Chapter Text
🎶So shine if fortune may, upon tomorrow’s way~!🎶
Sono Chi No Sadame~! Da-num Da-num Da-num Da-num!
JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~JO! (Jojo, Jojo, Jojo!)
🎶[HEAD BANGING INSTRUENTALS!] 🎶
Ah yes, the power of Sono Chi No Sadame by Jonathan Young, how it never fails to get me pumped up in the morning! Man, I think I got lost again somehow after taking that first left past Halo and Overwatch, but it's whatever, I guess... The sweet sounds of an electric guitar mixed with a few hardened drums fueled my headphones, blasting a sweet ass melody into my mind which I'm sure everyone could hear because I play my music just a bit too loud, but every time a hard rock cover of a Jojo Opening comes out by Jonathan I just have to download it and play it on loop, it was one of those songs that prompted me to groove, pose and dance about like I actually knew what I was doing. Don't tell anyone I said this but I'm a really shit dancer, and I can thank third grade for scarring me out of the dancing scene for good, so instead of looking like a fool while flopping about with two left feet I decided that constantly punching/kicking the air with some flashy [STAND] poses was the better option since they just looked cooler to do. In my mind I was pretending to fight off the main villain of the alternate universe Part 4 JoJo's villain, DIO, and the man I was pretending to be to fight him off was the version of myself (actually they kind of look like myself but it might just be the hair) known as Jostorm Shijo! A powerful Sutandoyūzā with way more abs on him than someone in a freaking steroid's commercial, and saying that his story arc pretty much follows the same as the original JoJo timeline, but you know minus the dying part by decapitation because Jonathan Joestar was done in dirty! #DiostoleJonathanstits! Anyway, he gets to battle the JoJo Bizarre Adventure equivalent to Dio Brando (Sexy vampire prick) which was named, Neo Nikujo! From what I hear that guy is the most formidable [STAND] user with the power to vibrate his enemy's molecules so fast that they explode, and with a [STAND] name like [Bass Drop] I can tell that he ain't no pushover! All I ever get to fight is narcolepsy and maybe a dragon or two... I let out a defeated sigh against the wall I was leaning against, idling there as a few Xrosbearers passed me by with trophies and war scars from getting to take down bigger baddies than me, but some of the time when I wasn't looking down at my feet I would look up to see some of the whispering about me, and when I would take notice they would fly or run off before I could say a word. B-But enough of that lore dumping, I think it's time to go back to my jams. As soon as I equipped my headphones again to be distracted by my slappin' choice of music, my body quickly got back into the rhythm of a bloodline long since passed so I swiftly threw a punch forward to break through the chains of time, but I think I accidentally threw it a little too hard forwards because the air felt... softer than it usually did? D-Did I accidentally hit something, or someone, without even realizing it? I thought this hallway was empty now... If I did hit something soft then it couldn't have been Vētra Krusta (DOOM Xrosbearer), nor could it have been Traverser par Tempête (D&D Xrosbearer, and my closest L.A.R.P.er pal), but since my brain couldn't calculate the other hundreds, if not thousands of other bastards around here who are way stronger than I am, my body decided to immediately switch into GTFO mode so I could leap away from the potential strike of my unforeseen foe. After backflipping away from the unknown threat, I gracefully landed on my hooves with a cloud of dust kicking up behind me, easily putting enough distance between us for me to take a quick peek at what I was going to battling today; or potentially running from. It wasn't until after I raised my shield that I realized no attacks were coming, leading me to peek out from behind it just to discover that I was still in one piece; the turn of phrase, not the fortune which is not for the taking. Infectious chuckling emanated from behind me which almost made me drop my guard because of its familiarity, but to makes matters worse it appeared as though my sick backflip had spun me around somehow, so with a quick turn to the noise, I readied my skills in the hopes that my opponent was merciful. In a welcoming twist, I was thoroughly relieved to find out that it was just my old friend, Kurosu Arashi (CoC