“I mean…it could be worse.”
Five heads turn towards Jungkook, who was biting into an apple. The youngest and Hoseok had arrived earlier that morning and had learned the news when they saw Namjoon coming out of the hotel.
“Seokjin hyung is the best man for his ex, whose fiancé’s best man is his other ex,” Hoseok exclaims. “How could it be worse?”
Yoongi frowns just grows. “Hey, I’m more than just an ex. I’m his best friend.”
“Yeah well, Namjoon doesn’t know that. And now he probably is going to tell Taehyung that something happened when it didn’t and it’s all my fault because I started this stupid fake boyfriend thing instead of talking to my friends like a normal human being- “ Seokjin rambles.
“Okay that’s enough self-pity,” Jimin states. “None of that is going to happen. It won’t right, guys?”
“You guys are all being a bit ridiculous,” Yoongi says, getting up from the chair. “Will you let me talk?”
Everyone turns to the groom, who had his arms crossed.
“Taehyung knows the truth, he trusts me and Seokjin. My relationship will be fine. We still talked last night, and Tae said he will talk to Namjoon. Everything will be okay. So, please relax! Welcome Party is today, and you all are my groomsmen. I need you extra cheery.”
“Doesn’t solve Jin hyung’s problem though,” Jungkook points out. When Seokjin gives him a look, the younger just shrugs. “He’s in love with Namjoon and it’s going to be super awkward-“
“Can I talk to Yoongi,” Seokjin says suddenly, looking towards the trio. “Privately.”
The three of them look at each other in confusion but eventually decide to exit Seokjin’s hotel room. Once the door closes, Seokjin finally lets out a breath.
“Ignore them, they just are being protective,” he starts. “If Taehyung is willing to rest Namjoon’s suspicions, then everything else will go perfectly. You don’t need to worry at all.”
“Hyung, you know it’s not me that I’m worried about.”
Seokjin bites his lip. The situation was not ideal in any way, but if he kept thinking about Namjoon’s presence, it would ruin him completely. He needed to be kept busy and the best way was to fully participate in the wedding festivities. These were the most important moments of Yoongi and Taehyung’s relationship. The last thing he wanted to do was ruin it.
“I know you and the others are worried,” he continues. “But please trust me when I say that I want to only celebrate you and Taehyung. If you let me just have this weekend to do that, I promise maybe sometime in the future we can talk about feelings and garbage. But let me have this. Please.”
Yoongi looks at him with a half-smile. “You know I’m here for you whenever you need to talk.”
Seokjin smiles back. “I know, thank you.”
There’s a noise heard outside the door and Seokjin can hear Jimin shush Hoseok and Jungkook. Both Yoongi and Seokjin just look at each other and let out a chuckle.
“Oh no Chungha said she needs some help with her microphone, I better go see. Hyung do you want to come with?”
The hotel door opens immediately, Jungkook rushing in. Seokjin wonders where the younger even got his extra keycard. The orthopedic surgeon races over to Yoongi, looking a little crazy in the eyes. Behind him, Hoseok and Jimin are pretending to talk to each other casually, as if they weren’t listening behind the door.
“Chungha is performing?”
Having what was basically a mini-concert by one of the top female solo-artists in the country is what made Seokjin realize the influence that Yoongi and Taehyung had. It was strange to walk into the ballroom of the hotel and be surrounded by highly esteemed officials of the entertainment industry. Seokjin cannot even recognize some of the people, just watching in awe at how beautiful everyone looked. People would probably pay millions to be in his position right now.
He eventually finds his table near the front of the stage. A couple of kids were dancing, something they had prepared specifically for this event. Seokjin finds himself smiling at the parents recording them with the phones.
“They’re adorable aren’t they?”
Seokjin turns to the side and sees a familiar-looking woman arrive and sit down next to him. He glances at her nameplate, even though it was not needed.
“You forgot who I am already?”
He shakes his head and lets out a smile, ignoring his heart racing. “How could I forget you? Beautiful as always.”
Hyeri lets out a laugh. “Oh and you, Seokjin, are charming as always. How have you been? I have to say, I was not expecting you to be here.”
“Honestly have to say the same with you but yeah I’ve been good,” Seokjin lets out hesitantly, but his mind is distracted. If Hyeri was sat here, then Namjoon and Mina must be arriving soon too. He tries to glance at the other name cards on the table, but the font is too small and far away for him to read it.
Hyeri notices the glances. “Don’t worry, this table is only for Yoongi’s side only. I was just placed here because there was no more room at the Kim table over there.”
Seokjin looks over and true to Hyeri’s words, the Kim table was bustling with kids and all of Taehyung’s groomsmen. His eyes try to scan for familiar brown eyes, but they are nowhere to be found. Get a grip, Seokjin tells himself.
“He’ll show up, probably spraying on extra cologne or something.”
It’s like this woman knows what goes on inside his brain. “Right.”
“Yeah?” he says, but he’s just pouring himself some wine, wondering when the troubling trio would show up. He catches glimpses of Yoongi and Taehyung flitting in between tables, greeting everyone. They were smiling and looked in love.
“Permission to tell you an unwarranted story about my life?”
Seokjin glances up and lets out a smile, getting some energy from seeing the grooms happy. “Permission granted.”
Hyeri lifts her wine glass and lets Seokjin pour some into it. “When Namjoon and I decided to not get married after Mina was conceived, there was a lot of backlash from our families.”
“So, I’ve heard,” he muses, wondering where this story would go.
“Mhmm…there was a lot of fighting between my side and Namjoon’s family about it and it really wasn’t a great added stressor to my time in medical school. I was gunning for the most competitive specialty in the country and it didn’t help that I was also pregnant plus had two families on my ass.”
“I imagine it was difficult, the entire process.”
“Namjoon and I both cut our families off for a while,” Hyeri states, and Seokjin is stunned, realizing Namjoon never told him that. “It was the best decision given the circumstances, but God it was hard. The entire nine months of pregnancy was absolute hell. The only reason I made it through was because of Namjoon who was constantly there for me. It was unconventional, maybe. But he became my best friend and to this day he still is.”
Seokjin watches as Hyeri takes another sip of her wine, the liquid making her red lips stand out more. “I know he can be stupid and clueless sometimes, but I also know how much he cares and the lengths he will go to for people. He’s also crazy smart and somehow managed to pass that gene on to our daughter.”
There’s applause heard and both Hyeri and Seokjin see the kids have finished performing. A different entertainer, another kid, goes on stage and starts singing her tune sweet and soft. Seokjin thinks that maybe he wants to cry.
“He’s a good man,” Hyeri states, without looking at Seokjin, eyes still focused on the stage. “I can see he cares about you a lot and vice versa. I’m telling you that as the mother of his child, he is worth it.”
“Nope. Let me finish.”
“Point is,” she continues. “I don’t know what happened between you two, but it’s affecting him terribly. At least talk to him.”
Seokjin twiddles with his fingers under the seat before glancing back over at the Kim table. Yoongi and Taehyung were standing next to it, joking with all the groomsmen. Namjoon was there, dressed in a crisp cream suit, hair slicked back. He looked good, smiling and laughing with everyone else, the deep dimples popping out as he listens to Yoongi say what seems like a joke of some sort.
“He seems fine,” Seokjin says, shifting his attention back to his own table. “I think it’s best if he and I just steered clear of each other.”
“He’s related to the person your best friend is going to marry. Plus you guys work together. You cannot be like ships in the night. He’s here to stay.”
Seokjin is walking.
Where? He has no idea.
Ships in the night, huh. What a weird analogy.
“People who meet for an intense moment and then part…much like ships who greet each other with flashing lights and then sail off into the night,” Seokjin reads out loud from his phone to nobody in particular. He was outside the hotel with his feet dipped in the pool, which was illuminated. In the distance, he sees a couple in the hot tub whispering to each other.
Hyeri’s right. Namjoon and he weren’t like ships in the night. Seokjin was more like the Titanic and Namjoon was the glacier he hit, breaking him into pieces.
Okay, maybe he had too much to drink.
The Welcome Party should be wrapping up soon, Seokjin can hear the music had been turned off, the only evidence of a party was the lights streaming out from the side windows. He had managed to slip away sometime between dinner being served and the DJ announcing the dance floor was open.
He meant it when he said he wanted to make this weekend about Yoongi and Taehyung, nobody else. That’s why he had to remove himself, stop himself from going to Namjoon’s table in a drunken stupor and demand to speak.
