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All Stars Rewritten

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On a dock, a man stands, facing the ocean with a wide, plastic smile. A member of his camera crew waves at him from a boat a few feet away, cueing him to begin his lines.

The man’s grin intensifies further, something that would seem impossible. “Welcome to Total Drama All Stars! ” The host welcomes warmly. “I’m back, ready to reunite with the people I love — to hurt!”

His smile earls into a devious smirk. “This season, we’ll be bringing back 18 of our all stars from our original cast, exclusively from seasons 1, 2 and 3. no one liked those wannabes from last season; oops. For this season, our cast will be competing in the most toughest season yet, emotionally and physically!”

“Anyway, please welcome our cast!” The host greets as a boat boards the dock.

A Hispanic young male steps onto the once stable dock, now rotting in some places with planks slapped on the top poorly. He eyes the people around him warily and annoyed, first the host who’s smile made him want to barf, then the camera men and interns who were wrapped around the host’s finger, rushing to his aid at his hour of need.

No sign of the competition , he noted duly to himself.

“Alejandro!” The host says excitedly, an emotion which his companion did not return. He glares icily at the host.

“Stuff it, McLean!” Alejandro snaps. “You stuffed me in a robot suit for a year and for what, ratings? Do yourself and everyone else a favor by shooting yourself out of whatever torture device of elimination you have this time around, Chris!”

The man, now identified as Chris, doesn’t seem to be surprised or annoyed by the younger man’s rant. In fact, he seemed to welcome it. With neither voice nor smile wavering, Chris continues on. “Thank you for that, Alejandro! And you’ll be meeting the elimination device soon!” He winks in Alejandro’s direction, to which the platter frowns at but doesn’t say anything, knowing the next contestant would be boarding the dock any minute.

“Now boarding the dock, welcome our surfer beach babe, Bridgette!”

Alejandro winces at the name, knowing the two of them wouldn’t be getting along well this season. At all.

When Bridgette boards the dock again, Chris has to blink to realize this is  Bridgette Bridgette, not the 16 year old Bridgette. She looked identical to when she first arrived at Camp Wawanakwa, surfboard in hand and easy smile effortlessly on her face.

Her smile nearly slips into a scowl when she spots the other contestant on board. “Alejandro,” she greets stiffly with a nod of her head which he returns out of decency. “Chris!” Bridgette greets in a higher pitches tone, clearly fake. “How are you? Long time no see!”

Either Chris knows she’s avoiding conversation with Alejandro or he’s completely oblivious to it, as he answers without a beat. “Great now that I get to torture you lot!”

Bridgette‘s face immediately flashes to unimpressed. He moves on. “Cody! Welcome back, bro!”

Cody grins a meek smile, and like Bridgette, he didn’t seem to change at all. His boyish smile was still plastered on his face, and he high-fives Chris, is flat-out ignored by Alejandro and is given a small smile from Bridgette that doesn’t reach her eyes fully.

Cody gulps and chuckles awkwardly. “Okay then!” He says, still chuckling. “Good talk, good talk...”

Chris grins at the camera, knowing the camera is zooming in on his face. “ I can already feel the drama bubbling!”  He exclaims excitedly.

Chris straightens up again, pretending as if nothing had happened. “Everyone, welcome our favorite CIT, Court -ney!” Chris emphasizes the first half of her name with the same cheesy grin on his lips. Bridgette is the only one who seems fully happy by this news, though, of course, Chris is too, knowing what drama is about to go down.

Sure enough, Courtney herself stomps onto the dock, and Chris is again given a nostalgic wave, but not from the 16 year old Courtney; more of a 16 year old Heather.

Courtney’s dark, calculating eyes sweep the people surrounding her; Chris, as ghastly as ever ... Ale- jerk- dro ... Cody the creep ... oh, thank God, Bridgette!

Unlike Heather’s arrival, Courtney’s stone-cold face softens into a sincere smile as she dashes over to her blonde friend. She gives a sharp nod to her old teammate, Cody, but doesn’t bother giving any formalities to Alejandro or Chris.

The (only) two girls exchange a hug and immediately burst into a conversation. “How are you?” Courtney asks genuinely, her lips still stretched into a smile. Bridgette laughs lightly, grinning like an awestruck idiot.

“Things have been great! I’ve missed you so much, we have so much to catch up on!”

“Oh, I know! I’ve been meaning to talk to you for awhile now —“

“A-hem!” Chris clears his throat dramatically. For the first time in front of the cameras, he frowned, not impressed. “Enough with the love in, please? This is Total Drama All Stars, not Total Friendship All Stars, all right? My ratings would totally bust!”

Courtney’s smile is immediately wiped clean off her face. With a huff, she crosses her arms and narrows her eyes at Chris, silently abiding him to continue.

Chris faces the camera once again. “Welcome back our momma’s boy, DJ!”

DJ, bashful as always, steps off the boat, and waves modestly at the camera. He smiles to everyone, even the interns behind the camera. DJ (and his luggage) join his ex-Killer Bass teammates, Bridgette and Courtney.

The three of them exchange their formal “hellos” and “‘how are you?’s” along with the “‘I missed you!’s”, while Cody awkwardly scratched his neck at the friendship-ness (Was that a word? he wondered) before him. Chris would probably hiss at him if he tried to talk to him and his last encounter with Alejandro was him beating him up....

I guess I’ll just keep myself company, Cody decides, that is, until someone I know shows up.

Unfortunately, someone else he did not know showed up.

“Total Drama’s Bad Boy, Duncan! Welcome back to Wawanakwa, dude!”

Duncan, smirk forever plastered on his lips, leaps off the boat and lands on the planks. He blanks Chris and Cody completely, spares a glance at Alejandro and Courtney (to which they both immediately look away), gives a small smile to Bridgette and a fist bump to DJ.

Bridgette watches DJ and Duncan do that handshake that all guys in the world knew somehow — and she pities Courtney. Unintentionally, she shuffles closer to her friend and drapes an arm across her shoulders, an action which Courtney unconsciously repeated.

“Completing the Killer Bass Five, we have Party Boy Geoff!” Chris announces, smile still intact despite all the love around him.

As expected, Geoff let’s out a long “woo-hoo!” as he boarded the dock. He gives a fist bump to everyone, including Alejandro, but gives a peck on the lips for Bridgette.

“Awesome to be back, man!” Geoff exclaims excitedly, not bluffing in the slightest.

Chris grins. “Finally somebody’s grateful for all of the opportunities I’ve given you all!” Chris says, slightly miffed.

Everyone’s eyes burn into Chris’s back, skeptical glares blaring at him.

“Moving on, we have Gwen!” Chris smirks. He winks at the camera man and mouths two syllables only; dram-a.

When Gwen steps onto the dock, most talking and bickering ceases. Bridgette nudges Courtney, who glances over her shoulder, but when she sees who it is, she turns right back around, pretending she hadn’t seen her.

I refuse to give her even a glare, Courtney promises herself. It’ll just do me more harm than good. Whatever, she’ll get what’s coming to her.

Slightly disheartened by the girls’ lack of welcome, Gwen glances at Alejandro and Cody. Alejandro gives her a glance-over but doesn’t approach her whatsoever, and Cody looks like he’s about to talk to her, but Duncan interferes and kisses her cheek.

“Hey, babe,” Duncan smirks, and Gwen smiles at him, unaware that he quickly glanced at Bridgette and Courtney.

Neither girls were paying attention or giving a shit, and Geoff and DJ were talking animatedly beside them.

Alejandro smirks at the tension that’s unintentionally being unfolded. At least Chris won’t be complaining about ratings this season, he thinks to himself. They’re being made without his help.

 


 

Harold and Heather had both returned to Wawanakwa with their own iconic and memorable lines.

Harold has wheezed in his raspy voice “Awesome, ” when he had arrived, and his one-liner “ GOSH,” had made a return when Duncan had barely lasted 15 seconds without calling him “dorkwad”.

Heather scoffed at the sight at her teammates, ignored Alejandro’s winning charming smile, and stood stiffly next to Courtney, who had been the only one (besides Alejandro) to say hello to her.

Izzy had mostly been ignored upon her entry, as she wasn’t exactly the most liked or respected when it came to her craziness, but she didn’t mind, already laughing about some inside joke only she seemed to understand.

Leshawna arrived in both sass and class, ignoring her past “suitors” (a term one would use loosely), Alejandro and Harold. She gives her usual “Whassup, girl?” to Gwen and “Give me some sugar, brother,” to DJ, insults Heather in tradition of their long rivalry, and sashays to the end of the dock to chat up her friend Gwen.

Lindsay stepped onto the dock, as glamorous as ever. With a flick of her hair behind her shoulder, Lindsay struts onto the dock, luggage hauled behind her.

What is up with the nostalgia? Chris thinks, shaking his head. He grins and welcomes her formally, to which Lindsay needed a reminder who he was (again).

Without even needing an introduction, Noah steps onto the dock, clearly already annoyed. Before Chris can introduce Noah, he speaks first.

“I’m only here because of your stupid contract, do yourself a favor and don’t speak to me,” he snaps to Chris. He stands next to Heather, and they both exchange a miffed glance before looking away, their eyes flitting back to the front dock.

Owen practically slams onto the dock, soaking some of the contestants, much to their annoyance — but not necessarily their surprise.

Despite his good intentions and kind actions, not many campers are too happy to see him. He chuckles awkwardly, his fingers already playing with themselves, and quickly shuffles to the end of the dock, planting himself directly next to Noah.

Everyone heard Sierra before they see her, a large ear-splitting squeal roaring above any chatter from the contestants. Several of them wince and cover their ears, too which Sierra giggles (slightly) apologetically.

She gasps when her eyes land on her favorite contestant; “ Codykins !” She shrieks, immediately rushing over to give him a bone crushing hug.

Chris chuckles. “Glad to see them reunited!” He flashes a devilish grin. “Next up, we have more-heartbroken-than-heartthrob, musical genius Trent!”

Trent boards the dock, quietly and rather awkwardly. He hadn’t kept in contact with majority, if not all, of the cast after his last season, and he didn’t want to keep in contact with certain campers....

Eyes down and avoiding everyone’s eyes, Trent plants himself right next to some of his ex-Drama Brothers band mates, Harold and Cody. The three of them talked politely and soon enough, they had broken the ice, talking as if no time had passed since their breakup.

If they noticed Sierra snapping photos, talking giddily about a “Drama Brothers Reunion”, none of them mentioned it.

“We have 17 All Stars on deck, with one more to go! Who will it be? What drama will unfold this season? Could I possibly become even hotter?” Chris grins an unapologetic smile for his clear narcissism. “Find out next time on Total! Drama! All Sta-“

Before he can finish his sentence, Noah shoves him off the dock, a satisfying splash! coming from the water. Noticing the amused stares along with the perplexed ones, Noah shrugs, not regretting it one bit.

“What? I’ve been wanting to do that since the first day we came on this dreaded island!”

Chris emerges, spitting water out, along with not nice things. “-stars!” He finished, somehow still smiling an extremely forced smile.

”Cut!” Chris shouts a few seconds after he had emerged. He climbs back onto the dock, his smile gone with no trace left, a glare burned on his facial features. “What the hell, man?” He asks Noah, who shrugs unsympathetically.

”Payback’s a bitch,” Noah says monotonous.

”Whatever,” Chris says, still miffed. “I’ll be back in five, there better not be any funny business while I’m gone!”

”Ouch, Chris, I’m offended you’d think we’d cause trouble while you’re gone!” Duncan says too sincerely.

This seems to give Chris an idea, as he has an evil smirk on his face. “To make sure you’ll stay in line, I’ll have our dear Chef to watch over you to make sure you stay out of trouble. I’m sure you remember the fish cabin pretty well, don’t you?”

Chris laughs and stalks away, leaving Duncan flustered in the memory of the consequence he paid when he pushed Chef too far....

I hate Chris, Duncan decided, assigning the blush on his cheeks to anger at Chris.

 



With Chef watching over the group, no funny business indeed unfolded. Chris has returned, five minutes later on the dot, with dry clothes, no trace of Noah’s deed left behind.

Action!” A cameraman shouts.

”Welcome back to Total Drama All Stars! Chris welcomes. “Last time, 17 of our 18 contestants had been welcomed back to Camp Wawanakwa, their personal hell! Noah shoved me off the deck, and he will regret it! Now, we await our 18th and final All Star!”

As soon as the words fly out of Chris’s mouth, a yacht boards the dock, with Tyler stepping on shortly afterwards.

Frowning, Chris begins to reprimand Tyler, “Dude, you were supposed to wait for after my cue!”

Tyler shrugs, not really apologetic. “Uh, sorry?”

Chris sighs, and continues in a bored and unenthusiastic voice, “Everyone welcome Tyler back to Camp Wawanakwa.”

Dead silence follows. “Uh, isn’t there supposed to be some type of welcome for Tyler?” Chris asks, glancing at Lindsay, who shrugs. “Anyone?”

