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Quality Time

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They had been planning this for nearly a month, and now the day they’ve been anxiously awaiting has finally arrived. 

Lately they’ve both been so busy that they barely had any time to spend with each other. It would be so much easier on both of them if they could just share a bed like a proper couple and spend every night together, but they can’t. If word of their relationship were to get out, it would cause quite an uproar, and Eren can only stay so late before people start asking questions.

Levi’s mindset is I’m the captain, fuck whoever has a problem with it, I’ll shout it from the rooftops if I damn well please. Maybe someday he’ll even be lucky enough to have the honor of wearing his ring. But, for Eren’s sake… it’s safer this way. For now.

It had been a difficult month for everyone in the Corps, but this week in particular had been especially grueling. It left the pair at the end of their sanity and they both desperately needed every single second of quiet time and relaxation as they could squeeze out of their stressful schedules. 

And, for Levi, there’s no better stress reliever than getting his ass absolutely fucking reamed by his brat. Or vice versa, if that’s what Eren’s in the mood for, either way would be fine by him.

As luck would have it, there’s a holiday coming up that would leave them with a mostly empty schedule for once. They’d have an entire afternoon at their disposal. 

That’s why Levi was even more pleased about his morning meetings ending early. Now he has more time to spend alone with Eren than he originally planned. He didn’t care who noticed how uncharacteristically cheerful he was during the chilly ride back to headquarters.

He returned on horseback, frozen to the fucking bone, and though his arrival was early, the timing was perfect. As he walked his horse up to the stable, he found Armin hard at work shoveling hay into the feeding troughs in each stall. Armin greeted him with a knowing smile and didn’t even need to be told to send for Eren. All Levi had to do was look at him, and Armin nodded and went on his way.

He made the long walk back to his quarters in the castle, his mind filled with all the things they’d do today. 

First, he’ll light the fireplace and brew a pot of tea, not the usual, but from his secret stash. He keeps the absolute highest quality tea leaves hidden away for special occasions, which are generally only shared with one specific person.

After they finish their tea, he’ll get a big, soft blanket, cuddle in front of the fireplace with Eren, catch up with each other, talk about their day, all the happenings they’ve missed, what they’ve been doing while they’ve been apart, whether there’s been any good gossip, and so on and so forth. Stay close to each other, maybe kiss a little, you know, all that quality time stuff.

Then he’s going to fuck his brains out. 

Though not necessarily in that order. He’ll see how things play out.

Levi was just starting to make himself comfortable when there came a knock at his door. 

“You don’t need to knock, you know,” he says, waiting for Eren to come in. He left the door unlocked, and even if it was locked, Eren has his own key, so why did he still bother with knocking? 

Levi isn’t in a position to open the door anyway, having just slipped off his trousers to change into something better suited for lazing around in for the next few hours, not to mention something easier to remove while doing that lazing. He’s bending over, still in the process of pulling on his favorite linen pants when the door opens behind him. He doesn’t turn around, he already knows who it is.

“C-captain Levi, sir!” says the person standing in the doorway in the most panicked squeak of his name he’s ever heard, and he’s heard a lot of panicked squeaks of his name in his lifetime.

Alarmed by the unfamiliar voice, he whips his head toward the source of it to see something he never expected to see in his room: a girl . A blushing young female cadet in full uniform, stiffly saluting the floor. Levi groans internally at his mistake. He knew Eren never knocked, but who else could it have been? 

Either way, it isn’t Eren who he just treated to a great view of his ass.

“Someone better be on fire or getting eaten by titans.” Levi sighs, resuming the task of pulling his pants up and loosely tying the drawstrings at the front. “Preferably both.”

Whatever it is this girl wants, surely it can’t be good. He knows he shouldn’t be rude, she’s probably just following orders, vaguely recalling some old saying regarding messengers and whether or not one should shoot them. He doesn’t remember which it was, but right now he’s leaning towards shoot.

“Sir?” she questions, confused by Levi’s blunt response to her arrival. She asks without daring to look up again, no matter how much she wants to. The captain may be small, but he’s built like a brick shithouse. It’s more than tempting. The problem is that he’s just as scary as he is sexy. On top of that, there are rumors that he’s spoken for, and if the gossip is true, his rumored beau is fifteen meters tall and eats people. Eyes on the floor it is.

“I’m waiting.” Levi reaches for the shirt draped over the back of his chair, paying more attention to getting dressed than the girl at the door who hasn’t explained her reason for being there in the first place.

A familiar voice breaks the silence.

“Putting on a little show, Captain?” Eren peers over the shoulder of the cadet in the doorway with a smirk, raising a teasing eyebrow at his topless and clearly irritated captain. “How scandalous.”

The cadet in the doorway instantly feels her soul leave her body via a powerful shiver that runs up her spine.

Seems like there might be some truth to the gossip after all, because standing so close behind her that she can feel the heat radiating off his body is the captain’s alleged beau.

Surely it must be the beau. It has to be. Captain Levi told her she didn’t have to knock, which she found strange and more than a little disconcerting, and now it’s obvious that it wasn’t her that the captain was expecting. Who else, if not the captain’s paramour, could get away with talking to their commanding officer like that, let alone have blanket permission to enter his private quarters without knocking? If that wasn’t proof enough, the captain’s state of undress sealed it.

Yeah, it’s definitely the beau and now she’s trapped between him and the captain. Only now does Levi look in her direction, and she’s thankful that he doesn’t seem to be looking at her, but at the person standing behind her.

What should have been a simple task has now become some sort of terrifying standoff between the three of them. Levi is half-naked. There’s a girl in his bedroom. The boyfriend is here. The girl still has to deliver her message from the commander. That girl and her message are both literally and figuratively standing in the way of their precious alone time.

This must be what it’s like to come face to face with a titan. Now she’s regretting her choice of joining the more exciting Survey Corps instead of the boring Military Police. This would never have happened if she was safely inside the interior, as far away from the Captain of the Survey Corps (and, less importantly, titans) as one could possibly be.

She gathers every ounce of her courage and breaks the standoff.

“Sir! Commander Smith requires your presence in the situation room! Th-that’s all, I’ll just be going now, sorry for the interruption.” The girl shrinks as small as she can and desperately avoids looking at or bumping into Eren when she squeezes herself between him and the doorway to make her escape.

Eren chuckles at how stiff and terrified the girl looks marching down the corridor, observing her for a few more hilarious seconds before he steps into the room and closes the door behind him.

“Ugh.” Levi pinches the bridge of his nose, willing away his burgeoning headache.

Once Eren’s amusement wears off, the many implications of what just transpired dawn on him. None of them are good, but one of them is infinitely worse than the others.

“So… I guess this means you have to go back.” Eren’s shoulders slump and his expression falls along with them.

Looks like he wouldn’t get those few extra hours with his captain after all. He tries not to let his disappointment show while he watches Levi put on his shirt.

“Sorry, Eren,” Levi says as he gently pulls Eren down for a kiss. He sighs again, leaning his forehead against Eren’s while his fingers trace the curve of Eren’s ear. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.” 

Eren gives him a weak little smile. He knows they’re both disappointed about having to delay the relaxation and privacy they were looking forward to so much, but he understands. This is the life they’re bound to as soldier and officer, and duty must come first. Levi may not even have to be gone long, maybe Erwin just forgot to give him something. They’ll have plenty of time alone before that stupid thing Erwin is making them go to tonight.

“Aren’t you getting dressed?” Eren asks, puzzled when he sees Levi putting on his boots without changing back into his uniform. Is he really planning on traipsing through headquarters to see the commander wearing what are essentially pajamas?

“Fuck ‘em.” 

Eren smiles. That’s my Levi.

“At least put on your jacket,” Eren implores him, retrieving Levi’s long winter trench coat from the rack beside the door. He shakes it out, holding it open for Levi to slip his arms into before helping him button it up. Though Eren plays innocent, his suggestion wasn’t entirely selfless. 

Everyone seeing him in casual clothing instead of in uniform wouldn’t be an issue if not for one thing: he’s not wearing his usual black trousers, he’s wearing those pants. The light-colored ones that are so thin they’re nearly transparent, and that in the right light it’s glaringly obvious whenever he decides to forgo underwear, which he has clearly decided to do on this particular occasion.

If Levi insisted on leaving the room wearing those pants, he needed the coat. The long one, not the regular one. There’s no way he’s going to let anyone else treat themselves to the magnificent view those pants do absolutely nothing to hide. That’s a sight for his eyes only. 

Well, his and now that poor, red-faced cadet’s. 

—-

Sitting around in Levi’s room waiting for him to return is boring. Really boring. Eren keeps glancing at the clock, and as every minute passes, his anxiety grows. What’s taking him so long? They’re running out of time.

