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How Eren Yeager Got Away With Murder

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“Fuck, Eren. What have you done?”


Ignoring the words echoing around the room, Eren tried to focus. His chest was killing him from the earlier blow. They were probably fractured, but it didn’t feel too serious. What concerned him more was the blood dripping down his hand, running over his fingers and then down the knife clutched between them.


On the floor, lifeless eyes stared back up at him.




Then. Nine Weeks Ago


“Eren? Eren!”


Startled, Eren flinched back in his car seat, remembering where he was. The heavy bustle of people around them on the street signalled that they’d arrived at their destination; the Trost University student housing block. Unfortunately, they were late, and Eren had hoped to beat the mass of students moving in that weekend before classes started on the Monday, but things hadn’t worked out as planned. After being delayed a full day, thanks to one of his father’s patients having a medical emergency, the journey the following from Shiganshina had been even longer than they’d anticipated, further holding them back.


Which was why Eren, along with the rest of his family, were only arriving at Trost on the Sunday night, with his first class scheduled for the Monday morning.


“Come on, smile!” His mother cheered, as she switched off the ignition and began to climb out of the driver’s seat. Beside her, Eren’s father remained still, as quiet as he’d been on the majority of the trip there, eyes trained down on the documents in front of him.


“You never tell Mikasa to smile more,” Eren grumbled, but was already wincing a little, before sending an apologetic glance to his sister as they climbed out of the care. Carla Yeager was laughing it off, but Eren could see the sharpness in her eyes when she looked at him, letting him know his comment had been out of line. It was obvious it’d been, what with Mikasa had been through before being adopted by his parents.


But Mikasa smiled softly at him. “Come on, let’s get our stuff out.” Of course she wouldn’t hold it against him, and it gave Eren a reason for an honest, genuine grin back as he helped her with the trunk of the car.


Even with both him and Mikasa attending Trost University, they hadn’t brought too much stuff with them, which made unloading it all the easier. His mother helped them, despite Eren shooing her away, what with her bad back and all.


“For god’s sake, Grisha,” Carla chastised, when Eren’s father still stayed in the car. “Get your head out of your notes for one second and come help your children unpack!”


Eren could understand why his father had been so busy, but it still stung a little. There’d been a recent outbreak of flu cases back home, and with the Yeager clinic being overrun with patients as of late, his dad had been hard at work, almost non-stop. The only way he’d been able to make time to see Eren and Mikasa off was to bring his work with him, namely patient files that he’d been pouring over for the majority of the trip, searching for patterns in the outbreak while other doctors worked busily back in Shiganshina.


Still, Grisha ended up getting out to help them, and by the time they had Eren’s stuff sorted out from Mikasa’s, the crowd of students moving in around them had thinned out a little.


“I’ll help you with your stuff, okay Mikasa?” Carla said, already bending down to grab a few bags in spite of the protests around her. “You help Eren, Grisha, and we’ll meet back here once they’re both moved in.”


In the end, Mikasa carried most of her things, and when the two women left for the all-female building Mikasa had been assigned to, Eren turned to his dad. Grisha Yeager’s fingers were twitching, and although he was already reaching down for Eren’s bags, he kept turning back to glance at the car.


Sighing, Eren placed a hand on his shoulder. “I’ve got this, Dad. Why don’t you get back to your work, and I’ll come find you when I’m done.”


“Eren, you’re my son. I’m perfectly capable of-”


“I know,” Eren interrupted, and he meant it. Although he and his father’s relationship was strained at times, especially as of late, he knew that the man cared for him, loved him. “But your work is important. You gotta beat that bug before too many people get sick.”


Which was how, five minutes later, Eren found himself juggling his bags as he walked across the university campus to his dormitory building. The bags weren’t overly heavy, apart from the one filled with his textbooks, but it was definitely a struggle to carry them all at once. Regretting the decision to park so far away from his building in comparison to Mikasa’s, Eren groaned as he rounded a corner to see his building, even further away than he’d anticipated.


A few steps later, Eren stumbled on a slippery patch of pavement, and swore softly as he almost toppled over, only to be saved by a long, strong arm.


“Are you okay?”


Blushing a little at the embarrassment of almost falling over his own feet, Eren turned to face his saviour, only to flush further. Because the man (and fuck, was he a man) was hot as hell, towering over him with a concerned expression. He had blonde hair that was cropped short, and azure eyes that were framed with the most intense eyebrows that had Eren’s heart racing. The guy looked a fair few years older than Eren, so probably wasn’t a student, but goddamn could Eren see some muscles through that white collared shirt.


Realising that he was staring at the man in stunned silence, Eren blinked and tried to get rid of his deer-in-the-headlights expression.


“Um, yes. Thanks so much for catching me, dude.”


Ugh, dude. What was wrong with him?


God, if Mikasa could see him now. While his sister was usually composed and reserved, one thing that would always have her smiling would be how Eren tripped over his own tongue when talking to guys. Even after the experiences he’d had, Eren had never quite mastered the art of it, to the point that even he would laugh at his own words.


What made it worse was that Eren was by no means a virgin, or innocent.


It had started in high school, back in Shiganshina, where Eren had always preferred to blend in with the crowd. He’d never really dated anyone, with no friends or family knowing that he was into guys. Sure, he’d watched a lot of porn, but had never had the courage to act on any crushes he’d had. And there had been quite a few, from the jocks passing by him in the halls to that one quiet nerd in his class that Eren had been weirdly into. He had never acted on anything, of course, not wanting to risk outing himself, and he sat back, convinced that there was no way any of the guys he liked could possibly be gay.


But one day, Eren had heard two girls talking about how Samuel Linke-Jackson on the football team had apparently gotten drunk at a party and accidently outed himself.


Eren had blown Sam that afternoon in the locker room.


It had been a rushed job, and to this day Eren looked back on the whole thing and internally cringed, just as everyone probably did when thinking about their first sexual experience. They’d both been terrified of getting caught, all rushed hands and clumsiness as they tried to get off as soon as possible. Eren had gagged and spluttered on his cock, and not in the hot way, having to pull off every now and then to cough or regain his breath. But Sam had liked it, and had ended up cumming down Eren’s throat, and that was all that really mattered in the end.


It hadn’t ended there. While Eren and Sam had never become a ‘thing’ for one reason or another, the other teen ended up introducing him to a friend of his, Thomas Wagner. Which was how Eren had gotten his first, and only, boyfriend, for all of five months. It’d been exciting, even if they hadn’t had anything in common apart from the fact they were both into guys. They’d go out sometimes, mostly to that one seedy gay bar that didn’t check ID’s all too carefully. But more often than not, the time he spent with Thomas would consist of their hands down each other’s pants, preferring to have sex than to actually bond over anything.


It was clearly not the foundation for a good relationship and well… it hadn’t ended well.


But in the time they’d been going strong, it hadn’t taken long for Mikasa to learn of what he’d been up to. With them living under the same roof, the late nights and hickeys Eren often hid from his parents quickly became evident to her. They were best friends and adopted siblings, so of course she wouldn’t care that he was into guys. They’d never had a deep discussion about it, but at the same time it wasn’t taboo either, which suited Eren just fine. It wasn’t a big deal that he was gay, and the fact that Mikasa thought so as well made him happier beyond anything.


The only other person that knew about Eren being into guys was their other friend, Armin. The guy was Eren’s oldest friend, from when they were kids and even before Mikasa had become part of his family. The three of them had been close, and so it had been bittersweet when Armin had been accepted into a prestigious law degree in Orvud, even further away from Shiganshina than Trost was.


Armin was a genius, plain and simple, and so of course Eren had encouraged him to accept the offer. Even if it had cut him deep to be separated from him. Still, they’d stay in contact of course, and for now Mikasa would be enough support for Eren. She’d moved to Trost solely because he’d wanted to, and had decided to study as an English major. She liked reading, and talking about books, but apart from that, Eren was pretty sure she’d chosen it to stay close to him.


Still, he was glad she wasn’t here to see this embarrassing effort.


But the blonde man just smiled again, kind and knowing. “I’m assuming you’re moving in today? Do you need any help carrying your bags?”


Fuck, his voice was just as sexy as he was. Deep and rich, washing over Eren like warm chocolate. For a second, Eren briefly fantasised about what the man would sound like in the bedroom, before switching his focus back to the situation at hand.


“That would be great, thanks so much!” Eren grinned, trying and failing not to sound too excited.


The older man took most of his stuff, despite Eren protesting that he could manage some. Fighting back the hopeful thought that his actions might’ve been motivated by more than just common kindness, Eren lead the way to his building.


“I hope I’m not taking too much time out of your evening,” he mentioned as they walked, more to break the silence than anything.


“Not at all,” the blonde replied, “I was just on my way home, so this is nothing. Might I ask your name, young man?”


Young man. Ouch, that didn’t bode well for his chances.


“Um, Eren.”


The older man’s eyes twinkled. “Nice to meet you Eren. I’m Erwin.”


Surprisingly, they spent the rest of the walk to Eren’s building in comfortable conversation. When asked, Eren told Erwin about how he was a science major, but refrained from going into too much detail about the details of what that meant. Of how his father had wanted desperately for Eren to follow on his footsteps and work at the Yeager clinic, but Eren hadn’t been able to get the exam marks needed for a medical course. Of how that, in addition to his older brother, Zeke, dropping out of medical school to elope with his girlfriend, had put even more pressure on Eren to excel at Trost and later transfer to study to become a doctor.


Eren didn’t even know if he wanted to be a doctor, but he wasn’t going to dump all of that on Erwin.


“I have a passion for science,” Eren said instead, because that at least was true. “I just don’t know what I want to do with it yet.”


“You’ll get there, Eren, I’m sure. I can already tell that you’re an intelligent young man. Whatever you put your mind to, you’ll be able to achieve it.”


And fuck, Eren as blushing again, because all he wanted to put his mind towards right now was getting Erwin to follow him into his dorm for some ‘college orientation.’ If he had to guess, the man was probably in his early 30’s, and unless Eren had become even more delusional than usual, there was definitely something there.


But he stayed silent with his hopes, and by the time they got to the front door to his building, Erwin as already passing the bags he’d been carrying back to Eren.


“I wish you the best, Eren. I’m sure I’ll be seeing you around at some point in time.”


Damn, Eren had really hoped there’d be more than that. But his hopes had been unrealistic at best, so he fought down his frown and instead smiled gratefully at the older man.


“Thanks again for your help, Erwin,” he replied, “you really didn’t have to.”


“Of course I did,” Erwin stated simply and fuck, Eren was gone.




By the time Eren finally said goodbye to Erwin, after many more thank-you’s and the hope of running into him again, he quickly popped up to his room to dump his stuff. His mom and Mikasa were probably done by now, so Eren only took a small time to survey his room on the way in.


It wasn’t big, but still enough to be liveable. He’d known that he’d have a roommate, but aside from one of the beds having several bags already dumped on it, the room was deserted. Eren quickly shuffled over to what was clearly his bed, noting how the nameless roommate had clearly picked the better side of the room.


Ignoring the fact that if Eren had been in the same situation he would’ve done the exact same thing, he grumpily put his stuff away on the other side of the room, before glancing around. Thankfully, his parents had decided to pay for both him and Mikasa to have private bathrooms, meaning that aside from their roommates, they wouldn’t have to share with anyone else.


After that, he hurried back to the care, where the rest of his family were waiting for him. It was a tearful farewell, mostly from his mom at least, but Eren had also been blinking away the moisture from his eyes as he said goodbye. This was his first time living away from his parents, not to mention his hometown, and to say the least, he was scared. But he held a brave face for them, putting an arm around Mikasa as they waved them off, staying with her until the car was gone on the horizon.


“Try not to get into too much trouble before tomorrow,” Mikasa had quipped as they parted way afterward.


Eren just flipped her off, but they were both smiling as they went back to their respective dorms. It was already quire late, but they’d had dinner on the way into Trost, meaning Eren could get back to his room to finally relax.


When he did get back to his dorm, it wasn’t empty.


“Are you the dickwad who used my soap?”


Eren paused, the greeting he’d been about to start with already dying on his lips. Because what the fuck, who was this guy?


The man in question, who was clearly his roommate, was glaring at him from where he stood in the doorway to the bathroom, a bottle of liquid soap in his hands. Which, now that he did mention it, Eren had used to briefly to wash his hands, because it had been next to the sink.


“Um, hi?” Eren replied, arching an eyebrow. “And yeah, sorry. I thought it was supplied by the college.” In the guy’s defence, it was clearly a very expensive soap, but Eren had had other things on his mind back then, namely getting back in time to see his parents off. The guy clearly oozed money, and was probably from one of the bigger cities, like Orvud or Stohess.


Instead of shrugging it off, the other man rolled his eyes, grunting as he turned to walk back into the bathroom. Fucking hell, he was a piece of work, and Eren was already cursing his luck because of course he got stuck with this shit of a roommate. The guy was reasonably attractive, with shaggy hair and a long face. He seemed to be a fair bit taller than Eren as well, which at this point was becoming the story of his life.


A few minutes later, as Eren was unpacking his clothes into what he gathered was his wardrobe, the guy walked back into the room again. He didn’t acknowledge Eren, instead padding over to his own bed, still seemingly angry as he rifled through his stuff.


After several minutes of awkward silence, during which Eren had texted Mikasa as to how much his life sucked right now, the guy spoke up again.


“So what’s your name, then?”




Still, Eren did his best to put on a kind face as he glanced back up. “I’m Eren. Yeager. Nice to meet you.”


“Whatever,” the guy replied, still scowling, “I’m Jean. Try not to piss me off any more than you already have, okay?”


Yeah okay. Eren fucking hated this guy and his fucking horseface.




Jean didn’t talk to him for the rest of the night, and the next morning was gone by the time Eren had gotten out of bed. Which squandered Eren’s plan to make nice with him over breakfast after a night’s sleep, so he started the day off in a slightly bad mood. Even the fact that Jean was gone that early was crazy, because Eren had a 9am lecture, and so was up even before then.


Still, he blearily wandered down to the communal cafeteria alone, quickly shovelling down a bowl of cereal and some coffee before leaving for class. He’d decided to do a history elective in addition to his science subjects, which because he hadn’t selected a specific major yet, gave him a relatively sparse timetable. With the lecture being the only class that day for him, Eren really had no excuse not to go, so tiredly made his way across campus.


He only got lost once, but by the time he arrived the lecturer still hadn’t arrived. Eren immediately went to sit in the middle of the theatre, not wanting to be right at the front but also knew if he was in the back he’d likely slack off.


Happy that he’d managed to make it okay to his first class, Eren felt his grumpy mood begin to lift. At least something was going right for him now.


Of course, it was then that life would have another thing coming for him.


“Good morning class,” a deep voice announced from behind him, as the lecturer entered the room. And although Eren had immediately placed it, his hair feeling like it was standing on end, the next words confirmed his fear. “I’m professor Erwin Smith, and I’ll be taking this subject for the semester.”


Yeah, he was screwed.




When Eren made it back to his dorm after class and grabbing lunch, he’d all but fallen onto his bed in mental exhaustion. Because well… fuck. He’d spent the majority of the lecture in stunned silence, thankful that it was only an introductory class and so too much had actually happened beyond going through the syllabus. He’d managed to take a few notes, but every time he tried to concentrate, Erwin’s voice would always remind him of exactly who it was doing the teaching.


What had Eren been thinking, not even asking Erwin yesterday what he did? He’d assumed that the man was merely a TA or senior student, because what college professor would help carry a students bags? They’d spent the whole interaction talking about Eren, with Erwin dodging most attempts to ask about him. And right there should’ve been a red flag, but Eren had been so head over heels that he’d barely noticed.


Shit, he was sooo fucked.


Erwin had definitely noticed Eren’s presence, judging by the few times his eyes had landed on him. To the older man’s credit, there’d been no visible reaction the first time he’d seen Eren, beyond a slight pause in his words, which was natural enough that the rest of the class wouldn’t have noticed. His expression had been calm and composed the entire time, a mask to stop anyone from knowing what he was really thinking. But to Eren, that just made him even hotter.


Of course, Eren had done the only sensible thing and hightailed it out of there the moment the lecture finished. He wasn’t proud of it, but the moment Erwin had winded down his class, the panic of potentially talking to him had rushed up on Eren and yeah, he needed to leave.


Thankfully, his asshole of a roommate wasn’t around when he got back, so Eren immediately started to undress.


Jean had his timetable stapled to the wall above his desk, so after double-checking that he wouldn’t be back till much later that afternoon, Eren finished stripping off completely.


Fully naked, he didn’t hesitate to flop onto his bed, lying back as he reached down to stroke his already hard cock. He closed his eyes, imagining that it was Erwin holding him, his long, thick fingers dancing over his shaft. Just the thought alone made Eren groan, and he sped his hand up as he jacked himself off. Opening his eyes again, Eren looked down at his body, the way his abs rippled as he moved, how his fingers gripped his cock. He knew he had a nice dick, thick and a little above average in length, enough to satisfy anyone but not too big to make things impossible.


By all accounts, he knew he was a catch. Yet he never knew how to handle himself around men, too nervous and anxious in every interaction. He wasn’t completely pathetic, after all, Samuel and Thomas were reminders of his success, but it seemed that more often than not, Eren’s attitude would be his downfall. The case of Thomas had been… excessive, and was something that Eren definitely regretted.


He was doing better now, at least. But it was still a dark patch in his life.


And now, with Erwin on his mind, Eren felt even worse, the mistake of jacking off to his college professor that was officially unattainable. His hand stuttered, and Eren stopped entirely, just staring down at the run of dark hair on his naval as he thought his life over. The best choice of action would be to stop any further thoughts of Erwin (Professor Smith, he reminded himself) before he got too attached. If he could nip the attraction in the bud, before it grew into something more, then perhaps he’d have a chance at not becoming a complete mess.


Already, Eren knew that wasn’t going to happen.


Noticing that he was no longer as hard as he had been, Eren shook his head, before reaching for his phone. Shoving the complicated thoughts out of his head, he instead focused on the most pressing matter, which right now was his libido. Rubbing his cock to get himself going again, Eren quickly tapped in the first porn site that came to mind, before choosing a video that stood out to him. The fact that it was of a larger blonde man and a smaller dark-haired man was something he’d ignore for now.


The similarities ended there, but Eren still felt himself grow hard again as he watched the brunette on screen blow the blonde. He lightly stroked his cock again, his breath hitching as the video went on, and the guy began to deepthroat the cock in his mouth. Eren sped up his pace, watching the scene all the while, and it wasn’t long until he was stifling a groan as he came, thick ropes of seed splashing over his abs and chest.


Eren’s hand shakily slowed down, as his sensitive cock gradually began to soften. After a short moment of just lying there, Eren threw his phone to the side and got up to walk to the bathroom. As he reached the wide mirror above the sink, he paused, surveying himself.


He knew he was good looking, objectively at least. He’d gotten good genes from his parents, and Thomas and everyone else that had been interested in him had made sure to let him know that. He’d gotten more muscular since finishing high school, not overly so, but enough that the bulk in his shoulders and pecs still seemed alien to him. He was shorter than most, but Eren was okay with that, and knew that if it came down to looks, he was in pretty good hands.


But as he glanced over the drying cum on his stomach, Eren couldn’t help but feel disheartened, because he felt empty inside. He knew he was missing out on something, that everyday spark of life that had eluded him for so long. For ages, he’d assumed that it was because he’d kept his sexuality bottled up form everyone, and that now that he was at university, he could finally live true to himself.


Yet here he was on his first day in, with his roommate hating him and his only other meaningful interaction being with a fucking lecturer. No matter what he did, he was disappointing someone, and the thought ate him up on the inside.


Fuck, he was such a whiny bitch. Eren had a fucking good life. He knew that. And so he shook his head, clearing any negativity from his thoughts as he stepped into the shower.


It wasn’t until hours later, when Jean got back, that things finally began to turn around.


In the time after getting out of the shower, Eren had busied himself with preparing for his first chemistry class the next day. It’d been while rearranging his stuff around that he’d noticed a flier tucked under a book on Jean’s desk, and after debating the morality of the situation, had decided to take a peek.


What he’d seen had given him food for thought, so when Jean got back, he was ready.


“Are you thinking of joining the GSA then?”


Jean flinched back like he’d been shot, and Eren winced a little even if he knew it was the right way to go about it. He’d been surprised to see the flier for the Trost Gay-Straight alliance on his desk, but after thinking about it, Eren had come to the conclusion that it was the best thing he could’ve hoped for. Between lounging around the room that afternoon, he’d spent most of his time working out the best way to broach the subject with Jean, which clearly wasn’t going the way he’d planned.


Unfortunately, Jean got defensive, very quickly.


“Looking through people’s stuff now, are you?” He growled, looking furious. But Eren could see the terror behind his glare, and immediately put his hands up in a surrender motion.


“Hey, hey,” he began, “I noticed it while setting up my stuff. It’s not my fault you spread your shit out over both of our desks.”


“Yeah, well…” Jean faltered, clearly not sure what to respond with. He deflated, and immediately Eren’s heart went out to him, because he could see a lot of himself in the guy. They clearly both had issues with handling their emotions, even if Eren was doing a better job at it then Jean. Not to mention the other glaring elephant in the room.


From the start, Eren had planned on being open with others about his sexuality, now that he was out of Shiganshina. He’d grown up in a relatively isolate town, and so apart from Sam and Thomas and a few others he’d met out at clubs, there hadn’t been very many gay people. Even less that were out and proud. But with Trost, somewhere much more urban, Eren had hoped that he’d be able to live the life he’d wanted to.


Of course, hypothetically talking about it was much easier than the moment right now.


Jean looked like he was torn between throwing himself out the window and attacking Eren right then and there, so Eren steeled himself. It was now or never.


“If you have a problem with me, Yeager, then say it right now. I’ll knock you on your ass clean and-”


“I’m gay too.”


Jean’s false bravado was cut off, and for a few awkward seconds he stared at Eren in silence. Eren swallowed, not really sure what to say to the guy. Mikasa and Armin had reacted with overwhelming positivity, and while Jean clearly played for the same team as him, the guy had been nothing short of rude for the full day they’d known each other.


Whatever Eren had been expecting, it wasn’t for Jean to start pissing himself laughing.


“Fucking hell, I’m going to be stuck with you, aren’t I.”


To say the next few minutes were odd would be the understatement of the year, because for some reason Jean decided to actually be somewhat civil to him. Sure, he still reeked of the smarmy, rich boy that Eren had pegged him for the previous night. But Eren could also see, now at least, that the guy was insecure as fuck, and at least half of his dickhead attitude was in protection of himself.


It reminded Eren of himself, back in high school. When he’d been the one to combat weakness with anger.


“I’m not gay, you know.” Jean had said, later that night. When Eren looked up in alarm, the other guy chuckled. “Well, not completely. I’m into guys, but also girls as well. I wanted to check out the GSA because, well, I’ve never really explored that side of myself before.”


Eren nodded, understanding. He could just picture Jean, growing up with all the privilege in the world, more than happy to conform to the part of himself that society wanted. If anything, it made Eren like him more for wanting to break the mould, even though he’d never admit it to the asshole. When he was silent, the moment he’d been hoping for finally came along.


“Um. Do you want to come with me? The introductory meeting for freshman is tomorrow afternoon.”


And yeah, Eren did. With one stipulation, though.


“Can I bring someone?”




“I think this is really good, Eren. I’m so glad you’re doing this.”


Mikasa’s words made Eren flush, especially because Jean was standing right there. God, whatever cool points he’d earnt in the guy’s book were surely down the drain by now, even if only because of the way Mikasa was doting on him. Sure, he wouldn’t have it any other way, and the amount she cared for him meant the world to him, but sometimes when they were with other people, well… it was just embarrassing.


The three of them were stood outside the room that had been listed on the flier. Eren had breezed through his chemistry classes that day, both because he was legitimately passionate about the subject, and due to the anticipation for that afternoon. But right now, he was nervous as hell, and judging by the way Jean was shuffling on his feet, the other man was in the same boat.


When neither Jean or Eren replied to Mikasa, she frowned.


“You two are quiet.”


“I’m fine,” they both mumbled back, almost at exactly the same time.


Eren was relieved to see that Jean’s shitty attitude towards him hadn’t extended to Mikasa, where the guy had been almost too polite. Between complimenting her hair and asking her questions on the way over, it was clear he had a tiny crush on her, which was something Eren didn’t know how to feel about. Jean had been happy to hear that not only was Mikasa Eren’s sister, but that she also made up the ‘S’ portion of the GSA. Still, it was just a puppy crush, and Eren knew that at the moment, it was harmless.


Mikasa was clearly indifferent towards him, something which Eren took to mean that she didn’t feel the same way, and this was certainly not the first time a guy had been interested in her.


There were a few other people milling about the halls, and although Eren had been tempted to go up and introduce himself, Jean had held him back. It was clear that the other man was still insecure about himself, and without knowing whether the random people around were joining the GSA or not, Eren could understand.


Still, he was a little disappointed. The guy and the girl across the hall that were throwing popcorn into each other’s mouths looked really fun.


Eventually, the door to the room opened, and a girl that looked a few years older than Eren walked out. She was a brunette with glasses, and already she was smiling so widely that Eren felt weirdly worried.


“Are you guys here for the GSA? Come on in!”


Jean flushed and looked away, but Mikasa strode on in, grabbing Eren’s hand to tug him behind her. Without waiting to see whether their companion was following them, Mikasa practically dragged Eren to one of the empty tables. The room was mostly empty, except for a few people milling about in the back, as well as a pair of girls cuddling on the loveseat in the corner. The room itself was colourful and welcoming, with dozens of sofas littered about for people to hang out on, as well as tables set up with snacks for whoever was attending.


Thankfully, Jean clearly mustered up the courage to enter, and was already taking a seat beside Mikasa when a loud shout boomed from behind them.


“Ohmygod, Wedges!”


Eren jumped a little in alarm, as a young brunette girl all but ran to one of the empty tables, before practically shoving her face into a bowl of potato wedges that had been placed there. A short guy with a buzzcut joined her a few seconds later, and Eren realised that it was the pair that had been throwing the popcorn around in the hallway earlier.


The guy at least had the decency to look sheepish, as he took a few hot wedges. The girl, on the other hand, was lost to the bowl.


A few more people slowly milled into the room, some of them as shy as Jean, but most looked like they weren’t strangers to the place. As the room filled up to about twenty or so people, the girl with glasses from earlier walked to the front of the room.


“Hi everyone!” She shouted, the genuine enthusiasm evident in her voice. “I’m so excited to see so many new faces around, as well as some familiar ones. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Hanji Zoë, the president of Trost University’s Gay-Straight Alliance!”


“So, the first thing I want to make clear to everyone is that this is a safe place, first and foremost. I know all of you will have vastly different backgrounds to each other, and so know that beyond anything else, we are a family here. You can share as much as you want, or if you just want to observe that’s fine too. Also, this is a safe space for anyone, not just members of the LGBT+ community.”


Hanji kept talking, and although Eren did listen, he also surveyed the room. It was clear that most of the new freshman were the ones around the tables at the front, while a lot of people that had been there before stayed at the back. The two girls on the couch were still cuddling, with the taller brunette whispering something into the blonde’s ear that made her giggle under her breath. There were a lot of guys, too, and despite himself Eren’s heart began to race a little, both at the thought of being honest with so many people, and also at the collective hotness of everyone around him.


If he couldn’t get a guy from this group, then surely all hope was lost, right?


As Hanji explained the rules of the club, Eren’s attention was drawn to a guy in the back corner. He was so surreptitious that Eren hadn’t even seen him enter or notice him until now. The guy was short, shorter than Eren probably, with pale skin and dark hair in a faded undercut. He was staring at Hanji with a bored expression, but all Eren could think was that he wanted.


The guy oozed danger.


“So, before we officially start,” Hanji continued, “I wanted to announce that in a few months from now, we’ll be having a fundraiser in support of disadvantaged and troubled youths. We did it for the first time last year, and it was a massive success, so with the Dean’s and the university’s support, we’re looking to make it an annual event. It’s a huge outdoor barbeque with activities and drinking games available to the campus, and we’ll be looking for volunteers to help make it happen.”


“Trust me, it’s amazing. Everyone should definitely come,” a quiet, nerdy looking guy spoke up from the back of the room.


“Thanks, o’boyfriend of mine,” Hanji beamed, before continuing. “So I want to run through a little thing now where we each introduce ourselves to the group, and maybe a few facts about ourselves. I know it can be scary, so we’ll start with some of the oldies first, and if you don’t want to speak then that’s perfectly fine.”


Clearing her throat, Hanji continued. “So, as I said before, I’m Hanji Zoë. I’m transgender, and have been officially out for the past five years. I joined the GSA in my freshman year, and it’s been the best four years of my life. I’m a chemistry major, so if there’s any other science nerds around, I’m sure you’ll be sick of me by the end of the year.”


A few people in the back started clapping, and Eren and the others got the hint to join in. It was nice to see another science student, maybe someone he could get advice from when it came to picking a major. As Hanji left the front, the guy who had spoken up earlier replaced her.


“I’m Moblit Berner. Mostly straight. I joined the GSA in support of my girlfriend, and haven’t looked back since.”


Again, more applause came, and Eren began to see a few people around him shuffle nervously at the thought of speaking up. More people from the back introduced themselves, and although Eren did listen intently, they all began to blur into one.


The short guy from the back didn’t move.


“Reiner Braun,” a blonde guy who was built like an ox announced, confidently. “I’m gay, joined the GSA last year with my best friend, whose not here today. If you see me around campus, come say hey. And come support the Trost Titans,” he cheered, namedropping the university football team, which he clearly played for judging by the jacket he was wearing. As he walked away again, Eren had to check to see if he was drooling, because fucking hell. A quick glance at Jean showed that the guy was similarly transfixed.


“Ymir,” Hanji suddenly shouted from the back, pointing to the two girls on the loveseat, “get up, its your turn.”


“Fuck off!” The brunette girl shouted back, much to Eren’s shock. A nervous laughter rippled through the room, but eventually the girl’s companion, the tiny blonde, got her up to the front.


“Hi, everyone,” the blonde said cheerfully, her voice light and squeaky. “I’m Historia, and this is my girlfriend Ymir.” The brunette, Ymir, just grunted next to her. “Like Reiner and Hanji said, please come say hello to us, and feel free to hang out in this room whenever you want.”


A few more people went after them, but as the flow of speakers began to die down, it became clear that it was almost time for the freshman to get up there. Eren steeled his nerves, and after a pretty blonde said her piece, was surprised to see the short guy with the buzzcut stand up.


“Woo,” Hanji cheered from the back, “the first Freshman!”


When the guy got to the front, he smiled widely. “Um, hi.” He paused, and after a small chuckle from the audience, continued. “I’m Connie Springer. I’m into guys, mostly. I came here with my friend, whose the one with her face still stuffed in the bowl of wedges. Get your ass up here, Sasha!”


That got another laugh from people, Eren included. And when the brunette girl, Sasha, was eventually dragged to the front, she still had a handful of potato in her palm. “Hi, I’m Sasha! I like food and girls, in that order.”


The two were clearly a big hit, and already it was clear that their enthusiasm was infectious. Already, Eren wanted to be friends with them, and as they walked back to their table, he shot the guy, Connie, a grin, which he returned.


To Eren’s surprise, Mikasa was the next to rise from her seat. She calmly walked up, and when she talked, it was with a confidence that Eren wished he had.


“Hi,” Mikasa stated simply, from the front. “I’m Mikasa Yeager. I’m straight. Here to support my brother. Oh, and I’m a literature major.”


She glanced at Eren meaningfully, and he realised that she’d gotten up as a way to get him to talk. It wasn’t pressuring as much as encouraging, and Eren gulped and glanced at Jean, who looked as white as chalk. Feeling his heart thump in chest, he made the walk up, feeling like was going in slow motion.


This was it.


“Hey guys,” he began, before swallowing. Looking around the room, he could see everyone’s eyes on him. Fuck, he wasn’t sure he could do this. Hanji was smiling encouragingly, and everyone from Reiner to Connie and Sasha to even Ymir was staring at him.


And then he saw the short guy in the corner glance his way. Piercing brown eyes locked onto his, and Eren swore he saw the guy smile slightly.


“I’m Eren Yeager. I’m a science student, and I’m gay.”


There was a moment’s silence. And then, contrary to every nightmare Eren had ever had regarding this moment, the audience cheered for him.


Mikasa was hugging him, whispering how proud she was of him. And as they walked back to their seats, Connie held his hand out for a hi-five, which Eren reciprocated, still feeling in a daze. He was only one of many, of course, and so as quick as his applause had come, it stopped for the next person to appear after them, but Eren felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.


He was so wrapped up in what had happened that he almost missed Jean, who all but ran up to the front, mumbled “Jean Kirschtein. Global studies. Bi,” before dashing back to his spot. Eren cheered for him, and patted him on the back in comfort, and to his surprise, the guy shot him a thankful smile.


A few more people went after them, until Hanji eventually came back up to the front.


“That was fantastic, guys! I don’t think we’ve ever had this much buzz around a new group of freshmen, so feel proud of yourselves. Everyone, make yourselves at home and get to know your new family, and once again I want to remind everyone of the fundraiser coming up in just nine weeks!”


As she walked over to chat to a few freshmen in the front row, Connie and Sasha made their way over to Eren, Mikasa and Jean. They both had massive grins on their faces, and as Sasha began to tuck into the bowl of food at their table, Eren grinned.


“Hey, how’s it going?”


The two immediately started chatting away, and already Eren felt at ease. He glanced to Mikasa, who was staring back at him with a soft expression. When they made eye contact she smiled with pride.


“Oi,” Ymir shouted from the corner a moment later, and Eren turned to see who she was yelling at. “Levi, can you pass us the bowl of chips?”


To Eren’s surprise, it was the short guy in the corner who responded. “Get ‘em yourself, you lazy bitch.”


