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What You Deserve

Chapter Text

Sam stared blankly at the BB pod, his blurred reflection staring back at him through the screen's shine. He could not bear it to turn it on, could not suffer to see the infant's lifeless body floating within it, dead and silent. Sam exhaled, a long, trembling breath, and watched as the black screen misted. By force of habit, he hung the pod to the incubator on the wall. For all the good it'll do her.
Part of him almost expected Louise to come back as he fumbled at the cables and hooked her up. For a split second the screen lit up, and a tiny hand pressed against the glass, reaching for him. Sam's breath hitched in his throat as he reached back, desperate fingers gripping the pod so hard his knuckles turned white. But Louise remained stubbornly dead. Sam rocked her pod with a flick of his finger, watching as the infant continued to float, bathed in gentle light.


Sam backed off, letting the pod shut itself down again. Placing Louise back into the incubator would slow the necrosis, but soon enough Sam would have to deal with her disposal, lest he left behind yet another crater.

“How the fuck has it come to this,” Sam cursed aloud, fists clenched hard on his lap, watching as nails dug into flesh, leaving reddening marks in their wake. It didn't hurt. Sam ran a hand over his shoulder, kneading at raw skin and sore muscle. His battered body was so sore he could have screamed, but even that pain seemed numb.

“I screwed up, Lou.” Sam hissed. “Screwed up real bad.”

Tears welled up in his eyes, streaming down his face and washing the tar away. Dark splutters fell onto his lap, a grim reminder of his stranding, when the Beach sucked him in for what felt like eons. His heavy lids closed of their own accord, and Sam gladly allowed his mind to wander, though all he could hear was a cacophony of sounds, of voices, dotted by Louise's happy, senseless babbling and gurgling. Sam could see her, crystal clear against the darkness, huge green eyes crinkling as she smiled. He could see Amelie too, her fragile form no more than a blur in the backfround. Green eyes, grey eyes, and blue. Sam's head lulled forwards as the chaos sucked him in, and the stream of thoughts became feverish. The Quipu at Amelie's throat snapped as blue eyes bore into him, and a black hand reached from the depths. Masks and hands and eyes whirled around him, drawing him in further, and a raspy laugh echoed, weak and distant.

“Oh, Sam. What have you done to yourself now?”

Sam snapped out with a gasp, one hand fumbling at his face and pushing damp strands of hair off his forehead. A dream, only a dream. His room was as empty as he'd left it, save for Louise's pod. Yet the air felt different. It hung heavy, and Sam had to suck in a breath to make sure he could still breathe. Static snapped at his skin, hard, and he stifled a groan.

“Don't be shy,” the voice echoed, stonger this time. “Let me hear you.”

The static snapped against Sam's back, hitting the scarred flesh of his shoulders, where his carrier's straps had dug into his skin, red and raw. A jolt of pain coursed through him, and a low groan broke from his lips.

“That's more like it.” The echo purred.

Sam whirled around, one clenched fist raised high, but he only managed to hit the air. Frustration pooled low in his stomach, as the unwanted visitor jumped through the static, chuckling in amusement.

“Now you're just being rude, Sammy-boy.”

The echo was stronger still, and this time Sam knew at once who he was dealing with. A revenant. A fragment of his imagination. It had to be.

“Go to hell, Higgs.” Sam snapped. “You're dead.”

“Ah, yes, there is that.” The echo mocked as static filled the air once more. “Turns out it is rather hard to stay dead if the Bitch herself wants you alive.”

Sam jumped to his feet, fists clenching as he scanned the room, ready to silence that bastard's voice for good. Higgs, however, was quicker. Another chiral jump and the bed creaked under the man's weight. A well-placed kick caught Sam between the shoulders, hitting his spine so hard Sam doubled over, struggling for breath. Quick fingers grasped at him, locking his wrists together. Sam jerked forwards, but he ran out of breath and lost his balance, falling hard on his knees.

“Amelie?” Sam hissed between clenched teetch. “Why would she bring you back?”

