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The Photographer

Chapter Text

It had been a grueling session, sitting through his numerous failures and fuck ups made the hour long therapy session seem much longer.

Jared leaned his head against the steering wheel of his car in a bid to calm his agitated nerves but it was not working. A sharp honk broke him out of his attempts to attain some sort of mental peace.

With a derisive chuckle he muttered to himself. ‘Here I am losing my mind and bugger needs my parking space’.

Slowly he moved out of the parking space onto the road when he saw Jensen getting into Jeff’s car. Jensen, who was battling so many demons was the walking proof of Jared’s failures, immaturity and insecurities.

How did they reach here, where the two former lovers could not look at each other without feeling guilt, regret, anger and resentment?

Jared in his heart knew the answer now. It was three years ago when Jensen and Jared were madly in love but were too young to understand that world was cruel and could yank the happiness away. If people were not old enough to understand and appreciate these things, then outside dark influences can shatter you.

Three years ago

“Jensen..Jensen..,” yelled Jared as he walked inside the three room apartment he shared with his live-in boyfriend.

“In the kitchen” Jensen yelled back.

Jared hurried into the kitchen and found his boyfriend with a tall mug of coffee and reading some papers.

Jared hugged Jensen from behind and asked ‘Hey baby! What you got there?’

Turning around to plant a kiss to corner of Jared’s mouth Jensen said ‘Missed you… This is the usual script for an advertisement to sell soaps in my underwear. So original’.

With a possessive growl Jared said ‘You in underwear meant only for our bedroom. But I get the appeal even I would want to expose all this awesomeness for selling more soaps’.

‘Wish I did not have to. But anyways where is the fire? You came yelling into the house surely you have some big news’ said Jensen.

‘You bet I do. Mark has invited me to do a calendar photo shoot with him. You know how picky and choosy he is with just reserving these for Brad’s, Hemsworths and Tom Hardy’s of the world’ said Jared.

‘Mark…Mark Pellegrino?’

‘Yup the only and only. This is so big for me and my career. If this works out you can cut down on these soap commercials and perhaps focus on completing your masters, Indie projects and your music,’ Jared continued enthusiastically missing the stiffness in Jensen’s body.

‘I am so happy for you. But promise me you will be careful. If anything makes you feel uncomfortable you will march out and come straight to me’ said Jensen.

‘Woah! Not that I do not appreciate the concern but where is this coming from?’

‘Nothing I just worry about you. You are barely 22 it is easy to get overwhelmed. I have worked with the guy before; for lack of a better term it got intense,’ said Jensen with all the earnestness he could muster.

‘Babe… This is very different from what I have heard about the guy; he is a total sweetheart. May be you misread some of it’.

‘Perhaps. But for my sake Jared just be careful’.

‘I always do Jen’.

The next six months passed in a whirl wind. Jared’s photoshoot wrapped up within a month and it did open up vast sea of opportunities for him. He had started getting small but important spots in TV shows.

Bigger change that elated Jared but put Jensen on edge was the growing friendship between Mark and Jared. They had become drinking buddies whenever Mark was in Los Angeles.

For many of these drinking sessions Jared tried to get Jensen to tag along but it never happened. Jensen always had some reason for not being able to make it and he was happy doing just that. Avoid meeting Mark was Jensen’s mantra. Till either Jared or Mark got bored of the friendship and simply grew apart.

So it came as a surprise when Jared six months in said he wanted to invite Mark over for dinner.

‘Mark is dying to meet you. I have kind of talked his ears off saying all sorts of things about my awesome boyfriend. But my busy Jen cannot find time, so Mark suggested if he could meet at our home. Frankly he does not believe that you exist’ said Jared to Jensen.

Jensen was not prepared for this. He removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. He could not avoid it any further.

‘I need to tell you something. I did not say anything so far because there was no need. But now with Mark entering our house and thereby becoming a part of our lives, I need to come clean. My first photoshoot after I turned 18 was with Mark, he was charming, real sweetheart that way. He used to pay special attention to me, being young and all. He cared quite a bit to the point of being overwhelming. When the photoshoot got over, he said he really liked me and tried to kiss me. He was 28 and I was just 18. I was flattered as well as scared. Somehow my sense of being overwhelmed won and I said I am way too young and not sure whether I was ready for any relationship. After that we parted ways. Though his agent reached out to me for a couple of shoots but I just could not say a yes, I wanted to get through college. There you have the full story,’ said Jensen.

Jensen was prepared for a disappointed, angry reaction but the expression on Jared’s face was something totally different.

‘Wait you don’t look surprised’ he said.

‘Well! As you know I have been talking a lot about you. One day he mentioned that about five years back he met a Jensen and it was pretty much the same version you just said. Though he added that he was embarrassed and wanted to make up for the weird way he behaved and tried to get in touch for another year or so through offers of more photoshoots. When it did not work he moved on. He did not remember your last name and was not sure you were the same guy, and I did not probe because if there was a story you would tell me’ said Jared.

‘Oh shit! You must think I am a lying asshole’ said Jensen.

‘Not a lying one, just a hiding one. But this seems a harmless story of what five years ago. He moved on, you moved on. I guess we can leave all that behind’ said Jared.

‘You are not upset?’

‘Would I have preferred to know this earlier? Maybe. But do I get your logic of talking about it now? Yes. So we are good. Just in the future if you have any more guys lusting after your ass or had done so in the past let me know’ said Jared.

‘You are awesome. And please extend that invite to Mark so that we could move on from the embarrassment once and for all’ said Jensen.

Neither of them could imagine what sort of problems they were inviting in their lives through this invitation.

Chapter Text

Two years six months back

It was about a fortnight later that work brought Mark back to Los Angeles away from his permanent home in New York.

‘Jared what do we cook for him. He is not like our usual company, pretty sure he would be used to finer dining and we are beer, pizza kind of people’ said Jensen little frantic.

‘Relax! I would have thought so too. But he is chill…We will order in because I am a shit cook and you are a nervous cook. This dinner does not deserve such paranoia or is there another reason want to rekindle the budding romance’ Jared said with a twinkle in his eyes and laughed out loud.

‘You, fucker. You did not just say that’ said Jensen punching Jared in his arm. ‘And for that you would make this place presentable and order what needs to be ordered’.

‘Ouch! That hurt. But anything for my princess’ said Jared and pulled Jensen in for a fiery kiss.


His body was shivering with tiny tremors, the effect of the therapy sessions.

‘Jen, are you okay! I know these sessions are hard on you and being in the same room as Jared for these would have been especially hard’ said Jeff as he looked at the man sitting next to him.

‘It’s getting better and having him there allows me to let go off some of the burden and resentment I have been carrying around for the past two years’ said Jensen.

Jeff stopped at the red light and look at Jensen.

‘You should know that whatever come may I am always there for you’

‘I know Jeff. I really don’t know what I did to deserve you. You have stood by me through this phase without any judgement or pity even though I cannot give you what you want most of the time’ said Jensen.

‘Hey! I have not done anything that a good human being and friend would not do. And it does not come with any strings just pure and simple love’ said Jeff.

‘I keep thinking back to the worst three days of my life and if it wasn’t for you what would have happened? Where would I be today? Would I have ever been the same person again?’

‘Jen… none of that. There was a reason I was a part of your life and I would have never forgiven myself if I could not help you. Even today I think I was late. Should have been there sooner’ said Jeff.

‘Atleast you were there, you listened, you understood more than I could say for anyone else’ said Jensen

Two and a half years ago

‘Jared will you get the door?’ Jensen yelled from the kitchen as he was busy preparing a cuos-cuos salad. He could not rely on just take-outs so he prepared a salad, a pasta, his famous chilli and a caramel custard. It was a simple meal but home cooked atleast.

Realising that Jared was on the phone with his agent. He let go off his salad and made it to the front door.

He opened the front door and was greeted by the sharply dressed Mark.

‘Can I? Should I’ Mark said as he looked over Jensen in the smooth tone of his voice. However, it was the blue eyes and their intensity that took Jensen aback.

‘Excuse me?’

‘Your apron says Kiss the cook… Did not want to presume so asked before acting on the order’ said Mark in a tone that Jensen could not tell whether it was full of mirth or heat.

Jensen quickly looked down and to his horror, he had indeed stepped out in the kitchen apron. His stupid, goofy boyfriend had brought it for him as a gag present and Jensen was happy to play along with it.

‘Well this is embarrassing’ said Jensen as he removed the apron.

‘No…No! It’s me who should be embarrassed. The apron look was just too cute to resist but I should have known better. I apologise for today and for the five-year-old kiss attempt’ said Mark in his same charming voice.

‘Water under the bridge man. You look good’ said Jensen.

‘Not as good as you. Speaking as a photographer, at 18 you had the amazing face and a body to grow into. At 23 you have truly developed into a fine specimen, photos of you would just sell on their own’ said Mark.

A slow blush developed on Jensen’s face, he averted his eyes, scratched behind his neck and said ‘Come on Mark’.

