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Gone to far to change now

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You wake up in the usual spot. The park school with a bed atop the slippery dip in the middle of a classroom. Around you are desks and a chalkboard with legs disappearing into the green/purple mist. Usually, your Suki is close by to where you both wake up. But you have kept him waiting a while, so he probably wandered off to entertain himself. Taking the slippery dip down, yes you could jump or fly but that’s not the point, you walk over to read the chalkboard.

“Nerezza you were fucking taking forever. I’ve gone to blow off steam at the Opera Skytree”

-          Not your Suki. STOP CALLING ME THAT!  

Ah, Nerezza the name you chose for yourself after your birth name was lost to time. Tomura is your “brothers” Nerezza is yours. Mourning and Darkness. What a depressing pair you are.

You head out into the bizarre hybrid city, giggling at his last comment, knowing he found your previous message. When you and your Suki first found yourself in this dream world, you were both lost. Some things were so like your real-world homes while some were so different. After a while, you both realised this dream world was a mix of both your old home cities. Sydney Australia for you and Tokyo Japan for Suki, together creating Tokney whereverthefuck. A stupid name but you both find it amusing, well you do, Suki says he doesn’t. You never believe him, he would have bitched more if he didn’t like it.

This dream world may be strange, but it never changes. You’ve long since learnt all the landmarks and such. Only one thing other than you and Suki change here. Which are the faceless people you both meet from the waking world. They wander in and out of the mist, their faces blurred, only one of you who knows them can see their face. Thankfully, even if they are dream copies they can listen to instructions. You’ve had to keep Tomura’s on the opposite side of Tokney since he had Suki kidnapped. Lest Suki finds out you know the League of Villains leader, which would just be awkward at this point.

You're still two streets away from the Opera Skytree when you hear explosions. In the dream world, it takes a lot of concentration to use non-mutation quirks. Which means Katsuki is beyond pissed. So, he’s somewhere between got kidnapped again and “Deku” started to trip down the stairs but caught himself. Your Suki is such a delight. Smiling, you continue you on until you glimpse him. Stomping at the base of the Opera Skytree the engineer’s nightmare. As tall as the real Tokyo Skytree but which the aesthetic of the Sydney Opera House granted vertical and like the Opera House on the edge of a bay. It’s a bright pink bay but you’ve both just learnt not to question it. You watch Katsuki as he rips a bench from the ground before using his explosive quirk to launch it into the bay. Your guessing since he watches it until it splashes down, he’s measuring the distance he can make them travel. You intervene before he grabs the next bench.

“So, what evil thing did the villainous park bench do to you?” You smile as he jumps. Looks like he wasn’t watching his surroundings very well. “Poor form for a hero to not keep an eye out my Kat.” He’s already glaring at you before you finish.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” He snaps. You don’t even bother responding, you know he’s not mad at you. He wouldn’t have replied at all if that was the case. Besides, he’s sitting on the now safe bench, so you know he wants to talk about what’s bothering him. Wants to. But probably still isn’t going to.

You sit on the bench next to him. Unfolding your wing so you can wrap it around him, pulling him close to your side. He scowls at you before closing his eyes and leaning into your embrace. Well, now you’re worried. “What happened today, my Kat? If you say nothing, I will hit you.” You ask him steadily, he can’t know you're worried or he’ll hide it. The moron, your moron.

“You know I’m interning at Endeavor’s Agency, with the nerd and Icyhot?”

“Yes, you did not shut up about it.”

“Fuck off. Well, I… I still can’t keep up. With Endeavor” Oh goddammit. Your Suki is always so hard on himself. But you’ve known him long enough to know this is only the first issue of the day.

“My Suki.” Snickering at his scowl you continue. “Kat, Endeavor is the now number 1 pro. Before that 20 something years as the number 2. He has so much real world experience, while you’re not even in your second year yet. Hush, I’m still talking. It takes time, it takes practice. Even you can’t just expect to be perfect at everything straight away. You have more determination than anyone I know, and you’ve seen how many people I know. You will get there. Not today, probably not tomorrow. But you will. You will be a great hero.”

You hear him make a small huff sound, you don’t know whether he means to laugh or cry at your words. He probably doesn’t know either. He opens his mouth to reply before you interrupt, you already know what he’s going to say.