Xrosbearer), the legend himself. Believe or not meeting him was just what I was hoping for, seeing as how he and I are going to be working in the same sector and all, so because of that I'm really hoping he can show me how this new world works, especially since the e-mail I got was more cryptic than Slenderman. But on a lighter note, since he and I are going to be dealing with some of the more "risqué universes" now, that means I can finally hang out with him in my spare time! He lives in the Corruption of Champions universe where everything is all; demon, demon, fuck a bitch, demon, so because of that he's built like an impenetrable (partially), pudgy little tank of lustful desires, but as soon as he hit me with that big, lovable grin of his I immediately realized that he was the guy I ended up hitting. Even with that in mind, my eyes unintentionally gravitated to his moldable breadbasket as it looked so soft to the touch, but when he caught me in the act he swiftly put a stop to it by nestling his sword beneath my chin to raise my head back to a proper position, only for me to fall victim to his emerald dusted blue eyes mere seconds later. Because of all that I couldn't help but blush at his delightful display of kindness, which in turn caused me to chuckle myself into obscurity as I completely misread situation, but what's a little tough love amongst friends, ey? Truth be told, I felt extremely silly about being the one to do it to him, and with a soft apology I backed away slowly as the allure of his feminine physique was getting to me a bit, but he quelled my anxiety by resting his gentle hand upon my shoulder with a few small pats on the head intermingled inside for some much-needed reassurance. Kurosu has always been a chill dude, even from the first day I met him back when I was still in Pony Ville, but I would be remiss if I didn't include the chill master himself, Mailstorm (Undertale Xrosbearer) as a part of my motley crew of idiots. Now that guy is the definition of ice cold.
"🌀Hahahahahaha! Ey, yo what's up my dude?! See anything you like? Hahahaha, just teasing ya kid! But hey, there's no need to look so nervous around me shorty, from what I can tell it looks like you were just jamming out to some really tasty beats over there, but you know you've got to be more careful when it comes down to those powerful strikes of yours man! I mean, you can't just go punching everything you see just because you can, Amiright? Remember what happened to me when I gut-punched Krusta because he was "talking" shit about my boy JoJo that one time? Hoo... BOY! I still can't feel my pussy lips after that one..." Despite the clear ramifications of that being a bad memory for everyone except him, he said it with such a playful tone in his voice like always, even going so far as to give me a little wink just for that extra dramatic flair that he tends to sprinkle in with everything he does, but yeah, that was a thing that happened. It was pretty brutal...
"Y-Yeah I, uh, guess you're right about that, so... Um... S-Sorry about that. Hehe... Ahem!" Even though he never says anything about it, mostly due to the fact that he often forgets about it half of the time, he's kind of a big shot around these parts as he does have a track record of kicking the most ass and fixing the most disputes across multiple dimensions/universes, so even though we are good friends I couldn't help but press my fingers together very sheepishly when I couldn't figure out what to say next to him like a yandere to her senpai. Kurosu and I don't get to hang out like, every second of the day, but when we do, we always have so much fun just sparring or napping together under the stars, and it's so much better to know that he isn't some psychotic megalomaniac whose hellbent on destroying this place unlike some of the Glitchbearers that tend to roam around in the shadows of this topsy-turvy labyrinth. I bet that anyone within a ten-foot radius could tell just from looking at me that I was very nervous around him, but I mean... What would you do if you had a friend who could bench press you into next week, or even outrace you without even breaking a sweat? I partially think it's really hot, but I digress. The dude was a little shorter than me in size, but even with that height disadvantage I... Ne-Never mind. Anyway, Kurosu slowly raised an eyebrow to me before letting loose a subtly dubious laugh, prompting me do the same moments later because again; he kind of terrifies me on a level between horny and fear.
