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I still love you…

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The tension was thick, anyone who walked past the couple could probably sense it. Jungkook and Ashley were standing across from each other, brows furrowed faces flushed with what seemed to be exasperation and maybe a slight tinge of anger. It wasn’t the first time this was happening, they had already had this conversation before. But here they were again, this time, however, they had an audience, far from the comfort of their apartment. Everything had happened so fast, Ashley was tired—drained even— of her fiancé's bursts of jealousy every so often.

“I- this is my job Jungkook! I’m not going to turn down this opportunity. I’m not having this conversation with you, not when you’re like this” she huffed, “I’m going home, I can’t deal with this right now.”, with that she turns away from the man she’d fallen in love with four years prior, and walked towards the door right past the worried stares of his friends. 

The cool autumn air felt great against her skin, she closed her eyes for a moment breathing in and out steadily. A cold breeze pulled her from her thoughts and she shivered a little, great, she thought, I forgot my hoody back there. She sighed, too stubborn to go back in and fetch her much needed hoody, and started making her way home. Reminiscing of all the goods times she’d had over the past four years, reminding herself that this fight was just a storm passing by and that things would eventually go back to normal, they always do. They’d been stressed, both her and her lover, it turned out that planning a wedding was hard, even more so with their hectic schedules. Jungkook was rarely ever home, often touring the world with his bandmates, and when he was home he kept running back and forth between interviews, tv shows, and performances. She didn’t mind much, it had been that way before they’d even gotten together; and Ashley wasn’t doing much better anyway, she’d recently opened up her dance studio and had been busy making sure everything was perfect and before that she’d been modeling and traveling around the world attending various runway shows and had also recently been cast for the main role in an upcoming movie. She felt a pang of disappointment when she remembered the reason behind all the fighting, the movie. It was a huge opportunity for her, probably the biggest of her career so far. She’d been so excited about the good news that she had immediately called her fiancé to share her excitement.

It’s not that Jungkook wasn’t ecstatic for his lover—on the contrary, he had even come home with a bottle of champagne and a bouquet of her favorite flowers to celebrate the news, they’d drank and laughed and exchanged a couple of open-mouthed kisses before passing out on the couch in each other's warm embrace. No, Jungkook was well aware of how big of an opportunity it was for his wife-to-be, but he couldn’t help but feel discomfort at the idea of Ashley kissing another man, even if it was just an act. He knew he was acting selfishly when he asked her to reconsider. Of course, this didn’t go too well, and he knew it wasn’t fair, and that Ashley had the right to be mad at him. He realized only after she had stepped out of the room after the dance practice that he had possibly fucked up.

Not long after Ashley had left, and being told off by his friends for “being a real dick”, he left the studio. He knew this wasn’t something that couldn’t be fixed, they’d fought for much graver issues and had made it through harder times. But he knew he still had to make things right, he loved her, he only ever wanted her success. With that in mind, he hopped into a cab. The entire ride home felt like an eternity, his leg hadn’t stopped bouncing and anxiety was starting to form in a shape of a ball in his stomach, maybe even his throat. Once the agonizing fifteen-minute ride back to his home was over, he’d given a bill to the driver not even looking back at the man's surprised expression and mumbled a “keep the change”, before heading in.

“Babe!” he shouts stepping into their apartment, he gets no response but he can tell she home by the shoes neatly placed at the front door and the soft sound of music coming from the living room. He proceeds to remove his shoes—because he knows how much Ashley hates when people wear shoes inside— before laking his way to the living room, “Ash, baby…”, he hesitates, she spares him a glance before going back to reading. She looks good, he thinks, all curled up in a duvet on the far left corner of the couch, makeup-less, messy curly hair in a loose bun and glasses threatening to fall off the bridge of her nose as she concentrates on whatever book she’s reading or trying to, at least. He takes a couple of steps towards her, hoping to get a reaction, her attention, anything. She doesn’t bother looking up, but her brows furrow slightly, so fast you’d miss it if you weren’t paying close attention. She’s trying to put up a hard front, she does that when she’s mad at him, he knows, he knows he should give her a little space but right now he just wants to apologize; he needs to know if they are okay so he settles down on the couch next to her, tentatively wrapping his arm around her waist. Ashley freezes for a moment before relaxing in his hold, she won’t give in though, not this time so she stays quiet pressed against Jungkook’s side book still in hand.