Ymir screeched something back, and was looking like she wanted to pounce, with only Historia holding her back. The people around them didn’t seem to care, so Eren assumed it was a common occurrence. Ymir seemed like… a lot to handle.


Besides, he now had a name.




Yeah, suffice to say, Eren’s day had turned around.






“Fuck, Eren. What have you done?”


Glancing up from the dead body at his feet, Eren looked at the man in front of him. Levi’s face was caked in blood, most of which wasn’t his own. His usually perfectly styled hair was in disarray, and bruises were already forming around his neck. The fact that they were shaped like finger marks was clear as day.


Outside, what seemed like a firework went off, and a loud cheer followed. The GSA fundraiser was clearly still going as strong as ever, but right now all Eren cared about was fighting the panic forming in his chest.


“I-” he started, before halting, because he was choking on vomit. “He was going to kill you, Levi.”


The ragged rise and fall of Levi’s chest was clear. “You killed him, Eren. You killed him.”


Eren swallowed, his throat feeling like sandpaper. In his hand, the knife continued to drip blood onto the wooden floor.


Chapter Text

Then. Nine Weeks Ago


“That’s amazing Eren! I’m so proud of you!”


From the computer screen, Armin’s face beamed out at him, warming Eren even more. On the other end of the call, Armin was sitting in his own dorm room in Orvud University, one of the most prestigious institutions in the country. They’d been on the call for at least twenty minutes now, but aside from Jean’s annoyed huff from his bed, Eren was content to keep it going.


God, he’d missed his best friend.


“I’m so glad that you were able to find the courage to do that, Eren. I mean it. And it sounds like you have a pretty good support group around you there. I’m a little jealous,” Armin said, laughing a little.


If Armin had been there, that day would’ve been perfect. It was the unspoken thing Eren hadn’t said, but it was clear the words hung over them, and that Armin missed him and Mikasa as much as they did him. He’d been at Orvud for a little over a month now, having started before Eren and Mikasa, but it already seemed like he was settling in fine. Not even that, but he was thriving. And Eren was so glad for him, honestly.


He just wished it could’ve been a little closer to him.


“Thanks, A,” Eren grinned back. “But we’ve been talking about me all day. How’s class going? Is Marlowe still annoying the shit out of you?”


Armin groaned and threw his head down on his desk, before launching into a story about how his class rival had once again talked back to him in front of everyone, trying to prove him wrong publicly during a tute. Eren sympathised, he really did, but at the same time he was glad to see Armin being intellectually challenged. Out of everyone, he’d been the one destined for greater things than Shiganshina, where his smarts had gone unrivalled.


The fact that he was among people like him, people that could stimulate greatness from him, made Eren proud. Even if they did sound like dicks.


“… Hitch was able to talk him down, though. Thank god. If it wasn’t for her, I’d have punched Marlowe by now.”


Even just trying to visualise Armin punching anyone was enough to have Eren giggling, and when he finally stopped, Armin was mock glaring at him.




“So, Hitch, huh?” Eren began, smirking a little when Armin just looked confused. “Don’t tell me you’ve finally found a girl that you like?”


And damn, Armin still wasn’t getting flustered at that. He’d never seemed to worry about girls, despite the fact that he was straight as an arrow. Eren and Mikasa were still waiting for the day when Armin would fall for someone, which was looking more and more like something that would happen when hell froze over.


“I’m too busy to worry about something like that, Eren,” Armin replied. “But we do have a break between semesters coming up, so I was thinking I’d come see you and Mikasa during then if you’re not too busy.”


Oh, fuck yes. Eren beamed, thrilled at the thought of getting to see his best friend. “When’s your break?”


Armin rattled off the date, and Eren’s grin widened. “Perfect! The GSA is doing a fundraiser thing during that week at the college campus, so there’ll be drinking games and activities and all kinds of stuff.”


They continued to work out the details for several more minutes, before Armin grinned a little evilly.


“So… have you found a guy yet? Surely with the club you’ll be able to find someone that’s interested in you.” Armin brought up as Eren snorted, but thought of Erwin again. Shit, he’d been doing so good at keeping his professor out of his mind for the last few days. He hadn’t told Mikasa, Armin or Jean about him, and hopefully, his crush would die off and he wouldn’t have to. Not to mention, his behaviour was embarrassing as hell. He’d had two more history lectures with Erwin since the first Monday, both of which he’d spent dodging his professor’s gaze, and had hightailed it out of the moment the lectures finished.


And then there was Levi, the mysterious guy from the GSA meeting. After the meeting had finished, Eren had looked out for him, only to find that the short man had ducked away sometime earlier. Still, Levi had intrigued him, partly because he was hot as hell, but for another reason as well that he couldn’t quite put his finger on.


“What about the hot roommate?” Armin continued.


Eren was glad he had his headphones in, because he did not want Jean thinking they were his words, when in fact they’d come from Armin himself, after seeing Jean walk by in the background earlier. Still, he snickered and glanced at Jean, who was reading a book on his bead.


“Who, Jean?” That got the guy’s attention, and he glanced over Eren’s way. “Nah, I’d rather go for someone who doesn’t hang out in the stables and eat hay.”


“Oh, fuck off, Yeager!”




“So,” Mikasa said to him, as they both sat down for lunch at a campus café, “I heard that Armin’s coming down here in a few month’s time.”


“Yeah,” Eren cheered, sipping at his coffee. “I talked to Jean about it, and he says it’s okay if Armin stays with us. I’ll see if we can find a spare mattress, or otherwise we’ll just share my bed.”


“Wow, I can’t believe Jean agreed to that.”


And Eren was with her on that, because the change in Jean’s attitude to him had been pretty evident over the last few days. Since the Tuesday GSA meeting, he’d been much more tolerable, even if he still had the snark that he’d started with. But now, it was in more of a teasing manner, to the point that three days later, Eren actually somewhat enjoyed spending time with him.


Sure, they’d had more than one explosive fight since then, mostly due to their similar personalities than anything else. It was usually Jean complaining about Eren being ‘a slob’, or using something that was his, but the bite had been taken out of his bark, and most of the time Eren didn’t mind it. Sure, it wasn’t even a full week into their time living together, but now that they’d established a rapport, Eren was confident they could keep things going.


Hell, if push came to shove, Eren would even call Jean his friend.


It was better than Mikasa had, that was for sure. He hadn’t met her roommate yet, some girl called Mina, but apparently she barely talked and spent every waking hour on the phone to her boyfriend. It was safe to say that Mikasa wasn’t a fan.


“I know, it surprised me too. I guess I’m growing on him.”


And Mikasa, in only the way Mikasa could, smiled at him genuinely. “It’s impossible for anyone not to like you, Eren.”


Fuck, he was blushing again.


But Mikasa was already changing the topic. “So Sasha texted me earlier today. Apparently that Historia girl is having a get together at her house tomorrow night, and wanted to spread the word through to everyone.”


“Historia?” Eren questioned, remembering the small, quiet blonde. “And since when were you and Sasha messaging each other?”


It was nice, if surprising, to know that Mikasa was making friends outside of him. Eren had always wanted her to keep reaching outside her comfort zone, even if right now he was feeling slightly jealous. Because apart from adding them on the various social medias, he hadn’t spoken to either Connie or Sasha since the meeting.


But then Eren thought back to that meeting, and remembered that after finally being torn away from the food being offered around, Sasha had become transfixed with Mikasa. Even more intensely than Jean had been. And unlike Jean, she had not been subtle in her crush on Mikasa.


“Apparently Historia’s dad is Rod Reiss, the Dean of the university.”


Oh, Eren hadn’t known that. Probably another reason the GSA received so much funding.


“So? Do you want to go?”


Remembering the point of the conversation, Eren paused. He did want to go, but fucking hell was it nerve-racking to imagine himself there, surrounded by people he barely knew. The meeting had been one thing, specifically designed for new freshmen like him. But this would be different, probably filled mostly with people who’d known each other for years, and all at once Eren felt like he was back in high school.


Still, if he never made the effort, then nothing would change.


“Do you want to go?” He asked back.


“I want to go if you want to go.”


Well, that settled it then.


“I’ll text Jean, see if he’s game. Worst case scenario, it sucks, and we go get drunk at a nearby bar or something.”




It seemed almost too good to be true, if Eren was being honest.


By the time he was four beers in, his nerves had settled, but the sheer peculiarity of the situation was still baring down on him. All around him, people were drinking and chatting and laughing, a pleasant hum filling the apartment. Eren recognised most of them, at least by their faces from the GSA meeting he’d been to. The rest he assumed were friends of either Historia or Hanji. The apartment itself was huge, easily big enough to fit all twenty-something of them in, and Eren was a little jealous that Historia got to live here, compared to his meagre dorm with Jean.


What little awkwardness Eren had felt upon arrival had been quickly washed away when Sasha and Connie had rushed up to the three of them. Eren had been planning on staying glued to Mikasa’s side all night, but Sasha had dragged her away not long after. Luckily, Connie talked enough for the both of him and Jean, so they’d settled in relatively quickly.


To Eren’s surprise, Mikasa had settled in nicely as well. By now, Sasha was back with him, Jean and Connie, but Mikasa remained near the kitchen on the other side of the room, seemingly talking to an angry-looking girl with blond hair. They seemed to be a good match for one another, and when Eren had met Mikasa’s eyes across the room a few minutes ago, the girl had smiled encouragingly at him to let him know she was fine.


Which was good, because Eren was getting fucking demolished at whatever bullshit drinking game Connie had pulled out of his ass.


“Fuck off!” He shouted as he guessed the wrong card once again, downing a bit more of his drink as penance. Beside him, Jean was cackling at his bad luck, and Connie was grinning proudly.


“I told ya, dude,” Connie shouted with a smirk, “this game fucks you up!”


“It’s not even a game though! There’s no skill involved, it’s just luck.”


Connie just laughed, holding the deck of cards out to Jean. “Red or black?”


As Jean took his turn at Connie’s ‘game’, Eren turned his attention to the rest of the room. In addition to Sasha next to them, busy with a bowl of chips she’d gotten from somewhere, Eren had briefly chatted to Historia, and had said hi to Hanji when she’d passed by. He still felt like an outsider to the group, who seemed to know each other well, but to his surprise he didn’t feel awkward about it. It was probably the beer, but Eren was still reeling from the fact that the people in this room, or most of them at least, were like him. Coming from a small town like Shiganshina, where it hadn’t been okay to be out and proud, it was jarring to be around so many people that were just… open about it.


Because Eren could see Reiner, the muscular blonde guy he remembered from the first meeting, snuggling up to another man on a sofa, in a way that was definitely not heterosexual. It was almost funny, how no one seemed to give a fuck, and Eren half-expected it all to be one big joke, that suddenly everyone would ask him what he was doing. But no one called Reiner out, and the tall, dark-haired man who was the recipient of his touches looked more than content to be there.


“Hell yeah!” Jean’s roar brought Eren back to the game, and to his surprise he found that the guy had managed to get through all five rounds of card-guessing, which to be honest was bullshit.


When Eren voiced that thought, Jean just cackled again. “Don’t be a salty little shit, Yeager, it’s not endearing.” And fuck, that smug tone made Eren want to smack Jean. But he held back his anger, something he’d been getting better at recently, and just settled for a mock glare that the other man laughed off.


“Your turn, Sasha,” Connie directed, but the girl in question seemed to be in a whole other world. When Connie punched her lightly on the shoulder, she startled and stood up.


“Gimme a sec, I’m gonna see if Mikasa wants to come play.”


When she left, Eren turned to Connie, cocking an eyebrow. “Should I be concerned on Mikasa’s behalf?”


To his surprise, Connie just laughed. “It’s just a puppy crush, don’t worry. Sasha looks at baked potatoes the way she’s looking at your sister.”


And even if Eren was still convinced that Mikasa was slowly being courted, he was glad to have her join them again on the floor. The blonde girl she’d been talking to followed along, nodding politely to them but still not smiling. A second later, Mikasa introduced her as Annie, and then Jean and Connie were fighting over what drinking game they were going to play next.


But Eren’s attention wasn’t on the squabble, because Levi had just walked in through the front door. And fuck, Eren was immediately hooked, his eyes locked on the man as he closed the door behind him. He’d come alone, and apart from a brief survey of the room, didn’t seem to be overly interested in the people there as he packed the drinks he’d brought with him into the fridge. Eren knew he shouldn’t be so obvious in his staring, but Levi was captivating, from his piercing eyes and carefully styled hair, to the tight but ripped jeans that hugged his legs. The man screamed dangerous, and Eren was all in on taking that risk.


A shriek cut over the music that was playing, as Hanji teared across the room towards the man. “Levi! You came!”


Hanji wrapped Levi in a strong hug, but Eren noticed that it wasn’t reciprocated. Levi did smirk a little, but otherwise his arms remained at his side. It didn’t seem unkind, but more as if this Levi guy simply didn’t like being hugged.


“Look,” Connie whispered all of a sudden, glancing at Levi as well. “It’s that scary guy again.”


For some reason, Eren felt affronted on Levi’s behalf, even though he could agree that yeah, the guy was intimidating, even for his short stature. However, just as he was about to jump to the man’s defence, he was surprised when Annie spoke up.


“Levi’s been through a lot recently, so watch what you say around him,” she warned them. “Last year was a rough year for him.”


Eren was intrigued, immediately. As the only non-freshmen with them, it made sense that Annie would now more about Levi, but Eren wanted to as well. He knew it was nosy, but he couldn’t help himself.


“What happened?”


Upon looking his way, Eren shrivelled a little under Annie’s intense stare. “I don’t want to speak for him, but if you must know, Levi lost some friends that were important to him. If you want to know more, then ask him yourself.”


As if by a sixth sense, Levi’s disinterested stare turned his way, and Eren flinched slightly, even though he knew he couldn’t actually hear them. It wasn’t a good look to be caught staring, especially when he barely knew anyone in the room. Now feeling a little chastised, and aware he’d been thinking about Levi a little too much, Eren turned back to the group he was with. Jean and Connie had gone back to arguing over what game to play, and to Eren’s surprise Mikasa was watching them with a fond expression.


It made him happy, to see Mikasa this comfortable. Because as temperamental as he’d been growing up, Mikasa had struggled to make friends even more. After her parents’ deaths, she’d closed herself off, and apart from Eren, his parents and Armin, she rarely made an effort. But right now, as Connie waved his hands around in an exaggerated manner at Jean’s perplexed expression, Eren was glad she was having fun. Mikasa had been reluctant to leave Shiganshina, but ultimately would’ve gone wherever Eren went. And once again, Eren was reminded of his belief that Trost would be a good thing for them.


A second later, the music playing over the speaker decreased, and Hanji was yelling out to everyone. “We’re gonna play flip cup, so everyone get the fuck over here!”


Jean and Connie looked at each other, before shrugging, their disagreement obviously now pointless. As Eren followed the group to the large dining table Hanji and Moblit had set the game up on, he nudged Mikasa on the shoulder.


“Don’t tell me you made a friend,” he murmured, smirking.


Mikasa just rolled her eyes, clearly fighting down a small smile. “Annie’s nice. She does MMA, so it was interesting to hear about.”


“Great. Another angry girl who could beat me to a pulp.”


Eren ended up positioned next to Mikasa at the table. On his other side was an attractive, freckled guy with dark hair, who introduced himself to be Marco. Remembering him as another new freshman from the GSA meeting, Eren grinned and returned the enthusiastic hug he’d received. Marco was clearly trashed already, and Eren found himself supporting him as the game began. They were down the far end of the table, away from the main group who knew each other the best, so when it finally came time for Eren’s turn he tried not to screw up to badly and embarrass himself (Marco had taken the pressure off him by being absolutely shit at flipping his cup in the state he was in). Mikasa, of course, was a natural, and despite never having played the game before managed to perfectly master it on her first go.


Still, their team ended up losing, thanks to Marco having put them behind, and as Hanji yelled for everyone to set up for another round, Marco giggled loudly and leaned on Eren.


“Fuck, I’m so drunk. Can’t even see straight, Eren.”


It was a weird feeling, for Marco to embrace Eren so warmly despite them just meeting. Sure, Marco was way past drunk, but Eren unconsciously found himself checking around him, before realising that no one cared. And that realisation alone made him smile widely, laughing easily with Marco and quickly finishing the rest of his beer.


Marco’s state was infectious, and it didn’t take long for Eren to finish his next drink, and then the one after that. He could feel the buzz increasing, and when Jean yelled at him to do better at flipping his cup, Eren just gave him the finger and loudly retorted by calling him a ‘Horseface’, which got a roar of laughter from those around him. He did feel a little bad, especially when he saw Jean’s murderous expression, but Eren felt like he was on top of the world, with Mikasa smiling at him and Marco hanging off his other side.


Later, he’d realise that Jean’s glare was less about the insult itself, and more about the company it’d been in front of, namely the one giggling against his neck.


At some point, people began to break off from the game, and later Eren found himself in a small group on the other side of the room. He was piled onto a plush sofa with Jean and Historia, with Reiner and his tall, dark-haired companion on the chair across from them. Reiner’s friend had introduced himself as Bertholdt, and while he seemed nice enough, the guy was clearly preoccupied with looking after Reiner, who’d drank way too much and was beginning to doze off. Bertholdt was attractive, in a conventional, hot geeky type of way, and looked at home as he propped Reiner up against his shoulder.


The jock looked huge against him, but he contently snuggled against Bertholdt, looking pleased with his cushion even as his intoxicated eyes glazed over.


“So comfy, Berty,” Reiner slurred and yeah, he was slobbering against Bertholdt’s sweater by now.


“Is he okay?” Historia asked, looking amused but worried. If Eren had gathered anything about the short blonde up till now, aside from the fact that she was charmed by Ymir, it was that she was empathetic and caring towards almost anyone, and already Eren felt at ease around her.


“He doesn’t look like it, but Reiner’s a massive lightweight,” Bertholdt teased, but there was a degree of concern on his face as he surveyed Reiner.


He was silent after that, as Eren chatted with Jean and Historia, until Ymir came running over, her beer spilling as she stumbled a bit.


“Babe!” She cried, “can you back me up and tell Levi that I give great head!”


Eren snorted into his drink, and looked over to where Ymir had come from. Levi was rolling his eyes and looking the same as usual, but still was staring their way. Next to Levi, Hanji and Moblit were laughing at how loud Ymir had been, with most people in the room’s attention now on them.


“Ymir!” Historia chastised and slapped her girlfriend on the arm, but was still grinning through her reddened cheeks.


Ymir stayed with them, and when Bertholdt left a few minutes later to take Reiner back home, the three older people came to sit with them. Hanji and Moblit took their spot, and by the time Eren realised through his drunken state that Jean had disappeared earlier at some point, Levi was already taking the vacant seat and sitting next to him.


‘Fuck. Play it cool, Eren.’


Settling for just a welcoming smile in the older man’s direction, Eren was thrilled when Levi acknowledged him with a nod, before settling back in the sofa.


“It’s Eren, right?” Levi asked and holy fuck, his voice was just as deep and throaty as Eren remembered.


Holy shit. He knows my name. He remembers me.


Next to them, Ymir and Hanji were drunkenly trying to one-up each other with their skills in the bedroom, while Historia and Moblit had the decency to look embarrassed.


“Yeah, um,” Eren said, swallowing nervously. “You’re Levi?”


Levi just nodded again, arching an eyebrow when Ymir cackled at something next to them.


A glint caught his eye, and Eren glanced down to notice a thing necklace around Levi’s neck. It’d obviously been tucked under his dark shirt when he arrived, but by now was dangling free. A silver ring was looped through the black string, and although Eren couldn’t make it out he could see some kind of inscription on the metal.


Remembering what Annie had said about Levi having lost people close to him, Eren fought back the urge to ask anything regarding to that. Instead, he awkwardly cleared his throat. “You’re saving me from being the fifth wheel here, so thanks.”


Shit, he sounded lame. But Levi quirked his lips a little, before whatever he was about to say was interrupted by Hanji.


“Come on, Levi, you do both! What’s harder, giving head to a guy or a girl?”


Eren spluttered in surprise at the blatant question, trying not to cough up the gulp of beer he’d just taken. But Levi didn’t appear flustered at all, and just reclined back with his usual deadpan expression.


“Can’t say I’ve found either particularly taxing.”


Hanji cackled, while Ymir just sneered at him. “Ugh, come on. If I have to hear about how great a fuck you are one more time, I’m gonna become even gayer than I already am.”


“Not possible,” Historia chimed in, quietly.


“What about you, Eren?” Hanji interrupted, turning the conversation to him. “You’re gay and all that, but have you ever been with a chick?”


“Um, no,” Eren supplied back, his brain still caught on the fact that yes, Levi was into guys. He’d had a fairly good hope that he’d be, but there were a few straight people in the GSA, so he hadn’t wanted to bank on it. Besides, from the sound of it, Levi was good at it.


So, he steeled himself, more aware than ever that he was talking to a group of five that knew each other better than they knew him. “I’d have to go with Levi that sucking dick isn’t that hard, though.”


Hanji grumbled, and Ymir cheered that it was another point in her favour. Eren didn’t even really know what they were arguing about, but Levi snorted softly beside him, so Eren counted it as a win.


“Guess we’ll just have to get Marco to find out how good you are then,” Ymir cut in, surprising Eren.


“Ah… what?”


“Oh please. A blind man could see that he was all over you before. Take him home!”


Shit, Eren had just thought that the guy was being overly friendly. But the group around him, even Historia and Moblit, were agreeing with Ymir, and that gave Eren a small surge of excitement.


“Are you sure?” He asked, still feeling doubtful. “Marco’s just a really friendly guy, I’m sure-”


“Eren,” Hanji replied, drunkenly patting him on the knee, “if you have a legit reason for not wanting to get with Marco, then that’s fine. But if you’re just scared, then fucking go for it! He’s keen as fuck for you, everyone can see it.”


Which was how, an hour or so later, as people began to filter out of Historia’s place, Eren ended up with Marco wrapped around his waist. He was still pretty drunk, but so was Eren, so it seemed like a match made in heaven.


“Are you sure you’re okay?” Eren asked Mikasa, as they began to leave. “I can come with.”


Mikasa just mock-glared at him. “I’m catching a ride back to the dorms with Annie, Eren. We’ll be fine. Besides, if we got in trouble the only good you’d serve would be as a human shield.”


Marco snorted next to him, mumbling about how “the pretty lady is so funny,” and so Eren gave in. Next to them, Annie nodded.


“I’ll make sure she gets home. Don’t worry.”


Despite the fact that she was still as intimidating as she’d been earlier, Eren believed her.


“Okay. But text me the moment you get back.”


Mikasa rolled her eyes, but relented, and as they left, Eren turned to say goodbye to who was left. Historia and Ymir had already retired to the former’s room, after much catcalls and Ymir making V-sign with her fingers around her mouth, the universal symbol of what was probably going to come for them.


Hanji and Moblit waved them off, with the former winking at Eren as they left. What mattered to Eren more was the nod he’d gotten from Levi just afterward. Levi had stayed mostly quiet during their discussion about Eren and Marco, apart from him quietly confirming that Marco was indeed into Eren. Still, Eren was thrilled that he and Levi had now been introduced to each other, if anything.


Jean had left earlier with Connie and Sasha, seemingly still in a grumpy mood, leaving Eren free to wander across campus with Marco. With both of them drunk as hell, it’d made for an interesting walk filled with giggles, until Marco’s cuddles had turned into caresses, and then into gropes.


“So hot, ‘Ren,” he slurred and yep, that was a hand on Eren’s dick. “Wanna fuck you.”


Even in his heavily inebriated state, Eren knew that they wouldn’t get that far. But he was hard, already in his jeans, and as he looked around him in the park they were walking through, he smirked to himself. He recognised the area as one of the many outdoor areas on campus, and had walked passed it a few times over the past week. With it being well past midnight, the area was deserted, but there’d likely be a few people wandering past every now and then, like him and Marco.


Remembering the conversation he’d had with Levi, Hanji and the others about giving head, Eren licked his lips.


When he finally kissed Marco, a minute or so later after they’d found their way to a secluded spot next to a tree, Eren heard the other guy groan against his lips. With how drunk they both were, the kiss was by no means clean, and already teeth were gnashing against teeth, tongues licking over each other. Eren moved his hand down to Marco’s own jeans, satisfied when he felt the man’s hard length.


“Wanna suck you,” Eren said against Marco’s mouth, before kissing him hungrily again when the other man moaned.


A few kisses later, and Eren was dropping to his knees, in a public park.


In his eagerness, Marco had already begun to undo his jeans, with his belt unbuckled and fly already open. Eren finished the job by pulling both them and his underwear down, and they fell to Marco’s ankles, letting his already hard cock spring out in the process. Drunk and horny and wanting to get his mouth on Marco as soon as possible, Eren didn’t waste a moment before swallowing him down, letting his lips form a seal around the shafted as he suckled at the head.


Above him, Marco shivered and let out a long moan, before his hands came up to slink through Eren’s hair. It was both fucking hot and comforting at the same time and Eren resumed his task of sucking Marco off. He let his tongue massage the underside of the man’s shaft, before moving to bob his head in the rhythmic fashion he’d gotten so used to over the past few years. It’d been a while since his last guy, but now that it was happening again, Eren was again reminded that for every moment he was awkward with his words, he’d made up for it in the bedroom.


Fuck, he’d missed sucking dick.


“God, Eren,” Marco muttered above him. “Oh god, that feels amazing.”


Eren moaned around him, fuelled on by the praise. It’d been a while, but he quickly fell into the rhythm of bobbing his head and twisting his hand around the shaft at the same time. The guys he’d been with before this had always told Eren that this was what he excelled at, and Eren was pleased to see it was reflected with Marco. And even just the feel of a cock in his mouth had Eren hard, even if he wasn’t being stimulated at all.


Pulling off Marco’s cock for only a moment, Eren held it around the base before lapping at the head with his tongue. Marco sighed, and Eren knew he was on the right track. Surged on, Eren slapped his face slightly with the cock, letting skin rub against skin. He could feel precum sticking to his cheeks and chin, but really, that was the least of his worried right now. Making eye contact with Marco, Eren kissed the shaft of his cock before slapping it again at his face, and despite himself he enjoyed the blissed out expression above him. He didn’t usually play the submissive, but there was a certain thrill that Eren got from teasing others with the notion. Steadily, he licked the salty liquid that was quickly pooling at the slit of Marco’s cock, before taking the whole length back into his mouth.


Eren sank all the way down until the head of Marco’s cock hit the back of his throat. Blinking back the tears as he gagged slightly, Eren kept going, doing his best to relax the muscles of his throat as he slid all the way down, so that his nose rested in the dusting of hair around the base of Marco’s cock. A long, breathless groan left Marco’s lips, and Eren continued on, sucking tightly and harshly around his cock as he sealed his lips.


Marco’s cock was long but not particularly thick, so while it might reach deep his jaw didn’t strain too much from the action. Still, the weight of the cock on his tongue was comforting, and Eren hummed slightly as he licked along it while continuing to take Marco into his throat, over and over again. Eren knew he was doing a good job, if the constant moans and soft babble of words above him were anything to go by. It turned him on even more, and again he wished that he’d taken his own cock out, which was painfully pressing against his jeans.


“Fu- Eren baby,” Marco whined when Eren sucked hard around the head. “Oh my god you’re so fucking good at this.”


Despite everything, Eren flushed at the praise, before reaching forward to cup at Marco’s balls with one hand. He held onto them, fingers massaging the skin as he pulled back. Then, making sure to make eye contact with Marco’s, who even in the dark Eren could see his eyes were wide and dilated, Eren sank his mouth back down, his eyes never leaving Marco. And really, Eren got a bit of a power trip, the way he was able to watch as Marco’s face went slack as he took him all the way down, the head of his cock slipping over the back of his tongue and down into his throat.


Suddenly, Marco thrusted his hips forward, and Eren gagged as the cock in his throat unexpectedly slipped even deeper. Coughing around the abrupt intrusion, he pulled all the way off to compose himself.


“Shit, sorry. I-”


“You’re good, dude,” Eren cut in, sniffling slightly. Marco was clearly still drunk, and Eren could still feel his own significant buzz as well. “Just wasn’t expecting it.”


Truthfully, Eren was thankful for the quick break, as it allowed him to quickly unzip his jeans and take his dick out.


Still, this time, he made sure to keep one hand on Marco’s bare thigh, so that the other man wouldn’t be able to thrust forward. While Eren didn’t mind getting facefucked, he was pretty sure doing it while drunk as shit wouldn’t end well. So, he hollowed his cheeks in to create more suction, before resuming his motions of bobbing his head, all the while pumping his other hand over his own cock. He could feel his own spit wetting his lips as he moved, lubricating Marco’s shaft even more. Eren hummed and doubled his efforts, intent on making Marco cum.


And if Marco’s pants and gasps were anything to go by, that wouldn’t be long off. The dark-haired man’s hands had found their way back into Eren’s hair, fingers latching into his brown locks. Distantly, Eren could hear Marco muttering something to him, so he kept going, bobbing his head up and down more furiously in order to accelerate the man’s orgasm, pumping his hand around himself faster all the while.


The tightening of Marco’s balls under his touch was the only warning Eren had before warm cum flooded his mouth. Marco’s fingers gripped painfully tight in his hair, but Eren didn’t really care. He bobbed his head down, one last time, taking Marco back into his throat so that his seed erupted straight down his throat. He swallowed again and again, drinking down the cum that was still in his mouth and adding more pressure and suction to Marco’s cock, making him scream loudly above him.


With Marco holding him tight by his hair, Eren jacked himself off furiously, tasting the cum on his tongue and bringing himself further to the edge. He kept pumping, again and again, and soon enough he was cumming as well, spilling all over the ground between his knees.


Not too long after, the fingers in his hair slackened, and Eren took that as a sign to pull himself off. He swallowed the lingering saltiness on his tongue, and he let Marco’s now softening cock fall out of his mouth, before swiping his hand up to break the strand of spit connecting it to his lips.


“Holy shit,” Marco gasped breathlessly.


Eren wiped his cum-stained hand on the grass, before climbing to his feet. Immediately, Marco caught him in a long kiss, much less hungry than before, but just as sweet. Eren could feel the other man’s smile against his lips, and contently moaned into the kiss, flicking his tongue over Marco’s for a few more moments before pulling away.


“It’s fucking cold out here,” Eren brought up, and Marco giggled drunkenly.


In the end, it took both of them to get Marco’s underwear and jeans back up, and as they drunkenly stumbled back to Eren’s dorm, he grinned into the Marco’s shoulder.






By the time Eren’s breathing had finally slowed down to normal, Levi was slumped against the back wall, his head in his hands. When Eren approached, the other man looked up, even more blood smeared across his face and dripping from his nose. Despite his typical composed expression still being painted on, Eren could see his hands shaking.


“Levi… are you okay?”


Levi laughed, almost meanly. “I’m fine, you fucking brat. He’s seen better days, though.”


Eren didn’t need to see who Levi was pointing at. He didn’t want to see. Stabbing someone over and over and over in the face didn’t look pretty, after all.


In the distance, a loud roar erupted, followed by a rattle of laughter in the distance.


“Shit,” Eren breathed. He was meant to be at the fundraiser. He’d told Moblit he’d be back by seven o’clock with more drinks, but he hadn’t even made it to the bottle shop before everything had gone wrong.


It was well past nine now.


“You got us in a real shitshow, Yeager,” Levi mocked from the floor.


“Don’t get like that, Levi. I did it to save you!”


“You wouldn’t have had to if you hadn’t fucked him in the first place!”


Even though Levi was right in that regard, anger surged through Eren momentarily. “If you’d just waited for a fucking day, like I told you to, then we could’ve thought this over and this shit wouldn’t have happened!”


Things had become so complicated, but Eren had honestly thought he’d had a handle on it all. He hadn’t expected for the situation to escalate like this, and while Levi was in part to blame for it, it was just as much Eren’s fault as his.


In his pocket, Eren’s phone buzzed again, but he ignored it. Right now, he needed to focus on cleaning up his mess.


Already, he knew who he had to call.


Chapter Text

Then. Eight Weeks Ago


When Eren woke up the next morning, it was to the sounds of someone retching.


Immediately, he winced, and as he rolled over in bed, felt his own stomach surge. Holy shit, he’d been drunk as crap last night, drunker than he’d intended, to the point that he and Marco had-




“Your boyfriend woke me up,” Jean sneered from his bed, when Eren turned over and opened his eyes properly.


Which yeah, it made sense that Marco was the one throwing his stomach up in their bathroom. However drunk Eren had been, Marco had been even more gone, to the point that by the time they’d made it back to the dorm, Eren had had to give the freckled-man a piggy-back in. And they’d been anything but quiet while getting to bed, but Jean hadn’t said anything last night, so Eren could at least be grateful for that.


“I’m just glad he’s not puking on me,” Eren replied, before groaning and clutching at his head.


As Marco coughed loudly in the bathroom, Eren reached for his water bottle. “How come you left early last night?”


Jean shrugged, not taking his eyes off his phone. “Was tired. Besides, not everyone had a hot date last night.”


As if on que, Marco staggered back through to the bedroom, his beautiful dark hair sticking out in every direction. Despite the state he was in, he managed a smile Eren’s way, even if it was replaced with a groan a second later.


“Never let me drink again,” he muttered, before falling face first onto the bed beside Eren.


Well, at least he didn’t have to worry about the awkward morning after.


From his bed across the room, Jean stared at Marco for a second, before turning to Eren. He looked like he was in a much better state than the both of them, reminding Eren of how much he’d drunk compared to him. Mikasa was probably fine as well, she never seemed to be hungover. Of course, even though Eren was worse off in that regard, he was also a massive lightweight compared to her, so really, he was just asking for it.


Thank god it was Sunday, because there was no way he was getting out of bed before lunch.