It was then that Jared made an appearance on the door.

‘Mark! You made it’.

‘See this was the only way I would have met the ever elusive Jensen so offcourse I would come. You are a lucky man that he chose you’ said Mark.

‘I think so too,’ said Jared as he placed a hand on Jensen’s hip.

‘If you guys are done embarrassing me then we should head inside’ said Jensen clearing his throat loudly.

‘Sure sweetie, whatever you want’ said Jared giving Jensen’s hip a slight squeeze before letting it go.

‘I hope you guys like vintage wines. This is a 20-year-old bottle’ said Mark handing it off to Jensen, while doing so his hand lightly brushed Jensen’s.

‘You should not have Mark this is too expensive’ said Jared missing the hand brushing completely.

‘You guys have invited me to your home, this is the least I could do’ said Mark as he cuffed Jared on his arm and moved into the living area.

Jensen was left in the passage looking at the wine wondering how did Mark know that this was their aspirational drink of choice when Jensen and Jared had enough money to spare.

Chapter Text


Jared entered his modern and sleek one-bedroom apartment. For a single man it served all his needs perfectly and did not allow him a lot of space to dwell on how lonely he felt most of the time.

He wandered into the kitchen to warm up a can of soup and not for the first time missing the simple yet elegant meals that were his life couple of years back.

The more he thought the more he realized that he had been young and blind to all of it and his lapses had left such a brutal mark on Jensen that with passage of time became only sharper.

Not for the first time in the last two years Jared was left wondering that why didn’t he listen to Jensen when he had the chance.

Two years one month ago

Between Jared’s second photoshoot with Mark, Jensen’s soap commercial, the duo rarely was able to find time for each other.

So finally when Jensen wrapped up his shoot he breathed a sigh of relief that atleast he would not be too tired to cook and have some meals and conversations with Jared.

He could not hide his disappointment when Jared announced their new house guest.

‘So Mark was saying he is sick and tired of hotels and outside food. I could just hear the pain in his voice, when he said he would die for a cup of noodles too. What could I do? I offered him to stay with us for the remaining 10 days of shoot and then he goes back to New York’.

‘Jared, not that I don’t want to help out a man but don’t you think there is too much of him already in your life. We rarely saw each other for the past two months. Finally, I have time on my hands and I wanted to spend it with just you and not split it up with a house guest,’ said Jensen his voice getting more irritated by the minute.

‘He is our friend. We have had Chris, Steve hell even Chad stay over with us’ said Jared.

‘They all are different. They know us enough to understand when to move out of the room and they are not guests that I would have to bend over backwards for. Mark is literally your boss, what if I do something and he takes it badly and decides to torpedo your career,’ said Jensen.

‘I know what I am doing. He is fond of us both. I don’t think we could do anything that would piss him off of us. Infact he keeps hinting how he missed out on getting you to model with me’ said Jared.

‘As long as we are talking about it. I am uncomfortable with his attention towards me’ said Jensen as shifted nervously on the couch.

Jared gave a laugh which was clearly came across as Jensen being just silly.

‘Jen! Trust me he is like that with everyone and with me you don’t know half of the harmless flirtatious back and forth we had,’ said Jared.

‘And is that supposed to make me comfortable, that my boyfriend is flirting with someone on the job and is bragging about it’ said Jensen heatedly.

‘I just love you. All that is just harmless banter that is part of the façade I maintain to keep me interesting. You know nothing will ever come off those, it will remain just that flirty talks nothing more’ said Jared as he held Jensen by the arms and looked deep into his eyes.

‘I miss you Jared’ said Jensen with a sigh as he allowed himself to be pulled into a hug.

‘I miss you too Jensen. And it is just a matter of 10 days then we have lots of together time only for us. I am gonna fuck you till you can’t walk straight; you would not even remember your name’ said Jared.

Little did the young couple know that how wrong Jared was.

The next day Mark moved in and they went out to their favourite bar for drinks.

One thing led to another and Jensen was dragged by Chris and Steve to sing. Jensen could not refuse because it was their last night in the Los Angeles before they left for a month for a country wide tour.

Jared looked on from the table he was sharing with Mark, as his boyfriend’s elegant fingers adjusted the guitar strings.

‘Your man is something else isn’t he? So comfortable with the spotlight and attention of so many admirers. He just knows how to handle the attention’ said Mark.

‘Haha Mark. I am pretty sure you have him confused with someone else. He needs to be practically dragged up on the stage. He gets all nervous with the attention, wonder how he is able to make it as a model and much less for soap and deodorant commercials’ said Jared as he took a massive swig of his beer.

‘Certainly not from where I am sitting. I do this for a living. This shy routine actually at times gets more attention. Aww… this beautiful guy with amazing green eyes, amazing jaw line, pretty lips is so shy. They want to get to know him more. Most of the people he works with are professional or personal friends of mine, they all say that this guy will make it big with his comfort and the ease with which he subtly manages the attention’ said Mark.

Jared was sure it was all hogwash, he knew Jensen but jealousy is an ugly beast which gets fueled by insecurities. He turned to look at Jensen who had just broken into the rendition of the ‘eye of the tiger’.

The way he crooned, the way he swayed his hips to the music, the way he curtsied to the swooning audience, to the way he slapped, hugged the musicians on the stage all looked wrong to Jared.

He could not even wait to say goodbye to Chris and Steve when he was out of the door.

The cab ride home with Jared and Mark was extremely uncomfortable for Jensen due to the awkward silence. The silence grew very oppressive by the time they reached home.

As soon as Jared and Jensen entered their bedroom, Jensen asked ‘Hey what’s wrong you have barely said few words since we left the bar’.

‘Nah! It’s nothing. I just have a massive headache and I have early morning tomorrow. I would just like to sleep’ said Jared.

‘Oh sure. No problem’ said Jensen.


Jensen wondered as he stroked his cat ideally that how different things would have been if he had probed Jared then. If he had not let it be. Pretty sure they would have fought but they would have been more cautious and more understanding.

Pretty sure he would have cut short Mark’s alone time with Jared.

But Jensen knew now that Mark was part of the problem. A huge part but a part.

By now whiskers knew that Jensen was feeling better so it casually slid off his lap. Unlike the popular misconceptions cats are extremely perceptive creatures and they know when their owner needs contact.

Jensen got up from his seat and wandered towards his study table which was littered with notes for his physiotherapy master’s exams. He needed to get on that but doubted how much could he get done today with the way his mind was whirring about.

He looked at his phone to check on the voicemail. There was one from Jeff pretty much ordering him to eat and study in that order and that he would check up on him tomorrow morning.

Sometimes Jensen wondered what did he ever do to deserve a friend like Jeff. Then there was a message from Chris again checking up on him.

There were two more voicemails from unknown numbers but there was no sound. Pretty sure that they were butt-dials of sorts, the last voicemail made him frown a bit as he could hear deep breathing in that one. Not wanting to deal with unnecessary hassles he blocked those callers.

Chapter Text

Two years one month ago


It was horrible morning. The alarm did not ring which made Jared terribly late for the shoot. He saw a message from Mark that he has already left and he would have waited but he does not like to late. It was thinly wielded blow to Jared’s professionalism.


‘I told you I had an early morning. Why didn’t you wake me?’ said Jared as he hastily threw on some clothes.


‘I am very sorry. Even my alarm did not ring’ said Jensen.


Jared knew he was being unfair but he blamed Jensen for the horrible morning.


‘Just because Mark is staying with us does not give me a free pass to being unprofessional’ said Jared.


‘I would never presume that. I am sorry again. I will drive you to the set’


‘Don’t bother Jen. Enough damage for today I have called an uber’ said Jared as he walked out of the door leaving a hurt and puzzled Jensen behind.


The entire day Jensen worried whether he should call Jared to apologise or whether he would call to apologise for being snappy, but the call did not come.


By evening he could not take it anymore and messaged Jared, on how his day went and he would make it upto him when he reached home tonight.


My day is good, tiring…and no you don’t have to do make up for anything, it was just a shitty morning. I love you. Got to go they want me again… See you tonight


Breathing a sigh of relief Jensen went about preparing his famous burnt garlic rice and chicken gravy. He decided to put on the green button down shirt that Jared said brought out his eyes and he paired it up with his most comfortable jeans, which looked casual but hugged him in all the right places.


With Mark being there it would be difficult to have a romantic dinner but he was hopping they would share the dinner and a glass of wine and then Mark would retire to his room leaving the living area for couple to have some alone time. 


It was 8 pm and still there was no sign of Jared or Mark. He was just about to message Jared when he got a message from him.


Hey sorry but sudden change of plans the crew wants to go out for drinks tonight one of them just had a boy. Can’t ditch them with an excuse due to Mark


To say Jensen was disappointed would be an understatement but he took a deep breath and texted back.


No problem…congratulate the dad from my end. For your hungry stomach will keep the plate for you


You are the best Jen


‘My hiatus from work is really sucking so far… friends are off touring the world and boyfriend has more fun hanging out with the boss’ Jensen thought to himself.