Seokjin grabs the wine bottle next to him that he took from his table inside and chugs it until the bitter taste floods his brain. He hears his phone ring next to him and ignores it, focusing on his feet in the pool.
He doesn’t know how long he stays out there, just sitting and thinking.
It was nice, calm and peaceful.
“WE WERE LOOKING FOR YOU,” he hears and turns to see Jungkook coming toward him. Jungkook also looked really nice, dressed in a baby blue button-down and black slacks. It was different from his usual attire of either scrubs or sweatpants. Seokjin gets out of the pool, a bit unsteady, so he can go and tell Jungkook that he looked all grown-up. Somehow in between getting out of the pool and reaching for his shoes, he manages to trip and fall.
The first thing he registers is red. So much red, all over his arm. He lifts it carefully, wincing at the sight.
Jungkook starts running, coming to wear Seokjin lay. “Hyung, fuck are you okay? Come on let me help-“
“I’m fine it’s just a little bit of blood, I scratched myself,” he says, forcing out a laugh. “I’m fine.”
The orthopedic surgeon frowns. “Just let me check you out inside okay?”
And Seokjin is in no position to say no, following Jungkook back into the hotel. At first, Jungkook leads the way to the ballroom but with one glare from the elder, Jungkook just sighs and goes to the elevators.
They go to Seokjin’s room and Jungkook gets to work, regardless of Seokjin’s complaints that he was fine. “Fuck, how did you cut yourself this deep? We need to go to a hospital nearby and get stitches.”
“Absolutely not,” Seokjin says, ignoring the younger’s concerns. His mind still feels a bit fuzzy from the alcohol he had drunk, all he wanted was to sleep. “And don’t tell anyone about this.”
Jungkook bites his lip and as if on cue, Jimin and Hoseok enter his hotel room. Seokjin is once again wondering how they have an extra hotel key.
“God, how did you do this?”
“Hyungie are you okay? How bad is it bleeding Jungkook?”
“I don’t know he stopped letting me touch his arm and he’s drunk-“
“I am not drunk,” Seokjin states but the other three ignore him, talking with each other as they decide what to do.”
“Should we take him to a hospital and get him X-Rayed? I need to see if he has a fracture or not. He’s guarding his wrist, might be a fracture on his distal radius.”
“You can’t tell that from him guarding his arm.”
“Exactly why we need to get him to a clinic or an ED.”
“Do we call Yoongi? Or Taehyung?”
“No,” Seokjin pitches from his spot on the bed. They all turn to him with various amounts of worry. “I’m not going to worry them on their special weekend. Please understand.”
“Okay…” Hoseok says eventually. “We won’t tell. But you need to go get some stitches in a sterile environment. “
Jungkook crosses his arms. “We aren’t budging on that. Come on.”
Jimin and Seokjin raise their eyebrows in shock, exchanging looks. Maybe they did underestimate Hoseok and Jungkook.
He gets back to his hotel room late with 6 stitches in his arm and an ace wrap covering them. It turned out there was no fracture or sprain, just a bit of bruising and cuts from the area where he fell. Seokjin was discharged with care instructions for the stitches and a prescription for an ointment that he would pick up tomorrow at the village either before or after the wedding.
Seokjin had just changed into sweatpants and a t-shirt when he hears a knocking on his door. He furrows his brow, wondering who would come at this time of night. Maybe Yoongi or Taehyung found out and came to check on him.
To his surprise, he opens the door to Namjoon. The cardiologist was still in his cream suit, but the blazer was hanging loosely over the younger’s right shoulder.
Seokjin holds on to the handle of the door a bit tighter but outwardly tries to maintain nonchalance. “Hey.”
“Can I-?” Namjoon makes a motion to go inside and Seokjin thinks that’s dangerous because all he can think about is the last hotel room they were in. Where Namjoon whispered pretty French words in his ear, where Seokjin was almost going to confess, where they-
“Yeah, sure. Come in.”
The air is tense, the obvious elephant in the room glaring at them. Seokjin watches Namjoon shuffle inside, looking uncomfortable. He asks him to sit, going to grab a chair when Namjoon lets out a gasp of shock.
“What happened to your arm?”
Seokjin had forgotten about the bandage entirely, his mind a bit preoccupied. “Oh, it’s nothing, just fell on the rocks near the pool. Got a couple of stitches that’s all.”
The younger gets a crazed look in his eyes and immediately rushes to Seokjin’s side, Namjoon’s cologne immediately overwhelming Seokjin’s senses. It was so familiar and Seokjin wants to die. He can’t do this, he really can’t.
“When did you…?”
“Hour or so ago.”
“Was there any fracture or a sprain?”
“Do Yoongi-hyung and Taehyung-“
“No, and I would prefer they don’t know.”
Seokjin is trying, he really is trying, but Namjoon is so close. He is so close and Seokjin misses him and he loves him and he kind of wants to cry.
Namjoon finally moves back and Seokjin can breathe again. “It’s funny.”
Seokjin looks up. “What is?”
“I met you when you were putting stitches on Mina,” is the response he gets. Namjoon runs a hand through his hair. “Kind of like a full circle.”
He’s saying this is the end. “Yeah, I guess.”
He gulps at the way his name forms in Namjoon’s mouth. He could write poetry about how beautiful his name sounded in the younger’s voice. Hearing the younger say his name makes him want to go call his parents and thank them for naming him Seokjin.
“I talked to Taehyung and I just…,” Namjoon starts but then stops. He huffs out a breath. “It’s really hard to wrap my head around all this.”
Seokjin waits, letting Namjoon continue.
“Why would you say you don’t know who Agust D is when I recommended his music?”
He wasn’t expecting that question. “What was I supposed to say? Yeah, he’s my ex-boyfriend? Why would I expose him to a random fan?”
“But I’m not a random fan.”
“Yeah well, I didn’t know that,” he snaps, but regrets the tone of his voice immediately. “I’m sorry.”
Namjoon sighs. “I’m sorry too. For being an ass this past month and in Paris. We promised we would communicate if we were upset with each other and I didn’t follow through with that.”
“It’s okay,” he starts, a little carefully. “We kind of blurred the lines with everything we were doing, and it probably wasn’t a good idea.”
The younger looks a bit shocked at the response but recovers quickly. “I meant what I said though.”
“Which part?” Seokjin asks, telling his heart to shut up and stop beating so fast.
Namjoon lets out a smile. “That you are one of the coolest people I’ve met in a long time. I really really miss our friendship. I don’t know about you, but I have been having a super shitty month and it may have to do something with not being able to fight you in Scrabble anymore. I just wish we could start over again and just be…I don’t know…proper friends…. without any fucking around.”
And that hurts. It feels like a metaphorical knife had been stabbed in Seokjin’s heart. Here was the man he loved, telling him he wants to be friends again. He missed Seokjin, yes, but he didn’t miss the intimacy they shared in bed or the hand holding or cuddling. He missed Seokjin being his friend.
He clenches his fist, pushing his nails into his palm until it hurts.
The plan was to make it through this weekend and somehow manage to avoid Namjoon at all costs when they got back home. What the hell was he supposed to do now?
“They know. Everyone knows.”
Namjoon furrows his brow. “What?”
“Hoseok, Jungkook, and Jimin knew the entire time we were faking it but didn’t say anything,” Seokjin continues blurting. Anything to distract from Namjoon friend-zoning him.
“They knew?” the younger exclaims. “Why did they keep quiet?”
Seokjin shrugs. “They were being good friends. We talked about it though so no hard feelings.”
“I mean…I guess.”
He ignores the reply. “Yoongi and Taehyung found out recently too.”
“What?! Why they didn’t say anything to m-”
“I’m saying this because,” Seokjin responds, “You don’t have to pretend anymore. I know I roped you into this mess, but-“
“We can actually start over,” Namjoon says quietly. “We can do that now, can’t we? Since we don’t need to pretend to hate each other or be exes.”
Seokjin bites his lip, forcing his tears to stop from coming out. He instead lets out a smile. “Yeah, we can be friends. Like normal now.”
The younger bursts into a grin, his dimples out on display. Before he can process it, Namjoon comes forward and wraps himself around Seokjin, pulling him into a hug. “This is amazing! God, you have no idea how much I missed you.”
And Seokjin just smiles, his entire body still reeling from the feeling of being touched by Namjoon. The hug lasted only for a second, but Seokjin feels the remnants on his body, burning him.
“I missed you too.”
“You have to be fucking kidding me.”
Seokjin continues adjusting his tie in the mirror, annoyed that it looked crooked. He huffs and pulls it out, ready to do it again. “I’m not. He wants to be friends.”