“If you guys fuck while I’m here, I will bitch slap you both,” Jean mentioned later that morning, stopping them when Marco had woken again to rub at Eren’s thigh.




When Eren arrived at his history elective the next Monday morning, bleary-eyed and tired, he was pleasantly surprised to find Connie leaning on the wall outside the lecture theatre.


“Eren?” He gasped with wide eyes. “What are you doing here, I thought you were a science student?”


“This is my elective,” Eren explained, grinning. “This is crazy, can’t believe we didn’t work this out earlier.”


The smile Connie shot back at him was blinding. “Shit, thank god I have a friend. I spent the first week zoning out and now I’m so far behind.”


They wandered into the theatre, which was already filling up, despite the fact that Erwin hadn’t arrived. Eren and Connie took up their seats in the back row, apparently where Connie had been sitting last week when Eren hadn’t known him. And already, Eren could feel his heart thumping at the thought of seeing Erwin again, remembering the interaction they’d had when he first arrived.


“How’d you pull up yesterday morning?” Connie asked, and Eren only groaned in reply, because it hurt just thinking about how hungover he’d been.


As Eren opened up his laptop to take notes, it became evident that Connie was indeed far worse off than him. The shorter man had an exercise book with him, and after flipping through it, Eren could see almost nothing written down for the entirety of last week. Despite the fact that he himself wasn’t a model student, Eren could tell he’d end up taking notes for the both of them, something which really wasn’t all that big a deal.


A few minutes later, Erwin entered the room through the door nearest the front, and the chattering in audience began to simmer. And god, once again Eren was reminded of how fucking hot he was, filling out that suit so damn well. The blonde professor’s steely gaze peered out across the body of students, and it might’ve just been his imagination, but Eren was pretty sure those blue eyes softened when they landed on him. After struggling with what to do, Eren eventually settled on shooting back a smile, but Erwin’s attention had already moved on, the man beginning to shuffle his papers and clear his throat.


Eren wasn’t chickening out today. He was going to talk to Erwin after the lecture.


“Good morning,” Erwin began, taking his place behind the podium as he tapped at his laptop. A second later, the lecture slides appeared on the projector behind him, and Eren did his best to concentrate on what the professor was saying.


“Talk about hot for teacher,” Connie sighed a second later, and when Eren turned to him, Connie was staring straight at Erwin in adoration.


“Fuck, I know right,” Eren whispered back with a smirk, making sure to lower his voice so the girl two seats down from him didn’t overhear. He and Mikasa rarely talked about guys, so it was kind of novel to be doing so with Connie, but the guy was so open that it didn’t make it awkward.


A few minutes into the lecture, Connie leant in towards Eren again. “Think I could ask for some extra credit?”


Eren snickered into his hands, before looking down a little when the people in front of them turned their heads. Yeah, getting caught ogling the professor probably wasn’t a great move, but it was still fun to entertain such thoughts. Because despite the promising interaction Eren had had with the him the day they’d met, Erwin was his professor. And even if Eren himself was keen, Erwin definitely seemed like a stickler for the rules. Besides, he didn’t even know if the professor was even into dudes. Not to mention, once again, that he was hisprofessor.


When Erwin moved to the next slide, Eren swallowed and turned his attention back to the content in front of him. He needed to get it down, now for both his and Connie’s sake. His friend was busy scrawling cartoons in the margins of his book, ignoring what Erwin was saying entirely in favour of just staring at him. Eren could already tell that Connie probably wouldn’t end up being a good influence in this class but was still glad to have a friend.


The hour sped by once he doubled down on listening, and before Eren knew it the students around him were packing up. Connie had by now finished his masterpiece on the page, which consisted of a massive dick-rocket hybrid.


Arching an eyebrow, Eren gestured at his work. “I’m assuming you’d want my notes.”


Connie at least had the gall to look sheepish. “You’re a lifesaver, Eren. Seriously, drinks are on me next time we go out.”


“I’ll hold you that. Meet you outside? I wanna ask the professor something.”


Ignoring the blatant and obscene blowjob gesture Connie gave him in return, Eren made his way down the aisle towards the front. This was it, he was going to talk to him. Eren told himself that it was because he was interested in the subject-matter, which was at least in part true, but definitely not the reason his heart was racing.


As he reached the front of the lecture theatre, Erwin had just finished packing his bags, and was talking to another student. She thanked him and left as Eren approached, and when Erwin turned to see him, a flash of something Eren couldn’t quite decipher came over his face. But then Erwin was smiling politely, tight-lipped but genuine.


“I was wondering when I might see you next, Mr. Yeager.”


Later, Eren would realise that in order for Erwin to have known his last name, he would’ve had to look for him specifically in his class list. But for now, he was distracted.


Because god, that deep, rich voice. Swallowing, Eren gave his best sheepish smile. “Hi, Er- Professor. I probably should’ve come by last week, but I’ve been busy, and I just wanted to say thanks again for your help last weekend.”


Erwin smiled once again, that same composed look he could have trademarked. “Of course, Mr. Yeager. It was a pleasure to help a student in need.” Fuck, Eren didn’t like the way he stressed ‘student’. “However, I must say I was surprised to see you in my class last week. I remember you telling me that you were a science student.”


“I am. I’m just, um, doing this subject as an elective. Which is another reason I wanted to talk to you.”


Fuck, why was he so nervous.


“I was, well… wondering if I could talk to you about my topic for the upcoming paper? I think I want to write mine on the founding of Shiganshina, but I’m a little unsure of where to start.”


Erwin stared at Eren for a moment, his expression unreadable, before his lips quirked to the side. “It’s very impressive that you’re already thinking about the paper, Mr. Yeager. Most students won’t start selecting topics for another week or two, so it’s promising that you’ve settled on one. I’d be happy to reserve some office hours for you later this week.”


Definitely not blushing, Eren grinned. “Thanks, Erw- I mean Professor Smith. I’d really appreciate it.”


“My pleasure. Oh, and Eren?”


Eren paused, already on his way out of the room, and noted that Erwin had called him by his first name. “Yes, Professor?”


“Try not to run away so quickly from my class in the future, okay?”


Those fucking eyes, with their twinkle. Yep, Eren was gone.




By the time Eren made it out of the lecture theatre, not only was Connie waiting, but Sasha had appeared out of nowhere. True to past form, she was munching away at a bag of chips, swatting Connie’s hand away whenever he tried to sneak some. Again, Eren wondered how Sasha managed to stay so fit while eating so much, but supposed she must’ve been blessed with a high metabolism as well as working out regularly.


“There you are,” Connie groaned when Eren found them, “thought I was gonna have to drag you away from Professor Hunk kicking and screaming.”


“That’s really the best you could come up with?” Eren mocked, before moving to hug Sasha in greeting. “Fancy seeing you here,” he said in greeting.


“Hey Eren! You and Connie are so lucky you have a class together, all I’ve got are stuck up literature nerds to keep me company.”


As they began walking away from the lecture hall, Connie scoffed. “I dunno, Eren was getting pretty passionate back there. Someone really wants to be the teacher’s pet, if you know what-”


Connie yelped as Eren punched him on the shoulder, before throwing him the finger. Eren wasn’t really that mad, and was actually grateful for the easy comradery he had with his new friends. Pushing Erwin out of his mind, he readjusted his bag and spoke up.


“What are you guys doing now? I’m free till after lunch.”


“Lucky,” Connie replied. “I have a software design tutorial now. Fucking sucks to not know what major I want, I’m left with all this random crap I don’t care about.”


Deciding not to point out that Connie must’ve picked the subject in the first place, Eren nodded sympathetically. Even if he had picked subjects he was actually interested in, he still didn’t have an end goal (or major, really) in mind. A second later, he turned to Sasha. “What’re you up to?”


“I’m free. Was gonna head over to the GSA room,” Sasha explained, spitting chip crumbs as she did so. “Hanji was telling me that some guy called Mike does a lot of baking, and there’s always something yummy in the fridge there.”


That seemed like a good enough excuse as any, even if it was typical of Sasha. Eren decided to tag along with her, and after parting ways with Connie, followed her through to the same building he’d been in just last week for his first GSA meeting.


The room was relatively empty when he arrived, save for Hanji herself and a few others, who were scattered about the various tables and sofas.


“Hey guys!” Hanji greeted as they entered, as cheerful as ever. “You here to kill some time?”


And despite Hanji having made it clear last week that Eren was welcome whenever he liked, he still felt a little self-conscious to invite himself in, even after having met a few more people over the weekend. Sasha, however, had no qualms about it, and was already diving for the small fridge in the corner. Shaking his head ruefully at her bluntness, Eren greeted Hanji for her.


“Yeah. Are we allowed to hang out here for a bit?”


“Of course! Here, I’ll introduce you to everyone, but after that you have to give me the details of Saturday night!”


Reddening a little at what she meant, Eren let himself be dragged around to the few others present, most of whom were studying or talking quietly amongst themselves. The first person he met was a pretty blonde girl named Petra, who was quietly reading a book in a corner armchair. She smiled when Hanji introduced him, and Eren remembered that she’d spent a fair amount of time with Levi at Historia’s party.


Next was Mike, the baker of the cookies that Sasha was currently devouring, who’s dirty blonde hair matched his darker facial hair. Between bites of cookie, Sasha thanked him for his kindness in sharing, and made sure to complement his baking talent. Mike looked a little stunned by her, but was still charmed by the girl’s oddness.


Historia and Ymir were also there, and while Ymir just grunted at him, Historia was quick to greet Eren with a warm hug. Hanji also told Eren and Sasha that Moblit was around, but had had to step out to make a call.


“Make yourselves at home, guys,” she cheered, before moving to sit back at her computer. “We’ve got this space for a reason, so may as make the most of it!”


Eren and Sasha did just that, relaxing on a set of comfortable looking sofas on the far side of the room. He chatted to the her about a few things here and there for a bit, before Sasha had to finish watching an online lecture.


Once she was done with whatever she’d been working on, Hanji all but raced over to sit with Eren.


“Sooo,” she began, her eyes wide with fake innocence. “How’d you sleep after the party on Saturday?”


Eren knew what she was getting at, and while he didn’t really care whether or not she knew, he was feeling confident enough around her to have a bit of fun.


“Yeah, I slept okay. Was pretty hungover the next day, though.”


Obviously upset that Eren wasn’t coming clean, Hanji pouted. “Ugh, fine. Just tell me, already. I already tried to grill Marco, but he just blushed and avoided me.”


“Are all the club presidents this nosy.”


“Only the ones that care, of course!”


Eventually, Eren settled on giving Hanji a brief confirmation that he and Marco had gone home together, mostly because she’d acted more as a friend then as the GSA president at the party, and that was something he’d tell a friend. He didn’t want to embarrass Marco by having it spread around (not that it was a big deal, and most people didn’t care), but he still swore Hanji to secrecy. After miming crossing her heart, Hanji got back to her work, leaving Eren to keep himself busy while he relaxed through his otherwise free day.


With not much school-work to do himself, Eren toyed around on his phone. Glancing at his two new messages, Eren arched an eyebrow.


Free to get lunch later today? – Mikasa, 9:32am


Hey Eren. Ran into Jean and got your number. Just wanted to say thanks for looking after me the other night. Marco x – Marco, 10:11am


Quickly typing back to Mikasa that he was free to meet up, Eren paused at the message from Marco. True, Marco had been a bit of a mess, but then again, so had he. If Marco hadn’t been there, he would’ve been the next most drunk one, falling over and otherwise embarrassing himself. Besides, they’d had fun on the way back, and Eren genuinely liked him, in the few conversations they’d had while lying around in bed on Sunday.


Not to mention, he was hot as fuck.


Hey :) Glad to see that you’re alive. Don’t worry about it, I had fun – Eren, 11:13am

Marco’s reply was almost instantaneous.


Me tooooo! Wanna catch up again? ;) – Marco, 11:14am


Glancing around the room, first at Sasha, and then at Hanji and the others, Eren tuned back to his phone, grinning. Marco was cute, and he liked him a lot. So even if he couldn’t see them going anywhere long-term, he was definitely up for seeing the guy again.


Of course – Eren, 11:16am




That night, Eren relaxed into his sheets, feeling decidedly in a good mood. He’d arranged to meet up with Marco that coming weekend, and would probably see him the next day anyway, at the Tuesday evening GSA meeting. And between hanging out with Connie, Sasha and the rest that day, and then getting to catch up with Mikasa for lunch, Eren was feeling far from lonely.


Not to mention, he’d finally cleared the air, at least somewhat, with Erwin.


He still liked the professor, that much was obvious. The attraction was ridiculous, but now was more of a fantasy than a legit crush. Still, at least he had Marco to keep his mind off the older blonde, and while Eren did feel a little guilty for thinking of Marco as a distraction, it worked at least to keep his thoughts about Erwin down to a minimum. Besides, Marco had promised to pay Eren back for the blowjob he’d gotten that weekend, which Eren was more than happy to accept.


It sent a thrilled shiver through him, the thought of getting to fool around more with the guy making him hard at the thought. Marco was hot, hotter than any guy Eren had been with before this, probably, and he was game for whatever the other guy wanted.


With him sleeping only in his underwear, it was easy to slip a hand down to grasp his hardening cock. What bothered Eren more was the fact that Jean was only a few metres away, lying in his own bed with his back to Eren. He looked still, but Eren couldn’t tell whether that meant he was asleep or not. Fighting down the inappropriate thrill that came with the thought of jacking off in danger of being caught, Eren caressed himself, until he was hard and pushing against his boxers.


As he stroked over his cock, trying to make as little noise as possible, Eren wandered if Jean had ever done this while he’d been asleep. They’d only been roommates for a short while, and so there hadn’t been any awkward situations revolving around that issue, apart from Eren bringing Marco home. But they’d just slept in bed together then, with nothing sexual actually happening, and apart from his typical grouchiness, Jean hadn’t seemed to care too much.


Fuck. Eren probably shouldn’t have been thinking about Jean wanking, while he himself was trying to get off.


Eren kept stroking his cock, trying to work out if it was best to go the bathroom to finish, or to try and quietly clean himself up in bed. He was getting close, and as he twisted his hand a second later, he rubbed over the slit of his cock, biting his lip at the sensitive twitch it sent through him.


“You’re jacking off, aren’t you?”


The words cut through the air like ice, and Eren froze. Jean still hadn’t moved from his position lying away from Eren, but it was clear he’d been caught. Heart hammering in his chest, Eren swallowed thickly.


“Fuck. Sorry,” he apologised, feeling his face redden.


To his surprise, Jean didn’t anger like Eren had expected him too. With the guy being such an uptight prick most of the time, he’d thought that this would be the final straw, that Jean would explode and finally make good on his promise of smacking Eren.


Instead, Jean rolled over, his hair a little dishevelled but otherwise looking composed. And then Eren noticed that one of his own arms was covered under the sheets, angled in a way that was evident to what he’d been up to as well. The guy wasn’t moving, or anything, but even through the darkness of the night, Eren could see the slight rise and fall of his chest, now that he was lying on his back.


Holy shit.


“Can’t believe we only lasted a week before having to do this,” Jean laughed, almost in a self-deprecating way. “I was getting so sick of doing it in the shower.”


And yeah, Eren could agree to that. After so many years of being used to having his own space, it’d been an adjustment period to have someone else around. Having to wait for times when Jean wasn’t around the room, or try and rush while taking a shower had been taxing, too say the least. And it spoke volumes that Eren had been caught the first time he’d tried to surreptitiously get off while Jean was around. He wasn’t used to having to sneak around, not in the comfort of his own space at least.


Still, Eren appreciated that Jean was trying to ease the awkwardness. “I’m surprised we got this far. Two horny dudes who are both into dudes? It’s a fucking recipe for disaster.”


Jean snorted from his bed, and for a second, was quiet. Eren wandered if that was the end of it, if he’d have to roll over and try to will his erection away, because there was no way he could go back to beating off now. Not when the air was so thick with tension, the both of them keenly aware of the other’s movements.


Eren had just resigned himself to a restless sleep when Jean spoke again, his voice shaky.


“You still hard?”


“… Yeah. You?”


“What do you think, dumbass?”


God, Jean was such an arrogant little shit.


But Eren could practically feel the other man’s nervousness, his heart probably beating as hard and fast as Eren’s. Not really sure what to do, Eren gripped his cock a little harder, tentatively rubbing over the shaft. Despite himself, Eren found himself hoping for something a little more than just finishing off like this.


And clearly, Jean agreed with him.


“Well?” Jean all but demanded a minute or so later, after more awkward silence. The other guy sounded cocky, but Eren could hear the quiver in his tone. “What are you waiting for? Get the fuck over here.”


Startled but excited, Eren did as he asked, readjusting his boxers to hide his erection as he climbed out of his bed and walked across the room. Jean was already shuffling over to the far side of his bed, and Eren hesitantly sat down in the cleared spot. The sheets were warm with Jean’s body heat, but Eren tried not to think too hard about that as he clumsily settled down on the bed next to the other man. His eyes had adjusted enough to the dark that he could roughly see around him. Jean looked calm, but his shaky breaths betrayed him, making Eren glad he wasn’t the only nervous one.


An excited chill ran through Eren’s body, and he shivered a little as Jean’s arms moved under the blankets that covered up to his waist. He couldn’t see the other man’s dick but the fact that he was clearly stroking his himself made Eren even harder. Unlike Eren, Jean had a singlet on, but the bottom had ridden up enough to show his abs and trail of hair leading to the top of the blankets. And when Eren looked back to Jean’s face, the other man was staring at him with an intense gaze, lips slightly parted as he breathed out.


Fuck, this was actually happening.


Almost as if in slow motion, one of Jean’s hands surfaced from under the duvet, and after a second in which it stayed frozen in the air, came to rest over Eren’s abs.


“This okay?” And god, Jean’s voice sounded so husky Eren almost whined out loud.


Eren nodded. “Yeah, go for it.” Jean’s long fingers stroked over his abs with featherlight touches, both of them acutely aware of the tent in Eren’s boxers only a few inches downward. The graze of Jean’s fingernails was delicate, and had Eren shivering as he reclined fully on the bed, so that he was lying down next to Jean. His own hand patted over the blankets, not yet feeling brave enough to go under, but instead stroked over the top. He could feel the hardness of Jean’s other wrist (and dick, he thought with a thrill) underneath, but Jean hadn’t moved to touch him like that, so Eren remained there.


“You… have nice abs.” Eren didn’t know why Jean was whispering, but it made what they were doing seem even more taboo, as if there were other people in the room with them.


“Thanks,” Eren breathed back, before laughing a little at how awkward they sounded. The two of them had settled into an easy, if biting, comradery in the last week, but this was brand new for them. And Jean was obviously thinking the same thing, judging by how silent he was.


Jean’s breaths were hot against Eren’s cheek, and it took a second for him to realise that that meant the guy was looking at him. Eren turned, and as they locked eyes, Jean’s fingers finally dipped under the waistband of his boxers and around his cock, making Eren gasp. That made Jean chuckle softly, but his expression was tender and open as he gently stroked over Eren’s shaft. There was a thumb teasing the head of his dick, and Eren knew that Jean would be feeling the wetness of his precum, which had probably already made a wet back on his boxers.


Eren suddenly became acutely aware that this was likely the first cock Jean had ever touched, apart from his own.


“Fuck, nice dick too,” Jean said with a smirk, before leaning in. For a second Eren thought that he was going for a kiss, but Jean just rested their foreheads together. Eren’s shakily exhaled, no doubt giving Jean the same hot breath that he was feeling.


And shit, Eren needed to repay the favour as well. Jean was already shrugging the duvet aside and shit, that was his cock poking out from the waistband of his underwear. Maybe it was because Eren had known Jean for a while now, but the sight of actually seeing his cock felt a little surreal, at least more so than with the other men he’d been with. Realising that he was just staring at it, Eren tucked the waistband of Jean’s boxer briefs under his balls, before wrapping a hand around the shaft.


Jean’s dick was actually pretty similar to Eren’s, if a bit thinner. It was a comfortable size, and almost felt natural in his hand. Like him, Jean was uncut, meaning that Eren didn’t need to search for lube. The light patch of hair around the base tickled the back of Eren’s hand, and a second later Jean bucked lightly into his grip, a small whimper escaping past his lips.


“S-shit,” he grunted, and Eren grinned a little breathlessly, still not really believing that this was happening.


They were close to each other on the bed, shoulders touching and their inner legs curled around each other. And despite the fact that he and Jean were jacking each other off, their closeness was the part that intimate to Eren. Jean’s chest was pressed against his side, and Eren could feel the rise and fall of his ribs, skin warm against his own.


“M’not gonna last much longer,” Eren groaned, the last word sounding strained when Jean pumped his wrist harder and rubbed over the head with his thumb.


Jean scoffed into his ear. “Yeah, I’m close too.”


He sounded wrecked, and it was a little comforting to Eren to know that Jean was as much affected by this as he was. It was mainly physical attraction, but the sheer thrill of being this close to his friend, something that Jean obviously shared, had them both gasping, foreheads still pressed together and lips only inches apart.


Jean’s cock felt amazing in his hand, and Eren grunted again as he rubbed his thumb over the slit. He could feel precum beginning to coat the inside of his palm, a clear indication that Jean was close. Fighting back the urge to move down and take Jean’s cock into his mouth, Eren settled for savouring its feel in his hand, heavy and warm and so fucking glorious. Eren could feel a particularly thick vein under his fingers, and wanted to lean down to lick at it, but then Jean was grunting louder and bucking his hips again.


“Fuuuck,” the other man groaned, and then he was coming, thick ropes of his cum splashing over Eren’s hand and then onto Jean’s stomach. Eren kept pumping, letting Jean’s hips stutter as he moaned his way through his climax, more cum spilling out until the last lot dribbled lightly over Eren’s skin.


Eren himself wasn’t too far off, and once Jean regained his composure, he doubled down on finishing his partner. As his arm jacked faster and harder than before, Eren whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut for a second. When he opened them, Jean was back to looking at him, his earlier vulnerability now replaced with a devious smirk, lips curving upwards and showing off his teeth.


“That’s it, Eren. Cum for me, you feel so fucking good in my hand, can’t wait to see you blow…”


The words kept coming, and combined with Jean’s increased stimulation, Eren soon tumbled over the edge, muffling his cry into Jean’s shoulder as he came. Closing his eyes again, Eren let Jean nurse him through his orgasm, sparks dancing across his eyelids as he calmed down. All the while, he could hear Jean whispering into his ear, before eventually the man stopped and rolled away.


When Eren finally opened his eyes again, Jean was staring at him with an unreadable expression, and for a horrible few seconds Eren could envision their friendship ruined because of this, a line crossed that they couldn’t undo.


But then Jean was smirking again at him. “Fucking hell, Yeager, you took your time. My arm was burning it took so long.”


“You’re just jealous,” Eren fired back, the crashing relief that everything was okay washing over him. He rolled off of the bed, letting his boxers fall to the floor as he stepped out of them and moved towards the bathroom. “Better work on that stamina of yours, Jean. Don’t wanna disappoint another guy one day.”


Jean swore back at him, but Eren was already in the bathroom, reaching for some tissues to clean himself off. Suddenly, a thought crossed his mind, and after checking to make sure Jean hadn’t followed him, he brought his hand up to his lips and gently licked a small amount of cum off. It was saltier than he was used to, but not unpleasant, and as Eren grinned a little breathlessly to himself in the mirror and cleaned his hand off with tissues, he supposed that he wouldn’t mind swallowing down more of it, if the occasion ever arose.


When Eren made his way back to the main room with tissues for Jean, the other man had rolled back to the centre of the bed. Eren took that as a silent sign that Jean didn’t want Eren back in there and yeah, Jean didn’t seem like a cuddler. Tossing some extra tissues Jean’s way, Eren scooped up his underwear from the floor, taking one last moment to ogle Jean’s body and cock before he got dressed again and fell back onto his bed.


“Hey, Eren?” Jean’s voice forced Eren’s eyes open a minute or so later, and he realised that he’d been dozing off.




There was a beat of silence, before Jean continued. “Let’s not make a big deal out of this, yeah? We’re two roommates who both like dick, shit like this is expected.”


And while Eren was tempted to fire back something scathing, a natural resort in their usual banter, he recognised that Jean was trying to be sincere here, and what he responded with would affect their friendship going forward.


So he nodded, mostly to himself, before clearing his throat. “Yeah, I know. And Jean?”


“What, shithead?”


“… Thanks.”






Eren wasn’t sure how much time had passed. Minutes probably, but it felt like hours.


As moonlight reflected through the nearby window and cascaded over the floor, Levi paced back and forth. Occasionally, he’d reach up to pinch his nose, which was still dripping blood from where he’d been punched. It didn’t look broken, but really, that was the least of their worries.


“We need to get rid of the body,” Eren stated, finally.


Levi turned on him, his expression murderous. “No shit, Yeager. I thought we’d just leave the asshole like this for the cops to find.”


Sarcasm aside, Levi was right. But even though he didn’t look overly panicked, Eren knew Levi well enough by now to know that the guy was distressed. He was hiding the majority of his panic well, and had likely never seen a dead body before, even with the business he and his family were in.


Unfortunately, Eren had seen a body before.


When he reached for his phone, Levi looked at him incredulously. “Who are you calling? We can’t tell anyone about this!”


Eren just ignored him, because goddamn, he was so fucking tired. He just wanted to rest. It should’ve been worrying to him that he wasn’t reacting normally to what he’d done, to who he’d killed, but fuck it, he was done with this shit. He knew that soon, it would sink in, the true weight of what he’d done. But right now he was numb, and he needed to use that time to get shit done.


He needed the one person who’d be able to understand him. The one who would know what to do.


Ignoring Levi’s questioning, Eren dialled the number and put the phone to his bloody ear. Thankfully, it answered on the third ring.


“Eren? Where are you? We’ve been looking all-”


“Mikasa,” Eren cut off, his voice oddly calm, “I need to you come find me. Don’t tell anyone where you’re going, and come alone.”


“Eren? Are you okay?”


“I’m fine, but-” He paused, catching his breath. “What happened seven years ago, to do with your parents? I’ve done it again, and I need your help.”

Chapter Text

Then. Seven Weeks Ago


To say Eren was infatuated by Erwin Smith was an understatement. He’d already been before today, of course, but after hearing his professor wax poetic about his opinions on the founding of Shiganshina, a deep sense of admiration had taken root alongside the blatant attraction. Of course, it helped that the topic was relevant to him, being from Shiganshina and all, which had originally started out as quite a poor town, before elevating itself in the last few generations to be a rising area of interest in the national economy.


“I think you’re on the right train of thought, Eren,” Erwin was saying from across his desk as he glanced over the notes Eren had compiled. “Comparing the recent boom in the modernisation within the province of Maria to that of Rose and Sina, and specifically Shiganshina to Trost itself, would make for a very interesting paper. Just be sure to keep the historical aspects at the forefront of your piece of work. This is, after all, a modern history subject.”


Eren nodded, drinking in the words. While he was predominantly interested in science, he’d been weirdly taken by Erwin’s lectures on modern history, and was eager to apply that to his own background. He knew that compared to many of the students here, who were mostly from Trost or another town in the Rose province, he was a rarity, coming from Shiganshina.


And even thought he wouldn’t admit it to him, Eren loved the rush of pride he got from impressing Erwin.


Even after being in his presence for two weeks worth of lectures, Eren was still taken with how stunning the man was. He was tall, taller than most people Eren knew, and muscular in a way that was clearly evident, even under his suit. Erwin wasn’t massively bulky, like Reiner, who was just ridiculously jacked, but he was still beefy enough that Eren could dream of being carried around by him, thrown against the wall of his office and-


Okay, he needed to get a grip. He was not going to get a boner in his professor’s office.


But it was hard, so fucking hard. Because even with everything about Erwin’s build that had Eren salivating, his face was even more captivating. A strong jaw, with full lips, and a winning smile that made Eren flush every time he received it. His perfectly cropped hair, shaved on the sides but longer on top, with the blonde strands styles perfectly. And the perfect nose, framed by his piercing azure eyes, which Eren felt like he could get lost in for days.


God, he was a mess.


And when Erwin spoke, his voice washed over Eren like a wave. Rich and throaty, with the tone that could’ve had Eren whimpering without him even trying.


“I think,” Erwin continued, bringing Eren back to reality, “that this is the genesis of a particularly inspiring piece of work, Eren. I’d like to see your progress on this paper, beyond just the final submission. Please, feel free to keep me up to date with your progress on your research, and I’ll try to provide some feedback for your writing.”


Eren was blushing, he could tell. Erwin could probably tell as well, but as always, his face was a mask. Swallowing, Eren nodded.


“Thank you, Professor Smith. Would I be able to come by in your office hours next week as well?”


Erwin chuckled. “It would be my pleasure. And please, Eren, call me Erwin.”




“Oh fuck,” Eren grunted, as Marco bobbed his head again, taking even more of him into his mouth.


Marco hummed, clearly pleased with the praise, and as he continued to slide his lips over Eren’s shaft, made sure to look up at him. It was a fucking amazing sight, with Marco’s lips stretched around him, cheeks hollowed in and eyes blown wide. He looked both insanely sexy yet adorable at the same time, his hair hanging low over his eyes at the front.


Fuck, Eren could play dot-to-dot with those freckles.


It was beautiful to watch, and Eren became particularly entranced with the way the midday sun shone on Marco’s left cheek. They had Marco’s dorm room to themselves, with his roommate having gone home for the weekend. So, after putting on some music to mask any sounds, Marco had all but thrown Eren on the bed, the two of them making out for a few minutes before he’d started kissing his way down Eren’s body. There’d been very little preamble, and Eren knew they’d chat later, after this was over, but right now all he wanted to keep feeling Marco on his dick.


As Marco bobbed his head over and over again, Eren groaned at the wetness of the mouth on him, the feel of the man’s tongue massaging the underside of his shaft. Every now and then there was the slight graze of teeth, but Eren didn’t mind that too much, especially not when Marco made up for it with sheer enthusiasm. The guy was moaning around Eren’s dick, making noises like a pornstar, and it sent shivers down Eren’s spine to know that they weren’t fake. Marco was that into him.


And so Eren couldn’t help but swear softly when Marco let his cock slip into the back of his throat. Marco gagged a little as his cock slid down his throat and yeah, Eren was in fucking heaven. He held back the urge to buck his hips, not wanting to make Marco splutter any more than he already was. The lips around him were bright red, plump and flushed as they slipped over him, and Eren couldn’t resist the urge to trace them with a finger at the same time as Marco worked his cock.


“Your fucking mouth, man,” Eren crooned, unable to help himself. “You’re killing me.”


Marco was smiling up at Eren as he pulled off to suckle at the head, before kissing down the shaft to Eren’s balls. He took one into his mouth, and as he rolled it over his tongue, Eren arched into him, his back lifting clean off the bed. His cock was laid over Marco’s nose and face, and jut the sight of that, not to mention the tongue on his sac, almost had Eren cumming everywhere.


But Marco pulled back a second later, as if sensing how close Eren had been, and as he rubbed Eren with his hand, he climbed up the bed to capture his lips. They kissed wetly, and as Eren licked deep into Marco’s mouth, the other man wrapped his hand around both of their cocks. Groaning against him, Marco grinded down on Eren, moving so that he was straddling him and Eren was bucking his hips into the man’s grip.


“So,” Marco began, pulling back from Eren momentarily to look down at him with a crooked grin, “Can I ask you something?”


“Yeah, go for it,” Eren said breathlessly.


Instead of replying straight way, Marco took his hand off their dicks, and after gripping both of Eren’s wrists, moved them to place his hands on his ass.


“I prepped myself this morning,” Marco finally murmured, before leaning into peck Eren on the lips again. “Was kinda hoping you’d fuck me.”


And yep, Eren was all in on that idea. His response came in the form of a desperate groan, fingers digging into the flesh of Marco’s ass cheeks. Marco chuckled against his lips, leaning forward to grind his perineum down on Eren’s hard length. He slid forward on him, to the point where Eren almost slipped into the cleft of his ass and fuck, Marco was so much more dangerous than Eren had thought.


It didn’t take long for Eren to flip them over, and with Marco spread out on his back, Eren followed his directions to find a condom and a bottle of lube in his bedside drawer. By the time Eren had squirted a dollop onto his fingers, Marco had spread his legs wide, giving Eren the view of light, dark hairs around his hole. They were both still rock hard, but they ignored their dicks in favour of what was to come, and after warming up the lube coating his fingers, Eren placed a finger against Marco’s hole.


Marco had clearly stretched himself out a little already, as Eren’s index fingers slipped in without much resistance. Exhaling softly, Eren could feel his lips part a little in wonder, as he slowly pushed in until his knuckle was pressing against the rim. Marco whined, long and needy, and as Eren slowly glided in and out of him, Marco reached down to start jacking himself off.


“Fuck,” Eren breathed. It’d been way too long since he’d fingered someone. “You look amazing. I could do this all day, Marco.”


“Well put another one in then,” Marco all but growled back, but there was a strained curve to his lips, caught in the need of the moment.


Eren didn’t need any further encouragement, and slipped a second digit in alongside the first. There was a bit more tightness this time, and although Marco winced a little, a few more minutes of Eren scissoring his fingers soon had the dark-haired boy ready for a third. And when Eren had three fingers in him, he couldn’t but lean in to kiss the muscled rim around them, because fucking hell Marco looked so goddamn pretty.


“Feels good,” Marco panted, as Eren arched his fingers to where he knew the prostate to be. “Fuck- do that again.”


Obliging him, Eren took the time to play with Marco’s hole, adding a bit more lube to his three fingers as he did so. He rubbed the buds of his fingers over Marco’s inner walls, stretching him wide until the tension around him lessened. Marco relaxed more around him, and while kept jacking himself off, Eren leaned in to nip at the flesh of his thigh.


“You good?” he asked, bending his fingers one more time for good measure.


