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Beautiful Chaos

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Beautiful Chaos  🖤

 

 

Chapter I "The intimate stranger"

 

The city was glowing with chaos and the tall slender man with the painted face was the very reason it was all happening and that made him grin from ear to ear. He was walking around a little to look around and admire the poetic destruction he had caused and just could not bring himself to stop smiling almost to the point that his face felt sore.

He had not had a genuine smile in almost his entire life and it was pure ecstasy. The polical violence in the streets of the city, his city, had run rampant and it was beautiful in his distorted mind. It was truly a reason for pure unbridled elation for him. Beautiful chaos...

Not too far from all this raging anarchy there was a woman on her apartment balcony on the 6th floor of the apartment building watching all this pandemonium flood the streets and although she knew she should probably feel fear or be offended she almost felt comfortable watching it all go down.

She pulled another cigarette out of her almost empty pack and lit it and simply sat down on her chair beside a small glass table where her overflowing ashtray resided. This was her 3rd cigarette in a row and she knew she should probably take a break but she simply couldn't bring herself to give a shit. As she took a long drag of her cigarette she was thinking about what she saw only hours ago on the Murray show.

Once again rules invented to control people made her feel she should be in shock or terrified but she honestly enjoyed it. It made her question her own sanity, but she gets tired of wearing a mask all the time and this Joker person was bold enough to actually be honest and be himself as strange as that may sound to the norm.

She spent most of her days working at a fast food place a few blocks away from her apartment and truth be told she hated it and many times has fantasized about it being burned down or being robbed at gunpoint just to get some God damn excitement for once.
As she put her cigarette out she suddenly stood up when she thought she actually saw this Joker character among the craziness going on out there. She found herself feeling some unwelcome excited in her almost as if she just saw her favourite actor. "I wonder what he's up to now" she murmured to herself.

She was beautiful but never believed she was and even when people told her she was it felt nice only for a while before she she didn't think so anymore, but she was lovely. She had long burgundy hair that went almost to her lower back, she has wide hips and fairly large breasts and even though she just dressed fairly modestly she had no idea she could stop a man dead in his tracks.

She normally wore black and always liked to wear deep red lipstick that complemented her hair color and she wore glasses that had black and indigo plastic frames that brought out the color in her dark brown eyes. She was lovely...but longed for someone with beautiful and mad heart to tell her so. She truly felt that that was something she would never find so she had mostly given up on searching and instead engaged more in her bird watching and other activities that she enjoyed doing alone. She was mostly alone....

Even her family was not a comfort but instead a toxic fume that she could not allow herself to inhale or she would be plagued by a flood of unpleasant emotions, so she found it easier to be alone and entertain herself to the best of her ability even though she would very much like to spend time with someone special, but in her traumatized mind that person did not exist on this or any other plain of existence...

 

Joker aka Arthur Fleck was enjoying all of this but he was starting to feel dizzy and faint, but he did not want anyone to see because if he passed out that could be dangerous. He walked into an empty alley and began to see stars and this made him giggle for no apparent reason. His empty stomach began to feel queasy and right as he felt he would be sick he took one more uneasy step and everything went black.

****

The woman watching all the amusing havoc take place leaned over her balcony squinting in an attempt to see if that was this Joker person or not. She quickly dashed inside and grabbed her binoculars she had stashed in her nightstand drawer (she is a birdwatcher when she has the time) and got back to the balcony as fast as she possibly could almost tripping in the process.

Standing on her balcony she brought the binoculars to her curious eyes and looked in the general direction of this infamous Joker person but it was hard to see because it was rather dark. "I know I saw you" she whispered to herself as if she had to quiet her voice so that "God" would not here her sinful curiosity. She adjusted her binoculars and she could see more clearly now. "There you are" she said, a devious smile stretching across her face.
She was thrilled and wished she had a good enough camera to take a picture. She looked for him eagerly almost as if it were one the birds she adored so much, but a very rare bird. One of a kind.
****

Chapter Text

Beautiful Chaos

Chapter II "The Journey to the Apartment"

 

Joker was on the ground in a dark alley alone beside a dumpster passed out in the fetal position almost like a little boy hiding out from school bullies.
The intrigued woman on the balcony watching for this strange man was named Iris and she had trouble constantly with keeping her busy mind still, but right now in this very moment she was truly in the moment. When she could finally get a better look at him, thanks to some fire near by adding a little illumination, she noticed that he wasn't moving and his head was bloody.

She instantaneously felt this was the job for her. To go save this very very possibly dangerous, homicidal man. "What if he's dead?" she asked herself. "Well there's only one way to find out" and that was it, she grabbed her hoodie and purse, dashed out the door and into the elevator.

She was now beginning to feel some anxiety about all of this, but to her this was the first time she's truly felt alive in years so she just didn't care anymore. She was also relieved when she digged through her purse and felt her pistol. These days it was pretty much a necessity to have one.

Once the elevator doors opened she ran to the exit doors almost knocking over a women's bag of groceries in the process, she didn't have time to even say sorry. She was on a mission. She almost felt like Bilbo Baggins when he left the Shire to go on long and unpredictable journey.


She stuffed her pistol in her pants pocket as a precaution so that it was easier to access in case of an emergency. She ran as fast as she could towards this dangerous yet mysterious man that she saw only hours ago shoot a man in the head and then get up and shoot him yet again after he was already dead, but she didn't care. In fact she felt almost like a kid on Christmas morning running into the living room to what surprises await her even if the surprise blew up in her face.


She had trouble finding this particular alley especially with all the rambunctious people running around everywhere and also having to dodge all the bloodshed.

Iris was beginning to get frustrated because she kept getting turned around and still could not find it for the life of her and she started to feel defeated. She lit a cigarette and started to walk to grab another pack from the nearest shop even though it may be on fire for all she knows.

She was so preoccupied with finding a shop that wasn't destroyed or totally looted that she almost the passed the very alley that she had been desperately seeking. She stopped dead in her tracks when she heard what sounded like someone silently groaning. She looked to her left and immediately recognized the dumpster and knew that she had found the gold at the end of the rainbow. Grasping her pistol in one hand from in her pocket and the other hand holding her cigarette she moved forward into the ominous, dark alley.

It was almost too dark and it was beginning to scare her and right when she was going to turn back she saw something in the corner of her deviant eye. It was him. It was really him...She had found the Joker.

Joker was not fully conscious but he looked up with one eye half open and saw someone looming over him and he suddenly found himself feeling the same way he did as a little boy, full of fear. He had a hard time even keeping one eye open and felt so dizzy every time he tried to lift his head even a little that all his fuzzy mind seemed to be telling his body to do was cower. He put his hands up as if she were going to strike him. He started caughing, and for some reason even laughing, violently to the point that he was retching and having an hard time catching his breath. And as this strange woman, that he did not know meant him no harm, leaned in closer he was almost crying because he was afraid she would attack him. He curled up even tighter and covered his face with his hands.

As she witnessed this behaviour her heart sank. This poor man was terrified and it made her feel sad. She slowly brought her hand to his head and she then proceeded to gently caress his hair and said softly "Hey, I'm here to help it's gonna be okay" She did not even know where this sudden mushy side of her was coming from but she just felt for him. He was all alone.

She had some tissues in her purse so she took some and tried to wipe some of the blood from his mouth for him. He flinched but eventually started to feel safer as she cleaned him up. "Wha-what do you want?" he asked trying not to gag from swallowing so much blood.

"I don't want anything I just want to help I guess"
"W-why?" he inquired as he finally fully moved his hands away from his face.

She looked down at him with earnest eyes and replied with, "Because you need help"

He was still not able to fully understand why this woman would want to help him or anyone would want to help him for that matter, but he did need help so he didn't feel he had a choice in the matter. He allowed her to assist him in sitting up but as soon as he was sitting up he felt to incredibly dizzy that he felt he might be sick or pass out again.

Iris heard police sirens in the distance. "Okay I do not know why I am even doing this but...come one let's get you somewhere safe"
Joker resisted at first because he felt so weak and wasn't sure he would even be able to walk. "No, n-no you don't have to help me just leave me here" as he spoke these words he was also laughing in between for no apparent reason and although this puzzled her there was no time for trying to figure it out.

******

End of Chapter II  ♡

Chapter Text

Beautiful Chaos chapter III

"Everyone needs help sometimes"

"I am sorry but I won't take no for an answer, now come on let me help you to your feet"

"I dunno if I c-can stand" he said weakly followed by more relentless and painful coughing and retching. Iris helped this tall injured man to his feet and was almost surprised at how light he was for someone at his stature. She helped him put his arm over her shoulder so she could help get him back to her apartment for safety. He could barely walk at all and she was getting worried about him.

She can try and help but she knew he should really be at a hospital which is just not an option for someone like him at this time. As she slowly walked him out of the alley she noticed the police sirens were sounding closer and closer. She was beginning to panic a bit.

Just as she thought there was no safe way to her apartment she saw someone in their car come to a sudden stop and an old, well off looking man opened the door and ran out in a panic as a group of masked men chased him down. Iris only cared about one thing and that was whether this man had left his keys in the ignition. "Hold on ok? I'm gonna get you somewhere safe "

She walked him over to the car and opened the back door to gently get him in. "I don't feel so good" he mumbled, barely coherent.

Iris took her black hoodie off and draped it over him with the hood over his head so no one would see who he was. She made sure his seatbelt was on and said "Stay awake for me okay? You might have a concussion or something so please stay awake"

Joker gazed at her with glassy eyes as she smiled warmly at him. He had never seen anyone on earth ever look at him in such a way not even his mother. He smiled slightly and said weakly, "You're really pretty" which was then followed by that same abnormal giggling he seemed to have trouble suppressing.

A normal person might have been offended but he did not seem to even want to be laughing at all. It was as if he simply could not stop it and on top of that it made him wince in pain every time and it made his caughing much worse, so it just didn't add up.
Iris thanked him even though she almost wanted to giggle because he sounded like someone who had had too many gin and tonics at the bar, but she found herself thinking that it was endearing. She was now beginning to notice that she thought he was cute and she knew she had to suppress those feelings or at least not allow her thoughts take it any further.

Iris stared at him for a moment and began to think there was something very familiar about him, but she didn't have time to think, she needed to move and move past. She did get a strange case of deja vu when her eyes met his, but told herself it was nothing and continued with her irrational and reckless task at hand.

Joker looked down for a moment and she got afraid he was going to pass out so she gently lifted his head and propped him up correctly in the back seat.
He looked at her with that same drunken looking smile and repeated "You're really pretty"

She tried not to laugh and said "Thank you, but I need you to try and lean back but please stay awake"
He had his head pressed against the seat and he slowly turned his head to look at her and said "I'm a-always awake"

******

🖤

Chapter Text

Beautiful Chaos

Chapter 4 "An Irrational Risk"

 

Her face fell when she heard the undeniable pain in his voice. Once she made sure he was safely secured she quickly got in the front seat, started the car and zoomed off, dodging crazy people left and right. She kept looking into the rearview mirror repeatedly to make sure he was still awake and breathing. So far so good.
Unfortunately for Joker all this unpleasant motion in the car was making his vertigo worse and he even when he tried to close his eyes he had to stop because he was trying not to pass out.
Iris looked into the rearview mirror for what felt like the 100th time in the last 8 minutes and said "Hey don't pass out we're almost there"

His ears were starting to ring now and he was beginning to feel the horrible sensation of nausea again. Once she made it to her apartment and got to the parking lot she hurriedly undid her seatbelt, got out and went to open the door and saw that Joker was slumped forward. She frantically opened the door and lifted him up saying "Hey can you hear me?"
He opened his eyes slightly with a faint smile and said for the third time "You're r-really pretty"

"Thank you, now I really need to get you inside, so let's go come on"

She knew she had to be gentle with him but also knew she needed to hurry. She lifted him out of the car from under his arms and then looked around to see if anyone was around. She was relieved that she didn't see anyone.

She went as fast as she could possibly go, carrying dead weight to the entrance, hoping to God that no one would see her and just when she thought she was in the clear and right about to get to the elevator one of her annoying neighbors called out from behind her. "Hi Iris, how are you?"
She thought it was strange that she felt the need to stop her just to ask how she was. "Fine, everything is great" she responded, while putting as normal of a smile she could put on, while under these circumstances.

"Who's your friend?"

Iris wanted to shoot this woman in the face right now, but she needed to act natural so she turned around slightly making sure she wouldn't be able to see her "friend's" infamous face. "Oh this is just my friend uh...Mike and you'll have to excuse us I have to get upstairs"

Joker began to retch and dry heave making this whole situation look worse than it already was.
"Oh, is he alright?" she asked

Iris rolled her eyes and then turned to her smiling and said "Yes, he's fine he's just had a little too much to drink is all"


"Oh ok well you two enjoy yourselves then" she said,  trying to give off subtle signals, basically assuming they were going to go fuck.


"We sure will" Iris shot back at her sarcastically hoping she would leave her alone now, but to no avail.
"Did you hear about what happened on the Murray Franklin show? Oh it was awful"

Iris was starting to get extremely nervous now. "Yeah I heard and, yes it was so very awful indeed, now I'm sorry, but I must be going ya know I need to put Mike here to bed"

Joker was in and out of consciousness, but he was starting to feel nervous too, even though he didn't really know what was even going on so then against his will he began to laugh and Iris looked at him and knew there was no way he was doing all this laughing on purpose but his laughter was still rather manical sounding nonetheless. Then her neighbor was staring at him as if she suspected something.

Right as Iris was just about to push the button to open the elevator doors Joker burst out laughing again but this time he was laughing so hard that he was practically choking and then was caughing and gasping for air in between. She noticed that it didn't sound natural there was something different about it and it also made her feel sad for some reason.

Iris finally got on the elevator and saw her nosy neighbor still staring at her and her new friend. Iris grinned at her, waving goodbye.

Finally when the doors finally shut she let out a huge sigh of relief. Joker was still laughing but something just wasn't right it almost sounded as though he was having some sort of anxious episode and on top of it it was making him caugh a lot more than he already was. "Hey, try to calm down or you'll choke to death okay?" She spoke soft and gently to him and when he looked at her and saw her looking back at him with kind eyes he managed a to give her a half smile and he could feel himself relax a little and so his unannounced laughter gradually died down. It seemed right as he gazed at her. Iris found herself wanting to smile back but instead she looked away as he she could feel herself blushing.

"What is wrong with me?" she asked herself but has asked herself that question her entire life and never as there come an answer. Finally, they were on her floor and the elevator doors opened and she peered her head out and glanced left and right quickly to see if the coast was clear and she was grateful to the gods so seriously that it was.

"Alright I live right down there in apartment 4D so come on let's go" she noticed that she had been talking to this mad man as if he were a child, but she could not deny that there wad something gentle about him and she dared to even think that perhaps there was also something beautiful about him as well. She struggled to get him to her apartment but finally she brought him to her door and for once was grateful it wasn't locked. She heard one of her other neighbors doors begin to open and she immediately got inside and shut her door releasing a huge sigh.

"Where...where are we?" this unusual man asked her weakly.
She was so relieved to finally be inside and was also relieved to be able to set this man down on her couch so that she wasn't carrying him anymore and give her shoulders a rest. She realized she didn't answer his question but was too busy carefully setting his weak and beaten body down on the couch that she had forgotten he said anything.

"This is where I live and I'm gonna lay you down on the couch and go grab some pillows okay?"

Joker simply gave her that same silly little smile and said, "Kay"
She went into her bedroom and grabbed a couple of pillows, took the pillowcases off of them, grabbed a towel to put on top of them for blood and then got a hand towel from her small bathroom and wet it. She came back into the living room and saw he was leaning forward lighting a cigarette and he looked like he was having a hard time and was afraid he would burn himself.
"Here let me help you" she said gently

When she knelt down in front of him lighting his cigarette she was so engrossed in help mode that she didn't realize he was staring right at her and when she looked up and saw him looking directly at her, only inches from her blushing face and the worst part of it was that his legs were fully spread right in front of her. She wanted to look away but found herself entranced by his vibrant, incandescent green eyes. Her heart was starting to beat faster and she had to look away. He was still looking at her smiling that same smile as if it was reserved for her....

********

🖤

Chapter Text

Beautiful Chaos: chapter 5

"Alone Together Beyond the Crowd"

 

After his cigarette was lit she stood up and looked away from him and now she wanted a cigarette too but suddenly realized that she had run out and never went to get more do to the circumstances. She turned back around and saw he was now leaned back on the couch smoking away and looking very content for someone who could barely walk without almost falling over. "Hey I ran out of smokes can I bum one of yours...please?" She could tell he heard the nervousness in her voice and he smiled again and said "Yes of course"

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a red pack of cigarettes and extended his arm for her to take one. She smiled coyly at him and took one and quickly lit it. She needed a cigarette after all of this insanity especially after looking this mysterious man's eyes.

Even though Joker was feeling a little better now that he was sitting down but he still was feeling woozy and had to try and not move too much so he wouldn't get nauseous again. He also was unbelievably exhausted but even when he would not be able to sleep for days and was very tired he still had trouble or woke up on and off or had night terrors. Night terrors that, up until recently, he had thought had no actual reason, but unfortunately they do and those memories that he had suppressed for most of his painful life were still coming up from the deep, hidden crevices of his mind. They were torture...

"Oh, I completely forgot what I was doing" she stammered as she put the pillows down on the couch beside him. She put the towel over the one on top for him and hoped he would be able to rest but she also didn't know what to do and was afraid he wouldn't be okay or even possibly die because she didn't bring him to a hospital. He seemed okay now but she knew that didn't mean anything.

Iris saw him wince in pain when he tried to run his fingers through his wavy hair as if he forgot he had been injured. She also thought he might want to shower or something but was afraid he would fall and hurt himself even more or worse. She did think enough to get some rubbing alcohol along with the wet hand towel.

Joker was starting to feel like he just could not keep his eyes open and accidentally dropped his lit cigarette on her floor and when she saw the lit cigarette hit the floor her mind suddenly flashed into darkened halls of her memory, but she shook it off in order to tend to the current mess of a man slumped over on her couch. Iris knew it was an accident and quickly went over to grab it and put it out in the ashtray on her coffee table. She saw he seemed to be falling asleep but she was still worried.

She dared to bashfully take a seat next to him and try and clean his wound a little but she didn't want to frighten him so she asked him first.

He found it difficult to focus and felt like he was in a fog. He managed to look at her with glazed over half lidded eyes but when he tried to speak he couldn't seem to form words properly and his head was pounding. Without even realizing it he closed his eyes and rested his head on her shoulder and faintly grunted.

Iris felt very uncomfortable about this whole situation but now she felt it even more.

"Hey I'm gonna lay you down on your side ok and I'm gonna try and clean your head up okay?" she said softly despite her discomfort. It took him a minute but he nodded his head in response while it was still pressed into her shoulder.

She carefully moved him off of her and rested his head on the pillows but tried to be sure he was on his side in case he threw up. She gently brushed his wavy locks of hair out of his eyes and began to softly dab the blood that had been seeping out of his wound and down the side of his head. He didn't protest at all but his head was throbbing and it was bringing back that nasty nauseous feeling he despised so much.

"D-do you...have anything f-for...pain?" he asked barely able to even fully form words. His eyes rolled back in his head again even though he was trying so hard to stay awake for her. He thought she was an angel and never did he think he would ever deserve an angel but rather the opposite.

"Yes I think I might have some ib profen"

She saw he seemed to be sleeping again but she went to get the ib profen anyway and a glass of water for him. When she came back she walked over to him and crouched down beside him trying her best not to startle him. "Here take these it'll help"
He slightly opened his eyes and tried to prop himself up on his elbow to take the pills but as soon as he even tried his vertigo was so bad he was terrified that he would vomit all over her so he plopped his head back onto the support of the pillows and said faintly "Can...can you help me please...Every time I-I t-try to get up I maybe might thr-throw up"

Even though it was hard to fully understand him through his slurred speech she knew what he said. "Here, I'm gonna help you. I'll bring the pills to your mouth and all you have to do is take them and swallow them with this water okay?"

"Kay" he murmured.

Once she brought the pills to his mouth and he had them in his mouth she brought the glass of water to his lips and helped him to drink some to get the pills down. Strangely as he was in such close proximity to her blushing face she found herself thinking that he actually looked slightly familiar but she shook it off for the moment. She was going to put the glass back on the table but he held it and finished the whole thing. He didn't realize how thirsty he had been until he took that first sip. He was drinking it so fast though that he choked and started coughing again. He groaned softly in pain and held onto his ribs. He then rested his head back onto the pillows grunting and said "Thank you..."

Iris noticed he was clutching his ribs and gritting his teeth. "Did you hurt your ribs too?"
"Dunno" he breathed

She felt her heart break for him and she didn't even know why. She had no idea who he was or even what his real face looked like and from what did know he was a dangerous maniac but...she thought he seemed like a gentle soul at heart and he was kind to her and it was genuine. As she looked at this sad man in pain she instantly felt the urge to comfort him but she felt conflicted and was terrified of even the possibility of having feelings for this man. She was lost in the moment...

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

"Alone Together Beyond the Crowd"

Chapter Text

Beautiful Chaos

Chapter 6: The Babysitter

 

Iris was so lost in a daze that she forgot what she was even doing. Joker looked like he was about to be down for the count tonight. He was beyond exhausted and his head was spinning. She saw he was curling up and looked like he was cold so she went to her hall closet and pulled out a soft, warm blanket for him.


He was shutting his eyes tightly and holding his aching ribs and trying to finally sleep on top of making an attempt to not embarrass himself and or vomit his guts up onto her clean floor.

He had not felt this dizzy sick feeling since he was a teenager and wanted so badly to somehow have friends and fit in that he let a bunch of his much less socially inept and normal classmates to get him absolutely drunk while at a party. He was of course only invited because these other kids knew he liked this one girl and they told him to come because she wanted him to and he was so thrilled, but he would soon come to find that it was all joke and that maybe he was just a joke too.

*******

An Arthur memory....

This pretty girl he liked, who was also in on it, was there and was friendly with him and saw how he was bashful and shyly smiling in her presence and that only gave her more ammo to load her heartless pistol with so that she could shoot him down unexpectedly. 

She was having a beer and the other kids were too, but Arthur had never even had one drink in his life and when they offered him some with deceptive smiles he shook his head nervously.

The pretty girl looked at him with lovely serpent eyes and batted her long black lashes making him even more nervous which of course made get that awful feeling and he knew what it was...he was going to laugh and he wished so badly that he could control it.

He was starting to laugh and saw how his fellow classmates looked at him smiling, some laughing while others whispered in each other's ears. He needed it to stop so he acted on impulse and snatched one of the kids mixed drinks right out of their hands and started to down it but stopped less than halfway through and was caughing. It was disgusting but he did feel a little more relaxed and some of the "cool" kids seemed to be cheering him on even.

When he finished the glass quickly he certainly didn't feel he was going to have laughing outburst but he felt sick. They were all ominously cheering and knew he wasn't enjoying it and he remembers one of the guys in the crowd handing him another mixed drink which almost smelled worse that the first one and said to him, "Don't stop now buddy, don't you wanna impress your lady?" 

When Athur heard him say this to him and he looked at this "pretty" girl who was blowing him a phoney kiss that he thought was real and he looked at the glass practically being shoved in his face and took it apprehensively in his hand. They all cheered and it felt great and he looked at this girl he had been fawning over since he was 13 and drank it down. 

He was feeling more loose and relaxed than before and then at that point welcomed more drinks. He downed about 3 more and doesn't remember much after that other than hearing a lot of laughing and tasting grass and vomit in his mouth. 

He woke up with the side of his face pressed against grass and he had vomit in his hair and his head was pounding. He heard the sound of birds chirping and he knew the sun must be coming up.

He felt if he even moved he would be violently ill but he needed to get up. He slowly forced himself up and sat cross legged on the ground and looked around to see where he was. 

He was in a small park near his house. It was the middle of November and it was cold and his shoes were gone. He was alone and it hit him..."They...they left me here...alone" he muttered to himself, feeling some tears sting his already bloodshot eyes. 

"It was a joke to them....No...I was a joke to them" he croaked as he shakily got to his feet. That's when the vertigo hit him and he felt sick immediately but he was also freezing cold and needed to get home and lay down. 

He was too messed up to notice at first but he was freezing. His hands and feet were numb, but still he managed to stumble home hoping to God his mother was asleep. He didn't know how even managed to get to his front door without puking but he made it. 

Unfortunately for him his mom heard the door and saw her banged up son walk in the door. He remembers her scolding him and then allowing her nasty boyfriend at the time to beat him, leaving him on the kitchen floor feeling dazed. Still he got up and was glad his meek mother went back to her room with her repugnant boyfriend and as so walked unsteadily to his room that's when he felt an enormous wave of nausea hit him and he dashed to his room, which had a bathroom in it, and made a beeline straight to the toilet where he remained on and off for hours. 

At one point he went to go splash some water on his face and saw that the word "retard" had been written onto his forehead with a black permanent marker and he was enraged. He wanted to smash the mirror but was just too sick and exhausted. 

He wanted to go lay in his bed and get warm but he still felt ill so he grabbed the garbage bin from his bathroom and put it beside his bed. Still with all of his dirty clothes on he got into bed and curled up tightly with his blanket tightly over his shaking body.

He was asleep on and off and almos didn't even get his vomit into the bin a few times. He just wanted to curl up into a big ball and die. 

With his face pressed into his pillow he muttered, "I'm never drinking again..."

*********

When Iris walked back into the living room and saw him with such relentless suffering molded onto his painted face she felt a kind of pain in her heart that she hadn't felt in years. The pain she felt wad attached to an equally painful memory but she needed to have her head clear so she choked back some tears and walked over to this sad clown and draped the soft blanket over his shaking body. While she put the blanket on him she saw him open one bloodshot, glazed over eye to glance up at her and saw she was staring again.

