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Piss Off Your Parents

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“You’re too young to go to a party like that,” John Winchester said, crossing his arms. Sam Winchester glared defiantly.

“I’m eighteen,” Sam said. “I’m in college now. I’m perfectly fine.”

“Your father’s right,” Mary Winchester said, coming up behind Sam and touching his shoulders. Sam moved away. “You’re underage, and a college party will definitely have alcohol, drugs, and Lord-knows-what. You aren’t going.”

“I should’ve chosen to live on-campus,” Sam mumbled. He shrugged past his mother and stomped upstairs. If only Dean were here and not at college himself; he’d be able to convince their parents to let him go.

An idea formed in Sam’s head.


Lucifer Shurley opened his door and saw Sam standing there. He tilted his head. “What’re you doing?” he asked. He glanced outside. “Is that your father’s truck? Did you steal it?”

“Let me live with you,” Sam said.

Lucifer went quiet. “I know you’re new to Stanford and all, but surely you’ve heard some of the rumors about me. I’m not the kind of person you’d want to move in with.”

Sam nodded. “Oh, I know,” he said, and let himself in. “You’re the bad boy of the school. That’s perfect. I like bad boys. Long hair, tattoos, all black, possibly a serial killer.”

“Is this about your parents?” Lucifer sighed.

“No,” Sam lied.

“Yes it is. Don’t lie to me.”

“Well, I am attracted to you,” Sam said, “and I’ve seen how you look at me. I just never thought about it because it’d piss off my parents, and…” he trailed off.

“And now you want to piss them off,” Lucifer finished, and Sam nodded. “You’re lucky I don’t care,” Lucifer added, sitting on the couch and inviting Sam to sit next to him. “Send them pictures of us, then.” He grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the coffee table and put his arm around Sam.

“You drink?” Sam asked.

“And smoke,” Lucifer replied, and he smiled at Sam’s blush. “You like that?”

“Kinda,” the Winchester replied. “I took Dad’s credit card. We can use that to buy shit.” He took a photo of the two of them, making sure the bottle was in the picture, and sent it directly to John and Mary.

“Perfect,” Lucifer said. He pulled Sam in for a kiss. Sam snapped a picture of that, too.

John called Sam’s phone. “What do I do?” Sam asked.

“Let me,” Lucifer grinned, taking the phone and putting it on speaker. He put a finger to his lips to tell Sam to be quiet.

“Sam?” John’s voice asked.

“Sam’s busy,” Lucifer drawled.

“Who is this?”

“Lucifer. His boyfriend. Who is this?”

“His father,” John snapped. “Put Sam on.”

“Can’t,” Lucifer said, and he gasped. “Fuck.”

“What is it?” John asked, irritated.

“Nothing,” Lucifer said. “Fuck, ah, look, I gotta go… Sam!”

Sam wasn’t doing anything, but he grinned as he understood what Lucifer was doing. He was faking sex noises to piss John off. It was, honestly, really hot.

“What the hell is going on over there?” John’s voice demanded.

Lucifer moaned, and it made Sam blush. “N-nothing,” he gasped. “Shit, Sam, you’re such a slut.”

Sam suppressed a giggle as John roared, “What are you doing to my son?”

“Not doing anything,” Lucifer said. His eyes were closed, and his voice was breathy. Sam snuck a peek at the senior’s crotch and found him just as hard as Sam was. “It’s what Sammy’s doing – ah – to me.”

“Which is?” John asked.

“Giving me the best blowjob I’ve ever had,” Lucifer said bluntly. “Fuck, Sam, I’m gonna come! Shit-”

“Put Sam on the phone,” John growled.

“Sure thing,” Lucifer said breezily, opening his eyes and looking at Sam, who held out his hand for the phone.

“Hi Dad,” Sam said innocently. He blushed as he saw Lucifer notice the bulge in his jeans.

“Samuel Winchester, where the fuck are you?”

“Heaven,” Sam answered, and Lucifer smiled.

“Get your ass home, now.”

Sam’s breath hitched as Lucifer straddled him and kissed his neck. “Fuck,” he whined.

“Stop what you’re doing and get your ass home,” John demanded. “You’re in so much trouble.”

“Trouble?” Lucifer asked. “I can punish him for you.” Sam moaned at that.

“Am I on speaker?” John asked. “Samuel Winchester, you are in so much trouble. Get home now, I won’t tell you again.”

“Good,” Lucifer said. “I was getting tired of hearing your voice.” He began to grind down on Sam, who moaned and bucked his hips up. “You’re so pretty, Sammy.”

“I gotta – oh, fuck, Luce – I gotta go, Dad.” Despite John’s protests, Sam hung up. “You can’t tease me like that,” he complained to Lucifer. “You better fuck me now.”

Lucifer grinned. “Sounds good to me.”