There’s not much for him to do in here. He’s already showered, tried to read one of Levi’s many extremely boring books, and even resorted to cleaning even though there was literally nothing to clean, not the tiniest speck of dust or hint of cobweb. Eren considers taking a nap, but decides against it. It would be a shame to waste one of his rare off-duty afternoons.

Instead he decides that it’ll be much more fun to go see what his friends are up to. Even though he sees them every day and gets to spend more time with them than he does with Levi, he always enjoys their company. Most of them, at least. 

He’s halfway to the barracks when the worst possible thing happens.

“Oh, Eren! Just the man I was looking for!”

Fuck.

It’s Hanji.

“Come with me, please!” Hanji says in a voice far too sweet and cheerful to be coming from the devil.

“But–” Eren begins to protest even though he probably shouldn’t argue with his squad leader, but Hanji doesn’t give him a chance to speak.

“It’ll be quick!”

Eren groans and does as he’s told, every step towards the basement filled with more dread than the last.

---

It wasn’t quick.

Levi returns to his room and finds it devoid of Eren’s presence. Not like it matters now, it’s already time to get ready and head into the city for the stupid fucking party that everyone is required to attend for no apparent reason. 

By the time he’s done changing into his dress uniform, Erwin and a small assortment of ranked assholes are already waiting outside for him in the carriage. Reluctantly, he joins them and fights the urge to get right back out when Erwin gives him that look, his silent way of warning Levi to be on his best behavior and watch his language. As long as he’s not expecting him to schmooze with the fucking nobles, he can manage. If not, all bets are off. Besides, Erwin’s the master of charming them into emptying their wallets for the Corps anyway.

The only thing that makes the ride slightly more tolerable is that it’s warmer in the carriage than it is outside and no one’s trying to talk to him.

---

It’s cold as balls. Why do they get to ride in the nice warm carriage and Humanity’s Hope has to ride horseback like a fucking peasant? 

He wouldn’t be so cold if Levi was in the saddle with him, pressing himself to his back and wrapping him in his arms. It’s so unfair. He didn’t even get to see Levi before he left. Fucking Hanji. He truly does like Hanji, but when they get that terrifying gleam in their eyes? Not so much.

Doesn’t matter now, he’ll be seeing Levi soon enough.

Eren urges his horse into a full gallop even though it makes the stinging cold winter air assault his already windburned face even more fiercely. The increased speed will get him to warmth quicker. More importantly, it’ll get him to Levi quicker.

Levi, and a room full of other people.

So, so unfair.

 

 

 

Chapter Text

“Sir?”

Eren’s so preoccupied with finding Levi that he doesn’t hear the doorman asking to take his coat until the third try.

He’s too busy scanning the room for Levi to take his eyes off the crowd, so when he removes his heavy overcoat, he extends his arm and absentmindedly drops it, assuming the attendant is reaching for it, which he isn’t, so the attendant is forced to scramble to catch it before it falls onto the slush-covered floor in the entryway.

The attendant huffs and shoots him an angry look, but Eren’s already walking away to get a better look inside the bustling ballroom. The attendant wipes the nasty look off their face and replaces it with something more cheerful when another group shuffles in behind Eren, talking amongst themselves while shaking off their coats and vigorously rubbing the numbing cold out of their hands.

Eren keeps his eyes peeled as he enters the spacious, ornately decorated ballroom. To the left, he sees a fireplace surrounded by plush, cozy-looking armchairs and loveseats on either side of a large sofa. No Levi.

In the center of the room there are people dancing on the polished hardwood floor, and something uncomfortable rises up in his chest while he observes each couple. The uncomfortable feeling disappears when he finds that Levi is not among them, though he’s still anxious to find him.

He looks past the dancers to a large group of people congregating around several long tables draped in white and gold that line the back wall. They’re talking and laughing, holding delicate flutes of something golden and sparkling with tiny bubbles. A few are in uniform, but none of them are Levi.

He looks to the right and there are more people he doesn’t recognize, all dressed in formal attire. There’s a quartet of men in tuxedos in the corner near a large pine tree that for some odd reason is indoors. Each man is playing a different stringed instrument.

A woman in an excessively wide dress swishes past him, and she doesn’t bother apologizing when she bumps into him. He’s growing more frustrated by the second, and now he’s starting to worry that Levi isn’t here. How the hell would he have been able to worm his way out of attending? Erwin was adamant about everyone being there. There’s no way. He has to be here somewhere.

Well, as they say, speak of the devil and he shall appear. There stands a massive blond man with more shit on his shoulders than all the other uniformed men beside him. He towers over them all both in rank and stature, and there’s someone there who he towers over more than any. Eren breathes a sigh of relief. There he is.

He takes long, rushed strides in his direction, trampling over a few of the excessively long hems of dresses that pool on the floor behind their respective ladies, all of whom loudly protest his rudeness. Those things are so stupid, what’s the point of having such a fancy piece of clothing if you’re just going to let it drag on the floor?

That uncomfortable sensation crashes into him again, this time feeling like fire rushing through his veins, and his stomach does a nauseating little somersault while his forehead starts to feel clammy with it. If he didn’t know better, he could swear he’d just turned into a titan because this feeling is not at all dissimilar to when he’s soaring fifteen meters in the air and about to smash some titan skulls. 

Queasy, angry, motivated, ready to scream.

Erwin is on one side of Levi, and on the other is a woman. A woman who is standing way too close to Levi, and whose bodice is far too low cut, and who is giggling and fluttering her lashes at his man. Eren freezes in place, gritting his teeth, clenching his fists, and he damn near growls when the woman lays her hand on Levi’s arm.

Oh no you fucking don’t. He’s. Mine. You keep your filthy hands off my captain, you… you stupid… long-dress-wearing, spoiled… rich lady. Your big dumb breasts have no power over him, just you try something! I fucking dare you! If he doesn’t wreck your shit, I sure as hell will! 

Eren stomps over to the group, rudely shoving himself between his captain and the repulsive woman with her tits half out who keeps pushing closer and closer to Levi like she’s trying to breastfeed him.

Levi looks up at Eren and, for a second, a hint of a smile twitches at the corner of Levi’s lips before he resumes his signature aloofness. Eren is this close to putting his arm around Levi and flaunting his position as Levi’s number one for all to see, but he restrains himself. If there was ever a wrong time and place to reveal their relationship, it’s here and now. He settles for subtly brushing his hand against Levi’s and pressing their shoulders together. 

“Ah, Eren, glad you could make it!”

As if I had any choice in the matter, Eren thinks to himself.

“I’m sure you’re all familiar with Eren Jaeger. Eren, I’d like you to meet the…”

Eren goes through the motions, pretending like he cares with every artificial pleased to meet you, every how do you do, trying not to cringe with every weak, clammy handshake. Once he’s appropriately introduced himself to everyone, he waits until the attention is off him and wipes his hands on his pants. Now that that’s over with, he can finally talk to Levi. Maybe pull him over to the fireplace and hold hands when no one’s looking, or, even better, sneak off to a dark corner and make out a little. Erwin’s smooth, charming voice pulls him out of his daydreaming. Damn, he’s really laying it on thick. Must be some big money involved.

“Now, Eren, why don’t you go get something to eat? We were just in the middle of discussing something and I’d like a few minutes to finish up, if you wouldn’t mind.”

Erwin’s eyes say fuck off before you say something that makes them change their mind about where their money’s going. Levi’s eyes say help me. The gloating look the woman gives him is what really gets Eren riled up. He bites back the urge to assert his dominance.  He seriously considers just picking Levi up and carrying him off.

“Yes, Commander, of course. I apologize for the interruption.”

 

---

Eren isn’t happy about having to leave Levi’s side, but he isn’t about to pass up his chance to stuff his face with tons of fancy, expensive food. He may even stuff his pockets with it, too. As Eren surveys the buffet tables, part of him is excited to eat all that meat and sugar, and another part of him is furious at knowing that this is how people on the interior eat while so many others are starving.

He stops stewing in silent rage once his stomach growls. After that, the only thing on his mind is the food. And Levi. He’s in the process of shoving two different things in his mouth when he remembers that he left him alone with that woman, and when he glances over to him, he’s surprised to find Levi’s eyes on him. Levi gives him a look of disgust, and it takes Eren a second to figure out why. 

He sheepishly swallows his food and Levi looks at him with even more disgust when he wipes his mouth on his sleeve. Eren makes sure Levi sees him grab a plate and napkin like a normal person, and then uses the provided tongs to put the food on his plate. Satisfied, Levi’s expression changes to one of approval, and he turns back to the conversation with Erwin and the nobles.