"Th-thank you" he croaked as he pulled the blanket tightly on his body for warmth.

Iris has a cat and suddenly her little cat Tilly came wondering into the room to see who this stranger was. To her surprise Tilly instantly went to him and rubbed her soft cheek against his hand that was dangling lifelessly off the couch. He recoiled at first when he felt this foreign sensation against his long, slender fingers.

He opened his heavy eyelids and saw the small, innocent feline looking up at him with golden eyes and a weak half smile curved the corner of his blood stained mouth. The curious was purring with delight as she continued to rub her soothingly soft cheek against his weak hand.

Iris just stood still and watched this as if it were a touching film on the big screen. She smiled without even intending it. She even dared to giggle a little when her precious cat let out a quiet little meow and then she made the error of jumping up on his beaten body to extend her affection further, but Joker let out a moan because she was standing right on his injured ribs and aching back.

Iris dashed over to the couch to gently pick her cat up and place her back down on the floor. She protested at first and attempted to jump back on top of him, but fortunately for the outsider laying in her couch she caught her and unfortunately was forced to put Tilly in her bedroom and close the door just so that she didn't accidentally hurt this poor man.

"Hey do you want your shoes on while you go to sleep?" Iris asked.
"Ummm why would you even ask that? What are you even going to do Iris? Remove his shoes for this murderer as if he were a child at bedtime?"

Joker had his tired eyes closed again and seemed to be finally passed out. She wanted to see if he wanted something stronger for the pain, but one thing she did know was that if he does in fact have a concussion narcotics could make him worse especially with his nausea and vertigo.

She quietly walked over to the couch and against her better judgement she stared crouched down and removed his shoes for him very, very carefully so she did not wake him or frighten him either. She was still worried, but took comfort in seeing he was breathing steadily now and even occasionally letting out at soft and sleepy sigh. He shifted slightly when she took off his shoes but remained asleep.

"Thank the fucking lord I didn't wake him"

Iris stared at him sleeping for a moment, her heart beginning to set aflame against her will. She to stop herself from acting on any of these irrational feelings or urges. It was bad enough that she had a wanted man in her apartment.

She leaned over him for a second to turn off the lamp next to the couch and even though she wanted to sit on the chair beside the couch and watch him all night she went to her room instead as and shut her door quietly and then slid down the door and sat on the floor with her knees to her chest feeling emotional and trying to suppress tears. She stood up and went over to her dresser to change into her pajamas and then jumped when she heard some kind of shuffling in the living room.

She immediately dashed out of her room and saw this man, this killer with a painted face crawling on the floor right beside the couch. He seemed not be lucid at all.

"Hey what happened? Do you need something?"
Joker looked up at her her with blood shot dazed eyes and mumbled something she could barely comprehend. She went to him and crouched down to try and hear him better.

He succeeded in sitting up and leaning his back against the couch and said, "I-I don't feel so g-good..." Iris was still having a hard time understanding him, but soon realized what he was trying to tell her when he turned his head to the side and began retching violently.

Iris got to her feet and tried to find a bin or something but she was too late. She felt so bad for this man especially watching him dry heave like that all while feeling the horrendous pain in his ribs which was made worse by his awful retching.

She didn't know what else to do except kneel down beside him and caress his back while he was being sick. Finally after a lot of painful retching he felt that nasty tastes of bile come up and he started vomiting onto the floor a while attempting to apologize to this woman, in between bouts of throwing up, that opened her home to him and made him feel safe for the first time in his life.

Iris continued to rub his back and it pained her so to see him suffer like this. All that was coming up was bile because he almost never ate. He never thought much about it like a normal person would. Many times he wouldn't even realize it much for even two days or more. He did not care much about himself at all.

Just when Joker stopped throwing up and was trying to catch his breath he felt the unpleasant taste of bile yet again and was vomiting again.

"Let me get you some water" she said as she made a beeline to her kitchen to grab a cold water bottle from her fridge. She felt totally helpless and did not even know if this vomiting and being incoherent were red flags or not.

When she made her way back over to him and tried to hand him the water he still kept his head turned away from her, wiping his now snotty nose and pukey mouth as if he were ashamed of himself for being sick even though it was nothing to be ashamed of and it was something he couldn't help.

Even though he seemed to be finished vomiting. It was strange, Iris did not know him much at all but she could tell he was terribly embarrassed and that he wished he could disappear.

Iris put her hand on his shoulder and said to him, "Hey there's no need to be embarrassed or anything it's no big deal. Now please try and drink some water slowly"

*********

Unbeknownst to her not only was he feeling sick he was also trying hard to fight a horrific childhood memory that insidiously decided to pop up in his mind and it made him shut his eyes tightly and almost cry, but he would not allow himself to make even more of a fool of himself in front of this kind woman. He just kept having terrifying flashes in his head of being on a dirty floor and the rank smell of urine all around him and him not able to move much at all as if he were tethered to something.

He was a just a boy and now as a grown man he finds himself still feeling like that little boy trapped and unable to even use a bathroom or even eat and the sickening smell of urine all around him. This painful blade of buried trauma had stabbed into his head deep and he wished he was dead, but was instead badly injured and somehow expected to walk around sliced up and bruised all over from trauma and the rage that it breeds.

***********

"Do you maybe want something to settle your stomach like some crackers?" 

He cringed and shook his head weakly saying "No-no food" 

She saw him look like was going to puke again at the mere mention of food so she dropped it. He seemed to be trying very very hard not to be sick again.

"Are you gonna be sick again? So you want some tissues or something?

"N-no" he croaked

"No to which one?" She asked

He couldn't even answer because he could feel that ominous saliva fill his mouth and he felt like he was maybe just going to burp but quickly knew that it wasn't just a burp so he turned his head and threw up yet again and then put his forearms on her coffee table in front of her and hung his head down trying to just feel better. He was so very tired.

He lifted his head up, leaned back onto the couch, looked at her with blood shot pitiful eyes, breathing heavily and said, "I'm s-sorry about your floor...sorry"

"Don't worry about that please just take this water and I'll get you something for the nausea okay?" He nodded weakly in response and took the water bottle from her as she asked. At first he drank a little too fast and it made him cough again. 

Iris also handed him some tissues and he took them and even mustered a weak little smile for her as thanks even though he felt so awful.

As awful as he felt he still thankfully felt safe which was so very foreign to him.

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Chapter Text

Beautiful Chaos 

Chapter 7: The Sleepy Murderer

 

Iris went to go get something for his nausea and then made it back to him as quickly as possible. He was starting to slump over like he did in the car and Iris was starting to panic.

"No, this isn't right you need to be in a hospital" she said as she put her hands on the sides of head.

The very second she uttered those words he tightly grasped her wrist and looked at her with so much pure intensity that she almost felt her nether regions set aflame. "No, no hospital" he said through gritted teeth. For some reason she just felt speechless and all she could do was stare. He was serious. She didn't even expect him to have even that much strength.

When she said those words Joker felt his fiery adrenaline race through his broken body and grant him some strength to be sure this woman knew he was serious.

He knew that is he went to a hospital not only would the police find him, but he would taken back to that horrible unspeakable place called Arkham...

"Oh...okay, just don't know what to do. I'm afraid I'm going to get up in the morning and find the dead body of a murderer on the run"
He may have been serious but so was she. He slowly loosened his grasp on her wrist and let her go.

He intense gaze dropped and his eyes looked sad because he felt terribly guilty for grabbing her and speaking to her in such a way. "I apologize....I should not have touched you like that" he said as he looked away like a child who knew they did something wrong but didn't want to face it.

Iris looked at the remorse on his face and heard the shame in his voice and it honestly baffled her. This was a man who shot a television host in the head in cold blood on live TV and all she saw was a sad frightened man who felt all alone in the world.

Iris could not find any words for the life of her so all she did was was hand him two dramamine pills and said "Here, take these it will help with the nausea and dizziness"

Joker turned his head to face her looking almost as if he were going to cry. He pushed her hand away rejecting her help yet again. "I don't n-need anything" he croaked.

Iris almost felt as though she were babysitting a sick child. "Don't make me force you" she said with a hint of anger in her voice that she clearly failed to suppress.

Joker still wouldn't look at her and started to feel faint again and just wished he could sleep and he cringed when he felt the nausea creep up again so he reluctantly took the pills from her hand and swallowed them down with some water. He leaned his back against the couch for a few minutes with his eyes shut tryind to fight that awful queasy feeling.

Now he started to try and get back onto the couch refusing any assistance again. He eventually flopped onto the couch and seemed to already be asleep.

Iris went to grab a towel to clean his vomit off the floor and as she was on her knees cleaning it up she looked over at him and almost jumped when she saw one drowsy eye staring at her. He was laying on his stomach and half of his face was pressed into the pillows leaving only one glassy eye to look upon her puzzled face.

She looked away but when she looked up again he was still staring. "Th-thank you...for helping me" he grunted with a low, hoarse voice.


Iris suddenly felt this warm sensation rush through her entire body and she was blushing now and hoping he did not notice it. "You're welcome" she said as she continued to clean the floor. "I'm so sorry" he breathed

She knew she had to contain herself, but she ignored those warnings and reached her arm out over his bewildered head and gently placed her hand on his head and stroked his thick, wavy hair. She could see that under some of the green color there were dark brown strands of hair revealing a bit of his real self.

She saw him allow her to do this as if she had somehow earned this damaged man's trust and he allowed his eyes to finally close. Right before she took her hand off of his head to allow him to sleep he mumbled something under his breath. "I still think you're really pretty"

Iris heard these words she had to battle with herself and not allow herself to swoon at the sound of those words, but her body still could not stop that warm, jubilant feeling from rushing through her veins.

She sat down on the chair beside the couch for a little while making sure he was asleep and doing alright but eventually she got up and grabbed the dirty towel and went to throw it in the trash because she didn't care about that old towel so throwing it away was easier. 

As she was walking to the hall she heard something hit the floor. She curiously glanced behind her and saw that Joker had rolled over but something fell out of his pocket and she simply had to see what it was. She softly padded over to the couch and saw that his wallet had fallen out of his pocket. 

"Leave it alone Iris...It's not your wallet so leave it be..."

Of course she ignored her voice of reason and picked it up off the floor quietly and immediately opened it. There was not much cash in it but she saw his ID and it said Arthur Fleck and she looked at his picture and then looked over at the sleeping killer on her bed and almost couldn't believe it.

"No way"

When she looked closer she narrowed her eyes and pondered for a moment and whispered to herself, " I know him..."

Little to his knowledge she has seen him on the bus a few times. In fact, he even sat next to her once. The bus was very crowded and she did not want even want him next to her, in fact she even remembers thinking "Oh God please don't sit next to me, please anyone but you"

Every time she saw him he would glance at her and give her a timid smile but she ignored him mostly and thought he might be a creep. She was now remembering how he had this odd uncontrollable laughter and at first she thought he was just a nut job but over some time she noticed that he almost seemed to be suffering as he laughed and he would even choke and lose his breath and that's when she started to feel empathy towards him even though she still didn't really want to be around him. 

She also recalls very vividly how people on the bus were so cruel to him and sometimes kids would throw things at him and call him names because of his strange uncalled for laughter. She even got up and stopped someone once from trying to hit him because this person didn't understand that this poor man was not laughing at him.

She remembers how he cowered before this angry man and put his hands up over his head very much like how he did when she tried to help him in that alley.

"Oh, Arthur..." she murmured as she stared at the man, she now knew as Arthur, sleeping soundly in her very own apartment. She could hear him sigh a few times sleepily and it made her mouth curve into a little smile and that's when it hit her...she was developing a crush on this stranger and she instantly dropped her smile but there was absolutely nothing she could do about her true feelings she held deep within her abused heart. 

Iris finally retired to her bedroom and softly shut her door and let out a quiet little squeal as if she were 16 years old again. She went into her bathroom and washed her face and when she looked at her reflection in the mirror she sighed heavily lowering her head and said, "What is wrong with you Iris? Why? Why him? Just stop....stop this...stop it now"

She was in tears because she knew she was not going to be able to resist the new flame that has been lit in her heart and it terrified her...

******

The memory that she had burned in her brain the most was one time when she was on the bus and he sat next to her because the bus was full and even though he would still normally stand he sat down this time and she was polite and smiled but she still didn't really want him next to her. He sat on the side furthest from the window. It was strange, he was sweating and pale and she thought maybe he was a junkie or something which made her feel pain in her heart from memories past, but somehow she knew that wasn't it.

There was one very memorable moment when he looked at her and apologized politely, but she knew not what for. He looked very sick and she even asked him if he was okay and he coughed and simply nodded in response. He told her he was on his way to work and she suddenly felt her empathetic heart go out to him. 

"This poor man was still going to work even though he is clearly very ill" she thought.

He was having difficulty staying still and looked like he was about to be sick. She remembered he looked at her apologized yet again and then fell right over onto the floor of the bus. She noticed no one paid him any mind and she just did not understand why. He just laid there and then rolled on his side and threw up and was even choking a little and knew this man needed help. Everyone looked disgusted and moved away from him. As she saw him suffering like that on the floor it opened up some painful memories that she ways chose to suppress.

She was the only one who tried to help him. She got on the floor with him and tried to prop his head up so he didn't choke on his own vomit again and he looked at her the same way that his other half sleeping on her couch looked at her only moments ago. 

Eventually the bus stopped and that was his stop and she watched this man shakily get to his feet, thank her timidly and stumble off the bus quickly as if trying avoid some how being a burden. She felt so sad for him.

The strangest thing about that day was that she remembered how beautiful she thought his eyes were. She hadn't really noticed them much until that day when she got closer to him. They were like emeralds and they were breathtaking.

*******

"Arthur Fleck " 

Iris looked at the clock on her nightstand and and saw that it was nearly 3am and she sighed as she finally got into bed and smoked a cigarette she had "borrowed" from him before she switched her light off.

As she smoked her last cigarette for the night all she could think about was him. When she shut the light off she found it difficult to sleep, but after about an hour or so of tossing and turning she fell asleep hoping that her dreams would be of him...

*******

Chapter Text

Beautiful Chaos 

Chapter 8: "You make me Smile with my Heart"

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It was 9am and Iris' eyes shot open as if she were waking up from drunken stupor and rolled over and forgot for a moment that there was a wanted, mad man on her couch. She quickly got out of bed and stopped to fix her hair a bit as if she wanted to look good for him. She laughed at herself and opened her door and her heart suddenly began to race. Her cat Tilly dashed out the door and was immediately headed towards the couch.

"Tilly no" she whispered sharply

Arthur was in the same position and she was extremely relieved to hear the faint sound of him lightly snoring. Tilly was meowing in his face and Iris cringed and walked over to the living room to try and prevent her cat from jumping on him. 

He didn't budge. He was dead asleep and she was glad because she knew this poor man needed it. She wondered if she should make him some coffee or breakfast or something but she didn't want to disturb him or make him eat if he was still feeling sick or make his anxiety worse with caffeine. 

Iris was able to snatch her cat and gave her cat food in her bedroom and shut the door while she was preoccupied. Iris called out of work for the day (which she never did) because she did not want to leave him alone in this condition.

Arthur stirred in his sleep and let out a soft groan and turned over facing the couch cushions. He let out a sleepy sigh and did not move for almost 3 hours. 

********

Iris kept herself busy while he was resting and showered and put her makeup on as if she were going out on a date. She felt so silly, but just went with it regardless. 

She desperately needed a cigarette but she had none left now and she did not want to leave him. She couldn't help but eyeball Arthur's nearly full pack of cigarettes on the coffee table. 

 She shrugged her shoulders and said to herself, "I'll just buy him more"

She quietly walked over to the coffee table and carefully slid one of his cigarettes out of the pack. She grabbed his lighter as well, lit her cigarette and let out a sigh of bliss as she exhaled the smoke. 

She awkwardly stood by the coffee table smoking while repeatedly staring at her window and then staring at Arthur as if she would be scolded. She eventually went to go take a seat on the chair next to the couch. 

Arthur stirred again and released a long sigh from his exhausted body and rolled over, his face now facing the coffee table. He was still dead asleep like someone who had gone on a full out drinking binge the previous evening.

"Poor guy" she thought and the immediately scolded herself internally.

"Stop it Iris...he's a fucking murderer for fuck's sake..."

She stared at him and found herself smiling coyly yet again as he sleepily held one of the pillows tightly to his chest and pulled the blanket up to his neck. 

After about an hour or so Iris was her 7th cigarette and was reading the paper sitting casually as her eyes scanned the pages that were filled with articles about what took place last night on the famous Murray Franklin snow. Even though she knew about all of this violent terror that took place she still found herself unable to not smile at the sight of the sleeping culprit laying on her very own couch.

"You're a sick person, Iris" she giggled to herself as she took another long drag as escaped into her own thoughts for a moment....

**********

Iris normally used her TV strictly for movies and never used the cable. She adored cinema and had countless films on tape that she would watch over and over. Films had always brought her immense elation and excitement since she was a girl.

Since a very young age she has preferred fantasy over mundane and disappointing hell that was reality. The films she adored were a part of her heart and soul and that part about her never changed. Fantasy was beautiful and full of passion even if it was tragic it was still beautiful to her. She has heard countless times people say a movie was sad when she asked if they liked it and she always found that odd and definitely not the answer to her question. There is pure and immense beauty in sadness as there is in joy and that's something that she always felt made us human, but most people she has encountered in her life simply did not understand that. They thought she was odd, but truth be told that's what she thought about all of them. Dull...boring...lifeless

************

Eventually she set the paper down on the coffee table choosing to completely ignore that this man was wanted and on the run from the authorities. She put out her cigarette, leaned back in her chair and stretched. She noticing that she was exhausted. 

It was now almost 1 in the afternoon and she was hoping that he was alright and just needing his rest. Iris was watching him as he slept and then found herself feeling sleepy as well and right as she was nodding off on the chair she jumped when she heard her phone ring.

Arthur's eyelids slowly parted and through half open eyes he saw a woman walk past him and could hear that she was speaking but he was feeling so foggy and drowsy that he found it difficult to makeout what this woman was saying. His throat was dry and he could taste blood in his mouth. He touched his head and flinched when he felt the damage done from last night become apparent from the awful pain in his head. His entire body was incredibly sore.

He felt like everything was in slow motion and found it difficult to even get his eyes to open all the way. He noticed someone seemed to be talking to him, but he couldn't even tell. He felt his heart jump when he saw a woman crouched down in front of him. He quickly sat up and instinctively reached into his pocket for his pistol, but he had forgotten that he did not have it with him anymore. 

"Hey, it's okay. You slept here at my aparmtent last night remember?" She said as she tried to place a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to calm him down. His frightened eyes quickly scanned his surroundings, but he still did not remember where he was. She saw that he was truly frightened and it broke her heart.

"Arthur...it's gonna be alright" 

When she said his name his eyes immediately locked with hers and even though he was still so lost, scared and confused, when he looked into her eyes he found himself start to feel he was safe. 

He did not remember much, but he did remember her soft, soothing voice. So gentle...so utterly perfect...

When she said his name his eyes immediately locked with hers and even though he was still so lost, scared and confused when he looked into her eyes he found himself start to feel he was safe.

Iris brought her hand slowly to touch the top of his and she said earnestly, "Arthur...I know you may not remember, but... I used to see you on the bus. You even sat next to me once"

It took a while for what she was saying to register in his clouded mind, but as he looked into her honest and caring eyes he suddenly felt his body begin to relax. It took him a while but he did vaguely remember her trying to help him one time when he was very sick on the bus.

As her hand was on the top of his head he found it strangely comforting. Arthur usually would flinch if anyone touched him, but as she had her caring hand on his aching head he felt that he was safe. She was safe...

As a child Arthur never had much affection at all and ever since he read his mother's file he'd been having horrific memories plague his mind and he would have terrifying flashbacks. His laughter had even worsened and he would have night terrors. The only reason he did not have them last night was simply because he was passed out from his accident.

"Do you understand?" she asked as she dared to bring her hand to the side of his face.

Arthur did not utter a single word for a moment and gazed up at this stranger and couldn't help but notice how beautiful her long, dark burgundy hair was. 

Iris found her eyes locked with his as if she were under some sort of hypnosis caused by his vivid golden, green eyes and how lovely strands of his wavy disheveled hair fell beautifully over his painted forehead. 

Even though he was frightened and confused he knew one thing for sure....that he did not want to be anywhere but here...with her.

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

 

End Chapter 8 💕

 

 

 

Chapter Text

Beautiful Chaos 

Chapter 9: "Oh...do it again"

 

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

 

Iris brought herself back to reality and quickly recoiled and looked away like an embarrassed virgin. 

Arthur leaned back, now that he was feeling calmer and began to look around her living room and he finally spoke.

"What's your name?" he asked, his voice sounding very hoarse as he yawned.

She looked at him with a smile sculpted on her timid face and said, "My name is Iris" 

"Iris...that's a nice name. My name is Arthur" he said with a slight giggle at the end because he had forgotten that she already knew his name.

Iris could not seem to stop smiling. She raised her arm and put her hand on the back of her head and said, " Yes, I know your name. I've seen you on the bus a lot and as I said before I even tried to help you one time when you were very sick, but you resisted me and stumbled off of the bus and were gone" 

Arthur pondered for a moment and took him a little while, but then he looked at her again with those beautifully dangerous eyes and said softly, "I remember now...I did manage to make it to work on time as I always do, but I didn't even make it out of the locker room from what I remember"

Arthur sounded distant as he spoke and was staring off into nothing. He was silent for a moment and then said, "My coworker Gary was the only one who really tried to help me from what I remember, but the only great part about that memory was when I puked all over Randall" 

Iris felt so warm inside when she saw him giggle as he finished speaking. 

"Poor guy"

He was silent for a while and went to grab his pack of cigarettes and saw that there was only one left and his eyes glanced back up at her and to her surprise he gave her a sly half smile that curved the corner of his bloody lips and she tried so hard not to swoon. He laughed lightly and said, "You owe me a pack of cigarettes, well probably about 14 cigarettes to be exact"

She heard him giggle playfully and she tried to hide her unbridled glee but couldn't help but laugh back. 
He was still laughing as he took his last cigarette out of the pack. He went to grab his lighter from his pocket and looked puzzled. He still found himself feeling a little foggy from the accident so he couldn't seem to remember where he put it.

When Iris snapped herself out of her little drunken, love state she remembered that she had his lighter. She took it out of her pocket and handed it to him.

"You took it out of your pocket last night and let me use it remember?" she asked trying to suppress a smile at how adorable she thought he was.

He stared off into space for a moment and said, "Oh...Honestly I don't remember a whole lot from last night"

"That's okay you hurt your head very badly and you were honestly not coherent much at all" She glanced at him as she said this wondering if he remembered how he kept calling her pretty and suddenly felt sad for a moment when she thought about the possibility that he was only saying those things because he was not lucid.

Arthur kept staring into space as if he were trying to pick up the lost pieces of his memory from last night but immediately gave Iris his full attention when she blurted out, "Oh don't worry we used protection"

All he did was stare at her dumbfounded and looked down furrowing his brow. He really believed her.

Iris saw his reaction and felt so embarrassed. "I was kidding, silly" 

Arthur laughed and Iris awkwardly laughed back, but little did he know that she felt shot down in a way. The face he made she thought was a clear indication that he wasn't even attracted to her. Her usually silent rational voice chimed in...

"Iris he has been been seriously injured and he is struggling to even remember anything from last night and the last thing on your mind should be whether or not he thinks your attractive"

"I'm really sorry, that wasn't funny" she said and she went to give him his lighter.

To her surprise he snapped out his muggy train of thought, looked up at her with those same riveting eyes and smiled again with that same delightful, villainous look on his face and proceeded to light his cigarette leaving Iris dying in suspense as to what that smile meant.

When he took that first drag it felt amazing and he leaned back and stared at the ceiling as he exhaled smoke from his mouth making Iris drool. She did notice something though and even though she was beguiled by his beauty she saw that he was bouncing his leg nervously.

Even though with the clothing and the makeup he was "Joker" when she saw things like that or his shy demeanor that's where she saw who he really was underneath all that...He was that anxious, broken but benevolent man who didn't even have an iota of that same kindness for himself. 

Even as he smiled at her with that grin that delighted her but that most people would fearful of Iris could see behind it and how this "Joker" is an embodiment of years of pain and unbelievable suffering and a burning rage that had been buried for years. The very worst part about all of this for her was the fact that she truly understood how that feels...

In a strange way she almost admired him for doing something about those horrendous feelings that dwelled from deep within like a sleeping demon come to life and most of all that he didn't care anymore about what people thought. 

She remembers one thing he said above all the words he spoke on Murray Franklin show last night and it was right after he boldly announced that he had killed those men on the subway and it was, "I've got nothin' to lose....Nothing can hurt me anymore" He said with such a carefree tone in his somewhat flamboyant voice ...

He continued to smoke and bounce his leg anxiously. He seemed to be in a daze staring up at the blank ceiling. His cigarette was smoked all the way down to the filter and he leaned forward and put it out.

"Are you okay?" she asked him nervously.

He ran his fingers through his wavy dyed hair on the side that wasn't hurt, glanced up at her and said, "Can I use your bathroom?" 

Iris honestly felt very, very wary about letting this man use the bathroom to the point where she almost wanted to ask him to keep the door open, but of course she wouldn't ask him that.


"Okay I'm gonna be blunt with you, yes of course you can use my restroom but if you're in there for too long I'm gonna open the door. Oh and don't you dare lock the door one more thing, I have a loaded pistol in my pocket kay?'

Joker simply smiled at her as if her were intrigued and simply nodded his head. He had trouble at first getting to his feet and felt dizzy for a moment and held his head in his hand for a moment and Iris saw this and felt her heart ache for him again.

"Do you need help?"

Arthur began to walk unsteadily a few steps away from the couch and when he walked closer to Iris to get to her hallway he stumbled and accidentally into Iris.