He decided to do some reading while he waited for them to get back home. He settled down on the couch under the comforter with a cup of hot chocolate. 


It was around 11:30 pm when Jensen heard sounds on the front door. Even before he could get from the couch in walked Jared drunk off his ass and leaning down heavily on Mark.


‘What the hell happened?’ Jensen said as he moved the comforter aside, got up from the couch and moved towards Jared.


‘The crew went mad today with the schedule coming to a close and got Jared involved in their drinking session. Between beer, tequila shots and gin this happened. He is fine though. I thankfully decided to just have beers else you would have had more problems on your hand’ said Mark.


Jensen decided to take Jared off his hands.


‘Woah Jay buddy’ Jared by now was leaning on Jensen.


‘Jen you are very pretty and you look so so pretty today’ said Jared as he moved in to kiss him. Jensen ducked him, he felt uncomfortable to do this in front of Mark.


‘I love you buddy. Let’s get you to the bed. Mark sorry for this and thank you taking care of him’ said Jensen as he led Jared out of the living area.


‘It’s the least I could do’ said Mark.


After he finished getting Jared on the bed and out of his stinking clothes he went back downstairs to the living room.


He walked to see Mark occupying the same place on couch he had just vacated and looking at the back cover of his book.


‘Ahm’ Jensen cleared his throat to get his attention.


‘Hey sorry… I saw your book and could not resist looking it over. I like to read a lot but do not really get time to do as much’ said Mark.


‘I get it… don’t worry about it. Listen thanks again for taking care of him, he generally never does that and if at all only with friends’ said Jensen.


‘We are friends Jensen. So it’s all cool’ said Mark.


‘If you are hungry I have some rice and gravy. I was waiting for you guys to show up so even I haven’t eaten’ said Jensen.


‘Oh damn! Sorry about that. Let’s eat. You have some wine we can have that too’ said Mark.


Jensen did not know how to say a no to him and that to after he practically carried Jared all the way home.


‘Yeah sure’


The entire conversation during dinner made him realise that Mark was the same charming guy. He wanted to know you, listen to you.


Jensen did not remember the last time he had spoken to someone about his desire to go into physiotherapy or how he wanted to explore singing.


‘Jensen you are like this complete package, looks, brains, talents. If you decide you can achieve anything. So in this lifetime if I have to bet on anyone I would say it is you who can do all that much more’ said Mark as he looked into Jensen’s eyes.


Jensen did not know where to look. This was getting uncomfortable for him again. He cleared his throat and ducked out of the staring and said


‘Thanks for that Mark. But it’s getting really late. I better head upstairs and make sure my boyfriend is not heading for the toilet to puke his guts out’ Jensen laid special emphasis on boyfriend when he said that.

Chapter Text



‘Jared for how long are you going to continue punishing yourself’ said Chad as looked his longtime friend who was grunting with exertion as benched pressed 20 pounds.


What… phew… you call as punishment…phew…I call as building up my body and taking care of it’ said Jared in between the bench presses.


‘Who are you kidding Jared? Before whatever happened with Jensen you used to take of yourself but not to the extent that you wanted to be built like a fucking truck. When was the last time when you went out on a date or even for drinks with your friends? Tell me this obsession with making your body a wall of muscle mass has got nothing to do with Jensen?’ said Chad, as he stood next to a weightlifting Jared.


‘So what if it is huh! What’s wrong in being strong? What’s so wrong about me trying to be a version of myself that can take care of people he loves and just be strong. I did not do this two year back, drinking myself into stupor was way more important to me than taking care of someone I supposedly loved. Who paid the price? Certainly I did not. So buzz off Chad’ said Jared every word laced with anger.


‘Jared you have also been hurting for the past two years. I am glad that you are not drinking yourself into a stupor and this is a much better outlet. But man you need to start living again’ said Chad.


Jared got up from the bench and went upto Chad ‘Man I know you care. But its only in the past eight months that Jensen has invited me into couple’s therapy session. You need to give me some time to work through that. It’s worse than I imagine. I really did not know the extent of damage we have suffered; Jensen went through so much. If it’s any consolation I want to work through these therapy sessions for some sort of a closure and then even if I don’t want to, I will move on’.


Chad could only look at Jared with sympathy, the pain was so evident and not for the first time he wondered what role he played in bringing these guys to this level.


Two years one-month back


‘That’s a wrap for today’s shoot Jared go home, we will take it from here’ said Mark as he moved out from the set.


‘But I thought we have two more hours of work still left?’ said Jared as he followed Mark off the set clad in low riding worn out denims and leather bracelets adorning his both wrists. He was shirtless and his chest was glistening with sprayed on water and glitter.


‘Nah! I need to shoot some stills and need to sit for edits for which I don’t need you. You should head home Jensen might be waiting for you’ said Mark.


‘Umm okay. I can help out on the set if you need help. I hate to leave early when all the crew is still here’ said Jared. He knew that so early on his career if he is known as the star diva who leaves set early when others are still at work he would garner a reputation that he would not be able to shake.


‘Listen Jay… You know you are my friend. So I mean it when I say that you need to head home. I did not want to say anything man but Jensen was pretty disappointed when you came home drunk that night. I had to sit with him for the meal that he had so clearly painstakingly made for you. We talked and with every word it became clear how much he misses your company. So trust me when I say this that I don’t need you on the set for the rest of the day’ said Mark as he looked at Jared.


Every word in that conversation put Jared on the edge, it rubbed him wrong on all the level. Why did Jensen think it was appropriate to talk to Mark about him missing Jared? And how did five days of extra shoot when Jensen was on a break made him feel lonely? He was behaving as though he was a housewife or a househusband and Jared was the mean overworking spouse… Jared offcourse did not say any of this to Mark and quietly made his way back to the dressing room to get out of the provocative gear.


He had just put on his shirt when he checked his phone and saw his childhood buddy Chad was calling.


‘Chad! Oh dude so happy to hear from you’ said Jared.


‘Jaybird…don’t go all girly on me. I am in town bitch. You need to take me to bar where I can ogle and find some pussy and you can look at some gay asses’ said Chad.


‘I will take you to a bar Murray but I am a taken man’ said Jared.


‘Don’t tell me you have not gotten rid of the pretty boy. On second thought I am not gay but sometimes looking at him I can’t help but wonder’ said Chad.


Jared knew Chad, his heterosexual best bud but when he spoke about Jensen the jealously reared its ugly head.


‘If you can stop lusting after Jensen then we can go to the bar in half an hour’ sniped Jared.


‘Jay! You know I love pussy and you. So whatever you say goes’ said Chad.


The bar they visited was crowded with happy hour enthusiast and between Chad and Jared’s simmering anger they were drunk within two hours.


Giggling like teenagers they reached Jared’s doorstep. As soon as Jared saw the scene in front of him, he sobered up.


His boyfriend was sitting with Mark drinking coffee. Mark’s hand was so close to Jensen’s on the top of the table that it was almost brushing his knuckles.


Jensen quickly moved his hand as though scaled and he got up from his seat to walk towards Jared.


‘So another night of drinking is it?’ said Jensen.


Jared could hear the frown in his voice.


‘Oh but you had company no? So no foul right?’ Jared could not keep the bite out of his voice in the drunk state he was in.


Jensen sucked in a breath and continued.


‘It’s okay Jay. I see its Chad. Would appreciate if you could let me know next time if you are running late’.


Before Jared could retort Jensen turned to Chad and said


‘Hey sorry usually the guest room is yours but right now Mark is in it. Would you mind taking the couch? I am gonna take Jared upstairs don’t want him to fall on his face’.


He completely ignored Mark as he dragged Jared to their room.


Too drunk and too tired to make sense of what just happened Chad took the couch and slept.

Chapter Text

Chapter 6


It was still early by hangover standards when a soft snick of the door woke Chad up. He cracked open bleary eye and saw it was Jensen who was back from his morning run.


‘Sorry did I wake you up?’ said Jensen as he removed pods from his ears.


‘Offcourse you, fucker… where is that boy of yours?’ said Chad asked as he rubbed his dry eyes.


‘Good morning to you too darling. Jared is off to studio just two days left for the shoot to wrap up. Here, have some coffee it may help with waking you up’ said Jensen handing Chad a cup of coffee as he sat in chair next to the couch.


‘Oh Jenny I know you loved me. Bless your soul’ said Jared as he took a gulp of hot coffee.


Not one of those people who would interfere in anyone’s matters but this was Jared and Jensen and what he saw last night warranted that he atleast asked.


‘Jensen! That Mark guy is Jared’s boss right? Must be problematic for you guys to have him over?’ said Chad.


Chad was sure he did not imagine the contrite expression on his face, when Jensen replied.


‘Tell me about it. But no seriously he is like a model guest cleans up after himself, very neat, never loud, polite unlike you. But with him being here; me and Jared have just not found time for each other and this is kind of putting us on the edge. Sorry you had to witness us sniping at each other last night. But with the shoot ending in two days I am pretty sure we will get back to normal and put these petty squabbles behind us’.