Sam could hear Higg's grin, as surely as he could feel the Strand weaving tightly around his arms and wrists.

“It wasn't so much about bringing me back as it was kicking me out,” he explained, humming approvingly as a careless finger traced along the rope that bound Sam's wrists. “Eternity is a long, long time, and I don't think she was about to spend it with me, of all people”.

Sam groaned impatiently. He had more pressing issues to attend to, other than listening to the rambling of a madman. A dead madman. But he was tired, as if all the fight in his body had left the moment he lost Lou. Static snapped again and this time Higgs faced Sam, a mocking, lopsided grin stretched across his lips. Tar streamed down his eyes and onto his lips and neck as Higgs sauntered towards Louise's pod.

“That kid of yours... It ain't coming back, am I right?”

“Fuck you.” Sam spat, scrambling to get back to his feet.

“Oh, no no. No you don't, darling.” Higgs jumped again, and this time his knee caught Sam square in the chest, forcing him back onto his knees. Sam chocked and gasped for air, pain radiating through his body.

“Such a shame,” Higgs resumed, undaunted. “It's almost like everything you touch goes to shit, Sammy boy.”

A hand balled into Sam's hair, jerking his head back and holding it in place.

“My face, for example. Just look at it.” Higgs hovered over Sam, forcing his head back until Sam looked. Purple bruises had begun turning yellow, marring Higgs' jaw and collarbone. Part of his cheek was scratched raw, and a scar was forming where his upper lip had split.

“All in all, I'd say you got lucky,” Sam bit back. “I went easy on you.”

This time Higgs laughed, tightening his grip on Sam's hair.

“The fuck you did.” He snarled, inches away from Sam's face. “Bet you wish sweet little Fragile hadn't begged you to keep me alive.”

“Is that why you're back?” Sam jerked his head in a useless attempt to escape Higg's grip. “So I can finish the job?”

“You wouldn't get very far I'm afraid, not in your current state.” Higgs smiled sweetly, ligthtening his grip to run a hand through Sam's hair. “No, love. I'm here for you. And I'm just getting started.”

Chapter Text

Sam lunged sideways to evade the next blow. Higgs lost his balance slightly as his knee crashed into Sam's ribage

“Oh, sweet thing,” Higgs mused, grasing Sam by the collar of his shirt and giving it a hard tug. “You're as fun as ever.” His lip curled in a snarl, and a firm knee jerk hit Sam's face. The sharp tang of blood filled his mouth and Sam spat, wincing.

“That's what this is all about? Revenge?”

Please,” Higgs smiled, eager fingers tracing the outline of Sam's split lip. “I have more class than that”.

He went down on one knee before Sam, wiping the blood on his own cheek, smudging it from the corner of his eye to his bruised jaw.

“This is about unfinished business,” Higgs breathed, tongue darting out to lick the outline of Sam's neck. Sam's shoulders stiffened, wrists chafing against the bind that tied them together.

“Our business' finished,” he spat at Higgs, “Don't care what you do, or which hell hole you disappear into. I'm done. Just leave me alone. Me, and the kid.”

“Oh, but you are alone, sweet thing,” Higgs replied, a smile tugging at his lips. Sam swallowed hard, eyes flicking towards Lou's pod. “It's just you, me, and this little... affair between us.”

“The fuck you talking about?” Sam rasped. Higgs let go of Sam's collar, only to grasp at his shoulders, shoving Sam's head against the hard bed frame.

“Figured it'd be a long time coming,” Quick fingers brushed against Sam's neck, coiling behind his neck and combing though his hair. Then Higgs' grasp became iron as he tugged on loose strands, holding tight. “All the fun we've had, all the darling things you delivered to me, ready to jump at the snap of my fingers like the good fucking dog you are.”

Sam sucked in a breath, hate and heat and disgust pooling in his chest. Higgs was too close, his hands too warm, and it had been too fucking long since Sam had to suffer anything like it. He struggled, ignoring the pain radiating from the chafing of his wrists, and when he kicked out the blow connected. Higgs hissed but hardly even winced as his ribs took the impact. Pouting, he let go of Sam's hair to rest his hands on Sam's thighs, pressing hard in an effort to immobilise him further.