She held him so that he wouldn't fall and harm himself further and said to him, "Arthur, are you sure you're alright?"

Arthur found himself feeling better as he leaned on this warm, kind woman. The room was spinning and but, his bladder begged him to get to a bathroom so he stepped away from her trying so hard to keep his ground and said, "Yes I'll be okay...Thank you."

"Okay well my bathroom is right down there on the right. I'll he waiting by the door" she told him as she pointed to her short hallway.

Arthur didn't want any help just the same way he didn't want help when he was on the bus that day. He gained his balance and was able to make it to the bathroom fine. He shut the door and quickly undid his fly and finally emptied his bladder. It was such a relief and he did not even realize that he had to go so bad until he got to the toilet. 

Iris stood right by the door and waited for him to come out with her pistol loaded and ready in her pocket just in case. 

When Arthur was finished he went to wash his hands suddenly felt as if he were in a dream as he looked at his dirty hands and watched the blood and dirt wash off in the sink. When he looked up he almost jumped because he didn't realize that there was even a mirror there and on top of that he saw his own reflection. There was dried blood on one side of his head and all over his lips stretching past the corners of his mouth and his makeup from the previous night smudged and smeared all over his face as if he had just woken up from a night of binge drinking at a wild Halloween party. 

Arthur was totally lost in his own head, so lost in fact that he did not hear the sound of Iris knocking on the door. He was staring intently at his unkempt face in the mirror and he saw his own face glaring back at him as if he were another version of himself that had been locked away for many years. He touched the dried blood on one of the corners of his mouth and continued to stare blankly at his reflection until he snapped back into the other world of reality when the door opened....

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

 

And scene.....

 

 

Chapter Text

Beautiful Chaos

Chapter 10: "We're Creatures of the Wind"

 

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Iris peered in first just in case she would be catching him urinating or worse. "Hey, are you decent?" she asked, making sure to look away in case he wasn't. 

"Yes", he answered simply, with a soft raspy voice and even opened the door wide for her to see he wasn't doing anything suspicious. 

Iris almost felt bad for being to cautious but she had to be, especially when I came to men. She noticed he was staring at himself in the mirror intently and he looked so lost.

"Do you think I could use your shower?" he asked awkwardly. Now that he was pretty much fully awake he despite wanted to shower and rinse all this makeup off.

Iris tried to not blush like a virgin and said, "Well...I guess I don't see why not but I'm only giving you 15 minutes okay?"

He was back to to staring into the mirror again and didn't answer her. 

"Arthur, did you hear me?" she asked, feeling a little sad when she saw the expression on his tired face. He snapped out his dissociative state and looked at her with reddened, lamentable eyes and said nothing at first but then his blood stained lips parted and what he asked her was very strange but also broke her heart.

He said to her, "Are...are you real?" He looked almost as if he were going to cry. His brilliant golden green eyes were almost flooded with tears and his lip was even quivering slightly, almost the same way it did when he was on the bus that day when he was sick. 

Iris came into the bathroom to get closer to him and it pained her to see him back away fearfully as if she were some ominous figment of his deranged imagination. He even backed up further and was breathing heavier and heavier when she tried to get closer.

Iris stopped when she saw what a panic he was in and stood still as not to frighten him further or make him trip and possibly injure himself even more. "Of course I'm real Arthur...I even met you on the bus before I even saw you on that show last night"

Arthur seemed to be having a panic attack. He would look at her but he seemed to be in another reality that was false and terrifying to him and when Iris was daring enough to try to slowly place her loving hand on his tense shoulder he backed into her tub and fell in pulling her shower curtain down along with the rod.

Iris gasped and was fortunately fast enough to catch the rob before it hit him in the head. That was the last thing they needed to happen. "Hey, Arthur you're alright okay?" she said softly as she crouched down at his level to seem less intimidating to him in the state he was in. 

He was still cowering like a traumatized dog waiting to be put to death and that's when she could clearly see that on top of panicking he was obviously stifling this relentless, chronic laughter he despised so much, but he could only fight it for so long and against his will his maniacal laughter was released.

Iris felt to badly for him and helpless and she could tell he was so embarrassed. She simply looked at him with warm, kind eyes and said to him, "Arthur it's gonna be okay. I know you can't help it"

That was the first time anyone had ever even tried to empathize with uncontrollable laughter and he was in awe...

Iris attempted again to bring her comforting hand to him and placed it gently on his knee and gazed at him with empathy gleaming on her face and to her surprise he allowed her to do this. "Don't worry you're safe Arthur"

He was still breathing heavily but his laughter that he felt unwillingly tethered to finally subsided and his body relaxed a bit. He was caughing a little trying to catch his breath after his laughing episode. He leaned back against the the wall in her shower and took a deep breath, looked at Iris who was still looking at him with soft, earnest eyes. He stared back at her looking exhausted from his episode and then closed his eyes for a moment when he felt a headache coming on.

Iris watched him intently waiting for him to notice that her nervous hand had ventured down to touch the top of his. Her eyes widened when she saw him open his and lock with hers. Her heart beat began to quicken as she saw his faded red lips part. He looked like he wanted to speak but suddenly seemed to be overcome with constricting emotions.

When she saw his eyes venture down and to see her hand on his her heart was pounding. She wanted him to grasp her hand, but instead he looked at her flustered face and said weakl, "She wasn't real...I thought someone loved me but it was a lie"

Iris did not know exactly what he was speaking of but that didn't stop her heart from bleeding for the wounds of his own. She still did not drop her captivating gaze even when he let out a short anxious laugh, in fact, her very fingers slightly caressed the top of his pale, thin hand. 

Arthur turned his head away from her desperate gaze and started to breath heavily again and she could see his eyes strain and at first she assumed is was from his injury, but she soon saw that as he was turning away helplessly in an attempt to hide an escaped tear that he failed to stifle. 

Iris was paralyzed when this beautiful man all dressed in burgundy look back at her with tears welling in his vivid green eyes opened his apprehensive mouth and choked out one of the most painfully honest things he's ever said in his entire existence, "I'm so lonely...I've been so lonely...always lonely"

Iris was trapped in his efulgent eyes now brimming over with passion that equated hers and she finally felt the tingling sensation of his hand grasp hers. Her entire body was now on fire and she moved closer to him and this time did not flinch but held her hand even tighter and to her pleasant surprise he pulled her in closer bringing her blushing face close to his.

Iris was frozen and even though her lips felt they belonged pressed against his she still hesitated. She could see that even though he seemed to feel the same way he was also entranced and frightened at the same time. 

"Arthur" she shallowly breathed as she brought her apprehensive hand to his painted, bloodied
face and made the courageous yet reckless move of bringing her soft lips to his. As soon as her face drew closer to his he suddenly turned away and was breathing even faster now.

"I wish you were real..." Arthur croaked. 

Iris put her hand on his protruding cheekbone, her hand smudging his white makeup even more than it already was, and gently turned his benign face to look at hers. At first he looked away out of fear, but his eyes could only resist for so long before they were gazing at her again longingly and Iris wondered if he could hear how her heart was playing a melody that was just for him...she hoped he did...

Iris stared at him, her breath quickening, moving her hand to cup his chin and said, "Arthur...I am real...here let me show you" Arthur felt his body almost go completely limp and as her warm lips pressed against his he knew at that very moment that this woman was, in fact very real and he loved it.

Arthur found himself having many thoughts rush through his head as she kissed him...

"This is real...I can't believe it"
"Is this okay?
"Is this safe?"

Iris noticed that Arthur was resisting again slightly and to her surprise he pulled away again, but this time it was different. He looked like he was embarrassed of something like a child in school that was humiliated by his peers.

He still wouldn't look at her and he said, "I'm sorry"
"Why silly?" She asked as the caressed his cheek with the back of her hand

He started to squirm like he wanted her off of him and she was almost offended until she saw both his hands go down to his groin and cup around his genitals that were hidden beneath his maroon pants.

"He has an erection..." she thought.

Even though Iris could see that he was very embarrassed she couldn't help but be intrigued and flustered on top of that, but she threw that all aside so she could comfort this poor man.

"Arthur...that's nothing to be ashamed of. It's perfectly natural honey"

He still wouldn't say a word. He looked like he was going to have another panic attack. She felt so bad but didn't fully understand why he was so ashamed to the point of almost hyperventilating which was of course followed by his insufferable laughter that he despised so much. 

"What has this deplorable world done to this beautiful man...."

 

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

 

"You touch me

I hear the sound of mandolins

You
Kiss me
With your kiss
My life begins
You're spring to me
All things
To me

Don't you know you're
Life itself

Like a leaf clings
To the tree
Oh my darling,
Cling to me
For we're like creatures
In the wind
And wild is the wind
Wild is the wind

Wild is the wind
Wild is the wind"

 

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

 

 

 

 

Chapter Text

Beautiful Chaos 

Chapter 11: Stay

 

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

 

He wished now more than ever that he could stop it and that he wasn't plagued by this nerve wracking condition. It bothered him more specifically now for two reasons, he did not want to look like an absolute weak fool in front of this woman that made his blackened heart smile and the other reason was simply because his ribs and chest were banged up badly and the laughing made it hurt twice as bad. 

Iris saw how he suffered greatly from this unusual condition and also could see how he flinched from all the horrible pain from the accident last night as he laughed, but he couldn't stop it. 

Seeing this uncontrollable laughter up close and personal she couldn't understand how anyone could think he wanted this or was doing it on purpose. She could see the pain and tension in his eyes even though his mouth was laughing. 

Arthur was having a hard time and he was in tears at this point from the pain internally and externally. He suddenly felt Iris take his hand and hold it in hers. He was looking away from her and had actually gotten into the fetal position without even realizing it. 

Iris saw how he was suffering greatly and caressed his hand while sweetly saying in almost a whisper, "You're going to be okay Arthur. Try and count to 10 slowly in your head and keep doing it until you start to feel better okay?" 

Even though he thought it wouldn't work he tried it and even though he was at the point where his laughing was so bad that he was gasping desperately in between laughing and even gagging at this point, he still little by slowly was starting to calm down.

Iris was even able to get him to count with her once his laughter wasn't quite so bad. One thing that helped more than she may have realized is how her soft hand caressing his and how it comforted him greatly. 

Finally he was just caughing a little and trying to catch his breath and shortly after he was alright again and she held his hand the entire time. His other hand was busy clutching his side from all the agony that his episode put his already aching body through. He was so tired now.

Even though Arthur was okay now he still was embarrassed and had a hard time looking at her. He felt he needed to close his eyes for a moment and to Iris' surprise he held her hand tight and brought it to his chest and curled up even tighter than before as he held it. His head started to throb again but nothing felt better right now to him than holding her hand to his chest while he was in pain. 

Iris, of course, thought this was the most precious sight she had ever seen and she slightly smiled and if she were in a cartoon her eyes would be two huge beating hearts springing out of her head. She thought he was so special.

"Feeling a little better?" She asked as she moved closer to him.

Arthur still had his eyes closed and was in a lot of pain and was even staring to feel nauseous again from his headache, but he still managed a weak smile for her and said with cracked voice, " Yes thank you"

"Are you sure? You look like you're in a lot of pain" 

He opened his eyes slightly and they turned to look at her and he yet again shot her that meek half smile that curves the corner of his mouth beautifully and she even noticed how he has the most precious dimples.

Little did she know that Arthur was having a flashback of something very painful that took place when he was only 15 and he didn't want to tell her so he shut his eyes tightly and uttered,"You don't understand..." 

"Arthur if you're a virgin that's fine" 

Arthur took a deep breath, opened his eyes and said, "No, I'm not a virgin, but my first and only time was a nightmare...they all laughed at me..."

"Who did Arthur?" she enquired and almost instantly after she asked that he broke into a painful fit of laughter again. He was hysterical.

Iris was saddened by this but all that she could really do but was trying to be soothing to him until it passed so she

Athur had vanished into his own mind as soon as she asked this.....


"I can't tell her. She would think I was a joke, a loser...less of a man...less than I already am" Athur said inside his mind although just the day before he felt very much like a "man" and he felt powerful, but in this moment in the presence of this beautiful woman he felt like he 12 years old. 

**********

He's always felt very much like a child trapped in the body of a grown man that was begging to simply be heard and loved, but Arthur found that it was easier to ignore it to avoid reliving horrific past traumas. All the cries of that neglected boy inside of him fell on def ears and eventually he disappeared and was replaced by the very embodiment of his pain, rage and years of staying silent while he was beaten down and talked down to by almost every person in his life whether it was school, work, his tragic home life, or women that he thought he could trust including his own mother.

The constant burden of having to float around through this hell called life and not even feel he ever truly existed became so heavy that the weak little threads of what society would label as "sane" or "normal" had finally snapped and in turn Arthur then "snapped" as well and all the years of suppressing honest feelings and urges to fight back and stop wasting so much energy on how to fit in, have enough friends, have a great job, be good looking, be productive and over all basically to be fucking perfect.

When those thin threads finally snapped despite everyone else thinkng he was "crazy" something huge happened to him and he vividly remembered how he was suddenly struck with an amazing and indescribable feeling of the true and beautiful sensation of not caring what anybody thought about him for the very first time in his entire life. 

He was free and it was sensational...but with that being said he still had a lot of serious trauma that will forvever be burned in his mind and in the presence of this gentle, heavenly woman who took time to help him he still found that he was a nervous wreck.

"I just can't tell her....I can't"

*********

Arthur was was so exhausted from his previous episode and in so much pain still that as his body betrayed him yet again he hugged his ribs and felt tears sting his eyes and Iris noticed that gradually his painful laughter was becoming crying and then a little laughter again and then crying and so forth until eventually it finally stopped. He hurt so bad this time that he felt he almost couldn't even move at first so he stayed curled in fetal position with arms holding his sides with his eyes squeezed shut as he was trying to breath still without it hurting with every breath. 

Iris felt her heart sink seeing him in such a pitiful state and so she tried to take his hand again but she flinched when the second one of her fingers tips touched the top of his hand he jerked it away from her. Iris brought her hand back and asked him softly, "Arthur, would you like to be alone?"

"Wow she trusts me...she actually trusts me..." Arhtur pondered.

Right when Iris tried to stand up she stopped when she felt his hand suddenly touch her knee. He was finally looking at her and all she wanted to do was taste him and she felt that maybe he wanted that too but something was holding him back. 

"Stay..." he murmured, his glazed over debonair eyes gripping her again. He calmed down some and still felt very sore but doing better now and pushed away his deep seeded fears for the moment and put his hand on her cheek and managed a tender half smile. He was developing feelings for her and that scared him. He was so used to either being used by girls as some kind of joke or loving from afar knowing that it would never be reciprocated. His heart was like a porcelain statue on the edge of a shelf that could fall and shatter easily at any moment. All it would take is a little push. 

"Impossible...she's so beautiful and kind to me. How could she like me let alone want to kiss me like that?"

Iris had no idea what he was thinking but she hoped that the pining look in her eyes would be enough to feel his lips on hers again if only for a moment. She only had to convince him with her avid gaze for only a few short seconds longer before she was melting into his tender kiss and his hands even gripped her waist making her swoon. 

Arthur was drunk on the incredible sensation of her gorgeous body pressing against his. He even let out a small moan that was muffled by her lips fitting perfectly with his and her tongue entering his mouth and entangling with his. 

Iris knew she should stop, but her body was crying out to be one with his, right as she ran her fingers through his luxurious, tattered green locks and her hand traveled downward to feel his stiff phallus she heard a knock at her door. They both pulled away from each other practically panting and looked at eachother as if the knock on the door wasn't real but unfortunately it was very much real...

 

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

 

End Chapter 11 🌹

Chapter Text

Beautiful Chaos 

Chapter 12: Surprise!

 

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

 

Iris could tell that Arthur was getting nervous and hoped he wouldn't laugh at least not in this particular moment.

Iris was still staring at Arthur hoping that whoever it was they would go away. Her heart pounded as all the realistic consequences of keeping this man here with her were all stabbing into her passionate fantasy at once. She could see that Arhur was anxious as well and she knew that when he gets anxious that can mean another spell of laughter and she could see on his face that he was having the very same fear. 

They both heard the incessant knocking again and Iris could see Arthur was trying hard not to laugh and she simply kissed his forehead and whispered in his ear, "It's gonna be alright Arthur okay?"

Arthur closed his eyes as he felt her hot breath against his ear and felt some comfort in her sincere words. He suddenly felt very awkward sitting in her bathtub with the curtain ripped off. 

Iris had an idea and she hoped it would work. She helped Arthur up and had him step out of her shower and quickly put the curtain rod back up with the curtain ripped but still attached and she turned the water on. "Okay I'm gonna go answer the door and just get in the shower and the water should relax you enough to hopefully stop any potential laughter"

Arthur looked at her nervously and nodded his head in response. Iris stepped out, shut the door, adjusted her now messy hair and walked to the door while taking a long deep breath. The knocking was louder now. Her heart was in her throat....

"Who is it?" she called out trying to sound as calm and normal as possible. Iris was so relieved to hear it was not the police but also extremely nervous and apprehensive about even opening the door. She heard the water running and hoped Arthur was okay but didn't want to open the door and invade his privacy especially after after his episodes.

"I'm-I'm coming!" She shouted which was followed by her silently cursing to herself. She took a deep breath and put on a false smile, which she was an expert at, and nervous walked over to the door. Every step she took towards the door her heart rate increased.

"Fuck...this is such a bad fucking time", she thought to herself as she finally approached the door.

She stood in front of the door for a moment feeling frozen with fear but eventually brought her unwillingly hand to undo her lock and then reached down to the rusty doorknob and cringed as she turned it. 

When Iris slowly opened the door she made absolutely sure that she had a smile on her face but not too much of a smile as not to look at all suspicious of something.

"Hi!" she said, her voice cracking. 

It was her sister Rose which was much better than the police and Iris was so lost in her head that she didn't even notice that her sister's 5 year old daughter was with her. Her eyes widened.

"Are you alright, Iris?" Rose asked, staring at her.
"No, no of course not...everything is great" she stammered.
Rose's daughter Ophelia looked up at her coyly but soon smiled at her. Ophelia was a very timid girl and technically speaking is not Rose's daughter, she adopted her a few years ago because her mother was a an addict who couldn't take care of her. She's very shy but a sweet, beautiful little girl. 

Iris was zoning out for a moment but snapped out of it when her sister said, "You said you'd watch her today remember?"

Iris completely forgot and with everything going on that made sense, but she had no idea what was going to do now. If she said she couldn't abruptly it would look very suspicious and on top of that it would be very unfair to her sister and especially to Ophelia. If this less than 24 hours ago she wouldn't have even considered letting her niece be in the same space as Arthur, but that was before she knew who he really was. She felt stuck....

"Oh my God what do I do?"

"Can you still watch her? If not I'm going to have to cancel my appointment" her sister said sounding somewhat irritated by Iris' odd demeanor.

Iris had to think fast. "No, no I'm sorry I just didn't sleep well but of course I'll watch her" 

Iris knelt down in front of Ophelia and smiled warmly at her and said, "Ready to spend some time with your crazy auntie?"

Ophelia smiled timidly and giggled saying "Yes" 

Rose still looked at her sister suspiciously, but trusted her with her with little Ophelia and knew how much it made her happy to spend time with her auntie.

"Okay so I'll be back in a couple of hours or so. She already ate, but she might want a snack, but no sweets" Rose said, looking down at her daughter sternly. 

Iris stodd up and took Ophelia's hand and said, "Okay well I'll see you soon" Rose smiled, hugged Ophelia and left. She took her little hand and brought her inside. 

"I have to go potty" Ophelia said. Iris immediately started to get anxious. She didn't know what to do or say. Arthur didn't even know what was going on and Ophelia isn't a big fan of men unless she knows them well. 

******
Arthur didn't even hear anything that was going because he was trying very hard to just relax. Relaxing was extremely foreign for him so this was a huge challenge especially after everything that has happened this past month. Even sleep wasn't a common occurrence for him.

Arthur let the comforting hot water envelop his aching body and wash away his makeup. He watching mindlessly as the red, blue and white colors swirled around the drain before they were sucked away for good. It felt quite soothing so have the water run through his hair and wash away the remnants of last night.

He had his eyes closed and his head hanging downwards allowing the steaming hot water to gently hit the back of his strained neck and shoulders. His body was beginning to truly relax, but his mind was very busy. He kept thinking of his mother and how he pressed that hospital pillow onto her face and smothered the life out of her. 

It was initially an incredibly powerful rush at first and he felt justified and relieved to end her life. The way he was treated and the she allowed these repulsive men in her life to better him and even her was sickening to him. He even dared to wonder what kind of man he would be if none of those torturous things had ever happened to him.

***********

He took care of his mother day in and day out all the while not knowing the terrifying truth of what had really happened to him when he was only a child. He was so engulfed in rage that he did what he felt he needed to in order to cope. His adrenaline peaks so quickly that it can be disastrous.

Even last night when he was practically smashed by that ambulance while he was in the police car enjoying the beautiful work of art he had created he was knocked out and hurt badly but his adrenaline was so high that he didn't notice it. All he felt was a natural high that he could not even begin to describe. The rush was so volatile that physical pain didn't seem to even register. 

He always felt he was invisible and when he saw all the terrifying beauty he had created he truly felt he was somebody and he was simply being himself for the first time in his life and speaking words that he truly felt from deep within. Words that many feel as well but are too scared to express. 

Even before the crash he was brutally beaten by the police that apprehended him. They tackled him to the floor at the studio, interrupting a perfectly maniacal laugh, and after they kicked him repeatedly in his stomach and his ribs he did feel a lot of that but was so high on the euphoria of what he had just done that he didn't truly feel it until later.

They very likely may have cracked or broke a rib or two, but he didn't want Iris to know that. After being beaten by the police (which was in the same manner as the wicked men kicked him while he was down on the subway) with no pistol to defend himself he had to take the beating. He laughed the entire time and even egged them on, but at one point he remembered getting a boot slammed right into his head and he saw stars and blacked out.

When he came to, the right side of his face was pressed against the seat and he tasted blood. His head was throbbing and when he tried to touch his head he realized he had been handcuffed. He was very groggy and the cops in the front didn't notice he was awake until he slightly laughed incoherently but then started to caugh and gag. They laughed at him but he was too out of it to really notice. 

The police officers saw the state he was in and would even purposely jerk the car around making him feel like he was going to vomit and he suddenly felt he was Arthur Fleck (and also Arthur has always had a sensitive stomach which made him feel even more pathetic) again and not Joker. Just when he felt he was going to empty the nothing that was in his stomach all over his lap he noticed all the insanity flourishing all around him and he began to feel giddy and he was Joker again. 

It wasn't until shortly after his wickedly, devine dance of victory that he started to become hazy and nauseous. When he first woke up on top of that car he almost felt he was going to pass out again or be sick, but he saw all the glorious insanity that belonged to him and it gave him a little strength so that he could enjoy what he had started. He could even hear glorious music play in his head like tear jerking violins orchestrating his triumphant dance.

Finally when he was walking around that's when a the pain seemed to hit him at once and he collapsed in that dark alleyway and that's when he was rescued by the most beautiful angel and her name was Iris....

************

 

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

 

End Chapter 12....

 

"It isn't that hard boy to like you or love you

I'd follow you down, down, down

It's unbelievable 

If you're going crazy just grab me and take me

I'd follow you down, down, down

Anywhere, anywhere...

One for the money 

Two for the show

I love you honey

I'm ready I'm ready to go

How did you get that way

I don't know 

You're screwed and brilliant

And look like a million dollar man

So why is my heart broke..."

 

🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀

Chapter Text

Beautiful Chaos 

Chapter 13: Arthur and the Unblemished

 

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

 

Arthur has his palms pressed against the shower wall behind the shower head and his still facing down. He felt his body suddenly tense up and thought he felt another gut wrenching fit of relentless laughter creeping up on his relaxed state. He shut his eyes tightly and gritted his teeth, but something different happened this time...This time he felt tears sting his tired eyes and then he realized it was not yet another laughing episode coming on it was something else...

He suddenly felt the need to sit down on the shower floor and bring kis skinny knees to his bruised chest, bringing his hands to grasp the the sides if his aching head and that's when it happened. All the pain from his past and his present seemed to suddenly be too heavy and he crumbled under the pressure and he was actually crying...

Arthur put his hand over his mouth as he sobbed hoping Iris would not hear him. When he was taking his clothes off he saw how badly bruised up he was all over his ribs and chest and it hurt a lot worse than he let on. It wasn't even all the accident. He was also pinned down not too long after killing Murray and brutally beaten, but at the time his adrenalin was so sky high that he didn't even care or notice much. 

The hot water was at least soothing and even though he was crying heavily it felt good in some ways. It was something that he held in for too long and even though he was furious with his insane mother he still felt some remorse underneath his Joker side. 

He finally had stopped crying and unsteadily got up and was now looking to see if she had some kind of shampoo or something to wash his hair and soap to clean his emaciated body. He saw she had shampoo and conditioner that was a lavender scent and it made him smile without even realizing because he remembered the smell of her ravishing long hair. 

It felt wonderful to run his fingers through his shampooed hair and even though his head had been banged up it was mostly near his forehead so it did not really hurt.hair and wash most of the green out. Once he was done rinsing he put some conditioner in too even though normally he didn't, but he secretly hoped Iris would notice his hair being more sleek and soft. 

He saw also that she had some floral scented body wash and he put a dab in his hand and began to lather it up in his hands. He started washing his shoulders and made his way down to his midriff but winced in pain and had to be extremely gentle with himself which was something in many other ways he never would do. 

Suddenly Athur snapped out of his daydream when he heard some noise outside of the bathroom and he had nearly forgotten that Iris has gone to see who was knocking incessantly at her door. He finished washing himself and shut the water off, immediately holding still trying to see if he could figure out what the source of the noise was. 

