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Communication failure

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Prompt: Communication failure 


Anders and Mitchell had an indirect way of communicating. They would say one thing, but mean something completely different. It was like a secret language. There was a problem with this way of communicating though: Anders did not understand Mitchell’s secret language and Mitchell did not understand Anders’ secret language.

The people close to them did understand, but nobody wanted to get involved. It was too much fun to watch Anders, master of words, struggle to make sense of the conversations he had with his own lover.

If you did not know them, you would think they did not like each other.


     “Fuck off.” I’m fond of you.

     “I don’t know why I put up with you.” I like you too.


More often than not it seemed like an exchange of criticism.  


     “You don’t wear those gloves with a dress shirt.” You look amazing in a suit.

     “When will you finally shave that horrid beard?” I love how your beard feels against my skin.


Their vehement denial of the relationship between them was especially funny.


     “We’re just fucking.” I think I’m in love.

     “How could a vampire fall in love with a God, it’s against my nature.” I know I’m in love.


There were a lot of insults.


     “You look like a fucking hobo!” I don’t want to care but I do.

     "You’re a manipulative asshole with a god-complex!” What do I need to do to make you care?


Even their so-called apologies were full of secret messages.


     “I don’t know why you stay.” Please stay.

     “I don’t know why I stay.” I will stay.


Which is why their seemingly uncaring declaration was so groundbreaking.


     “You can stay if you want to.”

     “I wasn’t leaving anyway.”


They finally understood one another.