Actions

Work Header

It doesn't fit quite right (but it still feels good)

Summary:

Shouto and Izuku are living together in wonderful domestic bliss. It's absolutely, painstakingly perfect, except for one thing: Shouto's new medication makes it hard for him to get it up. He's worried that his failure in the bedroom will make Izuku lose interest in him. Quite the contrary. Instead, his boyfriend suggests that maybe Shouto take a turn bottoming.

Notes:

This is the fourth part in an ongoing series, and it relies on some previous character development to really appreciate. I would highly recommend reading the first part in the series before starting this one. But hey, I ain't your parental unit. You do what you want.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

"Shouto! To your right!”

Shouto summoned a wall of ice in a desperate bid to block the attack. There had been a jailbreak at one of the local detention centers, and his agency had been called in to help round up a troupe of escaped villains. Just a bunch of small timers that had gotten a lucky break. Literally. Normally he’d have no problem demolishing a bunch of no-name C-stringers. This time, however-

A barrage of quills jackhammered against his ice, shattering through the barrier in no time at all. He hadn’t been able to lay it on thick enough, only a sheet too thin to do more than crack and crumble under the assault. 

With a hiss, he raised his arms defensively. The result was quills sinking all along his forearms. 

Not the end of the world. I can still fight.

With an angry snarl, he summoned his fire. The best way to fight one long-range attack was with another long-range attack. However, when he tried slinging his flames at the target, it fizzled after going a few feet.

That had been happening a lot lately.

Fortunately, his partner was there to take advantage of the distraction he caused. She pounced on the Porcupine Quirk user, and Shouto couldn’t help but wince in empathy. That was a very hands-on approach to something hands didn’t do well against. It had been necessary, though, since apparently Todoroki was incapable of taking down a villain by himself nowadays.

At first he thought it was just a fluke, but it had happened often enough that there was no doubt: his Quirk was on the fritz. It seemed to be getting weaker. Which was bullshit, because now he finally had something to protect. 

The past couple of months with Izuku had been like a dream. A busy, frantic dream, where both of them were constantly scrambling to make it to work, make it to school, make it to appointments, keep their heads above water as they juggled their busy schedules. However, amidst it all they had still found small moments to share together. Sometimes it was a meal, other times it was their morning commute, rarely it was the chance to go to bed at the same time, snuggling up to each other and letting the worries of the day melt away. It was positively, disgustingly domestic, and Shouto enjoyed every minute of it. He was also hyper-aware that if it wasn’t for Midoriya’s night-job at the local gas station, those events would be an even more common occurrence. 

Right now that was Shouto’s end goal: get a raise at work, so that Izuku could quit his shitty job and he could take care of his boyfriend properly. Unfortunately, he was having trouble getting his boss onboard.

“This is the third time this month you’ve been injured,” his boss Quartz mused, looking over the incident debriefing. The man scowled, the crystalline projections he had in place of a proper brow ridge catching and refracting the light. “If this keeps up, I’m not going to be able to send you out in the field alone."

Yeah, that raise is looking further and further away.

“I apologize,” Shouto said, looking straight ahead. “I have been dealing with some medical issues that are currently affecting my Quirk. It should be temporary, though.” 

"Medical issues, huh?" 

Legally his boss couldn't pry, couldn't demand private information, and he was a professional enough man to not hold it against Shouto. However, that didn't make his concerns any less valid. Shouto was becoming a liability. 

What if I keep getting weaker and I lose my job?

The thought curled in his stomach, a tight knot of anxiety he hadn't felt since he was a child: the fear that he wasn't strong enough to protect the people he loved.

"Go home and get some rest, Todoroki," Quartz ordered.

"But sir, it's only midday-"

"You look exhausted. Go rest up."

That was the end of the argument. His boss was a professional in eveery since of the term, and arguing with him would only make Todoroki look worse in his eyes, so he had no choice but to acquiesce. Shouto slunk home, nursing both wounded arm and pride. The cherry on top of the shit sundae was that it was a Tuesday, which meant Midoriya didn't have afternoon classes. So when Shouto walked through the door way too early, of course there would be questions. 

The first was a panicked, "Shouto? You're hurt! What happened?"

Izuku rushed over to him, took Shouto's arms and turned them over, inspecting the criss-cross of bandages. The wounds had been pretty deep, but not wide enough to merit stitches. Just a constellation of hurt across his skin. 

"All part of the job," Shouto said, trying to indicate with his tone that he didn't want to talk about it 

Midoriya took his face in warm, rough hands that smelled of soap and public transit. 

"What's wrong?"

"You mean besides the injury?"

"Yeah. Besides the injury. Something's bothering you."

With hands on either side of his face, it was hard to avoid Izuku's gaze. Shouto still managed it by looking at his feet. He felt the concern rolling off Midoriya in waves, and it made some feral part of himself recoil at the thought. He was strong. He didn't need anyone's pity.

"...it was a rough day at work," he finally admitted.

"Yeah?" Izuku asked, pulling him down those few inches so their foreheads pressed together. "Do you wanna take a bath? That might help you relax."