She feels a light kiss being pressed to the side of her face, “I’m sorry” he whispers afraid that he speaks louder he’d make things worse, Ashley refrains from reacting, she wants more than just excuses and he knows. Another soft kiss, “please”, if she hadn’t been with him for four years she’d think he was begging for her attention but she knows better, “Ashley…” she finally looks up settling her book to the side “what?” she questions. Their eyes meet and for a second she’s about to give in but then she remembers what her lover had suggested she do, “what do you want Jungkook?”

“I-“ he cuts himself thinking, “I was being selfish, I never should have told you what it did, I feel bad Ashley, I trust you I do. And I know how important it is.”

“Okay”, is all she says, and for a moment he thinks it’s too late but before he can start overthinking things she adds, “I don’t like it when you get like this, all possessive, I love you but if we’re going to fight like this every time I get a movie opportunity… we can’t-“ he cuts her off with a kiss before she can finish her sentence, Jungkook knows what she’s about to say, he pulls back “It won’t happen again, I promise”, he says foreheads touching a hand on her cheek the other still around her waist. That’s when he feels them, the tears wetting his hand, he pulls her in closer this time hugs her close, her face is pressed to his chest, “we’ll be okay’” he promises lightly rubbing her lower back, “I know” she sniffles.

They stay like this for a while, Jungkook whispering sweet nothings to his lovers holding her close. Ashley is an on the verge of falling asleep when it happens, Jungkook’s stomach grumbles all too loudly, she looks up at him and trying to hide an amused smile she says “really, love, right now?”, he laughs it off slightly before easily standing up from the couch with Ashley still in her arms. She complains lightly face buried in the crook of his neck “I was falling asleep you monster”, but he can feel her smile on his skin. He lightly pinches her thigh before setting her down of the kitchen counter, “you know if you’re trying to cook me for dinner that’s cannibalism” she jokes as he turns her back to her to fetch some instant ramen from the cupboard, he faces her once more “does eating you out count as cannibalism? because I remember very clearly you-“, she gives him a slight shove before sliding off the counter, “you are disgusting.” she says giving him a look before making her way towards to fridge. She helps herself to a glass of apple juice before snaking her arms around his waist, while he works at his oh-so-elaborate dinner.

They spend the rest of the evening talking things out all cuddled up in their bed before passing out in front of a film, Jungkook’s head pressed to his lover's chest.


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Jungkook wakes up to the smell of pancakes, he lightly rubs his eyes and stretches his limbs out in an attempt to wake himself up a little more, he drowsily steps out of bed and walks to the kitchen where he is greeted by an all too energetic Ashley washing up the pan she’d used to make pancakes. He carefully makes his way around the counter, wraps his arms around her waist and sets his head in the crook of her neck planting a small kiss, “morning sleepy head” she says while rinsing the pan and setting it on the dish rack to dry, she makes a move to face him but he holds her still, pulling her in closer “no” he complains “don’t move, ‘m sleepy”. She laughs lightly, “we can’t stay like this forever the pancake will be cold”, he breathes her in before loosening his grip, allowing her to face him, she gets on her tippy toes to pecks his lips lightly before pulling him toward the counter, “sit, eat”, she glances at the clock as he takes a seat, “it’s already 8:30 we don’t want you to be late”, she states before stepping out of the kitchen and into the bathroom.

He smiles to himself as he takes a bite out of the lukewarm pancakes paced in his plate, reflecting on how he’d gotten so lucky. The past four years had probably been the best years of his life before he can get too deep in his thoughts Asher walks back into the kitchen freshly showered wearing nothing but her bathrobe, curly hair still damp. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” she grins, “don’t you have practice today, it’s almost 9 a.m sweetheart you shouldn’t be late, again” she takes a seat across from him pouring some maple syrup over her pancakes before digging in.

