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Colourful days

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Nessie turned physically six and started to ask more and more questions Jacob wasn’t prepared for.

‘Jacob, do you have a girlfriend?’ ‘Jacob, why is your skin always so hot?’ ‘Jacob, what happened to Emily’s face?’

It was hard explaining those last ones; they had decided not to tell her about the shape shifters until she was older. Jacob had heard about Jared and Sam showing their wolf form to their imprints the first time, and no one ever took it well. He didn’t want to scare Renesmee, certainly not at such a young age. So he made up stories, said ‘I don’t know’ or ‘I’ll tell you one day’. 

The hardest one, however, was this: ‘Jacob, do you have a best friend?’ 

Part of him wanted to throw the Ken doll in the fireplace so bad, but every now and then a memory of Embry came back. You love her, Jacob. You’d do anything for her. Isn’t that what love is? You should know. So he smiled at her and said: ‘No, not at the moment.’  

‘Mommy said that Embry was your best friend when you were young’, she carelessly chattered, ‘but I think that isn’t true because I don’t know an Embry.’ 

Renesmee wasn’t even looking at him; she was too busy putting a new dress on her doll. For a second, Jacob really hated that. It always vexed him when people casually talked about Embry. And though he wasn’t a very emotional guy, the shame he felt would blurry his sight every time. 

‘Embry left.’, he admitted, yet twisted the truth a bit when he went on. ‘Something happened and we couldn’t deal with it.’ 

‘Who is we?’ 

‘My friends and I’, he told her through gritted teeth. 

Now she looked up at him. Renesmee put her Barbie down and sat next to Jacob. ‘Are you mad at me?’

‘No’, he said, unable to resist her doe-like eyes, ‘I’ll never be’. You’d do anything for her. The words echoed as angrily in his head as they did the first time and the underlying message even more.

Don’t be such a hypocrite .