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class 1-GAY

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20:34

class 1-GAY

izukuwu: how are you guys settling into the new dorms???

Iida Tenya: Just fine, thank you for asking!

airpods: a bitch is having trouble bringing all her shit into her dorm

airpods: idk how they expect me to lug an entire sound system up these stupid fucking stairs

cat whisperer: isn’t there an elevator?

airpods: my shit’s too big to fit into that tiny elevator

owochako: i can help u jirou!!!!

owochako: ill just float your stuff up the stairs

airpods: really???

owochako: yes ofc

airpods: thank u sm

airpods: i’m right inside of heights alliance

owochako: oh I’m already finished with my dorm I’ll come down right now

airpods: see u soon

flex tape: has anybody done the english hw

Iida Tenya: Do your own homework, Sero.

flex tape: iida PLEASE

flex tape: someone just hook me up w the homework

flex tape: what the FUCK is english

flex tape: @mom pull thru queen :praying_hands:

mom: i cannot send anything right now :( still making arrangements for my room and I’m not very sure of where my bag is

flex tape: FUCK

sparky: dw dudebro I got u covered

flex tape: no offense kami

flex tape: but ur kinda stupid

sparky: WOW

sparky: i will have u know

sparky: that I am a GOD at english

flex tape: hm .

sparky: fine

sparky: if u don’t want my english expertise then so be it

sparky: good luck finding someone with good english u fake bitch

flex tape: KAMINARI

sparky: no

sparky: don’t speak to me bitch

sparky: talk 2 the hand

flex tape: it doesn’t have to end like this

sparky: well it just did so

sparky: talk 2 the hand

izukuwu: i can send my homework!!

izukuwu: i’m pretty sure that it’s all right so

sparky: goddamnit midoriya

flex tape: midoriya you are a GODSEND

sparky: I LITERALLY SAID ID SEND MY HOMEWORK

flex tape: YEAH BUT MIDORIYA’S SMART

sparky: FUCK YOU

izukuwu: [english.png]

flex tape: the goat

karate kid: oh I forgot we had homework

karate kid: thanks midoriya!!

izukuwu: :’)

Iida Tenya: Midoriya, how can you encourage his antics?!

Iida Tenya: Our classmates will begin to rely on you instead of doing their work themselves! Shame on you!

Iida Tenya: How can someone be a hero if they cannot complete a simple assignment?

flex tape: pretty sure I don’t have to know english to be a Japanese hero

Iida Tenya: Semantics.

izukuwu: i was just trying to be nice :(

Iida Tenya: Oh no. Don’t you dare try using those puppy eyes on me. I can feel them through the screen.

izukuwu: :(

Iida Tenya: Midoriya.

izukuwu: :(

Iida Tenya: For Christ’s sake

Iida Tenya: You’re gonna give me a stroke one of these days, I swear

izukuwu: :)

-

08:34

rock: prepare for a riot

rock added katsuki to the chat

katsuki: WHO THE FUCK PUT A SNAPPING TURTLE IN THE GENERAL TOILETS

sparky: did it bite your ass

katsuki: NO

katsuki: THAT SHIT BIT MY FUCKING BALLS YOU FUCKING DICKHEAD

sparky: LOL

katsuki: I’M GONNA FIND WHOEVER DID IT

katsuki: AND I’M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU

katsuki: GODDAMN FUCKING BASTARDS

acid trip: need a kiss to make it better bakubabe?

katsuki: I HOPE YOU DIE IN A FIRE

katsuki left the chat

acid trip: that was

acid trip: an experience

acid trip added katsuki to the chat

acid trip: stay

katsuki: DIE

katsuki left the chat

acid trip added katsuki to the chat

acid trip: STAY

katsuki: STOP FUCKING ADDING ME BACK YOU DEGENERATE

acid trip: YOU ARE IN CLASS 1A THEREFORE YOU ARE IN THE CLASS 1A CHAT

katsuki: BY THAT LOGIC LET’S JUST ADD THE GRAPE PERVERT

acid trip: ….

acid trip: of all the times you use logic why does it have to be NOW

katsuki: IM PLENTY LOGICAL AT ALL OTHER TIMES

katsuki: GO FUCK YOURSELF

katsuki: ANYWAYS WHEN I FIND OUT WHOEVER PUT THE FUCKING SNAPPING TURTLE IN THE TOILET IM GONNA BEAT YOUR ASS

sparky: maybe the turtle was just looking for a friend

katsuki: maybe you’re just looking for my FIST IN YOUR MOUTH

sparky: kinky

sparky: I like it

katsuki: DIE

denks & E.T.

denks: it was me

E.T.: of course it was you

denks: ;)

19:37

bakusquad

denks: guys I lost my fuckin brownies

hard: how did u manage to do that

denks: i don’t know man

denks: i put the container down somewhere and now I don’t remember where it is

hard: have you maybe checked .. the kitchen

denks: oh shit

class 1-GAY

izukuwu: hey these brownies in the kitchen are super delicious

sparky: you ate them??

izukuwu: yeah kacchan told me I could take some

izukuwu: I mean at first I thought they were poisoned but I’m just fine so

izukuwu: thanks!!!

sparky: oh my god

sparky: oh my god

sparky: fuck

izukuwu: wha

sparky: how many

izukuwu: how many what

sparky: how many did u eat

izukuwu: 2

sparky:

sparky: oh no

izukuwu: what’s wrong

izukuwu: hello????

izukuwu: kaminari???

izukuwu: i’m so concerned

bakusquad

E.T.: @katsuki

E.T.: you did the kid so dirty

katsuki: first of all why am I here

E.T.: we have literally had this chat for 3 months

katsuki: well I DIDN’T FUCKING NOTICE

katsuki: why the fuck is this named bakusquad

denks: u are the alpha male of our friend group

katsuki: you shitty extras aren’t my friends

denks: whatever u say babe

katsuki: don’t call me that

class 1-GAY

izukuwu: guys I’m feeling kinda funny

karate kid: kaminari

karate kid: did you feed midoriya

karate kid: edibles

sparky: i,,,, didn’t feed him,,,,

sparky: fuck

izukuwu: edibles??? What

izukuwu: oh

izukuwu: oh no!!!

izukuwu: i ate weed!!!!

katsuki: HAHA

izukuwu: kacchan that’s so uncool!!!!

izukuwu: why didn’t you tell me!!!!!!!

izukuwu: oh my god I’m gonna get in so much trouble

izukuwu: i did drugs!!! this is so bad!!!

john cena: well now his anxiety’s even worse

izukuwu: oh shit oh shit

izukuwu: what the hell

airpods: yo what the fuck

airpods: kaminari those eddies were for us

flex tape: yeah dude what the fuck

izukuwu: there’s still like 14 left

izukuwu: ohhhh goddddd

izukuwu: i think I’m gonna pass out

acid trip: kami how high was the concentration of pot in those brownies

sparky: … High

sparky: one would’ve been enough to get someone off the shits

acid trip: shit

Tenya Iida: It seems that I have missed a lot.