An intern quickly hands Chris a magazine, the cover which couldn’t be seen. “What do you mean, they broke up?” Chris asks, in disbelief. Noticing Tyler’s glare, Chris winces. 

“Riiiight, sorry ‘bout that, dude,” Chris says unconvincingly, tossing the magazine over his shoulder into the water.

The contestants could only catch a glimpse of a picture of Lindsay and Tyler with a tear between them, and in bold letters above; “TOTAL BREAKUP!

”Now, campers, if you’ll follow me, we have some things to discuss!” Chris says, his hands behind his back, his feet already making their way to the mess hall, where the contestants knew they’d be served a meal of awful food from Chef; food their bodies had developed an immunity to.

Once inside, Chris clears his throat, smile forever etched on his face. “Please sit at the table you sat in during your time in Total Drama Island. The nostalgic factors will totally up my ratings!”

Rolling their eyes and sighing, the cast reluctantly abides to his wish.

An intern hands him three rolled up flags, no doubt the symbols for the teams about to be given. Just as they had been assigned the first time they were ever put on a team for the series....

”Throughout the show, you have all been assigned to a team through different methods. Randomly in Island, chosen through a representative in Action, based on challenge performance like World Tour and by cabin arrangements in Revenge of the Island. This season, you’ll be sorted based on groups a select few has personally chosen and wishes to see more of!” Chris announces, shaking the rolls like maracas. “You guys excited?”

Of course blank stares met him. “Just get on with it, Chris!” Both Heather and Courtney shout at once, to which they both glanced at the other surprised and slightly miffed.

”Whatever! Anyway, the teams! On team KB we have Killer Bass All Stars Bridgette, Courtney, DJ, Duncan, Geoff and Harold.”

Chris tosses the red fabric to Geoff, who unfolds it. Their symbol for the season was very similar to the Killer Bass’ flag, six peeved fishes who stood side by side in a circle.

”On the T-Stirrers we have Alejandro, Gwen, Heather, Leshawna, Lindsay and Trent! Can’t WAIT to see the drama there!”

Once again, Chris tosses a fabric to a team member, this time a yellow piece to Leshawna. She unfolds it, and upon seeing a large teacup, she exclaims in disbelief; “The T-Stirrers?”

Chris shrugs, not caring for her opinion. “That’s a term the youngsters use to call drama today, tea. We were thinking of renaming the series to Total Tea to appeal to younger audiences, but decided Total Drama was too iconic.”

A shiver runs through the contestants’ spines at the thought of being apart of a show called Total Tea. It was laughable.

”Our last team is made up of oddballs Cody, Izzy, Noah, Owen, Sierra and Tyler.”

He tosses a green flag to Tyler, who doesn’t catch it (not like that surprised anyone anymore), but when Noah stoops down to picks it up, he unfolds it, and rolls his eyes with an exasperated sigh.

Curious, the group now christened as The Oddballs looks over Noah’s shoulder, and all immediately burst into fits of complaints.

Enough, already!” Chris says, annoyed. “What is with the complaining?”

”Our lack of a symbol, that’s what!” Noah says, only half-annoyed. He had stopped caring about the show long ago.

Chris snatched it back and snickers, before revealing it to the cameras and rest of the contestants. A green question mark was printed on the fabric with nothing else.

”Seriously, how lazy were the designers? Sucks to be The Oddballs!” Izzy laughs at the misfortune. Some gave her a side-eye, unsure if she was aware that she was apart of The Oddballs it not.

Chris, still laughing, wipes tears from the corners of his eyes that had formed. “Aw man, normally I would fire the designers for this but this is too funny to fire someone over! Sorry, Oddballs, but this team logo is here to stay! However, in other news, the confessionals are now open for you all to use. Dinner is at 6, it’s mandatory as I will be explaining the challenge for tomorrow.”

 


 

Courtney enters the confessional, sitting down quietly, glancing at the camera recording her every move. She clears her throat, ready to begin her spiel. 

“I have no problem with my team; so far. Geoff, DJ and Bridgette are all good players and are great friends, Harold and I are something like civil, and as much as I hate to say it, Duncan doesn’t do too bad in challenges ...” Courtney pauses to smirk. “But if he screws up, he has got to go!”

She leaves, satisfied with her input, the confessional door slamming behind her.

 



Bridgette enters next, but before she opens her mouth, she listens to make sure no one surrounds her. Once she’s positive she’s alone, then she begins.

”I really hope that Duncan, Harold and Courtney can put their differences aside, for the sake of the team. I know Court and Harold are civil, but push to shove and they’ll snap — and don’t even get me started on Duncan and his dilemmas! Wherever he goes, trouble follows and I do not like it. We’ll need all the luck we can get!”

Bridgette leaves the confessional, not feeling any better than when she began. 


 

Leshawna frowns, not happy at all. Her brows are furrowed and a fire is prominent in her eyes, not spoken of but very much there.

”I am definitely not in a peachy mood!” She starts, practically growling. “Ale-jerk-dro and Heather are downright snakes, Lindsay can’t remember anything for the life of her, Trent and Gwen will be awkward the entire time and everyone’s become so rotten. We haven’t even started and I’m already sick of this!” 


 

Lindsay had entered the confessional and was already confused, having no idea where the confessional camera even was.

Standing in the wrong direction, her hands on her hips with her butt towards the camera, she wonders aloud; “How do these things work again?” before shrugging and exiting the confessional.

 


 

Noah glances up at the camera and sighs, already regretting entering the confessional, with or without his book. He starts in his usual bored and monotonous tone; “Another year, another season, another cast of psychos and once again me wishing I never signed that contract. Rah-rah, hip, hip hooray for me.”

He leaves the confessional, having enough of the show for one day. 


 

Sierra seems to be the only one who had been excited about the new season or making a confessional. She gasps, snapping pictures away on her phone.

”This is my first time ever being in a confessional on the island! My fellow bloggers will be so excited!” Sierra squeals, still snapping away on her phone.

She continues on her tangent about the season. “I’m on Codykin’s team! Again! I have to tell my blogger friends ASAP! The others are okay, too, I guess. This season there will be SO much drama and my fans and fellow bloggers will be well-fed!”

Sierra grins, her smile radiant. “I cannot wait for this season!”

 


 

Hours had went by, confessionals had been made and luggages had been unpacked. Friends and enemies alike had caught up with each other, and there was only one more thing to do to finish the day; a date with Chef’s food.

The two tables had vanished and in place were three circle tables, set in the mess hall in a triangular shape. 

Everyone had gotten their meal from Chef, (guesses from what it as varied from rice and chicken to slop, to curry to anything else,) and they had seated themselves down at their assigned tables.

No one was talking, the only sounds were silverware (plastic spoons, knives and forks) scraping against the plates. 

You could cut the tension with a knife.

”Oh my god, these campers are like statues! They haven’t spoken in forever! Somebody speak already!” Chris shouts, annoyed.

Many of the contestants roll their eyes, but one decides just to avoid the awful, stiff conversations and jump right ahead to what the challenge was. 

”So, about that challenge, Chris?” Cody asks, chuckling quietly after his words, a habit of his. Chris clearly brightens, pleased someone cared about his challenge.

”Thank you, Cody! It feels great to be appreciated!” Chris begins, grinning his irritating grin. “You challenge is at the top of the cliff, like your very first challenge! Anyway, you’ll dive, pick an item from underwater that represents one of your fellow castmates. You’ll have to guess what belongs with who; the most right, wins! The challenge starts 10AM sharp tomorrow, change in your swimsuits and don’t be late!”

They stare back blankly at Chris, until Heather voices what they’re all thinking.

”Chris, what do you mean by ‘an object that represents one of your fellow castmates?’”

”Good question, Heather!” Chris says, still smiling. “Your parents sent in items that have a close connection to you for this challenge! You’ll have to guess what belongs to who, and whoever guesses the most wins the challenge! Any more questions?”

”Yes I have another question!” Courtney snaps from her seat. “You’re telling me you put not only our belongings underwater, but our cherished belongings? And our parents willingly handed them over?”

”Well, when you put it like that ....” Chris mumbles, before widening his eyes. “Chef! Put the objects in waterproof cases! I cannot handle another lawsuit right now!”

Chris straightens up as if nothing had happened. “Any more questions?” He asked.

The cast glances at eachother, but no more questions are brought up.

”Good, now go to bed!” Chris snaps as they all file out of the room.

After there’s no one left in the mess hall, Chris turns to Chef; “Courtney’s lawyers are bad enough, can you imagine her parents’ lawyers? Yikes, am I right?”

 


 

Chris had sent them all to bed, but not all of the contestants were sleeping so soundly.

In The Oddballs cabin, Noah, Cody, and Tyler were just trying to get through the night while Owen and Izzy were being themselves while Sierra’s phone was constantly on, brightness all the way up.

Hugging pillows around their ears, they tried to welcome sleep, but sleep didn’t answer their calls until late at night when Sierra’s phone had died.

The T-Stirrers were entirely silent, too exhausted to even bicker with one another.

Alejandro and Heather sat on Alejandro’s bunk together, cuddling and kissing, not caring they seemed to be the villains of the story in everyone’s eyes.

Gwen sat up in her bed, sketching in a spare journal she had found in her luggage; she had learned not to bring her diary after her first season.

Lindsay and Leshawna were sleeping on their separate beds, quiet and not caring of the festivities surrounding them.

However, Trent sat alone on the porch, strumming and singing away on his guitar, a song that would always be his favorite no matter how much time passed; She Would Be Loved.

In the KB cabin, all of the teammates were trying their best to fall asleep and make it to the morning. Harold was snoring loudly as always, Geoff and Bridgette were sleeping together, arms around each other. DJ had fallen into unconsciousness after feeding Bunny, Duncan had fallen asleep with his headphones on, leaving one KB a member wide awake.

Courtney strategized, wrote letters and strategized some more, continuing writing until she got blisters on her hands and her pencil was dull, until even the interns had gone to bed. 

She was determined that this season was her season, and there would be no mistakes or distractions this time. The prize was hers, and no one would beat her to it this time.

Then she slept, dreading when the sun would come up and she’d have to face reality.

Because quite frankly, reality wasn’t on her side often. 

Chapter Text

Chris sits in the confessional, another one of his shit-eating grins plastered on his face. Despite the fact that he usually does a recap of the previous episode on the dock, Chris begins his narration of the first episode of the season without a hitch.

”Previously on  Total Drama All  Stars 18 of your favorite contestants were welcomed back to the island where they will continue to have to fight for their invincibility and possession of the grand prize, a smackin’ one million bucks! Friendships and conflicts alike were rekindled, tensions already high, along with my ratings! Will someone opt out of today’s challenge? Who will be sent home? What secrets do our contestants have hidden in their past? All this and more on today’s episode of;  Total! Drama! All Stars!”

Not even a full ten seconds after Chris finishes, a knock comes from the door.

”Are you about done?” An annoyed Noah asks from the otherside.

”Why do you care?” Chris snaps, peeved he was interrupted — sort of.

”Well, I have another juicy confessional to make, that’ll totally up your ratings ...!”

”...Fine. Don’t be late for the challenge, Noah-It-All,”

”Clever.” Noah mocks sarcastically while Chris glowers, leaving the confessional.

Noah grins at the camera, smirking triumphantly. “There was no juicy confessional. Just wanted to bug that pest like he does to us. It’s kind of fun, not gonna lie.”

 


 

Chris is back in the confessional, definitely not impressed. “Noah, that was  not funny. At all. Anyway, welcome back from the break, viewers!

”Anyway, last episode we announced the challenge. I’d love to say that there was drama while they dove off the cliff; Courtney threatening to call her lawyers, some cat-fight from the T-Stirrers, Izzy scaring the absolute shit out of everyone, but nothing! Absolutely nothing! Whatever, I need footage and they’ll see what’s coming up for them later on!” 

 


 

Throughout everything the mess hall has witnessed in it’s years of existing, this morning was definitely strange. All 18 of the contestants were in their swimsuits, slurping on something that looked like muddy soup an eight year-old made in their backyard, which was nothing in comparison on the scales of weird compared to the fact that they were all having pleasant conversations with each other, something that was quite rare on  Total Drama.

At the T-Stirrers’ table, things were admittedly a bit stiff. Lindsay was talking about her modeling internship to no one in particular, Gwen about the art school she had managed to get into to Trent and Leshawna, who she was friendly with. Alejandro and Heather were just discussing strategy, completely ignoring the others unless they wanted to put in their (unwanted) opinion on whatever subject they were discussing.

The Oddballs were being their usual, odd and mismatched selves. Tyler and Cody both held a polite conversation to keep from being awkward while Sierra topped away on her phone wildly. Noah ate his food silently, occasionally inputting a sarcastic remark to Izzy and Owen’s disturbing conversation; ranging from some Nerf gun war Izzy had with her twice-removed’s to the amount of burgers Owen could shove in his mouth before passing out (21 burgers, though he passed out about six minutes into it).