“I just think that’s not going to end well.”
“Yeah, well I would rather be friends than whatever the hell we were doing before.”
He starts tying his tie again, only for it to hang loosely. He lets out a groan of frustration before Hoseok just sighs and walks over. “Here, let me do it.”
The psychiatrist was already ready along with Jimin and Jungkook, the pair who were lounging on one of the beds in their hotel room, scrolling through their phones. The wedding was in an hour and a half at the fortress, but they were meant to meet up with Yoongi beforehand.
Hoseok tightens the tie, smiling as he finishes. “See, not that difficult.”
“Thank you, now let’s get going,” Seokjin says, addressing the two on the bed.
“Yeah, Yoongi hyung is probably freaking out,” Hoseok adds.
“I am definitely not freaking out,” is what Yoongi says about twenty minutes later. They were at the penthouse where Taehyung and Yoongi were meant to stay after the wedding. They both had been using another hotel room until last night when they had separated per tradition.
“You kind of look like you’re freaking out,” Yoongi’s brother points out. It was strange to see the man without his child cradled in one arm, but Seokjin figures it was best not to add a crying baby to the already stressful atmosphere.
“I am not…that’s just a little sweat.”
“Doesn’t seem like it,” Jungkook says.
“What are you stressed about?” Seokjin asks, trying to be sympathetic.
Yoongi sighs, realizing that it was pointless to keep pretending. “I haven’t seen Taehyung since yesterday and I hate that, okay? I always talk to him even when I’m away in another country. This is the first time I haven’t seen or heard from him in over 24 hours and he’s literally in the same building!”
“Oh my god.”
“That is so fucking adorable.”
“Also, kind of embarrassing.”
“It’s okay, I bet Taehyung feels the same way,” Seokjin replies, glaring at his friends. “It’s just tradition. In like five minutes, you will never have to do this again, okay?”
The groom bites his lip. “I’m scared.”
“Of what?” Hoseok asks. “Taehyung loves you and you love him.”
Jungkook nods. “And you both will be surrounded by people who also love and support you.”
“Plus, it’s a beautiful sunny day outside. Just enjoy your big day hyung,” Jimin adds.
“What they said, “Seokjin says with a smile. “You got this Yoongichi.”
Yoongi looks at the room filled with his groomsmen and lets out a hesitant chuckle. “Let’s go do this thing.”
[mood music-Sweet Night by V]
A guitarist plays lightly while someone sings quietly, humming. The wind blew gently, the seawater smell spreading across the Fortress. The flowers that had been decorated meticulously this past week hung above them in threads, some petals falling off and dropping on the stage and the guests.
Yoongi and Taehyung stand in front of each other smiling wide and holding their hands together as the singer continued a soft ballad. Yoongi starts crying half-way through the first chorus and Seokjin would not have noticed it from his position if it weren’t Taehyung reaching up to wipe the elder’s tears.
The ceremony continues and Seokjin is shocked they went through it all, considering Taehyung was Atheist. Yoongi was not, so it was even sweeter to see Taehyung willing to go through all this for his fiancé.
Seokjin was on the brink of tears throughout, but when the couple starts reading their vows, he really feels himself melt.
“Taehyung,” Yoongi starts with a sniffle. “Sorry…I can’t see the paper because-“
Laughter echoes from the crowd and Taehyung chuckles as well. “It’s okay, we have plenty of time.”
The elder takes a breath in.
“Tae, you and I met when we were children and now even though we are adults, you still carry that child-like innocence. Every day with you, I feel like I’m young again like we are just running around your uncle’s farm. You bring so much warmth into my life and have helped me look at the world in a better light. You are kind, intelligent, and beautiful. I am grateful to even stand here opposite of you and say these words. I promise to treat you just as you have treated me, with compassion and respect. I love you Kim Taehyung and will always love you.”
Water fills Seokjin’s eyes just from hearing the adoration and love in Yoongi’s voice. He can see that he isn’t the only one, Taehyung biting his lip as more tears fall down his face.
“I should’ve gone first, “Taheyung mutters, wiping the streaks on his face. “Always have to one-up me.”
“Go ahead,” Yoongi replies with a smile, squeezing the younger’s hand.
“Min Yoongi,” Taehyung starts, finally looking up. “For so long, I projected my victories to everyone and only showcased how happy I was, blocking out my true feelings. You have somehow taken a sledgehammer and smashed through every wall I had up, beat up the prison guard I had appointed, and unlocked the door to my heart.”
Seokjin makes the mistake of looking to the side of Taehyung just at that moment and his eyes meet with Namjoon, who stood opposite him. He was dressed in a similar suit to Seokjin’s, but Seokjin thinks he looked 100 times better. The younger seemed to also be emotional but didn’t tear his eyes away from Seokjin. In the background, Taehyung continued.
“You have taught me so much, given me so much. Every day with you feels like an adventure and I miss you whenever you aren’t with me.”
Seokjin thinks his heart is going to beat out of his chest, his tears falling freely now as he looked at Namjoon.
“I thought it was going to be hard, to stand up here and say what I truly feel for you because it seems impossible. How would I even begin to describe how much you mean to me? But now that I’m up here, I realize I don’t need to say it because you already know that I love you. I love you and that’s all that matters.”
A tear falls down Namjoon’s cheek, Seokjin fighting every urge in his body to go and wipe it. The younger turns to Taehyung quickly and Seokjin does the same.
“That’s all that matters Min Yoongi. I will always love you and I can’t wait to yell at you about leaving the lights on in our house and I can’t wait to adopt 10 more dogs and mostly…I can’t wait to grow old with you. I can’t wait for the rest of my life with you as your husband.”
“With the power invested in me, I declare you-“
Before it could be even said, Yoongi had reached forward and pulled Taehyung into a kiss. The wedding crowd erupts in cheers and whistles. On cue, flower petals fall from the ceiling in a bunch. With the wind, it looked even more stunning, like the petals were swirling around the married couple.
The sea seemed to agree with the celebration, waves crashing louder, as if they were clapping as well.
Later, Taehyung and Yoongi cut their wedding cake in front of everyone, making sure to smear some on each other. Seokjin watches fondly as the two of them kiss again, not caring about their cake covered faces.
Their first dance is beautiful as well and Seokjin thinks he has never seen two people who are more in love with each other. Other people start joining the dance floor and Seokjin catches sight of Jungkook dancing with Yoongi’s mother while Hoseok and Jimin are together. He sees glimpses of Yoongi’s other groomsmen as well as Taehyung’s join too, grabbing their dates.
“You not going to dance?”
Seokjin looks to his side and sees Namjoon had appeared. He had cleaned up from earlier, his eyes showing no evidence of having cried. The brown still brought Seokjin some comfort though and he feels himself get warm.
“Prefer the sidelines,” he replies with a smile. “Better not.”
“The Seokjin I know would never put himself on the sidelines,” Namjoon says. He extends out a hand. “Come on.”
Seokjin stares at the palm and then back to Namjoon, who tilts his head toward the dance floor. He doesn’t know what comes over him, maybe it was something about weddings like Jimin had said. He presses his hand in the younger’s, watching his face light up.
He’s led to the dance floor where a soft slow song was playing. Seokjin feels a pair of arms wrap around his waist and he allows his own to fall delicately on Namjoon’s shoulders. They move slowly, Seokjin still not making eye contact with the younger. He instead manages to catch the sight of Taehyung and Yoongi across the room, both of who have their eyebrows raised at him. Yoongi whispers something to Taehyung but the younger doesn’t look convinced.
Seokjin just smiles and mouths a, “I’m good.”
He leans back and finally looks into Namjoon’s eyes. Maybe it was the lighting or maybe it was the music clouding his mind, but Seokjin finally gets some clarity.
It is hard, loving Namjoon. Loving someone who doesn’t love him back. Unlike Taehyung and Yoongi or Hoseok, Jimin, and Jungkook it wasn’t a shared bond. This unrequited love was all his, his alone.
It’s still love though, isn’t it, even if it was not shared by the other person? So what was he afraid of?
Love is like that, he figures. It would be wonderful if it worked out.
But all is not lost if it didn’t.
“I didn’t know you could dance,” he says with a chuckle as he allows Namjoon to twirl him. “Where did you learn this?”
The cardiologist shrugs. “I have been to prom.”
“Please tell me you didn’t get lessons for a high school dance.”
The younger laughs and it’s the most beautiful noise in the world. He forgot how much he missed it. “Hey, it was worth it, in the long run, wasn’t it?”