"🌀Look kid, you don't need to apologize, especially not to me of all people. We're good friends and I'm here if you need me, well, not all the time because I got kids at home and they need their mother/father there to take care of them sometimes, but even still you've always been fine in my book my dude! But hey, I hear that you're going to that new 34th universe as a part of your relocation. So, do you still believe you're just a snack, or do you finally have what it takes to be a real lady killer? Eh?! Eh?! Oh, you're a lucky sonofabitch Xros! Now, you best get your stamina up for that beast of a wife you married because she seems pretty feisty today~!" He took his hand off my shoulder and did a little twirl before ending it with some jazz hands, laughing at his cheerful tactics was a nice distraction from my underlying anxiousness towards going to my new home, but my eyes lowered to a familiar sight, blushing to a beet red was all I could do as I stared at his, uh, assets poking out from his armor to show themselves off to the world. To avoid detection, I turned away from his personal predicament which must've signaled him to what was going on as it wasn't long before I just heard this soft, "Fuck me..." coming from my left. Spinning back around to see if he was okay I got to see him in his full glory as he had to fix the now ridiculously visible bulge protruding out of his gelatinous armor, but matters only got more annoying for him when out of nowhere his hefty nipples started poking through as well, and from them came small dollops of milky cream that fell to the floor for every second that they weren't being milked by someone, much similar to the meat sticks that he was trying to hide back in his armor. I don't understand how Lust works in his universe, but I can understand the pain of getting a stiffy in my pants, happens to the best of us and it is a bitch to deal with by yourself.
"Son of a bi-Nononononono! You guys CANNOT be serious right now! Are y'all really gonna to start this shit right in front of my friend?! Come on girls, I'm busy!" He let out a low growl as he facepalmed from the sheer embarrassment that these lactating melons brought him, and it was his leaking member that rested in between his leg that he hated the most, but don't let him hear you say that he shouldn't have been eating stuff off the floor because that pisses him off a lot. Kurosu let out a disheartened sigh while pinching the bridge of his nose, quickly apologizing to me in an almost inaudible tone of voice, and as I stared at his overly voluptuous frame I totally forgot that that was all condensed muscle... I mean, at first glance he just looks like your "average" 5ft tall, horny herm harpy with blue windblown feathers, fairly ashen skin, white ghostly veins protruding underneath said skin, and from what he's told me, or rather, showed me, is that he has to carry around two, eight-inch, horse-like shafts, four watermelon-sized testicles, and two hefty E-cup sized tits. I mean, not only does that sound excruciatingly difficult to fucking jiggle-I mean, JUGGLE every day, but you're also telling me that he has to fuck around with a constantly moistened pussy and an overactive libido, just for the kicks? OOF~! Can we get an "Oof" in the chat boys? Although suffice it to say he tells me quite often that he's still very much a dude on the inside, but even saying that I still can't help but feel these really heavy M.I.L.F. vibes coming from him, well mostly because he never shuts up about his kids which I can understand as I am a father myself, but luckily neither of us are the vibe check guy around here because that's EmojiXross' job. Almost immediately after the thought of EX! crossed my mind I got the strangest feeling like I was being watched by... something. It's a feeling that one can never get used to upon entering a lawless land such as this, where at any moment you could find yourself in a scuffle you cannot win, and many a strange slew of characters roam about within the rainbow-colored hallways, each filled with door after door of varying shape and size unlike the which none has ever seen before, and inside each of them it usually houses warriors, wizards, and villainous entities alike so it was nice/terrible to know that Kurosu wasn't the only one who was feeling the pressure of the entities terrifying aura. So Kurosu and I mechanically spun around towards the presence with sweat coating our raised brows only to spot a singular bright white door adorned from head to toe in emoticons, chatting apps, and broken phones cords which was quietly nestled between the door to the world of Pokémon and the one from Blade Strangers. I don't know who puts these doors in this particular order, but the confines of the Dimensional Hallway have always been a mystery to us all, and I wish I could crack the code to reveal even a fraction of its juicy secrets to the others, but alas, I'll just have to settle with the notion that it's a Green Lantern Corp thing and nothing else. Though as we stared at the pristine white for who knows how long we soon started to notice that it was partially cracked open like something was already trying to come out, and all we could hear from the other side was an unholy symphony of coarse breathing, string after string of numbers and phrases that neither of us knew how to decipher, and the occasional demonic mumbling which seemed to slightly calm my nerves. Heh, "calm"... I turned back to Kurosu to get some advice on what we should do about that thing coming out of the door, but more importantly, what should I do about my relocation assignment since the details on the sheet of paper I was given were extremely vague, but by the time I actually turned to see him he was already long gone from the scene, and in his stead was a large plume of lightning and feathers which looked like something ripped straight out of an old Looney Tune cartoon. The door slammed shut without warning so fast that I almost jumped out of my skin, but before I let anything get too crazy because I'm not in the mood to deal with that crazy shit I immediately let out a loud distressed whinny while bolting out of the vicinity of that cursed location. No way I'm fucking with that place!
"Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, so much NOPE!!!" I think I yelled out "Nope" so many times whilst running far, far away from whatever the hell that was that I nearly forgot what I was going to do next, but hopefully I would never have to talk to that "Xrosbearer", EVER~! I got far enough away to feel safe in my own skin which I must say, getting lost in this place isn't the worst thing imaginable as eventually you end just up resetting to a place you've been before, so after catching my breath a few times due to my poor lung capacity I swiftly collected myself with a few deep breaths before resuming my walk throughout the hallways of every changing doorways and gates. Now that I wasn't in any danger, I took the time to appreciate the doorframe designs which were all cool in their own rights as no one knew who painted them or why they spawn in the first place, but if they were merely a manifestation of the realms energy then I could see that being more the case than anything else, and I soon found myself taking a solid gander at all of the ones that weren't really here before. Well, at least not in the sector that I used to roam. For instance, there sat this large, blocky, stone-filled door with a sword and shield style crest resting upon its top in a shimmering display of light, and upon the front of the shield was this small Creeper face that was seemingly embedded smack dab in the middle of the shield's overall design. Hehehe, 🎶Aw, man🎶. Oh, and there was the door that had all these masks on the front of it with a calendar draped upon the top that was constantly flipping through dates and times, and its red and black color scheme signified that it was not a game, nor an AI challenging you~! 🎶I'm not a phantom! I'm in your face and I'm here to see it through~!🎶 Hehehe, sorry had to get that one out. But anyways, I soon got my bearings together on where I was directionally only to then realize just how expansive the layout of this place really was, which if wasn't obvious to me before it became much more apparent now as it seemed to stretch on for miles and miles, but luckily I just so happened to have bumped into another Xrosbearer that might be able to help me out, and it was the local bartender himself, Mailstorm, the Xrosbearer of Undertale. For an appearance just imagine a stylish mix between Undyne's anime fighting skills, Asgores' strength and kindness along with Sans' sense of humor and teleportin' knowhow. Wait, that's not very helpful. Okay so he's around 6 foot even with a medieval helmet always on his head, and in place of the normal pigtail slot there was this wispy spirit back there that acted like an expression chart displaying cartoonish exclamation, question, and period marks. He wears a normal blue V-neck T-shirt, a pair of long dark blue sweatpants, an anime style scarf around his neck with the hero wind behind it, and a pair of stone and iron infused prosthetic legs. His left arm was replaced as well, and at his hip rested his blade of choice, Rune Breaker. But let's just say that I was more ecstatic to see someone who wasn't scary for a change, so to be courteous I pulled out my headphones and tuned off my music to give him my full attention. Wrapping my headphones up into a neat little bow I swiftly chucked them into my personal pocket dimension, or "inventory" if you will, for later use, and after catching up to him I grabbed onto his shirt to hopefully get his attention, but before I could get a word in he had already teleported the both of us inside the Wayward Souls bar. The Wayward Souls bar ain't no run-of-the-mill personal pub hub world for any old Xrosbearer to just come on by and take a load off, it is THE personal pub hub world for any noble or unholy bastard to stay and chat for as long as they needed to because in the end, who doesn't want to share a drink with some friends, eat some good food, or even share a few laughs from a bad joke or two? Heh. This place is what the OG was talking about just in case any new Xrosbearer got lost somehow (which is usually often as half of the people here have no sense of direction), but the real functionally for this place as I've mentioned earlier is for any lost soul trying to get over the loss of a friend, a loved one, or even just somebody that they used to know by coping with such devastating blows in their own personal ways, but sometimes it's a little more complicated than that. Sure, you could go to the private lounge in the back and blow off some steam with some of the gals, guys, or etc. if you're into that, but if you're angry and need to hit something then there's always the Break Arts Arena