He quietly stepped out of her shower but soon came to realization that he did now have a towel or any clean clothes to put on. Iris didn't even have a towel hung up anywhere.

"Shit", he cursed under his breath. It sounded like someone was coming to the door and he was panicking, but furrowed his brow in puzzlement when his alert ears heard what sounded almost like a child. 

"What the fuck?" he murmured. He nearly jumped out of his skin when suddenly the door started to open and he knew now that it was definitely a child indeed. He stumbled back into the shower but the door was already all the way opening so he had to think fast so he grabbed part of the curtain and used it cover his exposed privates.

Iris was cursing and calling out to this little kid but clearly her efforts went to naught. Iris shut her eyes tightly and squeezed the bridge of her nose when she heard her niece scream at the top of her lungs. 

Arthur was in a panic and close the curtain all the way and then slipped and fell I'm the tub and his lower back hit the faucet. He stifled a moan and just stayed curled up in the corner not knowing what else to do in this moment of panic and painful awkwardness.

"Auntie Iris, there's a strange man in your shower!" Ophelia shrieked, now starting to cry. Iris picked her up and held her trying to calm her down.

"No, no it's okay Ophelia he's my friend Arhur. He's a nice man okay?" Iris said in a gentle soothing voice.

Arthur heard the way she spoke to the little girl and the left corner if his mouth curved and he noticed that that's the same sweet manner she would speak to him. So kind, so tranquil.

After holding her hysterical niece for a few more minutes her sobbing was beginning to subside and Iris delicately put her back down. Iris kissed her forehead and told her to go I to the bedroom and close the door for a little bit.

"Oh my God Arthur I'm so so sorry" she exclaimed as she came into the bathroom. She kept her back turned to give him some privacy. Arthur grunted as he stood up and said meekly, "It's okay Iris...but who is she?"

Iris sighed heavy and said, "She's my niece, Ophelia and I forgot I was supposed to watch her today. Today of all days for fucks sake"

Arthur stood naked in her shower awkwardly for a bit before he finally asked softly, "Can I have a towel please?" 

Iris felt so bad not only for him for putting both of them through this uncomfortable dilemma. She realized she had not answered poor Arthur and said, "Of course you can. God I'm so sorry" 

She went to go grab a towel and she suddenly felt bashful about coming into the bathroom knowing he was totally naked standing in her shower even though he was hidden behind her curtain and, of course, there was another animalistic and passionate part of her that wished that she was in there naked with him.

Iris entered the bathroom, turned her head in the opposite direction of her shower and said, "Here you go" 

She heard him slightly open the curtain and she could only look in his opposite direction for so long before she quickly turned her eager head to face him. She looked at him with doe eyes and a flushed face as he coyly peered his head out from behind her curtain. She felt her entire body freeze and all she could do was try and breath.

Arthur had a very hard time making eye contact with her as she stared at him, but finally he glanced at her and gifted her one of the sweetest smiles she had ever seen. His gorgeous, regal hair was wet and dripping down onto his neck and then slid down to his collar bone. There was still some green in it, but to her it mixed beautifully with his natural brown color. 

Arthur felt he was ugly and had a repulsive body and when Iris first ever saw him she did think he had really nice hair and was fairly handsome in his own way, but it wasn't until she spent time with him last night and this afternoon with him and feeling his raw emotion intertwine beautifully with hers that her eyes now saw much more than just the external, but the beauty that came from his heart pumping waves of relatable pain that equated hers in his own unique way. It was kismet...and his internal beauty opened her eyes to the beauty of him as a whole. She was terrified, but she was absolutely in love with this man...

Arthur saw she was staring and was beginning to feel rather foolish standing naked hiding behind a shower curtain waiting for a towel to that he could come out. "What?" he asked, trying not to seem so uncomfortable so that she didn't think his discomfort was caused by her.

Iris walked closer to him and handed him the towel, laughed at herself and said, "I'm very sorry I know I was staring, but it's so interesting to me to have seen you on the television last night and seeing you now standing in my shower looking so fucking adorable" she stammered.

Arthur smiled and looked down while saying, "I really don't think you would ever want to see me in the state I was in last night, but I would never act that way towards you...never" 

Iris locked eyes with him and her heart was pumping faster again, but for two reasons, one being that she was afraid to be in love with anyone because she feared there being pain and the other being that even though he was a sweet, kind man right now he clearly has a short fuse to say the least. Even though she knew it was wrong, but even last night when she saw him on The Murray Franklin show and he walked out on stage and was dressed ridiculously and had clown makeup on she loved the way he danced about, moved with such grace and confidence. He was silly and even before she knew anything about him she couldn't help but applaud when he admitted to killing those awful Wallstreet men on the subway.

If there was one thing she loved most of all of the way he spoke so smoothly on the Murray Franklin show even making murder sound humorous and yet poetic at the same time. She could still hear clearly in her overly active mind the exact way Joker responded to Murray when he asked the predictable, seemingly, moral question of whether or not he thought killing them was funny and Arthur/Joker looked directly at him and looked him dead in the eyes and answered him "I do...and I'm tired of pretending it's not"

Iris was floored and felt a deep sense of pleasure hearing him speak the truth even if it was frightening to most and she found herself wishing she was only that bold to not walk through life pretending. 

She also remembered how she was fascinated with his body language and impressed by the way he smoothly spoke despite being put on the show to be made fun of. Iris has been bullied her entire life but only ever fantasized about brutally killing the people that did, but Arthur Fleck didn't care what anyone thought anymore and she thought that was a beautiful thing because she knows how caged that can make someone feel. 

When Joker finally stopped being insidiously goofy he finally told this silly television host and all of the massive amounts of people that watched that mindless show how he truly felt. He broke down and the raw pain and years of pent up burning rage were finally released from the little cage they had been trapped inside for so long.

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End Chapter 13

"You are not alone
I am here with you
Even when you're scared
I'll never leave you
Standing in a storm

Making it insane
Once again, I will try
To enchain you
But you open your eyes to the sky
And whisper

 

That you are so lonely
You are so alone
You're so alone
You're so lonely, so lonely

 

So I'm coloring my face
While I am here with you
Imagining the landscape of your sorrow
Is it yellow or blue?

 

Coloring the sky, and the trees
And the clouds, and the moonlight
I'd colored your heart
If you didn't I did

 

You're so alone
You're so lonely, so lonely

And I wish you could just find home
Mmm...mmm..."

 

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Chapter Text

Beautiful Chaos 

 

Chapter 14: The Funny Man

 

When Joker finally stopped being insidiously goofy he finally told this silly television host and all of the massive amounts of people that watched that mindless show how he truly felt. He broke down and the raw pain and years of pent up burning rage were finally released from the little cage they had been trapped inside for so long. There was certainly immense and frightening anger in his voice, but she also very clearly heard his voice break as he shouted at this empty headed man about how he felt inside and he was sick and tired of being invisible and being written off as "crazy" as a lazy and simple cop out for "normal" people, living in their tiny little snow globe that they called a life, to push mentally ill people to the side like trash. Iris was one of those people too and she fucking understood.

She understood every word that escaped from his mouth like fire from a misunderstood dragon that was tired of being poked and prodded by a lowly knight. He grew tired of not having a voice and so he stopped pretending that everything was fine in the little snow globe because it wasn't fine anymore and it, in fact, never was to begin with. 

The truth was that he and other people like him that had felt like their mouths had sewn shut longed eventually be free of those threads and take action. In order to fit the mold they finally stopped pretending that they didn't see they were surrounded by glass that blocked them from being truly free and the time had at last came to fight back at the society that had clipped their wings years ago. All they needed was a little push and He gave it to them.

What she did remember very very well was that as he was screaming at this man she heard the pure unadulterated agony in his voice accompanied by rage that could start an enormous forest fire. She remembered smiling as she felt his same feelings within her heart and watched as he didn't hold back and it made her wish she knew him and didn't care how unusual and disturbing it sounded.

Iris wished she could sit ar a bar and just talk to him for hours and now she laughs to herself thinking the irony of of it all. Now she is actually getting to know this man and even though it was certainly not sitting at a bar laughing over expensive drinks, it was even better....

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Arthur reached his skinny arm out and took the towel from Iris who was smiling at him blushing and he thought she looked absolutely incredible. He wrapped the towel and hesitantly stepped out of the shower and he then saw her smile drop and he didn't understand why at first until she saw her eyes looking at the state of his upper body with sympathy gleaming in her eyes.

Arthur looked away and said, "I'm fine don't worry"

"Oh Arthur you're not fine. Look at your poor body Jesus" Iris said, trying to keep her voice low so that Ophelia wouldn't hear, but it didn't matter because she was already opening the bedroom door.

"Ophelia I told you to wait in the room" Iris said as she looked down at her, but she paid her no mind because her eyes were fixated on the slender stranger standing in her Auntie's bathroom.

To Iris' surprise Ophelia didn't seem to so scared of him anymore and she even said to him, "You're the man on the TV" 

Iris' eyes widened as she said this and looked over at Arthur who was actually laughing softly at what Ophelia said, but he could tell Iris didn't like it.

She crouched down in front of Ophelia and said to her, "You're mommy let you watch that?"

Ophelia didn't seem to understand so she pointed directly at Arthur and said, " Yeah you're the funny man on stage laughing" 

Arthur was really laughing now and he was relieved that that was all she meant. What Arthur didn't know was that Iris had only caught the show right around when Joker danced out from the behind the curtains so she didn't even see Arthur's embarrassing little act. He was very relieved truth be told. 

Iris still didn't understand what her niece was talking about so Arthur chimed in. "The reason I was even on the show was because they got ahold of a recording of me attempting to do stand up comedy at a club and it was horrible because I was so nervous, so basically I got put on the show because they all thought I was, well, a Joker" 

Iris looked at him for a moment looking perplexed and said, "Oh...I had no idea. That's really fucking mean" Arthur smiled as he heard the anger in her voice that he could only guess was her feeling protective over him. 

Ophelia stared at him with two of her fingers in her mouth as if she was trying to read him in some way and said to him, "Why do you have so many ouchies?" 

Iris didn't even give Arhur a chance to respond and quickly said, Oh sweetheart that's because he was in an accident" 

Ophelia looked at Iris and then back at Arthur and said sweetly, "Is he okay Auntie?" Iris knelt down again and picked her up. She still stared at Arthur and he didn't want to look back because he did not want to frighten her or make her uncomfortable in any way, but the silence was soon broken by her saying, "Maybe you should make his booboos better like the way you do with mine"

"How do you mean sweety?" Iris asked as she glanced at Arthur for a moment and felt her heart warm when she saw he was softly smiling back at her. Ophelia looked at Iris and said, "You like Auntie Iris, you have to kiss his booboos" 

Arthur was genuinely laughing and Iris was blushing. She put Ophelia down and told her to go back into her room to give Arthur some privacy and she reluctantly did what she asked. 

Iris walked over to the bathroom and couldn't help but smile ear to ear when she saw Arthur doing the same. "Sorry about that. She usually never takes to strangers" 

Arthur looked down bashfully thinkng about little Ophelia's comment and then shot his breathtaking emerald eyes directly at Iris with a burning confidence in his gaze that he never processed up until their very moment. He wanted to desperately to feel her warm body against his again and when her eyes locked with his again he knew, despite his deep seeded insecurities, that she wanted that same thing.

Iris felt she was being pulled to him as if her were magnetic. She moved in close to him, never averting her gaze, and put her hand on his cheek and then gently moved her hands down to his bruised ribs. He was not sure what she was doing, but she bent down and slowly brought her velvet soft lips to his ribs and kissed his bruises which left crimson lip prints all over his torso. Arthur was on fire. 

While she was still kissing his body tenderly he brought both his hands down and placed his palms on the sides of her flustered face and slowly she stood up to meet his eager face and she thought they were going to kiss but instead he he wrapped his arms around her and held her.
She closed her eyes feeling the warm comfort of his body pressed against hers and they were beautifully wrapped in a loving embrace that made her almost melt in his arms.

"You're so amazing" Athur whispered passionately in her ear, his hot breath giving her goosebumps. "Thank you for being so kind" 

Iris heard his voice break as he spoke and she looked into his eyes and saw that he was looking down attempting to mask his emotions. She put her fingers under his chin and lifted his face for his eyes to meet hers. She could see there were tears in his eyes and she was breathing heavy feeling all his pain from his past and present simply from looking into his incredible eyes. She wanted to speak, but could not find any words so she kissed him softly and said, "You don't have to thank me Arthur Fleck.

Iris knew she needed to go to her room to tend to Ophelia so she reluctantly let go of him and looked him up and down and said, "Oh Arthur...you're so thin. You should eat more" 

"My mother used to always tell me that", he laughed. 

"You want something?" She asked. Arthur simply shook his head, but when he saw the look on her face he sighed and said, "Sure maybe later"

Iris smiled at his response and kissed his forehead and went to her room. Arthur shut the door and found himself unable to remove the smile from his face. He started to laugh softly but stopped when he felt the awful pain in his ribs. He was truly in a lot of pain but didn't want to worry her. 


"She's incredible"

 

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When Iris came into her room she saw that Ophelia was petting her cat Tilly and when she saw her auntie she smiled and said to her, "Auntie Iris I really really need to go potty still. Is the funny man finished?" 

Iris had forgotten that Ophelia had asked to use the bathroom a while ago and she also suddenly came to the realization that Arthur didn't have any other clothing with him other than his blood stained burgundy suit. She didn't have anything that would fit him, but then she remembered she had a warm robe that would probably fit him because he has such a small frame. She worried he could be cold and also she obviously didn't have any underwear for him.

"I'm gonna go check okay sweety?" Iris said as she dashed to the bathroom door and knocked softly.

Arthur opened it and smiled, but she could see behind that smile and knew something must be wrong. She was an expert at the masquerade of false smiles. Arthur smiled weakly at her but she could see he was trembling. 

Iris put her hand on his pale cheek and said, "Hey, are you feeling ok?" 

Arthur nodded and she knew something was wrong but she also knew Ophelia desperately needed to use the bathroom so she would deal with Arthur's false smile in a moment. 

"I know you don't have any other clothes but I have a robe that would fit you, but unfortunately that's all I have" she said as her eyes examined his face as if he were a rare painting in a fancy museum. She adored every line, every sharp angle and most of all she cherished his beautifully tragic eyes and how they sparkled like diamonds. Most of all she loved how his eyes seemed to put an intoxicating spell on her lonely soul. She thought he was unbelievable....

"That would be fine, Iris....thank you for everything", he responded, his voice hoarse.

Iris walked with Arthur to her bedroom which made her feel an amorous sensation all throughout her body. It was electric and even seeing him near her bed made her heart race. 

Iris took Ophelia to the bathroom then returned to Arthur who standing by her bed with his head facing downwards with his eyes looking to the side like a shy school boy in the locker room. She could tell he was cold too.

"Here, this robe should fit and it's very warm and I have blankets too okay?" She said as she grabbed the robe from her closet and handed it to him. "I'll give you some privacy" she said, awkwardly walking out of the room.

When she shut the door Arthur reluctantly removed the towel from his boney waist, hoping no one would come in. He put the robe on and although it was warm and comfortable he really wished he had underwear because it would be awkward for him to sit down. He didn't want his naughty bits to be exposed.

Since Iris had left the room he really just wanted to get in her bed and sleep so that he didn't have to deal with the gnawing pain in his ribs and chest. His head still hurt but once the blood was washed away he saw it wasn't really so bad. 

Arthur couldn't help but notice how lovely and quaint her room was. Her cream colored dresser had beautiful glass figurines of birds and she had a Van Gogh painting hanging above her bed and he smirked when he saw it was his painting titled "Irises" which he also knew Van Gogh painted while he was institutionalized. She also had an old record player that looked as if it easily could be from the 40's and several records next to it mostly of female jazz singers, but the records she had most of all were of French singer Edith Piaf.

Tilly jumped on the bed and started rubbing her soft cheeks against his elbow and he pet her on the head and said, "Well, hi there" Tilly responded by purring heavily and sitting on his lap. 

As Arthur's curious eyes looked around her room he looked on her night stand and saw a pair of binoculars, but what caught his attention the very most was an urn that stood out right underneath the warm light of her stained glass tiffany lamp. It had a name engraved on the front of it that said Marcel. Next to it was a framed picture of a young man, probably in his late 20's who had long dark hair and intense dark brown eyes. As he dared to reach for the picture he immediately stopped when her heard a soft knock at the door. Tilly hopped off his lap and went over to the door.

Arthur sat on the bed and saw that she had a folded blanket at the foot of her bed and grabbed it and draped it over his lap to make sure his nether regions were completely covered. "You can come in"

When she opened the door he saw that Ophelia was staring at him with her fingers in her little mouth. Iris thought she was going to have to coax her into the room, but she wa shocked when she saw her walk right over to Arthur and say, "Are you a sad funny man?" 

Arthur looked at her with gentle, virescent eyes, smiled amiably at her and said, "I used to be" 

After those vague yet meaningful words were uttered Iris felt she wanted to melt into his arms. She didn't believe in God but she still couldn't help but think he was a gift, but...some gifts are not free...Nothing good in life comes without a price...

 

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"Oh my my my, what you do to me
Like lightning when I'm swimming in the sea
From the very first time we loved
From the very first time we touched
Walking on wires and power lines
When you put your body on top of mine
Everytime that you lift me up
To the heaven and stars above

O lord of mercy
I'm begging you, please
I'm feelin' drained
I need love
You charge me up
Like electricity
Jumpstart my heart
With your love"

 

🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀

 

 

"When you hold me in your arms
Burns like fire and electricity
When you're close I feel the sparks
Takes me higher to infinity"....

 

End Chapter 14

 

Stay tuned!!

 

 

Chapter Text

Beautiful Chaos 🖤

 

Chapter 15: The Heart of a Child 

 

Iris saw him shoot her a glance as he said those words and it made her heart swell. Ophelia gestured for him to lift her onto the bed and even though he wanted to he looked at Iris first as if to ask permission. She nodded approvingly at her.

"He's so fucking cute...God help me" She said to herself almost as if her brain was scolding her ever so eager heart. 

Arthur put his hands under this sweet child's arms and lifted her onto the bed. She stared at him again and he found himself wanting to be his silly self and try and make her smile or laugh even, but his mind flashed to that cross woman on the bus that day that yelled at him for making her son laugh and he stopped himself. He didn't want to frighten her even though that would never be his intention, but he also recalled that the little boy on the bus did laugh and enjoy his funny faces, it was his mother rather that was disturbed by it.

Ophelia touched the top of Arthur's skinny hand and said, "You're so cold and your nails are all gone" 

Iris giggled but saw that Arthur looked a little embarrassed and said, "Don't be rude now"

Arthur smiled warmly at Ophelia and even leaned closer to her and said, "I'm okay"

Iris did notice that Arthur's nails were bitten down almost completely and it made her sad. She noticed that Ophelia was actually smiling back at him and it warmed her soul. 

"Why do you bounce your leg like that?" Ophelia asked, noticing that Athur was bouncing his leg nervously. Arthur didn't even realize he was doing it (he usually didn't) until she pointed it out. 

Iris walked over to the bed and sat down next to Opelia and said, "Ophelia stop asking so many questions" 

Arthur saw Ophelia look at Iris innocently and then back at Arhur who smiled and stuck his tongue out at her and she giggled gleefully. She stood up on the bed and grabbed one of Iris' other blankets, stood behind Arthur and draped the blanket around his shoulders and said, There, now you can be warm, Funny man" 

Arthur smiled ear to ear at her, patted her on the head and said, "Well, thank you Ophelia"

Iris thought this very moment was one the sweetest things to ever take place in her complicated life. Ophelia almost never is talkative with strangers especially men. She couldn't believe it.

Arthur held the blanket tightly around himself. He was very cold which unfortunately made his pain worse. He tried to hide the agonizing look on his face when he tried scoot back on the bed, but Iris saw right through that. She was so worried.

Iris had no way of knowing the extent of his injuries and she was terrified that he may need medical attention or he would suffer greatly or worse. The second she thought of the worse case scenario her eyes became vacant and distant. She was lost in her head and without realizing it she kept glancing at the urn on her nightstand and then back to Arthur. He saw her looking lost so he put his hand on her lap and said sweetly, "Iris, I'm gonna be okay"

When she snapped back into reality and saw him looking at her earnestly and the words he said registered in her mess of a mind she slightly smiled. Arthur's smile faded when he saw that she had tears clinging to the bottom of her eyes that hoped she could conceal. He now knew that Marcel must have been a past lover, but he had no idea what happened to him and even though he wanted to ask he knew now was not the right time especially not with the child around.

Arthur gazed at Iris, smiled so tenderly at her bewildered face and said, "Don't be sad, beautiful" 

When Arthur uttered those words with those gorgeous, green penetrating eyes she smiled and immediately felt better. Ophelia saw the way Iris and Arthur were looking at eachother and said, "Is he your boyfriend?"

Iris felt her face flush instantly and giggled. When she saw Athur he wasn't laughing or looking uncomfortable at all. His eyes were fixed on hers as if to say that he would not be apposed to the idea. She was speechless and thought her heart was going to burst. She wanted to grab his face and taste his him in her mouth, but instead bashfully looked away.

Ophelia took Arthur's hand and said, "You look sad. Do you need a nap?" 

Iris and Arthur both laughed almost in unison. Arthur honestly was not opposed to the idea. He was still very tired. Iris stopped laughing when she saw Arthur suddenly stop and an agonizing yet quiet moan interrupted his genuine laughter.

It was starting to be far too much of a challenge for him to act as if he was alright and he laid back on her pillows with both his hands over his face, breathing very heavily and almost crying from the agony. What made it worse is that the pain made him breath heavier and also made him feel he was going to crumble and just start crying, but both these things unfortunately increased his pain. 

Ophelia touched Arthur's ankle, looked at Iris with a sad face and said, "Is the funny man sick auntie Iris?" 

Iris' heart almost fell apart when she saw Ophelia look so saddened by Arthur's unfortunate state and of course seeing the very man that had been capturing her heart suffering so made her hurt even more. 

"Yes, Ophelia but don't worry he will be okay, but in the mean time let's go in the other room for little while to let him rest" Iris said to Ophelia who looked disappointed. She reluctantly took Iris' hand and walked with her away from "The Funny man" but that didn't stop her from looking back over her should and running away from Iris to go back into the room with him. Iris gave up and went to go use the bathroom, but told Ophelia that after she was done she had to leave him alone.

Even though Arthur was in a lot of pain he still managed a smile for this sweet child and waved to her, but right after he went back to laying down and curled into himself.

This past day or so has taken it's  toll on Arthur's frail, skinny body and he was feeling every bit of it. Even before he got to the studio he had been hit by a car and slammed onto the ground. He almost didn't know if he was going to be able to get up, but he was on a mission and nothing and no one was going to stop him. That's being said, he was truly feeling it as if there was God that was punishing him for his sinful acts.

Arthur was also getting a headache and headaches he's been getting since the car crash had also been making him nauseous, so he closed his eyes and squeezed the bridge of his nose trying to do anything just to feel a little better. His eyes opened suddenly when he heard Ophelia's innocent, little voice saying, "I hope you feel better Funny Man" Arthur couldn't even sit up so he just looked at her and said weakly, "Thank you very much Ophelia" 

She smiled at him and started to play with his hair, which for a 5 year old felt more like pulling and tangling, but he didn't mind it. She padded his head as if he were a kitten and said, "Take a nap Funny Man, it could maybe help" Arthur smiled as his eyes began to close and said, "I just might do that"

Ophelia was staring at him as he tried to rest, but only let him rest for a few seconds before she poked his cheek. Arthur opened his tired eyes, smiled again for her, yawned and said, "Yes, Ophelia?"

She leaned into his ear and whispered, "I wanna tell you a secret Funny Man okay?" Arthur was pretty much half asleep so he just looked at her, giving her the best attention he could give her and said, "Of course you can, sweetie" 

She giggled and whispered, "When my mommy told me to go to bed and I came out of my room while they were still watching that boring show they like that I saw you on my mommy yelled at me and told me not look at the TV" 

As soon as Ophelia said that, Arthur's eyes shot open. She then continued, "She was tellin me something scary was on the TV and picked me up and took me back to my room, but my mommy doesn't know that I saw that scary clown on TV, but he was just dancin' and grabbed the tv screen and he was funny like you!"

Arthur looked at her trying not to seem nervous and smiled at her saying, "Yeah...he was a crazy clown, but your mom just wanted to keep you safe"

Ophelia looked at him innocently and asked, "Is that what your mommy did for you, Funny Man?" 

Arthur didn't know what to say at first, but then simply gave her a loving smile and said, "Of course..."

Ophelia stared at him as if she knew something he didn't, but then gave him a peck on the cheek and said, "Don't be sad, Funny Man" 

Iris had been in the bathroom and came into her room seeing Ophelia playing with strands of poor, exhausted Arthur's hair. Iris couldn't help but laugh a little as she got closer to them. She looked at how much Ophelia seemed to be enjoying herself and Arthur was also enjoying her company even though he wasn't feeling well. 

"Auntie Iris can you make him smile?" 

"Let him rest now, honey" Iris said as she walked over and crouched down by Ophelia

Arthur looked at Iris and said, "Iris doesn't have to try and make me smile"

Iris blushed and said coyly, "Thank you, Arthur" 

Arthur wanted so badly to just feel better so that, if anything, he wasn't such a burden to her considering the already busy life she has. Arthur squeezed his eyes shut as his headache for worse and his stomach seemed to do a backflip. Ophelia petted his head, seeing he wasn't feeling well, and said, "Is your tummy upset? Cuz that's the same face Tilly makes before she throws up"

Arthur managed a smile and shook his head. The mere mention of throwing up made him feel worse, but he didn't want Ophelia to know that. "No...I'm f-fine" he croaked, even though he really wasn't. 

