I sigh and push away from the table, cringing when the chair makes a horrible screeching noise. Thank God Sam and Dean
were on a supply trip or else I would be feeling Sams' disproving stare and Deans' agitated glare. We had been researching for a
case for days before Dean had finally snapped and Sam decided they needed a break, hence them going on that supply trip. They
had asked if I wanted to go but my big mouth said I would stay back. Sam obviously pointed out that I needed to take a break like
them or else I would crash. I regret not taking them up on their offer to go with them, but I can't really do anything to change it now. I pace back and forth and finally throw my hands up,
"I am taking a break!" I angrily stated and headed to the kitchen, wondering what I can bake. The picture of the mostly bare cupboards and cabinets bounce around in my mind, I groan when I walked through the archway, still not knowing what to make, I jerk open the pantry and glare before slamming it shut and stalking over towards the refrigerator and opening it before staring blankly. The low amount of supplies seeming to laugh at me as I squint my eyes. I throw back my head and huff before an idea popped into my head. My head snaps up as I remember the recipe I had saved on my laptop to try later and giddily run to my room to grab my laptop. I quickly open it and click on the bookmarks, rushing back to the kitchen,
"FOUND IT!", I smirked victoriously as I click on the link. As the link opens and the title 'Slutty Brownies' loads at the top I put it down on the counter.
"Okay, let us see if we have all the ingredients to make you" I mumble to myself. I scan the fridge and a frown comes to my face,
"Dang it, I am out of milk and butter" I grumble sadly. I huff and close the door only to hear a slight clang as something falls over in the fridge. I quickly open the fridge to see nothing had been knocked over or spilled, but what I did see was butter and milk?
"How did I not see you?" I narrow my eyes and tilted my head. I shrug and smile,
"Oh well, at least I can make these slutty brownies now!" I hum happily and grabbed the ingredients out of the fridge and pantry and set them on the counter next to my laptop. I grab the bowl and start throwing in ingredients and mixing the brownie batter in,
"Okay so it has three layers. Cookie dough at the bottom, oreos across the top of that in an even layer, and finally brownie batter on top. Okie dokie I got this." I smile and start humming to myself as I put down the finished brownie batter. I grab the other bowl containing the cookie dough and pour in chocolate chips, as I start mixing a thought crept into my head
'Do you really need to make this?'
'Should I even be eating this?' My arm slows down from the stirring and I could feel my arm fat jiggle. My eyes slowly drifted down to my arms and crawls down to my stomach. My thoughts began to quickly flicker through my mind and I felt tears begin to prick my eyes. Slowly, I put the bowl down and look down, poking at my pudgy stomach. I take a few steps back until my back hits the fridge and I sink down to the floor. I slowly blink and the tears dripped down my face.
'How can you even be a hunter with all this extra weight?' I feel my hands start to tremble,
'Do you think Sam and Dean ever judge your fat bouncing when you are on a hunt?' I bury my head and let out a quiet, gasping sob.
'What do you think Gabriel thinks?, he probably knows you like him and is just not saying anything-' A small flutter of wings interrupted my spiraling thoughts,
"Whoa, sweet cheeks, calm down. Your thoughts are making even me depressed. Why are you thinking like this?" A joking voice said. I look up to see Gabriel looking at me with concerned eyes.
"You okay? Sorry didn't mean to intrude, but I had heard my name and your thoughts and I just wanted to check on you" he said, sliding down to sit next to me. I open my mouth but only a sob escaped. I slap my hands over my mouth and shook my head as I start crying harder.
"Hey now, it's okay" Gabriel said as he pulled me into his arms and rocked me back and forth.
"You are fine, no one thinks that of you. You are perfect. Your soul is bright, sure it has splotches here and there, but it's pretty much perfect. You do not slow anyone down. You are such a huge asset to the Winchesters." He whispers as I gradually calm down to sobbing hiccups. He looks down at me with a small, sad smile,
"I know you are feeling terrible right now, you doubt yourself. You don't think anyone could ever love you back... But, I do." He looks away with a small blush. My eyes widen as I stare at him in shock.
"You like me? even with me being over weight and my face splotchy?" He chuckles a little and looks at me from the corner of his eyes
"Yeah, I do." I look down and stare at my hands that were in my lap. I heard him take a deep breath before he lifted my chin and quickly pressed his lips to mine and just as quickly pulls away.
"I know you will not automatically feel better, and I know you will have ups and downs and feel worthless. But, I will be here for you" He glances around and his gaze settles on the unfinished baking. He smirks,
"Hey, I can be your slutty brownie." he says while wiggling his brows. I just throw my head back and laugh.