Marco nodded, already looking wrecked. “Uh huh. Wanna ride you.”


And Eren was cool with that. Withdrawing his fingers, he wiped them on a nearby towel Marco had grabbed earlier, before reaching for the condom packet. A second later, it was Eren who was on his back once again, with Marco over him and lining himself up with Eren’s cock. He felt his head press against Marco’s hole, and moaned brokenly. Fucking hell, he needed this, and by the look of it, so did Marco. Because a second later the other man was sinking down on Eren, his muscled rim giving way to let Eren intrude into his body.


“Oh,” Marco grunted, his mouth open in an otherwise silent ‘o’.


Despite himself, Eren grinned, biting his bottom lip. He let Marco settle down to the base, so that his ass was pressed flush against Eren’s hips. Knowing he was bigger than average, and definitely thicker than most, Eren stayed still to let Marco adjust to his girth. The dark-haired man’s brow was scrunched up, and for a second Eren was worried that it was too much for him, but then he opened his eyes and grinned breathlessly at Eren.


“That feels so good, Eren. Oh my god I’m in love with your dick.”


Well, that was another point in Eren’s favour, and even if he grinned devilishly back at Marco, inside his heart stuttered with the praise. He remained still, until Marco finally settled in enough to begin moving. Starting with a gentle rock, Marco kept his spot around the base of Eren’s dick, stuttering his hips in a long, gyrating movement.


“Just like that,” Eren crooned, feeling on top of the world. “Take it slow, you’re doing great.”


Marco smirked slightly at the comment, and after a bit longer finally pulled off Eren’s cock, rising up on his knees until just the head remained inside him. Before Eren could even groan at the sight, Marco sank back down, slamming down on Eren harder than he’d expected. That got a broken shout from both of them, Marco’s voice rising both in pitch and volume as he quickly made the same motion again. The strokes started off long but deep, with Marco taking all the control, but it wasn’t long before he was passing it off to Eren, who began to buck his hips in response.


Whining at the feel of Marco clenching hard around him, the man’s ass smacked against Eren’s hips as he thrusted up into the other man. Soon, the sound of skin slapping on skin echoed throughout the room, sounding so filthy that Marco actually had to pause to turn the music up on his phone, so that they wouldn’t get caught. Kneeling on the bed either side of Eren’s hips, Marco had braced himself further with his hands splayed on Eren’s chest, and as he leaned over to meet Eren’s thrusts, his hard cock rocked back between their bodies.


Eren’s own hands had come to rest on Marco’s ass, gripping him hard and helping to make their bodies rock better against one another. His was breath was coming in harsh gasps, and even as his abs burned from the repeated bucking motion over and over again off of the bed, Eren never wanted the feeling to stop. Marco leaned further forward to press his mouth to Eren’s, the kiss messy and desperate enough to mostly be tongues licking over each other.


When Marco pulled back, a strong of spit connected their lips, and Eren growled hungrily, pushing higher into Marco’s hole and pulling the other man down to meet him.


“Fuck, Eren,” Marco panted, looking so goddamn sweet with his fringe hanging low and biting his bottom lip.


It didn’t take long after that for Eren to flip them over, so that he was towering over Marco. Legs spread wide in the air either side of him, and as he slid back in with one long thrust, he leaned down to kiss the man again.


“Fuck me,” Marco breathed against him, voice quiet but needy. “Hard.”


With a low grunt, Eren did just that, clenching his teeth as he felt himself stretch Marco open once again. He hooked an arm under one of the other man’s legs, pulling it up to his chest while Marco grabbed the other and held it tight to his own body. Eren could see the haze of need on the other man’s face, and knew it was reflected on his own.


His hips moving rhythmically, Eren pounded into Marco over and over again, pushing Marco’s body into the bed with each thrust. Marco groaned, long and drawn out as he reached down to wrap a hand around his cock. Fuck, he felt so good around Eren, clenching him tight and feeling so fucking warm. He needed more, needed Marco to moan for him, to call out his name. Marco breathed out loudly, his voice hitching in time with each thrust of Eren’s cock in him, spearing him and spreading him open. Eren could feel the walls of Marco’s body hugging his cock, his hole squeezing it tight and gripping its thickness.


“Fuck,” Eren growled, uncharacteristically roughly. He followed it up by biting the muscle of Marco’s calf from where it was slung against his shoulder, making the man cry out in need.


Eren reached down with his free hand, running the palm over Marco’s abs before gripping his left pec hard, fingers digging into Marco’s skin. Marco’s mouth fell open in a soundless gasp, his face slack as Eren’s hips rocketed forward again and again, making his body shake with each thrust. He was distantly aware of the bed shifting along the floor as they fucked, the force of Eren’s motions making it skid softly. Glad that the music was still loud enough to cover them, Eren grinned hungrily when Marco’s gasps quickly became mewls, rising in pitch and becoming more desperate the harder and faster Eren went.


“Ohgodohgodohgod,” Marco was chanting, making Eren’s head rush with the power of making someone feel that way.


He could feel himself getting closer to the edge, and judging by the way Marco’s hand was jittering around his own cock, the other guy wasn’t too far off either. Feeling on top of the world, Eren pounded back and forth, slamming into Marco with enough force to feel like he was pushing the air out of the guy’s lungs. It felt empowering as fuck, and Eren panted, long and hard, as he felt his vision blur and little and his balls tighten.


“I’m gonna cum,” he grunted out, and Marco’s mouth dropped open.


“Do it, Eren.”


A few more thrusts later and Eren was spilling inside the condom, doing his best to keep from shouting out too loud as his repetitive movements stuttered and he closed his eyes as the world lurched a little. His muscles twitched, and while holding onto Marco’s leg tightly, Eren pressed his face into the calf as he fucked through his orgasm.


By the time he finally calmed down, Marco was still pumping furiously at his cock, and so Eren shook himself out of his haze and slid out, quickly replacing his softening cock with his two fingers. It only took a few rubs against the man’s prostate before Marco was cumming too, moaning deeply as his splattered white fluid all over his stomach and chest. Eren hummed happily as he watched it happened, stroking over his prostate a few more times, only pulling back out when Marco finally fell back onto the mattress, spent.


For a few moments, they just lay there, Eren with his head right near Marco’s used hole. Then, Marco laughed, breathlessly.


“And I thought you giving head was you at your best, fucking hell.”




Eren hummed to himself, enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun as he strolled across campus, on his way back from Marco’s dorm building. Once again, he was made thankful that his parents had been willing to pay for him to stay in a dorm with private bathrooms, especially after he and Marco had had to go to the communal showers to clean off afterward.


Sure, there were cubicles for privacy, but it meant that they couldn’t really fool around while there, in case someone else wondered why there were two people in the one stall.


Still, it probably worked out for the best that he and Marco had to keep their hands to themselves in the bathroom, because otherwise Eren was pretty sure he wouldn’t have left. He had class the next morning, one of Erwin’s lectures, and Eren wanted to get a bit more studying done that afternoon, as he’d been relatively slack that weekend.


On his way back, Eren walked past the park area that he’d blown Marco in the last weekend, and smirked to himself. Still not really able to believe that he’d done that, he carried on, only pausing when he recognised a face among the people nearby.


Levi was leaning against the outer wall of one of the campus buildings, a cigarette dangling from between his fingers. As usual, he was wearing all dark clothes, with tight, ripped jeans hugging his legs and a large jacket around his shoulders. He was standing with two others, one of which Eren recognised to be Petra, and another man with blonde hair tied back, that Eren remembered from the party last week but didn’t know the name of.


Not sure whether to approach them or not, Eren’s decision was made when Petra glanced up, her pretty features brightening as she smiled and waved at him.


“Hey Eren!”


The other two men followed his gaze to him, and while manbun-guy nodded in greeting, Eren was more concerned with Levi’s reaction. The shorter man was staring at him, his expression as unreadable as always, but as Eren approached them, he tipped his head back in acknowledgement.


“Where are you coming from?” Petra asked as he reached them, taking a drag of her own cigarette. It was an unpleasant odour, but Eren had long gotten used to it. His half-brother, Zeke, had been smoking since high school, much to the annoyance of his parents.


Deciding to be honest, Eren smiled sheepishly. “I was just hanging out with Marco. I’m on my way back to my dorm to get some work done before dinner.”


Petra and the manbun guy chuckled, while Levi stayed silent. “I thought I heard Hanji saying you two had hit it off,” Petra giggled. “You guys were so cute together at Historia’s.”


Eren flushed a little at that, and Levi scoffed.


“Great, another doe-eyed couple to make me feel sick.”


“You’re just jealous Levi,” Petra shot back, before arching up on her tiptoes to peck manbun-guy on the cheek. “Don’t worry, one day you’ll find someone who doesn’t have to bend down to kiss you.”


Manbun-guy laughed with her, and although he tried to hold it in, Eren let a small snicker escape his lips. And while Levi didn’t really appear scathed by Petra’s jab, he rolled his eyes and nudged her on the shoulder.


“God, I come out here for a smoke, and instead get hounded by you brats. Remind me why I put up with you again?”


Petra grinned and leap over to hug Levi, despite the fact that the smaller man was doing a great impression of a cat who’d just been doused with water. He looked adorably displeased with her, and Eren had to cover his smirk with his hand. Sure, he was taller than Levi, like most other people that weren’t named Connie or Historia, but he sure as hell wouldn’t mind stooping down every now and then.


For the next few minutes, Eren chatted easily with Petra and manbun-guy, who he found out was her boyfriend, Eld. They were both nice, and while Eld was pretty hot, he was clearly head over heels for Petra. Glad in the fact that Eren had made some more inroads with some of the older members of the GSA, he was actually a little disappointed when Eld glanced at his phone.


“We need to get back, Petra,” he said, at least looking a tad regretful. “Gotta get ready for dinner with the folks,” he mentioned as way of explanation to Eren.


Eren nodded in understanding, and after saying goodbye to both of them, was left with Levi. The man just stared at him again, before taking a drag of his cigarette.


Feeling out of place, Eren remembered Levi’s earlier annoyance. “Sorry, I’ll leave you alone if you-”


“Stay, if you want. I only said that to piss Petra off.”


Eren blinked in surprise at the directness of Levi’s words, but didn’t move from where he was. A second later, Levi was reaching into his pocket.


“You smoke?”


Shaking his head, Eren stopped Levi. “Ah, no. Sorry.”


“Why are you saying sorry to me? I don’t care.”


Fuck, even the off-handed way that Levi talked to people was weirdly attractive to Eren. Shuffling his feet, he glanced at the ground.


“… Don’t you care that it’s horrible for your health?” The part of him that was the son of a doctor couldn’t help but ask.


But instead of getting annoyed, Levi surprised Eren by letting out a short laugh. “Trust me, brat. I’ll be dead long before this shit gets to me.”


Well. Eren wasn’t really sure what to say in response to that. Caught off guard, he chuckled softly at Levi’s bluntness, before glancing down at the backpack at Levi’s feet. The top zipper was open, with a few coloured flyers poking out that caught his attention.


“Are those…?”


“For the fundraiser? Fuck, you’re a nosy little shit, aren’t you?”


Instead of getting embarrassed at that, Eren just beamed back at him, wide and true. “It’s all part of my charm.”


Levi stared back at him with an incredulous expression, which for some reason just made Eren’s grin widen. He enjoyed chatting with this cynical, sneering man, and after a few missteps that Levi hadn’t cared about, he was at a point where he felt like he could do no wrong.


After a second, Levi scoffed and let out another puff of smoke. “I’m meant to be pinning them up around campus for Shitty Glasses. Don’t even know how I got roped into this shit, I’m meant to start work in two hours. It was supposed to be Moblit’s job, but I guess them’s the perks of banging the boss.”


And if Eren was being honest, he probably wouldn’t have trusted Levi with the job either. He didn’t know what the guys actual job was, but he seemed like the kind of guy that would probably scare off anyone interested in the fundraiser while hanging the flyers up. Surely someone else, like Petra or Historia or even Mike, would’ve been better suit for the job.


At least Hanji hadn’t given them to Ymir…


“Do you want some help?” Eren asked him, before he could think twice.


Levi quirked an eyebrow. “I thought you said you needed to study?”


“Meh. Who needs good grades. I’d rather stick around and watch you frighten innocent freshmen.”


“I’m pretty sure I hate you.”




Later, after having to steer Levi away from killing a girl who’d pinned her poster for her literature club over theirs, Eren remembered something.


“Oh, by the way,” he started, catching Levi’s attention, “Marco and I aren’t a couple.”


“You think I care who you fuck?”


“No, I just- you said… ugh, never mind.”


Eren turned away, but not before he caught Levi’s smirk.




The next morning, as Eren into the history lecture theatre, Connie nudged him on the arm as he joined him.


“Soooo,” Connie began, looking at Eren with a sideways smirk. “Sasha and I ran into Marco last night when we were grabbing dinner.”


Even without the lecherous tone of voice, Eren could see from a mile away what Connie was getting at. Still, he kept his face blank and innocent, looking back at Connie with wide eyes as they sat down in the back row.


“Oh, cool. How’s he been?”


Connie just punched Eren on the shoulder. “You dog!” He cheered.


“I didn’t know anyone talked like that still, dude…”


“I didn’t know you were a total freak in the sheets,” Connie shot straight back, his eyes wide and teasing. “Come on, man, you gotta tell me your secret. O’ Grand Master, how do I become a sex god like you?”


Connie held the question with a straight face for a moment, but a second later the two of them were pissing themselves laughing. The three girls who had sat down in front of them were staring at them with confused expressions, clearly judging the fuck out of them. Eren didn’t care if they thought he was weird, because really, he was a bit of a weird dude. And Connie was clearly batshit, given how he was still cackling away at his own joke, which hadn’t even been that funny.


When the girls looked away and the two of them calmed down, Connie wiped his eyes. “Seriously, though, Marco was talking about you like you were some kind of messiah. We knew the two of you went home together after Historia’s, but really?”


Eren was fine with Marco throwing him praise, even if it did make him a little embarrassed. He’d rather it be that then anything negative, at least. Still, it was comforting to know that he still had it, even if his game when talking to guys remained pretty pathetic. He was still the same awkward guy who had to constantly make sure he kept his anger in check, even if he now clearly was gaining a reputation. At least from what Connie was saying.


“One day, young one,” Eren began, putting on the wisest voice he could, “you too will learn my ways.”


Snorting softly, Connie nodded with wide eyes, in mock-awe. “And when will you teach me how to deepthroat like you-”


“Good morning, class,” Erwin boomed as he walked down the aisle, passing right next to Eren and Connie in that instant. Connie let out an embarrassed squeak and stopped short, ducking his head down into his books. Eren, on the other hand, froze, already feeling the blood rush to his cheeks. Erwin didn’t glance their way as he set up his equipment, and as he began the lecture, Eren let out a shaky breath.


“Do you think he heard?” he asked Connie, nervously.


Everyone heard, you fucking moron,” one of the girls responded instead, hissing over her shoulder before continuing to tap away at her laptop.


About halfway through the lecture, Erwin glanced his way. And Eren wasn’t sure whether he imagined it or not, but he thought he noticed the slight uptick of the man’s lips.




“I’ve heard you’ve had an interesting weekend,” Mikasa said, almost the moment Eren sat down with her for dinner that night.


Eren groaned, slumping back in his chair. His sister’s face was serious, but Eren could see the amusement glowing behind her pupils.


“Fucking hell, at this rate I’m gonna get an angry call from Mom next.”


Mikasa reached over the table, placing her hand on Eren’s. “I think it’s good, Eren. I know we never really talked about your last… relationship,” she said, after a moment’s pause. “But I spoke to Marco at Historia’s last week. He seems like a nice guy.”


Instead of comforting him, Mikasa’s pure sincerity that only she could muster just made Eren redden further. “Mikasa,” he complained, sounding more like a child than anything else, “It’s not some serious thing. We’re just hanging out and… stuff.”


“Well that’s good for him, because after Thomas, I’ve decided to up my role as the overprotective sister.”


“Please don’t talk to Marco about it,” Eren said quickly, now worried. “Besides, what happened with Thomas was my fault. I shouldn’t have got so angry.”




“Sup, losers.” Suddenly, Jean appeared next to them, with a tray of food he’d collected from the shitty catering bar the dormitory provided on weeknights. Mikasa had chosen to eat over at their dorm, which was becoming more and more of a common occurrence. Apparently, she hated most of the girls in her dorm, and apart from spending time with Annie every now and then, preferred to eat with Eren and Jean.


Thankful for the distraction, Eren just stuck his tongue out at Jean in return, which got a raised eyebrow from the other man. The prior conversation now done, Eren let Mikasa and Jean talk for a bit, focusing on shovelling down the pathetic excuse for a dinner the college had supplied.


“So, I spoke to Armin,” Mikasa mentioned a bit later, and Eren’s ears perked up. “It’s almost exam time for their semester, he’s a bit stressed out at the moment.”


Eren just rolled his eyes. “Please, Armin does this all the time, remember? Gets super worried that he’s going to fail, and then pulls out a near perfect score. God, I hate people like that.”


He really didn’t, though. He could never hate Armin.


“Marlowe’s been on his case again, as well.”


“Wait, wait, wait” Jean cut in, after finishing his mouthful. “This Marlowe guy is still the kid with the bowl-cut, right?” When Eren and Mikasa nodded, Jean snorted. “What a douche. You never trust a someone with a bowl-cut, okay? Your friend should just have him shot.”


Eren snickered. “Yeah, Armin would probably be up for that. I’m just glad he’s getting some time off to come down here afterward. And it’s during the fundraiser, so we’ll be able to get trashed together!”


After a moment’s silence, Mikasa spoke up, low and thoughtful. “You know, Jean. With a bit of work, your hairstyle wouldn’t be all that different from Marlowe’s.”


“Fuck off, it is not!”






Eren let Mikasa in the room after the second knock.


Without hesitating, she gripped him hard, embracing him. And despite the fact that she was spreading the blood onto her own clothes, Eren was grateful for the embrace. For a moment, he could pretend that this night hadn’t happened, and that he was just greeting her for any number of other reasons.


But then they pulled apart, and reality set back in.


“Eren, are you okay? Are you hurt?”


He shook his head, but Levi was already speaking up for him. “Probably a few fractured ribs, but apart from that he’s good. Nice parting gift from our little friend.”


Mikasa followed their lead, and when she walked through the entranceway and into the room itself, her eyes widened.


“Is that-? Oh my god, Eren,” she cried, a hand flying up to cover her open mouth.


From beside them, Levi scoffed. “I can see why you had trouble recognising him. Getting stabbed in the face a hundred fucking times will do that to a guy.”


Even now, Levi’s voice was beginning to go raspy, probably from almost being choked to death earlier. For some reason, Eren was captivated as the shorter man rubbed tenderly at the bruises.


It was wrong, so fucking wrong. But Eren thought they looked beautiful on him.


Mikasa was already surveying the room, deep in thought. A second later, she spoke up.


“Eren, Levi. Help me get him onto the rug. We’ll roll it up and use it to get the body out of here.”


 And this was why Eren had needed her. There were no questions of how it happened, not yet at least. Because that wasn’t important, not until they’d gotten away with it, like they had last time. Mikasa understood what needed to be done. There would be time to freak out later. Right now, Eren needed to stay numb, to compartmentalise the horror of what he’d done.


Tomorrow would be hell, if he made it there.


But even as he grabbed the ankles of his assailant-turned-victim, all Eren could think about was how well he’d been doing up until now. He’d gotten a handle on his anger, and for the first time in what seemed like ages, he’d been able to envision a life without worrying about losing control.


Thinking back to when he, Mikasa and Jean had been joking around about something as trivial as killing Armin’s rival all those weeks ago, Eren shook his head at how easy times had been back then. He'd been a fucking fool to think everything in his life would turn out alright.

Chapter Text

Then. Six Weeks Ago


Grunting loudly in pain, Eren squatted low, feeling the repetitive action strain his muscles as he slowly pushed up, before going down once again.


“Good, feel the burn,” Jean sneered from behind him, almost mockingly.


Sweat dripping off his brow, Eren clenched his teeth and continued. Down, until he was squatting low. Pause. And then back up, feeling the fiery burn in his thighs. God, why did he even agree to this?


“Almost there. Just five more.”


Fucking hell, Eren swore it’d been five more six times ago. But Jean was driving him hard, making sure that Eren could hear his words of encouragement, even if they did become teasing every now and then at his pain. He could see his own face in the mirror in front of him, scrunched up from the exertion of his action, eyebrows knitted together and teeth gritted almost viciously.


“Shit,” Eren grunted, when he felt his thighs beginning to quiver. He wasn’t sure if he could finish what he’d started.


“Come on, pussy. You got this.”


“You wanna swap places?” Eren all but yelled back, feeling near hysterical from the pain, but still bent down once again.


“Nah,” Jean quipped, sounding like he was enjoying himself far too much. “I prefer the view from back here. You got a nice ass, Yeager.”


Eren wasn’t even listening even more, just focusing on getting through the next few moments of hell. Feeling the blood pound in his ears, he went down another time, and then for the last time, feeling his body scream in protest as he rose back up to his final resting position.


With a final roar, Eren stood up and wavered slightly, but then Jean was right up behind him, taking the barbell that had been balanced on his shoulders. Feeling the literal weight being lifted off his shoulders, Eren staggered, before gently lowering himself to sit on the floor.


Fucking hell, he hated the gym.


“God, you’re so embarrassing,” Jean whined after putting the barbell back on the nearby rack. “I’ve never met someone who is so naturally athletic yet such a drama queen when working out. How did you even get those muscles? It was the drugs, wasn’t it?”


Ignoring the scathing words, Eren reached for his water bottle. “Remind me why I agreed to this again?”


“Because while you may have a man, some people still need to work to look good. Not that you have to worry about that, with your freaky good genetics.”


It was true, to an extent. He’d gotten the best of both worlds in terms of genetic traits from his parents, with his mother’s fine facial features, yet the natural athleticism of his father. Even his brother, Zeke, had taken after their father in that way, although he looked more like his birth mother, Dinah. Growing up, Eren had never really had to worry about his weight, always having a naturally high metabolism, and although he had worked out, mostly through body-weight exercises in his room back home, he’d had a pretty easy ride in that regard.


Unfortunately, his horse of a roommate seemed to be intent on making him hate life in every regard.


While they’d gone to the gym for the previous week, this was the first time they’d actually properly worked out. To be fair, both Eren and Jean had intended to start the previous time, but their plans had been foiled by the man who’d invited them to join him.


One Reiner Braun.


When the beefy blonde had invited Eren and Jean to join him at the gym after the GSA meeting last week, Eren honestly hadn’t even thought about what it would entail. Sure, he could tell that Reiner was massive, with muscles that seemed like they were seconds away from tearing his shirt at any moment, but it wasn’t until they arrived at the campus gym later that night to meet him, that Eren got the full picture.


Emphasis on full.


To be fair, if Eren was as ripped as Reiner, he would’ve shown it off as well. Because the blonde was wearing a tank top so small that it barely classified as a top. It was one of those ridiculous singlets with arm holes that came down to his waist, showing off his monstrous lats and other side muscles, and were completely inadequate at covering Reiner’s chest. And holy shit, what a chest it was, with pecs the size of boulders, covered with a light dusting of blonde hair that was visible, because Reiner made no effort to cover himself.


Eren had been so stunned at the sight of this god before him, that he’d almost missed Jean weakly mumble that he was going to focus on cardio. With wide eyes, Eren had joined him, which was how the two of them had spent their first gym session ogling Reiner from the treadmills.


The worst thing was, that Reiner clearly knew what they were doing, judging by the knowing smirk on his face. From bicep curls that flexed muscles that were likely bigger than Eren’s entire leg, to squats in gym shorts that looked more like underwear, it was clear that Reiner enjoyed letting others appreciate his body.


“Fuck, I wish I was Bertholdt,” Jean had mumbled while running beside him. “I’ve never been so jealous of someone in my whole life.”


“Do you really think they’re together?” Eren had replied, not tearing his gaze away from Reiner for a second. “I thought they were just friends.”


“Judging by the way he tried to mount Bertholdt on the way home from Historia’s last week, I’d say I’m right.”


They’d spent the majority of the session that way, trading thinly veiled quips that were really just an excuse to watch Reiner more. By the time Reiner was finished, Eren and Jean had barely gotten past a light jog, and sheepishly followed Reiner out of the workout area.


Suffice to say, their wank session that night had been particularly heated.


Still, they’d made the decision not to attend the gym with the massive blonde after that, if only for the sake of their own ability to workout, more than anything. Not to mention, that after seeing Bertholdt’s knowing look when explaining to Reiner that they weren’t going to keep working out with him, it was likely a good idea not to shamelessly ogle their friend.


So instead of going on the Tuesday after the GSA meeting, Eren and Jean had settled on the Wednesday instead, when they knew Reiner was busy with football training.


Which brought them to now, where Eren was currently eyeing the treadmills wistfully, even if there were no muscled hunks to gawp at.


Of course, Eren’s life seemed to have a way of evening itself out, because as he reluctantly let Jean drag him to his feet for his next set of squats, Erwin fucking Smith walked into the weights area.


Eren almost didn’t recognise him at first, bit when he did, his jaw dropped. The older man’s usually carefully styled hair was tussled, and he was wearing a tank and shorts, albeit much, much less revealing than Reiner’s. And while he wasn’t as ridiculously muscled as Reiner, the man’s physique was definitely not something to scoff at, and Eren was already carding his eyes over the sculpted biceps on view for him.


As Erwin made his way over to the Lat Pull Down machine, Eren realised he hadn’t been spotted yet.


“I don’t know you,” he hissed to Jean, not taking his eyes off Erwin, who currently had his back to them. “Walk away, now.”


“What the fuck, Eren,” Jean growled back, looking confused.


Getting panicked at the thought of being spotted with someone else, Eren frantically gestured at Erwin in the far corner. “If you value our friendship, you ditch my ass right this second.”


Jean looked pissed, and probably rightfully so at Eren’s upfront words, but he really didn’t have time to explain the situation in detail. Thankfully, Jean did walk away, taking his place at one of the rowing machines on the far side of the room. No sooner had he left, than Erwin was turning to face Eren while setting himself up for his own workout, and Eren was lifting the barbell onto his shoulders.


He ignored the knowing scoff from the rowing machines when he started squatting without a single complaint.


By the fourth rep, Eren succeeded in making eye contact with Erwin through the mirror in front of him, and had to supress a triumphant grin when the older man visibly startled at seeing him. Instead, he feigned surprise as well, before adopting a look of faux sheepishness while he finished his set. Again, he made sure to supress his urge to grunt loudly from the effort, and was sure that he’d get an earful from Jean later on regarding that.


After finishing, Eren picked up his towel and water bottle, wiping his brow for a second before hesitantly making his way over to Erwin. By the time he got there, Erwin had also finished his set and had regained his composure.


“Eren, what a surprise. It’s good to see you.”


“Hi, Erwin,” Eren grinned back, not bothering to hide his eagerness. “What brings you here?”


Ugh. Good to know that his game hadn’t gotten any better since banging Marco.


Erwin just quirked an eyebrow, as if the answer was obvious (it was, and Eren was an idiot for asking such a cliché question). “I’m here most Wednesdays, actually. The facilities are free for staff use as well as students.”


And Eren… legitimately had not known that. Thinking of his other university lecturers, most of whom were overweight, nerdy scientists, he supposed it made sense that the university would want to promote healthy lifestyle choices through the staff as well as the students.


“Oh, that makes sense,” Eren cheerfully smiled back, watching one particular bead of sweat run-down Erwin’s forehead. “I had to change my workout day from Tuesday to today, because of another commitment.”


At least Eren was still good at lying through his teeth.


Steeling his nerves, Eren kept the plastered grin on his face. “When you’re done with your pull-downs, do you think you could spot me? I still need to do my bench presses.”


“I… don’t think that would be a wise idea, Eren. I’m not sure it would be appropriate.”


Fuck. Fuckity fuck.


Still, Eren kept going, pushing his luck. “Why wouldn’t it be appropriate?” He asked innocently, trying to keep the devilish intent clear of his expression. “I would ask someone else, but no one else is available.”


It was true, to be fair. Eren gestured around the room, first to two girls who were running on the treadmills and chatting away to each other, and then to Jean, who was doing a decent effort of pretending to yell at someone on his phone. Honestly, Eren would have to buy him a drink that weekend, the guy was a saint.


Erwin still looked unsure, but Eren could tell that he’d gotten to him. “… I guess I would be able to assist you, Eren. But after that, I’m afraid I have to get back to my own workout. I have an appointment this evening that I need to prepare for.”


Whether or not that was a lie, Eren didn’t know, nor did he really care, because after a quick bathroom break, Erwin was done and ready to help him out. And Eren wasn’t ashamed to admit that he’d rearranged his tank top to show off his pecs while in the bathroom. Hoping that Reiner would be proud of him, Eren took his position on the bench, making sure to have selected a weight that wasn’t too much for him. The last thing he needed was to embarrass himself while trying to impress Erwin with the amount of weight he could lift.


The first thing Eren became aware of as he reclined back was that he was fucking close to Erwin’s crotch. He hadn’t even realised it would be a by-product, but with the older man standing above him and ready to assist him if needed, it put him in the perfect position. Which was how Eren spent his first set of lifts envisioning the porn-version of this encounter, with the gym being completely deserted and Erwin gradually lowering his waist towards Eren. With Eren arching his head upwards, quickly abandoning the barbell in favour of chasing a much more desirable weight.


Fuck, he needed to get his mind out of the gutter, unless Eren wanted himself getting hard right then and there.


As he pumped his arms up and down, lifting the heavy barbell above his chest, Eren kept his eyes locked on Erwin’s. He was staring down at Eren intently, azure eyes fixated on him, practically staring straight into Eren’s soul. And Eren was sure he wasn’t the only one noticing the tension, the way Erwin wouldn’t look anywhere else, and how at one point, he even bit his lip while watching Eren.


It was probably all part of the fantasy Eren had built up, but Erwin was definitely acting interested. Not quite as obvious as the porn fantasy Eren had cooked up, but there was definitely something there.


Later, during the second set, Erwin seemed to have caught himself, and was instead watching the barbell, as any good spotter was meant to. Eren, however, preferred this less, even if it now meant he was free to turn his gaze elsewhere without the older man noticing.


Because Erwin’s bulge was right there, and while his shorts weren’t as tight as Reiner’s, or even Eren’s for that matter, Eren could still see enough through the baggy material to tell that the guy was packing. Only a few inches above his reclined head, Eren inwardly groaned at the thought of Porn-Erwin leaning down to thrust into Porn-Eren’s throat. And just that alone sent an excited chill through Eren, now having the knowledge that in the completely hypothetical fantasy he’d cooked up, Erwin was just as well-endowed as he was in real life.


Not to mention, the bulge itself was within reaching distance.


Erwin cleared his throat suddenly, and Eren flinched, realising that even though he’d continued to proceed with his bench-presses, the older man had caught him red-handed, staring at his pants. And for some reason, Eren didn’t even feel embarrassed, even though he had every right to be, because Erwin wasn’t looking mad.


Instead, Eren just grinned, wide and cheerful, trying to keep the perception going that he was oblivious as fuck.


After a silent break between sets, Eren quickly finished his third and final one, not wanting to push his luck any further. While he didn’t really think anything would ever happen between him and Erwin, it was still a fun thought to humour. But he didn’t want to make his intentions obvious, or freak Erwin out in any way. No, if there was ever going to be the slimmest of chances that he could make this work, it would have to be done delicately.


Unfortunately, Eren wasn’t known for his subtlety.


As Erwin helped him put the barbell back on the rack, Eren sat up, stretching out his fatigued muscles. Even though his mind had been on other things, the workout had really taken it out of him, and Eren knew he’d be sore tomorrow morning. Erwin handed him his water bottle, and after taking a quick swig, Eren threw caution to the wind and doused his hair with what remained din the bottle.


With water dripping down his hair and onto his face, Eren smiled at his professor. “Thanks so much for your help Erwin!”


Still looking a little rocked, Erwin just nodded. “Of course. I’m afraid I need to be getting back to my own regime, however.”


“No worries. Is it still okay for me to come by your office this Friday afternoon?”


The appointment was to discuss his paper, but Eren intentionally left that out, just because it sounded better without. He’d visited Erwin two Fridays in a row now, and was quietly hoping to make it a regular instance in both their schedules, partly because it was helpful for his paper, and partly because well…


“Definitely,” Erwin responded, back to his usual, composed self. “Enjoy the rest of your evening, Eren.”


A few minutes later, Jean barged into the changeroom while Eren was getting dressed after his short shower.


“The fuck? Since when did you start seducing older men, Yeager?”


“He’s not that old,” Eren shot back, but was still grinning to himself at the thought of the interaction.


He’d decided not to tell Jean that Erwin was his history lecture, knowing the other guy would probably react badly. Sure, it wasn’t that big of a deal, but Eren didn’t really want to have that conversation right now, at least. Later, when he’d thought about it more, he’d come clean, but for now Eren preferred the idea that he’d gone up to a random man that he didn’t know and started hitting on him.


Jean didn’t say anything else before going to have his own shower, but afterward, as they walked out of the building, he bumped Eren on the shoulder.


“You fucking owe me, by the way. You better not ditch me for another daddy next week, or it’s over.”


“… Daddy? Really, Jean?”


“Oh please, don’t tell me the thought never crossed your mind!”




“Ugh, sometimes I fucking hate this job!”


Eren flinched from his spot on the sofa, and felt Marco do the same beside him. Opposite them, Mikasa and Connie were also craning their heads around, looking for the source of the shouting. The four of them were gathered in the back corner of the GSA room, wasting away their otherwise free Thursday afternoon. Mikasa had bought a bucket of fried chicken on her way over, and thankfully with Sasha not there, the four of them had been able to leisurely snack away for the last few minutes.


