Peter, on the phone with Happy: Vegetable oil is made from vegetables, coconut oil is made from coconuts, sO bAbY OiL–
Happy: *hangs up*
Tony, deadpan: This mirror is covered in shit. It won’t go away. Oh wait, that’s me.
Wade, peeking his head into Peter's room: Where did you put the plunger?
Peter, eyes wide: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?
Wade: I LIVE HERE!
Peter: NO YOU DON'T!
Wade: YES I DO!
Peter, frantically dialling Tony: NO THE HELL YOU DON'T!!
Ned: My dogs allergic to peanut butter.
Ned: ..no peter. You're on pranked! Look there's a camera right there-!
Sam, singing: Do you want to dance with meeee?
Bucky: Go fuck yourself!
Sam, still singing: Why won't anyone dance with meee!?--
Bucky, deadpan: -cause I wanna fuck y-
Loki, giggling: Hey FRIDAY? What's my name?
FRIDAY: You're Loki, but you told me to call you vagina vagina vagina vagina vagina--
Thor, hand held up: Bruce! Bruce!"
Bruce, glaring softly: Excuse you, I have a P-H-D!
Thor, smiling: And I have to p-e-e okay!
Killian, explaining his bad guy plan to Tony: My main goal... is to blow up.. and then act like I don't know nobodeeey! Eh! Eh! Eh-
Harley, violently whisking a bowl, sobbing: I need to restart my potatoes!!
Steve, filming, his face way too zoomed in: I'm just chillin. In cedar rapids
Tony, walking through the hallways in the Avengers compound: I'm over this dumbass place with these fake ass people--
Wanda walks out of frame
Tony: ...fuckin bitch
Ned: Excuse my potty mouth...
SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
May, holding baby Peter: Spell B-M-W
Baby Peter: B-E-W
May: Where do you hear the E?
Baby Peter: I- in the middle.
Drax, face timing Mantis: Guess what I'm eatin.. PoPcOrN!
Mantis, face timing Drax: Ooh Drax I'm eating ICECREAM!!
Thanos: I love myself. Even though I look like a burnt chicken nugget, I still love myself.
Loki, glaring at Odin: YOU'RE NOT MY DAD! ALWAYS WANNA HEAR SOMETHING! UGLY ASS FUCKING... NOODLE HEAD
Brunnhilde: Hey, I'm a lesbian.
Thor, giggling: I thought you were Asgardian?
Rocket: You've been in your room all day.
Groot: I am Gr--
Rocket, glaring: YOU'VE BEEN IN YOUR ROOM ALL DAY!!
Cop: Sir, you're under arrest!
Stephen, floating: For what!??
Cop: For breaking the laws of physics 😎
May: Aye, the pizza's here!
Peter trips and falls down stairs
Peter, sobbing, his leg bent unnaturally: AGHH! MY EARS BURN!!!
Vision: so I'm a man?
Vision: And you're a girl.
Vision: So.. that means I'm superior!
Wanda, angrily muttering in sokovian: -jesus christ!--
Michelle: This bed. It's soft. It's com-fort-ab-le. I'm bout to lay down and stay down
Nebula, angrily storming into the room: WHO ATE ALL THE YARO ROOTS!!?
Gamora: Neb, we never had Yaro roots!
Nebula: AND I NEVER LOVED YOU!!
Gamora: ( ○ . ○ )!
Nebula: ( ͡ಠ ʖ̯ ͡ಠ)╭∩╮
Steve, smiling: It's such a beautiful day outside!
Tony, appearing from the kitchen: Not as beautiful as me! ;)
Sam, awnsering his phone: Hello?
Bucky: WHO IS THIS!?
Sam: YOU CALLED ME!!
Bucky: I CALLED STEVE!!!!
Sam: I'M NOT STEVE!!!
Bucky: I KNOW, SO GIVE HIM BACK HIS PHONE!!!!!
Steve, drunk af on Asgardian mead: I wanna church gurl that go to church.. aNd rEaD hEr bIBLe
Luis: Can I have a napkin?
Scott, working: Sir, this is McDonald's.
Luis: My bad- can I have a McNapkin?
Scott, smiling: Of course! Oh my god-
Groot: I am Groot!
Peter: When there's too much drama at school, all you gotta do is.. walk awayayaeyyyy.