This was serious, Chad thought to himself because in all the time he had known Jensen this was the most he would have said about any upsetting situation. Chad was glad that Jensen atleast spoke to him but somehow felt uncomfortable in asking further because neither was Chad good at offering advices and nor did they share a relationship strong enough to be having such conversations. So despite his instinct screaming to probe more he decided to drop it.


‘Cheers to that Jensen…’ said Chad.




It was not a good session somehow Jensen was very closed off. No matter how many times Tessa asked him to open he was terse, snappy and ready to bite her head off.


When Jared tried to intervene, he got his head bitten off.


‘This is rich coming from you. You, who did not trust me, the one guy I expected to be there for me was the one who gave me up and put me directly in the harm’s way. So your concern is coming in two years too late. And somehow it is not the lack of concern which bothers me today but the lack of trust. Despite everything I spent months agonizing over that perhaps I must have done something for the lack of faith and trust in me’ Jensen yelled.


This was not the first time Jensen had said this but every time it cut as deeply as it did the first time. Jared was always left apologizing and this time was no different. Typically, after these outbursts they would talk and leave the room feeling better but this time Jensen clamped down so hard that no amount of coaxing got anything beyond grunts from him.


When Jared realized that the situation would not go anywhere, he intervened and asked Tessa to reschedule the session. Even before he had finished thanking the receptionist for the new booking Jensen was already in the elevator. Jared running and huffing had just made it to elevator, when the doors closed. Jensen had not waited for him.


In the past six months they two had made a lot of progress but this behavior from Jensen was kind of putting them way behind. There has to be a reason Jared thought to himself, but was not sure that Jensen would tell him.


When he made his way to where he had parked his car, he heard loud voices belonging to Jensen and Jeff.


‘God! I thought you were done sabotaging and punishing yourself. You need to talk about this. Talk to him, he deserves to know’ said Jeff.


‘Butt out Jeff! It’s my decision and anyway there is nothing to tell. Thanks for coming to pick me but I am taking an uber’. With that Jared saw Jensen walk away. Jared desperately wanted to follow him but somehow thought better off it and decided to go upto Jeff, the one selfless, blameless man in all this.


‘Hey Jeff! Are you okay there’ said Jared as he looked over Jeff who looked tired, pissed and worried all at the same time.


‘Nothing much Jensen being his stubborn self. I had really thought that we had put all that behind us, now I think not so much. However, to be fair he does have a valid reason but it’s not my place to say it, you should speak to Jensen. You have the right to know’ said Jeff.


Jared knew that this was the only time he will say what he had wanted to say to Jeff for so long.


‘I know this is coming too late and I should have said this a while ago but better late than never. I have resented you for so long and so hard because you were there when I wasn’t. You had a better understanding of my partner and the man that I claimed to love. Its only in the past few months I have realized that I should have been thankful. Had you not been there I dread to think what would have happened, how long Jensen would have suffered’ said Jared.


He did not know how he managed to say all that in between sobs, fat drops of tears were rolling down his cheeks. Every word of the things he said were like a sharp pike in his heart.


‘Listen to me. The two of you were young and could not understand manipulation and deceit staring in your face. I thank god every day that atleast I was around when all that happened because I had seen more of the world than you guys and was able to see through that. You don’t have to thank me ever because frankly I think I let you guys down I knew something was wrong and I did not nip in the bud before all that happened’ said Jeff, his eyes were shining with unshed tears.


‘That is all in the past. Call it a hunch but I think it might rear its ugly head back so talk to Jensen’ said Jeff as he pulling Jared into a hug.


This was the last straw and the two men hugged each other and started crying over the lost innocence, lost happiness and over the pain of the green eyed man in their life.

Two years two days back


‘Penny for your thoughts boy. Not that I need someone to talk my ear off but I think we are looking silly. Grown ass man and a twinky little pretty boy sitting nursing their beers’ said Jeff.


This got a rise out of Jensen and bitingly he said.


‘You did not just call me that. Old man if you do that again it’s my knee and your nuts, got it’.


Raising his hand in surrender Jeff continued ‘So tell what has crawled up your ass, that you are doing a brilliant impersonation of a jilted lover. Trouble in paradise?’


‘Sorry, if I am not great company today. Things have kind of not been great’ said Jensen.


And after that he narrated how Mark came into their lives and came to live them for about 10 days. The havoc their life had become due to this visit from alarms ringing late, to Jared coming home sloshed without telling him, Jensen having to entertain Mark in very uncomfortable dinners and coffee sessions.


‘You would believe that we have mastered laundry but don’t know how Jared’s flaming red socks ended up with his white shirts, resulting into them acquiring a uniform pink colour. I thought we will have a shout down but due to Mark we could not and this resulted into another day of festering unresolved anger’ said Jensen as he looked at Jeffery Dean Morgan.


Jeff had been a part of most of his adult life as his agent. His mom had found Jeff for him in Austen. A widower who had relocated in their neighbourhood from Las Vegas after losing his wife to lung cancer. After the shift he decided to go local in representing clients in Hollywood and media industry. Jensen quickly became his number one client and friend and for Jensen he was a best friend and guardian angel all rolled into one. He was the one person in front of whom he could be vulnerable without any fears.


Jeff had this pensive look of his face which for Jensen generally meant an end to confusion and ready answers.


‘We have known each other for what five years now, I got you set up on your first shoot right, the one with Pellegrino?’ said Jeff.


Jensen took a swig of his beer and nodded at him.


‘For atleast 2-3 years I was dogged from his office with shoot requests I only know how I managed to skirt them. Infact some of the requests managed to go past me directly to you. There was so much fixation on you from Mark’s team, in normal circumstances such sort of fixation from the best photographer in town is flattering and a sure shot way of getting ahead in the career but to me is just seemed off. I kind of knew his reputation he has slept with almost all his models and none of them had one bad thing to say about him. So, for a guy like that to fixate on you was fishy. The reason why I did not get you another shoot with him. After hearing all this and what I know, I think Jared and you are getting played. Mark is playing whom I don’t know. But it might be to get his rockers off with either of you,’ Jeff said.


Jeff was right, why else these small fights were escalating to the point of no communication.


‘Jeff what do I do? I can’t say anything, he is still Jared’s boss and I also can’t ignore this’ said Jensen as he worried his bottom lip.


‘I think be alert, warn Jared. And anyways it is matter of just about a day right, day after Mark will leave. So when he leaves you woo your man, candlelight dinner, champagne the works’ said Jeff.


‘Sounds like a plan,’ said Jensen.


But offcourse the first part of the plan soundly backfired.


‘Being played? What do you mean?’ said Jared as he got out of his work clothes and ready for bed.


‘I don’t know but our fights don’t seem normal. Generally, we fight and make up very soon but this time round we are fighting and not talking about it. The lack of conversation is killing me here,’ said Jensen.


Jared sighed and said ‘You are right; I don’t like it either but we cannot blame Mark for it. May be with his presence we are not able to talk about it but that’s about it. Perhaps day after we will be able to talk and vent out our frustration through make out sex’.


‘Oh! I am gonna hold you to that. But seriously he still makes me uncomfortable’ said Jensen.


‘Still? I thought you have been having very friendly dinner and coffee sessions with him. I know of atleast three,’ said Jared, he really did not know why he stressed on very friendly while saying that.


‘What do you mean by that?’ said Jensen hotly.


‘Nothing…nothing I am tired. Mark I am sure was just being friendly’ said Jared in a way that marked the end of their conversation.


When the young couple went to bed that night they both had occupied one end of the bed with a vast gap left in the middle.


Jensen wanted to roll over towards Jared but he was still seething over the comment, Jared wanted to drag Jensen into his arms but his insecurities would not let him.


However, Jensen was determined that he would execute the second part of the plan so perfectly that these ten days would become a sour memory of the past.

Chapter Text

Chapter 7



It has been four days since Jensen had got a good night’s sleep which was one of the reasons why he was a mess in today’s therapy session. Every night his phone and landline would start ringing at the oddest of hours.

Some of them were weirdest marketing calls, some were crank calls and some were plain old missed calls.

You would think that in today’s day and age who keeps a landline, apparently Jensen did because since he was diagnosed with depression after the fateful event it was made mandatory by his family and friends.

You would think that at 26 years old, Jensen was a grown man and did not need continued supervision but his friends and family did not think so.

The calls were so absurd that Jensen could not make any sense of them, let alone discuss them with anyone.

So when his phone rang for the fiftieth time in the day he did not look at the caller just picked it up and yelled.

‘What the fuck do you want?’

  ‘Umm…Jensen this is Jared sorry did I bother you’

 ' I am so sorry. I thought it was another marketing caller. Despite my number being on DND I continue to get them. Tell me what can I do for you?’  

  ‘Umm… this is about today’s session. I somehow think that there is something wrong and that something is happening in the present. When we embarked on doing couple’s session we had promised each other full communication. So this is me asking, is there something that we should talk about or I should know?’