Until they’d been disturbed, that was, by none other than Hanji, who dramatically flung herself over a spare beanbag positioned near them. When they just stared at her, the bespectacled woman glanced up.


“Gimme chicken. Your president demands it.”


After she’d been appeased, Eren spoke up. “Um, is everything okay?”


Hanji groaned dramatically around a mouthful of fried chicken. “It’s the fucking fundraiser. The university board are being shits about letting us set up on the main lawn, even though we raised a tonne of money there last year. We don’t even need any funding, but they’re still getting in our way.”


“I thought you had a good rapport with the board?” Mikasa asked quietly.


“We did,” Hanji shot back, “but this year that prick Fritz is chairman, and he seems to take pleasure from making everyone’s life hell. Seems to think that it won’t promote a professional look for the university, and that it will just become a massive piss up.”


“But it was a massive piss up last year, wasn’t it?” Eren questioned.


“Well yeah, but we raised so much money because people kept buying drinks!” Hanji cheered back. “Besides, Reiner’s already promised that he’ll keep the football team on a tighter leash this year. It’s awesome that we have their support, but sometimes those guys don’t know when to put a lid on it.”


Eren nodded, understanding. It was still new to him, to be in an environment where an LGBT alliance had the support of the football team of all things. Sure, the fact that Reiner was there helped, but from what Eren had seen, practically no one seemed to have a problem with them. It was a stark contrast to back home, where Eren had been terrified of anyone finding out about him, where anyone who was known to be… different was publicly shunned by society.


“Mike’s been on the phone to the board all day,” Hanji continued, pointing over to the far side of the room, where Mike, likely acting in his role of treasurer, was sternly muttering something into his phone, tapping away at his laptop at the same time. “But Fritz isn’t going to budge, and the other members seem to listen to him.”


“So what’s gonna happen if they say no?” Connie spoke up, grease dripping down his chin from the chicken leg he was munching on. “Couldn’t Historia ask her dad to put in a good word for her?”


To their surprise, Hanji shook her head. “Reiss is already doing that, but Fritz probably won’t budge from just that alone. It’s not a completely lost cause, I’ll just have to get Levi to help out. Hate asking for him to do that, though…”


The last bit seemed to be mostly to herself, but Eren was all ears. Because what the hell would Levi be able to do that Historia, daughter of Dean Rod Reiss, couldn’t? But Hanji was already changing the subject, her usual grin replacing the scowl.


“How’re you guys going with your stuff?”


Still cuddled up beside him, Marco launched into his progress on organising the barbeque, which he’d been tasked to coordinate alongside Jean and Mike. They were still a fair few weeks off, but with Mike at the helm, the three of them had been making sure they’d have enough meat ordered to keep the majority of the university campus full on the day of the fundraiser. Eren had been put on the team in charge of organising alcohol for the day, alongside Connie, Sasha, Annie and a few others. They were working under Moblit, and as a newbie, he wouldn’t have too much responsibility, beyond making a few late-night alcohol runs if their stocks ran out.


Still, Eren tuned out as the others talked over making further preparations for the big day. He was still caught up in the fact that somehow, Levi had some sort of sway that would help them with the board. Suffice to say, Eren had been intrigued by the shorter man since the moment he’d first laid eyes on him, and had always thought of him as an enigma. He was into guys, but technically not part of the GSA. Apart from that first meeting, where he’d observed from the corner, Levi hadn’t turned up since. In fact, Eren had overheard that the only reason he’d even bothered with Historia’s party was because Hanji and Petra had begged him to come.


And then again, with the flyers. The only times he seemed to make an effort were when those two women, or someone else he was close to, asked it of him. Apart from the few friends he had, Levi mostly stayed isolated from the goings on around him.


Eren wanted to know him like they did.


Later, after Hanji had left to go continue negotiations with the board, Connie leaned forward excitedly to their group.


“So,” he began, grinning conspiratorially, “my parents are coming up to visit me in a couple of weeks, and are leaving their minivan behind for me to use. I was thinking we could go for an overnight camping trip to somewhere nearby, like Dauper.”


“Isn’t that where Sasha’s from?” Eren asked, already liking the idea.


“Yep! She says that she knows come good deserted areas to camp out in, maybe get wasted. You guys in?”


Mikasa and Marco seemed up for it, so Eren happily agreed. Apparently, Connie’s van could fit six, so the four of them, alongside Sasha and Jean, would be able to comfortably travel down together in a few weekend’s time.


With more important things on his mind, Eren let his questions about Levi fade, for now.




Later that night, when Jean was lying next to Eren on his bed, their boxers pushed down to their ankles, he asked the question.


“Does Marco know about this? And also that you’re flirting with other guys.”


Eren paused, his hand still around Jean’s cock. Over the past two weeks, they’d settled into an easy rhythm where, on most nights, one of them would shuffle over to the other’s bed. It wasn’t awkward, not anymore at least, and apart from a few moments here and there, they didn’t talk about it afterward. And while none of them had said anything specifically, there had been a few certain ground rules that had seemed to have been laid down.


One: They only gave each other handjobs. Nothing else beyond that.


Two: There was definitely no kissing.


Three: They didn’t talk about other guys while doing it.


On his end, Eren kept in line mostly because he didn’t want to spook Jean. The other guy still had that flighty air to him at times, and Eren really didn’t want to freak him out. So he was shocked that it was Jean that breaking the unspoken laws of ‘roommate fun times’.


“What?” He breathed back, before gradually beginning to move his palm around Jean’s cock again.


“Have you told Marco that this is a thing that happens?”


“Um, yeah,” Eren said truthfully, because he had. It’d been a conversation he’d been dreading, but thankfully Marco had been on the same page as Eren; that they were just fooling around for a bit of fun. With them both knowing what they wanted, Eren didn’t have to worry about hurting him, or accidently leading him on.


When Jean’s eyes widened at the revelation, Eren hastily continued. “I didn’t tell him it was with you, don’t worry. I just said that I was also fooling around with another guy.”


“Oh,” Jean said after a moment. He was silent after that, apart from the grunts Eren got out from him by thumbing over the head of his cock. But Eren could tell that the guy was distracted. He didn’t really know why, but it was obvious that Jean wasn’t present, and Eren grumbled to himself as the pressure around his own cock decreased.


“What…” Jean eventually said, his voice quiet. “What did you tell Marco? About the other guy you were seeing?”


‘Seeing’ was a bit of an overstatement, but Eren could tell what he meant. Still making an effort to keep pumping Jean, even though they were both distracted now, Eren quirked an eyebrow.


“Just that we fooled around a bit every now and then. Told him that you had a nice dick and gave a good handjob, but apart from that not too much.”


Jean didn’t reply, but Eren could see the red tint to his cheeks.


“Why does it matter, though? He doesn’t even know…”




Eren couldn’t stop the snicker that escaped his lips as he caught on to what was going on. Taking his hand off Jean, he excitedly rolled over onto his side, grinning at his friend, who was still blushing.


“You like him, don’t you? As in, like like him.”


“I never said that!”


“Come on, it’s obvious,” Eren crowed, feeling victorious. It did make sense, and all of a sudden Eren was thinking back to all the times Jean had talked to Marco, tripping over his words. How he’d been particularly embarrassed when Eren had insulted him back at Historia’s party, in front of Marco. Not to mention the extra crabby mood he’d be in whenever Eren came back from hanging out with him.


Eventually, Jean relented. “It’s not a big deal, Yeager. Sure, I think the guy’s cute. But he’s your guy. Please don’t make this a thing, dude.”


“He’s not my guy, you know that right? Why don’t I put-”


“Just drop it, okay?!”


He looked dismissive, but Eren had gotten the hang of deciphering Jean Kirschtein, and knew that this meant something to him. Sure, Eren liked Marco. A lot. They had a tonne of fun together. And the sex was amazing.


But Jean was his friend.


So even though Eren just nodded, and a few minutes later helped to bring Jean to a sharp climax, he was already thinking of how he’d have to end things with Marco.






With a final grunt, Eren succeeded in rolling the woollen rug into a long sausage, making sure blood wasn’t dripping out from within it. It’d been a struggle, but eventually, they’d been able to conceal the body within the roll, leaving them now with the heavy task of lugging it down the stairs and out of the building.


But then what? Eren had no idea, his mind a mess of erratic thoughts and plans. They hadn’t thought that far ahead, but all that mattered at the moment was cleaning up their (his) mess, because someone could arrive at any moment.


Not to mention, there was the other person to worry about.


On his way to get more towels, Eren glanced into the bathroom at the end of the hall, and was relieved to see nothing had changed there. With all that had gone on afterward, he’d almost forgotten about it, but now it was added to his ever-growing list of problems.


Glancing at his phone, Eren swore. It was past 9:30 now. If they took any longer, then people would begin to notice their absence from the fundraiser. But they still had to find somewhere to dump the body, not to mention clean up the murder scene, which in of itself seemed like an impossible job.


“I found more towels,” he supplied weakly as he walked back into the main room.


Mikasa and Levi turned to look at him. Luckily, Mikasa had shrugged her jacket over her, covering the blood now smeared on her shirt. But Levi was a mess, still bleeding from the nose despite the tissues that he’d stuffed up his nostrils, his usual pale skin now seemingly stained red. Still, he looked like he’d regained his composure now, at least judging by the way he was no longer yelling at either of them.


After having Mikasa help him get as clean as he could, Eren surveyed the room. Luckily, the blood was still pooled on the wooden floor, with most of the furniture having been spared.


“I have an idea where to go,” Mikasa said suddenly, surprising Eren.


That was good at least, even if Eren didn’t know what she was talking about. Still, he was again thankful that he’d called her, because of course Mikasa would know what to do.


Last time, they’d had help. But now? He, Mikasa and Levi were on their own.


“Someone has to stay and clean this up,” he muttered, and looked at Levi. Mikasa was already staring his way too, because it was obvious.


“Ugh, fine,” the shorter man sighed, “I’ll need to have a shower afterward, anyway. Just make sure you’re careful on your way out with him.” He gestured to the rolled-up sausage on the floor.


“Thanks,” Eren breathed in relief. “Mikasa and I should be able to manage it between us.”


At that mention, Mikasa looked up sharply. “But Eren, your ribs-”


“-Will be fine,” he cut in, but truthfully, he wasn’t sure. “I’m more worried about how we’re gonna explain the missing rug.”


“We’ll think of something,” Mikasa began, but was cut off when a phone started to ring.


It was Eren’s.


Both Mikasa and Levi looked at him sharply, their eyes widened in worry. Fuck, how was Eren supposed to talk to someone in the state he was in. Tentatively, Eren pulled his phone back out of his pocket, only to freeze when he saw the number dialling him.


“Who is it?” Levi asked, still frozen.


Instead of answering, Eren just turned his screen to show them, and watched the colour drain from their faces.


Erwin Smith.

Chapter Text

Then. Five Weeks Ago


“… This is brilliant, Eren.”


Stunned, Eren blinked a few times at the praise, before beaming across the desk at Erwin. He was still staring at his computer, where he’d been scanning the rough draft of Eren’s paper that he’d just emailed over. With three weeks still left until the due date, Eren was well ahead of schedule, especially compared to Connie, who hadn’t even picked his topic yet.


Then again, it was safe to say that Connie was fucked when it came to passing this particular class.


More and more, Eren had been finding a genuine passion for Erwin’s subject, sometimes more so than his other core science units. It was unexpected, although Eren did wonder if he’d still be this engaged with a different lecturer, because Erwin was brilliant. Raw sexual magnetism aside, Erwin managed to captivate Eren with every lecture, always keeping his attention with well thought-out examples and techniques to make history, a subject which was known for being dry, always interesting. Compared to Eren’s stodgy chemistry and biology lecturers, the guy was on a whole other level.


Which was why it meant so much to Eren that he was impressing him.


When Erwin finally looked up from the computer screen, he was smiling widely.


“You’re really pushing the boundaries of higher-level thinking with this paper, Eren. It’s safe to say that this is one of the most promising pieces of work I’ve seen from a freshman in years.”


Bright red, but still burning with pride, Eren smiled sheepishly. “Thanks, Erwin. I really enjoyed the research process.”


“I can see that. And that’s the most impressive part. Most of the texts you’ve cited as sources aren’t stocked in the university’s library. A few of them I even recognise as editions I’ve been trying to locate for some time now. Did you acquire them from your home?”


Eren nodded. “I’ve got this friend, Armin. His grandpa is a librarian back in Shiganshina, and has access to a massive collection of old records. I was able to get him to scan some of the relevant chapters and send them to me.”


To his surprise, not only did Erwin look impressed now, but envious. “I would very much like to see these scans, if that would be okay.”


“Of course! I’ll bring them with me next week, sir.”


The thankful smile he got in return from his professor sent chills through Eren because fucking hell, he was radiant. Once again, Eren felt himself become transfixed with the older man’s features, the strong jawline and full lips, and goddamn all he was to do was shove his tongue right down-


“On that note, I have an offer for you, Eren.” Erwin’s words cut through Eren’s fantasies, and he chastised himself for daydreaming once again in the man’s presence. When he looked back to Erwin, he was fully focussed.


“I’ve enjoyed our talks, Eren, and I can tell that you have a unique mind for someone your age. You think bigger than most students, always looking for the greater meaning.” Again, Eren shuffled in his seat at the blatant praise, but stayed silent. “The following Friday night there is going to be a symposium held at the university, with some of the greatest historians in the country attending. I was thinking you’d gain a lot if you joined me in attending.”


Oh. Eren hadn’t been expecting that. The suggestion was unorthodox, especially coming from his college professor, and the instinctive surge of excitement that ran through him was enough to let Eren know what his answer was.


“I’d love to go, Erwin! Thanks so much. I’ll make sure to rearrange my plans.”


“Oh, I wouldn’t want to come in between anything-”


“Don’t worry,” Eren cut in, “I was just going to be helping to plan the GSA fundraiser, but it’s weeks away so they’ll be fine without me for that night.”


Erwin coughed, and Eren had to supress a grin. He’d been wanting to insert that little titbit of information for a while now, that he was part of the GSA, but hadn’t known where to start. It was a dangerous game he was playing, and Eren knew it would likely blow up in his face, but he couldn’t help it. He had to try.


“I hope the preparations are going well. From what I remember, the event last year was a big hit, even if it was somewhat… disorderly.”


That got a laugh from Eren, because from what he’d heard, disorderly was an understatement. Despite the extra stress they were under to organise it, Eren was looking forward to the day, if for nothing else than that he would get to get blind drunk with his friends. Not to mention that Armin would be there as well.


Seeing that it was almost time for his next class, a biology lab, Eren made his excuses. Upon standing up, he made sure to shake Erwin’s hand, however.


“I can’t thank you enough, Erwin. I really appreciate all the help you’ve given me.”


“All I’ve done is help steer you. It was your brilliant mind that put pen to paper, so to speak.”


Erwin’s mouth was curved upward and holy shit, they were still grasping each other’s hands. It’d been way too long by now, but Eren wasn’t going to be the one to let go, not when Erwin’s palm was warm against his, callused fingers gripping around him. God, he could just imagine how they’d feel gripping someone else.


The older man was staring at him, his expression open and sincere, fully aware of what he was doing.


Fuck. Fuck. This was happening.




The door to Erwin’s office slammed open without a knock, and Eren jerked back like he’d been burnt. Ripping his hand out from Erwin’s, Eren took a step back, before glancing up at the newcomer.


“Professor Dok, I’m sure you’re aware of providing others the curtesy of knocking.”


Erwin’s tone was back to his usual, professional self, and Eren followed his gaze to the man at the door. He looked about Erwin’s age, maybe a bit older, with shaggy dark hair and a light beard. Recognising him to be Nile Dok, one of the other lecturers in the history department at Trost, Eren grimaced. Dok had taken over one of the history lectures at the start of the semester, when Erwin had been absent. It’d been the most boring lecture Eren had ever sat through, mostly in part due to Dok seemingly having the personality of cardboard.


Even now, Dok just sneered at Erwin, clearly choosing to ignore the man’s previous words.


“Erwin, I need to speak to you. It’s quite a pressing matter, if you don’t mind.”


Despite the clear annoyance in his eyes, Erwin plastered a smile to his face. “I’m with a student at the moment, Professor. I’m sure whatever-”


“Office hours are over, I believe, Erwin.”


God, Eren wanted to deck this asshole in the face. Feeling an unreasonable level of anger surge through him, Eren focused on breathing slower, and gradually, unclenched his fists.


“Nile, your tone-”


“It’s okay, Er- Professor,” Eren cut in, already rising to his feet and collecting his bag. It was clear that whatever was going on, it was bigger than Eren, and it would be for the best if he left.


He smiled reassuringly at Erwin, but withered when he passed Dok on his way out of the room. The guy was clearly a dick, but Eren wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of getting a rise from him.


Not even after the asshole had just interrupted a moment between Erwin and him, because fuck what anyone else thought, Eren knew that they had something now.




“Hit me.”


“… Are you sure? You’re at 19 already, I don’t think it’s gonna end well, buddy.”


“Just fucking hit me!”


Reiner arched an eyebrow at him, but didn’t stop grinning as he slammed another card down on the table.


  1. Fuck.


Eren groaned loudly, but otherwise fulfilled his duty of finishing his drink as Reiner turned to the next person in the circle. He winced once the beer had slid down his throat because holy shit, he was drunker than he’d thought he was.


As Annie took her turn in the game, Mike grinned from Eren’s other side.


“Do you suck at just blackjack, or every card game you play Eren?”


“He just sucks at everything,” Jean grumbled from nearby, making Eren screw up his face and flipping him off. There was an innuendo in there, but Eren wasn’t quite drunk enough yet to comment on it.


They were back at Historia’s apartment, which Eren was quickly realising was the de facto party house for their group of friends. And it felt amazing to be able to say that now, that he was part of the group. Because in addition to chatting easily with Mike while they played, Eren had already talked with Petra and Eld, the conversation flowing naturally with no awkwardness at all. It was freeing, to be among people who genuinely liked him, and to feel like he was part of something bigger.


The only downside was the Levi wasn’t there.


And Eren knew it was irresponsible of him, to lust after both Erwin and Levi simultaneously. They both seemed to be equally unattainable, but so different that his attraction to them both seemed like it was meant to be there. Erwin was the good, law-abiding professor, always speaking with long words and never putting a foot wrong. Levi, on the other hand, was anything but, and seemed to be the literal definition of bad-boy, if the stories of him Eren had heard from Hanji and Petra were anything to go by.


Even though Marco wasn’t there tonight, things had ended well between him and Eren. It’d almost been anti-climactic, the way Eren had simply let him know that they had to stop fooling around. For days, he’d built it up to something massive in his head, fearing that Marco would flip out because Eren didn’t have a proper reason for ending things. But Marco had just shrugged, still looking a little disappointed but not altogether crushed when Eren broke the news.


“I get it, Eren,” Marco had placated him, when Eren had tried to give a reason. “It was just a temporary thing, I knew that from the start.”


“I still want to be friends, though,” Eren had shot back immediately.


“Good, because you’re stuck with me.”


Eren’s reasoning had been pretty pathetic, because he couldn’t very well mention Jean’s crush on the guy during his explanation, but Marco hadn’t taken it personally. And that was the thing Eren had kind of loved about him, that he was so aloof to everything that happened, and seemed to not have a care in the world as long as everyone was happy.


Since that day, Eren had run into him twice, and had been thrilled to discover that there’d been no awkwardness between them, which seemed almost too good to be true. Almost like Marco knew something that Eren didn’t.


Eren might’ve stopped sleeping with him, but it was promising to know their friendship would survive.


Looking around the room, it was actually a largely different crowd to what he was used to at these events. The regulars were there, of course, with Hanji and Ymir screeching above the music at each other, and their significant others trying to calm them down. Reiner and Bertholdt had made an appearance as well, which Eren was glad for, because aside from their collective hotness as a pair, the two of them were genuinely fun to hang around.


There were others that Eren didn’t know the name of, mostly friends of Mike or Petra and Eld, but Eren didn’t feel too out of the loop. Even with Mikasa and Connie not there, due to having to study for their upcoming tests.


Eren missed Mikasa’s presence, he really did. But it was validating to know that he could fit in even without her.


A loud cheer brought his attention back to the game, and Eren turned in surprise to see Sasha chugging her drink. Eren joined in the chanting, grinning when she finished easily. God, that girl could sure put it away.


“She’s gonna be dead in an hour,” Annie muttered from beside him, and Eren snickered.


Annie’s quiet bluntness had grown on him, over the weeks. While he hadn’t had much to do with her initially, her unexpected friendship with Mikasa had brought her into Eren’s life more than he’d anticipated. And after getting passed her intimidating as fuck persona, Eren had come to see why Mikasa liked her so much. The two of them were similar, used to guarding their emotions from other people, only letting their walls down when comfortable. So Eren had made a concerted effort to get to know her, and had been pleasantly surprised as a result.


And the fact that Mikasa now did MMA with Annie, and Reiner as well? That just made his sister more terrifying.


It didn’t take long for their small circle to disband and intermingle with the other people present, and Eren found himself with Jean and Bertholdt.


“Your other half’s in good form tonight,” Jean commented to the tall, dark-haired man, nodding to the far side of the room, where Historia was doing a body shot off Reiner’s bare chest.


Fuck, Eren could see the guy’s muscles from here.


Bertholdt smiled back, for once looking completely relaxed. “I think he’s having a good day. He was bouncing off the walls all afternoon, trying to get me to pre-game with him at three o’clock. If I hadn’t have stopped him, we wouldn’t have made it here tonight.”


He was right. Reiner always seemed to be the life of the party, leading the charge when it came to drinking, and always egging others on to join him. But despite his size, Reiner was one of the biggest lightweights Eren had come across. Still, he always seemed to be in a downright positive mood, and had lifted Eren’s grumpy attitude once or twice in the past few weeks. Not only that, but Bertholdt himself seemed to be having fun as well, which Eren was glad for. The guy always seemed to be stuck looking after Reiner, or cleaning up the mess he made.


Suddenly, there was a rush of movement to the side, and a second later Annie was rushing a hunched over Sasha into the bathroom. No sooner had the door slammed shut behind them than there was the sound of the poor girl emptying her guts into the toilet, eliciting a collective wince of sympathy from everyone else present.


“Fucking knew it,” Jean scoffed, but was already finishing his beer. “Think I’m gonna help Annie get her home, I’m feeling a bit tired.”


He sounded genuinely concerned for Sasha’s wellbeing, but Eren knew there was more to it as well. It was clear that Jean was hoping that Marco would be here tonight, but with him not showing, his roommate’s eagerness for drinking had died down a bit.


“You right to get home okay?” Jean asked Eren, ten minutes later, as he and Annie helped Sasha towards the front door.


“Pfff,” Eren scoffed, already feeling a little buzzed. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll see ya tomorrow.”


Minutes later, Eren mentally thanked himself for not going with them, because all of a sudden Levi was walking through the door.


“Levi!” Eren drunkenly cheered, alongside Hanji and Petra, who charged the poor fucker. While the shorter man dealt hugging the two giggling drunks, Eren ignored Bertholdt’s quizzical stare. Yeah, he probably shouldn’t be this excited for Levi’s arrival, but he couldn’t help it.


To his surprise (and utter delight), Levi soon found his way over to them, nodding politely.


“Brats,” was all he said, but that was enough for Eren.


Launching into a form of chatter he could only manage while intoxicated, Eren babbled about nothing to Levi. He could feel Bertholdt’s gaze on them both, and for the first time, realised that it wasn’t just him that saw Levi as an enigma.


“Your other half isn’t here, I noticed,” Levi stated, when Eren finally took a breath.


Eren wasn’t sure whether he was talking about Mikasa, Jean or Marco, but in the end it didn’t really matter. None of them were here, so he shrugged. “They were killing my game, y’know? I work better alone.”


Bertholdt snorted into his drink, and Eren counted that as a point in his favour.


Levi just looked him up and down sceptically. “Your game? Let me know when that gets going.”


Oh, hell yes. Levi was flirting with him, right?


Before Eren could reply (and it was likely for the best, because he was about to embarrass himself), Hanji teared up to them, clearly excited.


“Levi! Did you bring it?”


Not sure what she was talking about, Eren just watched as Levi sighed. “God, give me a second, Shitty Glasses.”


But despite his apparent irritation, Levi was already reaching into the pocket of his ripped jeans, before pulling out a small, clear zip-lock bag. Filled with several clear-looking capsules.


Eyes wide, Eren stayed silent as the remaining people at the party gathered around. Back in high school, Eren had tried out smoking weed behind Mikasa’s back; some of the stuff that Thomas and Samuel had gotten their hands on, but this was something else entirely. He didn’t know exactly what was in the bag, but it was definitely illegal. No one else seemed to care, however, as Hanji took the bag from Levi and began to hand the capsules out to everyone. The drug was placed in his open palm without a second thought, and now Eren could see the small, white crystals inside the transparent capsules. It was only as Eren stared at it numbly that Hanji seemed to noticed his hesitation.


“Oh shit, you haven’t done caps before, have you, Eren?” Hanji asked him, thankfully keeping her voice soft. “Don’t feel pressured, okay? You want me to take it back?”


Eren was already shaking his head. “No, I’m game. Just… um, not really sure how to go about it.”


“Seriously, Eren,” Hanji replied. “If you don’t want to, I’ll take it right back this second. It’s as safe as E can be, Levi tested the whole batch for purity with his kit, but you can still say no anytime.”


Eren nodded, before glancing back down at the small weight in his hand. Now that Hanji had brought it up, Eren guessed that the drug in the capsules was MDMA, also called ecstasy. And while he was familiar with the idea of it, and had definitely heard other people bring up the phrase ‘caps’ before, Eren had never known anyone who had actually done it.


But all around them, the others were going right for it. Ymir downed hers without a second thought, and too Eren’s surprise, Historia was right behind her. Mike and his friends were next, followed by Petra, Eld, Moblit and the others he didn’t know.


“Reiner…” Bertholdt trailed off next to him, but the beefy blonde had already swallowed his.


All of a sudden, Eren was acutely aware that he was the only freshmen still at the party.


He could also feel Levi’s eyes on him, and that seemed to matter most of all.


Eventually, after Levi, Hanji and even Bertholdt and taken theirs, it was just Eren left. Someone had handed him a glass of water, but Eren was still working up the courage to swallow the damn thing. He knew what peer pressure was, of course, but no one was pushing him, and the curiosity was burning at him. But he could just picture his father’s reaction, his mom’s disappointed eyes, and Zeke’s sneer at his stupidity.


But he was also done living by his family’s rules.


“Come on, Eren!” Reiner crowed from somewhere and okay, Eren took back what he’d thought about not being encouraged.


Was it still pressuring if he wanted to do it?


God, Mikasa wasn’t going to be happy with him.


Because even while Ymir, Mike, Reiner and the rest of them cheered him on, Eren had already made up his mind. Sensing Levi’s eyes on him most of all, Eren quickly popped the cap into his mouth, swallowing it down with the glass of water before he could think twice. He could hear everyone around him roaring, and Reiner’s “he fucking did it!” drowned most of the other cheers out, but Eren mainly cared for Levi’s reaction, who had stayed silent.


Levi held his gaze for a few more seconds, before his lips quirked up at the side, the sign of approval evident.


“To the club!” Hanji suddenly yelled, and a second later Eren was being swept up in Reiner’s bulky arms, being lifted clean off the ground.


“You’re the man, Eren! And Jean said you’d be too boring for us,” he crowed, and Eren let himself be swept up in the impending rush, as well as feeling vindicated that he’d proved Jean wrong. Reiner eventually let him down as the group made its way out of the building and towards the main street nearby. Historia’s apartment was perfectly located between the university campus and the Trost city centre (another perk of being daughter of Rod Reiss, it seemed), and so whatever club Hanji had chosen for them would be nearby.


Next to Reiner, Bertholdt grinned kindly at him. “You won’t feel anything for the next half an hour or so, but if you feel panicked at all, just let us know, okay? Me and Reiner will look after you. Oh, and take this.”


When Bertholdt handed Eren a stick of gum, Eren quirked an eyebrow in question.


“Chew it, okay? Your jaw will thank me tomorrow.”


Despite not really knowing why, that seemed to settle Eren’s nerves a bit, even if he did feel a little guilty at his recklessness. Eren wanted to make his way over to Levi, who was walking ahead with Petra, Eld and two other guys he didn’t know the names of. But Reiner still had his arm slung over Eren’s shoulder, keeping him there with him and Bertholdt. Not that Eren minded, really. The two of them were fun to hang out with, not to mention hot as fuck.


By the time they made it to the club, Eren’s heart was thumping in his ears, and he felt lightheaded. Thankfully, Hanji knew the bouncer, and so they were able to skip the moderate line, and once they were inside the strobe lights bounced across Eren’s vision. It was clearly a gay club, but Eren was too high to really notice, and holy fuck when had that happened. It felt existential, like he wasn’t in his own body, and although Eren had done weed before, this was a whole other animal.


Eren didn’t even realise he was laughing out loud until Historia was tugging him by the wrist into the crowd, Ymir close behind her as always. It was a mass of bodies and glitter and light, and an instant later Historia and Ymir were laughing against each other’s lips, arms wrapped around each other as they danced and made out at the same time. Eren didn’t have a second to contemplate his third wheel status, because Reiner and Bertholdt were suddenly there pressing Eren between their bodies. And Eren hoped he looked as high as Reiner did, the blonde man’s pupils as wide as saucers and grinning from ear to ear.


His cheer was infectious, and as Reiner grabbed Eren by the back of the neck and gyrated their crotches together, he felt Bertholdt’s hand settle on his waist, sandwiching him between them. Bertholdt’s lips pressed to his ear, the man yelling over the pumping bass music.


“Feeling good?”


Eren just answered by grinding his ass back into the dark-haired man, and after getting a quick nip to the shell of his ear in return, the three of them were dancing. It felt fucking fantastic, like he was burning alive in the best possible way, feeling thousands of touches all over him every second. Eren looked up at the roof, letting the strobe lights glare right into his pupils, and “woooed” out loud, only for it to be drowned out by the music. All around them, people danced and grinded on each other, the energy of the room spurring Eren forward.


If he’d been thinking more, Eren would’ve noticed the implications of Reiner and Bertholdt paying particular attention to him. They always kept him between them, never dancing or touching each other unless it was through Eren. And Eren himself was riding high on the attention, letting Bertholdt’s hands hook into his beltloops as Reiner card his fingers down his chest.


He could see Hanji dancing with Moblit, along with Mike and their other friends. By now, Historia and Ymir were almost at second base, and that was definitely a hand down the front of Ymir’s jeans. And when Historia pulled back from their kiss with a wicked smirk, Eren laughed against Bertholdt’s shoulder, because he’d underestimated that little shit. Ymir’s eyes were wide but loving, and as they leant in to kiss again, Eren was distracted by someone bumping into him. Around their group, nameless strangers were grinding on each other, some necking filthily, and Eren just knew Hanji had picked this place for that reason. It seemed like the cliché, dirty as fuck type of place where every person inside was high on something.


And Eren fucking loved it.


Distantly, Eren was aware that Levi was here somewhere, and despite the desire to go find him, he found himself content to remain where he was. His vision blurred, just in the right way, and he swooned back into Bertholdt’s body, letting the taller man support him while he regained his composure. Reiner was in front of him, laughing and saying something that was inaudible over the music. Eren just grinned back, yelling that he felt fucking fantastic and then laughing again because his tongue felt fuzzy and heavy. He stepped away from Bertholdt, spinning around in a circle before jumping straight into Reiner’s arms, expecting to be caught.


Luckily, no matter how fucked off his head Reiner was, he managed to stop them both from falling, and then Eren was hooking his feet behind around the blonde’s waist. He didn’t even remember when they started kissing, but suddenly they were all over each other, Reiner still carrying Eren as he gripped his ass hard. Eren distantly heard someone cheer (someone would tell him later that it was Ymir), and as he groaned against Reiner’s lips, he was acutely aware of the kind of show he was putting on. It was like he could feel each set of eyes that was on him, and while it might’ve been the drugs, he wanted everyone to know what he could do.


Bending down, he bit the flesh of Reiner’s neck hard, before sucking on the skin. Fingers clenched in his hair, and as Reiner held him tightly, Eren kept suckling and grinding down against Reiner’s crotch. The guy was definitely hard, and Eren didn’t even have time to realise what he was doing before Reiner was letting him down, and he was turning around to kiss Bertholdt. By the time he was shoving his tongue down the taller man’s throat, Reiner was pressed up behind him, squishing him against Bertholdt’s chest. Eren moaned into the kiss, before feeling Reiner kiss down the back of his neck and slap him lightly on the ass.


Eren’s thought processes were foggy enough that by the time Reiner and Bertholdt broke away from him, he didn’t feel embarrassed as he wandered over to dance with Hanji and the others. He still didn’t know who a few of them were, although he was surprised to see Petra there and not Levi, who had seemingly vanished. Still, Eren felt carefree as he danced with them, at one point mock-grinding on a flustered Moblit purely for Hanji’s pleasure.


“I fucking love this guy!” Ymir screeched at one point, and Eren grinned widely at the validation.


Bertholdt came back with a drink a bit later, which Eren ended up drinking half of, sloppily kissing the dark-haired man as an apology when he pouted. Eren felt like he was on top of the world, with everyone around him laughing and smiling and having the time of their lives, and he just wished he’d found out how to be this happy earlier in life.


“Where’s Levi?” Hanji yelled to Petra when the music died down for a few seconds. Eren was glad he hadn’t been the one to ask, but had managed to overhear thanks to being next to them.


“Fucking some chick in the bathrooms, probably.”


Eren tried not to let that thought get to him, but as he began to jump up and down with the others to the next song, he couldn’t help but think of Levi. Fuck, he was jealous, because if Levi was going to get with anyone, it needed to be him.


