyone tries to fuck with you tell me." It was a threat to everyone else. 

 

Soon enough the class was half full, Katsuki stayed as close as non-suspiciously possible to Izuku. Kirishima, Denki, Sero and Mina approached, sporting their usual smiles and grins. Class hadn't started yet. They all dropped down into seats scattered nearby placing themselves into a near rehearsed arrangement, Izuku figured this was what they did every morning. Mina leaned against the desk with no fear, casting Katsuki a look before turning her attentions to Izuku.

 

 "Hey 'zuku, so how you finding school so far?"

 

The others leaned in, like they were friends sharing secrets. " oh um- it's great so far! It's a lot bigger than I expected but it's not like I can ever get lost when I'm with Kacchan." He paused, they looked at him expectedly, his cue that it was okay to continue. "It's going to be weird though."

 

"Weird?" 

 

"I haven't been to formal classes in a year, it feel a bit strange being back in school." Izuku sighed. 

 

"I thought you studied Psychology? Isn't that in a school?" Mina questioned. 

 

"Yeah but that's practically just lectures, I'll be there for only a few hours each week, I guess it's kinda like a university. Since I work at a hero agency it doubles as my education and I get weekends off thankfully." He started into the desk as he spoke. 

 

Mina nodded along."Bet it sucks missing school and work though."

 

"Well yeah, but it'll only really be a few days. Today's Thursday and Kacchan should be better by Wednesday, so I won't miss too much.”

 

Mina beamed."I guess that’s true. But hey I bet you think it's cool that you'll be able to study all these quirks though right? And we have tons of amazing Pro's working here too, like Midnight, Present Mic, Eraser Head... oh and All Might! I bet you're hyped to meet the ex-number one aren't you?"

 

Bakugou grumbled, getting pulled away into a conversation with Kirishima and Denki, completely believing in Mina’s friendly capabilities being able to sooth Deku’s anxiety."He was the biggest All Might fangirl when we were kids." 

 

Izuku grinned ear to ear, a lilting chuckle escaped his lips. "Yeah, I can’t wait to meet him!" Mina and Sero exchanged stories of their experiences, fun plans over the weekend, hero studies. Izuku nodded along to everything with that faw-grin plastered across his face. All Might, the ex-symbol of peace. Izuku almost forgot about him. The man who decided to shatter his dreams. The man Katsuki looked up to, he didn't have the heart to besmirch Katsuki's idol's name. And expressing his bitterness towards the ex-pro would’ve been less than ideal when surrounded my Katsuki’s best friends and All Might admirers. 

 

Izuku's hadn't been there long enough to be able to confidently determine the group dynamics, but something in his gut knew that they’d probably be less than ecstatic to hear of his hero hatred. He trailed his eyes from that of Mina’s exaggerates movements to the guy beside her, who's cheeks were comically as pink as hers. 

 

"Tsu and Tokoyami look so cute together, don't you think?" Seemed Mina had changed the subject, she pointed towards the couple entering, Izuku trailed their movements, huh they did look cute together,"I wish I were in a relationship too, it's just school makes it so hard."

 

"I get what you mean," Sero awkwardly cleared his throat before continuing, "-but won't it like be hard juggling all that?" Oh, explains the pink Izuku thought. 

 

She shrugged, smiling softly as she turned to Sero. "I don't know. It can't be too hard if we're both pro-heroes, lots of heroes who are partners are also together. You'd have like the same goal. I can imagine it'd be harder if it were a civilian and a Pro."

 

The brewing romance between them was obvious, Mina certainly wasn't hiding it and Sero made no effort to conceal his sweaty palms or goofy grin. Izuku looked between them, heart aching for them, the time they spent dancing around their feelings would eventually all just lead up to time lost actually being together. It meant more lonely nights and regrets in the end, in Izuku's opinion hesitation was the worst thing you could ever do when it comes to love..

 

But wasn't he also hesitating? Weren't he and Katsuki both just dancing around their love? They weren't ready, not yet, one day though. If they weren't ready was it really hesitation? 

 

He wanted to come out together. It was a dream more than a wish, if anything. 

 

"What do you think Izuku?"

 

"Of what?"

 

"Of pros dating civilians, silly. Do you reckon it's harder than two pros, Mr Psychology?"

 

Izuku smiled, Mina was growing on him. He pondered over the question, looking to Katsuki who'd fully taken his attention away, engrossed in his own conversation. He breathed in, then let a calm breath out, he wasn't going to freak out."Well... I don't know. I think they're both hard options with their own problems."