 Jensen could not deny that Jeff was right and Jared had the right to know because in some way be was involved.

‘Actually yes. I should have told you sooner. But anyway can you swing by my place for dinner tomorrow night, then we can talk about it’

 Jared could not express in words the relief this invitation had brought for him. It would mark only the sixth time Jared had been to Jensen’s place in the past two years and this was the first time that Jensen had invited him flat out.

Trying to keep an even voice Jared said

'Offcourse, 7 pm?’

 ' Yes sure’ said Jensen.

 Jared could not let go off the hopefulness that filled his heart.

Two years ago

 Jensen was nervous, as nervous as he was on his first date with Jared. He rechecked the champagne which was chilling in the ice bucket in the bedroom. He had decided not to cook. After the make-out session he was planning to order pizza and watch the game with Jared. By then they would be ready for the talk.

Not for the first time he wondered whether he was overdoing it when he looked over the bed which he had covered with red satin sheets.

He had lit a number of candles all around the room which was setting up the room to a romantic setting with their fragrance and soft light.

He looked over himself in the mirror. He liked what he saw he was wearing his soft green Henley with a deep v-cut, this worked in both bringing out his eyes and also reflected his jaw line well. He had put on soft looking denims which were ripped at thigh and knees. Whenever he wore them Jared could not keep his hands to himself.

He had spiked his hair artfully that gave an acute impression of bed hair.

This setting and his plan would make these past few days just a bad memory. Mark had packed and moved out earlier in the day, Jared has insisted that he would drop him to airport.

He removed his glasses and was moving his hands towards his lenses, when both the doorbell and his phone rang at the same time. It could not be Jared he always had the key to the apartment. He forfeited his lenses and glasses, allowed the phone to go to voice mail and went down to get the door.

To his surprise found Mark standing at the door.

‘Hey Mark did you forget something? Won’t you miss your flight?’ said Jensen being unnaturally defensive, but he could not bear any more of Mark.

‘Umm…actually I came here to apologise to you. Can I come in?’ said Mark.

Against his instincts, he took in Mark’s apologetic expression and allowed him in.

They were both sitting in the living room when Mark said.

‘I really think that I overstayed my welcome and this put strain on you and Jared. Was never my intention. But I really think Jared lucked out in having you, if it would have been me I would have taken much better care of you’ said Mark.

‘Listen Mark this is all very flattering but I am happy with Jared. We are going through some regular fights which we will sort out. So I am sorry, what you are trying for would not work. I am taken. So if you’ll excuse I need to see who was calling’ said Jensen.

Jensen got up from his seat and went upto his cell phone which was sitting on the kitchen counter.

There was one voicemail from Jared, one missed call and two text messages.

Even before he could open any of them he felt a slight prick on his neck. He placed his hand to examine it but immediately he was struck with a huge spell of dizziness. His phone slipped from his hand to clatter back on the kitchen counter.

‘Woah! Jensen are you okay?’ said Mark as he placed his arms around Jensen to prevent him from falling.

‘I don’t know I am feeling dizzy, can’t see well. I think I need to lie down’ said Jensen his words slurring.

‘Okay buddy. Let me take you to your room’ said Mark and ignoring his protests that couch was okay he lifted Jensen into a fireman’s carry and started carrying him up the stairs.

The ground was whirring beneath him and looked like that it was coming up to greet him. He could vaguely make out someone whistling and commenting that the room looked amazingly romantic; a perfect setup.

He felt himself being softly laid on the bed and Jared’s voice telling him that he looked so beautiful and all his.

He felt his shirt being removed gently, exposing his nipples to the cool air. Jared’s tongue was working is magic on his nipples and he could not help but arch into the waiting mouth.

His senses were on fire and he was moaning as he felt Jared’s hand feel him across his chest, neck and abdomen. Jensen was sure by the time their makeout session was over he would need to wear a turtle neck with the amount of hickeys he was getting.

His jeans were next to go along with his boxers. He felt masterful fingers opening him up with lube and fingers. It had been a while so the fingering was also turning him on.

Stars burst behind his drooping eyes as he felt Jared enter him.

Litany of Jared-Jared was spilling from his mouth as his dick got impossibly hard and with Jared’s hand on his dick Jensen was cuming with a scream.

But there were two screams one came from him and one was coming from the bedroom door. With huge amount of energy Jensen looked over and saw it was Jared standing at the door.

Chapter Text

Chapter eight

How was this possible, Jared was with him on the bed? With huge amount of strength, he tried to focus and what he saw made his addled mind go berserk. Mark was with him on the bed, his spent dick near his opening.

‘How could you Jensen?’ Jared said there was so much pain in his voice that Jensen’s heart ached.

‘Jared no, this is not true. There is something wrong’ Jensen said in his slurred words. With inhuman strength he tried to get out of the bed and walk towards Jared but his naked legs were shaking.

The sight was too much for Jared and he recoiled away from the door.

‘It’s over. I am going out for some time should give you enough time to move out of the house. I don’t want to see your face again and hear your voice again’ said Jared as he began to retreat from the door.

‘Jared let me explain, let me understand’ said Jensen as he neared Jared on shaking legs.

‘What did I just tell you?’ with anger in his voice and emotions he could no longer control Jared slapped Jensen across the face.

Jensen staggered back into Mark’s naked chest.

Seething Jared said ‘the two of you deserve each other’ and with that he left.

Jensen tried to pull himself away from Mark but he found he could not. His arms around him were like vice.

‘You drugged me?’ said Jensen after comprehension dawned on him that pinprick was a syringe.

‘Oh you bet Jenny I did. Now that I have had a taste of this sweet body, I am never letting you go. That immature boy really did not know how to handle you. He was so easy to manipulate. Don’t worry Jenny I will treat you the way you need to be’ said Mark breathing deeply into his ear and licked a stripe up his ear.

‘Mmm… before that I need to give your another dose’ said Mark as he laid down Jensen’s swaying body on the bed once more.

Jensen tried to get up but his movements were lethargic and he hardly managed to push himself to his feet when he felt another prick on his neck. He was back on the bed again.

‘There…now this should keep you nice and docile. The first one was to keep you aroused and dull your other senses and it worked beautifully. Now before that oaf of a boy comes back I need to pack some of your stuff need to keep up pretenses that you have left him no? All the stuff you wore today is definitely coming with us, oh and also the green button down you wore on our first dinner. But I am sure I’ll be partial to see you naked most of the time’ said Mark as he packed a bag for him.

Jensen felt his naked body being wrapped up in the red satin sheets.

‘You have a great choice, the red satin sheets below your white naked body is spank bank material. Wrapped up in them you clearly look like a virgin ravished for the first time. Though we both know you are too much of a slut for that’ said Mark as he hefted Jensen in his arms in a bridal carry and carried him over to his car parked downstairs. He gently laid him down in the back seat of his audi. He quickly secured him with seat belts and for added security or thrill measure he wrapped the seat belt around his hands effectively tying them together.

It gave Mark a weird pleasure that he could be discovered but knew he would not as the car was parked in thick shadow of trees lining up the road to Jared and Jensen’s house.

He went back to get the small bag he had packed for Jensen and in the next 5 minutes they were on the way to the apartment that Mark had owned for several years.

He was trying his damn best to keep himself in check as Jensen continued to softly moan from the back seat.

‘It was going to be amazing’ Mark thought to himself.


Jared did not know for how long he had been cruising the streets of LA aimlessly, it could have been hours but in reality it had been just an hour since he had discovered Jensen and Mark in their bed after having sex.

To say that he was devastated would be an understatement. He felt betrayed, angry, hurt. A steady stream of angry tears were rolling down his eyes. Somehow he made it to Chad’s hotel room, he needed a drink, a shoulder and someone who would listen to him vent out all the pent up emotions.

‘Fuck him Jared. He did not deserve you, does not deserve you crying over him. I still can’t believe he cheated on you. He clearly never gave those kind of vibes’ said Chad with vehemence as he handed a whisky to Jared.

Jared laughed at the cruelty of it and said ‘Oh you bet he did. I mean I entered the bedroom with flowers to see him cumming on Mark’s cock in his ass. On top of that he decided to walk towards me naked on sex shaken legs. Cheating and top of that the audacity to rub it in face with so much boldness. I really thought that one thing Jensen would never do is be cruel to someone but he decided to be nasty to someone whom he professed to love. How fucked up is that huh?’

‘Bro! I don’t want to be one of those guys who says I told you so. But I always knew that no one can be that naïve, shy, good in this business the way Jensen always projected. But atleast you caught him in the act so you got saved. Let’s drink to that. I will destroy him for hurting you like this, will tell everyone that he is slut and a cheater. Let him then find a job without spreading his legs then’ said Chad.

Jared did not comment, he still loved Jensen even though he broke his heart into million pieces. Some part of the darkness creeping in his heart thought that what Chad wanted to do was exactly what Jensen deserved. His one act has also spoiled Jared’s chance of working with Mark ever again.