off to the side for those who need some extra training, but sometimes you just have to sit down in a booth way in the back by yourself to brood over the destruction of your universe, or a bad break up, one of the two. It sucks for sure, and I am one of those unfortunate bystanders who got kicked out of my world for such a reason, but I've learned to accept that I did all that I could to save that world and those within it... Even if I didn't do too good of a job at it in the first place. I looked to the rest of my bar mates with a sorrowful glare, letting out a heavy sigh as I realized just how depressing that sounded in my head, so I smacked my cheeks and shook my head before getting into the livelier side of this new lease on life! So, whether or not I'm in the mood to contemplate my uncertain role in this distorted place within the sanctuary of a timeless void known as existence, or I'm just ready to chow down on a nice platter of burgers and fries is all the rage here, but despite all that it really is about how we get through the hard times is what I think really matters in the end. Can't appreciate the good stuff if you don't get through bad stuff first, am I right lads? Hehe! Anyways, I cleaned some of the dirt off my hidden glasses before setting them back on my face, and with a few moments of deep breathing I trotted over to the empty stool in front of the bar's counter to sit down before my pal, Mailstorm. Resting my elbow on the counter in front of me with my cheek cradled in my palm I shot him an inquisitive scowl as I was going to ask him if he knew anything on how to get to the 34th Universe's (or Dimension, I'm not really sure how that shit works so please don't judge me) door from here, but as the words graced my lips for a split seconds he swiftly countered the unheard-of question by putting his finger up to my mouth, and because I was raised to wait my turn I politely sat up straight in my chair to await his answer since it looked like he was preoccupied with something else at the moment.
"💀Hey FnaFXros, could you be a teddy bear for me and change the music on the jukebox to play 8bit-Adventure for us, please?" Mailstorm always spoke in a very tired, but very lighthearted tone towards the denizens of his bar keep, which just added to his lazy charm to be honest. Unfortunately not all of us can be so chill as from behind me came the sounds of un-oiled metal and rusted gears grinding against one another with sparks shooting left and right like a morbid Fourth of July party, and not to mention that there were these horrendously continuous sounds of some kind of flesh being squelched underneath it all which unfortunately reminded me of mystery meat going through an unused grinder in gruesome detail, practically enough of a reason to make me and most people in here queasy, if not for the sheer smell of it all then it would have to have been the former! The smell was nothing more than pure, undeniable necrotic decay that practically raped my nostrils without question, making me feel even more uncomfortably queasy as he was forced to scrap his large iron feet across the once pristine wooden floor to get to his destination. FnaFXros, which is just the nickname we like to call him since he's never spoken his true name to us, let out this string of soft, troubling whimpers as he walked his way to the jukebox, letting large trails of unidentifiable bloody excrements flow from the suit's unwashed joints which seemed to almost writhe in agony as they fell away from him, and after a few minutes of struggling to move he eventually arrived at the music box only to begin soullessly staring at it. Something about his twitchy head movements made everyone in the bar nervous, slight heads even turned to the sound of his estranged laughter as he began rummaging through the playlist to get to the song that Mail had requested, but luckily it only took him about five seconds to find the jam and when he did he hesitantly clicked the play button with a weird expression frozen on his face. Soon the room exploded to life with the sounds of a cheerful, retro, 8-bit classic that could make anyone nod their heads to the beat, and with a speedy scan of the room I noticed that a lot of the other Xrosbearers were mindlessly tapping their feet or nodding their heads along to the beat with me, and when the bass would drop we would all pump our fists in the air collectively with a loud "Game On!" backing it up. Getting out the groove for a second, I swung back around in my swiveling stool to finally get some answers out of my cohort, but again I was halted as he put his finger up to my mouth to quiet me. Rude...