In hindsight, it was bad idea to go to the bathroom in search of Levi, but to say Eren was thinking clearly right now was a complete joke. He didn’t even remember getting there, but suddenly he was standing in front of the dirty sink, listening for moans or any other sounds of fucking. At some point, that devolved into him leaning against the sink in question, swaying side to side as he fought to keep his eyes open.


“You okay, dude?”


Eren flinched and look over to where an attractive guy around his age was staring at him. His light-brown hair was messy, tousled in the right way that had Eren immediately checking him out, despite his compromised state.


“Yeah,” he responded, doing his best to stand up straight, “I’m just waiting for my friend to finish fucking.”


And yeah, Levi wasn’t in the bathroom, clearly. In fact, Eren was pretty sure that he and this new guy were the only ones there, but that didn’t really matter. He still felt high as balls, like he was acutely aware of each hair follicle on his skin, and then he was swaying again. The other guy went to catch him, but tripped over himself, making Eren realise that he was just as fucked up.


“Come on,” the guy beckoned, his voice slurring heavily as he grabbed Eren by the shoulder. “Let’s go find your friend.”


Shit, Eren had never been this out of control before, but he couldn’t bring himself to stop as he followed the random guy through the club, until he realised that he had no idea where he was. He didn’t feel panicked, not with his new friend to keep him company, so when they stumbled through another door and into a back alley, Eren just laughed.


“How’d we get here?”


The other man just shrugged his shoulders, before slumping against the brick wall. Eren could still hear the dull thump of the bass from inside, but other than that the area seemed to be quiet.


And honestly, Eren didn’t even know who’d started it, but a second later he was pressing the guy into the wall, licking into his mouth and messing up his hair even more. The guy kissed back hungrily, and then Eren was dropping to his knees, not thinking twice as he fumbled for the man’s belt.


“Oh fucking hell,” the guy mumbled, “you’re so hot.”


Spurred on by the encouragement, Eren finally unbuckled the belt, and after slipping the guy’s jeans and underwear down to his knees, wrapped his lips around his waiting cock. The guy wasn’t as big as what Eren was used to, and so Eren was able to comfortably take him down to the base, slurping noisily and breathing out of his nose. The guy’s cock felt heavy on his tongue, and the salty precum was quickly lapped up as Eren pulled back to swirl his tongue around the head.


He was distinctly aware that this wasn’t his best work, and even as he slobbered all over the cock in his mouth, he couldn’t bring himself to care. Spit spilled down over his chin, wetting the front of his shirt and making the blowjob even messier. But it was worth it, because as Eren looked up at the random guy (and fuck, he still didn’t even know the dude’s name), he swelled with pride at how ruined he looked, eyes wide and mouth parted in awe of Eren’s skills.


Hand slinked through Eren’s hair, gripping him tightly without controlling him. Content that the guy was at least being a gentlemen, Eren kept going, licking up the underside of the his shaft. The wet length bounced off the bridge of his nose as he did so, coating him with more of his own saliva, and Eren didn’t think he’d ever given a blowjob this messy.


“Oh fuck,” the guy was muttering, as he gripped Eren’s hair tighter, and clearly about to cum. “oh fuck oh fuck oh fu-”


“Eren, what the fuck!”


Ymir’s shrill voice ripped through the night air, and Eren pulled back from the dick he was sucking in shock. Because Ymir, Historia, Reiner, Mike and Levi were there, having turned the corner into the alley from the main street. And suddenly Eren became completely aware that he was giving head to a random guy that he’d just met, in a dirty back alley, in front of half of his friends.


He did the only reasonable thing to do, which was to piss himself laughing.


“That’s Levi!” He giggled to the guy above him, pointing in Levi’s direction (and holy shit, he was fucked off his head). “That’s the guy we were trying to find!”


“Levi!” The guy cheered, not seeming embarrassed or pissed off at all as he dopily waved at the group.


Reiner was doubled over and shaking with laughter, and the others all seemed to be similarly amused, except for Levi. A raised eyebrow was all Eren got for being in the state he was in, expression as unreadable as always.


“At least let go of his dick, you idiot!” Reiner howled, and a moment later Eren was being swept away by his friends, barely managing to wave goodbye to his new friend before Reiner was scooping him up over his shoulder, playfully slapping him on the ass as he did so.


“Bye, random dude!” Eren waved to the guy, who despite literally being left with his dick in his hands, seemed nonplussed.


“My name’s Floch! Bye Eren!”


As Reiner carried him back to the group, Eren giggled. “Floch’s a silly name,” he slurred.


When Reiner finally put him down, Mike punched him on the shoulder. “You’re a crazy bastard, Eren! We’ve been looking for you for like an hour, we thought you’d gotten lost. It was lucky that Levi saw you go out the back.”


An hour? Shit.


Eren turned to Levi, who just shrugged. “You two weren’t exactly subtle.” He pulled a tissue out of his pocket, before handing it to Eren. “And clean yourself up, for fucks sake.”


Yeah, Eren probably needed to wipe the drool off his chin.


By the time they’d made it back to the front of the club, Eren had managed to get a piggyback from Reiner, who was still giggling and stumbling all over the place. The rest of the group, namely Bertholdt, Hanji, Moblit, Petra, Eld and the others he didn’t know, were gathered outside, and turned when Reiner yelled out.


“We found him! Little shit was giving head to some rando in the back alley!”


“Shut up!” Eren growled as he smacked Reiner on the head, blushing a little as the people in the line out front turned as well. He hid into the crook of Reiner’s neck, feeling his cheeks burning from more than just the drugs and alcohol.


The rest of the group had similar reactions to the ones that had found him, and by the time they were on their way back to Historia’s apartment, Hanji had officially crowned Eren “the best freshman ever”. Fighting down the pleased thrill that rocked him from hearing that, Eren had been formally introduced to Mike’s friends, Nanaba and Gelgar, as well as the guys that Petra and Eld had arrived with, called Oluo and Gunther. As they walked back, Eren contently nestled against Reiner’s neck, nipping at the skin as he went. There was already a large hickey formed from his earlier ministrations, and Eren was busy with the next one by the time they made it back.


Walking next to them, Bertholdt had a hand in Eren’s hair. Eren preened into the touch, feeling fingers scrape over his scalp and sending shivers through his body.


His white shirt was still damp with his own spit from earlier, and while it wasn’t the best look, he couldn’t really care enough to hide it. By now, he’d calmed down enough to recognise how crazy he’d acted, but didn’t regret a second of it. Sure, getting down on his knees for a random in the club had maybe been a bit far, but he oddly felt proud of himself.


After so many years of feeling like he couldn’t express himself entirely, it felt freeing to be so ridiculously slutty, even if it really wasn’t his true nature. Besides, he felt a little vindicated to surprise Ymir, Mike and a few of the others, who, while they hadn’t looked down on him, had probably thought of him as too reserved to truly hang out with them.


Sighing contently, he nestled in further onto Reiner’s back. He was young, he allowed to be crazy.


Eren just hoped that Mikasa wouldn’t freak when she found out.






By the time Eren and Mikasa had finally lugged the rolled-up rug, with the body inside, down the stairs and out onto the street, they were both panting. It’d been much heavier than they’d anticipated, and Eren’s ribs were screaming in protest with each heave, but it had to be done. Levi was still upstairs, which Eren was thankful for, because at least that way they might have a chance of cleaning up after themselves.


As they hauled their loot towards the street, Mikasa’s eyes narrowed upon recognising the vehicle Eren was leading them too.


“Is that Connie’s van?” She asked, looking surprised.


Eren just nodded. “Come on.”


Neither of them talked about the phone call. Of what had happened when Eren had tentatively answered.


He could still hear the gruff words from the other end of the line, rattling around in his brain.


I know you think you’re doing the right thing, Eren. But stop for one second and just think about this.”


But no matter what happened, this probably wasn’t going to end well for Eren. Levi had been in this from the start, but he’d been selfish and gotten Mikasa roped in too. Sure, she’d dropped everything to help him without hesitation, but she would still go down with him when this all eventually went to shit.


Fumbling for the keys, Eren eventually managed to get the back doors to the mini-van unlocked. Swinging them wide, no sooner had he and Mikasa dumped the rug inside when there was a voice behind them, making Eren freeze.


“Eren? What’re you doing?”

Chapter Text

Then. Five Weeks Ago


By the time they got back to Historia’s apartment, it was well past 3am, reminding Eren of how out of it he’d been that night. Already, most of the finer details of the night were a blur, but he didn’t really care, not when Reiner was currently leaving bite marks all down his neck.


Most of the group had clearly arranged to crash at Historia’s, despite the fact that Ymir had immediately dragged the her into the master bedroom upon entering the apartment. As per what he’d told Jean and Mikasa, Eren had been planning to do the same, but a nuzzle from Reiner caught his attention.


“Wanna come back to ours?” He asked, clearly looking hopeful.


And fucking yeah, Eren did. Remembering being told from someone at some point that the two men had bought their own apartment at the start of the year, away from campus, he nodded eagerly.


Bertholdt was clearly in agreement, and while Eren had forgotten about them momentarily earlier, he supposed that the night had always been heading in that direction. The three of them hugged everyone as they left, and when Eren approached Levi, he threw caution to the wind and wrapped the shorter man in a strong embrace.


“Thanks for looking out for me,” he mumbled, because even if it hadn’t been obvious, Levi had clearly been keeping track of him to have known where he was.


Levi was silent for a moment, before throwing back a quiet “don’t mention it, Eren,” and when Eren pulled back, the Levi had a small smirk on his face.


“Try not to fall onto another dick on your way back, Eren,” Hanji shouted as they left, and Eren playfully flipped her the bird on the way out.


After that, Eren let Reiner and Bertholdt lead the way outside, where one of them had clearly called a cab while saying goodbye, because they piled in with Eren between them. The ride back itself was a blur of kissing and hands all over the place, and while Eren felt bad for the driver, he was quickly distracted by Bertholdt’s hand stroking him through his jeans. Reiner was once again all over his mouth and neck, paying him back for all those earlier bites and bruises. Teeth scraped over Eren’s distressed skin, and as Bertholdt licked around the top of his ear, Eren moaned loudly. He didn’t want to think about what his neck and collarbones would look like tomorrow, but right now he was in the moment enough to beckon them both for more.


By the time the car parked outside Reiner and Bertholdt’s apartment building and the driver all but threw them out onto the sidewalk, Eren was a wreck in the two’s arms. Reiner shouted a half-hearted apology over his shoulder as the cab sped off, and then they were stumbling into the building and up the stairs. Stopping every few steps to fondle them more, Eren had to eventually be pulled away from Bertholdt, after he’d tried to get down on his knees and suck the man off right in the stairwell.


Eventually, they barged into the apartment, and despite being there for the first time, Eren paid no attention to the surroundings, instead busying himself with ripping of Bertholdt’s shirt. It was hard to do while kissing him, and Eren was pretty sure he teared off a button or two, but the other man didn’t seem to mind, judging by how he was moaning against Eren’s lips. Reiner was somewhere behind Bertholdt, and when Eren pulled back long enough to slip the Bertholdt’s shirt over his head, he was helped by him. Both of their hands were immediately over Bertholdt’s lean body, fingernails raking over skin and pinching at the nipples.


Bertholdt was similar to Eren in his build, relatively slim but muscular, and Eren remembered that the man was a swimmer. He was also mostly hairless, save for a small dusting of dark fuzz between his pecs and a thin trail leading down from the navel. Eren was immediately attracted to it, and for the second time in the last few minutes, dropped to his knees. He was already mouthing at the outline of Bertholdt’s cock when Reiner’s fingers carded through his hair, having wrapping himself around from behind Bertholdt’s body to guide Eren’s actions.


By the time Eren finally had Bertholdt’s cock free from the zipper and was shrugging the jeans down, Reiner was all but shoving him into it. He messily slurped over the head, before gagging on the length because damn, Bertholdt was bigger than he’d expected. Pulling back, he stroked over the shaft, before grinning up at its owner.


“Fucking donkey dick,” he slurred, still a little drunk (and probably still high as well), which got a small blush from Bertholdt as well as a smirk from Reiner.


“Told ya. Mr. Colossal over here can’t take a compliment,” Reiner laughed.


And it was true. Bertholdt’s cock was probably the biggest that Eren had ever had in his mouth, and he took his time with it, licking up the side of the shaft before suckling on the head. He was nearly twice as big as the guy he had started sucking off in the alley earlier, Floch, his brain recalled, and the contrast was evident, judging by the way he choked a second later. Reiner’s hands had migrated from his hair to the base of Bertholdt’s dick, and when Eren bobbed his head down, his lips kissed the fingers jacking the lower half off.


Bertholdt was all moans above him, and when Eren flicked his eyes up, he could see him kissing Reiner over his shoulder, who was still pressed flush against his back.


Fuck, this was insane.


Eren still didn’t quite understand what Bertholdt and Reiner were too each other, but it was definitely somewhere past platonic but not quite exclusive. There was definitely love between them, and when Reiner pulled back, Eren could see the pure adoration in his eyes. Bertholdt was similarly transfixed, and for a moment Eren felt like an outsider, but then Reiner was beckoning him back to his feet and capturing him in a long kiss. It wasn’t quite as loving as the one between the two of them, but definitely rawer and more animalistic, reminding Eren that he had a place here, with them.


Bertholdt was stepping out of his jeans, and as he bent down to undo his shoes and socks, Eren decided it was time that he and Reiner joined the Bertholdt in undressing. He helped Reiner out of his clothes, the sinfully tight shirt that had been showing off his massive muscles all night proving to be some trouble. But underneath, Reiner was glorious. All hulking might, biceps that felt as thick as Eren’s thighs and pecs probably bigger than many girls’ tits.


If Jean could see him now, with his hands splayed over Reiner’s monstrous pecs, the poor fucker would’ve freaked.


As Eren leant down to bite as his nipples, Reiner groaned. “Fuck yeah, Eren. Shit, you’re unbelievable.”


Grinning against Reiner’s nipple, Eren busied himself with undoing Reiner’s belt and helping him out of his jeans. The man’s thighs were like tree trunks, and when he bent down for his shoes, Eren got an eyeful of an ass that he just wanted to bury his face into. Suddenly, Bertholdt was with them again, and after a few more moments of attention to Eren’s clothes, all three of them were completely naked and wanting.


When Bertholdt leant down to kiss Eren once again, he was surprised when he felt a second pair of lips to the left-side of his mouth. Reiner didn’t hesitate to make the kiss into a three-way, and Eren and Bertholdt angled themselves to accommodate him. It was a sloppy mess of tongues and teeth, all elements of a typical kiss abandoned in favour of licking over each other’s lips and swapping spit. At one point, Bertholdt positioned his mouth above Reiner’s and slowly, tantalizingly, spat straight into his open mouth. The sight alone made Eren groan desperately, and then he was throwing himself at Reiner, licking up the small amount of saliva that had landed on his lip before shoving his tongue into Reiner’s mouth.


By the time he pulled back, Reiner’s smirking lips looked devilishly swollen and bright pink. Looking wrecked, he moaned again when Bertholdt wrapped his long fingers around his cock. Reiner’s dick was smaller than Bertholdt’s, about the same length as Eren’s but curving to the left. It had a thick vein running over the top, and Eren was about to bend down to lick at it before he was interrupted.


Bertholdt grinned, surprisingly confident despite his usual silence. “Tell us what you want, Reiner.”


Reiner didn’t hesitate. “Want you to fuck me.” That caught Eren off guard, but then Reiner was kissing him, before continuing to talk against his lips. “Wanna help spitroast me, Eren?” And even if Eren hadn’t have been game (because of fucking course he was), the pure excitement in Reiner’s tone would’ve spurred him on to wanting it.


The bedroom that Bertholdt led them to was clearly a joint room, despite the fact that he and Reiner were still apparently “not together”. Eren could see Reiner’s leather jacket slung over the desk chair, and those were definitely Bertholdt’s reading glasses on the bedside table. But he was shaken out of his thoughts of domesticity by Reiner, who had already climbed onto the bed on all fours.


Eren was quick to follow his lead, kneeling on the sheets in front of Reiner’s head and letting him swallow him down. Reiner was clearly enthusiastic to be sucking him off, judging by the muffled moans he was making despite getting no pleasure himself. A moment later, Bertholdt joined them, already pouring lube over his fingers to prepare Reiner. He wasted no time in getting to work, and while Eren couldn’t see the action, Reiner’s moans increasing in volume around Eren’s cock were evidence enough. Bertholdt’s arm was quivering from where he was fingering Reiner, and Eren groaned and tried not to buck his hips too far.


Sensing Eren’s eyes on him, Bertholdt looked up and smirked. “So glad you get to see him like this, Eren. All loose and begging for dick. He’s been wanting this all night, even prepared himself this afternoon to wait for me.”


It was something Eren honestly hadn’t seen coming, really. Call him old fashioned, but with Reiner being the bulkier, more confident of the two, he’d imagined that he would be dominant in bed towards the shy, quiet Bertholdt. But this was something else, and Eren could see it in the hard stare of Bertholdt’s eyes that he was used to this. To making Reiner his.


At that moment, Reiner pulled off Eren’s cock with a gasp. He looked deliciously wrecked, eyes watering and a string of spit still connecting him to Eren.


“Fuck my face, baby. Want you to make me choke on it.”


And all Eren needed was an affirming nod from Bertholdt before he was off, thrusting heavily into Reiner’s throat. As Bertholdt clearly added another finger into his hole, Reiner gagged loudly around Eren, throat convulsing. Eren swore he’d never heard a sexier sound, and followed it up by punishing Reiner’s throat, bucking his hips with abandon. Saliva was pooling around the corner of Reiner’s mouth, the guy making no effort to make himself look presentable as he slurped wetly around the shaft.


Eventually, Bertholdt removed his fingers from Reiner, and after wiping them on the sheets, was slicking his dick up with more lube. And as he lined himself up with Reiner’s hole, Eren’s eyes widened, because there wasn’t a condom in sight.


As if sensing his surprise, Bertholdt looked up. “Reiner and I fuck raw, but we’ve got a condom here for when it’s your turn. Is that okay?”


Eren was already nodding, eyes glued to Bertholdt’s cock as he slid straight into Reiner. He did it with such a force that it pushed Reiner down to the root of Eren’s own dick, a wet noise coming from his mouth. Reiner was gasping around his cock, something that only increased in pitch and volume as Berthold slowly began to thrust. It was stunning to watch, the way Bertholdt’s abs rippled with the action, the way his hips arced in a perfect roll, so that he was pressed flush to Reiner’s fat ass.


“Oh god, fuck me Bertl,” Reiner groaned when he finally pulled off Eren’s cock. His voice sounded rough, like Eren had ripped his throat to shreds, and as Bertholdt picked up speed, Reiner continued to jack Eren off.


Bertholdt’s breath began to come in quick gasps, and despite his unprecedented dominance, Eren could tell that the he was just as affected by the situation as they were. His hands came to rest at Reiner’s hips, gripping him tight, and as the thick slaps of skin on skin began to punctuate the air, Reiner threw himself back onto Eren’s cock. The rhythm was dynamic, ferocious yet intimate, and it was everything Eren could do to stop himself from throwing his head back and squeezing his eyes shut. Because he wasn’t going to miss this sight for the world, not when he and Bertholdt were bouncing Reiner back and forth between them like a fucking tennis ball.


It was messy, so fucking messy. Once or twice, there was the painful scrape of teeth against his cock, making Eren gasp and flinch as Reiner lost control. But in the context of everything, it was so fucking small that Eren brushed it off, more than happy to let Reiner’s teeth graze him over and over again if it meant he kept getting to watch the Reiner sob around him. And those were fucking tears down Reiner’s cheeks, probably more likely to be from Eren’s thrusts making his eyes water than from actually being reduced to crying.


The gags coming from Reiner were relentless, and Eren was still in awe at how the he was holding up between them, because this was fucking brutal. At one point, Bertholdt actually leaned forward to shove Reiner’s head further down Eren’s cock, and the way the Reiner’s ridiculously large back muscles tensed in front of his eyes was proof enough of the state Reiner was in.


“I’m close,” Bertholdt gasped out, all of a sudden, and Eren realised that those words were directed at him and not to Reiner.


Eren thought at first that it was a sign for him to take over to give Bertholdt a break, but then the Bertholdt was leaning over Reiner’s back, so that he was close to his ear.


“Gonna paint you all over, baby.”


The words were filthy, and Reiner’s desperate whines made it clear that they had the desired effect. A few seconds later, Bertholdt’s hips stuttered, and he bit his bottom lip and groaned, long and deep. Reiner’s movements around Eren’s cock became frantic, and it was clear that Bertholdt was blowing inside him, something that almost made Eren cum as well, right there and then. But he’d be damned if he missed out on Reiner’s ass that night, so he reluctantly pulled away from the mouth on him, letting the formally muffled moans be heard clearly. The gasps coming from Reiner were low, masculine yet frantic at the same time, and a literal sweat had broken out on his forehead.


Eren allowed Reiner and Berthold that moment to each other, as Bertholdt leant forward again to pull Reiner up, so that they were both kneeling. Reiner turned his head and kissed the other man over his shoulder, and now that they were vertical Eren could see the Reiner’s cock, rock hard and angry, having been ignored the whole time. Eventually, Bertholdt let Reiner down, and as he gently pulled out of his ass, Eren was already shuffling round to the other side of the bed.


He’d seen Reiner’s ass before, when they were in the main room and again when moving to the bed, but to see it like this now, raw and loose from Bertholdt’s massive cock, was another thing entirely. His hole was bright red, gaping just a little from being used by something so big. And when the slightest amount of cum began to dribble out, Eren whined needily, before diving right in. He heard Bertholdt gasp in surprise next to him, but didn’t care because he was licking the seed right out of Reiner, sealing his lips around the rim and sucking to get more out.


“Fu- Eren!” Reiner moaned, and Eren joined him in making desperate grunts when he got another bit of cum from Reiner’s hole.


A hand stroked over his shoulders. “You’re amazing, Eren. Fuck, you’re so good for us,” Bertholdt whispered, soft but rough.


Eventually, Eren lapped up all he could, and as he reluctantly withdrew from Reiner’s cheeks, he slapped him on the left one for good measure. The muscular flesh jiggled a bit, and Eren bit back a hungry moan. Fucking hell, he’d have played with that ass all night if it wasn’t already so late.


“You two are gonna kill me,” Reiner was panting when he finished, laughing a little but still sounding ravaged.


Bertholdt already had the lube and condom ready for Eren when regained his composure, so it didn’t take long to get ready and slick himself up. Reiner’s ass was still wet from lube and Eren’s spit, so it didn’t need any more work. But just as Eren went to push into the bigger man, Bertholdt stopped him.


“Wait,” he ordered and fucking hell, Eren did. “Wanna see you ride him Reiner.”


Now that he could get on board with. Despite finishing, Bertholdt was still clearly in charge, and as Eren let himself be directed to lie down on the bed, Reiner groggily picked himself up. He sniffled wetly, but made no effort to wipe his wet mouth and chin, before climbing over to Eren.


And goddamn, that big fucker knew the effect he was having on Eren, judging by the way he was smirking as he positioned himself, ass facing Eren. He wasted no time in sitting on Eren’s cock, ass cheeks jiggling again as he bottomed out. Eren groaned, longer and more desperately than he had all night, drinking in the dramatic taper of Reiner’s broad shoulders to his ridiculously narrow waist. His body was a literal fucking triangle, with a muscular ass to match that bounced when he began to fuck himself on Eren’s cock.


“Fucking hell,” Eren moaned, rubbing his eyes as he lay back and let Reiner use his dick. “God, Reiner.”


“He’s amazing, isn’t he.” Bertholdt had draped himself beside Eren and shit, wasn’t he feeling talkative tonight? Bertholdt stroked his fingers over Eren’s chest, tweaking his nipples before leaning in to bite them. That made Eren cry out again, and Reiner’s thrusts were so fucking powerful that his pelvis was actually hurting, like he was being fucked right into the mattress. Reiner was bent over Eren’s legs, bracing himself with his arms while fucking down onto him with rigorous abandon.


“Fuck fuck fuck…” Reiner was chanting loudly, over and over again, still sounding just as broken despite the fact that he was in control now. His ass was pounding into Eren’s hips violently, and while Eren’s eyes were glued to his cock disappearing into Reiner’s hole, he couldn’t help but admire the rest of the man’s godly body, so much larger than his and Bertholdt’s.


Eventually, Reiner’s flexing hole and bouncing cheeks became too much for Eren, and he swallowed down a sharp grunt. “I’m close.”


Bertholdt hummed and pulled off his nipples, pleased. “Wanna see you blow all over Reiner’s chest.”


And yeah, too say Eren would be game for that would be the understatement of the year. Hearing them, Reiner reluctantly sat up, the swollen cock falling out of him and slapping back onto Eren’s navel. They were quick to shuffle around, so that Reiner was on his back again, and Eren was straddling his stomach, pulling off the condom and jacking himself off with lightning fast movements.


It didn’t take longer than a few more seconds before he was cumming, splattering his seed all over Reiner’s pectoral muscles. The first few ropes actually shot further, coating Reiner’s lips and chin, but the rest dribbled over his pecs and nipples, Bertholdt right there to rub it into the Reiner’s skin all the while. By the time Eren finished, he was a shaking mess, legs quivering as he struggled not to collapse on top of Reiner.


When he regained his strength, Eren surged forward, capturing Reiner’s lips and licking his own cum off them. Reiner moaned, more desperately than expected, and after a second Eren realised that Bertholdt had started sucking the him off. The last man standing had obviously been inches away from blowing himself, and Eren kept the kiss going as he came, letting Reiner swear into his mouth as they made out.


Eren pulled back after that, looking down at Reiner’s shattered expression before turning to a breathless Bertholdt.


“Holy shit.”


The three of them were laughing soon after that, mostly from the exhaustion of what they’d been through, but also in amazement. They fell asleep like that, naked and tangled together, with night gone and sun almost ready to rise.




The first thing Eren became aware of when he woke up was the foot in his face.


And while Reiner’s feet weren’t smelly or anything, it was still a foot, so he rolled away and scrunched his face. Reiner was still naked, but had moved in the night so that he was wrapped entirely in the duvet, leaving Eren bare and off to the side. How he’d ended up head-to-toe with the guy, he had no fucking clue.


They were alone in the bed, but Eren could smell coffee in the next room, which meant that Bertholdt had probably just gotten up. When he shifted, Eren was surprised to find out that he felt fine, almost no hangover at all. Apart from the cap, he’d only had one drink at the club, so that was to be expected, but it was a relief to see that he was fine with the drug itself.


Hanji had warned him that he might have a come-down of sorts, where his body felt the low that came after the high. But it hadn’t hit, not yet at least, and while he knew that sometimes it could take more than a day, he was feeling in good spirits, so took that a win. And given how he usually ended up the morning after drinking, Eren felt extra lucky.


Still, his jaw ached like a motherfucker, probably due to the excessive clenching that had come after he’d lost his chewing gum.


A glance at the clock on the wall showed it was only 8:30, which explained why he was still tired. Still, Eren knew that he wouldn’t sleep well after using, despite how late they’d gone to bed. The case was obviously the same for Bertholdt, judging by how he was up.


Eren intended to be quiet as he sat up, but upon glancing at Reiner he was surprised to see the man was actually awake. His were open, but he remained rolled on his side, resting his head on his bicep.


“Morning,” Eren greeted, “you feeling like shit?”


Again, he was caught off guard when Reiner didn’t so much as acknowledge him, never mind actually reply. In fact, apart from the quick flicker of his pupils, the man didn’t so much as move, and Eren leant forward, concerned.


“Seriously, are you okay? Do you need me to get Bertl?”


Whatever he’d been expecting from Reiner, it hadn’t been the reaction he got. Because Reiner grunted, as if he was annoyed by Eren, before rolling over more so that Eren couldn’t see his face. All the while, he pulled the blankets tighter, wrapping himself up like a sausage.


“Wow,” Eren muttered, feeling scathed and a little pissed off, “I’ll leave you alone then.”


Predictably, the body that was formally Reiner Braun didn’t move an inch as he got up, searching for his underwear. While he doubted Bertholdt would care if he walked out naked, Eren preferred to cover himself up at least a little. Although, with Reiner acting like a stuck-up prick, should he expect Bertholdt to be any better?


But as Eren exited the bedroom and closed the door quietly behind him, Bertholdt grinned from where he was brewing a pot of coffee in the kitchen.


“Morning, Eren,” he greeted, looking far too happy for someone who’d slept so little. Like Eren, he was wearing only a pair of boxer briefs, and Eren could see the guy’s cock under the tight cotton.


Fuck, even soft, Bertholdt was a monster.


Eren grunted back, nodding politely while tiredly rubbing his eyes. He was too tired to think about sex right now, at least until he had some caffeine in him. “Did you make enough coffee for two?”


“Sure. Reiner still asleep?”


Deciding to be honest, Eren shrugged. “He’s awake. Acting weird, though.”


He was so sleep-deprived that Eren almost missed the subtle change in Bertholdt’s disposition. It wasn’t anything dramatic, but as Bertholdt set the first steaming cup of coffee down on the bench, his expression turned serious and his eyebrows furrowed.


“How so?”


“I dunno, he’s just ignoring me. I think he’s feeling awkward about last night? The guy’s just staring at the wall, not even reacting to me. Totally dick move if I’m being honest…”


Bertholdt’s move was instantaneous, and he breezed past Eren and towards the bedroom. For a moment, Eren thought he was going to chew Reiner out, but as he entered the room, Eren heard him mutter something warm and loving, before closing the door behind him. That left Eren alone in the main room, and without anything to do, he picked up the still full mug left by Bertholdt, sipping the scalding hot coffee while moving to the sofa.


It was a little cold in the apartment, so Eren was thankful for the big, woolly rug on the floor, which warmed his feet a little as he ran his toes through it.


He’d left his phone in the room with Reiner and Bertholdt, and despite his curiosity, he decided to afford the two some privacy, instead opting to turn on the TV. The first thing that appeared was some morning news show, the kind of one where everyone was way too happy to be up at that hour. Eren just sipped away at his coffee, listening to the anchors discuss whatever was relevant while he waited for the other two.


If he was honest, he was curious as fuck to know what was going on, but fought down the urge to panic and instead focused on the screen in front of him. Reiner and Bertholdt were his friends, and whatever this was, they’d be fine.


And if things weren’t going to be fine, then fuck them. Eren wasn’t going to waste any more of his life on people who didn’t want to be around him.


By the time Bertholdt finally re-emerged from the room, a full twenty minutes had passed. The taller man was fully dressed, wearing a plain shirt and a pair of jeans, not quite as tight as the ones from last night but still form-fitting. He was also wearing his glasses and carrying Eren’s clothes and phone in his arms.


“Hey,” he murmured, as he closed the door behind him. Still no sign of Reiner. “Wanna go for a walk? Get a coffee?”


And despite the fact that there was a fresh brew right behind them, Eren nodded and turned off the TV, because the expression on Bertholdt’s face told him this was serious. He got dressed quickly, grateful that the morning weather was warm as they left the apartment. Bertholdt locked the door behind him, and then they walked in silence out of the building.


In fact, Bertholdt didn’t speak for the entire walk to the café at the end of the street, and despite his burning interest, Eren let him think. Obviously, whatever was going on was more serious than he’d thought, and despite everything, Eren fought down the urge to panic. This likely wasn’t about him, and if it was, there was no use worrying about it until he found out why.


It wasn’t until ten minutes later, after they’d ordered their coffees and sat down at a small table by the window, that Berthold took a sip of his before finally speaking.


“Reiner… has bipolar disorder.”


And fuck, whatever Eren had been expecting, it wasn’t that. It felt like all the wind had been knocked out of him, and all at once Eren felt terrible. He’d been so ignorant that morning, calling Reiner a prick and walking out on him, thinking about himself as usual. Bertholdt was staring down at his coffee, not able to meet Eren’s eyes, and he could see the worried yet resigned expression on the man’s face.


“Shit,” Eren breathed, still not sure what to say or how to process what he was feeling, “I had no idea.”


Bertholdt swallowed. “That’s the idea. It’s manic depression, so huge highs and massive lows. The Reiner you see all the time, the guy who’s always laughing like he doesn’t have a care in the world? That’s him at his best. He’s lucky in that he doesn’t have too many lows, compared to some people at least, but when he crashes it’s fucked up.”


“Fuck.” Honestly, Eren was still lost for words. Because this was Reiner, the guy who’d been friendly from the start to him, to Jean and Connie and Sasha and Mikasa. The guy seemed unstoppable, and last night had only reaffirmed the fact. Everyone wanted to be Reiner, to be as good-looking as him, as nice as him, to have as much fun as him.


“Who else knows?”


“Just Annie,” Bertholdt replied. “They spar together, so Reiner told her one time afterwards, when he had to take his medication in front of her. Ymir knows something as well, I think, although I don’t know how much.”


And when he thought about it, Eren had indeed noticed that Ymir seemed to be kinder to Reiner than the rest of them, at least as kind as she could be. Glad to see that the woman did have a heart after all, Eren turned back to his most pressing thought.


“So, last night,” Eren began, carefully, so that Bertholdt knew what he meant. “With the…?”


“Caps?” Bertholdt finished for him and god, the man looked ashen. “Yeah, it wasn’t a great idea. Reiner just gets so caught up in the moment, and when he’s at his peak, he thinks he’s untouchable. I’ve tried stopping him, but he won’t listen to me. And most of the time it doesn’t mess with his medication.”


“But it did last night?”


At that, Bertholdt did look up, his expression hard. “You think I’m an enabler, Eren?” And before he could deny it, the guy’s face crumpled. “I am,” he continued, more quietly. “Reiner gets so excited about getting high, and I’m too scared to bring him down by stopping him. Only reason I took one last night was so that I could drown out the guilt. He’s not the one who fucked up, I am.”