Higgs might as well have slapped him.
Sam's skin crawled, breath hitching in his throat as every fibre of his being begged to retreat, to move away from the intrusion. Instead his muscles tensed, cold sweat beading his brow as he found himself unable to lift a single finger.

“There, there,“ Higgs breathed, lips brushing against Sam's ear, his voice thick and laden with earnest. “It's not so bad now, is it?”

“Back the fuck off,” Sam groaned, heaving himself back, grateful for the few inches of personal space it won him despite the hard bed frame now pressing itself into his back.

“Don't be so cold,” Higgs leaned forward, one knee of either side of Sam, straddling him. “Not after you spent so much time and energy wrestling me into the mud. Aphenphosmphobia and all.”

Blue eyes stared him down through long lashes and smudged liner, a deliberate, mocking wink crinkling Higgs' features.

“That was different from – whatever the fuck this is.”

“Your reward,” Higgs chuckled, lying flush against Sam's chest, bared teeth scraping against the outline of his ears and fuck, Sam had had enough. “How long has it been, Bridges? You're still only a man. Men want. Men need - ”

“I don't need you.”

“Ah, but who else, darling?” Higgs chuckled, teeth bared into a feral grin. “Fragile? Your masked boss man? Amelie?” He counted on his fingers. “Old news, stick up his ass and, uh, kinda is your relative, so, gross.”

“Nah-uh, those won't do, Sammy dear. Play fair now.” Higgs sucked in a shaky breath, hips rolling forwards in a grinding motion.

Sam cursed cursed under his breath and struggled, really struggled, but his efforts only resulted on Higgs bearing more weight on his hips in an effort to keep his balance. Sam's skin was afire, tension snapping against his nerves and wringing a strangled moan out of him. He tensed, the sickness in his stomach fading with each of Higgs' thrusts, the snapping chill of fear soothed by the warmth pooling low in his gut. His own hips bucked, unbidden, and Sam could feel Higgs smirk against his neck.

“Wanna tell me again how you don't want this?” Higgs mocked, righting himself to face Sam. “I so like to hear you beg.”

“Fucker” Sam breathed behind clenched teeth, too weak, too aware of the weigh of Higgs' body against hiw own, of his warm breath against Sam's collarbone.

Higgs smirked, eyes a flash of blue under heavy lined eyelids. What little distance still lingered between them vanished as hungry teeth sank onto Sam's bloodied lip, chiralium and tar and blood trickling down both their necks and spluttering against Sam's chest. Higgs hummed softly, tongue lingering and worrying at Sam's lower lip where the skin had split, hips rolling gently as he hovered over Sam, riveting in each stangled gasp and sharp exhale he wrought.

“Good boy Sammy,” Higgs' chest heaved between each short, rugged breath. “ There you go.”

Higgs rocked his hips again, slow and soft, a bare whisper against Sam's skin. A taunt, a game, almost an invitation. Hands snaked against Sam's back, nails digging into his flesh and pulling him closer, tugging at the restraints on his wrists until the skin turned raw, and fuck it, Sam couldn't have stopped this is he wanted to. Sam tugged at the rope, reaching, craving and oh so very done with this farce.

“Need more already, darling?” Sam glared at Higgs' hovering face, biting back a curse. Higgs stared him down, tongue brushing softly against tar-streaked lips and grinning, always fucking grinning. “Never woulda thought you'd break quite so readily, Sam Porter Bridges. ”

Higgs' hands reached Sam's wrists and rubbed eagerly against the raw, marred flesh, watching as fresh blood beaded on the skin's surface.

“That desperate, huh?” Higgs mused.

“Wanna fucking see it? Try me.” Sam bit back, tugging at the Strand that bound his wrists.

“Oh, yes. Wouldn't want to miss it, darling.” Higgs cooed, clever fingers fumbling blindly at the rope. “Just promise you'll leave my face this time. I like it pretty.”