He gulped down the entire whisky in one shot and was extending his glass for another one. Chad hesitated but one look from Jared and Chad poured him another large peg.

‘You know all this while Jensen used to keep insisting that he did not trust Mark, now come to think of it maybe it was him who could not be trusted around Mark’ big fat tears rolled down Jared’s cheeks hiccupping he broke into a high pitched laughter.

‘And you know I had started to believe it to. Mark used to keep talking about how great and sexy Jensen is, we had only started fighting since Mark came in. But it was all a ruse for Jensen to hide his own attraction and I was foolish an idiot’. With that Jared threw the now empty glass at the wall of the hotel.

‘Buddy I think you have had enough. You need to sleep this off. We will talk about your situation tomorrow and what to do about it’ said Chad as he hefted Jared on to the bed.

Before lying down on the couch he sent out texts of Jensen’s cheating to Tom, Mike, Genevieve and Daneel. He was sure this would come as a shock to all his friends but he needed to warn them and needed them to be on Jared’s side if they were going to destroy Jensen for destroying Jared’s happiness.

Chapter Text

Chapter 9

Jensen woke up with a pounding headache. When he tried to open his eyes they immediately began to water due to the bright morning light filtering into the room through the curtains.

He attempted to take in his surroundings, he seemed to be in a modern apartment. Without his glasses and lenses he could vaguely make out silhouette of trees beyond the windows. He was lying down on a very comfortable bed. He was pretty sure that the person who owned this place was loaded.

He tried to move his hands towards his reeling head but found he could not. He looked up and saw that his hands were cuffed and a short chain connected his cuffed hands to the head board.

He began hyperventilating, he could not draw breathe into his lungs, which was coming in short bursts. These things did not happen to regular people and certainly not to me, it happened only in movies, thought Jensen

He felt someone push a paper bag near his mouth and asking him to breathe into it, while taking in those precious breaths he felt a hand gently run circles on his back soothingly. He almost had another panic attack when he realized his back was naked.

‘There…there Jenny! Breathe. Feeling better’ said the voice belonging to the hand as he took away the paper bag.

He looked towards the voice and saw Mark’s creepily smiling face looking down on him.

With inhuman strength Jensen yelled ‘What the fuck is the meaning of this?’

‘Welcome back Jenny! This fire that rejected me so many times is the reason why I wanted you. Don’t you like the chains Jenny? You look amazing in them, like cuming in my pants amazing. This look of naked chest, soft looking denims, chains wound on your wrists, tied to the headboard is a vision to behold’ said Mark as he rubbed himself.

Jensen tried to look away disgusted, but found his face was yanked back to continue looking at Mark.

‘Don’t look away Jenny. This is a compliment that how hard you are making me. I have all the time in the world with you now’ said Mark.

‘Keep on dreaming. You won’t get away with this. There are people who would be looking for me. My friends, my family’ said Jensen in anger, he was trying very hard to keep the panic out of his voice.

‘Your family is it? When was the last time you spoke to them? Three weeks back or a month. I know you guys are not on the best terms since you and Jared became serious, what with them calling you immature and too young to be making major life choices’ said Mark.

Jensen was shocked again, probably the 10thtime, since he woke up. Only a few knew about this.

‘Oh don’t look surprised Jenny. Jared told me all about how your family was not treating him and you right. Silly boy did not understand that your parents just wanted you to take it slow. So I am pretty sure if your parents don’t hear from you for another week or two they won’t be too worried. And by then you would be willing to introduce me to them’ said Mark, as he made his way to lie down next to Jensen. His creepy stare continued to put him on edge.

‘My…my friends’ said Jensen as he felt Mark move closer to his body and laid a warm moist hand on his bare chest.

‘There is the fear I wanted to hear in your voice. You are such a combination of breathtaking good looks, fire, fear, the hidden vulnerability. No matter how much I tried I could never get over it and that’s your fault’ said Mark as he began to trace circles around his nipples. The cool air and the fear was perking them up.

‘My friends would start looking for me’ said Jensen firming up his voice.

‘Oh is it? Let’s see. They must be frantically trying to reach you no?’ said Mark as removed Jensen’s cell phone from his pocket.

‘Umm… So you have one missed call from Jared, one voice mail from yesterday lets listen to it’

Hey Jen listen I’ll be a bit late. One of the crew met with an accident so I am heading over to the hospital, as Mark can’t make it due to his flight and everything. Mark will be coming home, he forgot his passport at our place. Jen things have been pretty tense for a while but starting today will make it upto you. Bye I love you.

 Jensen thought if he had picked up the phone instead of getting the door things would have been so different. He could not control himself as tears welled up in his eyes at how betrayed Jared looked, how he was caught right in the act of having sex with another man. No matter if Jensen was not willing or not, he did cheat.

‘Oh my god! Stop with these tears already Jenny because I won’t be able to control myself anymore’ said Mark as he bent down to lick Jensen’s ear.

‘Fuck off Mark. My name is Jensen’ he said with all the vehemence he could manage. It was this man that had destroyed their relationship.

‘Oh the claws…I like them. So Jensen. Let’s proceed, shall we? No more calls from Jared I am afraid. Oh but there is a voicemail from Daneel and Tom. Didn’t you and Daneel date for a while before Jared came along and did you not help her by setting her up with a modeling agency. And Tom wasn’t he your best friend in college. Wonder what did they have to say?’ said Mark as he fingered the phone to start playing the voicemails.

Jensen listened intently as Daneel’s voice drifted over him.

Tell me this is not true. Never mind you did not even pick up the phone to talk so it does not matter. How could you? When you chose Jared over me, I understood because I thought it was something special. But guess I was wrong, you were just looking for the next thing when it came along huh! And now this is what you are doing to Jared and being so cruel to do in your bed. I misjudged you so bad. I don’t think I have ever felt such strong disgust at someone as I am feeling over you. Have a good life and don’t bother touching base with any of us ever again.

 Jensen wanted to puke at the anger in Daneel’s voice.

‘Ouch! This was unnecessarily harsh. Isn’t she supposed to be you friend and think that there is more to the story? Hmm…guess not’ said Mark. He was finding it so much fun in seeing the pain on Jensen’s face. The face that has haunted him for six years now.

He needed to plunge the knife deeper, with that Mark played the next voicemail the one from the handsome Tom.

I really wanted to give you the benefit of doubt but since you can’t even bother to answer the calls I don’t know what to think. I can’t believe it man, you of all people could do this to Jared. Even with all the history, and despite me knowing you first I chose Jared and will stand with him in this ugly time. Lose my number. 

 In between tears Jensen still believed that there was someone out there who would help him.

‘They all have misunderstood the situation, as soon as they get to know what you are doing, you will straight away go to jail. Jared won’t let you do this’ said Jensen as he gave chains a yank.

‘Still so much trust in Jared? Okay I’ll help you. Let’s try calling him from your phone shall we?’ said Mark.

With increasing despair Jensen heard the phone ring and each time it went straight to voice mail.

‘Strange let’s try this one more time. Let me call what’s his name… Chad. But before that I can’t have you spoiling the fun so soon’ said Mark.

Mark moved towards him with a green silk bandana. With the way Jensen was tied he could do little but shuffle on the bed.

With deft fingers Mark tied the knotted bandana around Jensen’s mouth. It was so tight that only faint muffled moans came out of his mouth.

‘You really need to stop making those noises if you want to quickly move forward from these dead weights around your neck. I have such plans for you’ said Mark with the same creepy heat that Jensen had come to associate with him.

He heard the phone ring two times when Chad picked up the phone.

Hey Mark if this is about Jensen then I don’t think I want to talk but if it’s about the proposal we were working on then sure let’s talk.

Chad, sorry but this is about him. He really wants to speak to Jared. He just needs a chance to explain. He feels very guilty.

  I really don’t think you should be getting on the personal aspects of things right now. Professionally I am happy to have any conversation.

Jensen could not believe that Chad even in this situation was thinking of talking to Mark for professional reasons when he was all too willing to cut ties with Jensen. Guess because he was not in position to further anyone’s career when Mark was good for careers all around.

But I am involved. It’s not just his fault. I was there too.

Yes, Mark you decided to have sex with a taken man. But it is Jensen who chose to cheat. With that he has lost all rights to speak with Jared. I am having a hard time bringing him back from the brink of depression and I cannot allow him to talk to Jensen to help him with his guilt.

  For what it’s worth I am truly sorry. But you know how Jensen is, when he agrees to be with you, you just can’t say no. I guess I lost my control there.

Tell me about it. My boy is a prime example.

By now Jensen was sobbing uncontrollably. Big fat tears were rolling down his cheeks. Did Chad, a guy he had started considering a good friend, suggest that Jensen was a slut around whom Jared could not control himself.