Iris saw how sick he looked and thought it best to take Opelia into the living room and have her take a nap and let him be. Arthur kept experiencing this awful vertigo on and off and it was miserable. 

Arthur felt he should probably get to the bathroom, but wasn't sure if he would make it in time. Iris took Ophelia's hand and insisted she come with her, but she protested and Arthur looked like he was about to puke so she thought she should go grab her trash bin for him, but Ophelia had already gone to drag it ove to him. Iris was definitely annoyed, but thought it was incredibly sweet as well. 

Arthur kept telling Ophelia he was fine, but he most certainly wasn't and was actually grateful she brought the bin over to him. "Are you gonna throw up, Funny Man?" 

Arthur shook his head, but knew it was coming. Iris grabbed Ophelia and said, "Ophelia leave him alone now and let's go" 

Arthur tried to hold it until they left the room, but he simply could not. He hung his head over the trashcan and started to drool into it as he felt that sour taste in his stomach come up. Ophelia got on the bed behind Arthur, started rubbing his back and said, "Want to me to hold your hair back?" 

Iris felt so bad for him and wished Ophelia would leave him be. "For God's sake Ophelia leave this poor man alone"

Arthur was violently dry heaving but not much was coming up because he had nothing in his stomach, but he still felt so sick. Ophelia held some of his back and said, "It's gonna be okay" 

Iris felt so bad for Arthur and also couldn't believe that the same man she saw on television last night was the same man she saw before her who was in her bathrobe vomiting into her garbage can. She was shocked at how sweet and gentle he was..at least from what she has seen so far...

Eventually bile came up and after retching a few more times he laid back onto his side feeling exhausted. His eyes were closed and he was trying to catch his breath. He was so embarrassed and could not believe this woman was helping him.

Ophelia tried to climb onto the bed to lay with him, but when she was trying to scoot in close to him she accidentally elbowed his ribs making him cringe. Arthur patted her on the head and said, "Thank you" 

Ophelia took his hand and said, "Maybe you can be like my pretend daddy cuz I don't have one"

Arthur felt suddenly very emotional hearing her say those words and looked at her and said, "I don't have one either" 

Ophelia hugged him and then Iris was finally able to coax her into coming to her. Arthur needed his rest and Iris was growing increasingly worried about him as the day went on. She wanted him to be alright, or rather, she needed him to.

Arthur closed his eyes and tried to rest and Iris took Ophelia into the other room.

Iris had Ophelia sit on the couch and she put the television on for her. Ophelia wasn't very interested in watching TV but knew she didn't have much of a choice. She kept asking Iris over and over of Arthur was okay and also if she could go back in the room with him. She sounded so sad and disappointed when Iris kept having to say no, but she thought it was best.

Eventually Ophelia was falling asleep and she gazed up at Iris who had her head on her lap and said softly, "I hope The Funny Man stays here forever Auntie Iris..."

Iris kissed her forehead and said, "I hope so too, baby...God, I hope so..."

 

End Chapter 15

 

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

 

🥀

Chapter Text

Beautiful Chaos 

Chapter 16: Those 3 not so Little Words 

 

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After Iris made sure Ophelia was asleep she gently took her off her lap and rested it on a pillow so that she could get up. Iris went into her bathroom and was frantically searching in her medicine cabinet for something anything that could possibly help him and just when she was getting frustrated and about to give up she saw she still had some weed stashed away from about 2 weeks ago when she had her sister over. Iris and her sister liked to smoke weed together regularly and maybe have a free drinks, Iris had been so busy with work that she hadn't even had the time to think about it. She was, in fact, very surprised that this whole ordeal since last night has not made it cross her mind at all, if anything she needed it more than him. 

Iris had it in an empty prescription pill bottle for psych meds she never refilled like she was "supposed" to, but strangely enough she found that the herb inside this pill bottle was much more effective than mind fogging medications. As she held this sweet smelling pill bottle in her hand her mind plunged into a fairly recent memory of her seeing her psychiatrist...

*********

It was about 2 months ago and Iris was trudging her way to her psychiatrist's office reluctantly from the bus stop. Something that her sweet Arthur did not know about her was that since she was about 15 she found that carving up her arms helped to alleviate an immense amount of stress, deep sadness and buring inner rage. This behavior continued consistently for years and even though now at the age of 23 she has for the most part stopped, but her arms were badly scarred from all the years of damage.

Since it was autumn in Gotham City the weather was cold so concealing it from people, including Arthur, was not difficult. She has been to therapy on and off for years, but pills always seemed to either do nothing or rip away emotions all together and even though she didn't want to be sad all the time at least it was a feeling. Iris knew she had a lot of problems, but she is also a very passionate and creative woman with a huge heart and she has no desire to be a robot.

Iris was going to this appointment, but she honestly didn't even know why anymore. She forces herself to go even though deep deep down she doesn't think it helps. She talks to these doctors but they do not ever really hear her and after she spills her guts to them all they do is jot things down on a prescription pad and send her on her way. She wanted to scream inside. She hated it so much and the very worst part of it was that it was as if she were nothing but a name on a long list of suffering individuals that had to be checked off so they can hurry and move onto the next one. She was just another body nothing more...

As Iris walked into the elevator to get to another tedious and mundane appointment she remembered feeling as though she was simply on autopilot and didn't even know why she was on this elevator to begin with. She could almost swear she had shackles on that were being relentlessly pulled by some rediculous made up concept that she needed to be normal in order to be "happy". That was another thing...the pressure to be happy all the time was enough to make her fragile sanity snap under it's unnecessary weight. 

When she sat down in front of psychiatrist she felt she wasn't even truly there and her mind was somewhere else entirely. Everything her robotic doctor said sounded like white noise and she almost didn't even realize she was responding because she had gotten so used to giving the same basic answers every time. It was like she had been reading the same script over and over again for months. 

When she walked out of her meaningless appointment with 6 different prescription slips in her hand she remembered looking down at the slips of paper and had a realization. "I don't want to be sad all the time, but I still need to be who I am. I am not a defective machine...I am a human being" 

When those words raced through her mind she stared at the slips and squeezed them tightly in her hand and when she get off the elevator and walked outside, she lit a cigarette, angrily ripped up those dreadful slips of paper and let the wind take them. She never went back and she didn't care...

*******

Iris wasn't sure if Arthur getting stoned off his ass would even be a good idea or if he's ever even been stoned in his entire life. She also worried about it making him caugh which would make him hurt even more. She didn't have anything that would help much that she could think of and if anything it would relax him, so she figured even if he was opposed to the idea she could at least smoke a joint or two herself, but then she stopped. She wanted to get stoned, but it would most likely harm him more simply because he would caugh and probably a lot. She was becoming desperate.

Judging from how much pain he was in he may have some broken ribs. She needed to help him some how even if it was just to get him to relax a little. She glanced hopelessly into her nearly bare medicine cabinet and sighed. One of her prescription pill bottles fell and she went to pick it up and when she looked back at the shelf to put it back she saw that behind was an old bottle of prescription sedatives that her deceased boyfriend had left here a good while ago.

Her late boyfriend was an addict, but also had a very difficult time sleeping and had horrendous night terrors, but these pills always seemed to do the trick. She grabbed the bottle and stared at it for a moment anxiously and was now worrying about the possibility of the pills making him sick or super fucked up and then it would be babysitting all over again.

Although she was reluctant, she heard Arhtur groan horribly from her bedroom and stopped getting lost in her head and snatched it.

She looked at the label and spoke what it said inside her mind "Methaqualone" 

When she stepped out of the bathroom she let out a huge sigh of relief when she saw that Ophelia was still asleep. Iris got her an extra blanket and walked away slowly, praying that she wouldn't wake up and then made it to her bedroom door and went inside. She was saddened to see that Arthur was curled up on her bed with the blankets on him and his eyes were squeezed shut.

Iris softly sat down on the bed and put her hand on his hip and said, "Arthur, how are you feeling?" She saw that he was struggling to even answer her so she sat down on the bed with him and laid next to him. 

Arthur opened his eyes and saw her laying next to him and he smiled weakly and said, "I-I just wish I could s-sleep...it hurts pretty bad and my fucking head still hurts" Even as he spoke he still managed to muster a feeble smile just for her. 

Iris put her hand on his head and ran her fingers through his thick, faded green hair and leaned in to press her caring lips against his forehead. "Arthur..." she murmured.

"Yes?" he breathed, still holding a slight smile for her. 

Iris took out the prescription pain pill bottle and said, "Look, I don't have anything that would do much for your pain, but these will help you to relax" 

Arthur squinted at the bottle and said, " Wha-what are they?"

Iris took one out and said, "Don't worry you will be okay Arthur. This will help to calm down and hopefully sleep for a while" 

Arthur didn't know much about drugs, but he was in pain and was willing to take anything that might help in the slightest so he stared at the pill for a second and said, "If it will help I'll take it...anything that will help"

Iris had a glass of water by her bed so she picked it up, handed him the pill and he swallowed it down with the water. "It's called a quaalude and it's 600 mg and it will definitely relax you" 

Arthur handed Iris the glass of water back and curled up and tried to close his eyes for a few minutes. "I'm sorry", he breathed. 

Iris moved closer to him and kissed his cheek and whispered softly in his ear, "You have nothing be sorry about" 

Iris also knew he was in pain so she went and got some more ibuprofen for his head and his ribs. She desperately needed a cigarette but was not able to leave at this moment with the difficult situation she was in. She was going to smoke a joint, but decided against it for now. When she went to her kitchen she very relieved to see that Ophelia was still asleep and she hoped she would stay that way until her sister came to pick her up. Speaking of which, Iris looked at the time and it had almost been 2 hours already and now it was dawning on her that Ophelia might say something about Arthur especially about how she saw him on the television and then saw him in her Auntie's apartment.

Ophelia is 5 so Iris hoped she could just say that it was a male friend of hers that she had over, if anything her sister might applaud her for finally having sex after nearly 2 years of none. The very idea of making love to Arthur instantly made her quiver and she wished he was inside her right at this moment, but the poor man was not feeling well at all. She truly hoped that he would be okay otherwise she would have to figure something out to help him with his injuries but she hoped she wouldn't have to. 

Iris heard a knock at the door and she hoped to fucking God that it was just her sister. She dashed to the door and anxiously peeked through the little peep hole in her door. She saw it was, in fact, her sister and felt an enormous relief. She opened the door with a smile that she hoped appeared real and not nervously forced. 

Her sister looked at her and said, "I know that smile...Do you have a gentleman over?" Rose grinned at Iris and winked at her.

Rose had an extremely deep trust with her sister so she wasn't very worried. Iris blushed and began to awkwardly giggle. "Yeah, you caught me, sissy." 

Rose came in and saw Ophelia sleeping on the couch. She was glad to see she was taking a nap because a lot of times that was a difficult task for Rose. "So...what's his name? Can I meet him?" Rose asked eagerly.

Iris felt stuck for a moment and couldn't find words. She almost just wanted to blurt out, "His name is Arthur he shot and killed Murray Franklin last night on live TV....and I love him" but of course she did not say those words out loud so instead she laughed and said, "His name is A-Anthony, yeah and right now he's asleep so maybe you can meet him another time because he's very tired. 

Rose giggled and said, "You wore him out didn't you?" 

"I fucking wish"

Iris looked down, put her hand on the back of her head, laughed and said to her, "Sure...yeah, you know me too well" 

Her sister squealed and gave her a tight hug and Iris felt so uncomfortable and hoped she wouldn't be able to see Arhur laying in her bed from where Rose was standing. 

Rose was happy for her sister because she had not dated anyone at all for nearly two years since her previous boyfriend passed so she simply wanted to express her excitement for her, but Iris just wanted her to hurry up and leave.

Rose walked over to Ophelia and gently picked her up and Ophelia woke up and said sleepily, "Auntie Iris, is the funny man from the TV okay?" 

Iris smiled from ear to ear and said to Rose, "Kids are so funny aren't they?" 

Rose knew something must be up, but didn't want to cross any boundaries so she let it be...for now...

Right when they were going to the door to leave Rose looked at her and said, "I just hope he's a good man and won't hurt you. I just want you to be happy" 

Iris almost teared up, but she didn't want her to see so she hugged her and said, "You worry too much. I am fine okay?" 

Rose simply smiled, said her goodbyes

and just when she was about to shut the door Arthur groaned from the bedroom and Rose winked at her and said, "You tired him out didn't you?" 

Iris was getting irritated now so she smiled and practically pushed her sister into the hallway. Rose laughed at her playfully and pushed her tongue against the inside of her cheeks and Iris rolled her eyes. "Have a good day" she said and then immediately disappeared inside and shut the door.

Once she locked her door she called out to Arthur. "Arthur I'm coming in there with you in just a second okay?" 

Arthur didn't answer. It had been about 30 minutes since he took the quaalude and he was thankfully beginning to feel very relaxed and, well, overall, pretty damn good. He felt sleepy, but also hazy and almost drunk. He actually liked it, but it also made his sensitive stomach queasy, but he felt so loopy that it didn't bother him much. 

Iris came into the room and smiled ever so warmly at Arthur and he smiled sleepily back at her. She got onto the bed and laid down next to him almost as if they have been together for years. She stared into his stunning Paris green eyes and could feel her heart grow like a flower that had been deprived of sunlight for a long time that was suddenly coming back to life. She felt giddy every time she had the privilege of peering into his splendid eyes. 

Arthur seemed to be feeling better so the first thing that popped into his mind was that he really wanted a cigarette. He couldn't believe he had even gone this long without one, but maybe the intoxicating presence and touch of this radiant woman was even better, but still needed a smoke nonetheless. 

"Iris...I really, really would like a cigarette" he said with a very raspy like someone who just woke up and she thought it was absolutely precious. Iris needed a cigarette too, but that brought her to the dilemma of having to go get them and risk leaving Arthur alone in her apartment and she knew taking him with her wouldn't work either especially because he didn't have clothing to wear. All he had was his suit that she knew for sure would get him arrested immediately. 

Iris touched his cheek and said, "I know you do and so do I, but I would have to leave to get them and I don't know if I can trust you here alone just yet" 

Arthur understood completely, but he wanted a cigarette so bad that he would do almost anything for one right about now. Arthur was definitely starting to feel loopy and he liked it but it also slightly reminded him of when he got blackout drink that horrible night in high school which made him feel a little nauseous. He turned to lay on his back, closed his eyes and covered them with his hands for a moment.

Iris was concerned and was worrying that maybe the Qualuudes had maybe been too high of a dose or that especially for someone so skinny on an empty stomach. "Are you alright?" 

Arthur felt like his head was fuzzy and was feeling a little dizzy. "What did you give me?", he asked with an out of place giggle at the end.

"It was just a sedative to help you relax" Iris explained. Arthur was really starting to feel it now. It had been about or 40 minutes which is the time for this medication to really kick in and Arthur has never done any drugs except a little weed a couple of times but it made him feel paranoid which was something he definitely didn't need. 

He kept looking at her and smiling at her in a playful manner. Iris giggled gleefully and said to him, "You're so funny Arthur...Don't ever forget that. You bring me immense joy" Arthur looked so happy to hear her say that and his eyes stared into hers with an immense glow of gratitude.

A big smile stretched across her face and she pressed her nose against his and said, "You're my funny valentine"

Arthur was quiet a while so Iris started to play with his damp, gorgeous hair. "Are you still cold Arthur?" She asked. Arthur didn't answer, but insread rolled over to face her and she was very pleasantly surprised when he put his face in her chest and started to nuzzle her like a cat. He giggled and said,"You're so warm and soft Iris...I think you're an angel" 

Even though his speech was muffled she knew what she heard and her heart skipped a beat. Unfortunately though, she could tell he was most certainly not sober so she had to shrug it off for now and just enjoy his warm body against hers. After a few more minutes when he still had his face nestled into her breasts she wondered if he had fallen asleep. She stroked his hair and kissed his head. She felt so jubilant in this moment. She didn't want it to ever end. 

Part of a song ran through her mind as she stroked his hair...

"Behold the way our fine feathered friend,
His virtue doth parade
Thou knowest not, my dim-witted friend
The picture thou hast made
Thy vacant brow, and thy tousled hair
Conceal thy good intent
Thou noble upright truthful sincere,
And slightly dopey gent"

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

 

"Stay little valentine...stay"

 

End chapter 16 🥀

Chapter Text

Beautiful Chaos 🖤

 

Chapter 17: The Intoxication of Love 

 

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

 

Arthur's  breathing was slower now and even though she knew he was asleep she still found herself feeling panic from past trauma. She gently lifted him and put his head back on her pillows. He seemed to be asleep but Iris still was having emotional flashbacks and was trying not to cry and wake him. She shut her eyes tightly and placed her hands over her mouth to smother the sounds of her suffering being emitted. She turned away and sat on the edge of the bed trying to catch her breath, but she jumped when she felt a hand hold onto the back of her shirt. When she turned around she saw Arthur looking, half naked, tugging on the back of her shirt.

not even half awake clinging to her shirt. 

Iris was trying to hide her tears but even though arthur was definitely under the influence of this sedative she still saw his eyes calling out to her, begging for her to be hold him close. She turned her body to face him with tears still glistening in her deep brown eyes and his still trying to pull her to him. He looked like he was drunk but even so he finally opened his mouth and uttered words that erupted beautifully in her very soul...

"It's ok to cry...you're safe and you're so-so beautiful" Arthur's speech was a little slurred and sleepy, but she heard his words perfectly and her eyes saw them written on the expression on his face. She was most certainly smitten with him and his unbelievably eyes that spoke volumes all on their own. 

No one in her life has ever made her feel it was safe or acceptable to show emotions like that which is ironic because she is a highly emotional, deep feeling woman. She has always seen things from a different perspective than others and found a long long time ago that being herself, her real self was not acceptable and something to hide in order to "fit in" and unlike many others she found it impossible so pretend so she just mostly kept to herself. 

She would still go out and do things but discovered that she does not have to have people with her to go out and enjoy things like the cinema, birdwatching, going for walks, enjoying nature and a number of other things. She does get very lonely, but not just for "someone" but a unique individual that she could truly connect with, but unfortunately that breed human being didn't seem to exist...until now

Arthur still tugged on her shirt lazily and he smiled goofily when he saw the pleasant site of Iris turn her tearful face into a glowing smile that irradiated onto his face like rays of sunlight illuminating a darkened room. He loved to make others smile even if he never smiled much himself, but for the first time in his entire existence he smiled too, but it was not false or forced, it was honest and not just another mask to put on for show. He truly felt happy and it was intoxicating. 

Iris didn't hesitate this time and even thought she almost felt she might be taking advantage on some way because of how loopy he was she just could not resist. She curled up beside him and just couldn't stop smiling at him and she planted a kiss on his bruised forehead and said, "How are you feeling cutie?" 

All Arthur seemed to hear her say were that she called him a cutie and he giggled and instantly kissed her on the lips which she did not expect because he was never forward like that since he's been here. He was the complete opposite of forward. He was closed off and frightened very much like her, but for once he seemed to need her more than she needed him. 

Iris felt his kiss envelop her and she was already becoming aroused and felt her vagina clench, but she still knew that she didn't want their first time (if there was one) to be when he was all doped up. "You think I'm cute..." he mumbled in between kisses. 

Iris and Arthur both started laughing at eachother while their noses touched. Arthur saw she still had some tears on her cheeks that didn't dry so he wiped them softly off of her cheek and said, "You don't have to hide tears from me" 

Iris kissed his cheek and said, "Well same goes for you silly. I mean it" 

"You still didn't answer my question Arthur...Are you feeling okay?" 

Arthur was feeling more than okay. He loved that his mind wasn't racing for once and he felt so relaxed that he didn't notice the pain as much external and internal as well. He laughed I response then suddenly seemed to become wild out of nowhere and wrapped one arm around her lower back and pushed her into his body and began to suckle her neck. Iris moaned in response and felt this was a dream come true. She wanted him, all of him...She wanted all the parts of him and no regrets. 

Arthur baffled Iris even more when he began to grab her her breasts and start to unzip her black hoodie all the way revealing a skimpy burgundy tank top beneath it. Her nippled were hard and protruding through the thin fabric of her shirt. Arthur thought her breasts were perfect and so soft. It felt unbelievable...

Iris tried to hard to fight these urges because she didn't want to take advantage, but it was so terribly hard especially as he touched her body in such a way that it must be a sin. She needed him inside of her.

Arthur seemed like a different person. With his inhibitions lowered like this it seemed nothing would hold him back. Iris' hand began to daringly venture down below to grasp his cock, but Arthur seemed to be slowing down for some reason and then laid back and seemed to be almost falling asleep again. Iris instantly felt guilty.

"He's fucked up Iris just stop"

Iris decided now was not the time so she took a deep breath, zipped her hoodie up and asked, "Arthur maybe just try and sleep" She moved some of his gorgeous wavy hair out of his eyes and kissed his cheek. He sat up for a moment and seemed to want to get up and before Iris could try and stop him he slid of the bed and when he tried to stand he went down like a pile of bricks. Iris heard him laughing and even though she almost wanted to laugh too, she knew he needed help.

Iris got off the bed and saw him sitting on the floor and suddenly her face went crimson. He was so messed up that he didn't realize that his robe was open at the bottom leaving his genitals totally exposed. He had an erection and she felt the sexual tension was going to make her erupt. "Arthur, what are doing?" she asked, trying to hold back the lust that was gnawing at her. She saw he was just looking around and didn't seem to even notice her until he turned to look at her and smiled at her and then his smile fell and he looked away like something was wrong. 

All he did was gaze at her longingly with those soft, sweet eyes that melted her heart. His dark brows over his vibrant green eyes made them stand out even more and she just wanted to let them swallow her. Even though Arthur protested she forced him back in bed and quickly covered his privates and put a blanket over him. He was trembling a little, but seemed unaware that he was even cold. 

Iris ran her fingers through his beautifully disheveled strands of hair and they stared at eachother for what felt like a rapturous eternity. There seemed to be an invisible, silken string holding their longing eyes together and although the strand was fragile and thin it seemed unbreakable.

Arthur's eyes were half lidded and shiny and Iris' eyes were clear, full of fire and seemed to be engulfed in a dream. A dream that if it were painted into a picture would be his face and the way it seemed to shine brightly in her eyes and how deeply his soulful eyes penetrated her entire state of being. She was mad for him and he was, well, mad...but he was mad for her in a different way and it was transcendental. 

Arthur held his gaze for a bit but then seemed to be falling asleep again and only a few moments later when she was going to kiss his forehead and let him sleep he was trying to get I yet again. She felt this was worse than babysitting, but she also thought he was adorable. Arthur seemed to be trying to get to the bathroom, but his motor skills seemed nonexistent so Iris tried to guide him there. He kept trying to resist her and abruptly stopped trying to walk, leaned into her like he was about to pass out. "Arthur are you okay? What do you need baby?" 

Arthur snickered like a drunk after leaving a bar at 3am and said to her, "Iris....I need a cigarette and I th-think we need to go get them...now...right now"

Iris was starting to freak out and hoped she didn't give him too much. She held him to her chest and said, "How about this...I will go get them but only if you stay in the bed okay?" 

Arthur fell silent and then mumbled something she could barely make out. "What's that, honey" 
Arthur stepped back and stumbled backwards a little and she noticed his demeanor had suddenly changed. He looked almost cross with her and said, "Dont trap me...I-I'm not a dog" 

Iris was very concerned for him and felt horrible. He was now backing further away and went into the bathroom. "Arthur please..let me help you" Iris said as she walked into the bathroom rescuing him from yet another bad fall. He was now starting to look pale and leaned against the wall facing the toilet and slid down it.

Iris crouched down beside him and seemed to be on the verge of tears for reasons unknown to her. She felt helpless so she just stroked his hair in an attempt to comfort this poor man. 

Arthur rubbed the side of his face and said, "I thought she liked me...but she just used me as joke...they all took pictures..." 

Iris saw he seemed to be holding back tears and he looked pale and withdrawn. She knew nothing she could say would do much in this moment so she did something she never does with anyone and she held him to her chest, put her red lips close to his ear and began to sing softly to him.

Iris loved to sing and was very good at it, but only ever really did it in private. She saw Arthur's eyes slowly begin to close and he nuzzled her chest.

"Oh, my love, my darling
I've hungered for your touch
A long, lonely time
Time goes by so slowly
And time can do so much
Are you still mine?
I need your love
I need your love
God speed your love to me..."

Arthur let her soothing, velvet soft voice break into his walls and caress his damaged heart. While she sang into his ear he looked up at her with bloodshot eyes that sparkled and whispered, "You're amazing" He then held her tight and she almost felt she would cry but she continued to sing as she stroked his head and he allowed her to calm and sooth his distorted mind and put it as ease. 
Iris sang again while staring right at him as if her fear and insecurity had vanished for the one moment...and it was perfect...

 

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

 

 

End Chapter 17....🥀

 

 

 

 

Chapter Text

 

Beautiful Chaos  🖤

 

" Please don't go" 

 

"Lonely rivers flow
To the sea, to the sea
To the open arms of the sea
Lonely rivers sigh
"Wait for me, wait for me"
I'll be coming home, wait for me..."

Arthur was in awe and he couldn't believe how incredible she was. He felt as though since he met her he has been in a dream. He felt as if he died in that alley and awakened into a form of heaven where this angel named Iris came to show him that perhaps there is more than just darkness. As listened intently to her voice as it seemed to enter his disfigured soul and calm his inner raging demon. A demon that perhaps only appeared to be a "demon" but was in fact a terrified little boy that had been caged for what seemed like an eternity and has been crying out for love that the little boy never received from the human beings that were supposed to keep him safe. 

Iris finished the song and saw that Arthur seemed to have drifted off and she couldn't help but feel emotional. She had fallen for him which was not her intention and now she feared that there would be immense pain and suffering attached to loving such a man. She stared up at the ceiling as she felt unwanted tears sting her eyes. She had been through so much torment in her life and she questioned why she seemed to always seek out chaos even though she usually didn't realize it until it was too late. 