Tenya Iida: Kaminari! First cheating on homework and now drugs?!

Tenya Iida: And Midoriya ate them, no less!

izukuwu: ok ok

izukuwu: anxiety went down

izukuwu: i don’t really feel anything yet

izukuwu: maybe I am just immune!

bakusquad

E.T.: poor kid really thinks that shits not gonna hit him harder than a truck

awaiting my big titty prep gf: dude doesn’t know what’s coming to him

20:56

class 1-GAY

izukuwu: oh my god

bakusquad

awaiting my big titty prep gf: there it is

class 1-GAY

izukuwu: i think I’m dying

izukuwu: jesus christ

Iida Tenya: @sparky Look at what you’ve done!

Iida Tenya: Poor Midoriya can’t even walk in a straight line!

sparky: MIDO I’M SO SORRY

Iida Tenya: And you, Bakugou! What is wrong with you? You knew what was in those brownies!

katsuki: what could u possibly be talking about

katsuki: oh shit

Iida Tenya: What happened?!

katsuki: idiot deku just faceplanted onto the wooden table

katsuki: HAHAHAHA

Iida Tenya: Help him up!

katsuki: no

katsuki: this is so fucking hilarious

katsuki: [hesreallyfuckinghigh.mp4]

owochako & Shouto saved a video from katsuki!

Shouto: He’ll be so embarrassed when he sobers up.

owochako: god that’s funny

Iida Tenya: Todoroki, Uraraka! We are supposed to be Midoriya’s FRIENDS!

owochako: we are

owochako: yeah, I’m concerned as hell for his wellbeing but WOW that’s a funny video

Shouto: I saved the video for educational purposes

Shouto: You know

Shouto: To help me understand why I shouldn’t do drugs

ocha & Shouto

ocha: you’re so obvious

Shouto: I have no idea what you’re talking about :)

class 1-GAY

izukuwu: i cant move

izukuwu: ohhh my god this is not fun

acid trip: trust me when I tell you to eat

acid trip: you’re probably gonna feel like shit for the next day or so but

acid trip: eating will help

izukuwu: there is no food in the kitchen

izukuwu: am I going to die

acid trip: no

acid trip: what you had wasn’t NEARLY enough for an overdose

mom: oh gosh! i just finished reading the chat

mom: are you okay, Midoriya?

izukuwu: no

mom: i can order a few pizzas to the dorms!

mom: if aizawa-sensei asks then I’ll tell him that we’re celebrating a successful move-in

izukuwu: ok thank you!!!

izukuwu: fair warning I will probably eat an entire pizza

mom: that’s no issue :)

23:45

izukuwu: i can’t walk

izukuwu: I’m so sorry to ask this but can someone carry me to my room

Shouto: I’ll come

izukuwu: you are a lifesaver

00:16

broccoli boy & Shouto

broccoli boy: do you know that

broccoli boy: you’re really pretty

Shouto: Um

Shouto: Thank you?

broccoli boy: like I was looking at your face and I was like WOW todorokis really pretty

broccoli boy: and then u snorted and I thought to myself

broccoli boy: holy crap that’s really cute

Shouto: That’s very nice of you

broccoli boy: who gave you the right

broccoli boy: to be so pretty

Shouto: My genes I suppose

broccoli boy: i wasn’t talking about ur legs !!!

broccoli boy: oh wait

broccoli boy: i read that sentence out loud before processing it

broccoli boy: nvm

broccoli boy: ignore me I’m dumb

Shouto: You’re funny when you’re high

broccoli boy: >:(

Shouto: :)

Shouto: Goodnight, Midoriya

Shouto: I hope you feel better

broccoli boy: g’night!!!

 

Chapter Text

07:50

class 1-GAY

Iida Tenya: Break’s over in T-72 hours.

acid trip: stop

acid trip: stop

acid trip: stop

Iida Tenya: Accept the truth, Ashido.

Iida Tenya: We have to go back eventually.

acid trip: I DON’T WANT TO

sparky added louis vuitton eyebags to the chat

sparky: @louis vuitton eyebags hey can u extend summer break

louis vuitton eyebags: how did u get my number

sparky: irrelevant

sparky: please extend summer break

louis vuitton eyebags: what the fuck

Iida Tenya: Kaminari

Iida Tenya: Who did you add to the chat?

sparky: sensei

Iida Tenya: Kaminari!

rock: oh shit

rock: I mean

rock: oh crud

acid trip: hi sensei :3

louis vuitton eyebags: why am I here

sparky: we want more than 3 days left for school

louis vuitton eyebags: and I want more than 5 hours of sleep a night

louis vuitton eyebags: but that’s not happening

louis vuitton eyebags left the chat

Pros

louis vuitton eyebags: i hate my class

class 1-GAY

Iida Tenya: Why would you add our teacher to the group chat?!?!

sparky: i wanted a longer break

Iida Tenya: You were not stupid enough to actually believe that texting our teacher would do anything about the break.