"💀Hey uh, FnaFXros, you know you can sit down with us now if you'd like, right? You should leave the standing up to the comedians." Mailstorm said it as calmly as he could towards the big bear himself while filling up another large mug to the brim with the house special, Rotorbeer! (Basically, it's one-fourth root beer, one-fourth orange swirl ice cream, one-fourth elixir from Final Fantasy/Subsequent RPGs, and lastly, one-fourth nanobots for regenerative bonuses. You got to stay healthy in these trying times). But it didn't seem like FnaFXros was in much of a mood to sit down with us because within seconds he merely collapsed onto the floor in a pile of his own scrap metal and bones like some sort of defeated boss sprite, ultimately letting himself get sucked down into this blackened, ethereal pool where no light could reach him, but before the pool could completely claim his spirit he quietly whispered to Mailstorm something that was hard to make out due to all the static interference in his voice box, but if I were to decipher it I think he said something like; "C̸a̵n̸'̷t̶.̴.̴.̴ ̴I̸ ̵h̴a̷v̴e̷ ̶t̸o̶ ̸g̵o̷ ̵s̸e̶t̸ ̵t̸h̷e̷m̷ ̸f̷r̴e̴e̷.̴.̴.̶ ̶G̴o̸o̶d̷.̸.̵.̶ B̷y̶e̷.̶.̵.̸" (Can't... I have to go set them free... Good... Bye...). Well, I'm sure he has important things to take care of, so he slowly faded away from sight with a small wave of his metal talons, and with that he had allowed the ghostly hands of the spirit world to fully consume him, leaving nothing but a faded tombstone in his wake. I blinked a couple of times towards what had just transpired, thinking about how rough some of these guys/girls/blobs lives must be as I thought of what could happen to me in my new world, but I shook off the dust of doubts and worries to focus on what really mattered at the moment, cautiously turning back to the counter I was hoping to finally get some answers from Mailstorm who was chilling with the mug still in hand, and opening my mouth to speak he intercepted me by letting out what I can only assume was a toothy yawn as he always wears that helmet, but after rubbing his visor a bit to get off some of the embers he slid me a mug of Rotor Beer before softly gesturing his hand towards the drink now bubbling in front of me, practically inviting me to drink some of the swirling golden brown liquid that he so eloquently prepared for me. I looked to him for a moment as he was trying to fight off sleep, chuckling quietly to myself when he slipped from his palms to smash headfirst on the counter, but soon my gaze fell to the delicious float resting in front of me, and wasting no time I chugged down the whole sucker in one not-so-easy-to-do swoop. It was slightly harder to gulp this thing down, usually in Pony Ville I would guzzle ciders and milks by the gallon, but I guess my new body may need some work done on it before I can handle the big stuff, although he was selling larger doses this time around so that could also be why I'm not acclimated to it, yet seeing as how this ice cream is dummy thick I couldn't help but want seconds! Pulling back to catch my breath I collected myself before trying again, knocking the drink back harder this time to really work on my stiff throat, and luckily my body can adapt rather quickly so it all ran down my throat with speed and grace in an instant. You know I can't remember who came up with this drink as so many Xrosbearers come and go every single day, but I'm just going to drink this one to the person who did it because the flavors were ecstatically dancing across my tongue with such a playful harmony to them that I couldn't wait to drink another one, hopefully sooner rather than later. Unfortunately, I was trying to be somewhere on some kind of time, so with a large, hearty sigh and a small exhale of starry particles I placed the mug on the counter for Mailstorm to clean while licking my lips in pure joy.
"💀So, I'm guessin' ya liked it, huh?" He quietly whispered while reaching for the mug to clean it, and I nodded with a big ole grin plastered on my face because that stuff never gets old! Softly chuckling to himself with the mug in hand and a towel on his shoulder he placed the mug into the suds-filled sink behind him to scrub it for a few minutes, whereas I simply narrowed my eyes towards the knight in cobalt khakis with elbows pressed onto the counter and chin rested amongst my overlapped fingers, and turning back to me and my serious sight he began to gently dry off the mug I just used while letting out a quick little laugh to himself again.
"💀So I hear that you're looking for the old 34th Universe, right StormXros? Well I must say, you've come to the right guy on that one... I uh-" Mailstorm's words were interrupted by a deafening yawn, followed up by a few smacks of his lips before he near fell over onto the counter to go to sleep, but with a snap I managed to wake him up a little so he could finish his sentence.
