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Black waters of time

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Felix wakes up to a cold, humid room swarmed in thick black darkness. The water under him is freezing, as deep as a pond, and so he gets up as quickly as he can, keeping his balance despite the dizziness that attacks him.

 

‘You should be more careful.’ 

 

The sudden voice echoes, and despite its unfamiliarity, Felix isn’t surprised to hear it. It feels like the voice of his father, but different. Juvenile, clear. Maybe more like his brother’s. When Felix tries to move, his bones hurt, but especially his head feels like it’s about to burst into a million pieces.

 

He finally looks up, and sees a man that inspires him the same feeling of ease as the voice. Clear blue eyes like his father’s, midnight sky hair like his own, but significantly longer than Felix’s, tied to one side of his head with a royal blue ribbon and resting over his shoulder. Old clothes Felix remembers seeing on history books. A familiar sword attached to his belt, an even more familiar shield at his side, glowing golden. The man sits on the water, seemingly unbothered by it, legs crossed; and his cheek rests on his fist, with an irritated expression.

 

This looks like an older Glenn, if nothing else. The thought of suddenly seeing ghosts, or maybe the water he’s still kneeling in, makes him shiver.

 

Felix raises an eyebrow, and somehow his own voice doesn’t falter despite the cold. ‘Who the hell are you?’

 

‘You do not remember me.’ He states, letting out a deep, annoyed sigh. ‘I should have expected it.’

 

‘Expected-’ Felix starts, and shakes his head. This is confusing enough as it is. ‘Just answer the damn question.’

 

‘My identity is of no relevance to you. At least not yet. But,’ a sudden half smile appears on the man’s face. ‘I suspect you might be able to guess it.’

 

Felix scoffs. Is he mocking him? ‘If it’s not relevant, I don’t care. Get me out of this place.’

 

The man scoffs back, funnily enough. ‘Patience, rascal.’

 

‘What did you just call me?’ 

 

He watches the man get up, and gets ready to fight with his fists if necessary, but all he does is walk closer to him and squat down, until they’re on the same eye level. They stare back at each other, Felix’s amber eyes and the man’s familiar blue eyes. They’re just like Glenn’s, just like his father’s.

 

If he were a completely madman, he’d say this man is… 

 

‘Now, listen with as much attention as you can offer me.’

 

Felix frowns, but decides to stay still and listen.

 

‘We must protect Loog. In times gone by,’ he starts, before Felix can ask any questions. ‘I swore to him I would protect him. To the bitter end, I would be his sword and shield, and even beyond said end, my soul would come back to him, to guard him. No matter where the flow of time took us.’

 

‘...You’re a lunatic,’ is the best Felix can muster. ‘And I’m having a bad dream.’

 

‘You are dying, Felix. And I can not allow that. Not when you’re the only one that made the correct choice,’ he mutters, distressed, and his hands grab Felix’s shoulders. If this weren’t a bad dream, that grip would probably bruise him. ‘The choice to stand by Loog.’

 

By Dimitri .

 

‘I’m here to give you another chance,’ he continues, ‘to protect and guide him. The man we both love, no matter his name.’

 

Love. The concept Felix never dared to name his feelings for Dimitri with.

 

‘I don’t… Love. I couldn’t possibly love a beast.’

 

‘Yet you do, you fool.’ Felix opens his mouth, but Kyphon’s grip on his shoulders tightens. ‘Now, it is time for you to go back.’

 

‘Wait-’

 

And then, Kyphon pushes him back, to the puddle of frozen water, and somehow he’s sinking, sinking in the puddle that now feels more like the whole northern sea, and he can’t breathe, he’s drowning, he’s suffocating, he’s dying-


In the frozen water, Felix sees everything. The many times his soul has been tied to Dimitri’s, the many names he has worn with the generations, how many other Fraldarius and Blaiddyd have yearned, the many unfulfilled desires and tears left behind by a curse he can’t understand.

 

His eyes burn and cry, and his tears become part of the same water he’s drowning in.


He wakes up to heavy breathing and to a severe pain in his head, to the shadow of a beast hovering over him and the beast’s arms around him holding him tightly, cradling him like he’s the most important being in the world. There’s also a warm feeling close to his chest, a familiar, distant healing spell.

 

‘Felix.’ The beast mutters, desperately, and Felix’s strange dreams vanish from his mind, slowly, as if dissolved in salt and water. ‘Felix, please. Please, come back to me, I- I’ll do anything, I…’

 

‘Sh… Shut...’ He manages, having trouble keeping his eyes open. The tight hug is undone, but those strong arms are still around him, holding him together and one blue eye looks at him in immense relief, glistening with tears. Besides him, another familiar figure hovers over him.

 

‘Oh, thank the Goddess, Felix, you’re awake, you’re- Felix…’

 

One of Felix’s arms manages to cling to Dimitri’s shoulder. ‘Urgh…’

 

‘What’s wrong?!’ the boar keeps panicking, and if only, if only he could keep his damn mouth shut. 

 

‘M-My head… Fuck, it… Shut up…’

 

‘Ah, I see…’ Dimitri lowers his voice, and Felix sees a relieved smile on his handsome- stupid face as he looks up at the other figure. ‘Mercedes...’

 

‘Let’s take him to one of the tents,’ her soft voice says, ‘where he’ll be able to rest properly.’

 

Felix groans weakly, but Dimitri picks him up nonetheless, and he realizes he wouldn’t be able to stand on his feet anyway. 

 

‘Boar.’ He manages, and Dimitri’s gaze is immediately on him again.

 

‘Yes?’

 

‘Did you… see them, too?’

 

Dimitri raises an eyebrow. ‘...Them?’

 

Felix presses his lips together, wondering himself who “they” were. Probably just a very vivid dream, but…

 

‘Ugh. Forget it.’

 

‘Alright.’