 

Sero nodded along looking off into the distance. "Like What?"

 

"Like.. i guess with two pros they'd both understand the struggles of being a pro, it'd be a comfort to know they understand. But at the same time it's twice the fear and danger that comes with the job. New pros especially start with hours that aren't really in their control. It'd be rare for days off and shifts to line up so it'd be harder to see each other unless you lived together."

 

Mina paused, clearly in thought "I didn't even think about that."

 

"I guess that's why a Pro-civilian relationship is easier in a way. One of you most likely will be flexible with time so seeing each other is easier. But then again, being a hero is dangerous, you'd always run the risk of bringing that danger home with you. Psychologically it isn't great either, constantly worrying about them all the time, worrying about yourself. It leads some pros to sheltering their spouses, or separating out of fear." Izuku thumbed his scarred palm, "Sorry didn't mean to being the mood down." 

 

"No- no I started it don't worry! I think it's really interesting honestly! It's strange, I'm trying to become a pro and yet honestly there's so much about the lifestyle I don't know."  Mina waved her hands energetically in front of her face almost trying to physically clear his anxieties away. 

 

"You'll get it soon enough, don't worry honestly! Dating a hero isn't as bad as I made it seem." He sent her a reassurance of his own. 

 

"Oh Dude, that makes it sound like you've done it."

 

Fuck. Shit. Crap. Fuuuuckk fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck dick shit bitch. Bakugou would be devastated if he was outed because of his stupidity. "Well I-"

 

"Midoriya Izuku?" Izuku turned to face another new-old face. Tenya Iida he presumed, Class-president, speed quirk, part of the Ingenium name. "Id like to speak to you for a moment, Mina, Sero would you mind?"

 

Mina patted Izuku's arm, mouthing a gentle Sorry, getting up from her seat along with Sero to join the now completed squad just a desk away he told himself. Izuku turned his attention to the man ahead of him. "You wanted to talk to me?"

 

"Yes — as you may remember I'm Tenya Iida the class representative. We've met briefly. I'm sure Mr Aizawa has spoken to you about this but UA is a prestigious school, I would hope you'd respect that." Izuku noted his formality, his air of dignity. 

 

"Oh course."

 

Iida eyed the teen suspiciously. "I have no information on you so I can't judge your character well, but I've heard good things so far." 

 

He was making good impressions but the thought of gossip and news spreading so quickly gave him a mental note to be more cautious with what he said and did."Thanks I guess." Mina was gone, he could feel his confidence crumbling. 

 

"You're welcome. But despite your good reputation so far I'd just to remind you of some of the specialised rules here for civilian visitors: no getting involved in training, no photography, no going into areas off limits to students and no destructive usage of your quirk." 

 

One of those certainly wasn’t going to be hard to comply with."Don't worry, I got it." 

 

"Good. One last thing. Thank you for doing this, helping Bakugou so that he can continue studying. I know that if it were me I'd be eternally grateful to have someone who'd sacrifice there own time like this for me." he sounded sincere. 

 

"No problem." And with that Iida left. Leaving Midoriya alone, well as alone one could be in a class full of people. Realistically Katsuki was only a meter away, if he stretched he would be able to tap his foot against the back of Kacchan's chair. He hoped Mina didn't think too much about what he'd said, hoped that she wouldn't bring it up again, he couldn't have fucked up already. 

 

He clicked his pen, tapping it against the desk, nervously thumping his leg, his eyes darted over to the desk ahead of him — the Bakusquad as he recalled — in the big scheme of cliques and stereotypical school groups he pondered which type they fell into. They seemed to be amongst the loudest students in his class, all lit up with jokes and smiles. All of them were nice, helpful, and bright, Katsuki was in good company Izuku thought. 

 

His eyes trailed the movements of his gloomy, explosive blond his eyebrows furrowed, knitted together with annoyance as Denki slung an arm over his shoulder. He only shrugged him off, glaring at him as usual before chastising Denki with a threat. The other didn't listen. He never did it seemed. Good Izuku thought, they can see through his persona too. Katsuki's lips curled into a deep scowl.