"💀Thanks. Anyway, I know where it is and it's not too far from where we are now, so here you go kiddo, take this map here and go find your new home since you're lost. I'm sure this'll help you out since this place is pretty big, but hey, don't be a stranger and forget about your old pal Mailstorm now, you here?" He whispered it to me as the pale blue light of his eyes shined through his silver visor, and with a unseen smile he handed me a small flimsy-looking map that he had previously crammed into his pocket, and looking over the paper with all the locations that we could mark down due to years of collectively traversing these halls proved very useful, and then I spun back to him to see that he was practically beaming with that same unseen, yet brightly lit smile of his, it's probably the best he could offer I'm sure.
"Dude, thank you for the grub and the map, I really appreciate it! But on an unrelated note, how did you know that I needed this for the 34th dimension/universe in the first place? I didn't even ask you about it yet, so how did you...?" My thoughts trailed off as I asked the question, seemingly with a sense of curiosity sprinkled in, but as I glanced up to the bar counter again after putting away the map I discovered that Mailstorm had already teleported away in a stream of data lines and code. Hastily I searched the room for where he had disappeared to because playing Batman like this is not cool for anyone, but it turns out he had just gone off to the bathroom, trailing behind him was a small string of toilet paper attached to his left leg. Letting out a heavy sigh before shaking of my head I simply hopped out of my stool to have a nice stretch with my arms raised to the sky in triumph, and after smacking my lips a few times to taste the Rotorbeer again I headed off towards the exit door of the pub to start my voyage once more, and in turn I-Oh dammit! I completely forgot that I was talking to you guys in a, "I say a thing and you sit there quietly to listen and silently judge me", kind of manner. Honestly, my bad. So, let me see... Ahem! If you didn't catch it before I shall reiterate to you the notions of who I am, and I'll throw in some of my lore since I think you guys are really neat! Howdy, my name is StormXros, 6th member of the Stormbringers clan, wielder of the Star-crossed blade, Gerik, son of Omega Knight and Fluffy Skunkums, and the proud owner of the Element known as Chivalry (From the Tree of Harmony of course). I am what is known as a Xrosbearer, an expansive group of world-hopping beings who fix shit, like the Green Lanterns from the DC comics but without the matching uniforms and stupid mantra! Although that's not to say that we don't have a Xrosbearer who is from DC, who is also a Green Lantern by the way, but I digress. As is tradition with a Xrosbearer, I am from a dimension that no longer exists, and seeing as that's where I'm at in my life now, I suppose it's alright to say that I used to be the Xrosbearer of Dimension MLP: FiM_G5-10122019. A truly magical land full of fantasy and friendship; with all the unicorns and whimsical beasts that my friends and I helped out every day like clockwork, and even though I'm not the best Worldwalker in the business like the original StormXros is, or Kurosu, or Tempete, or... Well, you get the point. In all honesty, even though I'm not the best Worldwalker there is, I'm betting that they've had much rougher times in their lives unlike the ones I've had in mine, despite the fact that I'm currently dealing with the destruction of my old universe as stated previously. Heh, I bet that if his place got destroyed we'd all probably get fucked over in some kind of Crisis on Infinite Earth type of deal, which I pray never comes to pass anytime soon because I'm not prepared for a quantum apocalypse, but the real reason I'm saying all of that is because... Well for starters, the MLP universe that I used to call home got blown up due to a little thing around here called "Plane Fractalization", and if I were to best describe this phenomenon, I would tell you to take two airplanes that were already on fire and make them crash into each other so hard that they atomize one another out of existence! It's... very brutal, I know, but hey, since I'm a survivor of that metaphorical plane crash I'm being relocated to a new sector today because one of the Xrosbearers that originally worked there straight up died protecting it from harm, so I'm guessing that that place isn't... s-so bad? Yeah, that's not really the best way to advertise a place that's supposed to be fun in the sun, but at least she's going to be with me like always... Huh, did you say something? Oh, never mind. Uh, I know you didn't ask this, but if you are a little bit curious about my appearance then I wouldn't mind describing myself to you, if that's alright...? I'll take that silence as a "Maybe, but I'm not going to like it". I am your averagely built 6ft even, blue-furred anthropomorphic pony with a set of retractable wings comprised of ambient lightning, stardust, and