Iris also thought maybe down at the depths of her heart she did know that her quiet voice of reason spoke the truth but that voice of reason was smothered by her flaming desire for passion and beauty. Perhaps the saying "The heart wants what the heart wants" was more true than anything she's ever heard...she just wished her heart didn't always fly towards the deadly apple and allow it to poison her. 

Arthur stirred and Iris snapped back into reality. Arthur clung to her tighter and murmured softly, "Iris...I'm glad you're real"

Iris kissed his head and said to him,"I am very real Arthur and...and...I love you..." 

Iris immediately wished she didn't utter those words, but at the same time she needed to say it. Unfortunately she also needed Arthur to respond with the same words, but he did not say a word. He seemed to be sleeping and she could hear and feel him breathing in her arms and for a moment she looked down at this precious yet wild man with a savage soul and felt that nothing else mattered...nothing. There was no one else and nothing else in this world at this very moment except beautifully insane Arthur and herself, but she did wonder and fear that she would also meet Joker and maybe sooner than she could imagine.

Iris finally dropped off of her cliff of fantasy and hit the hard ground of reality and she reluctantly started to lift Arthur so that she could put him to bed. As soon as she started to move his frail body he shot awake and started to resist as first as if he was having a nightmare. She spoke to him soothingly as she lifted him ever so gently to his unstable feet. 

Arthur felt extremely inebriated and was having a nightmare that he was actually grateful that Iris rescued him from. He was now feeling very dizzy and as Iris was moving him he suddenly felt the ground was not stable underneath him and Iris had to stop him from falling a few times. He was groaning as she walked him to the bed. Before she laid him on the bed she pulled down her comforter and sheets so that he could put him underneath them make sure he stayed warm. She really wished at this point that she could strap him down somehow so that she could run and grab cigarettes. Even though Arthur needed a smoke Iris felt she definitely needed one more.

Iris very gently laid Arthur on her head and he laughed incoherently. "Okay time for bed now Arthur" she said to him as if he were a toddler. He let her tuck him in and then he looked at her giggling and winked at her. Iris smiled warmly at him, kissed his forehead and said, "Arthur you have to stay in bed this time okay?"

"Are you going to sleep with me?" Arthur asked with that same inebriated laugh. Iris looked at his sweet, pitiful eyes and said, "I will in a minute. I'm going to go get us cigarettes, but if you don't stay in bed and rest I won't be able to get any"

Arthur grinned at the sweet sound of the word "cigarettes" and nodded his head. He smiled gleefully and said, "Fuck yes" 

"I'll he back in about 20 minutes okay?", she said, her tone laced with worry. Arthur was starting to pass out again, but before she left she turned him onto his side and gently tilted his head up just in case he threw up. She wanted him to stay safe more than anything else in the world.

Arthur seemed to actually be asleep but she knew that could change any second so she quickly and very quietly got her shoes on, pulled her hood over her head, grabbed her bag and keys and practically tiptoed out the door, but not before taking one final peak into her bedroom to make sure he was still okay. 

"Oh god help me...I love him" She thought to herself as she walked out the door, locked it and walked to elevator. She hoped this risky errand wouldn't take long...

**********

As Iris got downstairs and pushed through the doors that led her outside she saw that it was dark. She seemed to have lost track of time since last night. This 24 hours had felt like a week and she cursed at herself for falling in love so quickly like she tended to do. 

Once she was walking to the convenience store she noticed things had died down, but there were still people walking around in clown masks and as her eyes were scanning her surroundings cautiously it dawned on her that tomorrow was October 31st. She had completely forgotten about Halloween which was very odd for her because she adored Halloween, but all the insanity going on it completely slipped her mind. 

There were police around every corner and Iris was beginning to feel anxious and it probably did not help that she smiled awkwardly at almost every officer she saw. She couldn't help but smile with an odd excitement when she saw that people were also walking around dressed as Joker as well. It seems that since last night Arthur had made himself into an object of worship and respect. She felt excited but also felt a hot stab of fear I'm her heart.

Iris was hearing the shop and she started to see more and more people with Joker attire and His makeup painted on their rebellious faces and that is when a very dangerous idea sprung into her deviously brilliant yet dangerous mind....

"What if Arthur and I went out for Halloween...?" 

She knew it was rediculous idea but then she thought that with all the people dressed as him and dressed as clowns it may not be such a huge risk as long as Arthur behaved himself. The only thing that did worry her truly was that Arthur is injured and should probably rest. She would ask him, perhaps and she what he said. 

"Iris...you're utterly insane" 

Despite her often ignored voice of reason her mind was already plotting. Iris is a very kind, gentle hearted woman, but she does not usually extend that same kindness and gentleness to herself so there were times where she just needed to free her ravenous and wild side and unlike Arthur she wasn't one to harm people physically or otherwise so instead she would partake in binge drinking and getting high sometimes especially on Halloween. 

Her brain was beaming with mischievous thoughts. She smiled as she she passed people wearing clown masks and dressed as her Arthur and almost wanted to cheer for then, but there were police everywhere so she thought it best not to. She was so distracted that she almost passed the convenience store. She stopped and walked in.

Her eyes looked behind the front counter seeing if they had her brand of cigarettes and they did, but she passed the front counter and walked over to the freezer section. She saw a number of varieties of beer that seemed to beckon her and she smiled in response. She didn't think Arthur was really an drinker and knew also that he shouldn't drink with the pill he took because it would likely kill him or make him violently ill. Despite a brief moment of hesitation she grabbed two 6 packs of Guinness and walked over to the register.

Iris did have enough sense to know at least not to drink much tonight if anything at all, but still she really needed a break. While she was in line someone tapped on her shoulder and said, "Hey Iris"

She nearly jumped out of her skin and turned around to see her coworker behind her smiling. It was Kelsey who was one of the few people she worked with that she didn't despise. Iris put on that same nervous smile that she had been putting on all day and said, "Hi Kelsey"

"Hey, are you doing anything for Halloween?" She asked.

Iris almost didn't know what to say to this simple question and also suddenly remembered that Kelsey was also a nurse and she smiled at her and said, "Well, I don't know because...my good friend A-Abby got hurt during these crazy riots and she is poor and may have fractured a rib"

Kelsey looked at her with generic sympathy and said, "Oh no that's terrible"

It was almost Iris' turn in line so she quickly said, "Hey you're a nurse...what would be a good suggestion for someone with a fractured rib?"

It was her turn in line and she was going to buy a couple of packs but with the way her and Arthur smoke she was smart and bought a carton. She paid and then stood to the side to let Kelsey go next. Once kelsey finished her purchase she looked at Iris kindly and said, "Well, for a fracture she should honeslty try and walk around and stay active but nothing like sports or anything strenuous. Also, tylenol and ibuprofen help and even if it hurts she should try and take deep breaths in and out throughout the day, every two hours if possible"

Iris nodded her head but inside she thinking, " So basically I've been doing everything wrong"

Kelsey seemed to be lost in thought for a moment and then continued speaking, " She also should try and have a cold compress to help sooth the pain, staying active is important...oh and keep a watch on her because there are times where fluid can build up and cause pneumonia"

Iris' face dropped when she said that and Kelsey saw the look of dread etched on her face and said, "But don't worry Iris, that's why those exercises and activity are important"

Iris smiled at her, thanked her and Kelsye went on her way. Iris was relieved that she knew what to do now, but also terrified that something could go wrong, but she was also thrilled that walking around was important because that meant maybe they could have some Halloween fun. 

"I'm absolutely insane" 

As Iris made her way back to her apartment building she saw news stands with Arthur's Joker persona all over every cover. She cringed for a moment and walked by them quickly so she didn't have to think too much about it. She lit a cigarette and when she inhaled she felt instant relief. 

Iris was looking down searching for her keys when she approached the front of her building and almost dropped her cigarette right out of her mouth when she saw two police officers talking to someone at the front doors and she almost bolted out of terror but knew how that would look. She took a deep breath and walked to the front doors. 

She could her heart practically puding in her ears as she neared the officers. She was almost to the doors when they stopped her. She turned around hoping she looked as normal as possible and said very abruptly, "Yes officer?" 

As the young officer approached her she thought her heart was going to explode. He smiled, stared at her for a second and said, "Are you alright miss?" 

Iris almost thought she was going to choke on her words, but finally spoke, "I'm fine, there's just so much insanity out there ya know?"

The officer smiled at looking like he thought she was acting odd and said, "That's very true, especially with that psycho in the loose"

Iris didn't know what had gotten into her these past two days, but as this officer spoke to her she almost had the urge to grab her pistol from out of her purse. She didn't want Arthur to be taken away from her like everyone and everything else in her life and as self centered as that may sound it was the absolute truth and she didn't care.

Iris looked down for a moment and then said, "Yes, I know I saw that on the TV last night.. it was horrible" She took a drag of her cigarette that was still hanging from her lips and said, "So, what's going on officer?"

When she spoke those words she almost didn't even want him to answer in fear that his response would shatter her diabolical little love fantasy. He looked at her, almost as if he were examining her face and said, " Well, there's been a report of a few break ins at this building and we were just asking some of the residents if they've seen or heard anything" 

Iris felt all her horrific anxiety and heart racing fears instantly wash away, at least for the time being, and she smile gleefully at him and said, "Oh...I'm sorry but no I have not seen anything, but I will most certainly let you know if I do" 

"Alright miss, sorry for taking up your time. You have a nice night" he said to her with a big smile, which Iris thought was very odd, but she didn't have the time to worry about what that may or may not mean so she wished him a good night and just as she about to open the door he stopped her yet again...

"Oh and on more thing miss"

Iris felt all her fears flood back into her unstable mind and she turned to him and said, "Yes?" 

He grinned at her and said, "Would you like to get coffee sometime?"

Iris almost wanted to burst out laughing but instead she smiled coyly and simply said, "As flattering as that is sir I have a boyfriend, sorry"

He looked down bashfully, still smiling, and said, "I figured as much. Well, you have a great night miss" 

She waved him goodbye and finally entered her building after what felt like the longest 7 minutes of her entire life and quickly got to the elevator and pushed the uo button several times, as if that would make it some how bend to her inpatients will, and finally the doors opened. Nobody was on the elevator which was a relief and as the elevator made it's way to her floor she felt and immense relief. She even laughed to herself briefly as the elevator stopped on her floor. The doors opened and she practically skipped to her door. 

Once her door was unlocked she immediately wanted to jump into bed with Arthur and snuggle up, but knew he was probably knocked out. She brought the beer to just bought into her tiny kitchen and put both 6 packs in her nearly empty fridge. She took one beer out, popped the lid off using her counter and took a small sip and let out a huge sigh. She felt guilty for enjoying some alcohol while Arthur wasn't feeling well, but wasn't going to drink much and needed a relief. 

After she took a few more sips she grabbed a pack of cigarettes from her purse and quietly made her way to her bedroom. When she came in Arhur was curled up in the same spot snoring softly with Tilly curled up behind him purring almost in unison with his snoring. Her heart smiled and she wanted to get right into bed with Arthur, but didn't want to disturb him either so when she was in her room she removed her sneakers, took her hoodie off and pulled her tank top off.

Her back was turned to Arthur who she thought was dead asleep until she heard him mumble something from behind her and she instantly turned around without thinking and saw Arthur trying to sit up. He didn't seem to take notice in the fact that her bare breasts were right in front of him but nonetheless she turned the other way and scrambled around her dresser drawer to find a shirt to put on. 

Arthur woke up because he was having strange dreams and didn't even remember where he was at first but when he saw Iris, even with her back turned to him he still mustered a sweet yet dopey smile. He managed to sit up and murmured, "Wow, you're so gorgeous Iris" His voice was very hoarse and he sounded like he was still dreaming. He wanted to get up to pee, but he suddenly felt very dizzy and didn't know if he could stand up, but his drowsy eyes spotted a pack of cigarettes on her dresser. He felt like a kid on Christmas and, without even thinking, tried to get out of bed, but crumpled to the floor like a mariette without it's master.

Iris put a black tshirt on and turned around and saw Arthur on the floor leaning on the side of the bed staring at her in a daze. She came to his aid immediately. When she was kneeling in front of him he smiled at her and said, "Can-can I pl-please have a cigarette...please?" 

Iris touched his cheek, looked at him with worry in her eyes and said, "Are you okay Arthur?" 

"Yes, I just really want a cigarette" he mumbled to her. 

Iris really wished he would just sleep, but he just seemed to be fixed on having a smoke so she didn't see any harm in it. "Okay, but let's just get you back in bed"

Arthur wanted to smoke so badly, but also needed to empty his bladder so he sighed and said, "I...I have to pee...I'm sorry" 

Iris knew it was going to be difficult to get him too the bathroom if he was still feeling inebriated, but she kissed his forehead and helped him to his feet and she was glad that he seemed to manage better than before. Once they were in the bathroom he looked at her lazily, with eyes that still struck her heart, and said, "Iris, I will be okay"

Iris kissed his cheek and left the room to give him some privacy. She stood and waited outside the door just in case he needed her help but he seemed to be fine. She heard him urinating and heard it stop, but then it was silent for a little too long for her fearful thoughts to stay at bay. She opened to door a crack and asked, "Are you alright Arthur?"

Arthur was done peeing, but was still feeling dizzy, foggy and was beginning to feel queasy so he leaned against the wall for a moment so he could close his eyes in hope that the room would stop spinning. He heard Iris come in and he looked at her and managed a weak little smile even though he was feeling sick. He wanted her to not have so many anxieties regarding him so he smiled for her, but this type of smile he made was for her and for her alone. 

Iris saw he looked pale and clammy and she saw his smile suddenly drop and he looked away. She saw him swallow and squeeze his eyes shut again. He was now holding his stomach and slid down the wall groaning. He hugged his knees to his chest and kept his head tilted back and she could tell he was probably trying to fight off a nasty bout of vomiting. Iris knew that dizziness, nausea and vomiting were common side effects but he had seemed fine up until now. She knelt down beside him and said with a gentle tone in her voice, "Arthur, are you feeling sick sweety?"

Arthur held onto her arm and looked at her for a moment with the most pitiful expression swallowed and said, " I'm sorry Iris...I re-really don't deserve you" and even though he wanted to say more he could not because he felt if he kept speaking he would vomit. Iris saw he seemed to be having a hard time and said, "Arthur, what's wrong? Talk to me"

Arthur looked at her, smiled faintly and statyed to say, "N-noth-" but then had to hang his head over the toilet so that he wouldn't make a mess of her bathroom. Iris ran her fingers through the ends of his sleek hair as he vomited. She felt so badly for him especially because he had nothing in his stomach to begin with.

"Poor baby" she thought, as she rubbed his back. Arthur was retching horribly and Iris was very concerned, especially because he kept groaning and grunting in between being sick and she knew it must be because this banged up ribs were hurting from retching. When he was finally done he reached for the toilet handle and after missing it a few times he got it and leaned back against the wall and slumped down into Iris' lap and said, "S-sorry"

She stroked his hair and grabbed some toilet paper to wipe his mouth, leaned down to kiss his cheek and whispered softly into his ear, "You don't ever have to be sorry Arthur"

Arthur had his eyes closed again and even though Iris didn't want to disturb him she really needed to get him back to bed. "Okay, Arthur let's get you back to bed" She lifted him to his feet and put his arm around her shoulder, but he was walking better than he was earlier. Once she made it back to her room with him she laid him back down for what seemed like the 100th time. He stared at her dreamily as she put the blankets over him and he couldn't help but smile. "Will you lay with me?" he asked. 

"Of course, Arthur, just a second okay?" she said with a huge smile on her face. She went to grab her beer and cigarettes and got on her bed. Arthur was out of it, but as soon as he saw her light a cigarettes his eyes seemed to light up. She saw the look on his face and giggled and handed him one without him even having to ask. He sat up and placed the cigarette in between his lips, eagerly waiting for her to hand him the lighter. 

Iris lit her cigarette and was going to hand him the lighter, but lit it for him instead and they gazed deeply into one another's eyes for a magical moment before they both leaned back on the bed. Arthur had the most satisfying look on his face. Iris didn't think she'd ever seen anyone look more pleased in her entire life.

Arthur was leaning back against her headboard with his head lifted towards the ceiling with his eyes closed enjoying his nicotine. Iris watched him as he exhaled smoke from his mouth and she just couldn't take her eyes of this beautifully disheveled man beside her. She wanted to have him right here, right now and make him beg for mercy. Arthur caught her ogling, yawned and said, ,"What?" 

Iris giggled nervously and said, "No no-nothing silly just go to sleep okay?"

Arthur protested and strongly claimed that he was not tired, but only about 3 minutes later his cigarette almost falling out of his mouth because he was nodding off. Iris took the drooping lit cigarette from his mouth and put it out. She adjusted his pillows for him, gave him soft kiss on his forehead and made sure he was warm and comfortable. She just could not help but stare at him sleeping for a bit. He looked peaceful and that made her smile.

Iris stayed up for a couple of hours after Arthur fell asleep and sipped her beer and even smoked a joint and just relaxed. She felt very relaxed and blissful laying in bed with this beautiful man, catching a lovely buzz and just soaking in the events since the night before. She simply could not believe that it had only been about 24 hours since she found this unusual man, this utterly extraordinary man.

It had felt like months since she met him and it frightened her in some ways how head over heels she has fallen for him. She feared greatly that there would be a price. Loving a man like him would most certainly come with a great cost, but right now all her eyes saw was this incredible, unique soul sleeping beside her in her usually lonely bed. 

Iris finished her beer, smoked another cigarette and got into bed. She switched light off and snuggled in close to Arthur as if he was a comfort blanket that she needed to feel safe. She listened to his steady breathing and his small grunts and sighs as he slept and it made her feel so warm...it was bliss. She held his hand and felt herself begin to feel emotional and her grip tightened slightly in his skinny hand. Her fingers explored the bones in his hand and she ran her finger over a protruding vein. Every little bit of him was like poetry and she wanted to read it over and over again...

She felt unwanted tears well up in her eyes and she held him closer. The tears that she wished would vanish spilled from her eyes as if from an erupting volcano and she brought her face right to his ear and whispered, " Please don't go...please stay" 

Shortly after she allowed those morose words to escape her broken soul and exit through her trembling lips Arthur rolled onto his side and held her in his sleep. Iris closed her eyes and was finally asleep and she hoped that even in her dreams she would be holding Arthur and never have to leave....

 

"I had a dream my life would be

So different than this hell I'm living 

So different now from what it seemed

Now life had killed the dream

I dreamed"

🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀

 

End Chapter 18 🖤

Chapter Text

Beautiful Chaos 

Chapter 19: The Beautiful, yet, Deadly Apple 🥀

 

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As the sun rose on a new day, Iris and Arthur were still fast asleep holding eachother, frozen in a glorious and blissful embrace that could illuminate the blackness night deep within their sacred yet scarred up hearts. Iris rolled to her side still asleep and Arthur wrapped his arms around her from behind. They were the epitome unison. 

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

It was about 8:30am and Iris was starting to open her eyes. At first she almost panicked because she works almost every single day of the week but she had requested Halloween off a month ago so she realized she had nothing to worry about. Arthur was still fast asleep and his arms were still lightly wrapped around her.
Iris had to pee very badly, but also didn't want to wake Arthur. He nuzzled in closer to her sleepily, making it even harder for her to bring herself to move. Her cat Tilly suddenly jumped up on the bed and to her dismay, started meowing incessantly. 

Iris tried to shush her, but Tilly only cared about Iris giving her food and she would not stop until she did. Arthur sighed softly but didn't wake up which Iris was grateful for. Iris started to slowly and reluctantly remove herself from Arthur's warm embrace. Arthur stirred and grunted slightly but still did not wake from his much needed slumber. 

She took a moment to pause and stare at Arthur as he slept peacefully. She thought he looked beautiful. His cheek was pressed against her pillow and some thick peices of his dark, luxurious curls poetically curtained some of his closed eye. His dark lashes were long and curled upwards at the tips and blended beautifully with his thick curls on his head. She could see he was breathing steadily and even sighed a couple of times and even though he grunted slightly from the pain of his injuries from a couple of nights ago, he still stayed fast asleep. 

It brought her an indescribable amount of glee to see him warm, safe and enveloped in a deep slumber that, from the serene look on his face, must be free of any nightmares for once. Iris even dared to bring her hand slowly over his dreaming head gently move some of his gorgeous locks out of his eye. Just the light touch of his hair made her almost quiver with excitement.

She loved seeing him look so peaceful and her smile grew as she noticed that some color was in his face for once, instead of the pallid, sickly color he usually had. She almost was tempted to grab her Polaroid camera to snap a photo, but there was no need. This perfect image would be photographed in her memory forever.

Finally, after Iris carefully moved away from Arthur she got off the bed so she could go to the bathroom, but glanced at Arthur one more time and smiled when she saw him curled up sleeping soundly. Tilly followed Iris to the bathroom still meowing and Iris shushed and cursed at her on the way to the bathroom. When Iris was done peeing she went to go feed Tilly so that she would stop making noise. Iris leaned over Arthur on his side of the bed and have him a peck on the cheek before she went to go shower. 

Arthur was dead asleep until he felt something rough stroke his cheek. He grunted and tried to move away whatever was doing it, but it did not work. He reluctantly opened his eyes and saw Tilly staring down at him. "Hey....stop that" he said groggily as he pulled the blanket over his head. Arthur was still very tired and feeling foggy. Tilly didn't seem to care about Athur protesting and proceeding to climb onto his shoulder and Arthur soon realized that going back to sleep may not be and option anymore.

Sleep was either very scarce or fleeting for Arthur so the fact that he slept all through the night and still would like to sleep even more was shocking to him. Arthur didn't remember everything from last night, but he did know that he was given a sedative so that made sense. From the small bits and pieces he remembered what came to his mind the most was soft and gentle sound of Iris' voice and blissful sensation of her hand combing through his hair and how safe he felt. His mind then wondered into pleasurable memories of when Iris and him were touching and kissing deeply on her bed. He was still sleepy, but without him fully realizing it another part if his body was reacting to those pleasant memories as well. 

Arthur still had his eyes closed and was enjoying the warmth of the bed and the blankets enveloping his frail, abused body. Tilly eventually stopped bothering Arthur and he brought the blanket down a little so his head stuck a bit his usually racing and raging mind was being warmly embraced by comforting thoughts of his dark angel...Iris. 

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Iris felt the relaxing hot water sooth her anxious mind and body as she washed up and her mind kept imagining Arthur in the shower with her. She thought of his nude body pressed up against hers and his gorgeous hair drenched from the streaming hot water and looking absolutely enticing. Her mind also wondered down some darkened halls where ominous thoughts lurked and whispered all of her worst fears into her ears with forked tongues and hot, flaming breath. 

The worst part for her is that her budding relationship with this unpredictable man that she saught out amongst raging insanity outside could very well end in a tragic Shakespearean way, or bloom into something celestial and devine, or perhaps, a combination of both. She did not know which road this new love would take her to, but she was certainly not about to give up and she also knew that it would definitely not be boring.

Iris finished her washing and pondering, turned the water off and stepped out of the shower. She brushed her teeth, quickly wrapped her towel around her body and exited the bathroom, tiptoeing eagerly to her bedroom. She saw that Arthur still seemed to be asleep, but moving a bit from underneath the blankets. She was about to walk over to him, but stopped herself so that she could put some clothes on even though that was not what her heart or body desired. 

Iris also realized that Arthur had not seen all her scars on her arms past times of relentless, internalized suffering and she suddenly felt self conscious. She was looking for something to wear, occasionally speaking over her shoulder to see if Arthur was peering at her naked, half hoping he was and half hoping he wasn't.

Arthur thought he heard something, but he was half in a dream and half in a foggy reality. Normally his mind would be plagued with horrifying flashbacks and traumatic anxiety, but his mind was fixed on Iris and nothing else. He rolled onto his back and was quickly reminded of the beating he took and the car crash from the other night as the pain started to come back the more he woke up. It did not feel as bad as it did yesterday and was most definitely grateful for that indeed. He wished he could sleep all day and the only thing stopping him from doing that was his beautiful woman.

**************

Arthur normally had an extremely hard time sleeping, but there were also times when he was off from work and his lack of sleep and high stress would catch up with him and he would just lay on his couch and sleep for hours upon hours. His mother, even though she was "crazy", would check on him and try to get him to eat, but he would just become irritated and dismiss her.

When he had those days where he could finally sleep and not have to deal with the world and it's heavy weight pushing him down all the time, he would collapse on the couch, curl up with a blanket and sleep. He would only get up occasionally to use the bathroom and to smoke, of course. She hated that he smoked so much, butb that just made him want to do it more. Lack of sleep was definitely a huge problem all throughout his life, but sleeping too much has always been an issue as well.

It made his chest feel tight when he thought of his mother. He killed her and there was no denying it and there was no excuses. He did what he did and she was dead. He just could not deal with all the horrors of his childhood that he read in that file and having to find it out all at once was extremely overwhelming. The worst part of it was, he had no one and shortly after he found out that his "girlfriend" was only an illusion. He just couldn't take it. He would want to almost turn to his mother, but he had realized she was not a comfort anymore and truly never had been. 

Arthur smothered the life out of her nearly lifeless body the same way she wrote his tragic life story from the time he was a boy from the horrific way she raised him. He often wondered if he would have been different if she had been a real mother to him and as some of those memories flooded back to him, it almost made him sick. It was simply too much...

It did make his blackened heart hurt when he thought of past memories in that apartment. She was mostly absent or the one needing all the attention and the one getting all the coddling. There were times though when he would go through those times where he would just sleep the days away where he would catch her sitting in her chair watching over him. She usually stayed in her room especially in the evening, but she did, in her own way, care about her son.