Chapter Text

Higgs took his time unraveling the strand, letting rough rope chafe against Sam's marred skin.

One last tug and the stand fell unceremoniously to the ground. Higgs tensed, chiralium sparking against his skin as he leaned back to face Sam. With a grunt, Sam yanked his arms free and pushed Higgs hard before he could jump away, sending him reeling backwards against the cold hard floor. Higgs chuckled, soft and low, but his laughter died in his throat as Sam hooked his fingers around his neck and gave a hard squeeze.

“Oh, Sam” Higgs breathed behind clenched teeth, arching his back eagerly and pressing himself against Sam. He backed up every so slightly, shying away from Higgs' body, clenching his teeth as a jolt of fear coursed through him.

“Shut up.” Sam's voice was a low growl as he lifted Higgs to lay upright, back flush against the wall. Touch was easier now that he was in control, but he still felt nauseous and weak, tracking Higgs' movements and shying away from warm hands now fumbling at his shirt.

“Watch it.” Sam warned, grasping Higgs' wrists with one hand and tugging hard. “Keep'em off me.”

“Sorry. Forgot.” Higgs mocked, a sly smile on his lips, but he still chose to keep his hands to himself, locked together behind his back.

Sam clutched the hem of the already battered fabric that covered Higgs' chest. One sharp tug and the fabric came undone, ripping off Higgs and falling to the floor. Sam pulled away a few inches, steadying himself against the wall and stared, breath hitching in his throat.

“Like what you see, Bridges?” Higgs purred. Then the air was knocked out of him as a firm fist lodged itself in his stomach. Higgs coughed, meeting Sam's eyes and smiling sweetly. “Okay, okay. Have it your way.” He raised his hands in a gesture of surrender. “Taking blows and keeping quiet is what I'm best at.”

“Good.” Sam snarled, one tentative hand splaying slowly against Higgs' chest, tracing the patterns of old scars and circling fresh bruises. Higgs hummed as Sam prodded lower still, trailing over sharp hipbones and down his stomach, nudging the hardness between his legs.

“Fuck, Sam,” Higgs rasped, hips bucking against Sam's palm in earnest, and the way he keened sent jolts of desperate arousal coursing through Sam, coiling around his spine as heat pooled low in hisgut. His grip on Higg's cock was tight beyond comfort, but judging by the flush creeping around his neck Higgs was far from resenting it. “Sam, fuck, please -”

Impatient, Sam tugged at his own trousers, kicking them down sinewy legs as he dug his nails into Higgs' hips, hard, his heavy cock flush against Higgs'. The friction felt incredible, and Sam's gut knotted tightly, his movements rough and erratic.

“You fucking tease,” Higgs blurted, breaths coming in short and ragged.

“Shut up.” Sam warned under his breath, fingers darting to Higgs' lips and forcing their way through.

Higgs gasped but still he obeyed, sucking two fingers into his mouth, hot tongue twirling and curling around them. Sam's other hand balled into Higgs' hair, earning an eager moan before he trailed lower, smudging Higgs' liner and smearing it across pale white skin. Sam's stomach churned at the thought, but hell, Higgs looked so fucking good, strikingly pale skin dotted by tar and scars and bruises, ruined make up streaming down his cheeks and onto his neck, his heavy lidded eyes like chips of clear blue ice, pleading, begging.

Desire coursed through him as he wrenched his fingers free, effortlessly hoisting Higgs against the wall. Higgs wrapped his legs around Sam's waist as he ground against Higg's ass, dripping with pre-come and painfully hard. Higgs gasped as Sam pressed a finger against his slick entrance, teasing until he wrought a weak, trembling whimper out of him. Sam grunted back, lining his cock against Higgs' entrance and grudgingly forcing himself in.

Higgs howled, unprepared and way too tight aground Sam's cock. He gasped, struggling for breath as tears streamed down his cheeks.

“Fuck, Bridges.” Higgs managed, vague, whide eyes rolling back as he hissed in pain. “Seriously?”