 

---

 

He’s reached the point where he feels like if he takes one more bite of food, he’ll rupture his stomach and die with a chest cavity full of partially-digested meat. Reminds him of something. Still doesn’t put him off his appetite.

There are still so many things he hasn’t eaten yet, shit, he doesn’t even know what some of the things are , and he’s determined to try them all. He just needs a little breather and then it’s on to round two. He’s forgotten he’s in the presence of polite company until he belches, and everyone in earshot turns to glare at him in horror and disgust. As Levi would say, fuck ‘em.

A little walk should help get those digestive juices flowing. As he takes a lap around the ballroom, he spots some familiar faces near the fireplace and decides to join them, in need of a distraction from his uncomfortably full stomach and the thing he keeps glancing at every two minutes. The sight of that woman flirting with his captain only exacerbates the discomfort in his guts.

“Hey, guys!”

Eren greets his comrades and everyone seems happy to see him. That helps ease his tension. He might make it through this stupid fucking party after all.

“You made it! I thought you weren’t gonna show.” Armin says, scooting over to make room for Eren on the velvet-upholstered loveseat in front of the lovely crackling fire. The heat radiating from the fireplace spreads the fragrance of the pine boughs and berries strung along the mantle, and the pleasant atmosphere it creates does wonders for his nerves.

“Yeah,” Eren sighs, “Hanji.”

Everyone nods solemnly in complete understanding. Ruined plans and Hanji go hand in hand, as they all have painfully learned in their time in the Survey Corps. Eren, bless him, naturally receives the brunt of it. Just the mere mention of titans puts Hanji in a state, and, well, with Eren being a titan and all… It’s a wonder Eren hasn’t eaten the menace already. 

“So much for a fucking day off, right?” 

“We were wondering where you went off to,” Armin says, but lowers his voice to barely a whisper when he leans in to add, slyly, “Cockblocked again, eh?”

“Armin!”

Eren chokes on his own spit and hopes that went unheard by everyone crowded around the fireplace and that they think the ruddiness in his cheeks is from the cold. Armin knew that he planned to spend the day on his back, but no one else needed to know that. 

Armin chuckles in response to Eren’s reaction. He’s the only one who knows about them, and he figured it out on his own. Did Eren really think he could slip that past him? The hickeys were pretty much a dead giveaway. After a bit of teasing, Eren finally gave in and spilled all the details, and, damn, those are some juicy fucking details. Literally.

Armin was spot on and knew he was, too, so no point in denying it. He just wanted to tease him a little. Eren’s been bitching to him all week about how bad he needed to get laid, and, because he’s his best friend, he’s been patiently putting up with Eren’s whining and short temper and not even laughing at him when he got a hard-on from watching Levi scrub floors. The look on Eren’s face just now was his reward. He earned it.

“So, how did you spend your day off?” Eren asks bitterly. Yeah, he’s a little jealous since they probably had a great fucking time not being poked and prodded and interrogated by Hanji, but at least he can live vicariously through them and imagine that he’d spent his afternoon doing whatever undoubtedly fun activity everyone else did instead of getting fucked by Captain Levi.

“We made a snowman,” Armin says, taking pity on Eren, cautious not to sound too happy about it.

“Snow titan,” Sasha corrects.

“Looked just like you,” Jean chimes in from behind the sofa, balancing one of those long glasses of bubbly stuff between his fingers.

“Yeah, and then you smashed it,” Connie adds, Sasha nodding in agreement.

“What the fuck, horse-face? You smashed me?!” Eren cries out with indignance. That bastard!

“It was highly satisfying,” Jean replies with a smirk before attempting to look like he has some class when he swigs a mouthful from his glass, which he then promptly chokes on.

Everyone erupts in laughter, even red-faced Jean after he’s done coughing. Yeah, this is nice.

Nice, but it doesn’t prevent Eren from glancing back over his shoulder to where he last saw Levi. He’s still there, and so is the woman. Why is she hanging all over him? It’s usually Commander Handsome who gets all the attention from the ladies. Short and angry isn’t usually their type. 

Levi’s always had this spooky sixth sense when it comes to being stared at, so Eren isn’t surprised that Levi instantly turns his head in his direction when he feels eyes on his back. A humorously pained expression is barely visible beneath his Captain Levi mask, but hey, he’s not helpless, there’s nothing stopping him from excusing himself from the conversation that he doesn’t even seem to be a part of. Erwin had him all day, what more could he possibly want with him? 

Eren looks away from Levi when he hears footsteps coming closer and then stopping in front of him. Strange timing. She wasn’t here a second ago. Mikasa is still wearing her scarf even though she’s in dress uniform, and, as she always does when she’s uncomfortable, she has it pulled up over her mouth. There’s a weird look in her eyes for a moment, but then it softens when Eren greets her. “Hey, Mikasa!”

She doesn’t greet him back, just squints at him for a few seconds before advancing on him.

“Mikasa, there’s not enough room!” Eren protests, because for some reason she’s intent on squeezing herself beside him on the loveseat instead of sitting in the unoccupied chair to his left. They could’ve just moved over to the larger sofa that’s meant to seat more than two people, but no.  

“Make some.” She replies flatly, and Eren tries, he really does. He ends up half sitting on Armin’s lap while Armin gets smashed against the armrest to one side of him. In turn, Mikasa ends up half sitting on his lap on his other side.

This is… cozy. A little too cozy, honestly.

“Eren. Have you eaten?” Mikasa asks, craning forward, putting her face uncomfortably close to his. Close enough for her hair to fall onto his shoulder. Guess she’s decided that’s not enough concern she’s showing, and now she needs to step up her game by reaching across his body and straightening his lapels before stroking his head to tidy his windblown hair.

Eren tries to move closer to Armin, but he can’t without actually sitting on his lap, which, to him, is the better of the two options he has right now. Armin glances sidelong at Eren, subtly acknowledging their shared discomfort with this… situation.

“Actually, I, uh, I’m pretty hungry now that you mention it, I’ll be right back!” Eren bolts up with some difficulty, since he’s partly trapped under Mikasa’s thigh, so he nearly dumps her onto the floor in the process of denying any more contact between his lap and her ass.

So what if he lied a little. Physically, no, he’s pretty much the exact opposite of hungry. Mentally, on the other hand, he’s still devising a strategy for fitting more food in his stomach, though that’s not his only focus right now. It’s about an 80/20 split between Levi and food. Okay, yeah, maybe he is physically hungry after all, but those hunger pangs are coming from somewhere lower than his stomach.

He breathes a deep sigh of relief once he’s no longer the meat in the middle of a human sandwich, and he heads straight for the table he was planning to save for last. He browses the assorted sweets and pastries that seem to have increased in quantity since he last saw them.

While he’s weighing his options, trying to figure out which thing will take up the least space in his stomach, he decides to check in and see how Levi’s doing. It’s about that time again; it’s been a minute since he last checked.

Levi is exactly where he was, standing ramrod straight while that woman is still practically humping his leg. Why hasn’t he roundhouse kicked her across the room yet? Erwin must really have him by the balls. Is that what he needed to see Levi for earlier?

One of the pastries catches his eye. The shape of it gives him an interesting idea, and fuck it, who cares if anyone else sees him do what he intends to do with it so long as one specific man is watching. This is going to be good. He plucks it from the silver platter and smiles at it with a look of pure, unadulterated evil.

 

---

 

Are they ever going to shut the fuck up? Why am I even here? Is this a test? I swear to fuck, if they don’t stop talking and let me leave, the smell of this broad’s perfume is going to make me gag, and I’m an expert at not gagging. 

Levi clenches his jaw. It’s torture seeing Eren all the way over there, laughing and talking with his squad instead of being forced to kiss ass so these pigs will fork over some cash. What makes this torture even more unbearable is what he sees the next time he looks across the room at Eren. Mikasa certainly looks cozy all cuddled up with his brat like that. She is way too close. Even from behind, Levi can tell that she’s practically on top of him. Probably trying to cop a feel, too. Fucking disgusting. You’re his sister, you pervert.

Sighing, Levi casts another forlorn glance toward the fireplace, but now there are only two bodies occupying the loveseat where Eren was last time he looked. He tries not to make it obvious that he’s looking all around the room for Eren.

Ah, there he is. Stuffing his face again, I see. That kid eats like an entire stable of horses.

That kid is looking straight at him, too.

He doesn’t like that look in his eye, but Eren’s already got his hook in him, reeling him in like a fish, and he’s about to become dinner.

Eren looks directly at him as he raises the long pastry to his mouth. Instead of taking a small bite like someone with some fucking manners would, he wraps his lips around the end of it. He doesn’t bite it at all, not even a nibble. 