The KB members were overall friendly and actually acted like a group of friends in a highschool cafeteria. Geoff and DJ traded soups, as Geoff wanted the one with less crackers while DJ wanted more (for Bunny). Courtney and Bridgette talked and gossiped, completely ignoring everyone else. Harold was yet again on a tangent about his Camp Steve awards, while Duncan blanked him out, wishing he would shut up so he could talk to Geoff and DJ.

GOOD MORNING, CAMPERS! ” Chris shouts in his megaphone, causing an array of sporks falling on the ground, and glares thrown his way.

If looks could kill....

”Anyway,” Chris says smugly, pretending he hadn’t shouted. “Challenge time! Chop chop, we don’t have all day!”

Many of the contestants groan, getting up to toss their leftover food away, while some greatfully toss the soup/sorry excuse for breakfast away, giving their poor tastebuds a break. 

Once outside, the group begins their trek up the iconic cliff where their first challenge had taken place, and where the next challenge would begin.

Once they had all reached the top, light small talk flowed throughout the group, waiting on Chris.

“I wonder what he took from me!” Lindsay squealed to Leshawna.

The two were discussing the upcoming challenge, from who they thought would win (themselves, obviously), who would lose (anyone who wasn’t them!), and in the case they lost, how they would vote off (they both mutually agreed on Heather).

Leshawna shrugs before frowning, “Oh, he better not’ve taken anything from my cousins, or he is gonna get it!” Leshawna seethes.

DJ was bracing himself, dreading when the time would come for him to leap off the cliff. To their credit, Geoff and Duncan did their best to boost up his confidence (that he wouldn’t die, but that was unimportant). 

Heather eyed the people around her, bored out of her mind while waiting. “Nice bikini, Courtney!” She compliments said contestant, surprisingly meaning it. She had upgraded from her old grey one to a black one, and she looked like she was enjoying a day at the beach instead of Wawanakwa.

Courtney narrows her eyes, unsure if Heather was being genuine or had other intentions. “Look, I’m really not interested in making an alliance right now so early on, especially with someone as manipulative as you. We all know what you did to Lindsay and Beth from the first season, after all....”

Guilt bubbles up inside of Heather, as she had felt slightly guilty of that at the time, but with everyone keeping on bringing up her past actions ... Godcan’t you people just move on?  She questioned herself, even though she knew that Total Drama would plague the contestants’ minds forever. 

“I didn’t want an alliance, Ms. I-Was-A-CIT!” Heather mocks Courtney with the name, knowing the nickname was one she hated. 

Courtney glared. Godcan’t you people just move on?  were the words pressing against her tongue, but she bit them down.

“I just liked your bikini,” Heather mumbles, almost as an afterthought. 

“Oh,” Courtney says, averting her eyes, before bringing them back up to apoligize. “Well, I’m sorry for misjudging you —“ 

But when she turns around, Heather had left. 

Chris then clears his throat, capturing everyone’s attention, before beginning to explain how the diving and challenge would work.

“You’ll be diving from the elimination order from your very first season, Total Drama Island. Of course, we’ll be skipping the contestants who aren’t present as of now. Any questions? Well, there shouldn’t be any, but I honestly wouldn’t put it past you guys. Owen, buddy, you’re up!”

”Wait, why do I have to be first? I’m not chicken, but I don’t want to go first!” Owen complains.

Chris laughs, clearly unsympathetic. “Shoulda thought of that in the TDI finale, kiddo!” Still laughing, he snaps his fingers, not even vocally ordering interns to swiftly push Owen off the cliff.

Some of the campers gasped at this, having only been on a few seasons of the show, not aware of Chris’s sociopathic traits, but majority weren’t even that surprised or concerned. They all knew Owen would (physically) be okay, they always (somehow) were. 

Back to Owen, however. He was screaming at the top of his lungs, caught off-guard by the shove. Upon contact with the rough waters, Owen swims further to grab a black box; true to his word, Chris had locked the items in waterproof cases. Once he had successfully grasped one, he swims to shore, standing next to a cranky Chef. 

Chris grinned, satisfied with Owen’s plummet. “Alright, who wants to go next? Too bad, Gwenny is up!”

Gwen glowers at Chris with an unimpressed scowl, clearly as annoyed as ever. “ Gwen McLean. It’s not that hard, just G-W-E-N. You can pronounce that, right?”

”... Also known as the Weird Goth Girl, Boyfriend Kisser, The Loner, a heliophobe...”

”Fine, I’m jumping down, Goddamn it!” Gwen snaps, before pencil-diving down the cliff, shouting “I HATE CHRIS!”  all the way down, stretching his name as she plummets.

 


 

Heather is now in the confessional, unable to hide her usual smirk; not that she was trying to contain it. “Who do I agree more with, McLame for all of those incredible and accurate names for Weird Goth Girl, or said Weird Goth Girl for shouting ‘hate Chris!’ on her way down that cliff? We’ll never know, will we?”

 


 

Now underwater, Gwen snatches a large box, the closest one to her, but nearly sinks from its weight. What’s in here, boulders? Gwen thinks, straining to heave herself and the box to the surface, and then the shore. Time was ticking by, but Gwen wasn’t even aware....

The contestants eye the waters, unable to see the speck of Gwen’s head popping out from underwater. “Uh, Chris, shouldn’t we make sure Gwen isn’t drowning?” Trent asks, uncertainty leaking in his voice. 

“Chef? Is Gwen there? We can’t afford another lawsuit!” Chris whines into a walkie-talkie he had whipped out of no where. “Oh, she just emerged? Okay. Sending the Old Heather down.”

“Excuse me?” Heather asks, unsure whether to be annoyed, offended, confused or something else entirely. Chris laughs her question off, before winking at the cameras.

“Inside joke!” He explains, to which she rolls her eyes before diving.

Once underwater, Heather wastes no time and grabs a small, black box big enough to store a butter knife in. She swims to the shore in record time before Duncan dives in without a comment from Chris.

Duncan had also gripped onto a black box, a box as big as a piece of paper. Following his peers, he swims to the shore, where he ignores Owen and Heather but gives a peck on the cheek to Gwen.

Back on the cliff, Chris is laughing rather awkwardly before explaining, “Yeeeah, well, the thing is I don’t even remember the elimination order-“

”How could you not know the elimination order of your own show?” Courtney asks in disbelief. For once, she doesn’t even sound judgmental, just bewildered at what she was hearing.

Chris shrugs, not very apologetic. “Well, I was going to memorize the order for this challenge again, but then I remembered that oh! I don’t care! Just do one at a time for each team, this part isn’t even timed, anyway.”

Leshawna groans, as she was supposed to be next. “Why can’t we just do whatever we want? This is bullshit! We remember the order! I’m supposed to be next!”

”Too bad!” Chris snaps, his patience running thin. “You! KB!” Chris snaps his fingers to get their attention, as if addressing them in silence wasn’t attention-grabbing enough. 

“The T-Stirrers have sent two people down, the Oddballs one, but  someone  jumped down before telling anyone and we got no footage! So you’re up! Also, Intern #19 better not have drunk all of my coffee because that would be, like, the fifth time!”

 


 

“Do I care that I almost ‘messed up’ Chris’s ratings? No, that shithead has been driving me out of my mind since I signed that contract!” Duncan complains, clearly aggravated. “And honestly, if I was Intern #19, I would drink the asshole’s coffee, too!”

 


 

“Oh, that is NOT cool Intern #19!” Chris shouts off-camera, unaware the cameras are rolling. “You didn’t drink it, you did worse! You let it cool down! You’re lucky Intern #23 is severely maimed right now so they can’t do coffee duty or I’d flush you down the spare elimination device, the Toilet of Shame! You want that?”

Christ,  McLean, the cameras are rolling!” Leshawna reminds him, who rushes back on camera.

Thank you , Leshawna!” Chris says, though he’s obviously not grateful. Leshawna rolls her eyes before walking back to the other teams.

”Who’s going next?” Bridgette asks to her team, but when she looks back, DJ and Courtney look uncomfortable at the jump, Harold looks unwilling to go next and Geoff looks confused. 

Bridgette sighs and rubs her temples. “Geoff, babe? Can you jump down next?”

Without a question, Geoff is already backing up, preparing for his run-and-jump canon-ball that’s about to take place. “Sure thing, Bridge! Good luck, dudes!”

That said, Geoff leaps off the cliff, surprising the rest of the campers on the shore, because wasn’t Leshawna supposed to be next?

Gwen voices their thoughts aloud, which Heather scoffs at. “Just Chris being Chris!” Heather snorts, either unaware to Owen’s laugh or ignoring it.

The four are fairly quiet after that. 
 


 

”Look, those three are my buddies! I love them, but do they have to be so pessimistic all the time?” Owen sighs. “I hope this season I can make a friend who isn’t secretly annoyed by me like the rest of them are.... I can dream, I guess.”

 


 

Camper after camper had jumped, and there were only five campers on top of the hill now; Cody, Courtney, DJ, Lindsay and Noah. The first four varied from looking a bit intimidated to scared out of their minds, while Noah was just bored, being unable to jump since Cody’s arms were wrapped tightly around his legs, something he didn’t even notice he was doing.

”For the millionth time, Cody, get off my legs! I think they aren’t even asleep, I think they’re in a coma!” Noah says, unusually stressed. “One of us is going home if you don’t budge!” 

However, Cody still doesn’t budge. 

Lindsay was trying breathing exercises, alarmed that they didn’t seem to be working. “Wait, Chlorine, you’re like, super smart, right? How do you breathe again?”

Courtney ignores how Lindsay had confused her name for a chemical and answered her question as politely as possible, “You’re doing it right now, Lindsay.”

Oh! Thanks, um...”

”Courtney.”

”Oh, okay! I’ll try to remember that, I pinky swear! Thanks anyway, Courtney!”

”Enough friendship and bonding moments! Just JUMP!” Chris shouts from the sidelines. Lindsay shrieks, startled, and jumps off the cliff, shortly followed by her shouting “ HOW DO YOU FLY AGAIN?

Courtney turns to DJ, her game face back on. “DJ, we have to jump. Now.”

”I don’t think I can do it, man!” DJ says, his face contorted with worry. Surprisingly, Courtney pats his shoulder sympathetically before speaking (again, surprisingly) comforting words.

”Look, I know this challenge didn’t do us well the first time. I know I’m not exactly the best player on this team or in the game, and I know I need to become a better person. But you and me? We got this.”

”Wait, what?” DJ asks, surprised. Him and Courtney had barely ever spoken on or after Island, and here she was now, genuinely trying to motivate him.

”I’m serious. I’ll jump if you jump.” Courtney now has her hand out, her dark eyes almost daring him to back down. Almost.

DJ considers this only for a second before shaking her hand with a small smile. “Deal,”

”Oh, thank God, I honestly didn’t want to jump down by myself....”

DJ laughs before grinning. “On three?”

”On three.”

“Yeah, too bad, we’re jumping now!” DJ grips Courtney’s hand even tighter and they leap off the cliff together. 

The 1,000 foot drop seems to take forever to DJ and Courtney. After the giddiness of their deal, panic begins to seep in, and they’re already hugging the other for dear life around the 700 foot mark. 

”HOLY SHIT, OH MY GOD!” Courtney screams into DJ’s ear. If it weren’t for the rough winds whipping past them, DJ’s hearing would not have been the same afterwards.

MAMA!  COME TO MY FUNERAL!” DJ yells. His arms practically crush Courtney’s ribs which she ignores, only wrapping hers around tighter.

When they finally plunge in the water, making a large splash to alert everyone of their arrival, all of the contestants on the shore glance over trying to piece together what just happened.

 


 

”Since when was Courtney friends with  DJ?” Duncan asks, shocked. “And how  did one of them convince the other to jump? They were scared out of their goddamn minds over that challenge years ago!”

Duncan groans, before asking himself quietly, “Why do you even care?”

Realizing he said that aloud, Duncan’s eyes widen even further, and he runs out before he could say anything even more stupid.

 


 

“Courtney, DJ and Linds have all made it back now, which means that if Cody and Noah don’t jump soon, things aren’t going to be going well for them. At all.” Tyler explains. He sighs, before brightening up just a little.

”I am sad that one of them may be gone if they don’t jump now, but at least that makes me safe? I hope I don’t have an early elimination like before, you know?”

Tyler walks out, having nothing else to say.

 


 

Courtney and DJ had miraculously managed to survive the jump, which neither of them thought they would manage, and upon resurfacing, they grip eachother even tighter, radiant with joy.

”I can’t believe we did it!” Courtney says, beaming. Though ‘beaming’ seemed like an understatement, since it was clear they both were on Cloud 9, it still worked.