Sam didn't bother to reply, the heat and inconceivable tightness around his cock had rendered him all but speechless. He hoisted Higgs up and crashed them both atop the bed, earning a sharp, broken moan from Higgs as the motions caused Sam's cock to delve even further. Moaning, gasping, Higgs arched his back and rolled his hips, stretched tightly around Sam, tears now flowing freely down his cheeks. He heaved, chest beautifully flushed and marred and fuck, he looked broken. Sam shuddered at the thought, bucking and entering Higgs fully. It wrought a scream out of Higgs, nails nigging deep into the hard mattress below. He finally shattered as Sam began thrusting, setting a rough pace: Higgs' moans became a litany of senseless filth, please, fuck, please and more and faster and please, fuck.

Rough, hard thrusts became kinder as Sam held back, getting into a slower rythm, gasping as tight muscles stretching around his cock. Sam made sure Higgs could feel every inch of his cock as he drove into him again and again.

“Sam,” Higgs breathed between broken moans. His head lolled back with each thrust, snarling and writhing under Sam. “Fuck me.” Higgs glanced up, smirking, almost daring, teeth a flash of white amidst the ruin of his face.

Sam fell for it entirely, groaning and gasping as he quickened his pace, each thrust harder and rougher. Higgs cried out, over and over again, slim fingers wrapping around his own cock and tugging with each of Sam's thrusts.

Higgs whimpered as he came hard, chest heaving as waves of pleasure shook his whole body to the core. Higgs thrust up violently, fucking himself harder as he chased each jolt of pleasure, greedy and yearning. The tension coiling around Sam's spine shattered, his mind feverish with need as he spent inside Higgs, his orgasm harsh and unrelenting, draining him of all rational throught for what felt like minutes.

Sam pulled out with a grunt, crashing onto the bed as he struggled to steady his breathing.

Fuck, Bridges,” Higgs' chest was still heaving, his voice raspy and weak. “You truly are The Man Who Delivers.”

“Shut up,” Sam warned, steadying himself on the bed as he stood up and pulled his trousers back on, unease pooling in his chest. “You should go.”

Higgs gasped loudly in feigned indignation.

“Give me a break, Sam. You ought to let me stay a little.” He hoisted himself up, fumbling at his clothes – or what was left of them. “You ruined my shirt. I'll freeze.”

“Not my problem,” Sam cut in, thumb pointing at the door. “Go.”

Higgs sighed dramatically, chiralium gathering around him as he prepared a jump.

“Let's do this again sometime,” Higgs mused, dark and sultry. “See you around, Bridges.”

Chiralium sparked and Higgs was gone. Sam swallowed hard, his mind still somewhat numbed as he struggld towards the desk.

“Did that just fucking happen?” He muttered to himself, unable to formulate a coherent explanation for the longing and desire that still coursed through him.

“Sam.” A voice echoed from Sam's cuff link, heavy with static. “Heartman here.”

Sam's breath hitched in his throat as he stifled a groan.

“Are - are you fucking kidding me?” Sam blurted, gripping the cuff and staring blankly.

“While bedding terrorists is not part of Bridges protocol,” Heartman paused, and Sam could hear him grinning. “it does provide an unmatched opportunity for science.
Who knows what we could discover from examining and cross-referencing the bodily fluids of not just one, but two repatriates!” Heartman continued, ignoring Sam's pitiful groan. “Sam, you have accomplished great things for humanity today. For science.”

“Get the fuck out, or so help me - “ Sam growled, glaring at the cuffs.

“Please, Sam, do indulge me,” Heartman would not relent. “The sheet should suffice. Procure it to me and Die-Hardman shall never hear of this. It will be our little secr-”

Sam cut off the transmission abruptly, refusing to hear any more of it.
He was tired, he ached all over, and Higgs had left a bitter taste in his mouth. Still Sam managed to don his uniform and make for the door, Louise's pod flush against his chest. Sam gently rocked the infant in his arms as the elevator brought them up.

“One last delivery,” he promised, unbidden tears welling up in his eyes. “You ready?”