"... together?"

Shouto felt like a small child, asking for intimacy like this. Growing up, expressing a desire for affection was weakness, a sign you weren't strong enough to take care of your own needs. However, Izuku never mocked him for being needy, and he'd grown bolder about requesting what he actually wanted.

"Of course," Izuku agreed, giving his face one more stroke before turning to draw the bath.

Shouto didn't have a proper furo in his apartment. Growing up in a traditional house, it was a reality he had never considered: the inconvenience of soaking in a small bath. Especially when you added two grown men to the mix, legs tangled awkwardly as they tried to get comfortable. It did nothing to diminish his bliss at feeling Midoriya pressed against him.

It still felt unnatural to let his guard down, to sit still and soak up the feel of Izuku's hands on his body. Shouto felt some of his tension wash away, the tough knot of anxiety in his stomach loosening. 

It's fine. I have Izuku. As long as we're together, things won't be too bad.

"So are you ready to talk about it?"

The tension came back like a rubber band snapping into place.

"...my Quirk is having issues. It's...affecting my performance at work."

There it was, the bitter truth out of his mouth. It tasted like bile and disappointment.

"Do you think it has something to do with the hormone therapy?"

"...yes."

This was a choice tidbit he hadn't uncovered until after the therapy had started. One of the possible side effects that he hadn't stumbled across in his online research, only learning of it on his latest trip to the doctor: sometimes Quirks went a little haywire while the body adjusted itself. Before, his body had relied on Vasopressin, the alpha hormone, to fuel his Quirk. It would switch over to testosterone eventually, once his body learned to produce that on its own.

"Do you...regret starting the medication?" Izuku asked, voice gentle.

"No."

Even with all the shit he was going through, he wouldn't take back transitioning for anything. He no longer woke up every morning feeling like he was about to claw his skin off. That being said…

"It would have been nice to know this was going to happen in advance," he admitted. "It wouldn't have changed anything, but I could have at least been mentally prepared. I might have...delayed the timing a bit, until I was better settled into my career.”

A splish of water as Izuku raised his hand to stroke Shouto’s cheek.

“For what it’s worth, I still think you’re an amazing hero.”

This just made Shouto snort, but Izuku looked so sincere. The boy was always sincere.

“Come on, let’s make sure your wounds are cleaned properly,” Izuku said.

Shouto didn’t think that was necessary. They’d already been taken care of by his agency’s medics, deemed not worth hospitalization. But Shouto was learning that sometimes in a relationship, you did things not because they were necessary, but because they were nice. So he sat back and let Izuku pamper him, handling him as delicately as if he was made of glass. The sensation of someone’s hands on his body was unfamiliar, gentle and kind, nothing burning, nothing hurting.

It wasn’t exactly foreplay, but Izuku’s hands definitely lingered in certain areas. His fingers worked their way from Shouto’s biceps, over the curve of his shoulders, following the v of his clavicle to orbit his nipples. It made Todoroki’s breath snag in his throat, a sharp intake like an unexpected blast of air on a placid day. Shouto did his best to return the favor, running a loofah up the curve of Izuku’s back, enjoying the way his boyfriend preened in response. 

Izuku’s body still felt so strange to him, even though they had seen each other nude plenty of times by this point. Everything about it was just so different from his own body. They were the same species, but sometimes that was easy to forget. Sometimes Midoriya felt like an ethereal being, existing only in Shouto’s dreams, destined to melt away when he woke.

Izuku’s hands ran lower, submerging beneath the waterline to brush against Shouto’s cock.

“You wanna do it?” Izuku asked. The look on his face was positively mischievous, as if he was asking Todoroki to cut class with him. 

“Yes,” Shouto responded. He pulled Izuku closer, splaying his legs awkwardly in the cramped space of the tub. This place definitely wasn’t designed with fucking in mind. That was half the fun of it though, of taking somewhere unsuited and using it anyways. It was a way of christening this place as their own. They’d slowly been breaking in every surface in this apartment with their (often clumsy) attempts at foreplay. It was blissful, being with someone who wanted him, who craved his body and wanted more.

It just sort of sucked that Shouto hadn’t really been up to participating lately. Another side effect of the medicine.

“You feeling it?” Izuku asked, leaning closer even as his hand tightened around Shouto’s cock. The water made everything so slippery, made Izuku’s movements extra weighted. Shouto was feeling it. He was feeling a tight bundle of electricity in his core, making his skin buzz, lighting him up with anticipation. It didn’t reach his dick, though, which remained flaccid in Izuku’s fingers. 

“Keep going,” he urged, placing his hands on either of Izuku’s shoulders, holding him in a white-knuckled grip as his boyfriend continued working him. 

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. He wanted it so bad, and it felt so good, but his prick wasn’t responding. This was normal; this was unavoidable; this was temporary. Eventually he’d get his sex drive back. That’s what all the articles he’d read assured him. A year from now things would be fine. But a year from now Izuku could be gone, moved on to greener pastures, to a man who’s dick wasn’t fucking broken.