What he does do is close his eyes with his lips stretched around it and slowly pulls it out of his mouth, tossing his head back in ecstasy. While Levi can’t hear him at this distance, he knows Eren is groaning while he does it because that’s what he always does when he makes that face. His eyes remain closed as his sinful pink tongue snakes out to lick a smudge of chocolate from his lip, but as soon as he’s done, his eyes snap open and give Levi the most devious, mischievous, and fucking seductive look while he brazenly smirks at him.

Levi knows he should look away, but it’s too late now. He’s hooked. What a sucker he is. Eren always gets him like this. He tunes out everything going on around him and shifts his weight from one foot to the other. He’s starting to get a little hot under the collar. Why’d I wear this fucking cravat? I’m sweating balls.

Levi really should have fought his sexually frustrated fascination and looked away.

Now Eren decides to actually bite the fucking pastry instead of fellating it. He sinks his teeth into it, and when he pulls it away from his mouth, he allows a trail of thick cream to ooze from the end, letting it drip down his bottom lip, glaring at Levi the entire time. Levi’s eyes widen by a fraction as he continues to watch this highly inappropriate show Eren’s putting on in front of a whole ballroom full of important-ish people.

Eren doesn’t look away, doesn’t so much as blink when he raises two fingers up to his mouth and drags them up through the trail of cream and saliva that he’s allowed to dribble down his chin. He gathers it all onto his fingertips, pauses, making sure Levi is watching, and then he sticks them both into his mouth, dragging them out slowly, hollowing his cheeks while he sucks the cream off of them. If it wasn’t bad enough already, his grand finale features him holding his fingers in front of his mouth and flicking his tongue over his fingertips before giving one long, final drag of his tongue up the entire length of them.

Oh, you mother fucker.

And then, as if nothing had happened, Eren grins innocently and flounces off to rejoin his friends.

 

---

 

Eren’s teasing doesn’t stop there.

The view of what's directly beside him has Levi cursing his height, or lack thereof, but it has a silver lining for once. Being nearly eye-level with the heaving bosom that keeps getting shoved in his face is more effective at killing his boner than a cold shower. Things were getting tense for a minute there. Fucking brat. Just you wait until we get back to headquarters. You won’t walk right for a week.

The minutes drag by until they’re hours that feel more like days. Every time he looks over at Eren, he’s greeted with something new, and he hates every single thing he sees.Making eyes at him from across the room, not so bad. Happens all the time. Getting back into that loveseat with Mikasa and adjusting her scarf? Not unusual, but it doesn’t normally bother him like this. Taking her plate and accidentally dropping a fork which, for god knows why, because Levi sure as hell doesn’t– he deems it necessary to bend all the way over to retrieve, looking completely ridiculous with how he sticks his ass out when he does it. He deliberately takes far longer than is necessary to complete the task, a task which absolutely should not involve wiggling his rear end. And oh, then, then that ballsy little shit actually looks over his shoulder and fucking winks at him while he rolls his hips to right himself. Levi wishes Eren would have bitten himself like the last time he tried to pick up stray silverware. That would’ve cleared the ballroom for sure. 

Eren takes a detour after depositing the empty plate on the cart in the far corner of the room. Instead of going back the way he came, he circles around to flank Levi’s group. He doesn’t look at Levi when he walks past, but he does make sure to accidentally drag his fingers across his ass. Levi involuntarily straightens his posture, which apparently Erwin noticed because he raised one of his big fucking eyebrows and gave him a brief look of curiosity before returning to the conversation at hand.

Eren’s not with his friends the next time Levi looks over. He’s about to check the buffet line again when an explosion of loud, girlish laughter startles him from behind. He really doesn’t care what the commotion is all about, he’s been hearing that sort of thing all night long, but something compels him to look this time.

That’s where Eren disappeared to. He was behind him the entire time, trapped in the center of a ring of young girls, smiling, saying something that makes them blush and giggle and politely cover their mouths with gloved hands. Levi watches him turn to the one at his side, a diminutive girl with big blue eyes and long, tightly curled blonde locks cascading over her bare shoulders. Did they dare Armin to wear that dress again? The wig is a bit over the top, though he must say, it really suits him.

Except Armin doesn’t have giant knockers, and if he did, he wouldn’t be pressing them into Eren’s arm… which is looped around his. Hers. Whatever. Why is she touching him. She’s squeezing his arm and he’s letting her. Stop leaning in like that, he’s not going to kiss you. And get your filthy udders off him, he’s not interested. Maria, how are they so big? What are they feeding these girls? Fuck, with boulders like that, they could’ve called her to fill that hole in Trost.

...Is he interested in them? Levi swallows hard, trying to force down the sudden wave of uncertainty. He was Eren’s first; he’d never been with anyone else before him, man or woman. He’s still so young, maybe he hasn’t had time to figure out if… Nope. Not going there. Eren himself has told him on many occasions that he’s the only one he’s ever been interested in, and the same goes for him. So where’s this bullshit insecurity coming from all of a sudden?

Levi knows Eren saw him looking, and he hates the jealous beast that keeps rearing its goddamn ugly head. He turns his eyes away in a huff, shocking himself even more with his illogical behavior. When he does this, he gets another faceful of the rotten melons that have been testing his patience all night, which promptly puts him in his place. Oh. I guess that’s fair.

A few more uncomfortable seconds tick by. He’s getting antsy. Starting to fidget. Grinding his teeth. 

Fuck this. The only hands that are allowed to be on that boy are mine. 

“Oi, Erwin.”

Erwin seems surprised to hear Levi’s voice. Now that he’s thinking about it, it’s the first time he’s heard Levi say anything all night. 

“Pardon me, one moment.” Erwin holds his palm up in front of him and turns his attention away from the man who’s been waving his big, tacky, gold ring in everyone’s face while he yaps about nothing of substance. “Yes, Levi?”

“Where do I have to go to take a piss around here?”

Everyone goes silent for a moment. In the span of about two seconds, Erwin’s expression changes from polite interest to shock to disapproval and then all the way back to Commander Handsome. 

“Ah. Go out the main entrance, and it’ll be down the hall to your left.” Erwin’s charming demeanor doesn’t slip, but Levi knows there are curses sealed behind those smiling lips. It could’ve been worse. He has been extraordinarily well-behaved tonight, so Erwin lets that one pass. 

“Thanks.” Levi can’t wait to get out of here and as far away from these boring sons of bitches as he can. He pushes past the woman attached to the giant mounds of jiggling sweater meat and never has the air in an overcrowded room smelled so sweet to him. 

He stares determinedly at Eren, walking past him without saying anything, but he jerks his head slightly toward the door to make sure Eren will get the hint.

“Ladies, if you’ll excuse me– it was lovely meeting you…”

Eren’s words are drowned out by the music and the crowd once Levi gets a few steps past him, but he doesn’t miss the whines of disappointment the gaggle of girls all make at the same time. Oh, you poor darlings, if only you knew. 

Levi disappears through the huge double doors of the ballroom and turns down the hallway, walking only far enough down it to be out of sight of the doorman. He leans against the wall and waits for Eren.

 

 

 

Chapter Text



For one brief, testosterone-fueled moment, Levi is tempted to just drag Eren into the lavatory and trade blowjobs in one of the stalls. He's desperate enough to put aside his distaste for the idea of getting sucked off over a toilet, but the possibility of being heard guzzling come by someone shitting in the next stall over is even less appealing than the location itself. His aching balls disagree. If they had their way, he’d be getting on all fours right here in the damn hallway.

But, in the end, they walk right past the lavatory and keep going, utterly silent save for the rough breathing of mutual anticipation. 

The noise of the party grows fainter and fainter, and once they reach the end of the hall, Levi grabs Eren by the lapels, spins him around the corner of the intersecting corridor and throws him against the wall. Eren gasps when he collides with it, and he can't even get a full breath in before Levi throws his whole body weight into him, pinning him there. He shoves his thigh between Eren's and growls just before diving in to attack Eren's neck like a starving man in front of a feast, which is precisely what he is.

"Mmm, something wrong, Captain?" Tilting his head back to rest against the cold stone, Eren closes his eyes in bliss, soaking up all of Levi's attention, basking in his victory. Levi's rough, but Eren's gentle; Levi is sucking harshly and nipping at Eren's neck, grinding his thigh into Eren's crotch, whereas Eren is slowly rubbing his hands up Levi's back, sliding his fingers into Levi's hair, lovingly caressing and petting the back of his head. "Not having a good time at th– ah! mmm – the party?"

Levi wants to make some idiotic quip about where the party is and who is invited, but currently, he's too busy trying to suck Eren's soul out through his mouth to be a smartass. He squeezes Eren's right asscheek instead and then sucks hard at Eren's pulse for added effect, leaving behind a significant red mark that his collar definitely won't hide. Mine.

