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Kind words and how to use them

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“Mmn” Shuichi moaned as he woke up; a painful feeling manifested in his stomach as he lay looking at the clock, the clock said 3:00 am so Shuichi knew he shouldn’t even be awake but the pain in his stomach had other plans.

The blue haired detective turned round and saw his tiny purple haired boyfriend sleeping peacefully next to him, he smiled gently until a sharp pain caused him to grimace, he closed his eyes and tried to get back to sleep but the pain carried on, it felt almost like burning and it was making him feel sick, his stomach hurt and he was nauseous making everything a lot worse; especially his anxiety.

Shuichi hated feeling sick because feeling sick usually meant being sick and that terrified him, Shuichi attended therapy for his fear of vomiting but when faced with the real thing it really scared him, he took a breath in and out again; trying to curb the growing nausea he felt.

The young leader who lay beside him began stirring, with a little whimper he opened his eyes slowly and yawned, stretching out his limbs as he did so.
“S-Saihara-chan?” He said sleepily “w-what time is it?” Shuichi blushed gently before the nausea bought him back to his gross reality.

“It’s 3:00 am..” Shuichi said, pain evident in his voice “g-go back to sleep baby” Kokichi sensed that something was wrong and sat up, switching the light on, the light illuminated Shuichi’s sickly skin causing a little gasp to come from Kokichi’s mouth

“Uhm why are you so pale? You okay?” Kokichi asked, he moved forward and kissed Shuichi’s cheek; he felt the warmth and became even more alarmed “woah your head is pretty warm, do you have a fever?”

Kokichi had no idea how to care for someone who was sick, in the orphanage no one cared if he got sick, he had to care for himself no matter what as no one quite literally came to his rescue, he’d only just started learning healthy affection with his boyfriend and was rather worried about caring for him, this was evident on his face, Shuichi saw the smaller boy’s expression and sighed gently, with one hand on his stomach and the other reaching out, taking Kokichi’s hand in his.

“I’m just feeling a little nauseous that’s all” Shuichi said in a calm, gentle way, though Kokichi didn’t need to be an ultimate detective to see that shuichi was feeling more than a little nauseous, his hands were clammy and his breathing was shaky, like he was trying to use all his energy to remain calm for his love but Kokichi saw through his ‘lie’

“Ugh dont lie to me Shu!” Kokichi said, he flung his arms around Shuichi carelessly, trying to mask his worry with energy despite being tired, the harsh movement of being shoved forward by Kokichi made a dizzy spell come over Shuichi, the movement irritating his already upset stomach.

“Mmmn” Shuichi moaned out before a stifled gag left his lips, it surprised even Shuichi himself as he lifted a hand to his mouth, his eyes wide in alarm, he was shaking and kokichi looked on in concern, the young leader got off of his boyfriend and moved so that he was sitting next to him instead, he laughed nervously and did what he did best, made a joke about the situation.

“Ew.. Saihara-chan.. that’s pretty gross, are you gonna puke or something?” Kokichi said with nervous energy embedded into his flippant remark. Shuichi’s fragile, anxious brain focused on the word ‘puke’, he waited a few moments before feeling a sense of relief, he removed his hand from his mouth and took a shaky breath out.

“K-Kokichi please don’t mention_” Shuichi said, sickness definitely evident in his slightly slurred words as he had to stop talking while his brain highlighted the word he hated once again “please don’t mention p-puking.. I don’t feel well..”

Kokichi wanted to cuddle Shuichi and tell him everything was going to be okay, he wanted to be the supportive boyfriend that he dreamed of being, he knew that if he was sick Shuichi would comfort him entirely but Kokichi’s brain couldn’t register what he wanted.

“You’re so gross.. you shouldn’t almost yack in front of your Boyfriend, that’s not really appropriate Shuichi...! Say you’re sorry!” Kokichi said coldly, though he didn’t mean it, he wanted to help but just didn’t know how.

Shuichi’s face had turned almost grey now as he sat focusing on his breathing, he felt so sick and Kokichi’s insensitivity was not helping, he’d much rather be alone if he was honest, especially with kokichi not being very caring, he knew Kokichi couldn’t help it but none the less it was irritating at this moment in time.