“Hey,” Izuku prompted, snapping him out of his thoughts. His hand left the water, coming up without a ripple to cradle Shouto’s face. “Stop getting so tense. It’s fine, okay? Let’s just enjoy it, without worrying about...about getting hard or not.”

That was easy for Izuku to say. Even with barely any stimulation, his dick was functioning fine, perked up enough to peek out of the water like a crocodile lurking half-submerged. However, Shouto knew complaining would get him nowhere, would just be annoying and piss Izuku off. So he did his best to bury his frustrations. He focused on Izuku, turning his attention to his boyfriend's normal, non-shitty body. That was easy. Some rubbing, some grappling, navigating against each other in the narrow space, providing parts of his body for Izuku to rut against. Those were all things Shouto could do. Lately that was all he could do, just an observer to Izuku’s pleasure.

It probably sucks for him, too. Having a partner that can’t do much besides watch.

However, Izuku never said as much. If an outside observer was trying to gauge his pleasure based on his reactions, Izuku appeared to enjoy himself. He groaned and panted and did his best to reciprocate, paying attention to Todoroki's body. It did feel… nice. Even if it wasn't exactly what he wanted, an endless tunnel of low level pleasure instead of a cascade of relief, it was something. It was his and Izuku's.

Midoriya finally came with a soft rippling of water. In the warm rush of afterglow, he pressed their lips together, holding Shouto to him as he rode through the aftershocks.

"You good?" Izuku whispered, lips close enough to brush. "Or do you want to keep going?"

"This is fine," Shouto replied.

We'll be here all day if we wait for me to climax.

So with his wounds soothed but his pride still smarting, they climbed out of the tub. Later that night, as they cooked dinner together, Izuku had news of his own to share.

“So nothing’s official yet,” he said, not looking up from his careful stirring of the broth, “but they need a new inventory specialist at work, and since the only candidates are me, the girl who usually sleeps in the back, and the dude who lets people do coke in the restroom, I think my odds are pretty good.”

“You mean you’re getting a promotion?”

“Yeah,” Izuku replied, puffing out his thin chest. “You’re looking at the new inventory specialist of the Easy Gas All Night Convenience Store. Comes with a 200 yen an hour raise, so I guess you could say I’m bringing in the big money now.”

He followed this declaration with an eyebrow waggle. So much of Midoriya’s humor was rooted in self-deprecation that Shouto honestly couldn’t tell if he was truly proud of himself or not. Shouto knew where he stood, though.

“Hey, that’s awesome,” he congratulated, wrapping one arm around Izuku’s waist and pulling him close. “I bet even if your colleagues weren’t complete duds you’d still get the job. You’ll always be my first pick.”

Midoriya scoffed, pushing against Shouto’s chest playfully, and Todoroki responded by pulling him closer. He placed a kiss to the fluffy crown of Midoriya’s head, revelling in light tang of his natural scent. It felt funny, this warm, woozy feeling of being happy for someone else. Too often Todoroki hadn’t even been allowed to be happy for himself, so feeling it on another’s behalf was uncharted territory. It felt like sunlight was inside of him, radiating outwards.

It was almost enough to override his own bitter disappointment in himself. He focused on Midoriya’s warmth, on the way the other man returned his embrace, small yet firm hands gliding along his back, and tried to ignore the growing disgust he had for himself. Here he was, graduated from one of the best hero schools in Japan, working in his chosen field, and he didn’t have enough money to buy brand name noodles for his and his boyfriend’s dinner. They were eating the cheap generic kind. Shouto couldn’t afford to take care of his boyfriend, and from the looks of it, soon his boyfriend would be the one taking care of him. 

That was great. Except if Izuku didn’t need him, Shouto couldn’t think of any reason why he’d stay around.

 

Shouto didn’t have high hopes when he walked into work the next morning. Although his injury was minimal enough to not detract from his performance, the visible bandages were a mark of shame. He could see his fellow sidekicks eyeing them.

He was working at a mid-tier agency, one prosperous enough to employee a fleet of fledgling heroes like himself. On one hand, it meant there was enough of a crowd that he wasn’t always the center of attention. After years of living under his father’s watchful eye, that was a relief. However, it also made it harder to stand out, which was what he needed to do if he wanted to be promoted to full hero anytime soon. 

"Hey Todoroki-san, you've got like half a mummy cosplay going on," one of his fellow sidekicks, a woman with a light manipulation Quirk, popped up next to him. "What gives? Did you get injured again?"

Again. He was gaining a reputation as the person always involved in accidents. 

“‘S nothing,” he mumbled, doing his best to radiate unfriendly vibes so the woman would go away. 

However, she wasn't the only one to take note of his bandages. Shouto could feel eyes on him as he went about his business. People watching, judging. When it came time to suit up for patrol, his boss placed one crystalline hand on his shoulder.

"We've got a bit of a paperwork backlog," he said, voice sickly sweet, so damn patient and understanding. "Could you play desk jockey for us today?"

A wash of panic rolled over him, making his gut too warm and his mouth dry. Desk duty. Punishment for being a failure.

