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Instruments to Sight the Stars (I've Seen Too Much)

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highway to purgatory @3001whales i awaken to ‘he thrusts his fists against the post & still insists he sees the ghosts’ in my brain. fuckin creepy @billdenbrough58

Bill Denbrough ✔ @billdenbrough58 @3001whales Imagine having to recite that constantly as a child. The best horror stems from reality.

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Losers Club 2.0

[22:34] Bev A guy remembers his childhood and suddenly every book he writes is going to be about it.

[22:35] Bev Its tired, Bill.

[23:51] Richie it’s trite, Bill.

[23:52] Eddie It’s exhausting, Bill.

[04:12] Ben It’s cliché, Bill.

[05:28] Stan It’s becoming a trope, Bill.

[05:36] Patty It’s strange, Bill.

[07:17] Mike It’s disturbing, Bill.

[07:25] Bill I hate every single one of you.

[07:26] Mike hahahaha.

[07:28] Richie no you don’t, you love us.

[07:28] Richie i send besos, and i send them from Eddie too.

[07:29] Bill Not accepted.

[07:30] Eddie :(

[07:31] Eddie Richie woke me up to write this so…

[07:31] Eddie :(

[07:34] Audra I really wish I were here for this, but alas, I was shooting.

[07:35] Audra But honestly, Bill, get a new schtick.

[07:36] Bill I am going to divorce you.

[07:37] Mike Good, I’m going to swoop in.

[07:38] Richie two for the price of one. good deal, Mike.

[07:38] Bill I am going to put you all on blast.

[07:39] Mike Bill looks so proud of that line it’s almost disgusting.

[07:40] Audra William trying to keep in touch with the youth.

[07:40] Audra Good for you, honey.

[07:41] Stan Please take your flirting elsewhere.

[07:41] Stan I will put you all at a minus eleven and roll a ten-sided die.

[07:42] Eddie I don’t think that makes sense, but I also don’t know enough about nerd stuff to dispute it.

[07:43] Richie Eddie Kaspbrak, getting off a good one!

[07:44] Stan I will boot the both of you, as well--don’t test me.

[07:45] Bill You weren’t talking about them?

Stan left the chat

Were you talking about Audra, Mike, and I?


Well, can you not? Auds and I are trying to be subtle.

Richie said that Mike gets a two-for-one deal and Mike didn’t say anything.

Besides that, subtlety went out the window after Audra met him for the first time.

He’s finally living his life for the first time, okay, Stanley?

We don’t want to encroach on that.

You’re both idiots.

But I see my bet on Mike was not misplaced.

What bet?

Doesn’t matter--add me back to the chat.

Local Legends Pod ✔ @locallegendspod Tomorrow’s podcast: Derry, Maine; Part 1. Special thanks to @billdenbrough58 & @thefakerichietozier for their contributions to the episode.

🐢turtle cult🐢 @tozierfan10101 i did my waiting. 12 years of it. IN AZKABAN @locallegendspod

lisa 👽 @agentlisascully @tozierfan10101 bitch me too???

keepin’ it weird @thejersiestdevil from what I’ve read aliens make more sense than cults

Richie “Trash Raccoon” Tozier ✔ @thefakerichietozier i think turtle and clown cults make a lot more sense than turtle and clown aliens @thejersiestdevil

Bill Denbrough ✔ @billdenbrough58 @thejersiestdevil @thefakerichietozier I believe in aliens, but not like that.

Bill Denbrough ✔ @billdenbrough Check out @locallegendspod’s new episode about Derry, ME tomorrow. (Please stop asking if it was a case of demonic possession and if ‘The Devil’s Pasture’ is based on my childhood.)

Audra Phillips Denbrough ✔ @audraaaden if @billdenbrough58 were writing the story of his childhood, there would be a lot more tragicomic nostalgia.

I… Am a Librarian @mikehanlon @audraaaden The ghosts of the past and the winds of the future winter. Tragicomic was our MO.

Audra Phillips Denbrough ✔ @audraaaden [shialabeoufapplause.gif] @mikehanlon. make room on the mantle @billdenbrough58 because there’s a new writer in town. (even if he ruined it at the end).

Audra Phillips Rumors & News @lacikay2004news Audra Phillips tweets mystery librarian (?), Mike Hanlon again. Link here.

@dizaminnelli replied to @lacikay2004news


Page Six ✔ @PageSix @audraaaden once again tweeting @mikehanlon with no word from husband @billdenbrough58.

Beverly Marsh ✔ @marshfashions Whose husband @PageSix?

@billdenbrough58 replied to @marshfashions

Mike’s, obviously

MARIA @agirlnamedmaria who is this mystery man @leslienoooope that our parents are so into???