sparky: maybe not

sparky: but a boy can dream

acid trip: I went into the teacher’s lounge earlier

acid trip: was chillin with midnight

acid trip: then she left and I saw her yearbook

acid trip: did u guys know that midnight present mic and aizawa were all in the same class

acid trip: they even have matching yearbook quotes

john cena: THAT’S SO CUTE

acid trip: they were also in the same grade as the WWP

acid trip: but the WWP were in 1B and our teachers were in 1A

cat whisperer: i thought pixie bob was older

flex tape: pixie bob gives off MILF vibes

flex tape: but without the ILF part

handyman: oh god

pepe: that is strangely accurate

acid trip: there’s this hot dude here

acid trip: oboro shirakumo

acid trip: he’s not a pro hero tho what happened to him

izukuwu: hold on that name sounds super familiar

izukuwu: wait

izukuwu: OH

izukuwu: oh that’s loudcloud

izukuwu: his story’s depressing so I won’t tell it here

acid trip: is he dead

izukuwu: yeah

acid trip: oh now I feel bad

acid trip: just called a dead dude hot

acid trip: aizawa was also hot when he was a teen

acid trip: [smolaizawa.png]

acid trip: would y’all fuck

rock: yes

karate kid: christ

Pros

rated r: hey has anyone seen my highschool yearbook

LOUD: WHERE DID YOU LAST SEE IT

rated r: it was with my stuff in the lounge

louis vuitton eyebags: oh for fucks sake

annoyed & denks

annoyed: add me back

denks: why

annoyed: do as I say or I’m making you come in tomorrow and train alone

denks: OKAY OKAY

denks: no need to pull out the threats

annoyed: just do it

sparky added louis vuitton eyebags to the chat

sparky: wait

sparky: sensei

sparky: before you say anything

louis vuitton eyebags: what

sparky: in your honest opinion, would you say pixie bob gives off MILF vibes

louis vuitton eyebags: i’m not answering that

louis vuitton eyebags: which one of you heathens took midnight’s yearbook

acid trip: why would you think it was one of us?

louis vuitton eyebags: okay now I know it was you ashido

louis vuitton eyebags: put it back where it belongs

louis vuitton eyebags: theft is not tolerated

acid trip: it’s called borrowing sensei ;)

louis vuitton eyebags: yeah well I’m gonna “borrow” your spot in 1A and give it to someone else

louis vuitton eyebags: how does that sound

acid trip: … not good

louis vuitton eyebags: yeah

louis vuitton eyebags: I thought so         

louis vuitton eyebags left the chat

acid trip: I have never been so scared and turned on in my life

Iida Tenya: HE IS OUR TEACHER

acid trip: AND HE’S A BABE

katsuki: he literally looks like a fucking rat

katsuki: what is wrong with you

acid trip: he is a hot rat

acid trip: have u ever seen him like

acid trip: clean-shaven

acid trip: and with his hair in a bun

rock: he looked so manly…

acid trip: yeah and HOT

katsuki: why can’t you be a normal girl and obsess over like

katsuki: fuckin bunnies or something like that

acid trip: FUCK SOCIETAL NORMS

acid trip: if I wanna fuck my 30 year old high school teacher who’s gonna stop me!!!

Iida Tenya: The law

katsuki: common fucking sense?

acid trip: you’re a real fuckin party pooper blasty u know that????

katsuki: at least I don’t wanna fuck my rat teacher

acid trip: DON’T SLUTSHAME ME

katsuki: god I hate you

Pros

louis vuitton eyebags: i think my students want to fuck me

LOUD: SO DOES HALF THE SCHOOL

louis vuitton eyebags: i hate my life

louis vuitton eyebags: also

louis vuitton eyebags: @Pixie Bob my students think you give off milf vibes

y’know, like… nya: i

y’know, like… nya:

chiken wangz: LOL

chiken wangz: WHICH ONE BROUGHT IT UP

chiken wangz: was it the electric one

louis vuitton eyebags: i hate that you know my students enough to guess that

chiken wangz: HAHA

chiken wangz: i love that little dude

Enji Todoroki: Are these the innapropriate things you talk about with your students? With my son?!

Enji Todoroki: Is this what UA considers as “qualified” to teach now?

louis vuitton eyebags: ok first of all I didn’t bring it up

louis vuitton eyebags: second of all if you have an issue with the way I teach I would prefer it if you took it up with me personally rather than in a public group chat

louis vuitton eyebags: thank you

Pixie Bob: WAIT

Pixie Bob: YOUR STUDENTS THINK WHAT

louis vuitton eyebags: bye

Pixie Bob: I’m too young to be a MILF

Pixie Bob: I’m only 31

Pixie Bob: 18 on the inside

Pixie Bob: Guys

Pixie Bob: Guys come on

Pixie Bob: Oh my God

Chapter Text

15:12

dekusquad

broccoli boy: guys

broccoli boy: i just woke up???

ocha: well I guess that’s what happens when you get smacked as hell

broccoli boy: i feel like i’m about to collapse

broccoli boy: i’m so hungry

broccoli boy: i still feel like shit

Shouto: I can bring you some leftover pizza slices from yesterday, Midoriya.

broccoli boy: PLEASE do

broccoli boy: i think I’m still high

broccoli boy: also I don’t remember anything from yesterday

broccoli boy: is that normal

ocha: mina says yes

ocha: to both still being smacked and not remembering anything

what can that tongue do: are you feeling alright now, midoriya?

broccoli boy: yeah todoroki brought me food so i’m doing ok

broccoli boy: i’m going into the kitchen now for a proper breakfast

broccoli boy: lunch

broccoli boy: oh my god

what can that tongue do: what?

ocha: u good deku?

broccoli boy: there’s katsudon

broccoli boy: and it smells so so so good

broccoli boy: i ENVY whoever gets to eat this

broccoli boy: wait

broccoli boy: I know this katsudon

broccoli boy: this is kacchan’s katsudon

broccoli boy: what the

Iida Tenya: I… may have blackmailed Bakugou into making katsudon for you, Midoriya.

Iida Tenya: Also, he has to do your chores for the next two weeks.

broccoli boy: you did WHAT

ocha: WHAT

Iida Tenya: To my defense, he deserved it!

Iida Tenya: While blackmail is not something I would normally do…

Iida Tenya: He fed Midoriya those brownies, well aware that they were drugs

Iida Tenya: I told him that I’d tell Aizawa he manipulated Midoriya if he didn’t make Midoriya a meal

ocha: AS U SHOULD

pepe: good.