 

Izuku was almost envious of how carefree they all could be in public with their affections. Of how they could lean in so close, and touch Katsuki without consequences. He noticed how Kirishima wrapped him in a side hug, teased him, and the blond would only grumble. Izuku knew that they wouldn't be able to do that, not yet at least. He knew Katsuki feared their reactions, feared their questions, he guessed in a roundabout way it meant he cared. He cared about all those people in the room, future pros he thought. He could never be like them, he was quirkless, he didn't train daily, could never hold his own in a fight, he was a crybaby, heck he felt like crying now. 

 

He tried to take his mind off of it, to the other familiar-unfamiliar faces of the room. 

 

There was a girl at the teachers desk sorting papers. Izuku sorted through his internal notebooks... 

 

Name: Momo Yaoyorozu

Quirk: Creation

 

From what he'd seen on the news she was from a wealthy family, he could see it in the way she carried herself, with that obvious regal air to her. She had high, delicate cheek bones, small nose and creamy smooth skin he supposed was from her quirk. But she was by no means dainty, she had power in her step as she delegated. Her gait that of a leader, something he wished he had. He took her all in. She seemed pure and had spirit, he was certain she'd become one of those heroes others idolised, he jotted it down. 

 

Then his eyes shifted to Mina, he'd initially met her the day before in Katsuki's hospital room. Her eyes then were puffy, there was a quiver in her lips, he determined that she had a vastness to her heart that expanded beyond simple kindness. But despite her wrecked state there was a steadiness to her,  she was enthusiastic and warm, perhaps that's what drew people to her. It was as if she knew she was born to be a queen of the earth, one who helped others, using pieces of her own heart to mend the chipping fragments of others own beating catastrophes. There was nothing dainty or delicate about her either, just a fierce independence and a motherliness too... a quality he found lacked in many heroes. 

 

His gaze wandered to that of the girl to a certain guy he couldn't quite wrap his mind around Just yet . Ejirou Kirishima. He was one of those guys Izuku figured would bring people into a bear hug when sad or reassured everyone everything was okay when it really wasn't. He wasn't quite sure Kirishima ever said yes to anything either, it Seemed to always be a maybe with a knowing grin. Yet he always came through... a man of his word is a way he'd like to think Kirishima would put it. He was a dedicated follower in what he believed in, in who he believe in. He told bad jokes in attempt to always lighten the mood, whether or not he intended for the jokes to be bad who can say. He had a good heart but even he could tell Kirishima was weary of him. 

 

In the back of his mind he thought that perhaps it was because he knew he shouldn't be here. This place was for heroes, and he was anything but. So what did that make him? 

 

The bustling corridors, uniform classrooms, noisy chatter, bright displays, obscure hero announcements, Izuku slowly found to be too much. Friends arrived, smiled, grinned, chair's shuffled and moved, coats got shrugged off. All of a sudden he was blending into the walls, it all felt so familiar. 

 

Any moment now Mr Aizawa would enter, quiet would descend, registration called, the monotonous present repeated 20 times over, the day would begin, a roster of subjects he hadn't done in years, someone's homework would be forgotten, lost, crumpled in the bottom of their bag. Maybe he should've thought this through more. He kept his eyes trained on Katsuki, Katsuki was safe, something he knew, but it didn't help — Katsuki wasn't seeing him. 

 

Suddenly he knew what it reminded him of, it was something he didn't want to relive. The gaps in time he spent with his head down, dodging bullies, taunts, jabs, jibes, avoiding eye contact, shoulders hunched, stomach lurching every time someone approached. He could feel the tight burning at the back of his throat, sounds and sights contorted. His eyes never left his Kacchan. Kacchan see me. 

 

Logically Izuku knew emotional pain had a psychological purpose, to teach, to educate us away from unhealthy patterns and relationships, positive punishment it's called. The pain sat there like Katsuki's metaphorical fire, it licked at his skin, but fuel to the fire devastated his mind, and he was in a room full of gun powder. He forgot how much repetition scarred his life.

 

He was trapped in that class of 3A a place he didn't know, a den of unfamiliarity, he couldn't move, couldn't breath. He recalled how his body jarred with each blow, how the pain seared through his skin, sinister enough to leave bruises. That's how he knew they put their all into each strike. Their arms would recoil and snap back to his bare sides the impact delivered by an object rather than their own fists sometimes on a whim: a bat, a crow bar, a knife. 

 

He remembered crying. Sobbing until he felt like he had lost all his tears, throat hoarse from screaming, body twitching with cold. 

 

More people came in, he looked at the clock. 8:24 AM. Katsuki still didn't see him. 