She would try and make him eat, but he would just ignore her and go back to making sure all of her needs were met, rather than his own...

All the times Arthur was sick and he would be resistant and would still try to overwhelm himself with tasks and his job she would try and make sure he got some rest. He had a rather weak immune system and his lack of care for his overall health didn't help either. The time he passed out at work and his friend Gary had to help him her home she did worry, but truly did not know how to be a mother. Arthur had a bad fever that night and was tossing and turning on the couch and the few times he would wake up and was slightly lucid he saw her sleeping in her chair.

That night she sid not leave that chair. She even tried to give him water and make him eat something, but would shoo her away, so that he could go back to suffering in silence. He even woke up at one point and saw she had left a trash bin next to him because she knew he had a weak and nervous stomach especially when he was ill. He was sick for days and even though she wasn't good with words she tried to be present sometimes in her own silent way. 

Unfortunately most of his experiences with her were the very cause of his ptsd and severe trauma. Arthur still felt a surge of satisfaction knowing she was dead and that he was the cause. In his mind, she had gotten what she deserved. 

He was alone in his pain, with no one to confide in, so he used the power vengeance to ease his suffering...

************

He fully awoke and found himself trying to reach for Iris, but she was not in bed with him. He heard some noise on the other side of the room and turned his head over and saw a sight that nearly took his breath away. Although his eyes were still not fully open, and squinting from the sunlight shining through her half open curtains, they were fixated on the stellar sight of Iris taking her towel off of her freshly bathed, naked form. 

Arthur was conflicted because he didn't want to be rude, but he also just couldn't seem to look away. Arthur had little sexual experience and even when he did it was unpleasant and very awkward. There was also usually alcohol involved to numb his overactive nerves making matters even worse. He only truly had sex once, but he was extremely intoxicated and the girl that was fucking him was doing it as a joke while other fellow classmates took pictures and videos. He had made out with women several times throughout his life, but he would start to recoil or lose his erection from paralyzing memories of his first sexual encounter hence the women would either be offended or have no further interest. 

Arthur never really liked drinking much, there had been many a time where he would use alcohol to calm his nerves so that his laughter wouldn't be such a problem. He also used it to make it easier for him to talk to women, but then he would continue to drink to feel even more bold and better causing absolutely catastrophe for him and hence loss of interest for the women. Arthur eventually gave up and avoided sexual encounters completely and dating altogether. 

He longed for a special someone and was indescribably lonely, but had given up all hope until he met about two days ago and now he had other worries brought on by the sheer fact that he was actually falling in love with this woman which made his need to impress her and be a "man" even greater than it ever had been. 

To make matters worse he still had a hard time allowing himself to feel joy from her presence in his life out of fear of the unknown and most of all that insidious paranoia that hid in the back of his mind telling him that she was just another illusion. He couldn't bare another earth shattering disappointment like that again. He also knew that as much as he adores her he couldn't promise her, himself or anyone that he would "behave" and he no longer lied to himself or others and he especially would never lie to this magnificent woman, but he still asked himself "Can I quell my beast from within for her? And even if I can...would it last?"

He did not want to frighten her, but he also knew the animalistic darkness that dwelled from within could not be smothered anymore as it had been for so long. Iris was a devine human being and although he could not guarantee being on his best behavior, he could absolutely promise that he would never intentionally harm her or drag her down with him if things ever became too dangerous. He thought she was someone worthy of the best even if he did not share the same feelings for himself...

**********

Iris was using the towel that had been covering her naked body to dry off her wet skin and Arthur watched her every move as if it were a breathtaking timeless film. She reached down to her ankle with her towel to dry her leg and his eyes spotted a number of scars on what he could see of her right arm as it reached down to dry her leg. Some of them were wider than others, some were smaller and shorter, but his eyes saddened when he saw that most of them seemed to have been from deep self inflicted wounds and there were also several little spots on her arms and calf that looked like cigarette burns. He instantly wanted to hold her and show her how bright of a beautiful light she truly is.

Iris was drying off her chest now with her towel and she was even humming softly a lovely tune that Arthur didn't recognize at first until she hummed more of the song. He smiled when he heard it was a song that he loved since he was a child. It was called "My Funny Valentine" and he just could not believe how amazing she is and how the scars on her shapely body reflected that she was a strong woman and a survivor. 

She continued to hum the song that unbeknownst to her was a song very close to Arthur's heart and seemed to be lost in her own little world. Arthur fought inside his head with himself with the powerful urge begging him to get up and become engrossed in her beautiful heart and body like an enthralling novel and become one with her, but he could only fight it for so long before his passionate soul pulled his body out of bed. 

His sore body and his timidness were nowhere near as powerful as the magnetic yearning in his heart, very much like the adrenaline that pumped through his veins the night he took the life of a mundane talkshow host, that lifted him up despite his injuries and just as pure. The undeniable difference, of course, being that he wanted to be close to this human being and put that same energy into doing something good. He desired nothing more than to show her how much he cared for her and it took a great amount of courage on his part, but he saw her as someone much braver than he could ever be simply because, despite all her suffering she still had such powerful empathy inside her that surpassed his all of his explosive rage...

Iris was so lost in thought that she didn't hear Arthur approach her at first, but she gasped and turned around when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned and saw that it Arthur and instantly put her towel back around her flustered body, but then she froze and stared into his eyes that shined like a pair of emeralds and this time he did not avert his gaze. He was still slightly trembling with anxiety, but he didn't allow that to stop him this time. 

Iris was breathing heavy as she stared at him and she was trying to keep her towel in place. She looked at him like a helpless deer, but despite her fears she didn't protest when Arthur made the daring move of taking the towel from her hands that were holding it in place and simply let it crumple to the floor. 

"Arthur" she breathed as his hand cupped her chin and she noticed how much taller he was than her. He seemed to tower over her in this moment in more ways than one and she loved it. He held his magnetic gaze on her and leaned in to kiss her and she closed her eyes ready for him to take her...all of her...right now...

Arthur's mind started to race suddenly and drift out of the present moment and Iris saw his eyes change and she knew exactly what it was. The look of hesitation in his eyes was all too familiar to her because she shares that same fear. His confidence began to slightly shrivel and he looked away and said, "I'm sorry Iris"

Iris knew he just didn't want to harm her somehow, but she took the reins and showed him that he had nothing to be sorry about. "Arthur...I need you..." she whispered into his ear and with those words she was then suddenly engulfed in his kiss. He ran his fingers through her fragrant, wet hair and slightly gripped the back of her head passionately as his curious tongue went further into her mouth. 

They both pulled away for a moment to catch their breath and they just stared at eachother, both with eyes that seemed to scream at eachother, begging for them not to stop. Iris was breathing heavily and said to him "Arthur..." 

He gazed into her eyes in the most gentle manner she had ever seen in her entire life, leaned close to her ear and whispered, "It seems that my entire life has just been one bad day until I met you..." Iris closed her eyes taking in the pure beauty of those words and thought she might cry. 

Iris leaned her face into his slender neck and breathed, "It seems that my entire life has been me, only fading into the background until I found you...and I know what you've done and I know I may regret this, but...I just need you inside of me" 

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End Chapter: 19 🥀

🍎

 

 

Chapter Text

Beautiful Chaos 

 

Chapter 19: Unison 🥀

 

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Arthur closed his eyes taking in the almost unfathomable words that just escaped her perfect lips and then felt himself become fully erect. He started to become nervous again and had to smother an unwanted giggle with his hands. He felt the same way he did when he was on stage at that comedy club except that this meant more to him and he wished he could just make it stop. He turned away from her as he laughed tearfully, but soon felt Iris' tender lips kissing the back of his neck. He covered his mouth with his forearm as more laughing plagued him, but Iris did not walk away or ridicule him...She just continued to kiss his neck as if his illness didn't matter.

"You're okay, Arthur" Iris said softly in between kisses. She could tell that his laughing was sounding now like a combination of crying and laughing this time. He kept saying sorry in between his laughter and covering his mouth with both of his hands. She walked over to face him and she saw tears in his eyes. She stood on her toes and kissed his neck and moved down to his collar bone. Arthur could feel himself slowly begin to calm down. The very touch of her was much more effective than any medication he has ever taken. 

Arthur's relentless affliction slowed down the more Iris kissed his neck and collar bones and finally it was gone. Iris soothed his restless soul in a way that he could not even fathom. He was catching his breath now and all his mind was focused on now was the sweet sensation of her powerful yet delicate touch. 

Iris stopped and held his face in her hands and said, "You don't and shouldn't ever have to apologize for having an illness and no one should ever make you feel as though you should act as if you don't" 

The very second that Iris finished that impactful sentence he wasted no more precious time and pressed his lips against hers and held her torso with his hands making Iris moan in between kisses. The enegery between the two of them was so incredibly powerful that they were almost untouchable. None of their dreadful memories of their past mattered and none of their fears, anxieties or cruel words from others that were burned in their minds from the past mattered either. All that mattered was the indescribable heat of the moment. 

Iris thrust her torso forward to be closer to the heat of his own. They were all over eachother and even though Arthur didn't have much experience at all it didn't seem to matter with her. Even when they ended up backing into her dresser that didn't stop them. The room could be on fire and they still wouldn't stop even if that meant letting the flames consume them. 

Arthur attempted to pick her up much like what he's only seen in films, but even though Iris was not a heavy set woman she still outweighed Arthur and he only started to pick her up before he couldn't hold on. He felt so embarrassed, but Iris laughed playfully at him and she saw him smile slyly at her signaling that they should continue where they left off. 

Iris looked into Arthur's glowing green, bedroom eyes sinfully, undid the belt on his robe. Arthur felt nervous but he allowed her to remove the robe and, without him expecting it, she felt her soft, warm fingers wrap around his fully hard phallus making a soft moan exit his mouth.

Iris noticed for the first time that shy, timid Arthur Fleck has quite a sizable and perfectly thick manhood. She was in awe that he hadn't had more sexual experiences, even if they were only sex and nothing more and then it dawned on her that he may not even be fully aware how large he is and that thrilled her.

Arthur almost felt limp as her hand gripped it tighter and slowly moved her hand up and down. His eyes rolled back in his head and he did not even know that being intimate like this even felt so good. It was like a dream come true for him. He even thought to himself that he was very glad that he was not intoxicated this time, so that he could have the full beautiful experience for once in his lonely life. 

Iris stopped and looked at him with smoldering eyes and took his hand leading him to the bed. Even Iris touching his nether regions made him feel as though he was going to explode right there, but he's glad that he didn't so that he could keep his orgasm restrained for her body. The very second Iris sat on the edge of the bed Arthur had a brief moment of what felt like stage fright before he ravished her.

Iris laid down with her legs open for him and he bent down over her and started to deeply kiss her and grip her breasts. She wrapped her legs around his back pulling him closer to her, her body begging him to slide inside of her. 

Arthur was now on top of her on the edge of the bed kissing her chest as if he had been starving for intimacy for too long, which was true. He had not felt the real touch of a woman in years, but because of this he was very nervous that he would climax too quickly leaving her unsatisfied. Arthur was now sucking on one of her perky, firm nipples causing her to let out the most exquisite whimpers Arthur had ever heard in his life.

Flashes of the night he was fooled by his classmates and horribly humiliated entered his mind a few times almost making him want to stop, but when gripped his cock yet again they all vanished. Arthur was always a very quiet man so he found himself even trying to make his sounds of pleasure silent as well, but the more she moved her hand up and down he released a soft but pleasured moan. 

Iris adored the way he sounded as she gave him much deserved pleasure. She saw as his eyes roll back in his head and he rested his head on her chest and she absolutely loved it. Suddenly when she felt his hand caress her right arm and glide over her raised scars on her skin she turned her head away from him. 

Arthur didn't understand at first and was terrified he had done something wrong, but soon realized that she was ashamed of her scars, ashamed of her battle wounds. Arthur cared not about such things, but understood completely why she would feel shame. Her shame was not warranted, but he felt the same way about his body and his awful laughing outbursts, Iris did not care about any of that.

Arthur started to plant little kisses down hee right arm, carefully kissing her scars in a more specific and softer way. Iris felt she would cry, but before a single tear could ever fall from her face Athur's finger caught it and his glistening eyes stared passionately onto her thrilled yet frightened eyes and only seconds later they were enveloped in a series of warm kisses. Their tongues intertwined with eachother and their lips moved like a pair of very talented dancers...Every move just right...

Iris combed her fingers through his green tinted locks, every strand feeling like China silk in her hands. Arthur was kissing her chest as she continued to stroke his man hood. It felt so intoxicating that he could no longer smother his sounds of pure ecstasy and he moaned and felt limp. His sweet little moans were beautiful to Iris. 

Arthur soon had to stop her from touching his erection because he was afraid he might climax. Their eyes were intensely locked onto eachother in a way that was unbreakable. Iris saw him looking adorably bashful for a moment and kissed his forehead and said, "I'm ready for you Arthur...I'm more ready than I've ever been for anything in my entire life..."

When those words fully resonated in his often raging mind he smiled at her and said, "I'm so glad that you're real, Iris"

Iris smiled, kissed his slender neck and scooted back on the bed so that she was leaning her back against the pillows. She stared at him with eyes that glimmered with a beautiful desperation. Arthur saw the look on her face and it was as though her look was a lasso pulling him to her. He crawled to her and they were kissing passionately again. 

When he crawled over to Iris he looked like his timid Arthur side has taken a backseat and she could see some Joker come out to play and as demented as it may sound, she had some thoughts of him on the Murray Franklin show and the way his eyes seemed to flicker like a flame that could penetrate someone's soul and it made her want him even more. She thought of how he danced onto the stage and flicked his cigarette with a unbelievably sexy confidence. Her mind even dared to think of how he spoke with a wild intensity to Murray and how raw and passionately out of his mind he was. She simply could not help herself. 

Arthur suckled on her neck and Iris moaned and clawed at his back begging him to enter her finally. Her eyes widened instantly when she felt his incredibly hard phallus shoved into her much quicker than she expected and she could feel his great length almost completely inside of her. The way it felt to have his firm cock nearly all the way inside of her made her entire body quiver. She was on fire. 

It was as though Arthur became someone else as soon as he slipped inside of her and when he saw how she let her head fall back, cover her mouth to suppress a scream and was just glowing with satisfaction made him feel powerful. Her hands were over her head clawing into her headboard and she moaned as he thrusted in and out of her. She grabbed his hair, pulling him down to kiss her. 

Arthur's ribs were hurting, but he didn't care. He pressed his head onto her chest and was softly crying out in ecstasy as he continued to slide in and out of her. Iris was almost screaming as she felt his speed increase. 

Iris could not believe that the man she saw shoot and kill a talkshow host on television only two nights ago was now making love to her in her apartment. Having him inside of her felt sinful, but it also felt more right and meaningful than anything ever has in her entire life.

Iris and Arthur were staring at each other as they made love and Arthur leaned into her ear and breathed, "I love you"

Iris heard those 3 words and at that precise moment she let go. She held back no longer and screamed out his name wildly as her eyes rolled back in her head. As soon as she climaxed she almost felt like she was going to pass out and she saw stars and fireworks. It was a grand sensation that was poetically intoxicating. As she was gasping for air she took Arthur's face in both of her hands and breathed, "I love you too and I don't care if it's wrong...you're fucking beautiful"

Arthur took in the words she said with a bit of disbelief, but as he pressed his face into her neck and slid in her one more time he released himself inside of her. He cried out and whimpered as he was nuzzling her neck and she held his head in her arms as he came. 

"One for the money
And two for the show
I love you honey
How did you get that way?
You're screwed up and brilliant
And look like a million dollar man
So why's my heart broke?

"It isn't that hard boy
To like you or love you
I'd follow you down, down, down
You're unbelievable 
If you're going crazy just grab me and take me
I'd follow tou down, down, down
Anywhere, anywhere..."

Arthur felt as though he was in a dream as he rested his exhilarated body on top of her. He moved off of her and laid down on his back beside her. They both looked at eachother and said nothing, but their eyes said everything. He gazed upon her face with eyes that bled ecstatic beauty into her soul. He looked so, well, happy...

Arthur rested his head on her chest as she ran her fingers through his matted hair. She was so indescribably joyous to see him so jubilant. Even when she used to see him on the bus he looked as though a rain cloud hovered over his head at all times making him look so morose, pale and drawn. She used to notice too how he would gnaw at his already chewed up nails like a rodent chewing at it's own leg to break free from a trap, but this is the first time she's seen him glow.

He was absolutely radiant...

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End Chapter 20 🥀

Unison 

 

🥀

Chapter Text

Beautiful Chaos 🖤

 

Chapter 21: From Fear to Fascination 🥀

 

 

Iris thought he was odd and didn't want him around her on the bus, but she used to examine him at times and how he would press his head against the window staring blankly out at the city. It reminded her very much of a caged parrot with clipped wings that would stare longingly out a window watching other birds fly free and how the parrot would just watch helplessly as it plucked out it's own feathers. She didn't even really find him visually appealing but rather the opposite at first, but when she used watch him as he leaned his head against the window like he did she felt a strange sense of distant unison.

There was one day where she saw him on the bus and saw him keep sticking his hand in and out of his jacket pocket. He would slide his hand into his pocket as if he were grasping at something, but then remove his hand from his pocket again and nervously chew his nails. He would also look around occasionally and then stare out the window and repeat the same odd behavior. Iris made sure to look away if she saw him look anywhere near her direction. 

She saw how people would treat him as though he were diseased and didn't want his illness anywhere near them. There were even regulars that would call him names purposely causing him stress and anxiety to trigger his laughing. The day she saw him sticking his hand in and out of his pocket it was as though he was trying to be prepared for an attack. She even saw him giggle to himself occasionally as he did this repetitive ritual. 

Finally she caught a brief glimpse of what was hidden in his pocket. She saw what looked like revolver and she instantly felt a twinge of fear. She half expected it to be drugs or something to that nature, but no...

Arthur seemed very much like a little boy in so many ways when she used to watch him. She was afraid of him, but fascinated. It reminded her of how she used to be petrified of bugs or any arthropod for that matter, but something changed over time and that fear became fascination and later evolved into a love and respect. She found that the misunderstood were always the ones with the most beauty and the most fantastic energy. 

Besides the day she saw how horribly ill he was on the bus there was one other time that will be forever tattooed in her mind was one evening where he must have been having a bad day, but not like his common tragic disposition, he looked different this time. He looked sad as usual, but he kept look at what looked like a newspaper clipping with a man's picture on it. She couldn't make out who it was a picture of, but kept looking at it with lost and tearful eyes. He looked at it one more time with an out of place giggle which instantly stopped and became a melancholy sigh. 

Arthur stared at the picture one more time with tears that shimmered in his bright green eyes as the sun hit his face and he then stared out the window as if to suppress any sort of painful thoughts that the picture might evoke. She had never seen him look this broken before and she almost wanted to sit next to him and be a friend, but she was still frightened of him. The pain that was radiating off of him seeped into her heart with an explosive feeling of sheer empathy. She recognized that look of poetic torment painted upon his face and that is because she is infected with it as well...and it was terminal...

She felt her heart break as she saw him lower his head and choke back tears, gritting his teeth and his boney fingers squeeze the picture, crushing it. He kept the painful photograph crumpled in his trembling fist for a while until his knuckles were white. At that very moment as he squeezed the picture in his tightened fist he lowered his head further and his hair fell forward covering his eyes. He softly laughed and then would cover his mouth with his hand and release smothered cries. 

Iris watched as he silently cried and trembled, but she suddenly became stricken with fear when she saw his right hand reach into his pocket and somehow she knew...she knew what he was feeling. She knew not of his personal journey of anguish, but she knew the overwhelming feeling of wishing more than anything to stop these feelings. Sometimes when the feelings are just too relentless and the negative, demonic voices that seek to destroy you become too loud, the idea of ending all feelings for good sounds like the sweetest melody that has ever existed. 

Arthur kept moving in his seat as if holding still was not and option for his mind to allow. His hand would go in and out if his pocket and he pushed his bowed head into the window. The bus then stopped and a group of teenagers that she had seen a dozen times before got on the bus and as soon as they saw Arthur crumpled in his seat it was as though they spotted easy prey. 

One of them, a boy, sat in the seat in front of him and started to poke him saying, "Hey, what's wrong freak?" The young man then saw Arthur's precious pack of cigarettes and snatches it and began to taunt him. Iris felt her heart jump when she saw Arthur grasp his gun in his pocket again, but this time he did it with his left hand and just kept his head down. 

Arthur knew these awful kids because they have shouted at him and made fun of him before from the fire escape at his that he would walk by often. They would scream and even throw things at him and it has almost drove him to murder on several occasions, but he would always just walk with his head down, hoping they would leave him alone just this once.

Iris stood up and snatched the cigarettes from this evil boy and handed them back to Arthur who didn't even make eye contact. He just put them into his pocket and murmured, "Thanks" It seemed that this simple act of kindness was enough to quell his homicidal and suicidal urges, well, at least temporarily...

The other kids were cursing at her and still taunting Arthur, but he was so broken that he he did not react. The bus stopped again and Arthur practically ran off the bus. As much as Arthur felt invisible, Iris was the one that seemed to be invisible to him the times she saw him on the bus which was really what she wanted, but still he just seemed so lost and it made her sad. 

She watched him as the bus drove away. He instantly lit a cigarette with his quivering hands and then walked off with his hood up and his cigarette hanging from his lips. She was intrigued, but stayed away...until now. It was almost serendipitous that the same man that she saw crumpling like a marionette without its master was how resting his head on her chest where he could hear how her heart sang for him.

One other thing she noticed was how he stared at the window of the bus with such a deeply sad disposition, but when she saw him as Joker he had a sort of free and joyous insanity about him and the raw truth is she fucking loved it...

"This is our place, we make the rules
And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear
Have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years?

Can I go where you go?
Can we always be this close forever and ever?
And ah, take me out, and take me home
You're my lover"

Iris and Arthur sat up and reached for the cigarettes on her nightstand and laughed at eachother in a melodic unison. Iris grabbed the pack, took one out, placed it in her mouth and lifted the pack over her head and didn't let Arthur have them. He laughed and playfully tried snatch them from her, but his ribs were hurting so he had to stop. Iris fell back into reality when she saw Arthur cringe from the pain and she handed him a cigarette and kissed his forehead.

Iris took Arthur's hand and said, "Arthur you're supposed to do some deep breathing exercises otherwise you could get fluid built up which can cause pneumonia, so please make sure you do that every 2 hours or do okay?"

Arthur smiled at her and nodded his head. After he finished his cigarette she guided him with the breathing exercises and she could tell it hurt, but it was important. If he caught pneumonia she would have no choice but to take him to a hospital.

 

Arthur felt tired after doing the deep breathing and he rested his head on her warm chest. He felt sleepy and felt a headache coming on and he hoped it would go away. 

Arthur has had horrible migraines on and off since he was a teenager, but he hadn't had one in a while until a couple of nights ago and unfortunately when he did get them they were usually really bad so that's why he hoped and prayed it would go away especially after such a joyous experience with Iris. The accident with the ambulance and banging his head on the backseat window, knocking him out instantly didn't help either.

Iris saw his brow furrow in distress and asked him, "Arthur, are you alright?" 

Arthur nuzzled into her chest a little more to block out the sunlight. He grunted and said, "I'm fine"

Iris almost laughed, but instead pet his head gently and said, "You're a really bad liar, Arthur Fleck"

He grabbed a pillow from behind him, put it over his head and mumbled, "So are you" 

Iris laughed, but she really was concerned so she pinched his thigh and said, "Arthur, come on...talk to me please" 

Arthur started to mumble something, but then yawned instead. He sighed and said, "It's nothing, I just get bad migraines sometimes. I've had this issue since I was a teenager"

Iris squeezed his hand out of compassion and ran her nails gently up and down his back. She heard him sigh sleepily from beneath the pillow and it made her smile. As much as she understood that the poor guy was exhausted and wanted to sleep she also remembered what her friend Kelsey said about how moving around is important. With immense hesitation Iris leaned in close to him and said, "Arthur, I know you really want to sleep more, but I asked a friend of mine who's a nurse about fractured ribs etc. and one of the most important things she said was to stay active and not lay in bed all day, baby"

Arthur was wiped out, but didn't want to make Iris worry anymore than she already was, so he took the pillow off of his head and reluctantly agreed to get up. "Can I shower?" he asked as struggled to sit up.

"Only of you drink some water and promise to eat something after"

Arthur smirked at her, ran his fingers through his unkempt hair and said, "Sure" 

Iris glared at him, scanning his vague expression and said, "You better mean it, especially about the water. You threw up like twice yesterday and the night before and have no nourishment in you, Arthur" 

Arthur har no memory of their being a second embarrassing bout of puking and felt so rediculous. He looked at her with apologetic eyes and said to her, "I'm so sorry...I don't even remember that. I'm embarrassed"

Iris came from behind him, kissed his neck and responded with, "Stop apologizing Arthur. At least you didn't do it on the floor this time"

Iris joked trying to lighten the moment, but she could clearly see that Arthur was genuinely embarrassed so she nibbled his earlobe and said, "There's no need to be embarrassed, honey. You have been through a lot and haven't been feeling well"

Arthur got off the bed and smiled warmly at her. He knew she meant what she said and that she was not false like everyone else was in his life. Iris stood up and gifted him with the most humble smile he'd ever seen and said, "You're amazing Arthur, now go and shower. I put a clean towel in there for you okay?" 

Arthur nodded and then headed to her bathroom. Iris took a moment to take in the glorious thoughts of making love to this beautiful soul and then got up to get some clothes on and start her day. 

