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you think i'm tepid, but i'm misdiagnosed

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Kuroo didn't know what Daishou was playing at, but he knew it was something. During school hours, and most after school hours too, Daishou made it very clear that he couldn't stand Kuroo. He was constantly mocking and teasing him to help show that. But for a couple hours after school, he would come into music room number 3 and request time with Kuroo. 

So Kuroo felt it was obvious that Daishou was up to no good. Of course, no one believed him (except Kenma, who said there was a small chance but ultimately didn't care as long who said it didn't involve them), since Daishou pretended to be a complete angel in front of everyone else. And he was constantly flattering Oikawa- or the grand king, as he liked to be called- so of course he wouldn't do anything about it until Kuroo got solid proof. That damn snake was too good at covering his tracks, though.

He stared at the boy with dyed green hair across the table, who stared back looking unreasonably smug. He hadn't even said anything yet, he hadn't earned that smug look. “So. Is today the day you finally tell me why you insist on bugging me during club hours?”

“Don't worry, i just want to enjoy your… services. Aren't you supposed to be treating me like a princess right now ? I don't feel like a princess.” Kuroo groaned before clearing his throat and throwing himself back into character. The day went as it usually did, Daishou going along with the fantasy happily (probably making fun of Kuroo the whole time in his head, that bastard), and Kuroo sneaking in a few jokes that he knew only Daishou would get.

Although he always complained, and he knew Daishou was up to something, Kuroo had to admit that he wasn't unpleasant company during the club. He even found himself having fun sometimes. And the few occasions when he got a little too close to Daishou and made the other get flustered were great. He loved seeing the usually so well put together boy lose his composure, even if it was only a little. 

“I don't get why you complain so much,” Bokuto said later, when they were all hanging out in the room after all the guests had left. “It's pretty obvious you like hanging out with him. You seem happier with him than most other customers. It's like you're talking to Kenma sometimes.” 

Kuroo blushed bright red and sat up with an offended squawk. “I do not like hanging out with him! It's just the act that we all have to go through with the customers.” Not even Kuroo believed the words coming out of his mouth at this point. As he spoke, he realized that over the course of the past couple months that Daishou had been coming to the club, Kuroo had been looking forward to him coming. The realization hit him like a truck and he flopped back onto the couch, head falling into the lap of Bokuto. “Shit i think i do like hanging out with him.”

“He says, surprising no one,” Daichi said, looking down at Kuroo from the other side of Bokuto, who was still laughing and attempting comfort for his bro by playing with his hair. “We’ve literally been telling you that for weeks now. Glad to see you've stopped being so oblivious.”

“Don't complain about me being oblivious, Daichi, you still haven't accepted that Terushima has a huge ass crush on you.” Kuroo smirked when Daichi blushed.

“Sh-shut up. Yuuji doesn't like me that way, he just said that he looks up to me!”

“Oh my god, you call him Yuuji? How cute and gross.” Bokuto laughed in that too loud way that he always did.

“Well of course he said that he just looks up to you,” Kuroo said, a little louder so that he could be heard over Bokuto. “You don't just tell someone you have a crush on them when they ask. It has to come organically!”

Oikawa appeared seemingly out of nowhere, leaning over the back of the couch to look at Kuroo. “Well what about you, Kuro-chan? D’you ‘look up to’ Daishou? Is that why you're always so defensive about him, and get so annoyed that he's requesting you all the time?” He wiggled his eyebrows, as if he thought that'd make Kuroo spill the beans.

“I don't ‘look up to’ Daishou, metaphorically or otherwise,” Kuroo argued, ignoring Daichi’s annoyed groan at the metaphor. “I just think he might be a little fun to hang out with sometimes. Maybe. And I'm just really curious as to why he keeps coming to request me! And he acts so nice even though he's a asshole all other times. It's confusing. He's so two faced and i don't know which is the real him. Or which one I like better. And part of me wants to spend more time with him outside of the host club, but the other part of me wants to punch his stupid and attractive face. But none of that means i like him at all.”

Bokuto started laughing again, which made Kuroo pout at him angrily. “Sorry, I'm no expert, but that definitely sounds like you're crushing pretty bad, bro.” Kuroo looked up at his bro in shock.

“I am an expert, Kuroo, and I know you're crushing hard,” Oikawa replied, trying not to laugh, and failing for the most part.

“I'm surrounded by a bunch of betrayers. Surrounded!”

“Stop whining,” Kenma grumbled, voice piping up from the other couch. They hadn't even looked up from their game yet. “Just admit to yourself you like Daishou and then tell him so we don't have to listen to your annoying version of pining much longer.”

“Et tu, Brute?” Kuroo grumbled and turned to bury his face in Bokuto’s stomach while Kenma rolled their eyes and went back to putting their full attention on whatever game they had on their phone currently.

“C’mon I thought you were supposed to be smart, Kuro-chan,” Oikawa sing-songed, leaning closer to Kuroo. “It's so obvious that Daishou likes you back. Just tell him, it's easy.”

“It's really not. Not all of us are obvious soulmates like you and Iwaizumi.”

“So you admit you like him?”

“Wh- no. Shut up. There's been too many life shattering revelations about myself for today, let me rest. Wake me up in a year or something.”

The others sighed and resigned themself to the fact that they would not be getting anymore information out of him for now, while Kuroo laid there and continued to overthink the whole situation with Daishou.