Yeah, it was. “You haven’t broken any of my toes like the date I took to high school, so yeah definitely.”
“Speaking of, how is your arm?”
“Good, it doesn’t even hurt.”
They both are silent for a few moments, just allowing the music to guide their movements.
“You doing anything before the reception tomorrow?”
Seokjin shakes his head. “Why?”
“Want to explore the area? It’s my first time here and heard there’s a lot to do here.”
“Yeah, I saw some of the village this week but there are a couple more towns I noticed on the way to the hospital yesterday. I wouldn’t mind exploring,” Seokjin replies, feeling the corners of his lips turn up. It would be nice to spend time with the younger again.
“Okay, then I’ll come to your room first thing in the morning? I’ll text you.”
“Yeah that should be g-“
Both Namjoon and Seokjin break apart and see a small figure standing near them. Mina, dressed for the occasion in a frilly dress, was tugging on Seokjin’s blazer. He smiles at the younger. “Hey! You look so pretty.”
She was still looking warily at the two adults but eventually caves. “I picked it myself!”
“And you did a great job,” Namjoon says approvingly. “Want me to take a picture?”
Mina nods and then looks at Seokjin. “Can I take one with Dr.Kim?”
He almost corrects her but realizes he’s come to love the endearing way Mina said it. “I would be honored to take a picture with you.”
They both smile as Namjoon takes a picture of Seokjin squatting next to the child.
“Daddy you too!”
Seokjin reaches for the phone so he can take one of Namjoon and Mina, but Mina pushes him back to his spot. “No, I mean all of us! Oh, look, Mommy!”
Hyeri appears out of nowhere, champagne glass in her hand. She was talking to an elder woman who Seokjin didn’t recognize. She turns to look at the group, questioning.
“Mommy, can you take a picture of me with Daddy and Dr.Kim?”
The plastic surgeon raises her eyebrow looking between Seokjin and Namjoon, who had no answer. “Sure, give me the phone Joon.”
Namjoon hands the phone over and positions himself on the other side of Mina. Mina then wraps each arm around both their necks. Namjoon is surprised and the shocked expression makes Seokjin laugh, teeth on display. Mina follows suit, giggling and Namjoon ends up laughing too.
The flash goes off.
There are three knocks on his door.
Seokjin glances at the clock on his phone. It was barely 10 am, and he would not need to be back until nearly seven that night to get ready. Hesitantly he gets up from his stool and walks over to the door to open it.
“Hyung! Hi! You weren’t answering your phone I was scared you were still asleep.”
Seokjin hates how good Namjoon looks so early in the morning. His hair is fluffy, not styled for once, and he’s wearing a simple black sweater paired with a silver necklace. His blue jeans were ripped carefully, but nothing too revealing.
“Did you just call me hyung? You never do that,” He finally manages to say after raking in how good the younger looks. Technically the cardiologist has called him hyung several times, but it was usually in bed.
Seokjin pushes that thought away.
Namjoon stares back for a second before shrugging. “I’m testing it out.”
“Right, well,” Seokjin replies with a hesitant smile. “Fine. Let me get my coat. But I like it better when you just called me Seokjin.”
Namjoon’s eyes go wide in surprise before bursting into a bigger grin. Seokjin ignores the blood rushing to his ears at the sight.
“Shall we get going then Seokjin hyung?”
They take a taxi to a big market in the center of the nearby town, Seokjin oddly feeling calm. The realization last night at the wedding really did help him with his anxiety surrounding the feelings he had toward Namjoon.
“Which looks better,” Seokjin mutters as he fingers through another shelf of clay figurines. He hadn’t managed to pick something out something to buy last time he was shopping because of his indecisiveness.
Namjoon comes over and stands next to him. “Why are all of them naked?”
Seokjin sighs. “It’s art, you wouldn’t get it. Plus, they’re wearing that little scarf. They aren’t totally naked.”
“I just think it would be better if they didn’t have their dicks out.”
He feels his cheeks flame up but manages to stay calm enough to smack Namjoon lightly. “You know what, I’ll take the one that has absolutely nothing on.”
Namjoon is laughing with his mouth open, his beautiful white teeth showing as his face scrunches. Seokjin wishes he could take the scene and capture it. Maybe frame it and hang it up on his wall.
Namjoon finally calms down and watches as Seokjin pays for the naked figurine.
“I’m hungry, let’s go get food hyung.”
Seokjin nods and they walk over to a little noodle place after asking directions from a local. As they sit down in a booth, Seokjin glances over the menu, thankful for the English translation underneath the Korean, his reading still a bit rusty.
Both of them are hungry from the walking they had done so far and ended up gobbling down their food in silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable though, and Seokjin finds it peaceful. The town was relatively quiet, with more people walking than taking cars. He hears the birds chirping and people chattering outside as they passed.
“Where do you want to go next,” Namjoon asks, his mouth still filled with meat. Seokjin finds it cute.
He raises an eyebrow. “Why the rush?”
“I have so many places that we have got to see. I made a list.”
Seokjin smiles and forces his heart to stop thinking about Paris. “Well, we have a month’s worth of catching up to do. Might as well see all the sights we can.”
“So do you have your best man speech prepared for tonight?”
Seokjin fiddles with the straw in his drink. “It’s in a few hours, of course, I have it prepared.”
Namjoon hums. “I think mine is going to better.”
He looks at the younger, who had a smug look on his face. “I didn’t realize best man speeches were supposed to be a competition.”
“Hyung come on. You know how I have a way with words. Mine is going to better.”
I know you do. Seokjin stops in his tracks and points a finger at Namjoon. “You’re just trying to scare me. I know mine is better.”
Namjoon chuckles and wraps his hand around Seokjin’s finger, pushing it down. “Yeah, I’m just messing. I bet they’ll love both of ours.”
He tries not to think about the younger touching him. “They’ll still love mine better though.”
It’s quiet between them as they walk further along the road, Seokjin thinking. They walk in silence to a park, passing by runners with their dogs and children playing around.
“You and Taehyung must be close if he made you his best man. I don’t think I can even stand my cousins.”
Namjoon looks over and raises an eyebrow, beckoning Seokjin to continue.
“I promise I’m not trying to get your speech out of you.”
The cardiologist smiles and looks in the distance as if remembering a distant memory. “Remember how I told you after Mina was born, lots of family came over to help?”
Seokjin nods, trying his best not to think of the context of when Namjoon told him the story.
“He was the cousin I was talking about. I think he was in a bit of a gap year after university, still unsure of what to do and decided to come and help me. He could have done anything with that free time to help his future career, but he chose to leave home and come to America to help his cousin who had a baby out of wedlock.”
He watches Namjoon continue walking, following the path that was set in the park that they had just entered. “Taehyung and I became really close then. I remember the days where we would spend hours on the floor watching shitty anime or arguing over board games. Sometimes just drinking cheap beer and listening to each other talk while we got Mina to sleep.”
Seokjin smiles, feeling more warmth come over him. “Taehyung seems like a really good guy.”
“He is. I have to admit I’m a bit protective over him,” Namjoon says, kicking a rock in his pathway. “That’s why I got a bit hysterical when I found out Yoongi hyung was your ex.”
He laughs. “A bit?”
“Okay, a lot. I’m sorry though.”
“It’s fine,” Seokjin says, digging his hands into his pockets. “I’m the same with Yoongi, I want him to be happy always.”
“Taehyung said you guys met in high school?”
He nods. Usually telling this story would hurt, but Seokjin finds himself looking back at the time fondly. “He was my neighbor back in Boston. I helped him get used to America and we just became best friends.”
The relationship aspect is left out of the story, but he knows Namjoon is thinking about it.
Surprisingly the younger replies with a chuckle. “Yoongi hyung was basically part of our family. I moved to Chicago when I was pretty young, so I don’t remember much of my time living here. Mostly us screwing around as most kids do. I lost touch with Yoongi hyung for a while until he and Taehyung became roommates.”
“The farm that Yoongi mentioned, was it your father’s?” Seokjin asks.
Namjoon nods. “Taehyung’s father and mine are brothers. My dad really wanted to get us out of the country though and was taking some computer science classes course at a university nearby so he could land a job that would take him to America. Taehyung’s father ended up taking over the farm when we moved.”
“Bet you never stopped hearing that story when you were being ungrateful growing up,” he laughs, thinking about his own experiences as an immigrant child.
“Why else do you think I became a doctor?”
Seokjin feigns a shocked surprise. “You mean to tell me you didn’t go into this career because you love science and want to help people?”