Once she was done changing she walked over to the mirror above her dresser and started to apply her makeup. As she ran her soft brush across her cheek to add some rouge to her smooth and milky complexion she looked at her reflection and saw that she was smiling without even realizing it. She overflowing with pure joy, but although this was a drastic and positive changed compared to how she normally felt she still had little voice of worry in the back of her mind speaking words of caution in her ear. She planted her palms onto the top of her dresser and looked down wishing these ominous feelings would leave her mind. 

Please just let me have this...please" She pleaded to the voice of warning that was now practically screaming in her head. She walked over to the radio that was on her nightstand to put something on to, perhaps, silence those haunting voices that seemed to be trying to suck the joy right out of her like mosquito. She switched on the radio and the news was on, but right when she was about to change the station to put music on she froze...

The voice on the radio, much like the voice that clawed at the back of her mind, spoke of the man she just finished giving her body and soul to. Most of it was about the show and how he was still at large, but...she also heard some things that she had no idea about. 

Apparently a past coworker of Arthur's named Randall was also murdered in a brutal and horrific way and her eyes widened when she heard that his mother was found dead in the hospital a few days ago. They were saying that she had a stroke and that was why she was there, but even though she may have just died from the stroke they were also stating that she died not too long after Arthur came to visit her. 

The cold stab of reality plunged directly into her heart and she crumpled to the floor and found herself wishing she never turned the radio on at all. She knew that the truth could only be avoided for so long, but she was so enthralled in her love affair with this unhinged man that she just had not even thought much about the unfortunate fact that as beautiful and unique of a soul Arthur possesses...he was not just quiet and endearing Arthur Fleck, but someone else that she had not yet seen. 

She quickly changed the station and with tears burning her eyes she stood up and walked back over to the mirror. The song that happend to be playing on the radio was "Smile" by Jimmy Durante, which was a much more upbeat version than the one she always listened to. She looked at her reflection in the mirror and saw the look in her eyes that seemed to speak volumes to her and she felt rage rise up inside of her. 

"Leave me alone! Let me have this!" She thought to herself in hope that her voice of reason would stop raining on her dangerous yet blissful parade. She wanted to just have this fantasy...she needed it. She needed a reason to get to get up in the morning, a reason to have a genuine smile, a reason to live and not just exist. As much as she has read and heard others say that she had to find peace and joy within herself and not need it from people, things, drinking and shopping etc. she always just wanted to grab and shake those people along with the words they spoke and scream right at them saying, "I can't! God knows I've tried, but I am in a cage that you will never comprehend in your simple mind!" but instead she puts on a smile and nodded her head like a good little girl.

Peace and serenity were never constant in her life and although she tried to grasp onto them like a life boat she always seemed to just sink. She would sink down low and the more pressure she put on herself to have this peace within or perfect joy the further down she would sink into a dark abyss. Playing with fire at least made her feel something and that was better than nothing at all like all these medications she's had shoved down her throat for years from vacant doctors that would never understand the true torment of mental illness. 

Iris turned her head and stared at her radio as if maybe it was speaking to her, as if the content of the song was telling her something. She always sang and listened to the Judy Garland version of "Smile" and that version was a slower pace and had a much more melancholy tone. The one that played on the radio now was much more upbeat. Even though it was upbeat sounding it still didn't change the truth within the lyrics...

"Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking 
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow 
Smile and maybe tomorrow 
You'll see the sun come shining through 
Light up your face with gladness 
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile what's the use of crying 
You'll find that life is still worth while
If you just...smile..."

 

Arthur was rinsing the conditioner out of his already sleek hair and enjoying the hot water as it warmed his body and watching some green still come out and circle the drain. All he could think about was...her. The more he thought about her the more he also thought about how wonderful she is and how although she loves him, he felt a deep seeded fear that she would get hurt. It almost felt like ever since he was rescued by Iris his life was in a sort of intermission in the middle of a tragic movie. He is wanted by the police, he's a murderer, he has a very short fuse and he just didn't know if he could keep his Joker side dormant forever. 

"You could break my heart in two
But when it heals it beats for you"

"I love her..." he whispered to himself, almost wanting to cry. His mind was racing and the more he contemplated on all the risks and dangers of someone like him being in a deep, passionate relationship the more he just wanted to grab hold of her hand and take her with him into his thrillingly chaotic world as is queen. He just wanted the touch of her flesh to his to go on forever and for her vibrant, kind eyes to never be absent from his treacherous life. Just as his mind began to wonder further into endless state of rumination he quickly turned around when he heard the shower curtain abruptly open. It was his lady, his light, his love, his Iris....

She said nothing, but stared into his eyes, her chest moving up and down fast as if she had just ran a mile. They said nothing to eachother and they didn't need to. "I don't care what my cluttered mind tells me, I want you, all of you, every day no matter what happens," Iris said and with those passionate words she quickly removed her clothing, that he had only moments ago just put on, and stepped into the shower with Arthur, pinned him against the wall and practically devoured him with her starving lips.

He could still tell that she was distressed in some way so they stopped kissing and he stared into her eyes and said, "You're okay, Iris...It's all okay"

Iris suddenly broke down and pressed her head against his chest and he held her and let her cry. As he held her he kissed her head and kept telling her it was all going to be okay even though he had no idea if it would, but his heart and hers seemed to have made their choice despite what their minds said. 

Iris finally stopped crying, but she knew that even she was crying for hours he would still hold her and never leave her side. When they held eachother it was as though they weren't even on earth, but somewhere better, somewhere made uniquely for them only.

"As I leave this Earth and sail into the infinite cosmo of the universe
The wars, the triumphs
The beauty, and the bloodshed
The ocean of human endeavor
It all grows quiet, insignificant
I'm nothing more
Than recycled stardust and borrowed energy
Born from a rock, spinning in the ether
I watch my life backwards and forwards and I feel free
Nothing is real
Love is everything
And I know nothing"

Arthur was everything in this moment, there nothing else and as Iris allowed him to hold her in a time of need she felt nothing else mattered. He warmed her like a blanket on a cold night and she never wanted to let go.

Iris was trapped in Arthur's deep, green and expressive eyes and as she was locked in his powerful gaze she could see...she could see everything...She could see years of suffering, but when his dark brows creased the skin in the middle of his forehead she saw something so sincere that it almost took her breath away. His eyes suddenly became bright and vibrant as he continued to look into her dark eyes and although she could clearly see pain and anguish painted in his eyes, she saw something different when he stared into her eyes. She saw a tragically beautiful soul, that had been caged his entire life come to life when his eyes met hers.

The eyes she saw in this perfect moment were not the same eyes she saw when he was staring blankly out of the bus window, no, they were full of life and illuminated by her essence. Their gaze could only stay for so long before they were engulfed in a kiss. The water on their bodies felt so warm and comforting, but the heat of their kiss was enough to burn an entire city to the ground. 

End Chapter 21: From Fear to Fascination 🥀

Chapter Text

Beautiful Chaos 

Chapter 22: Lips of Passion

 

Iris looked at him again with a kind disposition and said, "You know what's funny, a fucking police officer hit on me last night" 

Iris was laughing, but she quickly saw a change in Arthur's expression and her smile faded. "A police officer?" he asked sternly. 

"Yeah, don't worry baby he was just asking about some break ins that have been happening in the building" 

"Oh...ok", Arthur said, as he ran his finger through his drenched locks, took a deep breath and looked away. Arthur

looked very displeased and Iris was confused. Arthur turned to face her again and smiled at her, but it was not his usual soft smile, it was different, ominous. "We should get out" he said, as he shut off the water and stepped out and snatched his towel off the rack. When Iris got out he seemed to be avoiding looking at her and asked if she had an extra toothbrush. 

Iris wrapped her arms around him from behind and said, "Yes I do my love" 

Arthur didn't respond to her embrace and was very stoic. Iris let go of him and grabbed him her extra toothbrush. He wet it and put the toothpaste on it, still not uttering a single word.

Iris felt awkward so she kissed his neck and went back into the bedroom. She dried off with the towel she used earlier and got dressed. When she finished brushing her hair she began to fix her makeup again and finish applying the final touches. When Arthur walked in he saw that Iris just continues to put her makeup on and not acknowledge him. 

Although Arthur knew it was rediculous he still felt a stab of jealousy from hot blade of insecurity. He knew she was very attractive and had no idea why she would be into him in the slightest so he immediately felt possessive, but he knew he had to push those irrational feelings down. He sat on the bed, ran his fingers through his hair again nervously, sighed and said, "Iris...I'm sorry I acted strange. You're just so beautiful and you could have anyone you want, so I felt insecure about another man making a pass at you"

Iris finished putting on her deep maroon lipstick, turned to him and said, "I understand those feelings Arthur, but I have no interest in anyone but you and honestly, I almost never have interest in anyone because they either bore me or there's just no deep link, but you...you have brought me to life, Arthur and I need you to know that"

Iris walked over to him, sat down and while wrapping strands of his wet thick hair she said, "Arthur, there is no one else...only you"

Arthur felt bad for his attitude towards her over something so crazy. He looked at her with bright, innocent eyes and wrapped his arms around her tightly and spoke to her in a soft tone that was laced with his deep, gruff smoker's voice saying, "I'm sorry Iris"

The way he said those gentle words to her made her melt. She ran her fingers through his faded green hair and kissed his head. Iris had been so caught up in the moment that she had nearly forgotten about what she heard earlier on the news. She wished she could wipe it from her memory, but to no avail.

As her precious Arthur held her tightly and felt the soothing sensation of his thick, silken hair between her fingers and the way it had such a lovely mixture of green still with his true color on beneath some of the green that nearly matched his eyes. She couldn't shake what had pierced into her fantasy on her radio. She was silent for a while and Arthur asked her if something was wrong and he looked up at her with those adorable puppy dog eyes and she just wanted to squeeze him, but she simply had to ask him...

Iris almost couldn't bring herself to say anything while he was looking at her in such an endearing manner, but she looked away for a moment, sighed and said, "Arthur...the news was on the radio today and it was about you..." She stopped suddenly and felt anxious.

"And?" Arthur said as he kissed her neck, making it even harder for Iris to finish what she was saying. She choked back tears and finally released what was plaguing her mind...

"Arthur...they were saying...they were saying that you may have also murdered someone named Randall and...your own mother while she was in the hospital" 

Iris finally stopped averting her gaze and directly into his eyes, but now he was the one who looked away. Arthur simply could not lie to her...

"Yes...yes, it's true Iris...I can't lie to you"

Iris knew what he was, so she knew she shouldn't be surprised. She knew ever since she came to his rescue what he was, but she scooped him up, along with all his problems and murderous reputation, nonetheless. 

Arthur saw she looked very upset and she pushed him away from her with minor aggression. Arthur sighed and said to her, "Iris...you knew what I was didn't you? You saw me on the television and even though I know it may not justify what I did, Randell was a horrible blemish on society and my mother...my mother..." 

Arthur had to stop for a moment because he was starting to feel choked up at the very mention of his mother. Iris finally looked right at him with tears in her eyes and said, "Your mother, what?"

Arthur was trying to hide his tears from her, but Iris could see that he was very distressed and even though she knew what "right" thing to do was tell the police, but she wanted to hear what he had to say and actually listen to him and give him the chance to be heard for once in his life, without it being forced. A chance that most people in a lot of have pain have had to suppress until it would just boil over and cause irreparable damage. Arthur should have had that chance as a child and into his adult life and been able to grow as a person without toxic obstructions suffocating him almost to death.

Above all else, she didn't want to have to walk away from this passionate yet dangerous love affair with the man that held her very heart in his blood stained hands. Her mind took a backseat once again, so she stood, put her hand on his shoulder so that he would turn his beautiful face to look at her with those captivating, shimmering, green eyes. Her heart strings simply could not put a stop to the powerful melody that played for him...and it played for him alone and it was such an ecstatic sound, that it drowned out any of words of a warning that may be trying to knock at the entrance of her mind. 

Arthur didn't turn his head at first because he didn't want to Iris to see the intense pain in his eyes. "Tell me" she asked and with that Arthur looked back at her. Her eyes stared into his as if you tell him he could trust her and with hesitation he finally parted his lips and spoke.

"My mother is main reason I turned out this way, Iris and I know that must sound cliche, but it's true..."

Iris saw he was breathing heavier and seemed very distressed because of the subject matter so she brought him to sit down on the bed with her. "Arthur, you can tell me anything" 

Arthur felt her warm hand grasp his and it made him feel safe. "She was very mentally ill and abusive and a lot of the horrible things she put me through had been buried away in my mind for most of my life until very recently" Arthur had to stop again because of how much the subject of his mother seemed to cut into his heart so deeply that it made it hard to even speak. 

Iris squeezed his hand and said, "It's okay, take your time Arthur" Arthur gazed at her with troubled eyes full of tears and she could see that they were tears from many years of suffering that could fill an entire ocean. The depth of his sorrow was surely something that even herself could not fully comprehend. As she held Arthur's hand and placed it on her lap she saw him put the back of his other hand over his mouth in an attempt to barricade his anxious laughter from breaking through his quivering lips. He could only last for so long until a small, sorrowful giggle came up. Iris still held his hand and simply tried to comfort him the best to her ability. 

As Arthur's excruciating laughter increased he still kept putting his hand over his mouth in a feeble attempt to stop it even though he knew it would not suffice. The once forgotten memories of his childhood seemedto be rising up from depths that for too long have been smothered by to protect him. Very much like trying to bury a monstrous, hateful human being who was still alive, but for the safety of his mind had to be temporarily put to rest. 

Iris watched in pure agony as Arthur was now doubled over absolutely hysterical and laughing while also sobbing in between. Iris rubbed his back, feeling so helpless as she listened to his suffering and how painful it sounded as he gasped for air in between his insufferable bouts of laughter. She pressed her cheeks to his back and hummed a song softly, trying to calm him down. 

Arthur had tears practically pouring down his face and in a lot of pain from laughing. His ribs were on fire. As he felt the warmth if Iris' soft cheek against his back and heard her soothing voice humming his laughing started to gradually slow down and transition into a few brief cries. He would apologize in between sobs and Iris simply kissed his back and said, "You're okay baby, it's all okay"

Iris went to grab some tissues off of her nightstand and handed them to Arthur. He was still not facing in her direction, but he took the tissues and wiped his nose and face, but still would not turn around, but Iris just put her arms around him from behind and continued to hum softly to him. She was humming "My Funny Valentine" which was a special song to him since he was only a boy, untainted and still pure. 

Arthur's breathing began to steady as he focused on the pure sound of Iris' gentle voice that radiated through his anxious mind and body, enveloping him in a warming blanket of trust. She placed her hand on his again and this time allowed her to lace her fingers with his. He sniffled, had a few more short, distressed laughs until finally they finally came to a halt. 

As Arthur was finally catching his breath Iris was covering his back in soft kisses and he was, at last, ready to speak....

Arthur's voice was low and gruff sounding, but also so sad and innocent which was such a strange combination, but Iris understood completely. Arthur took a deep breath, wiped his nose again and said, "The things my mother did to me were unspeakable and the worst part...the worst part about it is that she was my world for years...I took care of her, but...she deceived me..." Arthur's voice broke and he unlaced his hand from Iris' and ran his fingers through his hair. 

Iris played with his hair and kissed the back of his neck and whispered, "Whatever she did to you, Arthur doesn't have to shackle you anymore.. I'm here..and as insane as most people would think I am...whatever you've done, god help me, I still love you" 

Arthur heard what she said to him, but his mind kept flashing to his memories with Sophie that had been fabricated by his battered brain and how it was too good to be true and hence it was not. Lonely was an understatement of how removed from other people and the joys most of them seemed to have, but the happiness he wanted above all...was the exquisite and blissful joy of sharing a true bond with a romantic partner. He used to be walking to the bus stop, heading to yet another day of ridicule, stress and exclusion at his job, and see people holding hands and being affectionate with eachother and his heart hurt because he knew it would never happen for someone like him. Although now it has happened he still is terrified of her lying to him or all of it being a sick joke. 

Finally, Arthur turned and faced her, with eyes that were glazed over and his lips parted and the words that had been hanging on them almost ever since her met her finally escaped. "Iris, I need you...please don't leave me"

Iris looked at him, now with tears in her eyes as well, and said nothing but gently gripped the hair on the back of his head and smothered all his fears and insecurities in a single kiss. When they stopped, Iris softly stroked his cheeks with the back of her hand and said, "Arthur, I will never leave you and now that I've found you I can't imagine a life without you" 

Arthur felt tears stream down his cheeks as he stared into her intensely, sincere eyes and he held her and put his head in her lap and finally allowed himself to release some of his pain and cried. Iris combed through his hair with her fingers and grasped his hand and said, "it's ok Arthur, you don't have to hide or pretend with me. There's no need to ever hide behind a mask when you are here with me..."

Arthur was not just crying, he was sobbing and squeezing her hand. Iris knew that whatever happened between him and his mother must have been horrific and she just wanted to comfort him. He needn't speak of her ever again if that is what he chose. She simply wanted him to know that he his loved and not alone. 

Iris found herself wondering if Arthur's life would have been completely different had she attempted to talk to him more on the bus instead of judge him and avoid him. She wished she had.

Arthur started to calm down as Iris stroked his hair and hummed softly for him. His ribs were really hurting and he wanted to ask her if she had something for the pain. He finally lifted his head from her lap, sat up, didn't utter a single word and just started kissing her. Iris felt a warmth in between her legs that she could never begin to describe and she instinctively stuck her hand underneath his towel and ventured in between his legs while they kissed. 

Their eyes were closed, absorbed in a perfect dream, and Arthur's eyes then widened when he felt the touch of her hand on his manhood so unexpectedly. Arthur still was not used to being touched this way, or at all for that matter so it may take time for him to not flinch when he is touched in a sexual manner, but Iris knew that. 

Iris kissed his forehead and softly assured him that he was safe and he closed his eyes as he felt the warmth of her breath on his face and he instantly relaxed. She asked him permission to continue touching him down below and he responded by pressing his face into her neck and sighed saying, "Absolutely" 

Iris smiled, kissed his head and asked him to lay on the bed as she gripped at his phallus which was now almost all the way hard. He couldn't even answer her because his words got lost in an exquisite moan. The way she touched him was pure poetry and the most incredible part was that she did not just touch him for empty lustful reasons, she touched his body in an indescribable way, almost the same way she touched his heart and soul and it was phenomenal. 

What Arthur was not aware of was that Iris' intention this time was not to have him inside her, but rather to have him deep inside a different part of her. Iris removed the towel that clinged to his boney hips and she got all the way onto the bed and took his hand as if he needed her to guide him into some unknown realm of ecstasy and unbridled passion that was unknown to him.

The look on her face made Arthur feel excited, but also awkward inside because of his lack of experience and that she looked too sexy and breathtaking and he felt he appeared the complete opposite. What he loved most was actually that she looked rather wicked, almost like a succubus that had an immense power over him and it aroused him even more. She looked hungry for him and he has never seen a look like that for him in the entirety of his existence.

Arthur went to climb on top of her and she stopped him, smiled and told him to lay on his back. "Sure, okay" Arthur said, already feeling stupid, as if he made an obvious mistake. When he got on his back, Iris looked at him again with flaming eyes and he watched as she did not get on top of him like he thought she was going to, but instead grasped his large erection. His eyes widened as he watched her lick it. Just the sensation on her tongue licking the base of his hard penis made him moan and drop his head onto the pillows. Even though it felt amazing, Arthur stopped her and said, "Iris...I-I-I've never had oral sex before"

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Arthur felt so embarrassed. He was trying to catch his breath, but he just could not believe that she was doing this for him. He almost wanted to lie to her, as not to look foolish, or look like less of a "Man" but he just could never lie to this glorious woman. Her tender lips on his erection was enough to make him release right then and there, but he didn't want to embarrass himself. He's 43 years old and she's 23, but yet she knows so much more of the beautiful pleasures of the sensual touch of the body. 

Arthur Fleck dreamed of moments like this, but all he mostly ever had was his left hand to pleasure himself, accompanied by his vivid imagination. This moment, though, was better than anything he ever imagined and could not believe that a gorgeous, young woman would even dream of putting her soft lips around his manhood. If he was dreaming, he hoped he would not wake up.

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Iris cocked her head to the side and said, "Oh baby, it's okay, you'll really like it I promise" Arthur was nervous, but it was mostly because he almost felt guilty, as if she didn't really want to or that nobody would want to for that matter...

Iris kissed his stomach and said, "Just lay back and relax, baby" 

Arthur was hesitant, but when she began drag her wet tongue across his shaft again he couldn't help but lay back. She gripped his unbelievably firm manhood and slowly wrapped her lips around his tip and slid further down and heard Arthur release a perfectly exquisite moan. When his tip hit the back of his throat he raised his arms behind his head and gripped the pillow tightly, as if it was just too pleasurable for him to handle. He had no idea what he had been missing out on his entire life and he couldn't believe this was happening when he was not blackout drunk, or at all for that matter.

Arthur tilted his head back with his eyes closed, his hands still gripping the pillow, mouth open, unable to control the sounds that exited it. Iris slid her mouth up and down slowly at first, but soon started to quicken her pace and Arthur tilted his head even further back as his eyes rolled to the back of his head and grabbed the pillow beside him and put it over his face to muffle uproarious sounds of ecstasy that poured out of his mouth. 

Arthur heard Iris gag a couple of times and when she did it again he took the pillow off his face and said,in between gasping, "Iris, are y-you alright?" 

Iris had to try very hard not to laugh at how adorable he was being, plus her mouth was occupied at the moment anyway, so she simply looked up at him with her large, brown, doe eyes and gave him a thumbs up. Arthur waited for a second to make sure she was okay, but only for a few seconds because her lips felt so amazing on his cock that he couldn't even stay sitting up. He raked his fingers in his hair as he felt himself draw closer and closer to bursting inside of his beautiful women's perfect mouth. 

Iris was now going even faster and her hand that was on his stomach could feel how it moved up and down and how his body quivered as she nearly sucked the life out of him. His toes curled, his body tightened and he felt as if he weren't even on this plane of existence. He put his hands over his face and he knew he could not hold it any longer...

Iris felt his firm penis hit the back of her throat one more time before she heard Arthur cry out loudly and his pelvis thrust forward a few times and Iris felt him release himself in her mouth. She loved it and Arthur could tell from the way she groaned and swallowed his entire load that burst out of him like water from a broken dam. 

Iris ran her fingers down his flat stomach as she released her warm mouth from his still hard penis and Arthur just laid there trying to catch his breath. He had his hands on the sides of his head trying to take in the unimaginable orgasm that she her sweet lips had gifted him with. He lifted his head and saw her looking at him with a devilish smile stretched across her face. 

Arthur suddenly felt a slight twinge of guilt, as if he had made her do something she had no desire to do. Iris licked her lips and gazed upon his face of disbelief with eyes that that glowed with satisfaction. She soon saw that he had a look of shame etched on his face and she cocked her head to one side, laid on her side next to him and asked, "What's wrong, honey?"

Arthur stared at the ceiling, giggled nervously and said, "I guess...I feel bad, like you did something you didn't want to do because pretty much no woman has done that for me or would ever want to for that matter"

His voice sounded hoarse and gruff and she loved the way it sounded. His voice clearly sounded like someone who has been a heavy smoker for years, but Iris found it to be rather endearing and sexy.

Iris twirled strands of his gorgeous, thick hair, playing with the green strands and twirling them together with some of the brown ones. She absolutely adored his hair the loved every curl and loved how his natural color intertwined with the vibrant Joker green, much like his personality. She kissed his nose and said to him, "Arthur, I wanted to. In fact, I've wanted to ever since I laid you on my couch that night and you told me I was pretty"

Arthur looked at her almost blushing and laughed because he had almost no memory of that night. He just couldn't believe such a beautiful and fascinating woman like her would want to do such a thing. "Actually..." she stopped and smiled coyly for a moment and Arthur became anxious, expecting her to utter words of regret or disgust. She stared right at him and said, "I had no idea you were so, well, big"

It took Arthur a moment to comprehend what she meant and once he did his pale face became flushed. He grabbed a cigarette from her nightstand, lit it and began to laugh. "I never really thought that" he said as he exhaled smoke from his nose and mouth. 

"God, he's fuckin' sexy" she thought, watching the way he could hold the cigarette so perfectly in between his lips. She just wanted to be all over him at all times and the fact that he didn't even think he deserved it made her desire him even more.

Arthur may be unaware of the fact that even though he thinks Iris is a beautiful goddess, she mirrored almost all of the same feelings he has about himself and that she is odd and undesirable. She was just as flattered that he deeply desires her as he is that she desires him. 

Arthur got lost in his head for a moment, smoking his cigarette intently and staring off into space. Iris snapped him out of his daze when she brought her face close to his ear and nibbled his earlobe. Arthur smiled and said, "Yes?"

Iris knew his mind was miles away and she also knew that with people like him that usually wasn't any sort of normal or healthy reflection, it was almost always rumination. She knew because she often did it too. Rumination was almost all Iris knew. Reflection was almost nonexistent to her and she could only assume it was for him too, so when she stared at him as he smoked and stared off at nothing with eyes blank eyes she knew he was stuck in a whirlwind of endless possible doom in his mind.

Iris smiled at him sweetly with soft, sincere eyes, kissed his neck and cooed softly in his ear, "Come back to me Arthur"

Arthur finished his cigarette, put it out on her ashtray, leaned in close to her face and kissed her lips. She closed her eyes and dug her fingers into his hair, taking in the warmth of this moment. When they released from their passionate kiss Arthur looked at her with the sweetest eyes she's ever seen, his dark brows curving in a way that made his brilliant green eyes glimmer with sincerity and said, "I adore you, Iris" 

Iris smiled, kissed him deeply again and their lips parted she said to him, "I adore you too, Arthur Fleck"

 

October 31st has come....🍾🍸🍺🍷🥃🤡👻🎃🤢🖤

 

End Chapter 22: Lips of Passion

 

"Love, is it real love? It's like smiling when the firing squad's against you
And you just stay lined up"

 

🥀