"Sir, with all due respect," Shouto said, picking words slowly. Deference to authority didn't come naturally to him. "I'm slow at paperwork. I think I'd be more efficient in the field."

The words tasted untrue in his mouth. He had been absolutely useless in the field lately. If he was in charge he'd put himself on the back burner, too.

"It's important to be comfortable in all aspects of the job," Quartz rebuffed. "Think of this as training."

That was a lie. It had to be. None of the other new recruits we're getting similar "training." Pushing the point would only make him seem petulant, so Shouto huffed and resigned himself to his fate.

As he waded through paper after paper, signing things in triplicate and jamming the printer no less than five times, he had plenty of time to stew.

He was a failure. He was never getting that raise, or that promotion, and surely once Quartz saw the purplish spot on the carpet where Todoroki had tried and failed to add more ink to their demonic excuse for a printer he'd probably get canned. Then once he didn't have a job he'd have to go crawling back to his father.

That's not true. Maybe with his new raise Midoriya could be my sugar daddy.

But Shouto was done letting anyone control him. Besides, he wasn't about to be dead weight for his boyfriend. He was sure Midoriya would waste no time in dumping him. Midoriya didn't need him. No one needed him.

He repeated the negativity like a mantra, bouncing around in his head until he was almost sick with it. By the time lunch rolled around, he felt a migraine coming on. Usually he ate his instant noodles in a quiet corner of the break room before catching a quick power nap at his desk. As it was, he felt like he might catch on fire if he stayed in the building and had to see the other heroes coming back from patrol. He needed out.

He texted Izuku.

T: What are you doing for lunch?

T: I thought maybe I could come down and take you out somewhere. Like a lunch date.

M: Aw, but doesn't that mean you'll spend most of your break commuting?

T: It's worth it. I could really use a friendly face right now.

M: What happened?

T: Nothing.

T: I just

T: Sorry, I'm being needy.

M: Then come be needy <3

With Midoriya's explicit permission, Shouto wasted no time in hopping on the next train. His agency wasn't too far away, 15 minutes if everything ran smoothly. He’d make the trip more often if he wasn’t worried about bothering Midoriya. The man usually crammed on the slim gap he had between classes, and demanding more time from his busy schedule was selfish and greedy and Shouto couldn't help himself.

When he saw Midoriya across the grassy field of the quad, it was like the sun peeking through the clouds after a storm. Shouto did his best to stay neutral, to not pull Midoriya into a hug right there in public and smash their lips together.

"Hey," Midoriya greeted. He reached out and took Shouto's hand in his. "So what's up?" 

"I just… wanted to see you," Shouto replied. Frankly, it was hard to remember exactly why he had been so stressed when he looked into those endlessly green eyes. A pool of absolution, taking all his worries and holding them gently beneath the surface until the bubbles stopped. 

The barest corner of Midoriya's lip turned up in a wry smile. Rather than question Shouto further, he tugged the two-toned man through campus, leading him to an outdoor stand hawking crepes. A lifetime of other people preparing his meals meant Shouto had never actually stopped at a stall like this. He took a moment to stand dumbstruck, processing as the customer in front of them ordered something that looked like it contained more whipped cream than crepe. It looked like it would make him sick. He wanted two.

“Here, let me treat you,” Midoriya said, pulling out his wallet.

“What? No, it’s-”

“I insist,” Izuku said, nudging him. Shouto wanted to argue further, but the lone employee of the stall looked at them expectantly and he didn’t want to quibble publicly. So all he could do was watch as Midoriya handed over his hard-earned money, and suddenly every feeling of inadequacy came crashing back. He was weak. He was useless. He was a burden. He was-

“Hey, are you a Hero?” crepe man asked. He was eyeing Shouto’s uniform, which admittedly was a little too flashy and possessed a few two many bulletproof armaments to be street clothes.

“Not really. Just a sidekick for now,” he explained, taking the crepe and not looking the man in the eyes. Truthfully he wasn’t feeling much like even that. The only action he’d seen today was wrestling with office equipment, as evidenced by the criss-cross of papercuts on his hands. However, the man hummed and peered even closer. Shouto was quick to escort Midoriya away, ushering him to the shade of a nearby tree. 

“Wow, I guess I should be prepared to become a satellite celebrity if I keep dating you,” Izuku teased. 

“I wouldn’t count on it,” he grumbled. He had barely nibbled at it, but already the crepe tasted sour in his mouth. He picked at the edges, watched as the whipped cream sagged under the summer heat.

Next to him, Izuku shifted closer. Dappled green shade mixed with his freckles, fell across the soft sweep of his jaw. The other man reached out and traced the lower edge of Shouto’s lip, touch as light as the breeze stirring leaves above them. His fingers caught a fleck of whipped cream, and he pulled back, pressing the tip of a finger against those lips and licking. Todoroki wasn’t sure if he was intentionally being so damn erotic or if he was just oblivious. Not like it mattered. As much as Shouto liked the sight, his dick was uninterested in the proceedings.