DJ smiles wider at that before pointing back to the waters. “We need to grab our boxes, I think I saw some down there.”

Nodding, Courtney plunges her nose and sinks back underwater to grab her box to officially be done with the swimming part of the challenge. Though underwater, nothing could wipe the smile on her face.

 


 

“It’s been a long time since I’ve made a friend who wants nothing but the best for me. I thought I had those friends, but they’ve shown their true colors long ago ....” Courtney hesitates, the sentence clearly re-opening old wounds before deciding to continue. “I know DJ and I have a chance of staying friends because we balance out, the key to a healthy friendship.”

Courtney laughs an airy, light laugh. “It’s nice to have a friend!”

 


 

“Cody, get off! Now! If you don’t get off me, I’ll throw you down that cliff!” Noah warns, becoming more and more annoyed by the second. Cody only gives a whimper in response, which makes Noah snap. 

”C’mon, Cody, let’s go  die  off the cliff! Oh, oops, I meant dive. My bad.” Noah mutters sarcastically as he starts inching closer to the edge of the cliff.

Noah is near the edge, and the distressed Cody doesn’t even notice. Noah grunts with every step, and just before he’s about to jump off, he pityingly looks down at Cody.

”You’ve brought this on yourself, kiddo.” Sarcasm forever seeping through his voice, he then jumps off the cliff, pulling a screaming Cody with him.

 


 

“Noah, I love you — not like that! — but was that really necessary?” Cody complains in the confessional, frustrated. “If you do that again, I swear to God I’ll never speak to you again!”


 

”Ouch, Cody, my poor heart!” Noah exclaims, clutching his heart for dramatic effect. No amount of fake sadness could wipe his cocky smirk off his face from his latest confessional.

Damn, I’m on a roll with these confessionals! Noah thinks, sarcastic even in his thoughts.

 


 

After five minutes of convincing Cody that yes, it was over, no, he wasn’t drowning, and yes, he was alive, Chris got all the contestants situated in front of him to dismiss them to the next part of the challenge.

”Alright, after an eternity of waiting, you’ve all finished the first part of the challenge, congrats! Here, have a medal.” Chris has a sickeningly sweet smile when he says the words, and an intern tosses each team a medal with the words imprinted on it;  WORST LOSER.

”Aw, touching!” Noah snaps.

”Anyway! For this next part, you and your team will be assigned to a location by yours truly, where you will open your boxes and identify which object belongs to who. You will relay your teams’ final decision to me, then Chef and I will gather you all once again to share the results and the winner of the challenge. Any questions?”

There is none, and Chris grins. 

”Great! I wasn’t gonna answer ‘em anyway, so good call. Anyway, KB, you’ll be at the kitchens where we had the ‘ If You Can’t Take the Heat... ’ episode. I’m sure you all remember that place just fine. T-Stirrers, you’re at the dock and Oddballs, you can go to your front porch at your cabins. Alright, now get out of my face!”

The campers all disperse, and once they’re gone, Chris shouts, “And someone tell Intern #19 they’re fired! Intern #23 can make my coffee just right, they can still move and all.”

 


 

The KB surrounded one of the islands in the kitchen, all of them each with black cases in front of them. 

”Well, are we going to open them?” Bridgette jokingly asks, nudging Courtney with her elbow. Courtney jokingly rolls her eyes and nods, clearing her throat.

”Let’s just get this challenge done with,” she announces, and all the teammates open up their boxes, letting a slight gasp escape their lips when they open them.

Inside of each box was the random object, but there was velvet casing and cushioning that firmly protected and surrounded the object. The inside of the lid had a seal of Chris’s face in gold (they couldn’t tell if it was real or not, but knowing the host, he wouldn’t settle for his face to be in anything but real gold), with the words  MCLEAN APPROVED curved at the top in fancy lettering, and ‘YOU’RE WELCOME’ underneath it. 

”These cost more than our meals and cabins! Forget that, this is probably more than anything we receive on this show, including that million!” Courtney complains. Her teammates nod along with her, and even the calmest of the group (i.e Bridgette, DJ and Geoff) were ticked off. 

”Oh, this is  not  cool!” Geoff says. “How did he even get this all last minute, anyway?”

Harold snorts. “Knowing Chris, he probably had extras, since I read that these are the boxes he puts gifts in, if he does give them,” 

“Typical,” Bridgette mutters. “Anyway, what do we have?”

”Izzy on a Wanted Poster,” Duncan says nonchalantly. Surprised, everyone glances at what’s in his box, which is, indeed, a wanted poster with Izzy’s insane smile on the picture.

”I.. I don’t know how I feel about that,” DJ peeps. “But I have a bunch of lip glosses.”

”I have a.. free taco coupon?” Courtney asks in confusion. “How are these cherished items? This coupon expired three years ago, for crying out loud!”

Bridgette shrugs, before reaching into her box and grabbing a trophy. “ National Canadian Beauty Queen of 2011, ” Bridgette reads out loud before gently placing the trophy on the counter. 

“These ... things,” Geoff holds up glass bottles filled with skin oils, the items clearly an expensive item. Fearing he’d break it, Harold snatches them away and closely examines them. 

”Essential oils,” Harold nods, confident with his guess. “Used to preserve or amplify beauty, or just to take care of your skin.”

”Whatever, Napoleon Dynamite.” Duncan rolls his eyes, feeling a migraine develop in his head. “What do you have?”

”A guitar,” Harold replies casually, unaware of the bewilderment of his teammates that the guitar had fit in the case. 

 


 

”How is that possible? That should not have been possible!” Courtney yells, her cheeks slightly red. “That goes against common sense, my sanity, physics, basic science.... What is this, some Canadian cartoon scripted for comedic jokes like this? Because that’s really funny, Chris and the universe that hates me!”

 


 

Bridgette blinks slowly, being the first to recover. “Yeah, anyway,” Bridgette begins. “That’s clearly Trent’s. He’s the only one to even have a guitar here,”

DJ nods along, in agreement. “The wanted poster is obviously Izzy’s, but why that’s her most prized possession I do not want to know,”

”The taco coupon is Owen’s.” Duncan states. “Fatso can’t keep his hands off of food even if you paid him,” 

“The lip gloss is my luscious Leshawna’s!” Harold exclaims, proud. “Only she can possess such a beautiful item for her soft, peachy lips —“ 

“Enough, dude!” Geoff cringes, clearly grossed out. “Those are probably Lindsay’s, they’re all glittery and stuff. They also have that Barbie logo, and only she’s naive enough to use that.”

Harold crosses his arms and glares at Geoff, but can’t seem to defy his logic, so he stays silent.

”Anyway,” Courtney says. “The essential oils, or whatever they’re called, are Alejandro’s.”

She seems satisfied with her answer, but her team stares at her not fully believed.

”Wouldn’t he want something that relates to his strength? He knows he makes the women swoon, he doesn’t need any product.” DJ points out.

”True,” Bridgette agrees. “He is incredibly narcissistic.”

Courtney grunts, as if her teammates were missing an obvious piece to a puzzle they weren’t fully aware they were solving. ”Guys, essential oils aren’t made  just for beauty! They’re also for keeping your skin healthy,” she points out. 

”Look, they were made in Spain and everything. Plus, Justin isn’t here, so who else here is so beauty obsessed that oils  are their prized possessions?”

Duncan shrugs, impressed. “Alright, princess, have it your way —“

Don’t .” Courtney snaps, her voice chillingly cold. “You don’t get to call me that," 

For his credit, Duncan looks genuinely surprised by Courtney’s outburst while she glares at him icily. The rest of their team glances back and forth between them, unsure if they should slowly back away or break the ice.

”It’s fine, Court,” DJ reasons with his friend. “Let’s just finish the challenge so we have the rest of the day to chill, okay?”

Courtney silently nods along, clearing her throat and continuing on as if nothing had happened. “The trophy is a beauty pageant one, obviously. We already have Lindsay’s item, so unless we’re wrong, the trophy can’t belong to her...” 

Her sentence is left unfinished, as her mind is too busy calculating to speak.

”How about Heather?” Bridgette asks. “She’s confident and pretty enough, and it wouldn’t surprise me if she’s been in a beauty pageant before.”

Courtney shrugs. “I can’t think of anyone else. How about you guys?”

No one speaks up.

”Good, than we’re done. I’ll tell Chris what we’ve come up with, than I’m going to take a nap,” she stalks out of the room without another glance at her team. 

 


 

The T-Stirrers sat at the dock, an array of already opened chests and their items spread out in front of them. Oddly enough, there was a journal, a spiral notebook with dark blue ink, a bright pink, fluffy and quite childish diary, a copy of war and peace, a pocketknife, and lastly, a gigantic stack of paper that none of them had the heart to leaf through.

Immediately, Gwen had grabbed the journal, her cheeks a bright red; it dawns on her teammates that that was her diary, the same one Heather had read aloud years ago (though it seemed like no time had passed since then and now).

The team sat in silence, while Heather glances at Lindsay, thinking of the words Courtney had said to her earlier in the morning.

We all know what you did to Beth and Lindsay, after all...

”Um, Lindsay, isn’t that yours?” Heather blurts out, gesturing to the diary.

Lindsay shrugs. “I haven’t had a diary since I was twelve!” She swears.

Heather sighs and snatched the diary, picks the lock and begins to leaf through it. Upon noticing the looks she was receiving (appalled, confused, disgusted, unsurprised — looks Heather thought she was used to), Heather defends herself.

”What? I used to do this all the time with my sister’s diaries!” She says.

Her team is disappointed but not really that surprised by this behavior, but lets her continue going through the pages. All of a sudden, Heather’s eyes widen, and she shifts in her seat; it was the first time in a long time she had looked uncomfortable on the show. 

“Girl, what’s got you actin’ like you have squirrels in your pants?” Leshawna asks with a raised brow.

”Yeah, Hanna, you can tell us! We won’t tell a soul!” Lindsay promises, seemingly unaware to the cameras that were recording their every move, soon to be broadcasted all around the world.

Heather clears her throat and her voice is slightly shaky in fear, which has her teammates on the edge of their seats.

I want to ride Cody like a horse until morning “ Heather starts, but cringes mid-sentence, slamming the diary shut. Her nose wrinkles, clearly disgusting, and she drops it, rubbing her hands against Alejandro’s shirt profusely (ignoring his smirk whenever she blushed as she touched his chest or abs), wanting to rub the imaginary germs off of her immediately.

The team shuddered collectively, and all agreed unanimously who it belonged to; “ Sierra.

Next, Heather picked up the spiral notebook with dark blue ink, but flips through the pages much less vigorously, clearly not eager to come across something along the lines of what she had just read.

However, she barely makes it a page in without laughing, and reads an excerpt aloud; 

Blood is red, your hair is blue. Please notice me, Gwen, I’d do anything for you!

Heather continues laughing while Lindsay looks completely and utterly confused. Alejandro, Leshawna and Trent all cringe at the horrid attempt at poetry, and not thinking much of it, Trent pats a red Gwen’s shoulder, trying to console her.

 


 

”In my defense, I know what it’s like to receive ... unsettling poetry!” Trent vents. “Does the name Kelsey from Kamloops from the TDA Aftermath ring a bell?”

 


 

”Who in their right mind would write  that  about Gwen?” Leshawna questions, still wincing from the thought of it.

”Isn’t it obvious?” Heather refutes with a flick of her long, raven hair. “Cody’s been drooling over Gwenny here since day one. Plus, these are supposed to be old things. They’re all just some Gwen inspired poetry from Island.

”Thank God!” Gwen exclaims. “I have a boyfriend!”

Heather rolls her eyes, no doubt thinking of what a hypocrite Gwen was being.

Sensing an argument, Trent changes the subject. “Anyway, we have all the journals taken care of, what else is left?”

Lindsay picks up the book, but nearly falls over from its weight. “We have this huge book called  Porn and Lease!

Her team stares blankly at her until they read the title themselves (it actually read “ War and Peace ”), but no one bothers to correct her misreading.

”A huge stack of papers and a switchblade,” Alejandro says, showcasing the switchblade and papers.

”Oh! The knife’s Duncan’s,” Gwen pipes up, grateful to be useful to her team.

”So that leaves a huge ass book and a huge ass stack of papers,” Leshawna reminds them.

“Well, the book would have to be from someone very wise, yes?” Alejandro suggests. No one argues, so he continues. “And who here reads all the time?”

Lindsay waves her arm around excitedly, sure she had gotten the answer. “Ooh! I know this! Britney Watts from my history class would read all the time! It was insane. You guys should’ve been there!”

“On the ISLAND, Lindsiot!” Heather corrects without even batting an eyelash. A tiny part of her doesn’t want to be so harsh, but she shoves that part down as soon as it surfaces.

Lindsay looks down, dismayed, before brightening up again. “Oh! It’s Noah. About yay tall, really mean, kissed Cody?”

Heather rolls her eyes but nods, and Lindsay squeals before jumping up and down, delighted to have guessed correctly. “Yes!”