They reach the end of the trail and were back at the entrance of the park. Namjoon rolls his eyes. “Come on, we have to go to our next spot.”
The next spot turns out to be a trek. They climb up a hill, Seokjin complaining most of the way up.
“Do you want me to carry you?”
Seokjin feels his ears burn again for the millionth time today. He’s your friend, calm down. “So you can bring it up for the rest of our lives? Absolutely not.”
With that, he just keeps going up, making sure to not fall over the weeds and rocks in the way. Namjoon just laughs and follows behind him.
They finally reach the top after an hour or so of climbing. To their right was a ledge, a perfect place to put down their things and sit down. Namjoon and Seokjin’s legs hang over the edge, dangling in suspension.
The view was beautiful, the sun slowly setting on to the city. The sea could be seen in the distance, glimmering before them. Seokjin leans back, eyes taking in the beauty of nature before him.
“It’s like the sun is bathing in the sea,” Namjoon whispers, as if talking would ruin the moment.
Seokjin hums. “It kind of looks like egg yolk.”
The younger laughs. “It kinda does.”
They sit there in the silence after that, watching the sun slowly melt into the city. It’s a comfortable silence, Seokjin allowing his mind to drift to other thoughts. He glances to the side at a point, seeing Namjoon was focused on the nature before him. He looked so genuinely happy that Seokjin finds himself smiling.
Namjoon was beautiful.
The sun’s rays hit the man gently, creating a delicate glow. Looking at him, like this, Seokjin gets further confirmation that he was okay with being friends with the cardiologist. They had spent the entire day together today and not once did he feel the urge to confess his feelings to the younger.
He keeps thinking of Taehyung’s vows. “I realize I don’t need to say it because you already know that I love you. I love you and that’s all that matters.”
There are different types of love in the world, he realizes. One wasn’t superior to another. Love was love. Namjoon may not have loved him in the way Seokjin had hoped for, but it was love, nonetheless.
Honestly, he was lucky. How lucky was he to have met someone like Namjoon? How lucky was he to fall for a man so golden inside and out?
“I’m lucky,” he says out loud, causing the younger to turn to him with a questioning look. Seokjin just smiles, finding it reaching his eyes. “I’m lucky to have met you Namjoon-ah.”
It’s the first time he’s called him that and Namjoon raises his eyebrow. “Namjoon-ah?”
Seokjin shrugs. “Testing it out.”
Namjoon looks at him carefully, as if searching for something in Seokjin’s eyes. The sun makes its final descent, the shadows moving further down Namjoon’s face until it was completely gone.
Lights decorate the entrance to the tented area behind the hotel. It was a dark night, but strings of lights and candles were everywhere, creating the perfect atmosphere under the moonlight. Tables were scattered, each with guests dressed for the evening.
Seokjin sees Yoongi and Taehyung standing in the front where a stage similar to the wedding was created. Guests keep going up to take a picture with the grooms and he’s happy to see that everyone is laughing and in a good mood.
“You ready for your big speech?”
Jungkook slides in the chair next to him, drink in hand. Seokjin nods. “I think Namjoon is going first but I’ll be after.”
He notices the way the younger’s eye twitches at the mention of the cardiologist. “How was today, you know…the whole exploring thing.”
Seokjin lightly shoves the younger before sighing and wrapping himself around Jungkook’s arm. “Oh, Kookie. It was so much fun, a lot of fun.”
The orthopedic surgeon tilts his head. “Hyung, you have to be careful though. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
He leans back up, stretching as he does. There’s a bit of motion in the front and Seokjin sees that Namjoon was heading toward the stage, probably to start his own speech. Their eyes meet and Seokjin finds himself grinning, giving the younger a thumbs up.
Namjoon notices the signal and places a hand over his heart. Thank you, he mouths.
Jungkook swings his head from Namjoon to Seokjin several times before his eyes rest on Seokjin. “Are you sure about this?”
“I love him,” Seokjin says, and it’s a bit freeing. “And he does too, just not in the way I had hoped. That’s okay with me because it was an honor to fall in love with him at all.”
“I just don’t want you hurt.”
“It’s love Kook-ah,” he replies with a chuckle. “It’s always going to hurt. But it’ll hurt more if I push him away. I want to be friends with him.”
Before Jungkook can respond, the MC announces that everyone should settle down and find their seats so the speeches can start. Namjoon is introduced just as Hoseok and Jimin find themselves to Jungkook and Seokjin’s table.
The man clears his throat before letting out a grin. “Good evening everyone. Firstly, I would like to admit that I am very nervous to make this speech. As the people who were sitting at my table can testify, you can literally smell the fear. I don’t think I’ve been this nervous since I was six and Taehyung dared me to jump in a pool naked and then ran away with the clothes.”
Seokjin laughs along with the rest of the wedding crowd, watching as Taehyung blushes in embarrassment.
“As most of you might know, I’m a cardiologist, so I’m kind of an expert at all things heart related,” Namjoon continues. He turns to the couple of the hour, both who sat at the table in front of him. “And as an expert on the heart, I can say that I have never seen two people more in love. Yoongi-hyung, thank you for loving our Taehyungie so dearly and passionately. You have always been like family, but I am glad it is official. Welcome to the crazy Kim clan, no takebacks.”
Yoongi grins, his gummy teeth showing as he interlocks his fingers with Taehyung.
“And Taehyungie, you have been more like a little brother to me than a cousin. You have been there for me always and I want you to know that there is nobody happier than me to see you flourishing. You are glowing dude! I’m so happy for you, for both of you, to start your life together. To Taehyung and Yoongi!”
Seokjin hears everyone clapping around him, a couple of whistles going around as Namjoon goes to hug the two grooms. He watches fondly as Namjoon presses a kiss to Taehyung’s forehead.
Just as soon as Namjoon ends, the MC calls his name.
“You got this,” Hoseok whispers, pushing him forward.
“Good luck hyung!” both Jungkook and Jimin say at the same time.
He just nods and makes his way up to the stage, feeling bubbling in his stomach. It had been a while since he did any public speaking and he feels the nerves getting to him. He takes the mic from the MC and looks out into the audience. He sees his best friend trio to his left, all smiling up at him. He sees Yoongi’s parents also looking happy to see him standing up here. On his right, the grooms look at him with tenderness and warmth, ready for him to start.
And to his center sat Namjoon, Mina on his lap. They both are making finger hearts at him, Mina grinning wide. Namjoon was looking at him with affection and Seokjin finds himself returning it.
“I’m also a doctor, but not the most eloquent speaker. If I start rambling about Yoongi’s Pokémon collection that he had until we were seniors in college, feel free to cut me off,” he says with a grin.
Yoongi covers his face with his hands as everyone starts laughing.
“As Yoongi’s best friend, I’ve seen him go through so many phases. You know the leather jacket phase, the astrology phase, and his ‘I am a professional photographer’ phase.”
He sees Taehyung grin, poking Yoongi who looks like he was denying it all.
Seokjin takes the champagne glass from the stand next to him. “These all came and went by, just like clouds in the sky. The only two times I’ve seen him unwavering was with his career and with Taehyung.”
He turns to Yoongi and Taehyung, who both watch him intently. “Taehyung-ah, I know we are still getting to know each other, but I feel like I’ve known you my entire life. You bring that feeling to people, this warmth, this sunshine. I spent this past week with you, and I couldn’t stop thinking about how Yoongi couldn’t have found a more beautiful and kinder person to spend the rest of his life with.”
Taehyung looks a bit teary-eyed, so Seokjin shifts a bit over to turn to his best friend. “And to Min Yoongi, my best friend. You have continued to show how compassionate and persistent you are with the ones you love and care for. I can only wish you the best for the future and hope both of you have a blessed marriage. I know I’m speaking for everyone when I say you both show us that true love is out there and that it is real. Here’s to Taehyung and Yoongi and here’s to a wonderful future filled with unconditional love and happiness.”
He lifts his glass just as everyone starts clapping. Without thinking, he finds himself glancing at where Namjoon and Mina sat.
He sees Namjoon clapping but catches the younger mouthing something to him.
The party wraps around midnight, everyone slowly drifting out of the tented area. Most people had their flights booked for tomorrow afternoon after the Goodbye Brunch and needed to wake up early to pack. From the looks of it, most people were in too much of a drunken state to do it tonight.
Seokjin finds himself wandering through the groups of people he had met this weekend, making sure to let everyone know it was nice to meet them. He gets plenty of compliments about his speech and overall, he is happy.