1941 Steve: You're dis- You're disrespecting a future US army soldier!
Tony: That is not correct. Because according to the encyclopedia of- HsusiushUjayajsiajIkiaoak!!
Gamora: Did you wash the dishes?
Peter Q, laying on the sofa: I thought .. you wanted to do that.
Gamora, eye twitching: Mh mh mh! You were wrong!
Rocket: I should have left you on that street corner where you were standing!
Groot: I aM gRoOt!
Shuri: CCCHHIIICCKEN SSSTTRRIIIPPPSSSS!!!
Shuri, filming: She drunk as fuck!
Natasha, fully clothed in a bath tub: I'm washing me and my clothes bitch. I'm washing me and my clo--
Tony, throwing pillows off the sofa: I can't find it!!!!
Rhodey, eyebrows raised: What are you looking for?
Tony, deadpan: My happiness.
Grandmaster, drunkenly to Topaz: We in this bitch. Finna get crunk. Eyebrows on fleek. Da fauq!
Tony, sobbing over a pic of Steve after civil war: Why the fuck you lying? Why ya always lying? Mmm oh mai god. Stop fuckin lying
Tony: Would you rather eat a pound of bricks or a matter baby?
Pepper: What's a matter baby?
Tony, winking: Nothing sweetie, what's up with you?
Thor, groggily: Oh, sorry! I fell asleep while I was waiting for you to make me a sandwich
Loki, knife in hand: Go back to sleep.. and starve!
Scott, running into the car: HOPE THEY'RE FOLLOWING ME!! THEY'RE FOLLOWING ME HOPE!!
Hope, frantically trying to start the car: WHO!?!?? WHO'S FOLLOWING YOU!!?
Scott, cracking up: THE BUGS!!
Hope, bamboozled: ..- ThE bUgS!?!?!!
FRIDAY: Peter Parker to the foyer, Boss has a little surprise for you!
Peter, running into the room and seeing Tony holding a puppy: iS tHaT a cHiCkEn! ?
Ned: Bro, I had a dream that we fucked!
Peter: Bro, it was just a dream. I wouldn't fuck you!
Ned: You wouldn't? :(
Peter: I mean unless you want to👀??
Steve: It's the fourth of July, y'all know it's true. The colours of the flag are red white and blue.. whips Ayeeeee!
Shuri: Sleep? I dunno about sleep it's summertime!
Ramonda: Go to bed!
Shuri: Oh, she caught me!
Me: Oh my god I love Tony stark! With his brown hair and brown eyes he make me do this--
( ˶˘ ³˘)ﾉ⌒*:♡♡♡♡*:♡♡:♡♡*:♡
Peter, to Tony: I mean- sure! You may be verified on Twitter but are you verified.. in the eyes of god?!!
Gamora, reading texts that drunk Peter Q sent her: Girl, you're thiccer than a bowl of oatmeal??
Peter Q: 👉👀👉
Young Tony: Dad I found the cure for cancer!
Howard: You find a cure to that homework yet?
Young Tony: I- it's cancer!!?!!
Howard, glaring: Bitch, it's homework!
Tony: And just remember, no one will ever be able to hate you more, than you aLrEaDy hAtE yOuRsELf
Thor: What do you have?
Loki, running past: A kNiFe!
Rocket: You are what you eat!
Ego: I guess that's why girls always call me a dick
Peter Q, spluttering: You ate a dick!?
Ego, cackling: Yes!
Tony: I'm never wrong. I thought I was wrong this one time, but I was wrong! 😎
Thanos to Wanda: WAiT a mInUTe. WhO aRe yOu?
Tony, sobbing over the accords: WHEN WILL YOU LEARN!!??
WHEN WILL YOU LEARN!!!?!?!??!
ThAT YoUr ACtIONs hAvE CoNSeQUeNcES! !!?!??!?!
Ned: Hey Spider-Man?
Michelle: I knew it!
Peter: Wait no! It sounded like Peter-
Peter: Yeah? --DAMMIT!
Quentin: So basically um what I was thinking was-
Tony uses BARF for PTSD stuff
Quentin: aw fuck! I can't believe you've done this!
Flash: Pepsi bottle. Coca-cola glass.. I don't give a damn..