”Then who are the papers for?” Trent asks. Everyone eyes the papers warily, dreading having to go through it; the stack was so tall and grand in demeanor, it would be daunting to go through.

”Well, Harold’s always braggin’ about how much awards he receives from his camps, so maybe it’s his?” Leshawna suggests half-heartedly.

No one fully believes this answer, not even Leshawna, but no one wants to argue and leaf through the papers.

”I’m too tired to argue with that, so whatever. I’m taking a nap,” Heather announces.

”Mind if I join?” Alejandro winks before being able to stop himself.

Heather groans at the pick-up line. “No way, gross!”

 


 

The Oddballs sat on the front porch of their cabins, all doing miscellaneous things. Noah is reading, which isn’t a surprise, Cody and Tyler are making small talk, Sierra is typing madly away on her phone, and Izzy and Owen were both comparing their wackiest farting and burping stories, much to the disgust of the others.

Cody and Tyler have their objects in hand, trying to decide what goes with who; they know none of their other teammates won’t want to do the challenge, so now they were sorting out the mess.

Luckily for them, everything seemed so self-explanatory. Leshawna was  in  the photo strips with her cousin, Leshaniqua, and Tyler immediately recognized his old soccer uniform.

A “ Steve’s Best Camper  award was among the bundle, and it was accurate to assume that it belonged to Harold. A family photo album and recipe book laid, bursting with fond memories, and with a peek inside, photos of DJ’s childhood came flooding out.

This left a selection of hats and a keychain with sandy beaches, along with tropical waves.

The hats were obvious; only Geoff, out of everyone, wore hats religiously. The keychain was more challenging to figure out, though.

The keychain was from Miami (according to the imprint on its side), which was odd, considering all the contestants were Canadian of some sort.

“Maybe it’s from a family member from the States? Or from a vacation?” Cody interprets.

Tyler shrugs. “Probably. Who could that be for...? Beaches ... oceans, sand ... surfing — oh, wait! Surfing!” 

Tyler brightens up and explains to Cody. “It’s Bridgette’s! She’s a surfer chick, right?”

Cody nods with a smile. “Nicely done, dude!”

Tyler smiles wider, his pride radiant. There were few moments where he felt proud of himself, so he savored the feeling.

”Do you want to go swimming at the beach? We have time to kill.” Cody offers.

”Sure, race you there!” The athlete replies, and the two run off towards the dock.

 


 

Hours have passed, and now the teams are filed in the mess hall, being served their dinner. They pick at their food (which looked like solid spaghetti with brown slop piled on top), waiting for Chris to arrive so they can hear the challenge results.

“Campers!” Chris intrudes with an irritating grin, “Time for your results! You excited?” He asks mockingly.

”No,” a bored sounding Noah replies from the back of the room, book still in hand. Chris frowns in his direction, but continues.

“Anyway, the KB received Izzy’s Wanted Poster, a guitar, essential oils, glittery lip gloss, a free taco coupon, and a beauty pageant trophy!” Chris explains. “The owners of the items are, in order: Izzy, Trent, Alejandro, Lindsay, Owen and Heather!”

As he announces the names, an intern tosses the items to the corresponding contestant.

”My lip gloss!” Lindsay happily squeals. She then proceeds to put on multiple layers of the stuff on her lips.

”Hey, be careful with that! Do you  know  how much this costs?” Heather and Alejandro exclaim at the same time. They glare at the other, silently daring the other to say the next thing.

”Cut it out!” They both snap at the same time — again. Their glares intensify, so they huff and cross their arms, determined to ignore the other.

Trent smiles and begins strumming his toy guitar. “Aww, I haven’t seen this toy guitar in ages!”

”Full points!” Chris grins. “The Oddballs received a keychain, a collection of hats, a photo album and recipe book, a ‘Steve’s Best Camper award, photo strips and an old soccer jersey!

”In order, they belong to Bridgette, Geoff, DJ, Harold, Leshawna and Tyler! Surprisingly, you got them all right. However, since only Cody and Tyler did the work, you get points docked off!”

”But that’s not fair — “ Owen begins to protest, before being cut off with Chris’s glare.

”I make the rules, not you! Should’ve thought of that before choosing to be unhelpful!” Chris snaps.

”Anyway, things aren’t looking so good for the T-Stirrers!” Chris exclaims, his smile back on his face. He stretches out the team name in a sing-song voice, which annoys them incredibly, but the team doesn’t interrupt.

“And finally! The T-Stirrers received three journals; one black, one pink and fluffy, and a spiral notebook! A copy of War and Peace, a pocketknife and a huge stack of papers!”

”In order, the objects belong to Gwen, Sierra, Cody, Noah, Duncan and Courtney.”

”You said it was Harold’s!” Heather bitches to her team. Leshawna scoffs and rolls her eyes. “I am so sorry for making teensy tiny mistake, Your Majesty!” She retorts sarcastically. Both teens glare at the other, proving their long lived feud was very well still alive.

Chris chuckles, greatly amused by the fighting. “Dram- a ! I’m loving it, keep it comin’!”

The host is either oblivious to the glares than thrown his way, or he chooses to ignore them.

As soon as Duncan receives his pocketknife, he immediately switches it open. “Oh, I’ve missed you!” He exclaims, already engraving the table with his signature skull.

It’s a pocketknife, not a gift from God !” Courtney seethes under her breath. Louder, this time, she can’t help but question (or complain, both words work) how the other team messed up.

”How did no one realize that these are all of my awards? Seriously, people, my name is literally on them!”

”Sorry, sugar, no one had the patience to go through them,” Leshawna half-heartedly apologizes, still glaring daggers at her nemesis.

“Yeah, and seriously, how is a stack of papers your prized possession?” Heather asks, unable to keep the judgement out of her voice. Maybe she was a bit salty about the conversation they had had earlier in the day, anyway.

Courtney opens her mouth to retort, but just decides not to, and leaves the room, balancing her life’s work in her arms.

Chris clears his throat before shouting in a megaphone he pulled out of nowhere, making many of the contestants wince, “The KB win! T-Stirrers, I’ll be seeing you at tonight’s campfire ceremony!” 

As some of the campers file out, they shoot Leshawna pitying looks, sure they know who will be leaving Wawanakwa for the final time....

 


 

Heather looks incredibly disappointed in the confessional, but her normal scowl is plastered on her lips.

“This first elimination will be difficult, but only because there are so many morons on this team! For once, Lindsiot and Weird Goth Girl weren’t that annoying, but Leshawna and her gross weave ruined everything for us! It’s really not a mystery who we’re voting for,” Heather says truthfully and bluntly.

Heather pauses to examine her nails, before smirking cunningly. “She’ll need a miracle to avoid elimination. Bye, Leshawna, I can’t say I’ll miss you much.”

 


 

Leshawna wastes no time in the confessional and cuts right to the chase, knowing this may very well be her last confessional.

“I know I messed up and I know I’ll be goin’ home. I’m not that disappointed, to be honest; I mean, I love me my money, but did you see that last season? I don’t wanna get rabies from some infected or toxic animal ‘round here!

“However, I am disappointed that I won’t be able to curse now on here. Apparently Chris says that it’ll bring drama and ratings, so before I go, fuck you, Heather! And Alejandro. And Chris. And Heather again.”

 


 

Gwen sighs loudly as soon as the confessional starts rolling.

“I can’t believe Leshawna of all people will be the first boot! I have to watch my back now, mostly since Leshawna was my only definite friend and ally. I may be able to get Trent and Lindsay on my side, I’m sure they hate Heather as much as I do. But no matter what, I’m not voting for Leshawna tonight. Most likely, she’s going home, but I don’t want her to think that all her friends voted her off, you know?”

Gwen sighs again and rubs her temples; it wasn’t like her to think so strategically in the game. Standing up, the goth leaves the confessional without another glance at the camera.

 


 

Six teens sat on tree stumps, waiting impatiently for their host to get started on the ceremony; they all knew who was going home, they just wanted to get it all over and done with as quick as possible.

“Welcome to the campfire ceremony!” Chris welcomes. “Been a while, hasn’t it? Anyway, if you do not receive a marshmallow, you must immediately report to the dock of shame — I’m sure you’re all very familiar with that place — and you can’t come back.”

Chris pauses for dramatic effect before grinning like the Cheshire Cat, even though they all knew the next word that would come out of his mouth.

Ever !

The campers seated before him either rolled their eyes, crossed their arms or glanced in Leshawna’s direction briefly, but Chris quickly moves on.

“The first marshmallow of the night and the season goes to...”

The group holds their breath, dreading what was coming next.

“... Trent. You’re safe, dude.”

Relief is evident on Trent’s face, and he gladly catches the marshmallow Chris tosses at him shortly after saying his name.

“Lindsay, you’re also safe!” Chris declares, tossing the blonde her marshmallow before she can comprehend what had happened. The marshmallow bounces off the area in between her eyes, but Lindsay’s hands are too late, since they end up wacking her face in a final and last second attempt to catch the treat.

“There are only three marshmallows left, but four campers,” Chris explains with a somber expression and serious tone.

“ ... Alejandro, Gwen. Congrats, you’re both safe for another night.” He tosses them both marshmallows, and all eyes turn to the bottom two; Heather and Leshawna. Pity fills their eyes.

“Heather, Leshawna. This is the final marshmallow of the night. Whoever doesn’t receive the marshmallow can say goodnight to Wawanakwa and the million — though I’m sure we all know who’s going home.” Chris laughs, ignoring Leshawna’s death glare. Chris doesn’t even seem to want to create any nail-biting tension, so he just continues on with the ceremony.

“Heather, you’re safe. Leshawna, you’re going home! And by home, I mean the Playa De Losers.”

Leshawna shrugs, getting up to leave. “Good luck y’all,” she says to her ex-teammates, but looks directly at Gwen. However, just before she’s about to board the boat, she quickly and confidently flips Heather off, much to the Asian’s anger.

As the boat zooms off, she looks at a camera next to her right in the lens, knowing she was being recorded. She sighs, and begins kicking a pebble between her sandaled feet.

“I knew it was coming, I’m just sad it came so early,” the African-Canadian admits. “I mean, I was the first boot! It’s just so ....”

Leshawna trails off, unable to will herself to continue. “I don’t blame ‘em for voting me off, though,” she mutters. “I was the only one who screwed up, and ironically, the people on that island are the people I hate the most but are also the people I’m closest to. At this point, it’s hard votin’ someone off, because we’ve become close from our mutual bond of hating this show and Chris. I just wish I had more time with my friends, you know?”

Leshawna sighs again, and brings her eyes up to meet the camera lens. “Sometimes it’s more emotionally hard to be on this show than physically,”

 


 

“So Leshawna’s G-O-N-E; gone!” Chris announces while lying down leisurely in a fold out chair on the dock. Will the T-Stirrers put their pride aside and play the game? What will become of the KB? What of the Oddballs? And can I possibly, somehow become more attractive? All this and more, next time on Total! Drama! ALL STARS!

Chris waits until he’s sure the camera is turned off before shouting, “Intern #23! Almost being mauled to death by a bear doesn’t excuse you for letting my coffee go cold!”

Chapter Text

“Last time on Total Drama All Stars,” Chris begins with his usual, plastic grin, “Our beloved campers were sent to dive off of the iconic cliff and retrieve their most valuable items, before guessing what belongs to who. Leshawna was sent packing after a slight mix-up, while the KB celebrated their very first win. However, I do think this next challenge might just be a bit more up to pace in difficulty for these morons. Who will thrive? Who will survive? And who will crumble under the pressure? Who’s boarding the Boat of Losers tonight? All of this and more tonight on Total Drama All Stars!”

Chris had been standing on the dock, as he usually did, where he gave his recap of the past episode as he did by tradition. He was, unfortunately, an hour behind schedule, as he had spent one too many more hours in the hair and makeup department, but Chris knew what he lacked in time management could easily be made up through his ratings. 

With his recap done, Chris leaves to find his trusty megaphone and helicopter keys to wake up his favorite contestants. Oh, how he knew how much fun the day would bring! 


 

Heather had just been handed the briefcase she had been owed years ago since the World Tour finale, and it’s weight nearly sent her tumbling, but the money was there! And it was finally, rightfully hers. No more loopholes, drama, or stupid Ezekiels to ruin it this time; the cool, hard cash was in her hands, and nothing was taking it away from her again. 

Well, almost nothing. 

BANG! Heather winces as she rubs the spot her forehead hit the bottom of the top bunk with, all while silently cursing Chris McLean for waking her up with his stupid helicopter and megaphone  during that dream. 

She always dreamt of getting her money, particularly when she had a drama-filled day or when she saw Chris’s face in a tabloid, or even when someone made a reference to the time she was on Total Drama in general; from the time her head got shaved to the time the rat named Ezekiel stole her money.