“Don’t you dare bring up the kidnapping. It wasn’t your fault, Kat. I mean it. You did nothing wrong. It wasn’t your fault the League targeted you, it wasn’t your fault they captured you. It means nothing they think you’d be better a villain. You are a hero through and through. It wasn’t your fault heroes got hurt during your rescue and it absolutely isn’t your fault All Might had to retire after the fight.” Tightening your wing, you wrap your arm around his waist. “You’re not weak, Kat. You're so very strong to get through it and you’ll just get stronger.” When you feel dampness on your neck where his tears fall, neither of you bring it up. You rest your head on him while you both sit on the bench. Looking out at the pink bay and all the copies wandering the dreamscape.

After a while, you feel as your Suki tries to pull away. Wrapping your wing tighter you hold him in place, smiling as you feel his struggle and growl. When you feel him put force behind his attempt to escape you completely loosen your wing. You huff a laugh as he nearly propels himself off the bench. Usually, you would keep him trapped until he lets loose small explosions then mock him for nearly propelling him off the bench. But today isn’t a joking day, he’s already up and pacing in front of you.

He’s been pacing for several minutes now alternating between a pensive look and snarl. Well, fine if he’s not going to tell you himself. “What else happened today?” You ask to catch his attention.

Sighing, he begins “Okay, Icyhot invited me and Deku over his place for dinner. With his family. Including his dad.” You wince that sounds like a recipe for disaster. Your Suki’s told you of what occurs behind closed doors at Endeavour’s house. “Yea my opinion exactly. Why the fuck would Icyhot invite me? We’re not frien–“

“Shut up brat. You pair very much are friends. Hush, I know you better than anyone. I know what kind of people you like. I honestly believe if we weren’t connected as we are, you could have been happy with Todoroki.” You know he’s going to have a scowl on his face. “You like people who can challenge you, Kat. Be it with their quirks or their words you won’t accept anything but the best. Todoroki and even Deku can match you and even overpower you with their quirks. My quirk may be no match to yours. But you and I both know I can put you in your place easily, my Love.” You’re just proving a point calling him that. You know he can’t handle it. Saying I love you or calling him sweet names are the easiest ways to turn him to a gaping blushing mess. Hence you rarely use it, you never care for the easy win.

“Do you think I’m going to leave you?” He’s asking so seriously, but you can’t stop yourself bursting into laughter.

“Sorry. Sorry. No, I’m sure you’re not going to leave me and I’m certainly never going to leave you.” You best nip that thought in the bud before he can even consider that option. You look him head-on smiling as you speak. “I’m yours as long as you’ll have me. I said in another world where we never got to meet in this dream world, I could have easily not been hit with this quirk. We’d never have known each other. Never know what we’re missing. But luck was on our side. We met each other. We get to see each other whenever we are both asleep going on eight years now. And soon I’ll be able to afford the trip to see you in person.” You stood up and walked over to him during your speech. You lean your head into his neck, he’s only slightly taller than you. For a while you were taller than him. Sometimes you miss it. He was so much easier to fluster when you could look down at him.

As usual, he avoids the verbal reply to emotional conversations. Wrapping his arms around you tight, before loosening and pulling away. It’s ok you never need him to tell you. You can feel it. Sense it. You know if you pushed, he’d say it but that’s not the point. It makes the times he says it without prompting the greatest of your life.

Anyway, you know you’d best get him back on track “Are you going to tell me how dinner went now?”

“It was okay. Went against my will. DON’T LAUGH AT ME! Icyhot’s sister made me Mapo Tofu, which was good. But then they started bringing up all their family drama. WITH GUESTS OVER! BEFORE THE DISHES WERE CLEAN! Fucking ruined my evening and MY TOFU!”

You’re biting your lip to stop from laughing. If you know your Suki, which you do, he said the exact same thing at dinner, in front of everyone. You can’t laugh no matter how hilarious your Suki is. You need to know what is bothering him. Because you doubt it’s the tofu or the drama with guests over, it might be, but you doubt it. “Ah yes, drama in front of Mapo Tofu. It just absorbs all the bitterness. But are you going to tell me what’s the real problem?”

“Fucking Deku said something.” You wait, he’ll continue in his own time. “Said that Ic–Todoroki, any of them don’t owe their dad an apology. That they can just say they’ll never forgive him. But since they're so nice they’re just waiting for the moment”

Ah, you think you know where this is going. “Deku isn’t wrong. Nobody owes anyone an apology. You also don’t owe it to anyone to accept their apologies. I would never accept my guardian’s apology should they ever care enough to apologies for kicking me out on my 18th. But I feel this really isn’t about the Todoroki’s. You’re wondering if Deku can so easily say that you never have to forgive someone. Why did he forgive you?”