Iida Tenya: Now that I think of it, I should report him anyways…

broccoli boy: nonono

broccoli boy: please don’t report him, it’s fine

broccoli boy: it’s okay

pepe: what he did to you isn’t okay, midoriya

broccoli boy: just don’t report him

broccoli boy: please

Iida Tenya: … Fine, even if I do not necessarily agree with your choice…

Iida Tenya: But say the word, Midoriya, and I’ll do it!

broccoli boy: no need, iida <3

broccoli boy: oh man

broccoli boy: it looks so good

broccoli boy: i think I’m about to cry

broccoli boy: guys LOOK

broccoli boy: [katsudon.jpeg]

broccoli boy: i'm literally drooling thinking about eating it

ocha: so eat it!!!

broccoli boy: oh my GOD

broccoli boy: this is so so so good

broccoli boy: iida thank you so much

broccoli boy: you guys have got to come down and try some

ocha: already omw

15:30

class 1-GAY

Iida Tenya: Hello, class! Just a heads-up that Aizawa has permitted extra training in the large field for the next three hours. It is optional but advised. See you there!

19:02

sparky: i’m so fucking sore

sparky: oh my god

Iida Tenya: Oh, please. We’ve barely even done anything.

airpods: one of my jacks was almost cut off

airpods: lol

sparky: rip to ur jacks but I’m different :100:

airpods: jesus christ I hate you so much

mom: it was a good training session imo :)

acid trip: not for me

acid trip: i want to die

katsuki: stop being a whiny bitch

acid trip: fuck u

acid trip: I’m sorry we’re not all built like GODS

katsuki: well get in shape then

katsuki: stupid bitch

acid trip: WOW

karate kid: kufiuehuog

karate kid: my tail is so bruised

sparky: LEMME PET

karate kid: i can’t walk

karate kid: to wherever u are

sparky: it’s ok

sparky: i come to ur room

karate kid: yay

20:21

sparky: hey

sparky: hey guys

katsuki: shut up

sparky: make me

sparky: ;)

katsuki: i cant wait for the day I hear that you got into a bear attack and were viciously mauled to death

sparky: that is weirdly specific

katsuki: I wonder why

katsuki: :)

sparky:

sparky: am I gonna die

katsuki: hopefully

 


 

15:34

katsuki: which idiot gave me admin perms

katsuki: ahahahahahahha

katsuki: ?mute @izukuwu forever STAY MAD

@izukuwu was muted

Iida Tenya: Bakugou, do not abuse your permissions!

katsuki: i do what i want

Iida Tenya: ?unmute @izukuwu

@izukuwu was unmuted

izukuwu: :/

katsuki: get fucked

 

17:32

class 1-GAY

sparky: ok

sparky: guys

sparky: this toodles dude from mickey mouse?

sparky: he’s sus as fuck

sparky: like he knows what the gang needs to finish their quest or whatever

sparky: but how would he know what they need if he didn’t have psychic powers

sparky: and not once do mickey and his friends think “hm this is an all-knowing projector why don’t we ask it how to avoid our issues”

sparky: tldr; toodles is a god and mickey and his friends are dumb as fuck

cat whisperer: disrespect to mickey mouse ;-;

katsuki: why the fuck are you talking about an american children’s show

sparky: i’m watching it with my nieces

katsuki: why is it that you think so deeply about such trivial things and then you’re an idiot when it comes to literally anything else

sparky: U DON’T KNOW MY TRUE POTENTIAL

katsuki: I don’t think I want to

airpods: nobody wants to

sparky: RUDE

18:20

izukuwu: i

izukuwu: i

izukuwu: I’m gonna cry

Iida Tenya: What?!

Iida Tenya: Are you okay?!

owochako: DEKU WHAT HAPPENED

izukuwu; i

izukuwu: i just walked in on present mic getting it on with aizawa

owochako: oh

acid trip: was it hot

izukuwu: ASHIDO

acid trip: what? everybody was wondering it

acid trip: I’m just the only one who voiced it

izukuwu: WELL

izukuwu: it was not hot

izukuwu: at ALL

izukuwu: aizawa’s like my dad

Shouto:

Shouto: Hm.

izukuwu: todoroki.

Shouto: I said nothing.

Iida Tenya: Is this an issue that needs to be reported?

izukuwu: NO

izukuwu: OUR TEACHERS ARE ALLOWED TO HAVE

izukuwu: SEXUAL RELATIONS

izukuwu: I wasn’t even supposed to be in the teacher’s lounge so ??? let’s just not mention it at all yeah

pepe: why were you there then?

izukuwu: reasons

pepe: what reasons

izukuwu: REASONS

izukuwu: I’m just thankful they didn’t notice me

shouta’s whores

the tired one: midoriya just walked in on me and zashi

the tired one: i'm going to jump off a cliff

THE LOUD ONE: IT COULD'VE BEEN WORSE

THE LOUD ONE: AT LEAST HE TRIED TO LEAVE INCONSPICUOUSLY

the tired one: im surprised you know what word

THE LOUD ONE: WOW

the tired one: i’m joking

the tired one: fuck I’m embarrased

the funny one: GOOD JOB SHOUTA BABE

the tired one: i’m dying

the tired one: goodbye

class 1-GAY

mom: who’s on dinner duty today?

acid trip: bakugou

katsuki: me

mom: oh good :D

katsuki: how the fuck do u know my schedule raccoon bitch

acid trip: who knows ;)

katsuki: god ur annoying

katsuki: what the fuck do u guys want

katsuki: and no I’m not making 19 different dishes so fucking decide collectively

izukuwu: katsudon

katsuki: that is the one thing I won’t make

izukuwu: why :(

katsuki: because I made it literally yesterday

katsuki: and I hate you

katsuki: next

Shouto: Soba

acid trip: gross

Shouto: You’re gross

katsuki: I’m making curry rice

katsuki: decision is final

sparky: none of us even suggested curry rice

katsuki: fuck you if you don’t like curry rice

cat whisperer: do you have any greens?

katsuki: yes

cat whisperer: can I bring down my bunnies

katsuki: if you want

katsuki: or whatever

sparky: why are u nice to kouda and not to us

sparky: no offense kouda

cat whisperer: none taken

katsuki: because he’s quiet and not annoying

acid trip: wow

acid trip: do u respect ANY OF US

katsuki: yeah

acid trip: WHO

katsuki: none of ur fuckin business

 