The hall is dark, but there's a warm yellow glow bleeding out of one of the rooms they passed on the way to the shadowy makeout spot where, at present, they're sloppily necking and dry-humping like a couple of horny teenagers who've snuck out after curfew. Upon consideration, that assessment isn't entirely inaccurate.

"No," Levi replies in a low, agitated growl, pausing to rip open Eren's top shirt button so he can suck a red splotch on Eren's collarbone before continuing, "but I think I'm about to." He grinds his crotch against Eren's to make his point, and though Eren's choosing to play dumb, the way Eren whimpers when he presses into the hard bulge trapped against Eren's thigh tells him that the real party's just getting started.

Levi glances sideways to the source of the light around the corner and grunts, savagely yanking Eren off the wall by his lapels. Faltering from the force of it, Eren squeaks in surprise and pitches forward, remaining hunched-over as Levi takes his hand and stomps down the hall in the direction of the lit-up room with his stumbling brat in tow. 

One of the room's large wooden doors is open, and that's what Levi slams him into next, instantly resuming his attack on Eren's neck and groin. He bites and sucks Eren's lip, and Eren trembles and moans, and it pushes him past the limit of his restraint. He shoves a hand down between their crushed-together bodies but doesn't cease furiously tongue-fucking Eren's mouth while he jerks his belt open in the limited space. It's lucky that Eren's erection is trapped against his thigh down his pant leg, or else it might've received a few of the wrong kind of blows. 

Eren's too lost in the kiss to notice what's going on, whimpering too loudly to hear how Levi damn near breaks the zipper when he tears open his fly, and he still doesn't notice the cock that slaps against his own belt buckle until Levi wrenches Eren's hand out of his hair and shoves it down there.

Eren gasps and his eyes snap open when his palm is suddenly pressed against the hard, hot flesh. Levi steps back to give them more space, and when Eren looks at him, Levi's eyes are not on his face. For whatever reason, Levi's scowling at his crotch instead, almost like he's angry at his dick, which has done absolutely nothing wrong.

"What are you waiting for? Whip it out already." Levi grows impatient in the two seconds Eren rudely keeps him waiting for his cock. He takes matters into his own hands, and his nimble fingers fly to Eren's disobediently zipped-up pants. 

Eren gets the hint, and Levi's desperation makes his cock throb and strain against the smooth fabric of his dress slacks, so he decides to help Levi out because it's an awkward angle, and he can do it faster by himself. The instant it springs out, Levi grabs it, cutting his sigh of relief off into a surprised choke. Somehow he's still taking too long for Levi's taste. 

Levi's in such a hurry that before Eren can even get his hand on him, Levi's already wrapping his fingers around both of them, jerking them hard and fast at the same time.

"Fuck," Eren whispers, closing his eyes and tossing his head back exactly as he'd done when he'd made Levi watch him suck on something that wasn't his cock and which didn't taste half as good as the real deal (and which he put back on the tray half-eaten and covered in spit). He's helpless to do anything, it feels too good having his cock rubbing against Levi's, to have his rough, battle-worn hand squeezing them tightly together, their foreskins already so wet from the copious pre-ejaculate oozing out of them that it makes an obscene sound as they slide up and down.

Levi's panting quietly, but that's not what Eren's doing. Eren's making cute, clipped little moans that he tries to stifle by biting his lip. He's close already, and with how much Levi's picked up the pace, he's probably not the only one ready to desecrate their dress uniform. 

Or, rather, he was. 

"You know what," Levi growls, "fuck this." He stops his stroking and squeezes them tighter in his hand. They feel each other throb and swell at the same time, sending hot shivers through their bodies and pulling groans from their throats in tandem. Ripping his hand away from their joined cocks, Levi wraps that same slick hand around the back of Eren's neck and pulls him down far enough to bite at his jaw. 

Eren's confused as hell. There's not enough blood left in his brain to function, leaving only that primal animal part of it that wants to breed and is fucking pissed about not getting to release the seed that was imminently about to be deposited into Levi's fist.

Levi sure is growling a lot tonight, and Eren's never seen him pissed off about getting a handjob before. He stares at Levi with a mixture of irritation and confusion, his arms flapping about uselessly, looking like he's either trying to argue or to ask what the fuck is going on, why did you stop, give me back your dick, what the fuck is wrong with you?

He gets his answer with Levi's next growl, which is dark and deep and menacing when he hisses it lowly into his ear, "Get inside me. Now." Levi bites Eren's earlobe and pulls with his teeth until it pops out throbbing and wet and much redder than it already was.

Levi looks around the room for a good place to summon the beast with two backs. He's not opposed to getting fucked up against the wall, but if there's a more comfortable option, even better.

Fortunately for him, there is. There's a low table flanked by two red velvet sofas in front of the fireplace, which, despite being in an unoccupied room far away from the party, is still going strong. He takes note of this; someone must be regularly stoking the fire. Perhaps this room will be used for something later on. 

If the presence of the crystal brandy decanter and matching glasses on the sideboard are any indication, it'll probably be a bunch of fat cats having a nightcap over some cigars that both smell and look like shit while they discuss what must be done about all those troublesome, filthy refugees. He'd already overheard a similar conversation back in the ballroom. Erwin, I hope you're taking them for everything they have. Godspeed, Commander.

Either way, whatever it is that this room is going to be used for next is going to have to wait until he's had at least one orgasm. 

Regardless of who else's filthy ass has been sitting on it, the sofa is a hell of a lot softer and warmer than the cold stone he might've been getting hoisted up and screwed against. Eren's stronger than he looks, and he's aware he'd be walking away with his back raw and red from how hard Eren would be thrusting him up and down it. He knows this from a wealth of glorious experience, and it would've been entirely worth it. Whenever he's scraped up from being schtupped against any variety of rough surfaces, Eren always feels guilty and apologizes to him with a massage that even the most expensive lady of the evening in the best damn brothel in all of Mitras could never even dream of rivaling. 

He's so tense that a massage sounds amazing right about now, but nowhere near as amazing or as tension-relieving as getting stuffed by Eren, wall or couch alike. Fuck now, massage later. Unless...

"Do you want to have sex?" he asks, confident that he already knows the answer to that question, but he hadn't actually gotten confirmation from Eren and that is absolutely necessary before this can go any further. He was correct in his assumption; if Eren had nodded any harder, his head might have fallen clean off. Briefly, he wonders if it would grow back like the rest of him does. But which end would it regrow from? Questions for later.

"Get on the couch," Levi orders, but it's not like Eren would've had a choice in the matter anyway, because Levi's already pushed him down onto it.

Eren doesn't mind the manhandling. He's so fucking ready to go that if he doesn't get his rocks off soon, he'll probably pass out from the prolonged lack of bloodflow to his brain. Levi's looking around the room again, just as desperately as before, but now with his brow furrowed and his lips pressed into a flat line.

"Shit," Levi hisses, his attention back on Eren sitting on the sofa, staring at him confusedly with his cock out, so hard it's aiming straight up at the fucking chandelier like a compass (with a very large needle) pointing north. "I wasn't planning on fucking." 

"Could've fooled me."

"Idiot. You're not going in dry," Levi explains, sighing in frustration at his poor planning. Yeah, he was planning on fucking- in his bedroom where there's lube, not here, with Erwin and all those rich fucks down the hall. 

He could sneak out to the kitchen and lift some oil, but he's standing at full attention. His mast is hoisted. His pole is so stiff he could probably fly a flag from the damn thing, hell, he's so fucking hard he could probably punch a hole in Wall Maria with his cock. The fuckers out there would definitely not appreciate the salute. Maybe that one floozy swinging her overflowing milk jugs in his face for the past few hours would, but if she thinks she's invited into this tent, she can dream the fuck on.

He's already made it this far and gotten the go-ahead from Eren, so there's no way he's going to turn back now. Spit will have to suffice.

"I can help with that," Eren lilts, a suspicious sparkle in his eyes. He plants his feet on the coffee table, straightening his legs to raise his ass off the sofa. He digs into his pocket, eventually producing a small tin of balm, which he displays to Levi pinched between his thumb and index finger, wiggling it in front of his face with a devious grin.

"And why do you have that?" Levi raises a questioning eyebrow at Eren, who shyly averts his eyes to the hand resting flat on the cushion, turning his devious grin into a coquettish little smile that's faker than Erwin's charm (and his toupée).

"My skin gets dry when it's cold out." Eren looks up at Levi through fluttering lashes, trying to look innocent and adorable, but then drops the bullshit little play-act with a smirk.