“Are you ready to talk about what’s bothering you?” Izuku asked. As always, he was the perfect picture of understanding and patience, but Shouto saw the downward turn of his mouth. Of course it was frustrating, to constantly hit against the emotional brick wall that was supposed to be your partner. But Shouto’s slate surface was cracking, stress fractures groaning in protest until he had no choice but to spill.

“I don’t think I’m good at my job,” Shouto admitted. And then, since his mouth was already making words, “I don’t think I’m a good partner for you.”

Izuku’s face fell. Sad, of course. That was all Todoroki made him lately.

“Shouto, don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re just going through a rough patch.”

Instead of responding, Shouto sighed and looked down. It wasn’t worth starting an argument over. He just watched the crepe collapse in on itself under the summer heat.

 

“So your heat is tonight, right?”

Midoriya looked up from where he was pouring over his textbook, yellow highlighter absently brushing his chin and leaving behind neon dots. 

“You’re more diligent about tracking my heat than I am,” he said, amused. 

“Well, you wouldn’t remember to ask for work off if I didn’t.”

Midoriya scoffed, turning back to his textbook. The highlighter darted out, ran along whatever choice words he’d found. Even as his eyes roamed the pages, he rebutted, “Yes, okay, I get it mom. I asked for the night off last week.”

“Good. Because remember last time when you leaked slick through your pants?”

Izuku winced. Shouto didn’t think it was that bad of a memory, considering he’d gotten to suck his boyfriend’s dick. Granted, the gas station restroom wouldn’t have been his first choice of location, but… it wasn’t his last. 

As Shouto finished preparing dinner (he had the difficult task of reheating leftovers and opening a can of veggies), Midoriya continued his studying. There was the dry wsh of highlighter over paper, the soft flick of pages turning. It was so comfortably domestic, the two of them going about their business in the same space. Of course Shouto had to ruin it.

“So what do you want to do about… tonight?”

Again Midoriya looked up, eyebrows almost meeting in the middle as he contemplated.

“About what? My heat? I kind of just assumed we were going to have sex,” he said. “I mean, we don’t have to if you don’t want to. I’ve dealt with heats on my own before.”

Izuku phrased it as if it was a choice. As if it wasn’t a given that Shouto wanted to be there, to help his boyfriend and have sex with him and maybe be useful for once.

“Wanting to isn’t really the issue. It’s more of… not being able to,” he explained, gesturing broadly to his lower half. Shame lit up his face, hot and uncomfortable.

Closing his book, Izuku crossed the room and placed his hands on Shouto’s shoulders, framing him with his arms in a way that was probably intended as comforting, but just made Shouto feel boxed-in.

“Hey,” Midoriya called softly, prompting Todoroki to look up. “I promise it’s not the end of the world if you can’t get it up, okay? We’ll work through it together.”

Shouto nodded. He didn’t believe Midoriya for a second, knew this was one more test he was going to fail, but there was nothing else he could do. All that was left was to wait for his heat to kick in.

Midoriya went about his business like nothing was amiss. All the while, his scent grew stronger. It wasn't like before, when Shouto's alpha hormones were in full effect. Instead of an aphrodisiac inhalant, it was more like spending too long in a soap factory. Everything was a little too much.

To another alpha the scent would be unbearable, like rot and decay. Shouto had passed claimed omegas on public transit a few times, running errands right before their heat, and the smell had been enough to make him wrinkle his nose in disgust. It hadn't bugged him lately. He wasn't part of that cycle anymore. 

Free from one kind of bodily captivity, trapped in another. If he still had his alpha hormones, Midoriya's scent alone would be enough to have him hard. Now all he had was a cold stone of dread in his stomach. He watched Midoriya move about the apartment, tried not to think about his own impending failure, of Izuku undressed and waiting and him impotent and useless.

"Well, it's about that time," Izuku declared, shutting the dishwasher. "My underwear is quickly shifting from a little bit damp to drenched."

"Thank God slick doesn't stain, right?" Shouto said with a nervous chuckle. 

"Yeah. It does get kinda crusty if you let it dry, though."

"Mm. Kinda glad I wasn't born with an omega body. Heats sound annoying."

"They're not so bad, if you have the right person to spend them with," Izuku countered with a playful smile, taking Shouto's hand and tugging him towards the bedroom.

Todoroki forced a smile on his face, pretended that he wasn't one step away from panicking. This was it. Time to disappoint.

Izuku had brought his bed with him when he moved in. It was small, and creaked under the combined weight of their bodies crawling onto it. Already Izuku's hands were slipping under his shirt, playing with the skin right above his belt. 

Nothing. 

Shouto tangled his hands in Midoriya's hair, pulling gently so that his head tipped up, his mouth fell open. Their lips met, warm and right. Pressed close like this, Shouto felt the joyful pitter patter of Izuku's heartbeat. 

Still nothing.

Izuku's hands tugged Shouto's shirt over his head, leaving him cold for mere moments before they were pressed together again, the heat of Midoriya's body keeping him warm. His skin was flushed and felt like a summer's day. Heat was as much a literal description for the influx of hormones as a metaphorical one.

