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being in love with you (is a really bad idea)

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Deep breaths. My lungs don’t have the capacity for those right now, but I try my best anyways. I rush up the stairs, hand holding onto the railing for the support my shaky legs can’t provide and I’m finally at the top. I shove the heavy door open and squint my eyes as the strong winds hit my face, hair clinging to my wet cheeks.

It’s time. My body, weak and sickly as it is, carries me to the edge of the rooftop in a few long strides and now I’m staring down at cars as they pass by. I bypass the railing that divides me and certain death and slump down into a sitting position. I sway my feet as I watch the people below walking past and frown as I imagine my body falling on one of them. I hope not. Pulling my letter out of my ragged hoodie, I scan over the words one last time before securing it inside my jeans’ pocket. 

I stand, hair whipping with the wind and take a deep inhale. My last. I stretch out one leg, and then the other. 

 

I’m falling. I thought it would go by so fast I wouldn’t even notice but it feels like everything is in slow motion. I watch the tall skyscrapers around me as I drop to my untimely death, closing my eyes and letting myself smile for the first time in a while. 



Things go white.

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Really white. Why is everything so white? I realize I’m staring up at something. It looks like..the ceiling of a hospital. Really? I was so sure I would die!

“Nozomi!” A woman’s desperate voice calls out a name I don’t recognize. I look to the side to find the source of the voice. A woman with messy auburn hair sits beside me. She has dark circles underneath her puffy eyes. She jumps onto the bed I’m laying on to hug me, crying out.

“Noozomiiiiii! Oh, never do that again!!” She squishes me onto her chest, and I make note of how much smaller I am.

“Uh...what?” That’s not my voice. What the fuck..

“Oh, sweetheart, don’t you remember?” She pulls back, holding my cheeks in her warm hands as she looks down at me. “You just- Ran off into traffic! You’re so lucky the hospital was nearby!”

I look down at my small hands, clenching and unclenching them. Now that I think about it..

“Who are you..?” Her eyes widen, and she covers her mouth with a dainty hand.

“T-This isn’t funny, Nozomi!” I tilt my head.

“Who is Nozomi? Where am I?” I see tears gathering in her eyes before she dashes out of the room wordlessly. I’m left lost until a few minutes later a man in a white coat walks in.

 

“Hello there, Ito... Let’s see, your aunt told me you weren’t remembering things , is that correct?” He’s scribbling in a clipboard as he drones on in this monotone voice, pushing his glasses up when he glances at me.

“Uh, yeah, I guess…” Telling him I was a suicidal high schooler just seconds ago shouldn’t be ideal. He clicks his tongue.

“Alright. Can you tell me what you remember?” 

“Nothing.” I fidget with the translucent sheets that cover my...definitely shorter legs.

“..Nothing? Nothing at all, not even your name?” I nod hesitantly.

“Alright..” He scribbles down something in his clipboard then looks back at me.

“See if this triggers anything, that is, makes you remember: Your name is Ito Nozomi, you are 5 years old and you live with your aunt, Ito Chiya, in Musutafu. You ran into traffic, being hit by a car and are now in Akemi Hospital. Ring any bells?”

I blink at him. He blinks at me. 5 years old what in the everloving fuck do you mean 5 years old I was 15 just yesterday you can’t be pulling this shit right now I wanted to die, not to be reborn into an already existing child what the ffffuuuuuck. “Uh, no..”

“...I see. Thank you, Ito.” He scribbles more down before walking out of the room, muttering under his breath.

 

-

 

Its been a long, gruelling three weeks since that day. I was discharged by the end of the second one, and I'm now attending school as usual. Not that I have to… I've been put in a honors class and they call me a prodigy, but I'm actually just a teenager. I've been getting used to this new world, my lack of parents (not that I wasn't already used to that), my clingy aunt, and 'quirks'.

At first, I didn't really get it, but after reading 1(one) book made for children I discovered they are superpowers. Some people have strong ones that they use to combat evil ('heroes') and some use them to cause distress and chaos ('villains') while some have more...regular quirks, such as just having long legs or sharp teeth. My quirk is...unknown, so far, but I'm excited to know what it is!

 

-

 

I have come with...bad news. It seems you can also be 'quirkless'. If I come to be quirkless, I will absolutely kill myself again. 

In other news, I have made my first friend in this world. Her name is Nao, and she likes drawing. She speaks to me constantly and without break, and while a bit annoying, it keeps me from having to actually say anything, which is nice. My teachers have been kissing my ass since I came back to class, with the exception of one teacher. I am concerned she might cause me trouble. Kobayashi-sensei is a nice lady with everyone else, sure, but she's cold towards only me, and her claws are very concerning when you consider her attitude towards me. I hope she doesn't touch me with those.

 

-

 

It's been a while. The doctor says I have a quirk, but it just hasn't shown yet. I really hope it's not something dumb like coming back from death, because I was kinda looking forward to becoming a cool hero and all that jazz. I am praying to whatever god sent me here I get something nice.

On some other updates, I've actually started to respond when people call me 'Nozomi' or 'Ito', Kobayashi-sensei has only grown scarier, and I am now 2 centimeters taller. Nao has been sticking to me more often. We are now what people call…'Best friends'. I have never had one, but I seem to be doing good so far. I will use this as training so I can cultivate an ideal high school experience. On that subject..

I have learned of something amazing. There are hero schools! I mean, it makes sense that they'd have them, you probably need to make sure the people saving the world are well prepared to do so, but it's just so cool!

It makes me feel like a kid all over again, seeing the pictures of Yuuei on my aunt's notebook. I can't wait to study there! I know I will!