"You horny fucking brat, you actually planned on screwing here?" God damn, I love the balls on this kid, and not just the metaphorical ones.

"No, I honestly did bring this for my skin. I can't be kissing my captain with chapped lips." No matter how suspicious it sounds, it's the honest to gods truth. He can't put chapped lips or rough hands on his beloved captain. However, just because he didn’t specifically plan on fucking at the party doesn’t mean that it didn’t cross his mind.

"Whatever," Serendipity or not, it's worked out in his favor. No spit this time. Everything's just coming up fucking roses. "Just get it on your dick."

While Levi drops trou, Eren unscrews the tin and nearly spills the melted balm on his pant leg. It seems the frigid weather is no match for his titan body heat. Good, it'll be warm. 

He's just about to start stroking his cock with a palmful of it, but as he looks back up, his hand stops, hovering above his flushed, swollen erection. He's both amused and aroused by what he sees Levi doing in front of him: Levi is bent over, hopping on one leg, manhood bouncing. He's flinging off a boot, which lands several feet away, and then he jerks his knee up and struggles to shimmy one leg free from his slacks. He only barely succeeds in remaining as upright as his cock.

When Levi finishes the hilariously arduous task that leaves him with one pant leg dragging behind him, and one bunched up at his ankle with his belt buckle loudly scraping the floor, his attention returns to Eren, whom he discovers sitting completely still with his cock in his unlubricated hand, staring at him like he's just grown a second dick. 

"What? I can't ride you with my pants on."

Eren shakes his head, biting back the laughter welling up in his throat and threatening to burst out of his mouth. "I could've just bent you over the armrest."

Levi rolls his eyes and stalks towards him, his dark eyes smoldering with intent. "Uh-uh. You're going to look at me when you fuck me." 

Now that there's real lube, there's no reason for him to still be standing here with a rock-hard cock and an empty rectum. He snaps his fingers impatiently. "Penis. Slippery. Now. Hurry up." 

Eren knows Levi doesn't like it from behind. Levi got mad at him for calling him adorable when he told him the real reason why. He couldn't help it; it was adorable! You see, the reason Levi gave him for not wanting to do it face down, ass up, was that he can't kiss him from that position. Awwww. 

Eren smiles softly, thinking about Levi's adorable confession as he carefully spreads the warm oil along his length. He's extra careful not to spill a single drop since he'd spilled nearly all of the melted balm into his palm when he opened the tin, so right now, this handful of asshole grease is more precious than gold.

Once sufficiently lubricated, Eren's reminiscing comes to a brutal halt, and his dreamy smile slides right off his face because suddenly and without warning, he's all the way inside Levi. Just like that. Walked up, swung a leg over, and bam! They're fucking. Sat right down on his cock like a champ. Already bouncing.

"Maria, fuck," Eren gasps, his heart racing, lightheaded and reeling from the shock of Levi immediately impaling himself on his, uh… sword. Once he’s determined that he’s not actually having a heart attack, the pleasure takes over. “Fuck, you feel good.”

Levi takes a few seconds to mentally gloat over the reaction he got out of Eren. He snorts when he notices Eren wiping his oily hand on the sofa. Nice.

Within seconds, Levi establishes a fast and steady rhythm, and it's so overwhelming for Eren that all he's able to do is gape dumbly at Levi, grab his hips, hang on tight and go along for the ride. 

Levi's on cloud nine right now. Taking Eren's cock on a nice, cushy sofa is definitely better than a bathroom blowjob. It's actually turned out to be a delightful place to fuck. The velvet upholstery is easy on the knees, and the springy cushion adds an extra oomph to every bounce on Eren's lap. The creaky springs are a little annoying but combined with all of Eren's moans, it's less so. The sound of being fucked against a wall is much more subtle. The way this sounds, though… unmistakably sex. Loud sex to boot.

Levi takes a split-second look over his shoulder. I knew I forgot something. Fuck it, I'm not getting up. 

Eren is equally enthused by the impromptu romp in one of the most inappropriate places they've ever boned. It's more luxurious than either of their rooms at headquarters. The couch is not as comfortable as Levi's bed, but this isn't bad at all. It's warm and cozy by the fireplace just like it is in Levi's quarters, but the atmosphere here with all the elegant fabrics and stately, matching furniture is much more romantic. 

Romantic. That's what Eren was hoping for today. A nice, slow, romantic tumble in the sheets. Both of them taking their time, making it last, kissing, and holding each other close and not wearing their uniforms.

As much as he loves it fast and desperate, it’s getting him too close. With both of them so pent up from their weeks of painful celibacy, he already knew that neither of them were going to last long. That’s probably for the best right now, what with them fucking in such a risky location and all, but still… He’d like to have his cock inside Levi for more than three minutes. He’d rather it be all night, but he’ll take what he can get. At the very least he hopes they can make it a solid five.

“Levi,” Eren says, and Levi should’ve heard him– he’s scraping the corner of his jaw with his teeth– but he doesn’t respond. He must’ve mistaken it as a moan of his name, because, really, it was, but… “ Levi !”

Levi answers him this time with a grunt, though he doesn’t move his lips from their new location sucking and licking the tender skin under Eren’s chin. He latches on and sucks harder, and Eren’s voice vibrates under his lips.

“Let’s– ah !” Eren breathes, gasping and trembling from the harsh suck that cuts off his plea before he can finish it. “Let’s– can we-” a moan interrupts this time, but Levi finally realizes that Eren is trying to ask him something.

“Hm?” He hums, nuzzling his cheek against Eren’s, turning curious eyes upward.

“Slow down, I want– I want to…”

A harder thrust makes Eren bury his face in the crook of Levi’s neck and groan his muffled request into the rough material of his uniform, still unable to finish asking due to something interrupting him.

From across the room.

“Ah. A moment, please.”

Levi’s shoulders tense and his bouncing stops. He lazily glances behind him. 

“Can I help you?” Levi drawls, looking back at Eren once he’s acknowledged the intruder.

“Levi, what in god’s name is going on here?” Erwin demands, keeping his angry voice as low as he can, pulling the door shut behind him in an unhurried manner that belies his inner panic.

"What does it look like, eyebrows? We're fucking,” Levi replies, strangely placid. He resumes raising and lowering himself onto Eren’s cock, albeit at a slightly slower pace.

With sheer terror in his wide eyes, Eren’s nails scrabble at Levi’s shoulders and he squirms wildly beneath him. Levi responds by placing a hand on Eren’s chest, feeling his racing heartbeat through layers of shirt and jacket. 

“Look, Erwin, I'm a little busy right now. Do you need me for something urgent, or can it wait? Because this is a pretty bad time.” Levi ducks in to kiss Eren’s beet-red neck.

The coupling couple are communicating without words. Eren responds to Levi’s bizarre look of stay where you are with eyes darting to the door and back as if to say don’t you realize who just walked in on us?!

Riding the sudden wave of nausea, Erwin takes in the horrible scene in front of him. So this is why Levi was taking so long to return to the ballroom. He thought nothing of Eren disappearing shortly after, chalking up the uneasy feeling in his gut to his suspicion that Levi was going to try to leave the party instead of visiting the lavatory.

Erwin realizes just how wrong his intuition was when his brain finally registers the one important detail he missed.

“...Eren?”

Eren stiffens so hard he jolts from his head to his feet. Shit. 

“Um, hi, Commander,” Eren squeaks, sheepishly leaning a tad to the left so that Levi’s shoulder isn’t blocking his view of Erwin glaring daggers at them anymore. Commander Erwin saw you fucking Levi and the first thing you do is say hi? Goddammit, penis, stop hogging all the blood! Send a little back upwards before I say something even more stupid.

Levi sits flush onto Eren’s lap and leans back, turning his head just enough to make casual eye contact with his boss. Leaning back was a mistake because it made Eren’s cock bump against that . It’s already hard enough as it is to keep a straight face without the added urge to scream Eren’s name.

Erwin is, by nature, mysterious and unreadable, but Levi can make out the delicious, barely-restrained fury that’s beautifully garnished with a touch of discomfort. Levi chuckles internally. This is gonna be good. 

“Unbelievable.”

“Ugh, tell me about it,” Levi groans, “he’s fucking fantastic.” Levi emphasizes this fact with a long, taunting roll of his hips. He lowers himself back down onto Eren, agonizingly slow and gradual, deliberately ensuring that Erwin has a clear view of him being penetrated by his subordinate. He does this both as a challenge and as a bit of revenge for ruining his day off with his perpetual cockblocking. 

Unfortunately for Levi, flaunting his asshole stretching around Eren’s glistening cock just now reminded him of the time he rode Eren facing the mirror. Fuck, that was hot. We’ll have to do that again sometime. He grits his teeth against the new shiver of arousal that shoots through him at the mental image that makes it even more of a challenge to maintain his composure. 