“I have a day off actually”, he says before finishing up his plate and placing it in the dishwasher, he sits back down, “and tomorrow’s Sunday, so I’ll be home for the weekend,” she smiles up to him “that’s good to hear, I have a class this evening, but otherwise an don’t have much work this weekend,” she gulps down the rest of orange juice and puts her dishes in the dishwasher as well before pressing the start button.

“I like this”

“Huh?” she muses, confused, turning around to face her fiancé, “we haven’t had breakfast like that in forever, or even half a weekend where we both had clear schedules” he states matter-of-factly, making his way towards her to give her another kiss, “you stink, go shower” she says once he’s successfully pecked her lips, avoiding his playful glare, “alone?” he pouts, “yes alone, now go,” she ushers him towards the bathroom.

A content sigh leave her mouth as she struts over to their bedroom to get dressed, she steps into their walk-in closet— an item that she deemed completely unnecessary but Jungkook had insisted that he needed all the space accessible to store his various pairs of shoes and hoodies— and picks out a grey pair of high waisted mom jeans along with one of her future husbands overly large sweaters, once satisfied with the outfit she put on she walked out and knocked (not that she necessarily needed to) on the bathroom door, “Kookie, I’m coming in”, she announced before stepping inside the room.

It was hot, so steamed up that the mirror had fog all over, Jungkook was still in the shower, probably will be for another fifteen minutes, she thought as she stepped closer to the sink grabbing her toothbrush. After brushing her teeth, she fixed up her hair parting in the middle as she usually did and fluffing in up to make her curls even more bouncy looking. She applied a deep burgundy color on her entire lid and lower lid, and proceeded to draw her signature winged liner before applying some mascara, lip balm and highlighter, she sprayed some setting spray on her face before giving herself one last look in the fogged-up mirror. She hadn’t noticed the shower stopping nor heard her fiancé creeping up on her, taking a step back she bumped in a very wet and very naked Jungkook, and gasped loudly, “Shit, don’t-“ she put a hand to her chest breathing in, “don’t scare me like this, jeez”.

She turns around to face him, “you looked so focused, I didn’t want to break you out of whatever trans you were in,” he says reaching behind her to grab his towel, and drying himself up before wrapping it around his waist. “You look good,” he says before pulling her in for a kiss. It’s slow and soft, lips touching gently moving in rhythm, he nibbles gently on her bottom lip as if asking permission for more, hands steady on her lower back, her arms wrapped around his neck, close, slow yet so full of emotion. They hadn’t kissed like that in what felt like years, always exchanging rushed kissed when they’d cross path on their when to work, or heated wet kissed when had a little time for a quickie in the studio's bathroom. They eventually pull apart staring at each other, breathing heavy, “I missed you”, Ashley whispers “missed this”. He pulls her in for a hug, and kissed the top of her head, “I missed you too,” he sighs “we just have two more months to go baby, two more and then we’ll have our honeymoon, one month just the two of us, no work, no stress, just us.” They pull apart slightly “two months” she whispers back, it sounds like a promise.

They eventually do pull apart, Jungkook brushes his teeth and gets dressed up, while Ashley sits in their living room learning the lines to the script shed received yesterday. She liked the storyline, even though she does find it a little cliché, the character she plays is a teenager who falls in love with her older brother’s childhood best friend, they eventually start dating but they had to keep it a secret from her brother. It’s beautiful really, and she can relate to it in a way, to this forbidden relationship. When Jungkook had asked her to be his girlfriend four years ago, they’d kept it very private, not even his bandmates knew until Jimin had walked in on them in Jungkook's room on their one year anniversary, it was quite hard, for both of them to keep this big secret and had eventually taken a toll on them, it’s three years into their love story that’s they’d decided to reveal it to the public. Ashley wasn’t a public figure or anything, she was a dancer and modeled on the side, Jungkook had been worried that the reaction to their couple would be negative, luckily for them it went better than they’d expected it would.


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