Heather had tried almost everything to obtain the money that was rightfully hers from the producers, but quickly learned it would be no easy task — the executives of the show held onto their money like it was the only thing they were sure were real, and it became more apparent as the days went by and the months and years stretched out that Heather would have to pry the money from McLean’s cold, dead hands. 

Just once, Heather wanted to see the end of that dream. There were always different factors to the dream — from the challenges, to her competitor, to who’s there to celebrate her win with. The only constants in her dreams were that she won and that she never stayed asleep long enough to discover what happened afterwards. 

Of course, Chris just had to ruin everything for Heather, didn’t he?

Campers, meet in the Mess Hall in fifteen minutes for breakfast! As soon as you’re done, we start today’s challenge!” Chris shouts in the megaphone. He pauses for a moment, before adding, “Don’t be late!” 

Rolling her eyes, Heather rolls out of bed, her joints cracking like fireworks. Gwen is applying lotion on her skin, while Lindsay is brushing her long, golden hair, but is having trouble with a certain knot. 

“Lindsay, do you need help?” Heather piped up without thinking. Lindsay gives her a side-ways glance, confused at Heather’s willingness to help. 

“Didn’t you, like, pull my hair out the last time you offered to brush my hair?” Lindsay questions. 

“Do you want my help or not?” Heather snaps, her usual self surfacing. Lindsay shrugs, handing the brush to Heather, and turns around for the Asian girl to brush her hair. 

Heather drags the brush through Lindsay’s golden hair at a slow and steady pace, careful not to pull too hard. She had no idea why she had offered to help Lindsay brush her hair, but at least it gave her an excuse to be late to breakfast. The more it inconvenienced Chris, the better. 

It was like everyone had absentmindedly agreed to frustrate Chris as much as possible, one last time; afterall, it was what they did best — besides bringing the drama in, of course. 


 

Bridgette and Courtney, being the only girls in the female side of the KB cabin, had taken full advantage of their space. They had six beds in their cabin, two of which were used, and the rest were for their luggage. Their vanity was occupied entirely for their makeup and personal items; Geoff’s gift all the way from Total Drama Island to Bridgette, Courtney’s PDA, and their newly reunited valuable items — Bridgette’s keychain and Courtney’s stack of awards, which she was in the process of re-organizing them.

Needless to say, they had been enjoying themselves of being the only two girls there — they always woke up early to go hiking (courtesy of Courtney trying to have Bridgette overcome her fear of the woods) or go surfing before the sun came up (obviously a suggestion from Bridgette).

However, this morning, they decided to sleep in, as they had spent the night before re-watching a bunch of rom-coms on Courtney's PDA. That said, they were not pleased with how abruptly Chris had woken them up. 

“Would it kill him to just install alarm clocks?” Courtney complained as she makes her bed. “I mean, we have my PDA, but I can’t even imagine how awful it is to wake up so early, so unannounced in the morning for the others.”

Bridgette shrugs, pulling her hair up in her normal ponytail. “We should be used to him being like this, we really should.” 

Courtney scoffs, pulling out a tube of toothpaste out of her toiletries bag. “Still doesn’t make it any less annoying,” she mutters under her breath. 

Quickly, they pull on their clothes that they had been forced to wear for the past few years whenever they were on camera — stupid McLean had thrown away all of their clothes whenever a new season came, only giving them spares of their usual clothes and allowing them to keep their underwear, bras (for the girls, of course), socks and pajamas. Courtney had gotten so sick of the same vest and green cargo pants that she threw away all of her spares at home. Bridgette, on the other hand, didn’t have a problem, since her shorts and hoodie crop top did fine with Wawanakwa’s temperature. 

The girls quickly brushed their teeth, then put on a simple layer of natural makeup, which was the only makeup Chris allowed, and ran out of their cabin, not sure whether to be excited or dread the day ahead of them. 

Well, actually, it was a no-brainer — they definitely weren’t excited for the challenge (and meal) about to come. 



“You’re late!” Chris snaps at the seven incoming girls. Bridgette, Courtney, Gwen, Heather, Izzy, Lindsay and Sierra, the remaining girls, had all entered the Mess Hall fashionably late, and were clearly unapologetic. In fact, they all looked strangely happy, since “girl talk” on the island was so rare, but the smiles immediately dissolved into scowls as soon as Chris had opened his mouth. 

“Well, unlike you, Chris, we need to retain our natural beauty!” Gwen snapped with an unimpressed glare. Her eyes widen slightly when she rethinks her words. “Wait, that wasn’t supposed to sound like a compliment, I just meant, that like, we have to look pretty for the cameras but you get no pressure to look like something and … ugh, forget it!”

Chris laughs at Gwen’s attempt to insult him. “Looks like you’re going soft, Gothy!”

“What did you just call me?” Gwen narrows her eyes, prepared to pull a Leshawna and knock Chris’s teeth out of his irritating grin. 

“Um, Chip, can we have breakfast? I’m so starving!” Lindsay whines, clutching her stomach for dramatic effect. 

“Well, then you should’ve remembered breakfast when you were too busy doing Lord-knows-what!” Chris glares. “No breakfast for the girls!”

“What? No!” Sierra cries. She drops to her knees in front of Chris and Chef before anyone can blink. “I need to update my blog followers on the CMOTD!” 

Everyone gives her a blank, incredulous stare. Sierra rolls her eyes and translates, as if she were telling the campers the alphabet. “Chef’s Meal of the Day!”

“Well, your followers can wait another day!” Chef yells from his kitchen. 

“Wait a minute, Sierra, did you just say you’re leaking Chef’s meals on the internet?” Chris asks slowly. Confused, she nods. 

Chris groans loudly and face palms. “Sierra, you can't leak anything about this season! Only you, your family members, and the people who run the show with me know we’re even filming! You even signed a contract, remember!”

Sierra glances at Courtney, the one with the most knowledge of the law out of everyone. “Is this legit?” She questions. 

Without hesitating, Courtney nods. “Yep, contestants, interns, hosts, show executives, family members, really anyone who has a connection to the show are not permitted to say anything about a thing of this season, from the challenges to the elimination order.”

Noticing the stares from her fellow castmates, Courtney rolls her eyes. “Oh, come on, does nobody but me read the fine print?”

Chris, still scowling in Sierra’s direction, mutters a “We’ll have to talk later to Sierra,” before returning his attention to the rest of the group. 

“Well, now that the girls have finally arrived, we can begin! Today’s challenge is simple. You’ll be sent on a scavenger hunt across the island to search for elimination symbols of the past to avoid elimination — clever, I know! The first team to gather all the symbols and arrive at the safe spot wins, while the last team is sent to the campfire ceremony. Any questions?”

Timidly, Cody raises his hand. “How are we supposed to find the elimination symbols?”

“I was getting to that, Cody!” Chris snaps. “Anyway, I’ll be giving you all awfully-written riddles made by Chef—”

“Please, McLean, I saw you working your ass off last night to make them!” Chef hollers from the kitchen, much to the host’s embarrassment. Chris’s cheeks become a flaming red, but he continues, nonetheless. 

“Whatever, Hatchet! I’ll be giving one teammate the riddle, and as soon as I say so, you can read it and get started. The rest of the riddles will be where the symbols are. I’ll be giving the riddles and letting the teams go in the order of your placement in the last challenge. Courtney, since you’re closest, here’s the KB clue. Sierra, this is your team’s clue, and Gwen, here’s the T-Stirrers’ clue. The KB will read their clue first and get a ten minute head start, followed by the Oddballs, who will get five minutes, and lastly the T-Stirrers will join. Understood?” 

The teams all silently nod, and split up to their respective teams. 

At the KB table, Courtney unfolds the riddle and quietly whispers the riddle;

You began your journey here, and if you aren’t careful, you’ll leave from there as well.” 

“Alright, guys, any ideas?” DJ whispers. 

“Maybe we can try the campfire ceremony,” Harold suggests. “We were assigned to our teams there in Total Drama Island, and we’re eliminated there, thus beginning and ending our Total Drama journeys.”

Duncan snorts. “Thus?” He questions, his eyes glinting with amusement. “Who the fuck says ‘thus?’”

Harold looks like he’s about to retort, but sees the withering look from Courtney, the unimpressed look from Bridgette, DJ’s disbelief and Geoff’s single facepalm silences him.

“Duncan, quit being immature! We have a challenge to win! And Harold, if you try really, really hard, just ignoring Duncan makes it seem like he doesn’t exist—” Courtney begins.

“Hey! I’m right here!” Duncan snaps. 

Courtney smiles at Harold, practically a first between the two. “See, works like a charm!” 

“Anyway,” Bridgette interrupts, regrouping. “Are we going to the campfire?” 

Geoff and DJ shrug, Harold nods confidently, while Duncan simply rolls his eyes and crosses his arms stubbornly. 

“No!” Courtney whisper-shouts. “We didn’t ‘start our journey’ at the campfire, it all began as soon as we were introduced on that dock! God, why did I ever want to sign up for this show?”

 


 

CONFESSIONAL #22 ; COURTNEY, KB

Sitting in the confessional, Courtney dusts imaginary dust off of her pants, stalling to begin her latest confessional. 

“Okay, actually, I do know why I auditioned,” Courtney confesses, beginning her rant. “I figured my time on Total Drama would just be added to the long list of my accomplishments after I had won, but of course Duncan and Harold ruined everything! I wish I never went on this show, I wouldn’t have gone so insane if I hadn’t!”

Sighing, Courtney feels tears springing her eyes, so she quickly wipes them and leaves. 

Total Drama had torn every contestant down to their worst, weakest selves, and forced them to rebuild with no experience or time. And Courtney hated them for that. With every fiber of her being. 

 



CONFESSIONAL #23 ;
HAROLD, KB

Pushing his glasses up his nose, Harold sits in the confessional, preparing to begin his confession. 

“I’m pretty sure everyone regrets auditioning,” He begins. “But we made a commitment to entertain you folks at home, so that’s what we have to do. Plus, the prize of one million bucks isn’t a bad thing, you know? But gosh, I really wish I could show off my super sweet ninja skills to Duncan from Ninja Steve’s Ninja Camp, he wouldn’t mess with me ever again!”

To showcase his skills, Harold punches his fist through the outhouse wall, which surprisingly works. His face immediately contorts in pain, and he peeps out “Mommy!” before collapsing. 

 


 

“We should go to the dock,” Courtney concludes. “You arrived there, you leave there when you get eliminated. Not that hard of an equation.”

Harold sighs, but can’t argue with her logic. “Fine,” he agrees, and the team races out of the Mess Hall, determined to make it there first.

 


 

“You guys, this is a team challenge!” Cody pleads with his team. “Don’t leave me and Tyler to do all the work again!”

“Izzy would help, but Izzy is hungry,” Izzy unapologetically replies. Owen nods along with her. 

“Yeah, Chef gave us small servings this morning! I wonder why,” Owen says sadly, glancing at his now-empty plate that had been licked clean. 

“No, it was the same size as usual, you big goof!” Noah reprimands Owen. However, Owen didn’t take offense to Noah’s remark, as he considered the other a good friend. 

Noah wasn’t paying any attention, and was digested in reading his copy of War and Peace , but Sierra shrugs and surprisingly shoves her phone in her pocket. 

“What’s the riddle?” Tyler asks.

Sierra reads aloud the same riddle Courtney had read to her team minutes ago, and the trio is silent as they think over the words.

“Well, there are two places,” Sierra begins, using her Total Drama knowledge to her advantage. “The dock and campfire. You literally enter and exit the game on the dock, but once Chris has finished his tour of Wawanakwa, the game figuratively begins, but when you don’t get your marshmallow, that’s when your game ends.”

Cody nods slowly, but Tyler just looks perplexed. “What are you saying?” 

“We can check out the campfire or the dock first. Whatever it is we’re looking for is bound to be there.” Sierra clarifies as Tyler nods along. 

 


 

CONFESSIONAL #24 ; CODY, ODDBALLS

“Wow, Sierra is acting pretty chill for once!” Cody grins. “Maybe we can be friends this time around? Like, don’t get me wrong, I liked her in World Tour, but it’s much easier to get along with someone if they don’t act insane.”

 


 

“Maybe we could do the campfire! It starts with a C, just like Cody!” Sierra happily suggests. 

Tyler shrugs but discreetly pats Cody on the back, who looks slightly disappointed at the turn of events.

As soon as Sierra turns around to alert her team of where they were going, Cody makes a noise that falls somewhere between a sigh and a groan — Sierra would always love Cody, it seemed. 



CONFESSIONAL #25 ;
CODY, ODDBALLS

“On second thought, maybe that’s going to have to wait,” Cody says with a sigh.

 


 

As soon as the Oddballs had left the Mess Hall, the T-Stirrers wasted no time and immediately read the clue. Gwen doesn’t even read the clue aloud, as everyone had read it over her shoulder. 