‘Jenny did you hear that. I am so sorry that all the years of friendship and love could not buy one moment of trust of either your friends or Jared’s. I knew that Chris and Steve would have been a tad difficult to sway so I decided to do this when they were out touring. By the time they come back either they will hate your guts or you will introduce me to them. So all and all sounds like a promising start for us. I know this hurts right now’.

Jensen half heard him in between the open sobs. He felt Mark remove his gag and remove the chain connecting his cuffed hands to the headboard. Mark made no move to remove his handcuffs.

Slowly he felt himself being led to the adjoining bathroom. Between his epic freakout and mind-numbing heartache, Jensen had forgotten that he had to pee like a race horse.

Gentle insistent hands led him under the shower and Jensen let himself go. It did not matter that the hands that were responsible for his abuse were the ones comforting him now, helping him step out of the jeans, washing his back, his chest, Jensen just could not care.

Like a zombie he felt a huge towel being draped around his shoulders and he was led back to the bed. Sheets were pulled up on his naked body and his cuffed hands were again connected to the chain and the headboard of the bed.

The lingering effects of drug, exhaustion, the shock of unwanted sex, the harshness of his friends and the general feeling of loneliness all dragged him under. The last thing he remembered before sleep overtook him was Mark hugging his naked body.


Jared had a massive hangover, not the first in if he considered the last 10-12 days. He was lying down in Chad’s hotel bedroom, he could make out from the light filtering in through the drapes that he had slept most of the day.

‘Good morning trouper or shall I say good evening, how are you feeling today?’ said Chad as he handed Jared his coffee.

‘Like someone is playing bongos on my head and some animal has died in my mouth’ said Jared as he took a sip of the hot coffee.

‘Happens when you drink down an entire liquor cabinet. While we are at it, I think I should drop you back home’ said Chad.

That gave Jared a pause and all of yesterday’s events came back to the forefront. Jensen’s betrayal, the heart ache everything.

‘Listen he cheated and you booted him out of your life. No reason why you should not be able to move forward with your life in your home. He does not deserve you moping over him’ said Chad.

‘I guess you are right. Just give me some time to tidy up myself and then you can drive me home. We can take my car’ said Jared.

In another one hour the two friends were entering Jared’s apartment to find it completely empty.

While it was Jared who had asked Jensen to leave, he felt another pang of agony that Jensen had indeed up and left without so much as an explanation or a note.

‘Why was I not enough Chad. I loved him with all my heart but he decided to betray me’ said Jared as he wrapped his arms around himself and looked around the living area and kitchen. Which seemed lonely, empty.

‘Buddy you ought to give it a break. If he was unhappy he should have spoken to you, perhaps even leave you but not cheat on you. Cheating is not okay and the fault lies with him’ said Chad.

These were all rational explanations but they did not make it any better. Just then they heard the doorbell ringing. 

Chad left Jared sitting on couch, and was greeted by Jeffery Dean Morgan at the door.

‘What are you doing here? Did Jensen send you? Does he not have the balls to face what he has done huh?’ said Chad as he made way for Jeff to enter the apartment.

‘What on earth are you ranting about? Why would Jensen send me? He had invited me over for dinner and then he hasn’t been picking up his phone. He did not say that you would be joining us’ said Jeff.

Realisation dawned on Chad as he figured that Jeff was not aware of what had happened.

‘Oh! Seems you don’t know that boy of yours. The boy you think hangs the moon and stars cheated on Jared’.

‘While I can tolerate your absurdness on most of the occasions but this is something that is even beneath you’ said Jeff fuming.

‘Believe me, cheating is beneath me. Come on in, see what your precious Jensen has done to Jared’ said Chad as he led Jeff into the living area.

Jeff was shocked at the sadness emanating from the usual goofy and full of life Jared, looking younger than his 23-year old self. He was sitting on the couch listlessly staring at his hands.

In his two years of knowing Jared through Jensen he had grown fond of the tall ball of energy and charm. If Jensen was indeed at fault Jeff would not hesitate in punching him.

‘Hey buddy! What happened?’ said Jeff as he sat next to Jared and put his arms around him.

Jared started bawling into Jeff’s chest, wetting his shirt with tears, snot and spit. Jeff just kept running soothing circles on his back, allowing the boy to calm down.

‘Jensen left me after he slept with Mark’ hiccupped Jared as he calmed himself.

Jeff gently pushed Jared away, holding him by his arms, he said.

‘Jared this is not possible. I would have believed that Jensen can cheat but the one person on this wide earth he would not with is Mark. He was terrified of him. Jared if at any point you have considered me a well-wisher, believe me when I say that this is not the whole story’.

Jared laughed and said ‘No Jeff he has you fooled too, all his reservations about Mark was just an act. I saw them on our bed in the act. I don’t want to gross you out but they both climaxed as soon as I entered the bedroom with flowers’.

Jeff could sympathise with Jared, such a sight could be harrowing for anyone but especially for these boys who found something special at such a young age.

‘I believe what you saw Jared but there is something more going on. Mark has been obsessed with Jensen for six years. I had to intervene all the time to prevent Mark from getting close to Jensen. So what you saw is not straight forward. Would you mind if I look around?’ said Jeff.

Jared nodded, he knew Jeff would be as disappointed as he is but he could not burst his bubble of belief in Jensen just yet.

Jeff had in the next 30 minutes gone through the living room, their bedroom. The bedroom was all the more confusing, if Jensen was expecting Jared to be back any moment then why would he have sex with Mark in the same decorated bedroom? The missing sheets also added on to the mystery.

He went and checked the medicine cabinet and found that Jensen’s lens and lens solution were both still there and even his glasses. If Jensen was leaving this would have been the first things, he would have packed. But he still could not clearly understand what was going on unless he entered the guest bedroom and found a singular wrapper under the bed. What he read on the wrapper was like a jolt to him.

He rushed back to Jared and Chad who were still sitting on the couch ready to deliver the news that was sure to wreck further havoc.

Chapter Text



He did not know why but today’s dinner made him feel that it was a date and Jared was dressed accordingly.


He put on the back jeans, white shirt and a black tailored waist coat. He did not want to be too forward so he had carried a six pack of Corona with him.


When Jensen opened the door, Jared was taken aback by the sight in front of him. Dressed in beige slacks and black polo shirt Jensen looked as good as he did when Jared had met him for the first time.


The green eyes, the smattering of freckles, the full lips, the defined jaw line, his lean body, his bow legs Jensen was still a vision that kept Jared up most of the nights.


‘Umm hi!’ said Jensen as he moved to take the beer from his hands, this broke Jared out of his reverie.


‘You look nice. You have a special date tonight after this’ said Jensen.


In between his epic checking out Jared had missed that while Jensen was beautiful he looked tired and his voice infact sounded more tired when he made the light comment.


‘Only the best for you Jensen. But listen, are you okay you don’t sound so good’ said Jared as he moved into sit at the kitchen island.


‘Just hadn’t had a sound sleep, I keep getting crank, marketing calls at the oddest of hours. Should take it up to the telephone company to put a stop to atleast the marketing calls’ said Jensen.


‘Okay, you let me know if this is serious, full disclosure and all’ said Jared.


‘I remember’ said Jensen with a smile. ‘I have to tell you something but why don’t we eat first’.


They were in the middle of the third serving when Jensen had to get up to collect a package from the courier service.


‘What is it?’ said Jared.


‘No idea it says it is a sample product from a website called Giftsforyou’ said Jensen.


Even before Jared could caution Jensen against opening the package, Jensen was ripping into the packaging.


Jared watched in alarm as Jensen’s eyes got wide and his hands began to shake. With shaking hands he withdrew something from the box which promptly fell to the floor due to Jensen’s shaking hands.


Jared bent down to see what had scared Jensen so much. Lying on the ground innocently was a green silk bandana.


Two-year back


Jensen could make out that it was night and his nightmare was still not over. He was still lying on the ridiculously luxurious bed, with his hands cuffed to the headboard, which were by now screaming with agony of being held in the same position for so long. However, this time he was completely naked beneath the red satin sheets and his legs were tied to corners of the bed, leaving his private parts vulnerable under the sheets.


Jensen did the only thing he could do. He started yelling. Some of the neighbours were bound to hear him. He was still yelling when he felt large hands clamping down on his mouth covering the entire bottom portion of his face.


Jensen was still thrashing about when he felt Mark push the hated knotted green bandana in his mouth.


As soon as his mouth was completely gagged, he felt Mark slapping him harshly three times- four times. The harshness of the slaps left him whimpering and his lips bleeding. Jensen could feel his cheeks heating up due to the slaps which were sure to bruise.  


‘Why would you make me do that? I want to leave deliberate marks on your body not the ones that are enticed by your stupidity’ said Mark.


Mark tightly gripped Jensen’s jaw bringing tears to his eyes.


‘Now will you be good? Because if you think yelling will help you, you are mistaken. We are in LA in the part of the town where the rich and influential like me tend to experiment with sex. So even if cops do come I just have to say officer he wanted it. You know how these perverted types are, finding pleasure in being forced and then denying. Sorry to have wasted your time officer, I will make sure not to indulge such kinky guys again. Who do you think they will believe a twinky wannabe model or well established leading photographer who has owned this property for seven years now’.