 

An invisible hand clasped over his mouth; an equally ghostly hypodermic of adrenaline pierced his heart, unloading in an instant. He gripped the desk hard. Why now of all times? He could feel his ribs heaving as if bound by ropes, straining to inhale. His mind a carousel of fears spinning out of control, each one pushing his mind into blackness. My am I here? 

 

He wanted to run, he wanted to stay, he wanted warmth.

 

Katsuki turned in that moment, crimson eyes shifting towards his direction and falling onto him. 

 

Izuku froze as their eyes met, mentally beating himself up for staring too hard and too long. He should've been better at this stuff. It was pathetic. Having a panic attack here of all places, what was there to fear when in a room with literal heroes sworn to protect?

Chapter Text

Izuku wondered about the perspective of the chaser, if they could fathom the fear of the chased. For in this need to escape his head and let his heart run wild to the place that was crushed and without light or match to bring a comforting spark, to infinite his fire once again, he wondered. At least rational Izuku wondered these things, and maybe if he were in a state of less disarray he would have pondered that very thought now.  

 

Instead he felt the screaming of his own lungs and the will of his muscles go far beyond what exercise could ever demand. It was as if the body and brain switched to full survival mode and was always nothing but pain. 

 

Bakugou made the first move reaching out to Izuku, trying to give him that warmth but... he was already too cold... so cold he was burning. 

 

And then he ran, like the winter breeze colliding into inanimate objects and crashing waves hitting the shore line. Like eagles soaring across endless skies of endless possibilities. He didn't know where he was nor did he know where he was headed. He acutely remembered hearing someone yell his name, but it was so far, so faint, so unimportant that it was disregarded. 

 

Izuku ran into people, babbling an apology through chapped lips. Eyes stinging like heartache. The sounds of desperate footsteps pounded behind him. "Deku!"

 

That feeling of stagnant air hitting his face reminded him of bug hunting on hot days, of freedom, of red worn out running shoes, of muddied shorts, and a blond little boy. Of a nickname that never seemed more fitting than now. 

 

When lying home alone, swaddled in blankets of warmth, Izuku tended to see those memories as books with chapters, deep and unnerving; so he could leave them on the shelf or under the bed to gather dust. At least that way he could believe the stories inside them were just that.. stories. He could never erase the words carved into each page, but he made up for it by choosing what to write on those blank pages that came after. 

 

Heart pounding, throat raspy, leaden feet, heavy legs, that's what he remembered now. Chill autumn air, unseasonably cold, every footfall shook, he wasn't build like the others but the all too familiar sickening rush of adrenaline could have helped fool anyone. He ran with a desperation. But what was he desperate for again? 

 

He found a tree, it was big, that's all he cared to notice. He wheezed as his burning lungs gasp for air. His legs felt numb and unsteady, painfully sore, he hadn't been running for long... had he? His throat felt so dry, so uncomfortably dry. Green curls sweat soaked clung to his forehead, no different than if he had ran through a rain-storm. It had been so long since the last panic attack he had forgotten the feeling. Unable to go on he stopped running, gasped for air, collapsing to the ground dripping with cold. He had tears in his eyes, was that why everything was so blurry? 

 

He curled into himself choking out sobs that racked his frame, blocking out the world, he barely registered someone collapsing beside him, stroking soothing hands down his back, a face coming close to his to pry this muddied cheeks off the ground. 

 

"Izuku?" 

 

Izuku peered up to frantic red, he couldn't breath, his heart strained against his body, convulsing like an madman. Those warm hands wrapped around him and he whined into that chest he knew all too well. Hands clutched at Kacchan's uniform and Katsuki held him in silence, rocking him slowly as his tears soaked his chest. Katsuki felt unceasingly dumb for not reading his boyfriend better, he should've been more weary of his dismay, should've been there, Katsuki hated the sound of Izuku's tears. 

 

"I-I'm so- so pathetic." He hiccuped. The pain came in waves, minutes of sobbing broken apart by short pauses for recovering breaths, before hurling him back into the outstretched arms of his grief. "So pathetic -dumb -stupid." 

 

Katsuki just squeezed him harder, he was never good with words but he murmured every bit of praise he could think of to shoot down all the lies Izuku told himself. You're not pathetic, my Izuku is so smart, so strong. Izuku burned himself deeper into Katsuki's chest. "I see you 'Zuku." Katsuki had witnessed these before, seen the pain seen the agony. The worst part was that he knew those tears more often or not fell because of him. Because of his ignorance, his density, his void of a heart — that's what he thought anyway. 