Katsuki turned around at some point, his head lowered, body tensed. You don’t need him to confirm it. “Deku like the Todoroki’s is very nice. But you’re changing yourself, my love. You’re growing up. You were very young when the bullying was at its worst. Endeavour was an adult, their parent. You were and now are a friend again. Very different social standards, Kat. But I can only guess Deku’s intensions. I only know what you tell me of him. If you really want an answer, you’d have to ask him. But you won’t so you’ll just have to take what I could offer.”

You walk around facing him during your speech. His body has been relaxing as you talk so you guess he’s mulling over what you said. You lift his chin up so your eyes meet. He deserves some good news, it seems. “Want to know something good.” You screw with him by nodding his head for him. He glares and pushes your hand away. Smiling, you continue “Well I’ve saved up enough that I should be able to go to Japan next week.”

His eyes light up so you know he’s happy about it. Before his expression darkens. “Nez… I. Nerezza, I don’t like you working in those clubs.”

You’ve had this conversation before. Singing in seedy clubs is how he thinks you get your money. You can’t tell him you earn it by killing pro heroes and whatever target you’re hired for. “I know you don’t. I don’t like it either. But my guardians left me nothing when they stopped being paid to keep me. I couldn’t afford food, clothes anything. I’m now a fucking high school dropout. No place will hire me. Singing is better than the other options and it lets me keep what’s left of my dignity.” You kiss him in apology. You both know it’s your only option. “Besides you know me, I can look after myself.”

“I really hope so.” You look at him. He looks worried. The “club” alibi is nothing new, he’s never looked worried over it before. “When Endeavour was driving us back to school. Some villain he put away years ago turned up. Took trigger and kidnapped Icyhot’s brother. I want–no, I WILL be a hero. But I’m known enough to have been. Well, you know. I worry villains will target you.”

A fair assumption. You guarantee they will. You’ll kill them. But that brings up other issues. You could probably get Tomura to make you a none target. But that only works for his group. Independent villains are another issue. You can look after yourself, but as Katsuki’s girlfriend, you can’t kill any trash who test you. Now how to help your Suki. You can’t lie to him. But you can look after yourself if nothing else flying quirks are a minority, easy to escape with.

Bracing yourself, smiling as comforting as you can. “I won’t lie to you, my Suki. Villains will probably try. Such is the price of being a hero. You can save everyone else but in doing so put those closest to you in danger. But I’ve not gone into this blind Kat. I knew from the moment you said you would be a hero it was a danger. I’ll never ask you to give up your dream, but I hope I don’t have to ask you not to give up on us. I’m not as strong as you, or any of your co-heroes in training, I know that. But I can fight, and I can fly. I can look after myself. We’ll cross this bridge when we get to it and, hey. You’re going to a hero school. Maybe you should ask them?”

You move to rest your head against his during your speech. It seems to have calmed him. Time moves differently in the dream world it could have been only an hour or seven. You have nothing to do tomorrow but your Suki needs to get up early for his internship. Trailing your hand down his arm to his hand you turn so you can both make your way back to the bed on the slippery dip. You end up forcing him to hold hands, you know he likes it, but he’ll blush and grumble the entire walk. Your silly sweet Suki.

You both arrive back at the park school, flashing him a grin you extend your wings and fly up to the bed. You hear him huff before he uses his own quirk to propel himself up. You grin as you lie on your side. Wings are great, but they’re a nightmare to sleep with. Kat lies down on his own side facing you. He must feel extra sweet tonight. He’ll probably end up on his back looking at the sky. But for now you both relax, curling into each other, foreheads touching, and lips close enough for brief kisses.

Eventually, Kat will fade away as he wakes in the real world. Leaving you alone on the bed. To smile at memories of him and cry knowing one day he’ll know who and what you really are.

And it will break his heart.

You will break his heart.

But you can’t stop now.

You think when you wake up, you’ll call Tomura. You won’t abandon your only other surviving friend and the closest person you have to a brother. You won’t betray him. Especially not for heroes. Even if you love one. But he can probably help you save your Suki from the chaos to come.

Even if your Suki won’t consider it saving him.