Jensen was scared because all this while Mark had exhibited signs of creepiness but this was the first outward sound of underlying violence and manic manipulation.


Jensen only nodded his head.


‘Good, because I hate all this yelling Jenny. Not good for our relationship. Though I must admit you look mighty delicious in the green bandana. This should be my first official gift to you. Now I am going to remove it so I can feed you something. You have not eaten for more than a day’ said Mark.


Jensen resigned himself to be fed because he really did not know the extent of Mark’s madness and what he would do if he refused to eat. Jensen also needed his energy if he wanted to escape before any serious harm.


Mark was feeding him finger sandwiches with the peculiar look on his face which was in-between of a proud parent, proud pet owner and an obsessed killer all at once. After his food, Mark also force fed him an apple juice worried that it would be doused in drugs Jensen was tempted to refuse but Mark’s weird look sobered him up.


After the dinner Jensen just asked ‘Why? Why me?’


The glee on Mark’s face was more than Jensen could bear, he flinched.


‘Finally the question I was waiting for. But before I answer that can I put your gift back in your mouth, you look too good in it that I cannot resist’ said Mark.


He was clearly not waiting for Jensen’s permission or answer. Jensen felt his mouth being filled with the hated bandana again, knotted tightly behind his head. When he got out of this mad house Jensen was sure a green silk bandana would be his most hated garment.


With a flourish Mark also removed the red satin sheets, exposing his naked body to Mark’s roving hungry eyes.


Mark jumped on the bed right next to Jensen and produced a sharp knife and apple. For all practical purposes it looked like that knife was meant for the apple but Jensen could understand the hidden threat to lay still.


‘Well I like sleeping with beautiful young people. Boys and girls don’t matter’ Jensen felt and saw Mark place apple slices on his naked body.


On his nipples, in a straight line starting from his neck right down to his crotch, his sides, on his balls and on his flaccid dick. One more slice was placed right at his adam’s apple, with every breathe he could feel the apple slice move up and down.


‘I love the power it gives me. These beautiful people lining up to have sex with me for a chance at furthering their careers. It’s such a high to knock these pretty faces off the pedestal with rough, humiliating sex, don’t get me wrong the sex is amazing but the sense of power I hold over them is true aphrodisiac and a high. And the best part is they all believe that they do this of their own volition and not one has ever reported it’.


Mark bent down on Jensen’s chest to pick up a slice of an apple with his mouth and licked after it. Jensen could do little but listen on in horror and squirm at Mark’s ministrations.


‘This is one of the tastiest apple I have eaten. It has the taste of your fear and desperation. So where was I? Yes. Would you imagine the insult when you refused my advances when I was actually very caring towards you? You were one of the youngest I had gone after’.


Another apple slice, another lick.


‘Your refusal burned something in me. I knew you were special and I had to have you. So I pursued you with other shoot requests but that nasty agent of yours thwarted my attempts. He was one of those stupid ethical guys that I won’t put my boys, girls in tricky situations for a commission. He was thorough that even when I managed to reach you directly, he stopped you from taking me as an assignment’.


By now Mark had pretty much eaten and licked all the apples lining his chest, except the ones on strategic points on his nipples, dick, balls and adam’s apple.


‘By then you had moved to college for your bachelor in science and were doing only part time modelling. Then I thought I have more people lining up for a fucking and had a flourishing business so I thought of you as the one that got away. But the stars had other plans’.    


Mark was on his left nipple, he picked up the apple and started licking and biting at it immediately after.


‘A young good looking, too happy a man joined me for the new photoshoot. I knew I must sleep with Jared to reduce his happiness just a little bit. So I started to get close to him and to my surprise he was in a live-in relationship with you. The one I had to force myself to not think about was again in achieving distance. So change of tactics’.


Mark had left his left nipple red and swollen and slightly bleeding. He had now moved to right one.


‘Initially I just wanted to sleep with you. But when I saw in that cute apron, blushing and being nervous I knew sleeping with you was not enough.’ said Mark.


Jensen whimpered as Mark bit extra hard into his right nipple.


‘I had to make you beg, cry, make you mine’ said Mark as he moved onto his adam’s apple. After eating the apple, he gave a particularly vicious bite on Jensen’s neck, which seemed like a mark of brute ownership.


‘From there started my subtle manipulation of Jared, playing on his insecurities, trying to get the two of you to fight, getting him drunk, making sure that you guys just could not talk to resolve issues’ said Mark as he gobbled up the apple slice on his balls.


‘And the result is here we are’ with that Mark’s mouth descended on Jensen’s dick.


Despite the fear and disgust, Jensen could not remain flaccid for long and he felt himself getting hard. Jensen tried to hide his face in his arms, he did not want to see his body betraying him.


He felt relief wash over him when Mark let up from his dick but the relief was short-lived. Jensen saw Mark had opened his fly and was stroking his hard member making it wet with precum.


‘The first time we did it, you were drugged out and you imagined that the oaf was fucking you. But this time there are no drugs in your system and you will have no choice but acknowledge that it is me in you, giving you pleasure and pain’ said Mark as he thrust in Jensen’s barely prepared hole.


Jensen had never felt pain like this ever before. He felt he was being ripped into two, he had been mentally violated and now was getting physically violated. He thought that his pain and humiliation was over when he sensed Mark shuddering and cuming into his anus. But it was not, as Mark started to rub Jensen’s dick, the stimulation forced him to cum.




‘What do you mean that Jensen was drugged?’ said Jared.


‘Correction we suspect he was drugged’ said Misha as he sat opposite the harrowed man in his apartment.


‘The wrapper Jeff found is from a drug called Rohypnol also called as date rape drug. I cannot confirm whether it was administered on Jensen or not till we do the blood test. But we need to have him here for that. From what I have seen so far and what Jeff told me it does not look like just a case of cheating’ Misha continued.


‘Detective Collins. Can you please help us understand what do you think happened, because Jared saw the two of them in the act’ said Chad raising his voice.


‘You can call me Misha. See from the profile I have of Jensen he does not seem cheating types. Not ruling that out though, but even in that case in the past 48 hours he would have attempted to talk to you, drop you a voice mail, text anything. The packing is haphazard he has left behind his essentials like lenses and glasses when he can’t see well without them, plus the missing bed sheets’ said Misha.


‘He tried calling me atleast three times’ said Jared softly.


‘Did you pick up? did you hear his voice at all?’ asked Jeff.


Jared looked at Jeff with bafflement but it was Chad who answered.


‘Umm no. Two of our friends also called him but neither did he answer their calls nor their angry voice mails. Infact I spoke to Mark though’.


‘Jared when you saw Jensen last, didn’t he say let me understand. And instead of yelling Mark’s name, he yelled yours after the intercourse. Also I think you mentioned that he did not appear in his complete senses’ Misha continued questioning.


Faced by these facts and his own admission Jared could only nod his head on all the counts.


Jeff could see how much this was affecting the young man and he decided to break the particular line of questioning.


‘One way to find out if this was a case of cheating. Call Mark and say you need to speak to Jensen right now’ said Jeff.


With shaking fingers Jared placed the call to Jensen’s phone and it straight went to voice mail. He called Mark then after the fifth ring the phone was answered.


Buddy glad you called I am so sorry


Chuck it Mark. I need to speak to Jensen now, if he is with you put him on the phone


He is with me, but I am afraid he is already asleep. The day has been very depressing and harrowing for him.


Wake him up, Jensen owes me this much


I am afraid I can’t do that. Will pass on your message and wait for him to call you


With that the line was disconnected.


The silence was broken by Chad ‘Please tell me I was the only one who heard, no imagined the muffled moans in the background?’


Which was not the case. Jared got up from his seat and rushed to the washroom and upchucked all his dinner. He came back to hear Misha continue speaking in his usual expressionless tone.


‘Jeff I am doing this for you off the books based on your instinct and circumstantial evidence. Frankly the way the case is right now the police cannot take the case seriously because none of the family or friends are in the position to lodge a complaint. But I am placing an alert out for Jensen to look out for him at hospitals, terminals and all. Rest assured I am going to do my best to find something substantial for you soon’ he said.


Misha and Chad left together leaving Jared alone with Jeff. Jared still could not believe any of the facts that Misha presented to them.


‘This sounds like quite a conspiracy theory but I don’t think any of it is true. Because if it was then not only Jensen was raped, I blamed him for getting raped and I also shoved him in the arms of his abuser. I wouldn’t do that. I can’t do that. So I am sure Jensen just cheated and we will talk it out and sort things’ said Jared.


Jeff could guess that Jared was not trying to convince him but rather his own-self because this truth was much more harmful, scary and devastating.


‘I know you would not. We are just trying to rule out the possibility that’s all’ said Jeff. Though in his heart he knew he was just lying rather than face the facts and that despite having doubts about Mark he did not do more.