 

20:07

sparky: THE MASSES HAVE SPOKEN

sparky: and they’ve decided

sparky: toodles is a god

sparky: [vote.jpg]

airpods: what the fuck

airpods: 128000 votes

airpods: how many followers do you have

sparky: like 500k

airpods: WHAT

sparky: i am eboy

sparky: with good memes

katsuki: how are you popular

katsuki: you’re ugly and stupid

sparky: WOW

Iida Tenya: Don’t be mean, Bakugou. These are your classmates that you will be spending the next 3 years with!

katsuki: fuck if I care

Chapter Text

02:34

class 1-GAY

katsuki: so help me god if whoever’s blasting Minecraft on my mind at full volume doesn’t fucking stop right now I’m going to track you down and rip your throat out

Pros

Vlad King: Who the FUCK is playing that godawful music at this time of night

LOUD: WHAT DO YOU MEAN GODAWFUL

LOUD: THIS IS THE MUSIC OF THE HEAVENS

Captain America: It’s not that bad…

louis vuitton eyebags: i’m about to fucking quit my job

 

annoyed & denks

annoyed: kaminari

annoyed: if you don’t shut that music off right now

annoyed: you’re expelled

denks: but present mic is singing along

denks: I can hear it from here

annoyed: use your brain

annoyed: and think about how that exact reason is why I want to expel you

denks: oh

denks: OH

denks: i

denks: ok

07:35

sparky: MY PET FISH DROWNED

Shouto: It deserved it

airpods: thank god

sparky: WHY THE SLANDER

katsuki: fuck you and your Minecraft on my mind

katsuki: I hope you fucking choke on a creeper you stupid fucking idiot

sparky: a guy plays Minecraft on my mind at 2:30 AM ONCE and suddenly everybody wants him to die

Iida Tenya: We have school in less than 48 hours.

sparky: and????

Iida Tenya: What made you think

Iida Tenya: That it was a good idea

Iida Tenya: To do that?

sparky: hoes mad :/

karate kid: i will hit you with my tail

sparky: :o

sparky: i thought we had something special

karate: i can’t be friends with someone who likes minecraft on my mind unironically

sparky: I can’t be friends with someone who doesn’t like momm

karate kid: so it’s over? just like that?

sparky: i guess so .

karate kid: i’m keeping the pokecards

sparky: no

sparky: NO

karate kid: yeah

karate kid: no takebacksies

sparky: my entire life savings

sparky: GONE

karate kid: too bad so sad

sparky: GONE

sparky: surely we can make this work

acid trip: a girl goes to her parents’ house for one night and misses kaminari blasting MOMM

acid trip: i’m mad

Shoutp: Why would you be mad

acid trip: i would have sang along >:(

Shouto: What is wrong with this class

08:03

Shouto: Merry early Christmas

Shouto: Go to the common room for a gift

karate kid: it’s only august???

Shouto: Merry early Christmas

sparky: hey quick question

sparky: the fuck

gravity falls: todoroki

gravity falls: did you get everybody in the class airpods

Shouto: Absolutely.

Shouto: It smelled a little too much like broke in here

flex tape: WHAT

acid trip: i can’t tell if ur joking or not

Shouto: I am

Shouto: I just wanted to piss my father off

Shouto: Happy Kwanza

ohn cena: why did you want to piss off endeavor?

Shouto: Just friendly family things :)

pepe: no offense todoroki

pepe: but that doesn’t seem all that friendly to me

Shouto: Just :) Friendly :) Family :) Things :)

pepe: okay

sugar daddy: thanks for the airpods dude

rock: everybody say thank you todoroki

owochako: thank you todoroki <3

Iida Tenya: Thank you for the gift, I needed good headphones to use at the gym!

airpods: finally living up to my namesake

mom: very kind thing to do todoroki :)

flex tape: thanks man

sparky: todoroki da PLUG

Shouto:Um

Shouto: You’re all welcome I guess

01:45

sparky: guys

sparky: what would happen if like

sparky: guys had to give birth out of their dicks

sparky: like imagine while giving birth your dick is just stretched out around the baby

sparky: you’d literally have a massive dick

sparky: and then you’d need surgery to get your penis skin normal again because there’s no goin back

sparky: if you didn’t have foreskin before you’d definitely have it now

katsuki: what

katsuki: the

katsuki: fuck

sparky: it’s even f unnnier if you imagine a baby head popping out of a dick

katsuki: i

katsuki: what

sparky: so whyre u up

katsuki: how do I respond to this

katsuki: you know what

katsuki: fuck this and fuck you

katsuki: i’m going back to sleep

karate kid: i am SO concerned

Iida Tenya: Why are we talking about penises? You guys should be asleep.

Iida Tenya: Also, Kaminari… please see a therapist.

sparky: KJHGUHGUOGHUGQI CMON GUYS

sparky: PENIS BABY

flex tape: penis baby

karate kid: jesus Christ

Iida Tenya: You guys are going to give me a migraine.

10:02

acid trip: PENIS BABY

airpods: penis baby

rock: penis baby!!!!

Shouto: Penis baby.

cat whisperer: (*ಠ_ಠ;)

katsuki: literally what the fuck is wrong with you guys

katsuki: why is that a THING

birb: why are any of us a THING. why are we alive. is there a point in living

katsuki: ok edgelord

handyman: yami pls..

handyman: chill

denks & E.T.

denks: you seein what I’m seein???