“Why did Chris have to make these riddles? They’re not even good!” Heather mutters under her breath. 

Ignoring her, Gwen takes leadership of the group. “Where are we going, guys?” 

“Easy, the dock.” Trent reasons. “That’s the first place we go, then we leave after we’re eliminated — if we are, that is.”

Gwen shrugs, seeing no problem with the interpretation.

“Okay, that’s all fun and good,” Heather yells after her shoulder as she begins a sprint out of the Mess Hall, “but we have a challenge to win! C’mon, the others already have a head start!”

Alejandro smirks at Heather’s departing figure and chases after her, followed by the rest of the team. They were going to redeem themselves after their last disastrous challenge, as they weren’t the most dramatic team for nothing. 

 



“Geoff, get out of the water!”

Looking up, Geoff has to squint his eyes at the figure looking down on him. It was about noon, and the sun was at its brightest, and was shining down on his teammate. However, Geoff could immediately recognize Courtney’s authoritative voice.

“How do we know that whatever we’re looking for isn’t underwater?” Geoff points out. 

Courtney sighs and rubs her temples, but still responds to Geoff’s question. 

“Geoff, with all due respect, that’s not likely. You can barely see through the waters, and where you’re at right now” — Geoff looked down at his feet — “isn’t exactly a place Chris would hide the thing.”

True enough, Geoff was treading water at about nine feet deep. The rest of his team were spread out on the sandy shore, or in Courtney’s case, reprimanding him on the dock. 

“C’mon, Court!” Geoff groans. “It’s no harm to just check!” 

Sighing, Courtney straightens herself and turns around to leave. “Sure, whatever, Geoff,” Courtney calls over her shoulder, “Just don’t try to hold your breath underwater for as long as possible and end up drowning.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it!” He chirps back in response. 

With Courtney leaving, Geoff continues his search. Deciding to dive into the waters to take a closer look at the sandy floor underwater, Geoff silently swims towards the dock, unaware of the company that had just joined them. 


 

CONFESSIONAL #26 ; GWEN, T-STIRRERS

Groaning, Gwen places her face in her hands, before moving to tuck a strand of hair beneath her ear. Slouching slightly, she begins to complain about her team’s predicament.

“Even though we figured out the riddle immediately, something neither of the other teams did, and ran really fast to the dock, the KB still beat us. Which sucks, but I really wanted that lead!” 

Looking dismayed, she continues. 

“I want to win this competition, I really do, because Leshawna was booted off over a mishap. I was in the final two in the first season, and voted off during Action because of how the whole Trent thing went down, and in World Tour my stupid allergy was my downfall.” Pausing for only a second, Gwen hesitantly adds on, “And I kind of kissed Courtney’s boyfriend behind her back, which I get was stupid to do, but I really hope I can befriend Courtney again. I miss her,” Gwen says somewhat sadly. 

“This season, I want to fix whatever I had with Courtney, win the million, and keep Duncan by my side.” Gwen smiles, hoping she looked more confident then she felt. “I can do this!”

 


 

“Courtney!” Heather greets, crouching beside the aforementioned girl, who was busy digging holes in the sand, trying to locate whatever would lead her team to victory. 

“Heather,” Courtney greets in return out of politeness. “How’s the challenge going so far?”

Heather scoffs in the What do you think? way that everyone was so accustomed to. “About as good as you, from the looks of it. I mean, at least one of my team members isn’t treading in water for the challenge!”

Surprisingly, Courtney doesn’t bite into the bait, and instead laughs with Heather at Geoff’s questionable decision. “Yeah, I tried talking some sense into him, but he wouldn’t budge — sometimes it’s just easier to let others get their way, you know?”

 



CONFESSIONAL #27 ;
HEATHER, T-STIRRERS

“Okay, look,” Heather begins to confess. “I know you might think I’m desperate for continuing to talk to Courtney, but she’s a valuable asset! We were close to forming an alliance during World Tour , but eventually Alejandro got in the way of us. With an inter-team alliance — maybe if Gwen and Courtney make up, there could be a Team Amazon exclusive alliance — we would totally run the game!”

“Like, Gwen and Cody are both very likable people on this show and off of it, Sierra has infinite Total Drama knowledge, and Courtney is, like, the third most valuable contestant, after myself and Alejandro.” Heather grins devilishly, no doubt adoring her master plan fully. “This million is mine, and nothing is getting in my way this time!”

 



Picking sand from underneath her nails, Heather mutters a complaint for the umpteenth time that day. “Stupid Chris!” She grumbles as more sediment gets stuck underneath her nails.

“Oh, I hear you!” Courtney agrees. “If I had a nickel for every time I wanted to punch Chris in the face, I wouldn’t have to be on this show ever again!”

To her own surprise, Heather genuinely laughs at Courtney’s remark. “Now that we can all agree on!” 

 


 

CONFESSIONAL #28 ; COURTNEY, KB

“Now, I can’t say I approve of Heather and her … tactics,” Courtney begins slowly, thinking of the right words for her rant. “But I do respect her. And respect plays quite a role in future alliances!”

Smirking triumphantly, Courtney continues on. “Obviously, when the merge comes, and we’re both still in the game — please, like Chris would boot us off earlier, we make this game! — then maybe we could form an alliance? I can’t say I fully trust her yet, but … options are options, I suppose.”

 


 

CONFESSIONAL #29 ; CHRIS, HOST

Laughing sinisterly, Chris rubs his hands together, like some wannabe villain, and is grinning as if he was the smartest genius on the planet. 

“What Courtney and Heather don’t even realize is that they’re trying to play each other! Even better, they’re actually getting along! Without realizing it! How wonderfully ironic, am I right?”

 


 

Geoff, now underneath the dock, shivers slightly as a strand of seaweed wraps around his ankle. Nothing, no matter what, would ever be more unsettling then feeling something curl around you when you’re all alone. Nothing. 

Well, except maybe hail just pelting you and breaking your nose, but other than that, nothing! 

Either way, Geoff was just wasting time underneath the dock, waiting for one of his teammates to find the elimination symbol, since as the time went by, it seemed as if Courtney was right. 

Looking up at the wood, Geoff studies the planks to pass time out of sheer boredom. The wood was chipping, splinters poking out, and Geoff didn’t doubt that if enough weight was put on it, the dock would come crashing down. Luckily, that was about it, as Chris swore he had cleaned up the island from the last season (though Geoff wasn’t sure if that were true). 

But then his eyes landed on the silhouette of what looked like a phone — which had to be impossible, since there was no way a phone would be taped underneath the dock like that. Curiosity taking over, Geoff reaches up towards the rectangular device and tears it off; surprisingly, the phone doesn’t malfunction from the water, and instead flashes the names and profiles of some of his fellow contestants. 

Eyes widening, it strikes Geoff on what it was; the voting device that got people eliminated in the second season! (He would know, it did get him and Bridgette eliminated first.) And that had to count as an “elimination symbol”!

Discreetly shoving it under his hat, Geoff immediately climbs aboard the dock, searching for his nearest teammate to alert them of his discovery. Spotting Duncan carving something in a tree, Geoff starts sprinting towards his friend, all the while shouting “DUDE!

However, what he failed to realize is that a member of another team was watching him closely….

 


 

CONFESSIONAL #30 ; ALEJANDRO, T-STIRRERS

A grin stretching on his lips, Alejandro can’t help but gloat at Geoff’s misfortune. 

“What Geoff doesn’t realize is that while he was inconspicuous to everyone else, I saw him take whatever it was from underneath the dock. As soon as he and his team makes a run for it, we’ll be right at their feet. After all, nothing gets by me,” Alejandro continues triumphantly.

 


 

“There’s nothing here!” Owen whines. 

It was true, as the group had been searching the campfire area for possibly twenty minutes, but with no avail. 

Sierra was searching in and around the torches for the third time, Tyler and Cody had been thoroughly searching through the seats, and even Noah was trying to find a secret compartment in the podium. Izzy was walking around aimlessly, occasionally searching through a bush or a bird’s nest. 

Sighing, Cody stands up from his crouched position. “Okay, this is clearly not working out for us! We should just ditch the campfire and head to the dock if we want to catch up!”

Tyler shrugs. “Alright, let’s go — oh, and Owen? Stop looking for stashed marshmallows!”

Owen laughs sheepishly, but immediately stops his search. “Sorry, bud!”

Without wasting another second, the team immediately turns around and races in the direction of the dock. 


 

“Okay, seriously, how are we supposed to know what we’re looking for?” Heather groans. “We’ve been nearly killed so many times on this show that I lost count!”

“Well, maybe if you were to shut up, we could actually figure this out!” Gwen snaps. 

Scowling, the two girls glare icily at one another, no doubt remembering all the things they despised about one another. 

Clearing his throat, Trent immediately tries to break their fight up. “Guys! We have a challenge to complete!” He reminds them. 

Scoffing, Heather rolls her eyes. “What-was-the-riddle-again?” She mumbles quickly. 

Smirking, Gwen can’t help but annoy Heather just a bit more. “I’m sorry, what was that?”

Read the stupid riddle!” Heather scolds in between her teeth. Still smirking, Gwen re-reads the riddle. 

Here, a ferocious beast rests, awaiting its next meal; and if you aren’t swift, your ticket to safety will vanish.

Perplexed, the team thinks in silence. You can practically feel all the gears in their heads turning, but to no avail. 

“Maybe it’s Chef!” Lindsay cluelessly guesses. “He’s always so grumpy and I’m pretty sure he’s eated one of us before!”

“It’s eaten, Lindsay,” Alejandro corrects.

“Sorry, Jalepeño, but I don’t remember who Eaten is!”

 


 

CONFESSIONAL #31 ; CHEF, HOST

“I’m just gonna pretend I didn’t hear that conversation,” Chef mutters, clearly offended. 


 

CONFESSIONAL #32 ; LINDSAY, T-STIRRERS

“Okay, I seriously don’t remember Eaten!” Lindsay swears. “Were they on another season? Oh, Chip always says I don’t get his name right, maybe that’s him!”

 


 

CONFESSIONAL #33 ; CHRIS, HOST

“Yeah, I don’t know how she’s still alive, either!” Chris laughs, wiping a tear from one of his eyes. “With that brain, you’d think she’d be buried in some graveyard by now!”

 


 

Her team stares at her blankly, unsure of what to say. Sometimes Lindsay was such an airhead, one would wonder how many of her brain cells were fully functioning. 

“Anyway…” Gwen begins, still eyeing Lindsay strangely. “It could be, like, a bear or something? Since we don’t really have good experiences with bears, they always want to eat us.”

“Well, that’s our only lead,” Alejandro points out. “So where is it?”

“Hey, Gwen, do you remember the time during the Awake-a-thon that Owen flashed us?” Trent questions the goth. With a raised eyebrow, she simply nods. 

“Trent, no offense, but how is this helpful?” Heather asks, annoyance clear in her voice. 

“I’m getting there!” Trent promises. “Then do you remember in the Playa, we watched that episode again and found out Owen had traveled to a bear’s cave?”

Starting to understand Trent’s point, Gwen gladly nods. “Yeah!”

“Maybe we could locate that bear’s cave,” Trent tells his team. 

“Alright, whatever we’re looking for isn’t going to find itself,” Alejandro says, already walking towards the forest. “Let’s move it, people!” 

 


 

“Great!” Courtney seethes. “There’s no boats here!”

The KB had thought of going to Boney Island for their riddle, as Geoff had thought of his challenge with Gwen during Island, but to the team’s disappointment, there were no boats to take them to Boney Island.

Meaning they were wrong. 

Meaning Courtney was not happy. 

“I don’t understand!” Courtney rants. “There’s loads of creatures on Boney Island that would just love to bite down on our flesh! What’s the issue here?”

“Calm down, Courtney,” Bridgette soothes. “We’ll figure it out, we always do.”

“Yeah, chill,” Duncan agrees. “It’s not like any other team has figured it out yet — no wait, nevermind, I see the T-Stirrers heading into the forest….”

Rolling her eyes, Bridgette gives Courtney a look that says one clear sentence; Ignore him.

But Courtney couldn’t just ignore him! He was repulsive, awful, a criminal, and not to mention he broke her heart! On international TV! And made a game out of it! And—

Silencing herself, Courtney takes a quick, deep breath, fighting the urge to continue her mental tangent and to slap Duncan. 

Tuning back into the conversation, Courtney tries to pretend as if she had been listening the entire time. 

“... just follow the T-Stirrers,” Duncan was saying, though Courtney had no idea what the beginning part of that sentence was. “They have a lead, we might as well follow them,”

“I don’t know….” DJ bites his lip, his morals always first. “Wouldn’t that be cheating?”

“Of course!” Duncan replies cheerily, clearly not sensing DJ’s discomfort. 

“Deej, it’s our only lead!” Geoff pleads.

Sighing, DJ relents, giving in. “Fine, but we’re doing this only once, alright?”