metallic scraps that I found on the ground one day, and resting atop my head is one retractable horn which is the main focal point for my equestrian/dimensional magic, but it's not an all the time necessity. Both are actually biomechanical in nature which is indeed a plus during combat as I can transform into an alicorn anytime I want to without needing to go through a "trial of the princesses", or finishing some long lost spell that no ones ever heard of, and thankfully they come across as "normal" to the untrained eye so I never have to explain myself since I'm bad with words anyways. Well as normal as "normal" can get these days. A metallic silver shell runs along the entirety of my spine, practically replacing it all together, that gives me access to a sort of power reserve which is subsequently also linked to my overall health as I was naturally born with a shit lung capacity, and it is also the base of my armor if I were to ever get into a fight with someone or something. The cutie marks that rests on my flank resembles an ancient bastard sword from the medieval era and above the blade is a shield with an X pattern formation on it, but in keeping with the theme of biomechanical knowhow, the shield also partially resembles a small scarab beetle because, ya'know… I got them nanobots coursing through my veins! My hair is a two-toned mess which I can never fix because normal combs and brushes do nothing for it, but it does sport a rather dashing blue center with a black trimmed outliner that rims along the outskirts of both my spiky mane on top and bushy tail on bottom, and under my eyes are two "tear-trails" which I've had since birth and I'm not sure why I have them in the first place, but I do know that they help break illusions and are an indicator of whether or not I'm sad because I'm not a very outwards emotions type of guy. So, I think that about it other than I'm wearing a cobalt Avirex T-shirt and some dark blue sweatpants, but good thing I rambled on for thing long cause I'm finally at the destination I was searching for. The door of the 34th Universe (or Dimension if you only use feet and inches instead of meters and kilometers)! I stood before the massive bastard of a door with my mouth agape from the sheer size alone... This thing was the likes of which I had never seen before, but it was so beautifully sculpted that I couldn't turn away from it no matter what I tried. A painted... lady? Yeah, let's go with that. Anyways, a painted lady sat on the front of the door directly in its center, and from the looks of her design she was an eloquently rendered amalgamation of almost every fetish or kink that you or I could think of... Well, almost every fetish that I can think of. Truth be told, if it did just so happen to have them all then this shit would've needed that PG-13 rating like Alita: Battle Angel and Watership Down, right? Oof! Anyway, the door-frame itself had an ivory-beige trail of "water" flowing down from its blackened sides with locks and chains that were present all throughout the doors overarching decorum, but all of that didn't matter when I turned my gaze to the top of the door-frame, glowing with three white X's tactfully placed at the top of it which definitely gave off a shady nightclub sort of vibe that I was all four since Equestria was all sunshine and lollipops every day, so if I ever wanted a little debauchery in my life, then this would be a pretty good pallet cleanser, all things considered. Not to mention the fact that I-Oh my god, those lights were actually flashing like a strip club! I did not notice that before, mostly because of how slow it was, but damn this is going to be so much fun I can already tell! With one last deep breath I swiftly turned my gaze towards the pure white handles of the gate before me, stretching out my hands to take a firm hold of them both as this could be the place where I make a living, so with a push of the door it opened up to reveal the large shimmering portal on the other side. This is my time to shine and get some street cred from the other Xrosbearers, and I know I'll be flung into the previous Xrosbearers' metaphorical shoes so I'm going to have to be prepared for where it was that he last left off at and when it was that he last left off at, because anything can happen in a world like this I'm sure of it. My body upon touching the portal was immediately greeted by this unsettling bombardment of sights, smells, and... tastes? OK, weird, but I think these are all the things that the previous one left for me to go off of, so shaking my head to focus myself back up on the ominous portal itself, I placed all of my non-essentials into my personal inventory while the memories of my new life began to flood inside of me alongside the memories of my old one. With it all now within my mind I yeeted myself headfirst into the swirling portal of...
The 34th Dimension. A place where porn rules over everything...
- [ End of Prologue. ] -
Chapter 8 also has this link, but I just wanted to be sure you all saw this!