Levi checks for a reaction. He’s disappointed. Damn. What do I have to do to make this fucker blush? What do I have to do to make him leave?

“I can’t believe you’d do something like this. At the very least I’d have expected you to exercise some discretion with your… affair.” Erwin swallows, struggling to hide his embarrassment with anger. 

“You’re the one who came in without knocking.”

“The door was open, Levi! Do you know who almost witnessed this… this... conduct? ” Erwin’s hiss is venomous now. Good, very good.  

“I’m guessing some slimy shitbag with a lot of money.” If Levi sounds unconcerned, it’s because he is.

The caterpillars on Erwin’s forehead look like they’re about to mate. Erwin’s not saying anything. There might be steam coming out of his ears. Time to poke the bear a little more.

"Now, Erwin, why don't you go get something to eat? We're kind of in the middle of something, and I'd like a few minutes to finish up. If you wouldn't mind."

Erwin stares in disbelief at Levi’s audacious and vulgar behavior. Not only had he lacked the common decency to cover up, but now he’s mocking him?

“We need to have a serious discussion–“

“Yeah, yeah,” Levi doesn’t look back while he waves Erwin off. “If that’s all, I'd like to get back to riding this magnificent cock.” Another roll of the hips. “He was about to come before you barged in here.”

Eren covers his face with both hands, absolutely mortified.

Levi senses that Erwin is nowhere near finished bitching him out. He can feel the fury radiating from him. It’s fun trying to get him all worked up and flustered, but he really would like to get back to fucking now. This has gone on long enough that he’s decided he’s not opposed to just getting on with getting off with Erwin still in the room.

"If you want to stay and watch, that’s fine, but no touching, and keep it in your pants. I don’t need to see that shit.”

Erwin sputters.

“We will be talking about this. You are to report to my office immediately once–“

Erwin’s warning trails off when Levi rolls his hips again and doesn’t stop doing it this time.

Erwin turns on his heel in a huff and reaches for the door handle with a shaking hand.

“Hey, do me a favor and close it behind you. Thanks.”

Erwin squares his shoulders and it takes every ounce of his restraint not to slam the door on the way out.

 

—-

The slimy shitbag, rather, the multiple slimy shitbags are still waiting in the hall right where Erwin left them. He sighs as subtly as he can, steeling his nerves and trying to remember what his face is supposed to look like.

“Is something the matter, Commander? We heard noises,” one of the shitbags questions.

“My apologies. It seems the room isn’t ready yet, but they’re just about finished with it.” 

“I see,” says the shitbag with a hint of suspicion in his voice.

“Until then, shall we have another drink?”

The impatient nobles perk up at the mention of alcohol, and they depart in high spirits, none of them the wiser.

 

—-

 

Once Eren recovers from his second heart attack of the evening, his eyes meet Levi’s mirthful, smirking face.

“I can’t believe you!” he exclaims, not seeming too upset about the commander walking in on him balls-deep in his captain. If anything, he’s a little smug about showing Erwin who’s who. It’s knowing that the commander saw his junk that he’s not too happy about, even if most of it was hidden in Levi’s ass. “Oh my god, I can’t.”

"What? I'm not gonna let that fucker blueball me. He had it coming." 

“Aren’t you worried?”

“Nah.” 

“But-“

“Fuck ‘em.”

Eren giggles, his chest swelling with warmth and adoration for his brave, sexy captain, whose dripping cock is leaving an obvious wet spot on the front of his uniform.

“Besides, I think you liked it.” Levi teases his blushing brat. He loves watching him squirm.

“I did not!” Eren loudly objects, but he’s no match for Levi’s razor-sharp powers of perception.

“Oh? Well this,” Levi clenches around Eren’s still fully erect cock, forcing a squeak out of Eren. “Tells me otherwise. You’re still harder than a goddamn wooden leg.”

“Fuck you, ” Eren whines, no real anger behind his words. He knows he’s been had. “It was just the adrenaline!”

“In case you haven’t noticed, that is exactly what you are doing.” Levi allows himself one smart-ass quip since he’s held back most of the good ones. 

“If that’s the case, then…” Eren retaliates with a hard squeeze to Levi’s also fully erect cock. “Looks like I’m not the only one who liked it.”

Eren gives him a dirty look, which Levi kisses right off his face. Cupping Eren’s cheeks in his hands, he continues kissing him, sighing in relief at the resumption of the satisfying drag of Eren’s cock inside him. He closes his eyes to enjoy the sensation, but opens them again and breaks the kiss when he remembers that Eren was trying to ask him something before Commander Cockblock interrupted their coitus.

“What was it that you were trying to ask me before?” Levi strokes Eren’s cheek with his knuckles, gazing into his eyes while waiting for an answer.

Eren hums and leans into the touch, his eyes drifting shut and his lips curving into a small, pleased smile. He answers Levi with his eyes still closed, feeling a bit shy about wanting something so sappy instead of a hurried fuck in what is essentially an extremely glorified broom closet like last time.

“Oh, it was nothing,” he lies, but Levi doesn’t relent.

“Come on,” Levi implores between kisses, “tell me.”

“I was just thinking… maybe we could change positions? I mean, you’re doing all the work, and…” Eren tries to play it off, but he knows he can’t hide anything from Levi, and when has Levi not given him anything he wants? His heart flutters.

“Of course. Anything you want.” Levi has a feeling he knows what Eren’s going to ask for. He nuzzles Eren’s nose with his own, stilling his hips. “Well? What else do you want, brat?”

“Could we… do it slower?” 

“Is that all?” Levi quirks an eyebrow at Eren. He knows he’s lying because Eren would normally just grab his hips and guide him into the pace he wants. But if Eren’s going to be too shy to ask for it, he’ll give it to him pretending like it was his idea. 

“Maybe you could... lay on your back?” 

There it is. Eren’s in one of his needy, romantic moods tonight. A lovemaking mood, not a fucking mood. Understandable, since that’s what he had in mind as well, but... once this started happening, Levi decided he was going to save that for later. It’d work out to their advantage since it’ll be easier to take it slow if they’ve already gotten off once, but if that’s what Eren wants right now, that’s what Eren gets. 

Before he removes himself from Eren’s lap, Levi kisses him sweetly, caressing his cheek and gazing lovingly into his eyes. When Levi stands up, a sudden, unpleasantly sharp clack of metal on stone makes him flinch. He frowns at the belt buckle responsible for the offense to his ears, debating whether or not he should take off his other boot and fully strip his bottom half. 

The decision is made for him by the sight of Eren kneeling upright on the sofa, pants around his ankles, making those fucking puppy-dog eyes at him while waiting for him to lay down. 

Levi sighs while Eren slowly rocks into him, remembering how good it feels to have Eren’s strong body pressed against his, even if they aren’t skin-to-skin. This is a different type of pleasure than before. Instead of a lit fuse racing toward a powder keg, it’s the kind of pleasure that builds slowly. A gradual heat, a tension that winds and coils little by little, a pressure that rises to its absolute limit before it snaps and strikes like a bolt of lightning and leaves your entire body convulsing like rolling thunder. 

Eren’s a good fuck, no doubt about that. That comes from his raging titan-killer side. But the way he makes love? That’s his truest form at play- that singular focus, the determination, the dedication, the emotion. Levi knows he’s a lucky man to be able to receive both in equal measure.

It’s pure bliss to be with Levi like this, to have his arms and legs wound around him, to hear him moaning and sighing his name, to feel his hips rolling in time with his thrusts. Levi looks beautiful with his eyes squeezed shut, how he licks and bites his lips as he focuses on the pleasure, how his fingers clench and his back arches whenever he gets the angle just right and hits that spot inside him.

It’s too good. Levi’s hot, slick insides are gripping him too tightly, his moans are too loud, his kisses are too deep, his tongue too sensual sliding against his own. Eren closes his eyes and drops his head into the crook of Levi’s neck, panting, determined to last as long as he can, to prolong the moment, even if it’s only for one more minute. No matter how badly he wants to come, he wants this to last forever.

He knows it’s not going to, because Levi’s stopped kissing him and his moans are getting shorter and higher with every thrust. He can feel his thighs tensing and trembling around his waist.

“Levi,” Eren groans, slowing his pace in a last ditch effort to hold himself off long enough for Levi to come first. 

"Are you close?" Levi asks in a rush of breath into Eren’s shoulder.

"Yeah,” Eren’s panting and his eyes are still closed with the effort of fighting back the urge. Not yet. Not yet. Levi first. 

"Pull out."

Eren’s eyes immediately snap open and his thrusting stops. He pushes himself up on his hands and gives Levi another round of begging puppy-dog eyes, pouting ever-so-slightly for added effect.