E.T.: haha

E.T.: they gay

denks: they gay

15:23

class 1-GAY

izukuwu: guys

izukuwu: i’m pretty sure all might is getting it on with my mom???

izukuwu: help?????

owochako: WHAT

izukuwu: he was at my house when I got home

izukuwu: even though my visit was a surprise

izukuwu: and he kinda looked disheveled

izukuwu: now I’m hiding in my room

sparky: no way man all might is banging aizawa

izukuwu: no??? they aren’t????

sparky: what

sparky: but they have so much sexual tension

izukuwu: they aren’t together

john cena: isn’t aizawa with ms joke???

katsuki: aizawa is fucking mic you absolute buffoons

katsuki: also I can’t believe all might is fucking deku’s mom

katsuki: HAHA

katsuki: deku’s mom has got it going on

izukuwu: kacchan.

sparky: SHE’S ALL I WANT AND I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR SO LONG

flex tape: mido can’t you see, you’re just not the dude for me

acid trip: i know it might be wrong but I’m in love with izu’s mom

izukuwu: ohhh myyyyy gooooooddddddd

izukuwu: STOP

sparky: i think we’re all missing the point

sparky: aizawa’s a fucking slut

Iida Tenya: YOU SHOULDN’T TALK ABOUT OUR TEACHER LIKE THAT!!!

sparky: AIZAWAS A SLUT

Shouto: Jesus Christ.

sparky: i’m gonna ask about it

knuckles: KAMINARI NO

acid trip: KAMINARI YES

16:13

Pros

louis vuitton eyebags: why the fuck did kaminari just ask me who I’m sleeping with

rated r: your kids know you’re a slut

louis vuitton eyebags: stop calling me a slut

Sniper no Sniping: You kinda are

LOUD: YOU ARE A SLUT

louis vuitton eyebags: jesus fucking christ

chiken wangz: maybe he’s just tryna fuck

louis vuitton eyebags: i’m going to throw myself off a building

jokester: aw shouta

jokester: we still love u

jokester: even if u are sleeping with like 10 people at the same time

gunhead: aren’t you one of them???

jokester: yes

louis vuitton eyebags: oh my god

rated r: how’s the sex

jokester: fantastic

rated r: nice

rated r: who else is sleeping with aizawa say aye

LOUD: AYE

13:45

class 1-GAY

sparky:  guys I’m kinda curious

cat whisperer: oh no

sparky: like

sparky: if aizawa’s a slut

sparky: does that mean he has a big dick

sparky: like his dick has to be GOOD

sparky: he’s bangin 2 people

izukuwu: oh my god

acid trip: what if he’s a bottom

sparky: oh shit that’s true

izukuwu: guys please

sugar daddy: see this is literally why I never speak in here

sugar daddy: i open the chat and you’re all trying to figure out how big aizawa’s dick is

cat whisperer: Σ(‘◉⌓◉’)

rock: guys I think we should respect our teachers and their privacy more …

karate kid: kirishima the only dude in the bakusquad that has any common sense

katsuki: STOP CALLING IT THAT

john cena: aizawa kinda seems like he has a big dick

john cena: he’s jacked

john cena: there was this one time I was out late and I saw him in just a tank top

john cena: like WOW

john cena: I couldn’t really believe it

john cena: I took a picture

john cena: [lowkeydaddy?.jpg]

acid trip: god he’s so sexy

izukuwu: ohhh myyyy goooooood guys PLEASE stop

flex tape: he has a nice butt

flex tape: he might be a vers

katsuki: no u fucking dumbass that’s for dom/sub

katsuki: ur trying to say that he’s a switch

flex tape: how do you even know that

katsuki: sorry I’m not a fucking dumbass

mom: guys why are we talking about our teacher’s sex life

Iida Tenya: I just checked my phone after training for a few hours, and this is what I come back to?

Iida Tenya: We cannot be thirsting over our own teacher! A pro hero, no less!

Iida Tenya: Also, please stop discussing his sex life.

sugar daddy: please

airpods: why do I hang out with any of you

sparky: because u love us <3

airpods: now idk abt that

21:02

acid trip: yo midoriya

izukuwu: yes??

acid trip: you have

acid trip: an impressive backside

sparky: (she’s trying to say that your ass is fat)

acid trip: kaminari.

acid trip: ANYWAYS

acid trip: i was wondering how you grew your glutes

izukuwu: oh!!! I guess just by working out???

izukuwu: i do whole-body workouts just in case I’m gonna need muscle in my legs or something like that

acid trip: nice nice

acid trip: can I join you

acid trip: for those workouts???

izukuwu: sure!!! we’ll see how much power you have and make a workout plan accordingly

acid trip: NICE

gravity falls: i wanna join

rock: me too!!!

rock: big butts are super manly

izukuwu: aaaa

izukuwu: sure!! I’ll let you guys know

rock: god didn’t bless me with a fat ass because he was afraid of the power I’d have

katsuki: god didn’t give you a fat ass because you’d look fucking stupid shitty hair

katsuki: also you literally just saw what the nerd said, you need to specifically work out your legs

katsuki: deku used to be a fucking wimp

katsuki: still is, actually

izukuwu: >:( am not

katsuki: sure

knuckles: my best bro …

knuckles: conspiring against me …

katsuki: you’re using some big words there

katsuki: don’t hurt your brain

rock: AW BAKUBRO ARE U CONCERNED FOR ME

katsuki: STOP PUTTING WORDS IN MY MOUTH

sparky: i’ll put something else in your mouth

katsuki: DIE

rock: for fuck’s sake

Chapter Text

18:23

Enji Todoroki & Shouto

Enji Todoroki: Shouto

Shouto: Yes

Enji Todoroki: What did you do

Shouto: What did I do

Enji Todoroki: Why did you spend $3,000 on my card?

Shouto: I wanted to do something nice for my friends

Shouto: The ones at Yuuei

Shouto: I’ve never had friends before, father

Shouto: This is kinda new to me, I just want to make them happy

Shouto: Does that upset you?

Enji Todoroki: … No.

Enji Todoroki: Just let me know before you do something like that again.

Shouto: K

Daddy Issues: The Series

Daddy Issues: The Sequel: Just finessed the shit out of dad

Daddy Issues: The Sequel: [screenshot124.jpg]

Daddy Issues: The Prequel: what did you do though?

Daddy Issues: The Sequel: I bought everybody in my class airpods

Daddy Issues: The Prequel: oh, shouto.

Daddy Issues: oh my god

Daddy Issues: i’m so proud of you

Daddy Issues: The Sequel: Wow, that’s the first time someone’s told me that

Daddy Issues: HAHA

Daddy Issues: you’re such a little shit

Daddy Issues: The Sequel: Thanks

Daddy Issues: The Sequel: #justnormalfamilythings : bonding over shared trauma

Daddy Issues: #justnormalfamilytingz

Daddy Issues: The Prequel: guys, please...