“I still can’t believe you mentioned the Pokémon thing, I hate you,” Yoongi says a while later. They were both sitting down at a table, having some of the leftover champagne while they watched the event planners slowly fold up the chairs.
“Now your husband and the entire entertainment industry knows you’re a weeb,” Seokjin says with a chuckle. “You can’t hide things like that.”
“Are you calling my husband a weeb?” Taehyung walks toward them, reaching down to kiss Yoongi on the lips. He rises back up and presses his hands onto Yoongi’s shoulders, massaging them.
“Yeah he is, can you believe it, baby?”
“I can because you kind of are a big weeb.”
“Hey! Appreciating Pokémon for the artistic excellence and beautiful storyline does not mean-”
Seokjin laughs into his glass and the couple looks at him, Yoongi rolling his eyes a little bit.
“Anyways,” Taehyung says with a chuckle, “What time is your flight tomorrow hyung?”
“12:30,” Seokjin says, downing the rest of the drink and then getting up. “I better go and say bye to a couple of other people in case I don’t see them tomorrow at brunch.”
“You can Namjoon at work when you go back,” Yoongi mutters and Taehyung snorts.
“What did you say?” he replies, a little distracted, too busy scanning the area for a familiar tall man.
“He said we shall see you tomorrow,” Taehyung says with a smile. “Thanks again for a great speech. It was wonderful.”
Seokjin smiles, “Of course, goodnight you two. Don’t go too hard tonight!” He winks and walks away, ignoring Yoongi’s whine.
As he hits the clearing, he catches sight of Hyeri and Mina sitting on one of the outside patio tables next to the hotel. It was where he and Yoongi had sat the night before the Welcome Party. Hyeri catches sight of him and waves him over.
When he reaches them, he sees that Mina was reading a book, a French learning book to be exact. It looked familiar and he guesses it’s one of the books that Namjoon had picked up when they were touring in Paris.
“Studying so late at night?” he asks the child who looks up from her book and grins at the sight of him.
“Hey Mina,” he replies, hugging her before she goes back to sit in the chair adjacent to her mother. “Hyeri.”
“That was quite a speech Seokjin,” Hyeri says as she rakes her fingers through her daughter’s black hair. “It was beautiful.”
“What time are you leaving tomorr-“
“Mommy…” Mina interrupts. Hyeri looks down at her daughter.
“What is it, sweetheart?”
“What does this mean? ”
“Have you tried breaking it down? I don’t want to give you the answer right away.”
“You know French too?” Seokjin asks, impressed.
Hyeri laughs. “If you are around Namjoon long enough, you’ll learn it. I don’t know why he adores it so much. He’s a romantic I guess.”
“Hmm,” Seokjin replies, shrugging it off. “Anyways, what were you saying Mina, sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“It’s okay Dr.Kim!” the child replies. “It’s a quote by some old guy so it doesn’t matter anyway.”
“Mina, come on you know you don’t give up when it’s hard. Say it out loud and then we can break it down okay?” Hyeri says, encouraging.
Mina nods. “On n'aime que ce qu'on ne possède pas tout entier.”
Seokjin freezes, recognizing it immediately. It’s like his brain doesn’t process it, but then Mina is saying it again and again and Seokjin is transported back to the hotel room in Paris when Namjoon whispered the same line to him. If it was anyone else saying it, he wouldn’t have recognized it, but Mina is so much like Namjoon in the way she spoke, even in her French, that Seokjin gets immediate confirmation that it was the same.
“Who said that,” Hyeri says, looking at the book in Mina’s hands. “Marcel Proust…this quote’s from his novel La Prisonnière. Hm, such a weird quote to put in a beginner’s book.”
“It has quotes from a lot of authors,” her daughter replies. “I think to help us understand stuff better. But what does this mean Mommy?”
Seokjin stays silent, watching as Hyeri takes the book and go to the answer page at the back. Every second feels slowed down, and he can feel his fingers twitching.
“Oh here, I found it.”
“Read it! Read it!”
Hyeri looks a bit confused at first but clears her throat.
"We love only what we do not wholly possess."
Seokjin is fine.
He is fine. He was just admiring the sea at night time. Taehyung was right, it was way more beautiful with the moon shining down on to the black water below. The waves crash harder and Seokjin feels his body go numb.
Seokjin turns. Namjoon walks over to him, face a little contorted with worry. He comes closer and Seokjin finds himself stepping back.
The action doesn’t go unnoticed and Namjoon scans the elder’s face. “Hey, what’s wrong? Why are you here? It’s getting cold, we should go inside-“
“I don’t want to,” Seokjin replies curtly, forcing the words out as he turns back to look at the sea. He can't bear to look at Namjoon.
“Hyung, talk to me, what’s wrong? Did something happen?”
“Why don’t you tell me?” he snaps back. “Did something happen between us?”
Seokjin turns back to face the younger, seeing that he had gone pale, the moonlight shining on his face. The waves crash harder.
“I don’t know what you are talking about, but if I did something that was wrong I’m sorry.”
Somehow that pisses of Seokjin even more.
“Oh don’t act so clueless right now,” he says and Namjoon backs up a little at the tone of Seokjin’s voice. “You knew what you were doing, let me just fucking go around like an idiot!”
“If you’re talking about the fake boyfriend thing, we both agreed to that,” Namjoon says, brows furrowed.
“I’m not talking about that, I’m talking about this thing that started months ago when you came up to me in a bar and we slept together. And we just kept sleeping together when all we were supposed to do is act as boyfriends and then fucking Paris happened-“
Namjoon has his mouth slightly ajar. “I already apologized for being an ass then, I really am sorry. I know I was being rude, and I genuinely am sorry.”
“I’m not talking about the…the fucking breakup. I get why you did that.”
“We love only what we do not wholly possess,” Seokjin finally says, his voice tiny. He repeats it for emphasis. “That’s what you said to me that night, isn’t it? In French.”
Namjoon stills, his eyes going wide at Seokjin’s words. It’s enough confirmation. “How did you-“
“Mina’s French learning book,” he replies with a gulp. “The one you bought for her in Paris.”
“I’m sorry, fuck, I’m sorry,” the younger says and Seokjin can see the tears in his eyes, which he doesn’t get. “You were never supposed to know, I swear I was just so blissed out that night and I thought you would never know what it means anyways-“
“How the fuck could you do that?” Seokjin replies, and now he’s angry again. “When you know how I felt, how could you even say that to me? I don’t care if it is in French. Am I joke to you?”
Namjoon wipes his face. “I swear, it was a moment of weakness. It won’t ever happen again, I won’t ever bring it up. I like where we are, I like our friendship. Please.”
Seokjin bites his lip, not knowing what to do. The younger seemed genuinely sorry, but a feeling of shame still washed over him. “I just wish you told me you knew earlier. It would have saved me a lot of embarrassment. If it helps I never wanted you to find out either, but I guess I am obvious.”
Namjoon opens his mouth, his brows furrowed but Seokjin doesn’t let him talk.
“I’ve been trying too! I really have, especially this entire weekend. I like our friendship and I’m sorry I had to go and fuck things up.”
“Hyung what are you even-?”
“I’m trying okay! I really am and none of our friends are convinced that I am over it, and they’re not wrong but I am trying! It’ll take time, but I don’t want you to ever feel uncomfortable ever, I am sorry I did in the past. I will be fine though, okay? You don’t need to worry.”
“Um,” Namjoon says. “What?”
“I’m just saying,” Seokjin says, a little exasperated. “I wish you never found out and I wish you told me that you knew-“
“Knew what, hyung?” the younger replies softly, stepping a bit forward so that he meets Seokjin’s gaze.
Seokjin blinks. “Don’t make me say it.”
The cardiologist shakes his head. “No, I think you need to say it because what you are saying is not adding up to what I have been thinking, and I am very confused right now.”
They both just stare at each other, Seokjin trying to see if Namjoon was lying, scouring his face for something. “I-“
“What is it hyung,” Namjoon says, his voice desperate now. “What did you think I knew?”
“I don’t want to say it, dammit.”
“Well, I need to fucking know what you think I knew because I’m about to go crazy!”
“I just said I don’t want to tell you! You already fucking know anyways, why the fuck are you trying to push it out of me?”
“I’m not trying to push it out of you what the…Just tell me what you think I know?”
“That I am in love with you,” Seokjin finally exclaims. “You fucking knew, you absolute dick! That I was in love with you and instead of telling me like a normal person you don’t feel the same way you said fucking around was fun and we shouldn’t do it anymore!”