Natasha, on trial: No off topic questions. Because I don't want to. No. No! Permission denied. Next! That's an off topic question. You have been stopped-
Maria Hill: This bitch called me ugly I said 'bitch where!?' She said 'underneath all that makeup' I said ...bitch where!?!?
Fury: Bitch gon step on my fucking toe bitch with them fucking cowgirl fucking boots bitch disgusting!
Ned: Yeah gurl?
Betty: I am so proud of myself. I ate a brownie today!
Betty, louder: AAARRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Quentin: Gimme EDITH so I can kill you!
Peter: No, say can I borrow her!
Quentin: Can I borrow her?
Peter: Sure, here you go- AAAHHHHHHHH!!
Tony, grinning: Kid, I brought you a new toyoda!
Peter, running outside: You brought me a car!! :D
He sees this on the road: a literal toy Yoda
Tony, wheezing: Hehe! Toy Yoda!
Peter Q, grinning: I got it bitches! Chocolate vanilla swirl with cookie crunch please!!
Yondu, fed up with teenage Peter Q's shit: THAT'S IT! You're in timeout get on top of the fridge! Get up there!
Teen Peter Q, struggling to climb the fridge: This ship is a FUCKING NIGHTMARE!! !
Peter, sobbing after Tony took his suit: Roses are red, violets are blue. Why did you leave me Karen? W-what did I do??..
Clint: Every time your kids yell at you, put a quarter in your no yelling sock and soon you'll have a weapon to beat them wi--
Liz: what'd you say?!
Sally: What'd you say?!?
Abe: I said whoever threw that paper your mum's a hoe!
Peter Q, bursting into Rockets room: I have to show you something!!!
Rocket, annoyed: What??!
Peter Q: *Whip*
Thanos: ARE YOU READY TO FUCKING DIE!!??
Loki, chocking: No- IMMA BAD BITCH YOU CAN'T KILL ME!!
Peter, sobbing: Mr Stark! ?? Mr Stark! !?! Tony?!?? Oh mah fuckin gawd he fukin ded
Loki: I don't need friends they disappoint me
Beyoncé: Bring the beat in!
Wong running into the room with a beet: ANYTHING FOR YOU BEYONCÉ!!
Bucky, running for his life: AaaAAAAaaaAaAaaAHhhhHhHh!!
T'Challa, with murder on his mind: Why are you running?!!
WHY ARE YOU RUNNING!!???
Tony, getting interviewed: It's sounds like something she'd say
Christine Everhart: Hehehehe
Tony, smirking: I like that laugh... heuheuheu
Peter Q: Can you throw me my keys?
His walkman crashes onto the concrete
Peter Q, sobbing: I said my keys!!?!?
Drax: I thought you said walkman!
Peter Q: WHY THE FUC--
Rhodey: Yo, how much did you pay for that Taco?
Scott, grinning: Aye you know this boys got his free tac--
Fury: Carol, why is your cat at work today?
Carol, sobbing: BecAusE I hEaRd mY DadDy sAy tO My mOmmA iMma eAt tHat pUssY wHeN tHE kIdS LleEAaVveeE!!!
Cassie: I spilled lipstick in your Valentino bag
Hope: YOU SPLILLED--WHAWHAGGWHA!!?? LIPSTICK IN MY VALENTINO WHITE BAG!!??
Wade: Calling people daddy is gross!
Tony: Stop kink shaming me!
Wade: Kink shaming IS my kink!
Tony: ... aaAAAhHHHHHH!!!
Loki: Hey everybody, today my brother made me do 'get help' so I am starting a kickstarter to put him down. The benefits of killing him would be I would be thrown way less-
Tony: So you just gon bring me a birthday gift on my birthday to my birthday party on my birthday with a birthday gift?
Steve: ...Happy birthday?
Tony: Uh! I'm not finished!
Stephen: First of all you need to--
Tony: -OH MY GOD CAN YOU LET ME DO WHAT I NEED TO DO
Peter: Road work ahead?..
Uh yeah I sure hope it does!
Happy: ( ͡ಠ ʖ̯ ͡ಠ)
Peter Q: I'm Peter Jason Quill and I'm your freestyle dance teacher
Peter: So how did you and Rhodey meet?
Tony: We were in school and we bumped into each other, his books fell-
Peter: Aww ( uwu)
Tony: -Then I seen that ass I was like DAMN BITCH