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

As Midoriya ground slowly against Shouto's body, he tilted his head and directed Shouto towards his neck. The claiming bite was still there, healed yet florescently red. Beneath the patina of scar tissue was his scent gland, begging for Shouto's attention, his mouth. Shouto eagerly complied. He swiped curious tongue over the surface, taking in the taste. He remembered the first time he'd pressed lips to the surface, how electric it had been. Now?

Nothing.

"I'm sorry," Shouto said, pushing back so there was some space between them. "I-I don't think it's working. Nothing's happening."

"Hey, breathe," Izuku shushed. He put his hands on Shouto's shoulders, forcing them to relax. "We just started, okay? We don't need to rush it."

"It doesn't matter how much time we take," Shouto growled, "it isn't going to work. It's not a matter of- of going slow or whatever. I just- I can't do it, okay?!"

He had raised his voice without meaning to, shouting the last couple of words loud enough they resounded through the room. Anger, hotter than anything he'd felt since starting hormone therapy, coursed through him. He hadn't realized how calm he'd been the last couple of months until it came crashing back, the low broil of rage that baked his brain and prevented him from seeing clearly. An old unwelcome guest come to call once more.

What he wasn't familiar with was the prickle in his eyes, the feeling like the covers had been ripped away from him and he was suddenly overexposed and defenseless. Confused, he rubbed at one eye and-

Crying. That's what I'm doing. How pathetic.

Gently, Midoriya reached for him. Shouto wanted to run away. He wanted to be held. He didn't want anyone to see him like this. He wanted someone to tell him it would be okay.

Pulling him into a hug, Midoriya pressed him close and rocked minutely back and forth. His hand snaked up to Todoroki's head, playing with his part out of habit. It had become a bedtime ritual, for Midoriya to rearrange Shouto's hair until one of them fell asleep. It had conditioned a Pavlovian response of relaxation into Todoroki, and his breathing slowed, the frantic storm of energy in his lungs dissipating. Now he just felt childish.

"Sorry," he mumbled, attempting to pull back. Midoriya didn't relinquish his hold. 

"Shouto, we don't have to do this if you don't want-"

"I do want to," Shouto replied. "That's the problem. I want to, but I can't."

He sniffled- a wet, disgusting sound. Everything about his body was reprehensible. It didn't matter how many hormones he took. Nothing could fix him.

Izuku continued stroking his hair, making comforting noises under his breath. Shouto imagined how frustrating this was for him, having to sit in a wet puddle of his own slick, desperately horny but having to calm a hysterical boyfriend instead.

"You know, there's a lot of stuff you can do that doesn't require an erection," he suggested. "Would you be interested in maybe… letting me top tonight?"

Shouto's brain shorted out, a break so sudden he forgot he was crying. His mouth made noises unbidden.

"I- uh, yes, but-"

But that wasn't what Midoriya needed to get through his heat, but Todoroki had never done it before, but he was still worried it would be a black hole of endless frustration. 

But he wanted to.

"Is that okay?" Midoriya asked, pushing the hair away from Shouto's left side so he could ghost his lips across his scar. 

Shouto nodded. He still couldn't figure out how to get his mouth working again. This just put a smile across Midoriya's face. He pressed a kiss to Todoroki's forehead while pushing lightly against his shoulders, angling him down until he was lying on his back.

"Let's take your pants off, okay?" Izuku asked, fingers skimming along the hem.

It was surreal, to lie back and let Izuku take the lead. Granted, he'd usually took his cues from the smaller man, since he lacked practical experience. But not like this, not lying down and letting hands guide him, his only contribution canting his hips so Midoriya could slide the fabric off.

"Have you ever done this before?" Shouto asked. "Topped, I mean."

Midoriya played with the band of his briefs, sliding the elastic around. His eyes were fixated on the swell underneath: Shouto's cock, still flaccid. He brushed two fingers down its length. Shouto shuddered. It wasn't unpleasant, just… different, when he wasn't aroused.

"There was an omega in foster care, after mom died. He was like me, not interested in mating or anything, so sometimes when he was in heat he'd invite me to his room and we'd fool around."

Even though he'd never considered it, it wasn't hard to imagine Midoriya, young and ever eager to assist, helping out a fellow omega like that. He didn't have time to dwell on that thought, though, because Midoriya dragged down his underwear. He hissed at the cold air, his left side kicking to life like an old radiator to keep him warm.

"Let me get the lube, okay?" Midoriya said. 

He stretched himself out towards the night stand, body brushing against Shouto's on the way. It sent little sparks of anticipation through him, electric dots of fear and excitement. That feeling took a quadratic curve as Midoriya pulled back, brandishing the bottle of lube.

"It will hurt a little," Midoriya warned. "Just at first. We'll go slow. If it's too much, tell me and I'll stop, okay?"

