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Not-So-Dirty Little Secret

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He was at the record shop every day, 20 minutes at a crack, listening to the same few CDs on the test player over and over again. He seemed obsessed with the idol scene, with all the glowsticks and charms hanging off his bag, but he never bought a CD to keep with him. Was it because he had it on his phone? No, then why would he come to listen? It didn't make sense. Choromatsu didn't exactly make sense all the time. He was your friend and musical confidant. He was also your crush. Which was an issue, knowing his insatiable desire for female idols. Both things that you're not. So, the crush was always kept under wraps.

"Thanks for always letting me talk about idols," he finishes off his long tangent. You weren't paying attention, as much as you tried, you just got lost in those sparkling, curiosity driven eyes. "It really makes me happy."

"Of course," you reply. "We're pals."

"Well," he puts a CD case down. "I think we should go now, before the manager starts giving us the look."

"You never buy the CDs. Why?"

"I don't have anything to play them on." He looks down sadly.

"Why didn't you say so?" You pick up the CD he was previously holding. "I have an old disc player at my house. You can have it."

"Seriously?!" His face lights up with joy. His hands wave around a little.

"Yeah. And I'm gonna get you this CD, too. Call it an early birthday gift." You give him a little wink. Was it a subconscious flirt, or just a friendly gesture?

"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!" He giggles and blushes. "This is awesome!"

You two walk up to the register, pay for the CD, and then walk out of the shop, Choromatsu clutching the bag close to his heart. He has a small skip in his step as he goes alongside you.

Springtime rushes through the tall reeds and drops petals over the ground you two walk on. Choromatsu can't stop smiling, the grin adorning his face everlasting like his younger brother. You can't help but stare. He's never seemed to smile this long. You just want to reach out and hug him tight.

You arrive at the doorstep of your place, running up to unlock the door. "I'll grab it and then come back out, okay?" Choromatsu nods and waits patiently, wringing his hands. Most adorable man on planet Earth, and he's only got eyes for women. What are the odds? You gently close the door behind you and rub your eyes. It was tiring to be around a crush that would never return your affection. At least if he were to crush, he could imagine a girl loves him, and she probably would. You go to your room and rifle through your belongings, grabbing the old pink Discman. At least he would like this, and maybe he'd offer you just a tiny bit of affection. You open back up the door, putting on a fresh smile for him, waving the Discman around.

"Found it," you say. Choromatsu jumps and runs up to you.

"Are you sure you wanna give it to me?" He furrows his brows. "I mean, if you wanna keep it, that's okay, I don't–"

"Take it," you reply honestly. "It would make me happy."

He waves his hands even more. "Oh, thank you! Thank you!" He takes it from your hands, rubbing his fingers over the faded plastic. "Do you mind if I…"

"Test it out!" You pat his shoulder as you sit down on the porch step. He plugs the buds into his ears and unwraps the CD you got him. He pushes it into the Discman and presses the power button. His face lights up with joy and he bounces along to the music. He closes his eyes in ecstasy.

"Choromatsu," you say. He doesn't answer. He must have the music turned up so loud, he can't hear. You feel like you're going to explode with affection for the man. "I love you so, so much." It can't help but spill out. "I see you all the time and I just wish we could be together always. I just want to kiss you, right now. I love you, I love you." You fiddle with your thumbs. "I love you, wow. Wow, I can't stop saying it now. I love you!"

You look over and see a blank expression on his face. One earbud is unplugged and the Discman is turned off. He starts blushing wildly.

"Uh," you fumble. "How long have you been listening?"

"E-ever since you said… my name."

"Oh," you put your face in your hands. "I guess there's no hiding it now. God dammit." You shake your head.

"W-wait," he whispers. "D-did you mean it?"

"Yeah. And I'm sorry," you begin to ramble. "I'm sure you don't like guys and here I am, just coming on to you. I'm sorry."

He hides his face too. "Um," he mutters. "I like you too."

It's nearly inaudible. "What?" You lift your face from your hands.

"I like you too!" He shouts. "I think about you all the time, it's crazy! Seriously, I imagine us as the two main characters in some of my mangas! But I'm so shy that I–" He hides his face in his sweater. "Mmmmmph."

"Listen," you say. "If we both like each other. Then maybe we should…" you pause. "I'll count to three, and, uh. This sounds corny, but we can try and kiss. You know." You giggle. "Like your mangas." No turning back now, you suppose.

"One." You turn towards his cowering form, hands covering the rest of his head.

"Two." His eyes peek out the top of his sweater, staring at you. You lean a little closer.

"Three." You close your eyes and hold your face out. You almost start to pull away, until you feel something soft and warm on your cheek. It's him.

You hear a whimper and your eyes snap open. "Did I do that right? I've… never kissed anyone before." He looks away bashfully, face going even redder.

"I was hoping for a kiss on the lips, honestly."

He whines again. "I don't think I can."

"Can I?" He nods. You lean over and kiss his lips gently, enough pressure to register as a kiss but leaving enough space to let him escape if he needs. He doesn't, pressing back just as gently. You feel his hand brush past your face as he puts both hands on your shoulders. You reconcile, putting your hands on his waist. It felt so perfect.

"Wow," he whispers, pulling away. "I never thought a kiss could be so… incredible." His hands shiver on your shoulders. "Does this mean we can, uh…?"

"Be boyfriends?" You finish his sentence.

"Yeah," he looks away.

"I'd really like that," you reply, rubbing circles on his hips. He squeaks at the contact. "I'd really, really like that."

He doesn't respond, but he does scoot over to move into your lap, laying his head on your shoulder. "Kiss me again?" He whispers to you.

"Yeah," you say, planting a kiss on his temple. "Anything for you."

Choromatsu was more excited about this moment than he was about any CD.