Final Girls Club @leslienoooope idk @agirlnamedmaria but their my new ot3


Shut the fuck up, Richie - I will gut you the way Pennywise should’ve.



Who’s even in this group text?


oh shit, I didn’t mean to add you.

i’m old, I don’t know how to use technology.

Likely story.


Richie “Trash Raccoon” Tozier ✔ @thefakerichietozier hypothetically, how much cash money would I make if I sold you a story @PageSix?

Beverly Marsh ✔ @marshfashions I’m selling the story @thefakerichietozier. Need me that sweet honeymoon money.

Richie “Trash Raccoon” Tozier ✔ @thefakerichietozier @marshfashions tough luck, sweetheart, I got there first.

I… Am a Librarian @mikehanlon @marshfashions @thefakerichietozier Sorry, guys, no story selling - if anyone’s going to do it, it’s going to be me.

Stanley Uris @stantheman @mikehanlon like

Patricia @pattystweeter @stantheman Who ARE you?

Ben Hanscom 🏠 ✔ @benhanscomdesign Did you get a twitter just for this, @pattystweeter? Because if so, you’ve taken Stan’s place in my lineup.

Patricia @pattystweeter @benhanscomdesign I wish.

shine bright @likeadiamond @pattystweeter new addition to this weird group of celebrity friends and cohorts.

😎😎liz😎😎 @lizzieliz @likeadiamond i am confusion

Eddie Kaspbrak ✔ @eddiek @benhanscomdesign What lineup?

🐢turtle cult🐢 @tozierfan10101 @eddiek got verified!

is mayonnaise an instrument? @richardtozierd congrats @eddiek!

Beverly Marsh ✔ @marshfashions @eddiek Losers he would bang.

murder your childhood bully @kafkasroach yay @eddiek!!!!!

Eddie Kaspbrak ✔ @eddiek I’m above Rich, right @marshfashions?

Beverly Marsh ✔ @marshfashions No, sorry @eddiek.

Richie “Trash Raccoon” Tozier ✔ @thefakerichietozier @marshfashions that sounds fake.

Eddie Kaspbrak ✔ @eddiek @thefakerichietozier :)))

You don’t even know how laid you’re getting tonight.

I am going to make you forget everything but my name and ‘more’.

oh my god get home soon.

break those traffic laws, babe.

i was going to send a sexy selfie but i look like a dumbass.

I have an inkling I’d find it attractive anyway.

Losers Club 2.0

[17:52] Bev The lineup, by popular demand:

[17:52] Ben Beverly, this is unnecessary.

[17:53] Bill This is entirely necessary, Haystack.

[17:54] Bev 1. Beverly; 2. Richie; 3/4. Audra; 3/4. Patty; 5. Mike; 6. Eddie; 7. Stan; 8. Bill.

[17:55] Richie holy. fuck.

[17:55] Eddie Is it still necessary, Bill?

[17:56] Bill Why is it that I cannot figure out how to leave a group chat?

[17:56] Mike Bill: ‘I thought he had a crush on me’

[17:57] Mike Bill: ‘That’s what he said on twitter.’

[17:57] Stan A broken man.

[17:58] Mike Bill: ‘Oh my God, were they all just making fun of me?’

[17:58] Ben I’m not really into dudes and I just had to go with my gut.

[17:59] Mike Then why is Richie number 2? Before Audra and Patty.

[17:59] Ben Unrelated reasons.

[18:00] Eddie ???

Do you just want to elope instead?

Because all these arrangements are making me crazy.

When and where?

Losers Club 2.0

[20:34] Bev Ben and I are eloping two weekends from now - get your time off.

[20:34] Bev I already checked your schedules so I know none of you have plans.

[20:34] Richie excuse you, I had plans.

[20:35] Stan Sex doesn’t count, and you can do it in a hotel room.

[20:35] Eddie You are disgusting, Stan.

[20:35] Mike Congratulations!!!!

[20:36] Audra congrat.

[20:36] Eddie They’re not getting engaged, they’re just moving up their timeline to almost unreasonable levels.

[20:37] Richie you pregnant?

[20:37] Bev I love all of you.

[20:38] Ben She is going to murder all of you when she sees you.

[20:38] Ben Also, I’m getting married in two weeks, which is news to me.

[20:39] Stan You didn’t know?

[20:39] Patty Good job, Bev--lock that shit down.

[20:40] Bev It’s going to be in vegas at ben’s hotel.

[20:40] Mike You have a hotel?

[20:41] Ben No, I designed it. But it was special for the owner, so whenever I’m in town he lets me stay there.

[20:41] Patty Enough with the rich people shit, I don’t need this bougie tomfoolery.