Shouto nodded. Words were still touch and go for him. Silent, he watched Midoriya, eyes caught on every minute movement. Popping off the cap, Midoriya squeezed a dollop onto his hands, letting it sit there for a few moments. That meant when he began to rub it into Shouto's skin, it was the same temperature as his lover. Shouto let out a satisfied moan, opening his knees wider.

"Can you lift up just a little for me?" Midoriya instructed, voice quiet and confident. "There, just like that. You're doing so good."

The words went straight to Shouto's stomach, butterflies tickling his insides all over.

Will the butterflies still be there, when Izuku puts his dick in?

He'd have to survive the fingers first to find out. Midoriya pressed his index to Shouto’s hole, forcing a little gasp out of him.

"It's okay, you've got this," Izuku reassured.

The finger slid further in and it wasn't quite pain. A discomfort, but with Midoriya smiling at him like that, so soft and proud, it was hard to feel anything but satisfaction.

"How are you doing?" Midoriya asked.

Todoroki had to take several deep breaths before he could speak.

"It's… I'm still not getting aroused, I don't think."

"That's okay. Don't worry about that. Does it feel okay?"

"Y-yeah. It's nice."

Midoriya made a low sound of amusement and the cloud of butterflies in Todoroki’s stomach became a storm.

He's so fucking perfect.

Midoriya moved his finger, and Shouto could feel the nubby callus he had from where he held a pencil, bumpy and firm against his squishy insides. Shouto had never stopped to consider how tender the inside of his body was, only because it was always there. But with a foreign presence inside, now he had something to contrast it with. He felt his own softness for the first time, and it made him keen.

As slow as ice thawing under the onslaught of sun, Izuku opened him up. There was caution in his fingers, moving gently so as not to hurt him. Shouto didn’t think that was necessary. In this moment, with all of Midoriya’s attention on him, he felt as if he was unhurtable. 

Midoriya leaned forward so he could whisper in Todoroki’s ear, “Let me get out of these pants, and then the real fun can start.”

A full body shiver ran through him, only increasing as Izuku pulled away. His fingers slid out, and Shouto felt their absence with more clarity than he had felt their presence. A light touch of air where air had never been before, exposing him in ways he hadn’t thought possible. He wanted something in there, if only to protect against the sensation of emptiness. 

Izuku shed his clothes, wriggling out of them like a puppy shaking water from its fur. 

I’ve seen him undress so many times. You’d think at some point it would stop feeling like I’m seeing something magical. 

But even the slightest shift in context made him consider Midoriya in a whole new light. This time he had new things to focus on: namely the man’s dick. That was what was going to go inside him. It was flushed now, the onset of heat making it fully erect without even trying. Todoroki couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealously. Of course, there was no sense being too envious, when between the two of them… 

Omega hormones don’t really encourage cock growth.

Izuku wasn’t miniscule, but his shaft seemed… manageable. Not enough to make Shouto quiver in fear. A good dick, enough to fit in the palm of his hand (as he’d done many times) and with just the barest hint of freckle on it, too.

“The most important part is to relax,” Midoriya explained. 

He slipped between Shouto’s legs, hands gripping under each knee so he could arrange him properly. 

“All right, take a couple of deep breaths with me,” he ordered. His voice was so soft and kind, but absolutely sure of itself, and it turned Shouto into a puddle on the mattress. Right about now, he’d do anything Izuku asked. So he puffed out his chest, matching the rhythm the other man set. In. Out. In. Out.

Izuku pushed forward, and Shouto felt the tip press against him, warm as candle wax. It was followed by a soft burn. Todoroki was familiar with burns. He had the mark on his face to prove it, not even counting the dozens of other notches along his skin, the results of harsh training etched into him. Burning had defined most of his life. 

This wasn’t that sort of burn. Rather than klaxxon sirens in his brain, it was like stepping into too hot water. All he had to do was stand still and bear it, let it sink into his bones until he acclimated.

Midoriya was as deep as he could go, and Shouto felt the squishy press of his scrotum, nudging up against his tailbone.

“I-Izuku,” he groaned. He had to say something, had to let out some of the energy building inside him, but his lover’s name was the only thing he could think of.

“I’m here. You’re doing good.”

Midoriya repositioned his legs, showing Shouto how to wrap them around the clean lines of his hips. Like that, it was easy to grip Izuku, pull him close and keep him there.

“Is it okay if I start to move?” Izuku asked. 

“Yes. Ah, fuck, I think I’m feeling… something.”

His dick was still soft and useless, but there were other sensations running through him. When Midoriya started to pump, slow and steady, it was impossible to think about anything else. His world narrowed to the feel of Izuku dragging in and out, almost painful but never unpleasurable. He didn’t have time to think about what his cock was or was not doing.

“You’re so cute when you finally let go,” Midoriya observed. “Just relax. I’m going to take care of you, okay?”

No one else. No one else would ever be allowed to see Todoroki like this, vulnerable and weak. Under Izuku’s eyes he felt no shame, only the urgent desire to please this man, to keep the soft litany of praise pouring out of his lips. 

“C-can you find the s-spot you really like?” Shouto gasped. “My p-prostate?”