“‘M-M sorry..” Shuichi slurred out, he rubbed his stomach as he breathed in and out, trying to curb the nausea once again “I-I didn’t know I was g-gonna do that..” Shuichi was feeling rather sorry for himself and he had every right to, the pain in his stomach hurt badly and he was feeling seriously queasy.

Kokichi laughed nervously again, he felt bad because he could see how sick Shuichi was and all he wanted to do was be there and love him and show him the same affection he knew he’d get from Shuichi yet his brain didn’t work the same way as Shuichi’s, Kokichi was still learning affection and this was a step that he hadn’t learned yet.

“Well try not to do it again~ I never wanna hear that disgusting sound come from you again” said Kokichi, cringing at his own words, what he had meant to say was something along the lines of ‘I don’t like hearing that you’re so sick’ but again Kokichi’s brain was rather mean to him and did not want him to say how he really felt, Kokichi watched as Shuichi lifted his hand back up to his mouth, Kokichi panicked internally upon seeing this, Shuichi couldn’t throw up, he just couldn’t, Kokichi couldn’t see a logical way he would be able to care for his boyfriend if he did throw up, he was sure he’d end up insulting him or saying something mean and making it worse, he was sure that he would annoy shuichi and the thought of not being able to comfort the person he loved the most in the world tormented the purple haired leader to no end, kokichi had become lost in thought, the torment had gotten so bad for him that he zoned out, staring at the floor and completely ignoring Shuichi’s declining state.

Shuichi was not doing well, at all. He hadn’t felt this sick in a while and he knew exactly what was coming, which made his anxiety very bad. the entire room was spinning, shuichi felt drunk despite not being anywhere near alcohol and found it increasingly difficult to focus on anything, the detective silently gagged and swallowed back the thick saliva that had formed in his mouth but that made things worse, Suddenly he got up from the bed and made a dash for the bathroom, the rapid movement of the bed releasing after Shuichi’s weight was lifted from the memory foam mattress caused Kokichi to snap out of his trance like state just in time to see Shuichi running out of the door.

“Hey wait! Saihara-chan!” kokichi called out, getting up from the bed himself and chasing shuichi down the corridor until he reached the bathroom where Shuichi slammed the door in his face. Kokichi fell backwards onto his butt and sat stunned for a few seconds until he heard the slam of the toilet lid up against the tank and what sounded like a painful burp followed by a little whimper.

Kokichi felt so helpless, he really didn’t know what to do, On one hand he felt awful that he hadn’t noticed his boyfriend becoming sicker as he’d been too wrapped up in how to help and on the other; his fear became a reality, now he was thrown in the deep end and he couldn’t help appropriately, He felt like the world’s worst boyfriend, all he wanted to do was be there for shuichi but the truth was he didn’t like himself a whole lot and he struggled to love others, he loved shuichi more than anything; that wasn’t a lie, his love for shuichi might have been the only thing he was really sure of and it was killing him inside that he wasn’t mentally capable of being there for his soulmate.

The tiny leader crawled closer to the door, he heard Shuichi burp into the bowl a few times and then moan in pain, Kokichi slumped up against the door, he could feel the coldness of the wood seeping through his thin pyjama top, he sat with his knees pressed to his chest, tears started to flow from his frustrated eyes.

“S-Shumai..?” he sniffled out, he didn’t want to cry and make things about him when his lover was in pain but he couldn’t help it; Kokichi didn’t know if shuichi could hear him or was even listening, maybe he was too sick to care but none the less Kokichi continued, his voice full of sincerity like no other time. “Shumai.. I-Im so sorry, I'm sorry I said mean things.. I don’t really think you’re disgusting I really don’t.. and I know that you can’t help being sick, I guess I’m just mad at myself for not being able to comfort you like I want to, I know of the words I want to say, I know of the things I’d like to do to help you b-but” even more tears flowed out of his eyes, it became difficult for the young leader to talk but he carried on “you mean.. the absolute world to me shuichi and I guess I was just scared that I’d be too over the top and make you anxious or make things worse.. I-I tend to do that, all I want to do is be here for you.. b-but if you want me to go back to my own room.. I-I’ll leave you alone but I just want you to know that I’m sorry and…” kokichi took a deep breath in as more tears landed on his clothing and the floor “I.. I love you”

There was silence after Kokichi had finished his sentence, he sighed and waited a few minutes before starting to get up from his place, silently crying into his shirt sleeve.