 

He was so engrossed in his conversation with Kirishima he barely even noticed. The only reason he turned was because of the curious eyes of the extras. He glanced back, Izuku's hands were digging holes into the desk, wet eyes stared back at him. His face was emotionless though, bottling it all in but then he reached out and that bottle shattered. Next thing he knew he was in pain, unimaginable pain, chasing after Izuku's back, ignoring the burning in his bones, the aching in his heart. He almost forgot about the stupid fucking quirk thing. 

 

He waited until those shaking breath calmed. Swiping the sweated curled out of his face, to get a proper look at Izuku. His eyes were scrunched closed, his cheeks stained red, his brows furrowed. He took big breaths in, then out, then in and out again. Katsuki subconsciously mirrored his breaths. "I promise I see you... " it was a mantra. Katsuki pressed their heads together, wincing as Izuku let out a shuddering breath. "Izuku can you look at me?"

 

Izuku sniffled and complied, opening his eyes to see his Kacchan making well on his promise, he was looking at him. 

 

Katsuki grinned proudly. "Good good now tell me what you see..."

 

Katsuki watched as Izuku looked around. "Trees... leaves and um- Kacchan." He swallowed thickly, hands clenching and unclenching. 

 

Katsuki breathed out a sigh "That's great Babe now two things you can hear..."

 

"... the- um -the wind... and Kacchan." Izuku sniffled and Katsuki used his sleeve to wipe the remainder of his tears. 

 

"Good good, you're doing great now something you can touch..."

 

Izuku gripped Katsuki's uniform harder. "Kacchan..." Seemed that did the trick, it was a coping mechanism for anxiety Katsuki learnt years ago and by the way Izuku’s heaving calmed it seemed as though he’d succeeded. But whenever he was actually put to the test he always felt like he fumbled with what came first and next. Always felt like he wasn't capable of being the shoulder to cry on, the hand to hold. Deku deserved someone who was capable. 

 

They stayed wrapped up for a moment longer, it was cold and the cold soaked into their clothes rattling their bones. Katsuki used his quirk to heat up his core body temperature and share it with Izuku, he didn't do it often, it depleted his energy and made him sluggish but there were exceptions to every rule. He hesitated, never quite knowing when to try and start up a conversation after something like this. "Izuku?" 

 

Izuku nodded against his chest after a pause. 

 

Katsuki waited a moment, shifting into a more comfortable position with his back to the tree and Izuku between his legs, to be honest it wasn’t all that more comfortable, his legs would start cramping and the tree roots dug into his ass. "Can you tell me what's wrong?"

 

Even though Izuku had called down it didn't take away from how he felt. "I just- I shouldn't be here." His voice was hoarse from crying. 

 

"Why not?"

 

"Because.." Izuku coughed into his shoulder trying not to tear up again "I'm not a hero. This place just makes me feel like- like I'm nothing, it was too much all at once being in that class." He said, voice a notch higher that it should be. 

 

"You are a hero Izuku. You're not nothing, you're my everything. It's my fault, I should have known. Come on, you fucking work for Sir Nighteye, you've helped solve actual crimes! That's more than most the extras here will ever do!"

 

"Katsuki you know that's not true.."

 

Izuku choked out a bitter laugh, and finally properly looked at Katsuki, his eyes were red, his checks looked raw, his lips dry. Whichever bastard out there tried to use comforting someone post panic attack as a romantic ploy in fiction clearly had never experienced such a thing. This wasn't romantic or beautiful, the sight of Izuku's sadness didn't make his heart flutter — instead it plummeted knowing he had failed as a person who claimed to love him. Was he meant to be in awe? He didn't know, he felt like he never knew. 

 

"If I cant convince you otherwise, let's just go." Katsuki hugged him harder from behind. Deku liked to be comforted like this, with encouragement and touches — for now that's all Katsuki thought he could work with. 

 

It took Izuku a moment to realise what he'd said "What?"

 

"Izu let's just go. We can spend the whole week at your mom's again if we have to."

 

Izuku fumbled "But your hero course.." 

 

"Fuck that shit- unless. No wait. What if we just flip this around. We go to your school, to the agency as well, I can just do all the catch up work after..." he let his voice trail off. 