This fucking kid, it’s never enough for him, is it? Look at him, exploiting all my weaknesses, trying to seduce me in front of everyone like that. And fuck, did he ever succeed. He’s the one who played dirty. I behaved. I waited until we were somewhere private. I’m not the one who made him pop a boner in front of his boss. Erwin’s not the only one who deserves a little payback tonight.

"Don't look so disappointed, brat.”

“But–” Eren starts to argue, but Levi isn’t about to let him get a word in before he’s had his fill of revenge.

“As much as I would fucking love to have you blow your load into my guts, I don't particularly feel like riding back sitting in a puddle of your semen."

"That's fair,” Eren says, putting the puppy-dog pout back on the mental shelf until he needs to break it out again. He keeps it within easy reach in case he has to use it later on. Hopefully he won’t have to beg for Levi’s bone like he just unsuccessfully tried to do for his come.

"Bouncing in the saddle like that always knocks it right out of me,” Levi says this very matter-of-factly, not only because it is a matter of fact, but because he’s good at this and knows his casual dirty talk gets more of a rise out of Eren than it does out of Erwin (disappointingly).

"I said I'd pull out." Eren stiffens and looks away from Levi’s face.

"But I know how much you love watching your spunk leak out of my asshole, so…" Cool as a cucumber, and it’s working.

"Okay, I got it." Eren’s starting to mumble now, and his cheeks are regaining their embarrassed flush. 

"When we get back, you can empty your balls into me," Levi continues, pausing before he unleashes his final jab at Eren’s delicate sensibilities. He’s already starting to grin at how easily worked up Eren gets when he does this.

"Levi! I get the fucking point! Maria!” 

There it is. There’s that blush I wanted to see. Time to put him out of his misery.  

"If there's anything left in them." Levi stares unwaveringly into Eren’s eyes as he delivers his line and he waits one more second before concluding it with a wink. It never ceases to amuse him how Eren can lick his fucking asshole without batting an eye, but talking about it is what turns him into a blushing schoolgirl.

Eren groans dramatically, rolling his head and his eyes at the same time.

Levi chuckles and ruffles Eren’s hair. “I love you,” he says playfully, and Eren smiles, but there’s something… off about it. Shit, he’s up to something. 

Levi doesn’t have to wait long to find out what it is, because the next thing he knows is that he can’t see anything past the stars in his eyes and can’t hear anything besides his voice echoing off the walls. Eren just thrust into him so hard that the entire sofa moved across the floor. 

“I love you, too,” Eren says, returning the sentiment just as playfully. His mischievous grin softens into one of genuine happiness, and he kisses Levi’s forehead in apology before he returns to what he was doing. Namely, Levi.

Eren’s thrusts are quick and shallow as they both approach their peak. He opens his eyes when Levi’s arms leave his shoulders, and he doesn’t break his rhythm as he watches Levi loosen the knot at his throat and unwind his cravat. Levi frees the length of fabric from his neck and folds it over in his hand, making eye contact with Eren once he’s done.

Is he…?

“Ready?” Levi asks, unaware of how amazed Eren is that he’s about to jizz into his cravat.

Eren swallows, nods, and pulls out like he promised. Joined in Levi’s hand, they climax within seconds of each other, every exaggerated, pent-up spurt of hot, thick fluid captured safely in Levi’s cravat. 

Levi tosses the improvised jizz-rag onto the nearby coffee table, wiping his hand on the couch before opening his arms, inviting Eren to collapse onto him in a panting, sweaty heap. He can’t remember the last time he had an orgasm like that, and from the looks of it, Eren must be in the same boat. That was like a fucking year’s worth of come, Levi muses, observing the saturated wad of silk that’s slowly oozing its contents onto the table.

“Oi. Don’t fall asleep on me.” Levi nudges Eren, who has gone suspiciously still on top of him. Eren’s groan indicates that he really was asleep. 

Leeeeviiiii,” he whines before dropping his head back down onto Levi’s shoulder to mumble something about why he should be allowed to sleep, though it’s hard to make out exactly what he’s trying to say with his face smashed into Levi’s jacket.

“Come on,” Levi gently urges with a playful shove and a nip of Eren’s earlobe. “We’ve already overstayed our welcome.” 

Eren rolls off Levi, perhaps forgetting that they’re not in a bed, because he rolls off the couch entirely and lands on the floor with a dull thud and a groan.

“Owwwww! Levi! It’s not funny, stop laughing!” Eren sits up and rubs the back of his head with Levi still laughing at him. He pushes himself off the floor, pulls up his pants, then joins Levi in laughter. “Haven’t I suffered enough? First the commander sees–”

Ah, forgot about that.

“Well, guess the cock’s out of the bag now,” Levi sighs as he pulls up his pants, remembering that he’s going to have to talk to Erwin later and pretending like he doesn’t see his cravat bunched up on the table, starting to crust over at the edges.

Eren pauses with his fingers on the button of his trousers to look at Levi. “Cat.”

“Hm?” Levi doesn’t look over, preoccupied with his belt.

“It’s cat. The cat’s out of the bag. That’s how the saying goes.” Having corrected Levi’s grievous mangling of an important colloquialism, he can now button his pants.

“Yeah, but,” Levi says while pulling on his boot, “you don’t have one of those.” Levi puts his foot down and turns to look at Eren, who has stopped mid-zip to stare at him in confusion.

“No…? What does that–“

Levi lifts an eyebrow at Eren, smirking at him for the seventy-millionth time today. He’s chewing on it. The gears are turning. Any second now. 

Eren drops his hands into fists at his sides. “Levi!!”

Levi chuckles. He couldn’t resist. It’s worth the scowl, especially since it’s accompanied by pink cheeks and red ears.

Eren finishes tidying himself in indignant silence. They give each other a once-over, checking for stray fluids and closed zippers. As they begin to make their way to the exit, Eren notices the cravat on the table and walks back to retrieve it. He winces when he picks it up and almost drops it back onto the table, but it’s Levi’s, he can’t leave it behind!

“You forgot this!” Eren says, dangling the damp and rapidly stiffening swath of silk in front of him.

Levi’s nose wrinkles in disgust. “Ugh. Just leave it.”

“It’s just come, it’ll wash out. Here.” Eren offers, extending his arm with the cravat dangerously close to Levi’s face.

“Yeah, but…” Levi plucks the soiled fabric from Eren’s hand, pinching it between two fingers to look it over. “It’s fucking soaked.” He turns it around, assessing the damage, and his nose crinkles again. “And it reeks.” He squints at it. “I think most of this is yours.”

“How can you tell?” Eren asks, snatching the wet cravat from Levi to examine it.

“Because you come like a fucking fountain.” Levi wanted to see Eren blush, so naturally he’s irritated that Eren has his back to him. “What are you doing?”

“I’m drying it off.” Eren crouches down by the fireplace and unfurls the bunched fabric. He then proceeds to flap it in front of the fire, and it takes only a few seconds for both of them to realize his mistake. Eren cringes and coughs.

“Hope the nobles like the scent of dried semen, because that’s not gonna go away anytime soon.” Levi waves his hand in front of his face, but it’s no use. He wouldn’t be surprised if they could smell it all the way down the hall. 

Eren knows he should be embarrassed by this, but he isn’t. Really, he should be. Who wouldn’t be? But somewhere deep down, the darkest, most possessive part of him is cackling with delight. And then, from somewhere even deeper and darker than that, way down in the basest and most primal part of himself, something evil whispers in his ear. Show them who he belongs to. 

“Wear it.”

Levi’s head whips in Eren’s direction and he gapes at him, blinking. “Excuse me?”

“Wear it,” Eren repeats, licking his lips and shoving the mostly dry cravat at Levi, staring him down in a way that’s so disturbing it makes the hairs on the back of Levi’s neck stand up. 

Levi can’t account for the flutter of interest in his pants. The fuck?

“Are you ser–” Levi stops mid-sentence, raising his hand to flick the cravat with his fingers. Unsurprisingly, it makes a sound upon impact. “I can’t wear this.”

“Fine, then,” Eren pulls the stiff fabric away from Levi and folds it into a neat triangle. “Put it in your pocket.” Eren steps forward, arranging the triangle so that it sits in Levi’s breast pocket with the point poking up out of it.

Levi looks down at his chest and frowns at his new erotic pocket square. Sighing in defeat, he turns his eyes back to Eren and promptly rolls them so hard that he’s certain they made a complete 360º rotation in his eye sockets. “Gross.”

Eren grins widely and when they depart their borrowed love-nest, Levi has to elbow Eren in the ribs to stop him from skipping down the hallway.