[20:41] Stan Unless the tomfoolery means we all stay there for considerably cheaper.

[20:42] Ben Well, if noone minds sharing a suite, it’ll be free.

[20:42] Audra What does ‘sharing’ mean? Because I have a standing reservation at the Bellagio whenever I’m in town, and Mike and I can stay there.

[20:43] Bill And Bill.

[20:43] Audra [icantreadsuddenly.gif]

[20:44] Richie who else wants to go to every Cirque du Soleil show possible?

[20:44] Richie did you guys know that Donnie and Marie Osmund have residency????

[20:45] Stan How have you done so many shows in Vegas without knowing all of this already?

[20:45] Richie la to Vegas is like a 2 hour flight - i would just go back after the show.

[20:46] Richie but seriously i’m buying Cirque tickets, so who else wants to go?

[20:47] Patty Only if it’s the topless one.

Richie “Trash Raccoon” Tozier ✔ @thefakerichietozier wish there was an Elvis impersonator, but the wedding was pretty alright otherwise. [bevbenwedding.png]

Richie “Trash Raccoon” Tozier ✔ @thefakerichietozier also got @mikehanlon to dance, which--i can see why he doesn’t usually.

not just blue @pradapradalouboutin @lily7porter um according to here, Bev Marsh got married over the weekend

spit marking material @lily7porter won’t believe it until fully confirmed @pradapradalouboutin

I… Am a Librarian @mikehanlon Never again @thefakerichietozier. Never again will I dance whilst totally obliterated.

Eddie Kaspbrak ✔ @eddiek Is that your excuse, @mikehanlon?

Bill Denbrough ✔ @billdenbrough58 @eddiek @mikehanlon @thefakerichietozier Mike danced the night away and it was glorious.

Beverly Marsh ✔ @marshfashions Tie headband @mikehanlon!

@billdenbrough58 replied to @marshfashions

pic or it doesn’t count

Beverly Marsh ✔ @marshfashions @mikehanlon with a tie headband at 1:30 in the morning [mikewedding.jpeg]. As you can see, the reception was nine people in a hotel suite.

@billdenbrough58 @audraaaden @pattystweeter & 526 other users liked this tweet

kicking names and taking ass @johnniecomelightly okay does anyone else think there’s a weird threesome going on between the denbroughs and this hanlon guy?

TMZ ✔ @TMZ Marriage between @marshfashions and benhanscomdesign CONFIRMED. Las Vegas, Nevada; 11 DECEMBER 2017.

Patricia @pattystweeter I didn’t know my life wasn’t complete until I saw that topless acrobatic show in Vegas.

lisa 👽 @agentlisascully how do you sign up to be friends with all these guys @pattystweeter????? i need the secrets.

who killed laura @snohomishjen @agentlisascully IKR?!

Richie “Trash Raccoon” Tozier ✔ @thefakerichietozier 1. arcade; 2. the husk of a Blockbuster Video; 3. comic book store. i will let twitter decide.

@richardtozierd replied to @thefakerichietozier

2 Blockbuster, for sure. Decide what?

@jumpingtotheleft replied to @thefakerichietozier


@stantheman replied to @thefakerichietozier

4. Stand pipe.

Bill Denbrough ✔ @billdenbrough58 I am beginning to believe that @stantheman was secretly part of the clown cult all along.

Stanley 🐢 Uris @stantheman I am not, nor have I ever been, part of a murder-clown cult. Do something about your fans @billdenbrough58.

Stanley 🐢 Uris @stantheman I saw how things would go without me and I saved all of you, okay? Don’t do me like this @billdenbrough58.

Bill Denbrough ✔ @billdenbrough58 I would like to make a correction to my previous tweet: it was a joke. Please do not attack @stantheman on twitter.

viscera horror @notrebecca sounds like something someone being blackmailed by a murder-clown cult would say @billdenbrough58

Audra Phillips Denbrough ✔ @audraaaden I just received a ransom email??? But it’s from @stantheman’s account, so…

Stanley 🐢 Uris @stantheman @audraaaden Et tu?

Patricia @pattystweeter I can’t believe I married a man in a murder-clown cult. As the youth say, good thing I’m ride or die. (Do the youth say that?)

Jack-in-the-Box Jesus @emilyyyyp i am youth and i say it @pattystweeter

josie and the puddytats @thesomething @pattystweeter can confirm, am youth

Does your old divorce lawyer have a branch near Atlanta?


Sorry, Pats, I meant to send this to Bev.

That’s fine--I’ll just move in with Richie.

Apparently he’s great for after divorce.

Can you also please pick up some OJ on your way home to pack? We’re out.

Hmmm, I wonder who keeps drinking it all and then forgetting to put it on the shopping list.

Much appreciated, thanks!