“T-The door is open ko..” Shuichi said from inside the bathroom, Kokichi’s eyes widened, he rushed to his feet and stared at the door knob for a few seconds; sniffling up the tears he’d recently cried, he turned the door knob and walked into the bathroom, finding shuichi hunched over the toilet bowl pathetically, shaking. Seeing Shuichi shaking like he was changed something in Kokichi, he really loved shuichi with every fibre in his body. Kokichi rushed to Shuichi’s side and rubbed his back in soothing circles, Shuichi blushed but it was unclear whether he was blushing out of love or the fever but of course kokichi didn’t care about that, he just wanted his love to be okay.

“p-please don’t cry.. I-Im not mad at you Kooki.. y-you know I c-could never be mad at you” Shuichi slurred, Kokichi continued to rub his back “I know you didn’t mean t-the things that you said.. you’re just not ready to h-help with strong emotions y-yet and that’s okay.. we’ll get there my sweetheart” Kokichi smiled but his happiness was cut short when Shuichi burped hard and retched harshly into the toilet, the detective took a sharp inhale and then gagged again throwing himself into a panic attack “O-Oh g-god.. Kokichi m’ s-sorry.. I-im gonna t-throw u-up.. A-ah n-no I c-cant d-do it.. k-kokichi I-I cant do it..” he cried.

Kokichi went into his pocket and got out two bobby pins, usually he’d use them to pick locks but this time he used them to pin shuichi’s bangs out of his face so he wouldn’t get sick in his hair, he bent down next to his love and rubbed his back gently in circles once again and even though shuichi couldn’t see Kokichi’s face, kokichi smiled comfortingly in his direction, he lent in and kissed the detective on his head.

“you can do this, I promise, I know you can because you’re the strongest person I k-know.. i-its okay.. g-go ahead my love.. I-I’m right here..” Kokichi reassured, Shuichi was shaking violently, almost trembling now, he was very anxious but he did feel safe with his love by his side and with a violent heave the detective bought up a wave of sick, he coughed and struggled to catch his breath as the next wave made its appearance and the wave after that. Kokichi grimaced a few times but he remained calm rubbing Shuichi’s back and whispering sweet nothings into his ringing ears.

Once Shuichi was done, he desperately tried to get his breath back, but it was clear he was struggling, Kokichi was quick to help and undid the detective’s top buttons of his night shirt and loosened the bow to his night pants to give him some relief, Shuichi moaned out in assuagement, no longer feeling his tight pants crushing his aching stomach.

Shuichi waited a few minutes before flushing the toilet, he slumped backwards but kokichi caught him in his arms, moving up against the wall so that Shuichi could lay in his lap, kokichi stroked his love’s head gently, prompting a little smile from Shuichi, he felt calm and safe in Kokichi’s arms.

“A-Are you feeling a little bit better Shumai?” Kokichi asked gently, Shuichi nodded his head and looked up at his love with his beautiful golden eyes, Kokichi blushed, Shuichi’s eyes were his very favourite.

“I feel like I’m gonna be sick again.." Shuichi said, burping into his shaky palm "but i-i think I’m okay for now..” Shuichi sniffled, taking a breath in and puffing a breath out, he was still very anxious and not quite out of his panic attack, his head was now starting to hurt and he felt very dizzy “T-Thank you for comforting me Ko.. I know that was hard for you and I really appreciate it” Kokichi stroked his head, feeling the warmth come off from his lover’s skin.

“y-you’re welcome.. I r-really wanted to help you s-so i'm glad that i-I could help at least a little bit.. and I’ll be right here when you need to be sick again.. I-Im not going anywhere okay?” Kokichi declared, Shuichi chuckled gently as Kokichi put his hand on Shuichi’s stomach and began to rub, shuichi moaned out at the relieving feeling that kokichi’s rubs gave him.

“I love you so much kokichi.. im so thankful for you..” Shuichi declared lovingly and gently, closing his eyes in Kokichi’s lap, Kokichi teared up again, those were the words that he longed to hear, the words that put him at ease, he never wanted to leave Shuichi’s side and vowed to stay with him as long as the detective needed him.