Well, he said it. It was out in the open. Namjoon already knew, but now Seokjin had screamed it loud enough for the sea to hear as well. He turns away from the younger, facing the cliff.
Namjoon still hasn’t said anything and Seokjin thinks that their friendship might have just ended right then and there. He made it weird, screamed the confession and then called Namjoon a dick right after.
The waves continue crashing into the rocks below, following the moon’s direction. From the distance, he can hear shouts of the event planners packing up the last tables and the tent.
I love you.
Nobody can hold it against him anymore.
“I love you and I’m sorry,” he says again, taking the control in his hands again. This was his love, his alone. He didn’t need Namjoon to be there for him to love the younger.
“I love you and I promise I will never bring it up again,” Seokjin says, still not looking at the younger. He looks at the moon and it brings him a sense of calm. “You have been a good friend to me, and I would like to continue being friends, but I understand if you don’t want to. “
It’s silent again, and Seokjin finally turns around to make sure Namjoon hadn’t run away or something.
He’s met with Namjoon…crying?
The younger had tears falling down his cheeks and Seokjin immediately walks over. “Hey, don’t cry. I said I’ll be okay. You don’t have to hold this burden anymore. It’s okay.”
He reaches up to wipe the stray tears on the younger’s face when Namjoon catches his wrist. Seokjin watches the action happen, confused. Namjoon brings Seokjin’s hand down and presses it against his chest. Seokjin can feel the thrum of Namjoon’s heart beating.
He looks at Namjoon who just sniffles before placing his other hand on Seokjin’s so that Seokjin’s hand was surrounded by Namjoon’s. “On n'aime que ce qu'on ne possède pas tout entier. We love only what we do not wholly possess.”
Seokjin is still confused, looking up at Namjoon again, who just looks down at the overlaid hands on his chest. He looks back at Seokjin. “Can you feel how heart my racing is right now?”
“It’s because of you. For you. You have that effect on me.”
The rhythm of Namjoon’s heart increases and Seokjin can feel every beat.
“When I said that quote, I was thinking about me, not you. I was thinking about how I was breaking every rule you had set up in the beginning. I fell in love with you Seokjin, fell absolutely devastatingly in love with you.”
Namjoon continues and Seokjin stares at the brown eyes, looking.
“You made it clear you didn’t want anything since the beginning, but you were just so, charming. So charming and beautiful and intelligent and funny and caring and you were good with Mina and…I fell in love with you. But you were never going to be mine, not really. That’s why I said that. That night was the closest I got to confessing.”
Seokjin thinks his brain isn’t processing half of what is being said.
“I admit, I get jealous easily,” Namjoon chuckles, taking the hands off his chest and interlocking their fingers together. They fit a bit crooked, but Seokjin feels the familiar warmth that Namjoon always brought with him spread. “I was planning to break it off eventually, especially after Paris because I realized I can’t just force myself and my feelings on to you forever. Then your friend showed up and I got angry and lashed out, I’m sorry.”
“What-“ he finally coughs out. “What is even-since when?”
“Remember when you beat me in Scrabble?”
“I beat you several times, so no.”
“That’s not the…when I asked you to come with me to Paris?”
“When you spilled toothpaste on my shirt,” Seokjin says, eyes still on their interlocked fingers. Namjoon hums and then walks closer, their foreheads touching.
“You looked at me while we were both brushing, and I just knew. I just knew I was in love with you.”
Namjoon loves him.
He loves Seokjin.
He wasn’t in this love alone.
“I know you’ve said it like-um,” Seokjin stutters out. “Like a thousand times in the past minute, but I just need to know if you’re like legit because I’m still not processing-“
Namjoon pulls up their interconnected hands, pressing his lips to Seokjin’s right hand. “I love you.” He then goes for the left, kissing that too. “I love you.”
Seokjin watches as Namjoon keeps repeating it and he thinks he could never tire of hearing those three words come from the younger’s mouth as he feels more kisses being peppered on to his knuckles. “I love you so fucking much.”
Namjoon looks up and grins. “Nope, you don’t get to stop me this time. I’m going to say it all the time now. I’ve held it in for way too long. I love you.Je t’aime. Aishiteru. Wo ai ni. Ti amo-”
“Oh my god.”
“I can keep going, I know it in at least five more languages.”
Seokjin takes one look at the man before him and realizes that it was real. He wasn’t dreaming, this was real, this was now.
Namjoon and he are in love.
He steps forward until their shoes are touching. A hesitant smile pops out and Seokjin presses his forehead against Namjoon’s. He can hear the younger’s breathing, slow and steady. Carefully, he unlocks his fingers from the younger’s and wraps his arms around the neck of the man who loves him.
“I love you,” he whispers, his breath fanning over Namjoon’s lips. He’s afraid the waves are too loud and that Namjoon doesn’t hear it. So he says it again, for good measure. “I love you. I love you so fucking much.”
“I love you too.”
He doesn’t know who pushes in first, but Seokjin closes his eyes immediately. Namjoon loves him and was kissing him, was kissing him like there was no tomorrow. He finds himself smiling into it, opening his mouth and letting the younger in.
Namjoon detects the smile and pulls back. “What’s so funny?”
Seokjin’s chest is so full he thinks he might burst. “Nothing, shut up and kiss me.”
The younger lets out a high pitched laugh and Seokjin rolls his eyes but Namjoon pulls them back in. Seokjin feels arms wrap around his waist, pushing him closer and he can only wrap his arms tighter. They were so close and were so in love and Seokjin thinks that this might be the best day of his life.
They keep kissing and kissing, and Seokjin marvels in the way that he can taste the champagne in Namjoon’s mouth, the way his entire body is running on endorphins because of the intimacy. The moon seems to shine brighter, creating a spotlight on them.
Seokjin is in love.
In the distance, people were heading back into their hotel rooms, calling it a night. Taehyung and Yoongi were probably in their penthouse suite playing with Holly and Yeontan. Jungkook and Jimin were probably messing with Hoseok and he was probably more endeared than annoyed. The event planners were probably done cleaning up now, ready to go back home to their own families.
Seokjin was kissing the man he loved. Kissing a man who loved him back, who wanted him.
The kiss becomes a little desperate, a bit bruising, as if they were both trying to make up for the time lost. Namjoon pulls away again, with a chuckle. Seokjin finds himself heavy breathing, blood rushing south at the sight of Namjoon with swollen lips.
“Do you want to go back to my room? We can talk more and stuff if you want?”
Seokjin raises an eyebrow, leaning back. “You want to just talk?”
Namjoon grins. “Do you have something else in mind?”
He hums, feeling brave. Seokjin puts his mouth next to Namjoon’s ear. “I think we both have done enough talking for tonight, haven’t we?”
Time passes slowly at night, Seokjin thinks.
It passes slowly as Namjoon pushes Seokjin onto his hotel bed, their clothes slowly getting discarded. Seokjin pulls Namjoon by his tie, bringing him into another searing kiss. “You realize how fucking good you looked this entire weekend?”
The younger chuckles as he unbuttons his shirt. “Me? Have you looked in the mirror? The amount of cold showers I had to take these past couple days is a bit ridiculous.”
Something stirs inside Seokjin at that, knowing that he was the reason that Namjoon was so flustered, was the reason Namjoon was in love.
“I love you,” he says again, his voice rough.
“So I’ve heard.”
Seokjin pinches him and the younger yelps. “Hey!”
Thunder roars and a flash of lightning is seen, causing both of them to jump. The hotel window is soon heard with the soft sound of rain pouring. He finds it oddly calming and is thankful they made it inside before they got drenched. This suit would not bode well in the weather.
Said suit was mostly on the floor now, both Namjoon and Seokjin shuffling out of their slacks. Seokjin looks up to see Namjoon looming over him, the raindrops and moon creating shadows on his body. He looked beautiful, ethereal, and Seokjin cannot believe this was really happening.
Namjoon smiles affectionately, moving a strand of hair away from Seokjin’s eyes. “I love you.”
“Joon-ah,” Seokjin whispers, eyes locked on the younger. His hand reaches upward and Namjoon kisses it gently, then each of his fingers, pressing kitten kisses to them.
The gentleness is gone within a second as he strips Seokjin of his underwear, removing his own too with a swift movement. Seokjin is embarrassingly hard, but he can see he’s not the only one.
“You are so fucking gorgeous,” Namjoon pants into Seokjin’s mouth as he leans down and presses his forehead against the elder’s. Seokjin watches the rise and fall of Namjoon’s chest. “I got so jealous, thinking about someone else having you, being with you. It drove me fucking insane.”
