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It was going to be your birthday soon and your eyebrow-less boyfriend wanted it to be special for you. He wasn't a birthday expert. In fact, no one's celebrated his birthday until two years ago when you came along.


You threw a party for him but it didn't end too well. You invited Dazai and Chuuya which wasn't a good decision on your part. Dazai got Chuuya drunk which led to a series of funny mishaps which were all recorded by Michizou. As a joke, Dazai peed into a cup. He poured the tiniest bit of wine into his cup of pee. He offered the cup to Chuuya and with no hesitation, Chuuya drank it.


That was the point in which things only got worse. Michizou couldn't stop laughing and his drunk ass ended up puking onto Akutagawa. Akutagawa did not appreciate the puke facial. Akutagawa blanked out (a.k.a. he fainted) and Higuchi tried to kill Michizou but he puked onto her too and then he choked on his puke. The both fainted.


The year after that, you didn't invite Dazai or Michizou. Chuuya got drunk once again like always. Higuchi was trying give Akutagawa who wasn't your boyfriend yet some tea to drink. Suddenly, Chuuya pushed her aside and gave Akutagawa a lap dance. The man sat there uncomfortably, knowing he couldn't do anything to someone who Dazai valued greatly. So he let Chuuya give him a lap dance.


All of this was observed by Gin who didn't do anything to help her poor eyebrow-less brother. Gin quirked her eyebrows but she didn't say anything. She sat beside Hirotsu, who watched the scene blankly.


"I think it's just about time we leave, Gin," The old man grunted as he threw his cigarette down onto the ground and stepped on it. "I'm sure there's better things to do with our time. I'm sure Michizou would be interested to know what happened without him."


Gin stood up, following her superior. As much as she wanted to stay to protect her brother, she knew it would be no use. She was only one of the Black Lizard Elite. As strong as she was, she wouldn't be able to protect Akutagawa from Chuuya. Chuuya was an executive with an ability that far surpassed her skills.


She left with Hirotsu.


But that was Akutagawa's birthday. He did not want you to feel the humiliation and anxiety that he felt on those days. So he was going to give u a surprise party.


He bought a cake at the store that looked nice enough and some candles. It was to his knowledge that candles went on cakes. They were on the cake of a store owner's kid's birthday. He noticed them before he left, the store aflame behind him.



He got everything ready for you. He fixed up the house and the table. He told Gin to busy herself for approximately 2 hours. You were alone. Any lap dancing wouldn't be done at your expense. Akutagawa would not be able to handle the work of moving his bones.


When you came home from work, you went straight to Akutagawa's house. He begged you and he seemed too desperate for you to ignore him. As you stood outside his apartment, you took note of how dark it was.


You knocked on his door, since you didn't have the keys. "Hey Aku, can you open the door."


There was a thud from the outside of the door. Then, a knock back. "Key," your emo boyfriend hissed.


You picked up the key that was slid under the door, most likely by his ability: Rashomon. You didn't understand why he couldn't just open the door. It perturbed you. This wasn't like his usual feral behavior. You slid the key into the keyhole, opening the door with a dull click. Immediately upon entering, you heard a dog growling. How strange, the Akutagawa family did not have a dog. You assumed you were just hallucinating and followed the auspicious trail of dead rats.


The lights turned on, the rats disappeared as quickly as you saw them. Rashomon skewered them, and they disappeared into a space. They were to never be found again it would seem, for all good purposes.


Suddenly, he doubled over, coughing. You ushered him onto a chair on the dining table and moved to grab him some water to drink. You noticed a birthday cake on the table with a singular candle.


Happy Birthday (Y/n)


That was sweet of him. As you hand him a glass of water, he begins to cough violently. He then coughs out his lungs and dies.


Worst birthday ever.


Suddenly, as you're about to grieve he revived and swallowed the lung back in like it was a meal. "Whoops, sorry."