He thought he was okay. He thought that the monster inside had subsided. He thought that he was going to get out. Get home. But the monster inside him was still there. Lurking in the depths of his mind. Waiting to pounce. It watched his every move, felt his every emotion, waiting to take over, and attack. He was predictable. He grieved. He cried. He screamed as he walked. Walked and walked away from everything, away from the hell he had created for himself. Every so often he would crumble to the floor and cry. The monster would keep watching.
He didn't fully understand his emotions. After all, that was why he had Linda. He wished Linda were here to help him. No. He thought. No, she does not deserve Hell. The more he thought about his life on earth the more he broke down, the more the skin around his eyes went red as if he was transforming into his devil self. But he wasn't. He was hurting. He was hurting because his heart was broken. Not just for Chloe, but for his friends, the ones he had to leave behind. Linda, Maze, Amenadiel, Trixie. Although he would never admit it, that little creature meant so much to him.
He continued to cry.
He didn't understand. He didn't understand why he was feeling all these godawful emotions. He didn't understand how broken he felt. He didn't understand why part of him felt as though it was missing. All he knew was he needed to go back. Go home.
And then he did something that was truly unpredictable. Something even the monster in his head was shocked by. He smiled. He smiled in the way he had smiled when he found out Pierce could die. He smiled in the way he had smiled when he was hurting; when he was about to hurt someone else.
A murderous glint shined in his eye. The monster inside him was no longer watching, it began one with him, its move was his move. They were in sync.
Lucifer stood up, his heartfelt emotions vanishing and replaced by joy, by truly horrifying, psychotic joy. He felt the urge to kill. To let all the emotions he had shoved off out, once and for all so that he could return to the devil that he was. Be the evil monster he truly was.
He walked, quickly now, death in his eyes. Every demon he saw he killed. Squeezing the life out of every single one. Watching as the life drained out of their eyes and everything went black. He watched, almost laughing, enjoying it, well that's what he thought. But it was just him, doing what he always did, repressing his emotions, avoiding them by doing something stupid and reckless. But he didn't see it, the monster had taken over and he didn't care anymore, he let it. With every demon he obliterated from existence, the monster grew stronger. With every beautiful murder, the glint in his eyes shined brighter.
But of course, this would never last. This wasn't him.
It stopped when he was walking around, looking for more demons, and he walked past his cell. Once more he heard the piano play their, song. He froze where he was. Suddenly he heard a noise in his brain. It pierced through his ears nearly making him fall to the ground in pain. Hey. The voice said, echoing in his mind. I know this is crazy, but Amenadiel said angels could hear prayers. The voice chuckled. It was her. The murderous glint disappeared from his eyes and the emotion came flooding back. I just wanted to say that we all miss you, Trixie keeps asking when you'll be home. Here, with us. I- I just really miss you Lucifer. The monster inside him tried to ignore the prayer. It tried to suppress his emotions once more and kill, and torture. This is who you are. The monster raged. But Lucifer fought the monster, begging it to leave him alone. Begging it to leave him, forcing it out of his mind. He thought of Chloe, beautiful Chloe. He thought about everything he had lost and once again he broke and crumbled to the floor. I really want you to come home. Please come home. And then the piercing noise stopped. He didn't want it to stop. He wanted to hear her voice. He begged to hear her voice again.
He would hear her voice again.
This time would be different. He promised. This time he would go home, to the woman he loved.
"Hey," Chloe spoke. "I know this is crazy, but Amenadiel said angels could hear prayers." She chuckled sadly to herself. She wanted him here, not praying to him in her room alone in the dark, trying not to cry. "I just wanted to say that we all miss you, Trixie keeps asking when you'll be home. Here, with us." She smiled, thinking of all the times that Trixie had tried to hug Lucifer and he would be so alarmed and confused, but in his eyes was love. She knew he loved Trixie. A teardrop slid down her face. "I- I just really miss you Lucifer." She closed her eyes as more tears began to pool at her eyes. "I really want you to come home. Please come home." She whispered, tears streaking down her face and this time she didn't try to stop them. She missed him so badly. She missed how annoying he was and how often he made her laugh. She wanted him to come home. She could finally be with him, the man she loved so, so much.
"Mummy? Is everything okay?" Trixie said appearing at her the door to her mother's bedroom.
"Yeah monkey, everything's okay," She said wiping the tears from her face.
"I miss him too," The little child said hopping onto the bed her mother was sitting on.
"I know you do baby. I just wish he'd come back. And I know he went for a very good reason, to protect us, but I just really want him to come home."
"Me too, but he will right mummy?"
"I don't know monkey, I hope so."
"We should go get him!" Trixie said excitedly. "We could ask his brother Amena-something!"
"You know what baby? That's a really good idea. I'll go see him in the morning, but right now monkey, aren't you supposed to be in bed?" Chloe smiled picking her daughter up and carrying her back to her room as the child squealed playfully.
"Can you tell me a story mummy?" Trixie said when her mother had finally tucked her in.
"Hmm, what story where you thinking Trix?"
"I wanna know about Lucifer and Hell and- and the angels and stuff!" Trixie said smiling. "Please mummy?"
"I'll tell you what baby, when we get Lucifer back, I'm sure he can tell you all about it, okay?" Chloe said as a sorrowful smile appeared on her face as she thought about how much both she and Trixie missed that handsome devil.
"Okay mummy, goodnight!" The little girl said, never losing the precious smile on her face.
"Goodnight hun," Chloe said switching off her daughter's nightlight and leaving the room.
When Trixie thought her mother was out of earshot, she started whispering to herself, praying to Lucifer. "Lucifer, I really miss you and me and mummy want you to come home. You made her really sad because you left and I don't like mummy being sad. I'm also sad. Please come back so that me and Maze can kick your butt!" The girl giggled.
Chloe, who had been standing outside, cried. She had a smile on her face but tears just wouldn't stop running from her eyes. She missed him so bloody much.