20:56

class 1-GAY

airpods: do any of you know french

・゚: *・゚:* aoyama  *:・゚✧*:・゚✧: oui

sparky: yes

sparky: je suis anorak

・゚: *・゚:* aoyama  *:・゚✧*:・゚✧: you are so distasteful

sparky: wha

sparky: wdym

・゚: *・゚:* aoyama  *:・゚✧*:・゚✧: do not say you know french if you are dogshit at it <3

sparky: WHAT

sparky: i said im annoyed in french

・゚: *・゚:* aoyama  *:・゚✧*:・゚✧: no

・゚: *・゚:* aoyama  *:・゚✧*:・゚✧: you said “i am coat”

rock: I AM COAT

acid trip: I AM COAT

sparky: LOOOOOOL

sparky: I AM COAT

・゚: *・゚:* aoyama  *:・゚✧*:・゚✧: the disrespect …

sparky: i’m sorry aoyama

・゚: *・゚:* aoyama  *:・゚✧*:・゚✧: some crimes cannot be forgiven

・゚: *・゚:* aoyama  *:・゚✧*:・゚✧: oh well

・゚: *・゚:* aoyama  *:・゚✧*:・゚✧: au revoir mes amis, I am off to bedazzle my homework <3

izukuwu: bye aoyama!!!!!!!!!!

rock: what a funky dude

rock: I respect it

rock: super manly

katsuki: you think every dude is manly

rock: so what!!!

rock: men are super manly

katsuki: manliness is a construct of society that categorizes men into common stereotypes revolving around them

rock:

rock: uh

katsuki: good talk

katsuki: have a bad night

acid trip: is that your way of saying good night bakubabe

katsuki: no

katsuki: i’m saying i hope you have a bad night

acid trip: I will, but only for u babe <3

katsuki: die

21:35

dekusquad

Shouto: I might do something I’m going to regret in the morning

what that tongue do: if it involves anything harmful to yourself please refrain from doing it

Iida Tenya: Could not have worded it better myself.

Shouto: Lol

Shouto: Nah

Shouto: YOLO right

broccoli boy: todoroki

broccoli boy: what are you doing

Shouto: God’s work

broccoli boy: todoroki

broccoli boy: todoroki please

broccoli boy: oh god

07:40

class 1-GAY

katsuki: WHAT

katsuki: IN GOD’S FUCKING NAME

katsuki: is THIS

katsuki: [WHODIDTHISTOMYFUCKINGROOM.PNG]

karate kid: is that

karate kid: duct tape?

katsuki: YES

katsuki: SOME FUCKING DIPSHIT DECIDED TO COVER EVERY SINGLE FUCKING THING IN MY ROOM WITH FUCKING DUCT TAPE WHILE I WAS SLEEPING

katsuki: WHOEVER DID THIS, I WILL FIND YOU

katsuki: AND I WILL VICIOUSLY TEAR YOU APART LIMB BY LIMB

katsuki: THE HEADBOARD OF MY BED??? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???? YOU DUCT TAPED THE HEADBOARD OF MY BED TOO??????

katsuki: FUCKING COCKSUCKING ASSHOLE DIPSHIT FUCKFACE HOEBAG BITCH FUCKER STUPID CUNT

dekusquad

broccoli boy: TODOROKI

broccoli boy: WHAT DID YOU DO

Shouto: Who said it was me?

Shouto: But hypothetically

Shouto: If it was me, which it wasn’t, of course

Shouto: Maybe one should consider it payback for drugging my friend without his permission

Shouto: :)

broccoli boy: YOU DID NOT???? HAVE TO DO THIS????

Shouto: Hypothetically, Midoriya, I may know that I did not have to do it

Shouto: But, hypothetically, I may have done it anyways

Shouto: :)

ocha: TODOROKI

ocha: IT WAS YOU????

Shouto: In a hypothetical situation, perhaps

what that tongue do: high five, todoroki

Shouto: High five, Asui

what that tongue do: call me tsuyu

Shouto: Um

Shouto: Okay, Tsuyu

what that tongue do: :P

Iida Tenya: I

Iida Tenya: No words.

Iida Tenya: Respect to you, Todoroki.

Shouto: I thought I was about to be reprimanded

Shouto: Now I feel weirdly validated

ocha: iida has that effect

broccoli boy: yeah ….




02:34

Shouto: So let’s say

Shouto: I got a tongue piercing

Shouto: What would you guys think

ocha: todoroki??? are you okay???

Shouto: I may be a little drunk

ocha: where did you get the alcohol

Shouto: My brother

broccoli boy: natsuo?

Shouto: Yes

Shouto: Anyways

Shouto: Answer the question

ocha: I mean

ocha: it COULD be nice-looking

ocha: but I don’t want you do do something impulsive right now so I’m gonna say that’s a “no”

what that tongue do: don’t do anything you wouldn’t do if you were sober, todoroki

Shouto: Excuse me

Shouto: I am the opposite. of impulsibe

Shouto: It was just an inquiry

ocha: my bad todo ;P

Shouto: Hm

broccoli boy: I think it would look

broccoli boy: nice

broccoli boy: i don’t think you could be ugly even if you tried, todoroki

broccoli boy: but maybe it isn’t the best decision to consider something like a piercing while you’re incapacitated

Shouto: You’re too kind, Midoriya

Shouto: And as I said, it was just an inquiry

Shouto: Nothing serious

Shouto: Maybe

Iida Tenya: Todoroki, please. I’m too young to have a stroke.

Shouto: I am simply living life, Iida

Shouto: YOLO

Iida Tenya: Who taught you that

Chapter Text

18:34

class 1-GAY

flex tape: let’s assign a fursona to everybody in the class

katsuki: I would rather do literally anything else

flex tape: i think I’m a koala

flex tape: because I’m long skinny and lazy

sparky: where else are you long ;)

flex tape: wouldn’t you like to know ;)

katsuki: what is wrong with you

 


 

16:33

class 1-GAY

acid trip: ok guys

acid trip: important question

acid trip: would aizawa be an alpha beta or omega

katsuki: shut up

katsuki: shut up

katsuki: shut up

Iida Tenya: We are not discussing this.

acid trip: WHY

Iida Tenya: Because.