Seokjin bites his lip, desire coursing through him as shifts to pull the younger down for another kiss. It was dirtier this time, both of them opening up immediately. Seokjin sucks on the younger’s tongue, his mind just wanting more and more.
He finally pulls away, trying to catch his breath. Their eyes meet again and the stare is electrifying, Seokjin’s entire body burning hot under Namjoon’s gaze.
“I’m yours Namjoon. Nobody else’s. Yours only. I love you,” he responds. Namjoon is still breathing heavily above him, watching his lips move as he talks.
“You’re mine,” the younger finally lets out. “You’re really mine.”
“I am,” Seokjin stutters, feeling himself getting overwhelmed with desire at Namjoon saying that. “Now fuck me like I’m yours.”
Namjoon watches him hungrily and is quick to pull him into another kiss. “What do you want hyung?” he whispers.
The elder leans forward and kisses Namjoon. “You baby. I want you.”
The damn breaks and Seokjin feels his body move on its own as he opens his legs a bit wider, allowing Namjoon to have access.
He feels his face burn at the gaze. “Stop staring at me like that and fuck me already.”
“Forgot how cranky you get when I go slow,” Namjoon says with a chuckle, reaching for the side table for his wallet. He pulls out two packets, tearing them open with his mouth.
“Why do you have lube and a condom in your wallet?” Seokjin asks, watching as Namjoon rubbed the blue liquid in his fingers, warming it up.
The younger stops rubbing and slips the condom on. “I used to have a fantasy of us randomly hooking up at work.”
Seokjin feels blood rush to his ears. “That is definitely not allowed.”
“A man can dream,” Namjoon says with a laugh. “Are you ready?”
He leans forward and pecks the younger’s lips before laying back down. “I’m ready. Now stop making me impatient.”
Namjoon smiles then and for a second Seokjin thinks his heart rate goes up. But he isn’t able to think about it much because Namjoon lunges and kisses him like he’s dying like Seokjin was a glass of water in a desert. The elder moans into the younger’s mouth and licks against his tongue. He feels his body tingle and heat up as fingers press against his rim, slowly opening him up as Namjoon continues to kiss him, pressure increasing. It was amazing how good Namjoon was at this, Seokjin thinks. The way he had memorized the elder’s body, knowing exactly would make him keen.
“Joon-ah I need you, now,” Seokjin begs, his cock straining and begging for attention after the fourth finger in him. Namjoon stares for a moment and gives one last kiss before leaning back.
Before Namjoon enters him, he feels a kiss at the junction of his neck. It brings a tingle throughout his entire body, and he barely has time to register before the younger is inside him. When Namjoon pushes into him slowly, Seokjin moans and pushes back, his head falling back on to the hotel pillow.
“Shit, hyung you’re so hot, fuck-“
“Joonie, you can move,” he replies after a minute. He tries not to think much about the nickname that came out of his mouth, blaming it on the hormones raging through his body.
Seokjin squeezes his eyes tight as Namjoon builds up a pace, and he tries to move his hips in a way that follows. Namjoon seems amused at this and presses in harder with his thrusts and Seokjin wonders if he is even going to be able to walk to the airport tomorrow after this.
“God you are a dream Seokjin,” Namjoon whispers into his neck, his fingers tightening around the elder’s hips.
Seokjin lets out an exhale and reaches for the younger’s ass, digging his fingers into the flesh, pushing Namjoon’s cock further into him, causing the younger to moan as well. “That’s hyung to you.”
“So you do like it when I call you that.”
Namjoon bites his neck at that, making Seokjin hiss. “Come for me hyung.”
“Ask me nicer, and maybe I-“
Seokjin lets out a strangled noise as Namjoon shifts and brushes the sensitive area. “Would you like to rethink that?”
Before Seokjin can answer, Namjoon grabs his cock and jerks it while he still moves around inside Seokjin. He feels his body go numb as his orgasm spills all over the bed.
“Fuck baby, you’re so beautiful,” Namjoon murmurs in his ear, his breathing slowing as he comes as well.
Seokjin collapses watches as Namjoon gets up to throw away the used condom. The younger goes into the bathroom and grabs a towel that he flings at Seokjin, who busies himself in trying to clean himself up despite his entire body feeling like mush.
They both settle back into the bed after cleaning up, pulling their boxers back on. He feels Namjoon pull into him, wrapping two muscular arms around Seokjin’s chest.
“Have I told you that I love you,” Namjoon says with a hearty laugh, his chest rumbling and causing Seokjin’s entire body to feel it.
Seokjin snuggles further into the cocoon of blankets and Namjoon, closing his eyes. “A couple of thousand times only.”
“That’s far too little.”
“Well we have plenty of time,” Seokjin hums back. “Goodnight, I love you.”
He feels a kiss to his forehead. “Goodnight baby, I love you too.”
Getting with Namjoon was amazing, being able to wake up and call this man his boyfriend was amazing, being able to say that Namjoon loves him was amazing.
What was not so amazing was the screech that was let out by Jimin when he and Namjoon walked downstairs for the Goodbye Brunch the next morning, hand in hand.
“I fucking knew it! I knew it would happen! Jungkook you owe me fifty bucks!”
Seokjin frowns. “What exactly did you bet on?”
Jungkook pulls out his wallet just as Hoseok sighs, rubbing his forehead. “They were convinced you guys would get back together, for real this time.”
“I said you guys would be together by Sunday, Jungkook said Saturday,” Jimin exclaims, counting the five tens that Jungkook had handed over.
Namjoon giggles. “Well actually, if we are speaking specifics. It did happen Saturday night.”
“Though it did carry over to this morning,” Seokjin adds with a grin. “So I don’t know how you want to split that-“
“Ew gross hyung!”
“Hey! I had to hear about your sex lives for so long!” Seokjin snaps at Jimin, but he’s only half-serious. “So you guys are going to hear about mine.”
“They really don’t need to though,” Namjoon points out.
Seokjin is about to reply when he hears another pair approach them. Hear is the correct word because he hears a “FUCKING FINALLY!” before he actually sees Taehyung and Yoongi walk toward them.
The couple were grinning and Seokjin feels himself blush at the attention of all his friends.
Yoongi rolls his eyes. “Oh so now he’s shy, but he wasn’t shy when describing how much Namjoon meant to him.”
“Aw babe, you had a crush on me?” Namjoon says with a grin. “That’s adorable.”
“I hate all of you,” Seokjin mutters, but he’s smiling as he watches everyone chat idly, his hand still intertwined with Namjoon’s. Even when Namjoon moved a bit away to talk to someone else during the entire Brunch, he was never far.
“Dr.Kim! Is it true?”
Seokjin turns to Mina, who looked up at him curiously. “Is what true sweetheart?”
“That you and my Daddy are boyfriends again?”
And he figures that one day when Mina was older, she would know the truth of his and Namjoon’s love story. Knowing her, she would probably laugh at them and say they were silly for thinking that something like a fake-boyfriend would ever stop real feelings from coming out.
Right now though, he just looks at her and squats down, reaching her height. “We are.”
She furrows her brow and the action is very much Namjoon, Seokjin finds himself trying not to coo at the younger. “Do you love my Daddy?”
A shadow comes over the both of them and he looks up and sees that Namjoon had walked over, eying them curiously. He smiles at the younger and goes back to looking at Mina. “I love him a lot.”
“Will you take me to Chuck-E-Cheese’s again?” Mina asks, but she’s already smiling and Seokjin knows he’s won her over.
“We can go to Chuck-E-Cheese’s every weekend if you want to,” he replies.
Mina immediately yells in happiness, jumping off her chair and into Seokjin’s arms. Seokjin catches her and pulls her up, swinging her around. He finally manages to just hold her, her tiny legs dangling.
Namjoon has a wide grin as he sees them messing around. He kisses Mina on the forehead and then Seokjin on the cheek. “The two people I love the most.”
Seokjin doesn’t respond, probably because his entire body feels like it’s going to explode from joy and happiness. Namjoon looks a bit confused though and tilts his head. “You okay?
He looks around, looks at Taehyung and Yoongi holding on to each other tightly as they said goodbye to each guest personally. He looks at Jimin, Jungkook, and Hoseok who all looked like they were in the midst of debate of whether ketchup should be allowed on eggs. He looks at Hyeri who winks at him, nodding approvingly.
He looks at the child in his arms, who had rested her head against his chest. Then he finally looks at Namjoon, the man who he was in love with, whose warm brown eyes shined bright in the warm sunlight.