“I’m trying,” Izuku promised. “You need to be aroused before it gets really sensitive, and I don’t know if that’s going to happen. Don’t worry about it. Just focus on what’s good now.”

So Shouto did. He coiled his legs tighter around Midoriya, felt the muscles in his boyfriend's back shift and flex with each purposeful pump. He listened to the sounds of the omega’s breathing, hitched and desperate. He was doing that. As much as Izuku was wrecking him, he was returning the favor, turning the other man inside out with pleasure. 

“Are you close?” Shouto asked.

“I’m- it’s getting there. It’s hard during my heat… without anal stimulation.”

Shouto could handle that. With a flex of his legs, he pulled Izuku forwards until they were chest to chest. From there, it was a simple matter to reach with one hand and slip a finger inside. He’d had a lot of practice fingering Midoriya, and the man was so wet and loose during his heat that one finger slid in with no more resistance than a dolphin breaching the surface of the water.

“Oh fuck! That’s it!” Izuku exclaimed.

And then the almost-too-warm candle wax sensation was replaced with onsen-soak to his insides, warm and sudden. Midoriya bit his lip as he came, but a long groan leaked out. Shouto himself felt a tingle, a sort of full body wave of contentment. Maybe not orgasm, but a sort of release. Whatever happened was enough, more than he’d had in a while. 

They tangled together, panting. Somewhere along the way Izuku’s hands had slipped underneath Todoroki, holding him close, and Shouto returned the favor. They held each other as the rest of the world fell away, until it was just the two of them alone in the universe.

Eventually there was a readjusting, Izuku slipping out of him as his arousal subsided. Even through that they didn’t let go of each other.

“Wow,” Izuku breathed. “That was something else.”

“Good?” Shouto asked.

“Yeah. Definitely. You?”

“Yeah,” Shouto agreed. “It was pretty good.”

Midoriya pillowed his head on Todoroki’s chest, inhaling his scent. His eyes were half-lidded, drooping with pleasure. Shouto had done that. Even if his own orgasm was still a distant dream, at least he could do that for his partner. 

“It’s nice to know I’m still good for something,” Shouto said, fingers idly combing through Midoriya’s hair. 

This spurred Midoriya to raise his head, a frown fracturing his blissful expression. 

“Shouto,” he chided, pushing himself up a little, “you know it’s not healthy to think about it like that, right?”

“Like what? That I shouldn’t take more than I give?” he scoffed. “I just want this relationship to be equal.”

Midoriya considered him for a second, face twisted in a mixture of sympathy and contemplation. Finally, he reached forward and took Shouto’s face in his hands. His elbows were hard points pressed into Shouto’s sternum, but his eyes were even harder, cutting into Todoroki’s core.

“Look, I’m not keeping track of who gives what, okay? And neither should you,” Midoriya said. “It’s not- you can’t make all your relationships transactional.”

That didn’t sound right to Shouto. His father had always taken a very quid pro quo approach to human interaction. Although Todoroki aimed to be kinder, his method was aiming to give as much as he got, instead of demanding that others provide reimbursement for every little thing he did. He always repaid his debts, never demanded more from others than he was willing to contribute himself.

“I just want things to be fair,” he replied, confused. 

“Yeah, but… sometimes they can’t be,” Midoriya said, exasperated. “You’re going through some stuff right now, and you need to spend a little more time on yourself, so you have less to give to others. That’s okay. I don’t give things- money, affection, whatever- I’m not handing you things because I see you as some sort of emotional piggybank or investment, and I want them repaid with interest later.”

Midoriya’s thumbs made lines across Todoroki’s cheekbones, tracing over his jaw. His expression was equal parts frustrated and tender, and it did confusing things to Shouto’s stomach. The butterflies stirred. Midoriya leaned forward and placed a brief kiss to Shouto’s lips, before pulling away to speak again.

“This relationship isn’t about who gives more. It’s just about each of us giving what we can, not because we want something back, but because we care about each other, and we want to help.”

“I-”

I have never seen a relationship like that. I don’t know if it’s possible for me. But I want it to be.

“I can… try.”

Midoriya didn’t seem in the mood for an extended lecture. He returned to resting his head on Shouto’s chest, breath leveling out as he came down from his heat. Shouto wanted to stay like that forever. Nothing could be more perfect than this.

“I love you,” Midoriya murmured into his chest. “You’re kinda a goofus sometimes, but I love you.”

Ah, I was wrong again. That is how it could get more perfect.

He hugged Midoriya tighter, whispered back, “I love you too.”

He still had no idea what he was doing, or if he was worthy of Midoriya’s affections. However, he was determined to try with everything he had. For once, he felt like that might be enough.

 

Notes:

I wrote ANOTHER bottom Shouto omegaverse fic that's a little bit darker than this one if you're interested.

Or if you want more super fluffy TodoDeku porn, check this out.

I also write plenty of spicy Twitter threads if you want to follow me there.

I also have a writing server where I share WIPs and early versions of my fics. I'm hoping to use it to vote on what updates people want to see. Fill out this form if you want to join the party.