And before Bertholdt could continue, Eren’s hand had shot out to grasp his own. The taller man looked up, startled.


But Eren wasn’t backing down.


“You haven’t done anything wrong, okay? It’s a shitty situation, and you’re doing everything you can. This might sound rough, but if Reiner wants to get high and fuck up his medication, then that’s his choice. If you beat yourself up about it, then you’re not going to be able to support him, which is what he needs more than anything right now, okay?”


Bertholdt didn’t look convinced, but at least was better than before.


“What can I do to help?”


At that, the guy did smile, if sadly. “For now? Just be there for him. You don’t have to today, at least. I’m going to head home and stay with him for the day, try and get him out of bed. If I can’t, we’ll just watch some movies on my computer. Just go home and get some rest, and make sure your come-down isn’t too rough, okay? My memory’s a bit foggy from the club, but I remember someone had a pretty crazy night.”


Fuck, Eren was blushing, despite everything. Because yeah, he’d been a loose cannon last night, acting like a crazy little shit if he’d ever seen one. But he grinned back at Bertholdt, who was clearly getting ready to head back to the apartment.


Eren grabbed his coffee, and as they left the café, Bertholdt grabbed him by the arm.




When he turned, Eren was surprised to find Bertholdt hugging him. It was so different from just a few hours ago, when he’d been commanding Eren in the bedroom and helping him get off. But it felt right, natural even, and he returned the hug.


Upon separating, Bertholdt’s eyes were misty.


“Thanks. You don’t know how much I needed that.”


Another true smile formed on his lips. “You deserve every inch of it, Bertl. Don’t let yourself ever think you’re doing wrong by him. It’s obvious to all of us that Reiner’s head over heels for you. And if you ever need to talk, or just vent, I’m here.”


They parted a few minutes later, Bertholdt surprising Eren with a chaste kiss on the lips and a promise to fill him on how Reiner fared that day. And despite the bombshell that’d just been dropped, Eren grinned to himself on the way home, because Reiner would be just fine as long as he had Bertholdt with him.






“Eren? What’re you doing?”


The words cut through the night air like ice, and even as Eren slowly turned around, he knew from the voice who’d be standing there.


Blood was running down the side of Bertholdt’s head, and he had a hand clamped up on his right ear. But Bertholdt didn’t seem concerned with his injuries, and was instead looking straight at Eren with wide eyes.


“Bertholdt,” Eren breathed, his heart pounding in his chest. “What are you doing here?”


“What am I doing here? This is my fucking apartment building, Eren. What’re you doing here?”


“I-” Eren paused, not knowing what to say. Beside him, he could practically sense the tension in Mikasa.


“You’re hurt,” Eren eventually settled on, knowing it sounded dumb and obvious but not really sure what else to respond with.


“Of course I’m hurt,” Bertholdt growled back, uncharacteristically charged. “I just got punched in the head by your fucking professor, who’s out there somewhere looking for you.”


Eren didn’t say anything. He didn’t know what to say, apart from that he already knew that.


They were fucked.


“Where’s Reiner,” Bertholdt continued when Eren stayed silent, the taller man’s voice growing more frantic. “Eren, he left me… a really fucked up message. H-he didn’t sound okay.”


Bertholdt’s eyes were pleading, and all at once Eren’s heart broke for the man. He couldn’t tell him what happened, not without damning him, Mikasa and Levi.


“Eren…” Mikasa warned him from where she was standing. Her fingers were twitching.


Shit. He needed to dispel this.


“Bertl,” he began, trying to keep the quiver out of his voice as he lied. “Reiner’s fine. I just put him to bed upstairs, but he doesn’t want anyone near him. Why don’t we-”


“Shut up, you fucking liar!” Bertholdt screamed back. Eren flinched at the raw anger. “I listened to his message, he does not sound fine!”


Suddenly, Bertholdt’s eyes flickered to behind Eren, and he snapped his mouth closed.


When the other man finally spoke again, it was with scary amount of calmness.


“Eren, what did you just put in Connie’s van?”

Chapter Text

Then. Four Weeks Ago


“What the fuck Eren, that guy from the gym was your professor?!”


Eren flinched at the sound of Jean’s shrill voice as he entered the GSA room, immediately spotting his roommate at one of the tables. He, Connie and Sasha were staring at Eren in surprise, with Connie’s phone on the table between them. And despite the fact that Eren couldn’t see it, he knew that it had a picture of Erwin on the screen.


While he briefly considered just turning and leaving altogether, to avoid the impending conversation, Eren eventually collected himself and strode into the room, sitting down at the table with his friends.


“Hey Eren, how was your day?” Eren sarcastically mocked them, with a good amount of snark.


“Oh don’t be cute with me, Yeager. Not after the shit you’ve being pulling lately.”


Which to be fair, Jean did have a point. The gossip surrounding the night out that weekend had quickly circulated within their group, until everyone had been made aware of Eren’s crazy behaviour at the club, not to mention going home with both Reiner and Bertholdt. The attention had been a bit embarrassing, but Eren had taken it in stride, doing his best to appear aloof to the reactions he got.


Thankfully, Mikasa hadn’t been too mad when she’d found out. His sister had just sighed almost with resignation, before looking Eren straight in the eye.


“Just tell me you’re being safe, Eren.”


And that was one of the many reasons he fucking loved Mikasa. Sure, he was being safe in the bedroom, but he knew that the words themselves had deeper connotations, and that all Mikasa cared about was that he was being careful, looking after himself and making sure he wasn’t being pressured into anything. She wasn’t being overbearing or trying to control him, not like his father or brother tried to.


No, Mikasa recognised that Eren was his own entity. And for that, he was endlessly thankful.


Eren had also spoken to Bertholdt since the Sunday morning, catching up with the other man for coffee briefly the following day. Reiner was doing better, somewhat at least, but thanks to his medical diagnosis had permission to take the week off his studies to look after himself. Bertholdt had been in and out of the university, juggling his own pre-law degree with looking after his best friend.


“If you ever need some time away, I’m more than happy to stay with him for a bit,” Eren had told the Bertholdt the previous day.


“Thanks Eren, I mean it. But I’m fine, and Reiner needs me right now. He told me to tell you that he’s sorry for yesterday, though. He didn’t mean to be rude.”


And of course, Eren didn’t hold it against Reiner. Not when he was clearly struggling with something that Eren couldn’t even begin to comprehend. But as worried as he was for him, as well as Bertholdt’s own health by acting as his caretaker most of the time, Eren respected their privacy to give them their time together.


Which brought him to now, regretting that he’d turned up to the Tuesday evening GSA meeting.


“Can we please get back to the fact that you guys saw Professor Smith in the gym?” Connie blurted incredulously. “I knew that you went to him in office hours, but come on! Why didn’t you tell me?”


With both the boy’s gazes fixed solely on him, Eren was at least grateful that Sasha seemed nonchalant, munching on an apple and watching the conversation unfold with a detached interest.


“It wasn’t a big deal guys. I just asked him to help spot me.”


“Pfff,” Jean snorted. “You were pretty much trying to deepthroat him from that bench when I looked over. A blind person could’ve seen what you were trying to pull.”


Connie, who had turned to face Jean, immediately rounded back on Eren, his eyed wide with excitement. “Oh my god, Eren! You’re a real piece of work!”

“I wasn’t even-”


“I thought I was the thirsty one, but goddamn, you’re actually going for it.”


“How did you even find out?”


“Connie was telling us about his hot professor,” Sasha supplied helpfully, between mouthfuls. “Jean didn’t know what he looked like, so we showed him.”


“Showed him what?”


Oh great. Eren groaned as Marco took the seat next to him, looking around the group in question. Mikasa followed a second later, a quizzical look on her face.


Grinning victoriously, Connie replied. “Oh, just a picture of the world’s hottest professor, who Eren is apparently about to get down on his knees- ow!”


Eren punched Connie harshly on the shoulder, but he just laughed it off. Marco was also smiling, and once again Eren was made grateful by how well he’d taken Eren ending their friends with benefits arrangement.


“Oooh, show me!”


“Fuck off!” Eren interrupted, reaching for the phone, only to have Connie snatch it away at the last second.


Mikasa, who still hadn’t said anything since entering the room, just stared at Eren with a blank expression. And god, the way she did that unnerved him so fucking much, because he was meant to know what she was thinking.


When she did speak, it was with that same blank stare, but Eren could see the slightest of upticks to the corner of her mouth.


“Well come on, show him to me. It’s gotta be an upgrade from that guy at the club, at least.”


Eren groaned, slumping down onto the table as everyone roared with laughter and huddled around the picture once again.




Later, after the GSA meeting had run its course and more roles had been assigned for the rapidly approaching fundraiser, Eren paused as he followed his friends out of the room.


“Are you okay?”


Eren brushed off Mikasa’s concern, instead eyeing Levi, who had stayed behind in one of the corner chairs in the room. He’d been as surprised as everyone else when Levi had actually shown up to the meeting, even if he’d quickly shuffled to the back and all but tuned out. And now there he was, headphones in his ears and curled up, reading.


He looked adorable.


He was aware that that was a term many people wouldn’t likely associated with Levi. But Eren couldn’t help but think it, not when he could see Levi delicately chewing his bottom lip, looking tiny in the massive armchair. He was wearing one of his typical dark outfits, but the hoodie was clearly several sizes too big, almost making him look like a kid wearing adult’s clothing. Eren was also distinctly aware that if Levi ever heard him voicing these thoughts, the guy would probably smack him.


“Eren?” Mikasa’s words brought him back to reality, and he turned to see his sister waiting for him. Jean, Connie, Marco and Sasha were walking ahead, but Sasha was already turning around to see what was going on.


Swallowing, Eren glanced back to Levi. “Hey, ah, I’ll meet up with you guys later for dinner, okay? I wanna get a bit of study done here first.”


Mikasa only glanced around in confusion for a second before her eyes settled in on Levi. Understanding washing over her, she turned back to Eren.


“Eren… I think he’d bad news.”


That did surprise Eren, because after Mikasa had been so cool with his recent choices, from Marco to Reiner and Bertholdt, to even taking caps or going after his professor. He hadn’t expected Levi of all people to be the thing that got her concerned.


Although, thinking back to what Levi’s role had been for that weekend, Eren began to understand. “Mikasa, if its because he was the one that brought the drugs-”


“It’s not,” Mikasa cut in, before stopping to take a breath. “Well, the fact that he’s dealing doesn’t really help. I just… don’t like him.”


And… okay. Eren didn’t really know what to say to that.


“What? Since when did you talk to Levi?”


“Back at Historia’s the first time, when you were all over Marco. He’s just- do you really have to go for him as well? He’s such a jerk!”


Eren went to fire back that Levi wasn’t, but stopped himself. Because, to be fair, Levi was a bit of a jerk. But he was harmless, right? Just another grumpy dude that would probably end up getting on Eren’s nerves before long, but for now was just a bit of fun. And he still couldn’t get over the fact that the reason Mikasa didn’t approve of Levi was because she thought he was a jerk.


Honestly, Eren had no idea whether or not Mikasa was fucking with him.


When he stayed silent for longer than he’d intended, Mikasa groaned.


“You’re still going to talk to him, aren’t you.”


“… Yup.”


Thankfully, Mikasa seemed more indignant than genuinely angry as she huffed and childishly crossed her arms over her chest. It was still odd to Eren, to see her being somewhat playful even as she tried to advise him, and he supposed he had Annie, Sasha and everyone else to thank for her beginning to show more emotion.


“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”


Eren playfully rolled his eyes at her, and was pleasantly surprised to see a small, if disgruntled, smile on Mikasa’s face as she left him. It filled him with a certain degree of warmness, that Mikasa was doing so well now, after the shit hand life had dealt her.


Still, he’d been so surprised to find out that she was fine with him trying caps, and had barely batted an eyelid when she’d been filled in on Erwin. Although, that was probably due to everyone assuming that Eren had absolutely no chance with the professor.


Compared to those two things, Eren’s crush on Levi was simple.


It didn’t feel like that, though, as Eren sat down across from him a few minutes later. Feeling awkward all over again, he had to actually wave a hand to get Levi’s attention.


Removing his headphones, Levi just stared at him.


“What do you want?”


Well, wasn’t he a charmer? Maybe Mikasa was right.


But Eren just plastered on his best easy-going grin, the one he knew was likely the best part of his (still somewhat lacking) charm. “I just wanted to say thank you for looking after me on the weekend, again. Now that I’m not off my head.”


It sounded lame, and it was. But Levi just shrugged, before surprising Eren by closing the book he’d been reading.


“I’m pretty sure it was Reiner and Bertholdt who were looking after you.”


Whether or not he meant it literally, or was attempting to make a joke, Eren just laughed either way.


“I know. But I meant when I went around the back of the club with that guy,” he clarified. “Probably wasn’t the smartest move on my part, so thanks for helping to come find me. It seemed to put you in a bad mood, so sorry.”


Levi was silent for a few seconds, before nodding. “I knew you’d be fine with him, Eren. I was only pissed off because Shitty Glasses ruined my high by bitching at me to come help look for you.”


“Yeah, sorry about that,” Eren replied, sheepishly. At that moment, a question he’d being pondering for a few days came back to him, and he coughed. “Do you, uh, do that often?”

Holy shitballs, he was so fucking awkward. Sometimes Eren hated his brain.


But again, Levi either seemed to not notice or just didn’t care. Instead, the man just nodded in response.


“Yes. Does that make you uncomfortable?”


“N-no!” Eren hastily replied, wandering what kind of question that even was. “Saturday night was my first time doing it. Caps, I mean. But I like it. A lot!”


He felt like he was being cross-examined in court, the way Levi was looking at him. Levi was different in that way, to the point where every interaction with him made Eren’s heart skip a little. It was different with Erwin, where everything with that man seemed… premeditated in a way. Levi was composed in an eerily similar manner, but Eren couldn’t put his finger on what it was made him unique.


Whatever it was, Eren loved it.


“Would you do it again?” Levi asked eventually, once again looking at Eren in a way that he couldn’t decipher.


“Yes!” Eren all but shouted, because even though the night with Bertholdt and Reiner had been amazing, he knew that it would’ve also been an amazing time to pursue Levi. Realising that he was coming across as a bit desperate, he cleared his throat. “I mean, I think so. Do you, um, usually have access to it?”


Levi shot him a look that likely said ‘of course, you moron’, while the right side of his mouth curved upwards. “Yes, Eren. I do have access to it.”


And fuck, Levi was a sarcastic little shit. Eren liked that. “That’s cool! I mean, well… I wouldn’t mind doing it again, sometime I mean.”


Again, Levi just stared at him, and Eren grinned goofily.


“Do you, maybe… wanna hang out sometime? Not just to do the caps, I mean, but to, well, hang out.”


Had anyone ever been this awkward before?


But before Eren could take back his question, Levi was making a show out of sighing in mock resignation. Still, he nodded, and Eren’s heart soared.




Shuffling in his seat, Eren glanced around himself, gauging the room. It was massive, one of the biggest lecture halls on the university campus, and was currently filling up with people, most of whom were years older than Eren himself. Most historians weren’t young, it seemed.


Still, he found himself a little nervous, with Erwin right next to him.


When Eren had accepted the invitation as Erwin’s guest, he’d assumed that he’d be sitting with the older man. What he hadn’t predicted was how close they’d be, with him touching Erwin’s broad shoulders as the man relaxed into his seat beside him. They were in the second to front row, mostly due to the fact that Erwin had a speech early on in the conference. And apart from his interest in the subject he was doing, Eren didn’t know a whole lot about the study of history, and historians in general, so this was all alien to him.


Was it normal for a university professor to invite their students to be their plus one at a conference? Eren was hoping that it wasn’t, and that he was special.


That Erwin wanted him there for more than just to satisfy his mind.


In all actuality, the symposium itself was shorter than Eren had thought it’d be. There were several speakers, of course, but most of them were academics either plugging their own work or trying to disprove others. It reminded Eren a fair bit of the scientific research field, one he’d been contemplating as a career choice, where researchers would fight tooth and nail to gain funding for their projects, and then brag about their findings to their other, less fortunate peers.


Erwin’s speech, however, had been brilliant.


Eren had known that it would be, having heard the man talk all semester to a large audience. But whereas most of the old, stodgy professors had droned on for their few allotted minutes, making Eren glad for the time constraints, he could’ve listened to Erwin for hours. He was a true professional, clearly showing his passion for what he was presenting, while at the same time making it interesting for the audience. It was why he’d been so successful as a university lecture, and also partly why Eren had been so drawn to him.


He knew that, if Erwin had asked him, he’d follow the man into battle any day.


The only other notable speaker that evening had been Darius Zackly, an academic from the same university Armin studied at in Orvud. Like Erwin, he’d been a gifted speaker, and had focused on new findings surrounding the founding of areas like Shiganshina. It’d been intriguing, to say the least, and Eren had been glad to get something else out of the night apart from just hearing Erwin talk.


There was a dinner after the conference itself, which Eren had gathered was the true event of importance. It gave the academics a time to schmooze and network, and while he wasn’t particularly concerned in that area, it’d been interesting to see Erwin talk to others. Erwin had been polite, making sure to introduce Eren to all the historians he spoke to, even if Eren then spent the majority of the conversation idly listening in while sipping champagne.


The pivotal moment of the night arrived sooner than Eren had expected, when none other than Nile Dok had approached them.


“Erwin,” the man sneered, which was quickly becoming his default expression. “As always, it’s a pleasure. Although I wasn’t aware you were to have company tonight.”


Dok’s words dripped with condescension, and clearly Erwin sensed that, as he winced. “Nile, I’m sure you remember Eren here. He’s quite a bright-minded student of mine. Eren, meet Nile Dok.”


“That’s Professor Dok,” Nile Dok reminded him. “Erwin, I wanted to congratulate on your presentation. For someone more focussed towards herding students, I must say it was rather… quaint to hear your thoughts on the Great Marley War.”


It was a backhanded compliment if Eren had ever heard one, but Erwin kept a tight-lipped smile on his face as responded. “Thank you, Nile. Your presentation was also enlightening.”


And now that was a straight out lie. Dok’s brief presentation, if it could be called that, had been one of the duller moments of the night. Rather than being given a featured slot in the proceedings, Dok had been relegated to a shorter timeslot, getting up to talk just after the tea and coffee break mid-way through the symposium. It was obvious that the man was still irritated about the fact, and he seemed to be taking it out on Erwin.


“Eren,” Dok said all of a sudden, turning to him. “This must be all quite overwhelming for a student such as yourself, tangling with the world of higher academia. I’m sure that Professor Smith has told you, but do not feel pressured to stay any longer than is required. A young man such as yourself surely has somewhere to be on a Friday evening, with contemporaries more to your… level.”


Erwin stiffened beside him, and Eren narrowed his eyes.


He hated him.


“Nile, I’ve told Eren-”


“Actually, Professor,” Eren interrupted, cutting off Erwin and looking Dok dead in the eyes. “I’ve had an amazing night so far, and have been enjoying getting to hear the perspectives of some of the great minds here. The speeches were fantastic, although they ebbed a bit in the middle towards the break. But at least the coffee was good, to keep me from getting too overwhelmed.”


Eren practically spat out the last few words, and when he finished, shut his mouth with a loud click of his jaw. It was silent for a few moments, as Dok stared down at him with wide eyes and deep frown. Erwin was also silent, and Eren didn’t dare to look in his direction.


“My apologies, young man,” Dok finally uttered, even if he clearly didn’t mean it. “I’m sure I will see you around. Erwin,” he nodded in acknowledgement, before disappearing into the crowd of academics without another glance.


Shit. Eren had clearly pissed him off.


When Eren finally had the guts to look at Erwin, he was relieved to see that the older man was trying to suppress a smile.


“Sorry, was that too much?”


“On the contrary, Eren,” Erwin immediately rebutted, his face calmed but a delighted twinkle betraying his eyes. “I’ve been rather pleased with the night. Though I am getting rather weary, how about I see you home?”


As Erwin made the rounds, saying farewell to his colleagues, Eren snuck over to the nearest waiter, draining one final flute of champagne on his way out. The look in Erwin’s eyes had his heart beating faster, nerves fluttering through his limbs. Eren had taken a gamble, by speaking his mind to Dok, but Erwin was clearly pleased with him, and judging by that last look, was seeing him at least a little differently.


Outside, Eren followed Erwin through the campus, distantly aware that they were headed towards his building, but not really noticing the details. Because all of a sudden, Erwin was talking again.


“I have to apologise for Nile’s words towards you, Eren.” When Eren went to brush it off, Erwin turned to him with a sharp look. “I’m serious. The two of us have had a strained relationship for some time, which has only been added to now that we are both competing for tenure within the same department.”


And that… actually made a lot of sense. Eren thought back to the two interactions he’d had with the man, both of which Erwin had been there for. Dok had been forcibly polite, but clearly didn’t think much of Erwin himself. And judging by each of their respective presentations that night, it was clear that Erwin was probably the preferred candidate for the position. If anything, Dok’s comments towards both Eren and Erwin had most likely been fuelled by him feeling threatened.


“I know that is not a sound reason for his behaviour tonight,” Erwin was continuing, “but I’ve known Nile for several years now. I wouldn’t worry about him any further, he’s likely already put the conversation from his mind.”


That, Eren knew was a lie. For his expense, though, so he couldn’t begrudge Erwin. Still, there was another question that he was burning to ask.


So, Eren steeled his courage and spoke up. “If you don’t mind me asking, what was it that stopped the two of you from getting along in the first place?”


Erwin was silent for so long that Eren thought he’d crossed a line. Around them, the night air was silent, save for a few crickets chirping somewhere far off. However, just when Eren was about to speak up again, to apologise, Erwin finally replied.


“… Nile and I… were involved romantically, at one point. I had already taken on a teaching role at the university, and Nile joined the department just prior to our splitting up.”




Eren was distinctly aware that no normal student-teacher relationship would permit this topic of conversation.


“Okay,” Eren replied, not really knowing what to say. His thoughts were screaming in triumph, however, because fucking hell yes, he’d been right in thinking that Erwin was into men.


Despite that, the silence was unbearable for the last few minutes walking back to Eren’s building. Eren knew that he should say something, clearly, but whenever he tried to talk, his brain went straight to mush. What the hell was he meant to say to that, when his professor told him that he had dated another man? Had Erwin said it as indication that he wanted something similar from Eren? Or was he just overthinking it, as he always did?


By the time they made it to the front of Eren’s building, he was about to explode.


It was now or never.


“Eren,” Erwin began, the tone of his voice back to lecturer-mode. “I hope you enjoyed the experience of-”


Eren shut him up by stepping right into Erwin’s personal space and planting a firm but fast kiss on the man’s lips.


And he could feel the exact moment Erwin breathed in in surprise, his prior words dying on his lips. Eyes closed, Eren savoured the feel of Erwin against him, not deepening the kiss at all and instead going for just a chaste brush. Erwin’s lips were warm, despite the chilly night air, and Eren couldn’t help but moan, all the while feeling his heart in his throat.


Oh my god, Erwin wasn’t pulling away.


But he wasn’t kissing back either, so when Eren eventually pulled back, quite a few seconds later, he was just as anxious as ever. Even in the darkness, he could make out Erwin’s stunned expression, his eyes wide and mouth still frozen.


Silently, Eren waited on bated breath. He’d done all he could to garner Erwin’s favour, to try and read his mood. He’d made his move and now it was up to Erwin.


When Erwin did speak, the deep tone shook right through Eren.


“Would you like to accompany me to my house for a drink?”






This. Was. Happening.


But not in the way he’d envisioned.


Throughout the walk back from Eren’s building to Erwin’s car, and then the following twenty-minute ride to the man’s house, Eren’s mind had thought over every single way the night could play out. From Erwin taking him roughly against his front door, to more romantically making love to him in bed. And already, he knew that whatever Erwin wanted from him, Eren would be all in.


What he hadn’t expected, was for Erwin to actually start pouring literal fucking drinks for them.


Because what invitation to come in for drinks actually involved that, rather than being a poorly veiled excuse to fuck?

Back when Eren had thought that that was going to happen, he’d felt in control. He’d made the move on Erwin, and had been leading the way. Even when Erwin had invited him back, it’d been because Eren had brought him to a place where he wanted to.


But as Erwin stared at him from across his magnificent island bench, Eren didn’t feel in control.


It both excited and terrified him.


Eren could describe Erwin a lot of ways, but until now he’d never thought of the man as disarming. Because that’s what he was right now. Even just his eyes, before which had been filled with a composed kindness, were now stunningly pure, cutting right through Eren in a way he hadn’t been prepared for. Honestly, it scared him, just how intense Erwin was, in a way Eren hadn’t anticipated.


When Erwin handed Eren the glass of scotch, he finally spoke.


“You intrigue me, Eren,” he uttered and god, even his voice was different now, so much more throaty, deep and intimidating. “Ever since I helped you with your bags, you’ve been a subject of thought for me. You don’t think like other people do, and I believe that is what’s drawn me to you more than anything.”


Well, at least Erwin wasn’t denying that they’d never had a normal student-teacher relationship.


“However,” Erwin continued, “I also won’t deny that… I’m attracted to you. As I’m sure you’ve come to be aware of. I must tell you, that if this new level in our working relationship is to progress, then I want it to be with your express permission. I know you may think that you are ready for this, for me.”


“I am,” Eren cut in, needing Erwin to know.


Erwin continued as if he hadn’t spoken, and his next words rocked Eren to the core. “Know this, Eren. Whatever you’re thinking will come from tonight, it will be more complicated than you can imagine. Our interactions will be forever tainted, the two of us sworn to a level of secrecy that could very well destroy our lives.”


“… That’s not a no, right? I don’t care about all that, I’m ready for this.” was what Eren responded with, because Erwin wasn’t rejecting him.


Still, Erwin looked concerned. “That is not the only matter of issue, Eren. I’m… also not a gentle lover. This situation is unorthodox, I know, but I cannot deny my attraction to you. As I’ve said, you intrigue me, but I’m afraid you won’t be ready for the level if intimacy I require from you.”


Eren almost felt like he’d been punched, to hear those words. That Erwin doubted him, after all this time. God, Eren was ready for it, whatever Erwin wanted, however he wanted to treat him, Eren would take it and more.


He’d just have to show Erwin, then.


“I’m not some wide-eyed kid, Erwin. I don’t want it gentle,” was what he replied with in the end, and was pleased to see Erwin raise an eyebrow in surprise. Even the way he’d been able to manipulate the conversation, into a way where he held the power, was intoxicating, and Eren wanted to see more. “I’ve wanted you since the day I met you, and I’m not turning back now, sir.”


That last word had the desired effect, a second later Eren was abandoning his glass of scotch in favour of moving around the island bench. Erwin bent down to him with a bruising kiss, teeth biting hard into the flesh of his lower lip. God, this was amazing, and through all his fantasies, Eren hadn’t predicted that Erwin would be this rough. This dangerous.


By the time he pulled back, Eren was gasping, and knew that he must look dishevelled, even in the hired suit he’d worn to the symposium. A second later, Eren was kissing down Erwin’s neck, before unceremoniously dropping to his knees in the middle of the man’s kitchen.


“Eren,” Erwin spoke up sharply, all of a sudden. Jolting Eren out of his haze, the Erwin continued. “While I may desire matters to escalate with you in the future, tonight is not the night for that. I want you to think over what I’ve told you, before coming to me with a better-informed decision.”


Nup. Fuck no. Eren wasn’t having any of that, not after everything that’d happened that night.


“I’ll make it worthwhile, Eren. Please,” he all but begged, knowing he was coming off as desperate. Eren was raging hard, and could feel Erwin just as aroused. Because even as he was eyeing Erwin, Eren was running a hand over the man’s crotch and holy shit, he was big.


Even now, Eren could easily tell that he was bigger than Bertholdt.


But Eren was jolted out of his thoughts when Erwin came to stroke a hand over his cheek.


“Stand up, Eren.”




And now Eren was burning red with embarrassment, because that was a rejection. Eyes locked to the ground, he stumbled back up to his feet, silently cursing himself. Erwin didn’t want some slutty kid begging for his cock. The reason he liked Eren in the first place was because he thought he was more than that, someone that thought differently. And Eren had had to go and ruin that by being himself, just when he was so close.


“Sorry, Erwin, I-”


“You have nothing to be sorry for.” That made Eren look up, and when he did, Erwin was smiling kindly down at him. But he could also see the heat in those eyes, the same lust that had all but driven him to his knees seconds earlier.


All of a sudden, Erwin chuckled, before wiping his own hand tiredly across his face. “You have no idea how hard that was for me, just then. Truly, I wanted you to continue what you were doing more than anything. Ever since that day in the gym, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about your mouth.”


Eren blushed, grinning despite himself, because he’d known that Erwin had been affected by that day too. “Then why did you stop me?”


“Because I want to do this right,” Erwin replied. “I’ve had my fair share of no strings attached arrangements, and I don’t want this to be that again. I also meant it when I said I wasn’t gentle in the bedroom, and I really do want you to think over what that would mean of you.”


“O-okay,” Eren eventually acquiesced, knowing it was for the best, even if his cock was in rampant disagreement. A thought then came to him, and Eren wasn’t able to hold back his delirious laughter.


When Erwin cocked an eyebrow in confusion, Eren tried to answer from behind his snickering.


“After feeling, um, well… you know,” he tried, waving his hand in the general direction of Erwin’s waist. “It’s probably for the best that I get… p-prepared.”


And even if he was  feeling awkward saying that, it was worth it to see Erwin blushing as well, his carefully constructed composure shattered for once in his own embarrassment.




As Eren closed the door to his dorm behind him, he winced when it squeaked loudly. It was late, later than he’d been expecting to be back by, and although strictly speaking no one was going to discipline him, Eren really couldn’t be fucked talking to Jean. Eyes not accustomed to the dark, he couldn’t make out if Jean was asleep, but still tip-toed across the floor to his bunk.


After the moment of heat between them, and then Erwin’s dispelling of said moment, the conversation had gone back to the usual level of familiarity. They’d both laughed as they’d relived the look on Nile Dok’s face when Eren had ripped him a new one, and Eren had been sure to compliment Erwin again for his own amazing speech.


“You’ll get tenure for sure, you know,” Eren had cheered as they’d reclined on the couch, simply enjoying the level of intimacy he could now have with the man.


Because while Erwin had turned own Eren’s advanced that night, he’d welcomed the new contact between them, especially as they’d chatted and finished their drinks. They hadn’t cuddled or anything, it was probably too soon for that, but Eren had braved reaching over a couple of times, whether to stroke Erwin’s shoulder comfortingly or to pat his thigh.


Erwin didn’t kiss him again until it was time for Eren to leave, the two of them having stayed talking until well past midnight. He’d pressed Eren against the front door, kissing him not quite as rough as earlier in the kitchen, but still long and deep, his tongue just licking over Eren’s lips but staying shy of his mouth. He’d then told Eren to come to his offices after class next week, leaving him with that stupid fluttery feeling in his stomach as he’d left the man’s home.


He knew what he was doing was silly, but still. It was Erwin Smith.


It was only just as Eren had thought he’d gotten away with sneaking in that Jean’s light had flicked on, the man in question staring at his with a half-asleep gaze.


“Eren?” Jean croaked, clearly just having woken up, “what time is it?”


“Late, go back to bed,” Eren hissed quietly, annoyed that he hadn’t been more subtle.


But if anything, Jean was just waking up more. “I thought you said you were going to a conference with your hunky history professor. Why are you just getting back at… 1am?” He asked, just having checked his phone.


“I went out for drinks afterward.”


“With Professor Smith?


“No, with a friend I ran into. What are you, my mother?” Eren shot back defensively, cheeks flushed. He should just come clean. Jean wasn’t his mother, or anyone who had any ruling in Eren’s life. But he could just picture the disapproval in the other man’s eyes, the way he’d try to talk Eren out of the situation he’d gotten himself into with Erwin.


And even beyond that, Eren was worried that he would be talked out of it.


Because even on the way home from Erwin’s apartment, Eren was now grateful that Erwin had made him wait. Once the high of getting to kiss Erwin had worn off, Eren had been left thinking about what it would mean if he did go through with this. Not just in terms of sex, in which Eren would clearly be out of his comfort zone, not only bottoming, but clearly not being the one in control. But also in terms of his actual life, being forced to sneak around to see Erwin, always knowing that they could never be open about their relationship.


By telling Jean now, Eren would be betraying Erwin, not even a few hours after promising him that he could deal with it.


And Eren didn’t even know where they stood right now. Did Erwin intend for them to date, like date date? Because if so, Eren would have to make some decisions, weighing Erwin against Levi and Jean and even Reiner and Bertholdt.


Before tonight, Erwin had just been his unobtainable professor, even if they’d always had a friendlier rapport than usual. He’d been kind, if withdrawn, with a sense of mystery that had drawn Eren to him. But what Erwin wanted from him would be outside his comfort zone to say the least. He was used to having control, even if only a semblance of it at times. After an upbringing of others making decisions for him, it’d been so freeing to be himself, be free to make his own choices.


This was still a choice he’d make, the other, more irresponsible side of his conscious reminded him.


Jean wasn’t looking like he believed him, and while Eren felt guilty for breaking the guy’s trust, he stayed silent.


“Whatever. G’night.”


After that, Jean didn’t say anything else before turning off the light again, and definitely didn’t invite Eren over for a late-night wank like they usually did. Not that Eren would’ve been up for it. He felt drained, and as he pulled on a new pair of boxers for bed, he ignored the weight of guilt pressing down on him.








Shit. Eren jerked at the wheel, swerving Connie’s mini-van back onto the correct side of the road as Mikasa shook him back into reality.


“Shit,” he swore, his heart thumping. It was lucky that the road was empty, because he could’ve killed someone (and yes, Eren did see the irony in that statement, especially considering what was rolling around in the back of the van).