 

Izuku blinked away his remaining tears "Kacchan that's... no. Your work is too important. I— I want to be here."

 

Katsuki put his hand to Izuku's check, his red puffy eyes betrayed his conviction. "You're more important. Don't pretend you want to be here Izu.. you don't have to."

 

"But I do! I want to be with you! Here! I'll just have to learn to get over it!" And he really did want to be here. 

 

Katsuki glanced at the path that sat vacant beside them "I don't want you to suffer anymore because of me.."

 

Izuku felt that guilt coiling back up, that feeling that everything he did, everything he said was wrong. He didn't want that "It's not you Kacchan. It's just— it's just the atmosphere." 

 

Katsuki couldn't completely believe that. 'Someone opened my eyes'. There it went again, the dulled bitter voice of a boy over the phone played around in his head, of course this was his fault, when wasn't it. But this wasn't the time to belittle himself, he had to be there for Izuku. "Okay.. okay. Let's just go back to the dorms then for now."

 

"What about-"

 

"We’ll go back at the end of lunch, we don't miss the hero core stuff, everything before that is academics. I'm already ahead so who cares, ‘right?" He traced the tired lines etched into Izuku's face. This was too much, he knew that now. Izuku needed more time and Katsuki was determined to force time to bend to his whims. 

 

Izuku was too tired to argue, why did everything hurt? "Okay.." 

 

Katsuki stood and laced their fingers together to help Izuku up, he didn't let go even when they got back to the dorms, even when they got into the elevator up to Katsuki's room, even when Katsuki manoeuvred Izuku into his bed, tucking blankets and pillows around before laying down himself, snuggling close. Even after Izuku became dead weight as he napped. All that adrenaline had worn off, he thought that might've been the case and the crying too probably didn't help.

 

Katsuki shot Kirishima a quick text after opening his phone and getting a flood of recent messages, Izuku isn't feeling well, be back at lunch, tell Eraser and four eyes. He set an alarm, trying ever so hard just to let the world fall away as he pulled Izuku's body flush against his. Wether it was for his comfort or Deku's he didn't care to admit. 

 

In their relationship they both full well knew there was... vulnerability. An implicit trust in one another unlike the trust of friendship, that trust was something he feared. And even though he'd heard countless times before that he'd changed, he questioned Deku's decision to place his undivided trust in him. 

 

He knew he was terrible to him, he knew he hurt him, not as much as he knew those around him did but still, that didn't make him feel any better and it shouldn't. 

 

He abused his position of quirk fuelled power to ridicule him, to knock him down. He knew he couldn't ever be in a position like that ever again, that gave him the power to hurt Izuku, he was so afraid of being the brute he knew he could be that he hadn't let Izuku even see his explosions outside of TV for just over two years. He just couldn't, the image of those flames even daring to lick at Izuku's skin made him feel nauseous. He would never do what he'd done before again, but the fact was that he had. He couldn't trust himself, and if he ever hurt Izuku even accidentally he knew without a doubt it would break him. That was his vulnerability. 

 

He scrunched his eyes to ward away those negative thoughts of self hatred and wrinkled his nose at the smell of cheap generic shampoo Izuku used, resting his chin atop the others head, bathing in the softness nonetheless. He was so lucky, so unbelievably fortunate to be able to say he held Izuku’s love in his heart. Something he never wanted to take for granted. 

 

He made a note to buy him some of the good shampoo once they could afford it, once they got a place of their own he hoped. He intertwined their legs, all he wanted was for Izuku to be warm in every sense of the word. 

 

He sighed as he let him self get comfortable. Expensive silky sheets... and a bubble bath he thought to himself. Izuku liked nice things like that, Katsuki liked seeing Izuku enjoy nice things like that. Because that's what he deserved. A fucking huge king sized bed too, as much as he loved being squished against Izuku's body it wasn't ideal indefinitely.

 

He hummed idly, finally letting go of Izuku's hand to stroke soothing circles against back.  A dog or a cat, a big kitchen, a study with a bookcase for Izu. “Somewhere quiet,” he muttered, low crime rates, not too far from a train station, shit tons of sunlight. Big windows, a balcony would be nice. 

 

Izuku stirred in his arms, and Katsuki decided to stop for now, after all, he had until graduation to finish off that list. "I'm gunna buy you the world Izu, I promise you." He mumbled, lips pressed to a freckled cheek, lulled to sleep by the sound of gentle breathing and the smell of god awful shampoo.