Iida Tenya: End of discussion.

sparky: who hurt u iida

Iida Tenya: My brother, but that doesn’t matter.

Iida Tenya: We are not talking about this.

mom: what is alpha beta omega

mom: why are we using terms from chemistry to describe aizawa

acid trip: oh momo

acid trip: you innocent soul

airpods: STOP

airpods: do not corrupt momo with A/B/O

acid trip: momo was corrupted the moment she got placed into this class

mom: i’m so confused

cat whisperer: why are we talking about A/B/O

cat whisperer: this is so cursed

airpods: oh no

airpods: kouda sweetie i’m so sorry an ugly bitch like kaminari brought it up

sparky: IT WASN’T EVEN ME THAT BROUGHT IT UP

airpods: it wasn’t???

airpods: oops

airpods: oh well

sparky: you’re so mean to me

airpods: boo hoo slut

airpods: cry about it <3

sparky: BITCH

 

17:03

mom: i read up… on A/B/O…

airpods: baby I’m so sorry

airpods: are you okay

mom: i don’t know???

denks & small titty goth gf

denks: baby????

denks: BABY???????

denks: might as well say WEE WOO I’M GAY FOR YOU AND WANT TO SUCK ON UR TITTIES

small titty goth gf: IT SLIPPED OUT

small titty goth gf: UGHHHH DO YOU THINK SHE SUSPECTS ANYTHING

denks: nah

denks: girls do gay shit all the time without it actually being gay

denks: bitches really do be shoving their tongues down each other’s throats and then they’re like “oh yeah I’m straight”

small titty goth gf: IHUGHUOHEOGJOEA

small titty goth gf: you’re not even wrong

small titty goth gf: god I hate u why are u right

denks: i’m just smart

denks: I’m that dude running in NYC like “let’s go lesbians let’s go”

small titty goth gf: IOHURAGUHGOI

small titty goth gf: YOU WOULD DO THAT

 

19:30

class 1-GAY

sparky: cwass in t-thiwty six houws

sparky: gonna be fiwwed wif knowwedge uwu

handyman: why are you like this

sparky: if I had a dowwar fow evewy time I heawd that question

handyman: bye

Iida Tenya: Kaminari

sparky: yeah?

Iida Tenya: Please.

Iida Tenya: Be quiet.

 sparky: anything fow you daddy

Iida Tenya:

Iida Tenya left the chat

sparky: OIHGOIHIOALKKAGG

katsuki: stop keysmashing every two seconds

katsuki: we fucking get it, you’re a bottom

sparky: bitch

sparky: the fuck else am I supposed to do

sparky: say ha ha?

sparky: lol?

sparky: you want me to fuckin chortle?

sparky: give you a good lmao?

katsuki: you do literally

katsuki: ALL OF THOSE THINGS

sparky: LET ME LIVE MY LIFE IN PEACE

katsuki: FUCK YOU

izukuwu: um, is no one gonna add iida back???

katsuki: do it yourself

izukuwu: ok

izukuwu added Iida Tenya to the chat

owochako: welcome back

Iida Tenya: I’m not sure I want to be back

 


 

14:56

quiet kids bless up

knockoff raven: momo looked so pretty today I’m cry ;’(

knockoff raven: she is The One For Me

octodad: how do you know she is The One

knockoff raven: if ur Bussy has a heartbeat when u see her then she is The One

octodad: I don’t have a Bussy

knockoff raven: too bad I guess

no I’m not mute: i

no I’m not mute:

knockoff raven: GUIHuigheo;gu

knockoff raven: I’m so sorry you read that kouda

no I’m not mute:

knockoff raven: I LOVE YOU

g major: i’m stealing that

no I’m not mute: kk <3

 


 

07:34

class 1-GAY

john cena: todoroki looks so good with a bedhead

john cena: how are you single @Shouto

Shouto: Trauma and emotional instability

john cena: i

john cena: are you serious

Shouto: Who knows

Shouto: Life is a rollercoaster and I am just going along with the ride

izukuwu: preach

Shouto: You in yourself are a rollercoaster Midoriya

Shouto: Who knows where you’re going

izukuwu: honestly? that’s true

izukuwu: wheredid I come from

izukuwu: where do I go

izukuwu: where do I come from cotton eye joe

acid trip: spittin facts izuchan

12:45

airpods: guys

airpods: I literally forgot that straight people existed

airpods: oh my god

acid trip: YOU DIDN’T

airpods: I’M SERIOUS

airpods: we were talking about the different sexualities and I was like

airpods: lesbian, gay, bi, pan, ace, demi, uhhh

airpods: and this bitch was like “straight???” and I was like WTF

airpods: I FORGOT THAT HETEROSEXUALITY WAS A THING

sparky: heterosexual here :|

airpods: LMAOOOO

sparky: where’s the joke

airpods: what

airpods: you’re not serious

sparky: what?? I’m straight

airpods: shut the fuck up

airpods: you’re not straight

sparky: yes I am???

airpods; what

airpods: kami you’ve literally taken a body shot off kirishima’s pecs

sparky: ok and

sparky: both of us said no homo after

sparky: it’s not gay

airpods: are you being serious

sparky: yes???

airpods: i cant believe this

airpods: im blocking you

sparky: WHAT

sparky: WHY

airpods: bye

sparky: is this what people call heterophobia

airpods: HUEOGH;UHDIOHND;N

katsuki: silence, bottom

airpods: I CAN’T BREATHE

16:00

sparky: yo

sparky: guys

sparky: whats your favorite anime

sparky: mine is star wars: the clone wars

cat whisperer: i’m blocking you

sparky: NO

pepe: me too

sparky: oh my god no

flex tape: idk kaminari I think mine is power rangers :\\\

katsuki: im never speaking to either of you ever again

mom: personally I love spongebob

mom: maybe that’s just me

airpods: ….

airpods: momo is cancelled

mom: oh no! whatever shall I do

airpods: weep at my feet and beg for forgiveness

sparky: sounds kinda gay

airpods: blocked