“Sorry, sorry,” he apologised, feeling Mikasa’s eyes burning into his head.


“Do you want me to take the wheel?” Mikasa asked after a moment. “I know you’re a better driver than me, but-”


“I’m fine! I just… got distracted. Thinking about Bertholdt.”


“… We had to do it, Eren. You know that, right?”


He did. God, he knew that they’d had to, but it still made him sick to his stomach to think about it. Because in all of this, with everything that was fucked up between him and Levi and Erwin and Reiner and everyone else, Bertholdt had been innocent.


“We just ruined his life, ‘Kasa,” Eren groaned a few minutes later, after he’d turned onto the main road.


They’d passed Trost Uni a few miles ago, the both of their hearts thumping as they’d driven past their unsuspecting friends.

Mikasa was silent initially, and it was only as Eren continued to drive, his eyes locked on the road, that she finally spoke up.


“Pull over.”


Sighing, Eren knew better than to argue with her. He waited until they came to a quiet and relatively deserted side-street, and turned the off the highway to park. Swallowing thickly, he stayed silent until he’d brought the van to a complete halt.


“Look at me.”


Eren did just that.


And god, Mikasa looked just as shattered as he probably did, and all at once Eren felt like shit for assuming she’d been okay with what they’d done.


“I hate myself just as much for that, Eren,” Mikasa eventually said, her usually resolute voice now shaky. “Bertholdt… didn’t deserve that, but I stand by it, because at the end of the day it was him or us. And I pick us every time.”


“I know.” Mikasa’s hand came up to his cheek, and Eren leant into the touch, comforted by the familiarity of it. “I just-” he paused, choking on his words. “We were doing so well.”


“We were,” Mikasa whispered back in agreement.


And Eren knew something still hadn’t clicked for him, because if it had he’d be heartbroken at what he’d done tonight, not just with Bertholdt but with the fact that he’d just killed someone.


Then again, he’d known for ages that something was fucked up with him, preferring to ignore it than to deal with it.


The hand on his cheek moved to his chin, and Eren let Mikasa bring his eyes back up to hers.


“We’re going to be okay,” she stated strongly, her words instantly steeling something in Eren. “We’re going to be okay, Eren. We just need to get out of the city, so that we can dump the body. Then we just act normal, go back to the fundraiser. Tomorrow, you go to your disciplinary hearing and we get away with this, you hear me?”


Fuck. Eren hadn’t even thought about tomorrow. How could he even think about facing the board in the state he was in?


Still, Eren knew they wouldn’t be able to get away with this by themselves, not even with Levi’s help. God, even if Mikasa had only been joking about him, she’d been so goddamn right.


Right now, Eren needed more than Levi. He needed family.


So, he swallowed, and tried to look sheepish as he spoke to Mikasa.


“… Is now a good time to tell you that Armin knows about everything up until tonight?”

Chapter Text

Then. Three and a Half Weeks Ago


“Holy shit! I didn’t take you for a coffee snob!”


From across the small table, Erwin did his best to look nonchalant at Eren’s words, but Eren could see him grumbling as he blew on his steaming, and ridiculously complex, coffee. Still, Eren could see amusement in his eyes, no doubt mirrored in his own, as he grinned and took a sip of his own drink, which in comparison seemed like Instant Coffee.


“I wouldn’t go that far, Eren,” Erwin protested, but there was a smile on his face. “I just see the value in making sure I pay for something worthwhile.”


“I dunno, I could buy about ten day’s worth of actual coffee with the money you spent on your triple, half-sweet, non-fat caramel-”


“That’s because you drink dirt water.”


That made Eren shut up, because Erwin had just bantered back.


“… You’re cranky before you get your morning macchiato, aren’t you?”


Erwin laughed, true and loudly, and Eren’s heart soared. It was these moments, the interactions like this, that he craved. Because ever since that fateful night at Erwin’s apartment, Eren had been able to see another side to the man that he’d never thought existed.


And honestly, he kinda loved that side of Erwin.


Eren caught himself then, because maybe that was going a bit far. No, whatever he felt for Erwin wasn’t quite love, not yet. Infatuation though, for sure, and that had only grown over the past few days, since that Friday night.


Because even though Erwin had told Eren to come to his office on the Monday, Eren had ended up going to dinner with him on Saturday night. And then Sunday night.


Neither had been a massive affair, the two of them choosing practical over romantic for while they were in Trost where they could be recognised. Both times had been somewhere non-descript and relatively basic. But Eren hadn’t really cared about the greasy burger Erwin had bought him, not when he was really there to just spend time with him.


One of the important topics that Erwin had ended up bringing up on the Saturday night was the exclusivity of their relationship, and one that Eren had been surprised to hear his point of view on.


“Until we’ve explored this further between us, I have no problem with you wanting to be with other people, Eren.”


“Wait, what?” Eren had all but blurted out in reply. “D-do you really mean that?”


Again, Erwin had just nodded. “I don’t want you to feel pressured or forced into this. I know that, compared to many others, I won’t be able to offer you the same degree of… freedom. All I ask is that you’re honest with me about your feelings, and won’t hide it if you have second thoughts.”


It’d almost seemed too good to be true, although after thinking about it, Eren supposed that many potential relationships started that way, with both ends testing the waters for a period of time, before committing full-on.


By the Sunday night, that notion had brought up another question, and after finishing their food, Eren had felt brave enough to ask it.


“Are you… seeing anyone else as well? It’s okay if you are!” Eren had hurriedly added when Erwin had looked at him in surprise. “I’m just curious.”


Eren hadn’t known what he’d been expecting, but Erwin had shrugged nonetheless. “I’m not seeing anyone else at the moment, no. I do have an existing… arrangement with someone, however. I haven’t seen them for a few weeks now though, and I imagine I won’t going forward.”


“… It’s not Professor Dok again, is it?”


That had made Erwin laugh, and they’d settled back into their easy banter, no more talk on other relationships coming after that.


Still, Eren hadn’t kissed Erwin since the Friday night.


It was now Tuesday morning, marking the fifth day in a row he’d seen Erwin, including going to his office after the Monday lecture. But this was the first time he’d seen Erwin in the morning, where he still had bleary eyes and slightly tousled hair. It was adorable, and Eren was beyond tempted to lean across and ruffle Erwin’s hair even further, because he’d clearly been too tired this morning to style it properly.


They’d decided to meet at one of the several coffee shops on campus, given that it wasn’t out of the ordinary at all for a lecturer to meet with a student in that regard. Indeed, Eren’s paper on Shiganshina was laid in front of him, giving the impression to any onlooker that they were discussing his work before an early morning class. And Eren did want Erwin to look over it, if only for a little while, because he was almost finished and wanted Erwin to see something he was so proud of.


Still, Eren couldn’t help the nervous jitters that ran through him as two girls his age walked past, not glancing their way in the slightest. God, if only they knew that they’d just come across a student on a date with his professor.


And yeah, there was still a chance that Eren was caught up in that aspect of their relationship.


“Sometimes I wonder why I agreed to running lectures this early in the morning,” Erwin was grumbling, and Eren couldn’t believe that he’d never even gotten a hint of this side of him before.


“Are you like this for our Monday lectures as well?”


Erwin just levelled him with a look, making Eren scoff. Clearly, Erwin was a master of putting up a façade that no one could see through, because he’d always seemed so put together every time, even when Eren himself had wanted to die from arriving to the lectures hungover.


“What have you got on after that?” Eren asked, a bit later.


“Just more classes,” Erwin replied, taking another sip of his snobby abomination. “I’m meeting Dean Reiss over lunch, though, so at least that gives me reason to not run home to bed.”


“Oh cool,” Eren answered. “I’m friends with his daughter, Historia.”


At that, Erwin did raise an eyebrow. “I’ve met her once, at a university dinner. She seems like a very nice young girl.”


They continued to chat away, until Eren finally garnered the courage to ask what he’d been wanting to ask all morning.


“So,” he brought up, almost 30 minutes into their coffee date. “I was thinking we could go out for dinner this Friday. Somewhere nice, though… maybe get a drink after?”


To Eren’s surprise, however, Erwin didn’t agree straight away, and doubt seeped through him once again. But before he could take back his offer, or embarrass himself in some other way, Erwin was speaking up.


“I’m afraid I’ll be travelling this weekend, Eren. I’m going home to visit my father.”


Honestly, that was better than the rejection Eren had been worried about. Because while it was still a no, it was for the right reason, and Eren let out a sigh of relief.


“N-no worries at all. I didn’t realise that you weren’t from Trost.”


“Quite. I’m from Karanes, which isn’t too far from Trost. It was still quite the decision to come teach here, however. My father is getting older, so I travel home to check in on him regularly.”


“That’s… really good of you, Erwin.”


“But I was meaning to ask you,” Erwin continued, moving the topic away from his father. “By the following weekend, you’ll have handed in your paper. I was hoping, that if you weren’t too busy studying for exams, that you would like to accompany me to a property I own down on the coast.”


And Eren tried not to let his eagerness show too much, even as he was already nodding his head and agreeing quickly. Because that sounded amazing, and he was already getting excited, just thinking about how he and Erwin would have an entire house to themselves.


“I thought you’d be excited,” Erwin said with a knowing grin.


Eren didn’t even bother to hide his own smile, shamelessly beaming back. “Can’t wait! Still, I’m going to miss you this weekend.”


“Trust me, Eren. You’ll be having more fun than I will. Go out with your friends, have a good time, and I’ll be back next week.”


The “get with a guy” went unsaid between them, but Eren could tell Erwin was trying to let him know that it was okay if he did.


God, that man was perfect.


“Now,” Erwin said, all of a sudden, “about your paper…”




The next day, when Hanji bounded to the front of the GSA room to start the Tuesday evening meeting, Eren could tell that something was up.


“Good news everyone,” she shouted from the makeshift speaking platform, which really was just a small wooden box to stand on.


Eren was sitting with Mikasa, as well as Connie and Sasha. Fortunately, Connie hadn’t thought anything of Eren ditching him the previous day, more than used to Eren seeing Erwin during office hours. Which, now that Eren thought about it, showed that it was just false paranoia on his part, the fear that somehow, everyone would be able to tell right away that he was romantically involved with his professor.


Eren still couldn’t help thinking back to that morning, and the amazing time he’d had with Erwin over coffee. The man had been as confident as ever, not faltering in the slightest as he’d asked Eren to his beach house with him. And while a part of Eren had to wonder if Erwin had ever been involved with a student before him, he also was glad that at least one of them seemed to know what they were doing.


Jean was there as well, but had chosen to sit with Historia, Ymir and Marco. It was nothing out of the ordinary, so much so that no one seemed to bat an eye, but Eren could tell that Jean was still a little annoyed with him. It was stupid, so fucking stupid that Jean was holding a grudge, all because he’d been shifty about his time with Erwin. He wasn’t ignoring Eren altogether, and they’d had multiple conversations over the weekend, but Eren could tell there was tension there, at least from Jean’s end.


But if Jean wanted to be a stubborn prick, then Eren wasn’t going to stop him, and he certainly wasn’t going to apologise.


And yeah, Eren could see that that was now him being the stubborn one, and remembered how Mikasa had commented on how similar they were.


“Thanks to some expert negotiations on our part,” Hanji was saying from the front of the room, “the board has decided to give us the full go-ahead for hosting the fundraiser on campus this year, along with serving drinks until later in the night!”


To say Eren was surprised by that reveal was an understatement. Because even as the others around him clapped at the victory over Fritz and the board, Eren thought about how seemingly unmanageable a task it’d been in the first place. Hanji had described the situation to him earlier as near impossible to get the go-ahead for, to the point where she’d even asked everyone to start brainstorming different locations to host the event at.


Having the fundraiser off campus would’ve been a massive blow to how much they’d be able to raise, but with the so-called pipedream now a reality, those problems were over.


“That means we can get absolutely hammered!” Connie cheered beside him.


But Mikasa also looked deep in thought, and when Eren glanced at her, she returned his questioning gaze.


It all seemed a little too easy.


Later, as the formalities of the meeting finished, Mikasa approached him privately.


“Is everything okay between you and Jean?”


God, she had always been so perceptive. Eren glanced Jean’s way, to where the man was talking with Marco. Despite the annoyance he was feeling towards his obstinate horse of a roommate, Eren couldn’t help but be a little glad that the two of them had seemed to form a friendship of sorts. Because Eren had ended things between him and Marco so that Jean wouldn’t get too jealous, and it was becoming clearer with every passing day that the idiot was crushing heavily on Marco.


“Yeah,” he sighed back to his sister, but didn’t bother to hide his displeasure. “Just roommate stuff, y’know?”


Mikasa looked doubtful, but nodded. He knew that she was still having trouble with her roommate, Mina, and much preferred him, Annie and many others for day-to-day company.


“It’s good that Armin’s almost done with his exams,” Mikasa mentioned later, as she began packing up her things to leave. Eren had decided to hang around a bit, mostly because he was bored and didn’t have anything to do that night, unlike Mikasa who was going to the gym with Annie.


“I know, this week’s the last ones for him right?” Eren replied. It’d been too long since he’d last spoken to Armin, and he felt guilty for it. Mikasa probably kept in touch more than him at the moment, but Eren had been pretty busy as of late.


“Yeah. You should call him this weekend. He misses you.”


And that just made him feel even worse.


But Mikasa was quick to tell him that Armin wasn’t upset or angry, making him feel a bit better. And they’d hung out for a while afterward, lifting Eren’s mood to the point that after Mikasa had left the GSA room, Eren happily returned Reiner’s enthusiastic hug when he and Bertholdt arrived late.


“We were just talking about you,” Bertholdt said afterwards, when Eren moved on to hug him in greeting. Eren had seen Bertholdt since their night together,  but this was the first time he’d seen Reiner after his week off. And it was evident that he was back to his usual, happy self, judging by the way Reiner was circling the room and saying hello to everyone in a very similar way to how he’d greeted Eren.


“What about?” Eren asked back, joining Bertholdt in staring fondly at Reiner’s infectious mood.


He turned back to Bertholdt, however, when the man replied. “Nothing serious, don’t worry. I’m working tonight and apparently Reiner can’t be bothered going to the gym, so he wanted to see if you were around to study with him.”


Bertholdt made no attempt to hide the thinly veiled request, and once again Eren was left stumped as to how their friendship/relationship actually worked. And he was about to decline, he honestly was, but then he thought about what Erwin had said, and how he was already in danger of falling hard for the man.


Maybe what he needed was some time not thinking about Erwin.


So, by the time Reiner made his way back to them, Eren was already brimming with excitement.


“So,” Reiner grinned broadly at him. “You in?”




“Mmmm. Fuck, Eren. Just like that baby.”


Underneath Eren, Reiner’s moans sounded delicious, and Eren couldn’t resist leaning in to capture his lips in yet another kiss. Reiner’s lips were plump and bright red against his own, no doubt due to the near endless tonguing they’d been engaged in. Eren was clutching Reiner’s pecs like they were tits, massaging them and pinching the nipples as he sat on Reiner’s lap.


To be fair, Eren and Reiner had actually studied for a bit. Sure, they could’ve applied themselves for a bit longer, maybe, but Eren was still calling it a win.


Most of their clothes were strewn on the floor of Reiner and Bertholdt’s joint bedroom, with the two of them only wearing their underwear. Still, Eren was pretty sure that they wouldn’t last much longer either, and as he felt Reiner’s dick press against his through the layers of cotton, he reached down to palm them both.


There’d been no discussion of what Bertholdt had told him, about Reiner being bipolar. Sure, Eren was positive that Reiner knew that he knew, but he reckoned it was something that was better left aside. If the moment ever arose, then Eren would be there to talk about it with him. But right now? He could tell that Reiner didn’t want support, or a heart-to-heart.


Reiner wanted a fuck.


Eren’s assumption was proven right when they separated a few moments later. Reiner flipped them over, so that he was on top of Eren, and then they were both awkwardly shuffling to remove their last remaining garments. Now totally naked, Reiner wasted no time in straddling Eren, so that he could wrap a hand around both their cocks. Leaning down, Reiner kissed Eren deeply, their teeth gnashing against one another and a string of saliva connecting them. Remembering what Reiner had been like last time with Bertholdt, Eren opened his mouth and let Reiner spit on his tongue, before they were kissing again and grinding on one another.


When Reiner finally pulled back, he looked ravishingly hot. “Want you to fuck me, baby.”


Eren nodded furiously, not caring how desperate he looked. The only thing more perfect than Reiner’s incredible muscles was how much of a bottom he was, and Eren lived for the man breaking all sorts of stereotypes regarding body types and positions. And just the thought of getting to be inside Reiner again, like that amazing night they’d had with Bertholdt last week, had Eren reeling and whining when Reiner rolled his hips again.


Clearly not afraid to go for what he wanted, Reiner shifted their positions slightly, so that now instead of their dicks rubbing together, Eren’s cock was sliding through the cleft of Reiner’s ass cheeks. Before Eren had a chance to express how on board he was with this change of position, Reiner was bitting his bottom lip, before filthily licking into Eren’s open mouth, flicking his tongue over Eren’s and moaning against his lips.


Eren grunted into the kiss, feeling Reiner drag his ass over his hard cock. He could feel the slick of lube between them, signalling that Reiner had come prepared, knowing what was going to happen. Even that made the whole thing hotter, the image Eren had of Reiner fingering himself open, cleaning and slicking up his hole, all in preparation of Eren being the one to plough it.


Moments later, when Reiner pulled back from the kiss, there was a devious smirk on his lips and fucking hell, this guy was going to be the death of Eren.


“Can’t wait to feel you inside me,” Reiner crooned, definitely aware of the effect he was having.


Instead of replying, Eren pulled him back down for another kiss, hands coming down to rest on Reiner’s muscular ass. Reiner grinded down harder against him, and for a second Eren thought he would slip right into the man. Shifting his angle slightly so that wouldn’t happen, Eren grinned when Reiner went back to sliding his taint and ass cheeks back and forth on Eren’s cock.


It was perfect like that for a few more moments, before again Reiner was pushing down instead of horizontally. The head of Eren’s cock pressed against his hole, and when it began to slip in, Eren flinched and pulled back.


“Shi- let me just grab a-”


“You should fuck me raw.”


And that made Eren freeze. Because when he looked up to see the totally honest and insistent expression in Reiner’s face, he realised that the last few ‘near slips’ had definitely been more than deliberate.




Before he could finish, Reiner was biting at his jaw, licking over his chin before sloppily kissing up to his ear. Despite himself, Eren let out a long groan when Reiner swirled his tongue over the shell, dipping in before nipping the cartilage.


“We can’t,” he protested, as he felt a hand repositioning his cock.


Fuck, even now Eren sounded so half-hearted it was pathetic.


“It feels so good, baby.” Reiner’s voice was practically vibrating in his ear, the huskiness reverberating through him, to the point where Eren was pretty sure his cock was going to explode. “Wanna feel you against me, inside me. It’d feel amazing, Eren.”


Shiiiiit, Eren was so goddamn tempted. Reiner was irresistible on the most mundane of days, but right now with his naked, hulking body pressing Eren into the mattress? He felt like putty in Reiner’s hands. And god, he wanted to fuck Reiner raw so badly. He couldn’t help but imagine how different it would feel, without the rubber of the condom between them, Reiner’s inside walls hugging his co-


No, Eren needed to get a fucking grip. Even if he hadn’t grown up as the son of a doctor, Eren knew the dangers involved with unsafe sex. He needed to shove aside the immediate temptation and think about the future, and how doing this could impact his life if he wasn’t careful. Sure, it was likely that Reiner was clean, but even if he was, there was still the fact of the talk he’d had with Bertholdt.


Reiner just gets so caught up in the moment, and when he’s at his peak, he thinks he’s untouchable.”


Bertholdt’s words echoed in his mind. He’d trusted Eren, enough to let him be intimate with Reiner and tell him about his condition.


But then again, even if Reiner was riding a period of mania, he was most clean, wasn’t he? If Reiner was clean and so was Bertholdt, then didn’t that mean that Eren would be fine?


Reiner’s massive body gyrated against Eren’s, the legs straddling him tensing tightly. In his moment of distraction, Eren had almost missed Reiner moving his head down, until he was kissing and sucking at the flesh of Eren’s neck. No doubt there would be a serious bruise there tomorrow, but right now Eren had bigger problems on his mind.


Like how he was gradually convincing himself that it would be alright if he did this.


Because for every moment he thought about Bertholdt, or the big picture beyond this moment, it was drowned out by the feel of Reiner on him, whispering sweet nothings in his ear and sliding his ass over him. Even compared to the other men in Eren’s life right now, Erwin, Levi, Marco and the others, Reiner was a fucking knockout. The absolutely shredded football jock Eren had drooled over throughout high school, right there begging to be fucked. It was every fantasy he’d ever had come true, and as much as he didn’t want to admit it, Eren was terrified that Reiner would have a moment of clarity at any moment and come to his senses.


No, Reiner wasn’t only with him because of his euphoric episodes, right?


“Bertholdt doesn’t care,” Reiner crooned again, when Eren stayed silent for too long. “Baby, I want you to come inside me, want you to paint me.”


“I want to,” Eren heard himself reply, before he could stop himself. “I want to, so fucking badly. But I…”


“But what?” When Eren couldn’t formulate a response, Reiner looked at him with a breathless grin. “Exactly. We’re young and crazy, baby. I’m clean. You’re clean. Nothing’s going to happen, except I’m going to ride the shit out of you.”


How Eren was not already cumming, he truly didn’t know.


It didn’t take long after that for Eren to relent, and then Reiner was reaching behind himself again, taking Eren’s cock in his hand and directing it towards his hole. And shit, even just the head slowly stretching Reiner open was enough to make Eren moan loud and needy. He didn’t know how much lube Reiner had used to prepare himself, but he eventually slipped in without too much resistance. Although as Reiner sank down to the base of his dick, Eren did see a slight grimace cross his face.


“Do you need more lube?”


“Nah,” Reiner shot back immediately, staying impaled on Eren as he lent to the side. And as he stretched to reach for something next to the bed, Eren raked his eyes over Reiner’s body. His fucking muscles had muscles, and Eren couldn’t stop dragging his fingers over the striations.


When Reiner came back to being upright, he had a small, glass bottle in his hand. Before Eren could ask what it was, Reiner was unscrewing the lid, and blocking on of his nostrils before leaning in to inhale the contents of the bottle with the other. It was a long drag, and when Reiner pulled away his eyes looked glassy, before an easy smile graced his features.


“What’s that?” Eren asked.


Reiner gestured to the bottle. “This? Just some Amyl to help with the stretch.” When Eren remained confused, Reiner’s eyes widened. “You never had this before? Fucking hell, come here. You’ll love it.”


And again, Eren felt himself being swept up in the moment, to the point that a second later Reiner was cradling the back of his head as he leant forwards on his back. Eren followed Reiner’s lead until he was inhaling what he assumed to be the vapours of whatever was in the bottle, and what was this even meant-




Eren giggled, fucking giggled, because holy shit he felt so fucking fuzzy. And before he could even begin to express his complete euphoria to anyone who would listen, Reiner was kissing him roughly, grinding down on his lap at the same time. The combined sensations sent sparks dancing across Eren’s vision, small lightning bolts fuzzing through him as Reiner quickly built up a rhythm.


“Oh my god,” Eren breathed, because wow.


Reiner just laughed, looking as elated as Eren felt, and even as he felt the miniscule high begin to wane, the pleasure of Reiner riding him was right there. The man’s enormous shoulders flexed as he leant back to get a better position, his cock bouncing madly as he humped Eren further down into the bed.


Throughout all the added sensations, Eren had almost forgotten that he was fucking Reiner bareback, but he could feel the slide of skin on skin as Reiner rode him. The heat of his insides was intense, the squeeze of his hole just the right level of tightness. And now that he was inside and moving, the lube was more than enough to make it feel good. Above him Reiner took another sniff of the bottle (Amyl, Eren reminded himself), and even as he held it out to Eren afterward, which he gladly accepted, Eren could feel Reiner’s clenching hole relax slightly around him.


Which was how Eren ended up getting his brains rode out, constantly sniffing at whatever the hell Reiner had cooked up and loving every second of it.




It was amazing, Eren thought later, how quickly the regret sank in after sex.


It wasn’t the fact that he’d had sex with Reiner, of course, but rather the fact that he’d let himself be coerced into something he’d been so against only moments before. He was annoyed at Reiner, if only a little bit, but mostly at himself. Because Eren had thought that his resolve was stronger than this, and whenever he’d imagined himself in a moment of temptation like that before, he’d always said no.


But Eren hadn’t said no. He’d said a very clear yes, judging by the way he’d later taken Reiner from behind, very enthusiastically.


The warm water from Reiner and Bertholdt’s shower cascaded over his body, and as Eren cleaned the remaining lube off his cock, he couldn’t help but kick himself again. The instant regret had been burning at him ever since he’d withdrawn from Reiner, and now it had morphed into a surge of guilt. Because while he was still pretty sure he was still clean, it was the sheer taboo of what he’d done, what had been ingrained into his sense of right and wrong for as long as he’d been into guys, that was making him feel like shit.


Not to mention Bertholdt. Fucking hell, how was he going to tell Bertholdt what he’d done. In the moment, when Eren had been hard and ready to fuck, the problem had seemed so small. But now? He could see in full clarity what he’d done, how he’d betrayed Bertholdt’s trust after the man had exposed himself to Eren.


Eren was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t even register Reiner entering the bathroom until he was opening the shower curtain, and sliding in next to Eren. The shower wasn’t overly big, and with Reiner’s absolutely massive frame there alongside him, it made the fit very tight.


“You rushed out pretty quickly,” Reiner said finally and yeah, that was definitely an erect cock poking at Eren’s thigh. God, his libido was insane.


It was true, though. After Reiner and Eren had switched to fuck doggy-style, it hadn’t them both long to cum. And as the post-sex regret of what he’d done set in, Eren had all but ran out of the room, barely glancing at his cum leaking out of Reiner’s hole on his way out. Reiner. To his credit, had clearly waited intentionally before following him, giving Eren time to think things over.


“Was kinda hoping you’d eat me out like last time.”


“Is sex all you ever think about?”


“When I’m horny? Yeah, kinda.”


And for some reason, Eren laughed at that. Because despite being gay and struggling with his mental condition, Reiner to his core was just another sex-chasing football jock. It was oddly charming, and despite everything, Eren felt a little more settled at the man’s open-book demeanour.


When Reiner wrapped his hands around Eren’s body from behind and began to kiss at his shoulders, Eren finally spoke up.


“I shouldn’t have fucked you raw.”


His voice was quiet, and for a second Eren worried that Reiner hadn’t heard him over the spray of the shower. But then Reiner was halting his progress from behind, despite the fact that his erection was still pressing against Eren.


“I meant it when I said I was clean,” Reiner replied. “Bertl is too.”


“I know, but it’s more than that.” Eren shot back, finally finding his words. “You’re my friend, and I trust you. But I caved so fucking quickly that it worried me what would happen if I was ever in that situation with a random guy. I thought I’d be better at standing my ground, but I’m clearly not.”


“But you know I’m clean.”


Fuck, Eren knew Reiner wouldn’t get it. He knew he sounded whiny, at least compared to the other man, but it’d gotten to him. Still, he decided to let it go, knowing Reiner likely would never understand what he was talking about. When Reiner went back to stroking his body, Eren sighed heavily, before leaning back against the larger frame.


“What are we going to say to Bertholdt?” He asked eventually.


By now, Reiner’s hands had made their way to his cock, and despite himself, Eren could feel himself beginning to get hard again. He knew it was unhealthy, to be have his body make decisions for him, when he was clearly struggling with other matters, but Reiner, like many other guys, had that affect on him. Back in high school, when Eren had gotten into trouble as a result of fooling around with Thomas, Armin had told him that he thought too much with his dick.


Armin was probably right.


“Just don’t say anything,” Reiner replied, as if it was obvious, all the while stroking Eren’s cock from his spot behind him. “You’re making this into some massive drama, Eren. He knows we’re fucking, so let’s just leave it at that. Anything more is just adding shit to the fire that does no good.”


And even as Eren breathed a small sigh of relief, the pit in his stomach deepened. Because of course Reiner wouldn’t want to tell Bertholdt, because fucking raw was clearly something they weren’t meant to have been doing. Eren remembered the look of complete trust of Bertholdt’s face, that last time they’d all been together, when he’d said that only he and Reiner went bareback.


Eren and Reiner had tarnished that. And Reiner was right, in that telling Bertholdt would do them no good at all.


“Fine,” Eren groaned back, unable to supress the whimper in his voice as Reiner’s finger slid over the slit of his cock.


Even though the matter wasn’t totally resolved, Eren felt a small weight lift off him, and as he turned around to face Reiner, he let the man kiss him. It was a filthy kiss, all teeth and tongue and nothing romantic at all, and as the water glistened off Reiner’s skin and wet his hair, Eren saw him visibly swallow.


“You know,” Reiner began, a small but devious smirk on his face, “I’d really appreciate a hand cleaning your cum out of me.”


That got another small laugh from Eren, and as knelt on the floor of the shower and let Reiner turn around to shove his ass into his face, Eren already felt his bad mood begin to lift.


Much later, after Eren had licked the last of his seed out of Reiner and had sucked him off in the shower, he asked the other man a question that had been burning at him.


“What actually was that stuff we sniffed, Reiner?”


Reiner looked up from where he was towelling himself off. “You mean poppers? It’s a just a cheap party drug, amyl nitrate. Give you a headrush and makes your hole relax a bit. Really fucking good for sex.”


And yeah, that much was an understatement. Thinking of Erwin and the size of his cock, Eren smiled, because he could probably use some of that stuff.






Armin was nowhere to be seen by the time they got back to campus.


It was unfortunate that they had to double back towards Trost Uni, and seemed overly risky to Eren, but it couldn’t be helped. Armin didn’t have a car with him, and there was no way in hell that they were going to rope someone else into all this shit to drive him. Still, Eren couldn’t help but worry as he parked the van in a small side street near the edge of campus.


Next to him, Mikasa shivered in the cold. “Can you see him?”


Eren shook his head, also shaking despite the fact that he was rugged up in his sister’s coat. It was necessary, given the bloodstains on his shirt.


“He told me he’d meet us here,” Eren replied, looking in the side-mirrors to see if Armin was approaching from behind. But there was no one around the quiet road, although they could hear the excitement going on from the fundraiser nearby.


“Maybe he got lost?” Mikasa offered.


If that was it, then Eren was going to smack Armin. Because they couldn’t afford that, not now.


Sighing, he steeled his nerves. “Stay with the car. I’m going to go look around campus.”


“What? Eren, you can’t-”


“I’ll be okay, the blood’s covered up,” he cut in, trying not to think about whose blood he was covered in. If he went down that road, Eren knew it’d just end with him curled up in a ball and crying, because he needed to compartmentalise (but fuck, he’d just killed-


Forcing his mind away from it again, Eren was already undoing his seatbelt and opening the door. Sure, Mikasa might’ve been the better option to go look for him, but Eren just felt that it had to be him. Besides, if he was seen, at least that would help with an alibi later on.


God, they hadn’t even thought about an alibi yet.


Hugging the jacket tighter around him to keep warm, Eren shot Mikasa one last comforting (or so he hoped) smile.


“I’ve got this.”


Fuck, he hoped he did, at least. Mikasa just nodded, even if she looked displeased, and then Eren was off. Quietly shutting the door behind him, he began to stride in the direction of where he could hear the fundraiser operating in full-force.


With Mikasa now behind him, Eren allowed himself to let out a shaky breath. How the hell was he supposed to act natural around anyone he came across. Surely he’d just end up giving it all away the moment he opened his mouth. He thought back to what had happened last time, with Mikasa’s kidnappers seven years ago, but even that wasn’t much help. The only people around then had been him and Mikasa, and then Zeke later on, but even then Zeke had known from the start what Eren had done.


Despite it all, Eren wished Zeke was here now. He was a fucking prick, but at least he helped to keep Eren’s head on straight.


Eren turned the corner of the street, so that one of the campus buildings was now in view in front of him. At least he was getting closer, even if he was still shitting bricks.




He heard the voice before he saw it’s owner, letting him breath a sigh of relief because he’d recognise that guy anywhere.


Of course, that moment of respite had to be undercut when he saw who was with Armin.


As he shuffled out to under a streetlight, Eren could finally see why Armin had been delayed, because that was a very drunk Sasha slumped against his shoulder. Armin was almost completely buckled under her, which given that he was built like a twig, made sense.


And then Eren’s brain caught up to what he was seeing, and he began to panic because why the fuck was Sasha here?


“A little help?” Armin grunted, his face strained.


Eren did help, moving to grab the other of Sasha’s arms and hoisting it over his shoulders. Her eyes were open, but Eren could see that she wasn’t coherent, so he hissed across her to Armin.


“Why the fuck is she here? I told you to come alone!”


“What was I meant to do with her?” Armin fired back, but still looked sheepish.


“Give her to someone else?”


“Who?” Armin hissed. “Connie left before you did and hasn’t come back. I couldn’t find Marco, and Jean never turned up in the first place! Hanji was venting to me of all people, and was too busy to look after her. Eren, where the fuck is everyone?!”


Shit, if only it were that simple.


When Eren didn’t reply, Armin continued. “It doesn’t matter anyway. Sasha’s drunk enough that she’s not gonna hear or remember anything, so you can just tell me-”


“We’re past the talking stage now, Armin. Something happened. Something bad.”


And Eren’s face must’ve showed how serious the situation was, because Armin went silent, eyes wide as he stared at Eren.


“… You told him, didn’t you?”


Eren didn’t answer. Because Armin had begged him not to do it, and he’d gone and spilled the beans anyway. And look where he was now.


“Eren,” Armin whispered, his voice shaky, “what did Levi do?”