Agreeing to his terms, Duncan anxiously nods. “Yeah, sure, whatever, man. Now come on, we have a team to follow!”

 


 

CONFESSIONAL #34 ; NOAH, ODDBALLS

“Look, I may not be the most helpful contributor on the Oddballs,” Noah begins, “But at least I contribute somewhat! Sierra has been typing away on her phone like her life depends on it while Izzy and Owen seem to have forgotten they broke up and are going nuts!”

Rubbing his temples somewhat angrily, Noah groans at the stupidity he feels rubbing off of him. “Cody and Tyler are the only people who are keeping me sane on this team! Sure, Tyler’s clumsy and Cody’s … Cody … but hey, at least they have brain cells left!”

 


 

“Sierra, if you send one more message to whoever you’re texting, I’m going to dangle you off the cliff, I swear to God!” Noah threatens, surprisingly showing emotion that his teammates forgot he even had. “Oh, and Owen and Izzy, get down from there!”

Owen and Izzy had become so bored out of their minds that they had begun to scale around the small mountain of rock behind the campfire ceremony area. Well, Izzy was, for the most part, as Owen had just been staring admiringly up at her while still at the bottom of the base. 

Groaning, Cody can feel his patience running thin. The other teams were probably on the next clue, and he barely had his together! 

Tyler races off into the woods, distracting Cody from his mental tangent. Wait, what the fuck? Cody questions to himself, staring completely baffled at Tyler’s retreating figure. 

Tyler! We have a challenge to finish! Where are you going?” Cody shouts after the jock. 

“I’ll be back in a sec!” Tyler promises, before completely disappearing in the woods.

“Cody, if we lose this challenge, I’m literally going to lose it on somebody,” Noah mutters. “I may not be the best teammate, but those other three are ridiculous!”

“Oh, I know,” Cody agrees. “I do like Sierra, Owen and Izzy, but they’re really holding us back.”

“Well, maybe if we teamed up, we could bring them down,” Noah suggests boldly. 

Not understanding his drift, Cody shakes his head. “We’re already on the same team, Noah,”

“No, Cody, I mean an alliance. We can include Tyler since he’s actually trying. We manipulate one of the others to vote with us, and we have a guaranteed chance to send somebody home.” Noah presses on. Pausing to see Cody’s face — which does not give away any thoughts or emotion whatsoever — Noah continues in a quieter voice, “Just think about it, alright?” 

“No promises, Noah,” Cody warns.

Noah’s lips curl into a teasing smirk, mocking Cody’s statement just by smiling. “Wouldn’t expect anything more or less,”

Not even a full minute afterwards, Tyler is already dashing back, before tripping on his own feet and landing in front of Cody and Noah.

Standing up and dusting himself of invisible dirt, Tyler pants and extends his hand, where he’s gripping a vine. 

“We could use this to, uh, tie up the others,” Tyler pants out. 

Shrugging, Cody takes the vine from Tyler. “Well, we’ve tried everything else,” he reasons, “This won’t hurt.”


 

CONFESSIONAL #35 ; TYLER, ODDBALLS

“Okay, that was maybe a bit mean,” Tyler admits. “But Sierra, Owen and Izzy are really testing us here. They can’t seriously expect to be unhelpful and make it to merge, let alone win. Izzy I guess I can understand, but Owen won the first season and Sierra’s obsessed with this show! You’d think they’d know out of everyone.”

Pausing, an idea dawns on him. “Maybe they’re holding off on purpose or something? I don’t know, it doesn’t make the most sense, but maybe I could try one of those sneaky things Heather does all the time, and form an alliance? I should probably keep my options open, though, and not mess up ….”


 

Dragging Owen, Izzy and Sierra proved to be no easy task; given Owen’s weight and Izzy’s determination to slack and inconvenience her team, and Sierra not looking where she was going, however Tyler, Noah and Cody were determined to at least not be so embarrassingly late. 

When they mercifully arrived at the dock, Tyler, Noah and Cody did not waste a second. Due to their desperation and perseverance, the trio quickly finds and reads the riddle, where Owen was thankfully able to help. 

“Owen, thank God you’ve gotten off of your ass and you’re trying to be helpful,” Noah mutters. 

Owen, having not heard Noah, was already tugging Izzy and Sierra (and himself) towards the forest, wanting to begin the journey to the cave.

“Well, at least we’re actually accomplishing something now,” Tyler optimistically points out. 

Without a response, the team continues forward to the cave, desperate to make up for their own lost time. While the air was thick and humid, nothing was more unbearable than the awkward silence that filled their walk — excluding Sierra’s typing, Izzy’s random outbursts, and Noah’s reprimands, of course.

 


 

“Um, Travis, I think we’ve passed that tree a bajillion times ago!” Lindsay whines, pointing to a broad, oak tree a few meters away. 

Sighing, Gwen glances over her shoulder to look at the human Barbie. “Lindsay, we’re in a forest. All the trees look the same.”

Lindsay’s mouth gapes into a large O , only just understanding her mistake. 

“Well, it doesn’t matter,” Trent announces to the group. “I think we’re here.” 

The team stared at the cave and then at each other, unsure how to approach the cave — what if the bear was home? And what if the bear was hungry? 

Scoffing, Heather stalks towards the cave with a sneer on her face, trying to convince herself and those around her she had this. “Standing out here isn’t giving us that win,” she complains, “So let’s just get on with it, okay?”

“Be careful!” Alejandro warns. With a wave of her hand, Heather dismisses his warning. 

“I had to wrestle an alligator on this show before, I got this,” Heather says, hoping her voice was more confident than she felt.

The team waits with bated breath as Heather explores the dark cave. Moments later, Heather emerges from the bear’s cave with nothing short of an annoyed expression.

“Good news,” Heather says sarcastically, “We’re the only and first ones here! Bad news; the bear’s home. Some more bad news; Chris put a marshmallow on the bear’s head.

Alejandro sighs in defeat and Gwen groans, forever aggravated by their host. Lindsay pouts, but Trent is the only one who looks even remotely optimistic. 

“Come on, guys, like Heather said, we’ve dealt with far worse. We can do this easily, c’mon,” Trent reasons to his team in a soothing voice. 

“Todd is right!” Lindsay giggles. “Who thinks they can go in quickly and quietly?” 

Gwen sighs. “Well, I survived all of highschool by being quiet and quick to leave class, this won’t be much different, right?”


 

CONFESSIONAL #36 ; GWEN, T-STIRRERS

“Yeah, spoiler alert,” Gwen warns, rolling her eyes. “It was much more different.”

 


 

“Okay, stay out here,” Gwen instructs her team. “I’ll be right back.”

Without another word, Gwen turns on her heel and quietly rushes into the bear’s cave, careful not to wake the creature. Positioning herself near the bear, the goth takes a quick swipe at the marshmallow and runs out of the cave to her team, unaware of another watching her intently. 

“See?” Duncan whispers to his team. “I was right!”

“That’s a first,” Harold mutters. The rest of the team chuckles at his remark, while Duncan scowls. Harold flinches when he sees Duncan clench his fist. 

“Alright, we need to wait for them to leave.” DJ whispers back as his laughter dies down. 

“And they’re gone!” Courtney whispers back. 

The team dashes up to the cave and peers in, noticing the bear. 

“Great,” Courtney whines. “So who’s going in?”

“I could!” Harold volunteers. “We learned to be quick and agile on our feet at Sensei Steve’s Karate Camp, I could show you all sometime if you’d like —”

Before he can finish his sentence, Duncan steps on his foot, causing Harold to fall into the cave, shrieking. The team gasps when they see the redhead was about to trip on top of the bear.

“Duncan, you idiot!” Bridgette hisses, surprisingly beating Courtney to the lecture. “If the bear wakes up and we survive this, we’re going to take turns beating you to death!”

“Whatever, he’s perfectly fine! Don’t sweat it, Malibu,” Duncan gestures to Harold, who had composed himself and was carefully leaning over the bear to grab his team’s marshmallow. 

“Got it!” Harold’s raspy voice echoes throughout the cave. His team freezes, waiting to see if the bear had stirred in any way, but the bear continued snoring.

“Good job, Harold!” Courtney whispers. “Now let’s get out of here!”

 


 

The Oddballs had been trekking through the forest for minutes and had thankfully finally found the cave, but with only one marshmallow left on the bear’s head.

His mouth salivating, Owen races towards the bear and immediately snatches the marshmallow from the cave. Before his team could celebrate, or even process what happened, Owen pops the treat in his mouth purely out of habit.

OWEN!” The Oddballs shout. Every member of the team is glaring daggers at the boy, who chuckles nervously at the looks he’s receiving. 

“Sorry!” Owen apologizes, and looks down to avoid the glares. 

“We needed that clue!” Cody continues on. “How are we supposed to finish the challenge now?”

“Ooh! We could totally track the other teams’ footprints!” Izzy interrupts excitedly. “Once, me and my grandpa were visiting Germany, and after a run-in with the police, we —”

“Izzy, for the love of God, shut the fuck up,” Noah interrupts. “But if you think it’ll help us, go for it. It’s not like we have any other options.”

“Yes! Okay,” Izzy prattles on, already moving on her feet. “This way, buddies!”

“And don’t call us ‘buddies!’” Noah yells after the wild redhead as the rest of the team sprints to catch up. 

Sighing, Noah makes mental preparations to visit a therapist after his eventual elimination, and dashes off with the rest of his team.

 


 

“This has to be a joke,” Gwen deadpans to her team. “The other riddles were bad, but this is just pathetic.”

“Maybe it’s like, written in code?” Lindsay suggests. “Hannah, can you read it again?”

Rolling her eyes at the ditzy blonde’s mistake, Heather obliges and unfolds the clue again.

Chris is fucking firing me for giving him cold coffee, but before I leave, I’m doing the riddle! Except, oh wait, I don’t give a shit, so there is no riddle. Congrats, you’re looking for one of those peanut thingies in the place you eat your food. If you can’t figure this out, you’re dumb as hell. Au revoir, this show sucks!” 

“Chris, is this some kind of joke?” Gwen snatches the paper from Heather’s hands and storms over to the host. 

“Nope!” Chris informed Gwen, his voice higher than usual. “Intern #19 left a special note before he left, it seems!” 

“Ugh, whatever!” Heather snaps. “Let’s just head to the Mess Hall! I don’t want to be last again.

 


 

However, when the T-Stirrers had arrived at the Mess Hall, the KB had already arrived seconds earlier and were leafing through their peanut bag, pulling out stale peanuts and then finally, a piece of paper. 

“I can’t believe they made it at the same time as us,” Courtney mutters, giving a side-glance to the T-Stirrers at the other side of the Mess Hall.

“It’s fine, we have the peanut bag,” Bridgette reassures, holding the bag up. “Let’s just head to the next place, okay?”

“What even is the riddle?” DJ questions the brunette. 

“Another garbage one. ‘To get the item of immunity from action, you must head to where all the eliminations begin.’ I don’t even think that’s grammatically correct —” 

“It doesn’t matter,” Harold interrupts. “We need to go to the campfire pit now if we want an edge over the Gophers — I mean, T-Stirrers.”

“Let’s go, dudes!” Geoff cheers as the team races out of the Mess Hall at high speeds. The T-Stirrers must have just reached the same conclusion as the previous team, and were right at the KB’s toes. 

Just as the T-Stirrers head out, the Oddballs rush in the Mess Hall and see only one peanut bag. While they are slightly surprised (and concerned) by Izzy’s tracking ability, they know they had to turn around immediately and pray they wouldn’t be in last place. 

“Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me!” Noah groans as he turns around and dashes after the other two teams. 

“Relax, buddy!” Owen soothes his friend, while jogging to catch up. “We can still catch up!”

“We better,” Noah threatens dryly. “Because one of us will have to go home, then.” Giving a pointed glare to Owen, Noah speeds ahead, leaving Owen behind, intimidated by his friend’s threat.

 


 

CONFESSIONAL #37 ; OWEN, ODDBALLS

“Listen, I know Noah is my buddy!” Owen defensively states. “I know that. He’s pretty cool outside of the show, but inside, he wouldn’t hesitate to kick a friend off if it meant giving him an advantage to win.”

Gulping, Owen tugs at the collar of his shirt, feeling much more paranoid and hotter than he was seconds ago. “I hope we don't lose today, because if we do, I’m totally screwed.”

Now chuckling awkwardly and nervously, Owen sighs afterwards. “I know I won the first season, but being on Total Drama kinda sucks. Wish I could’ve told my 16 year old self that, but I’m sure we all wish that. Well, us in the show, not you the viewers, because, well, you know —”

 


 

“It’s got to be here somewhere,” Alejandro mutters to himself, digging his fingers through the blades of grass at the campfire pit. 

All three teams, the KB, Oddballs and T-Stirrers, were at the campfire, thoroughly searching through the campfire ceremony area. The Oddballs were much less vigorous in their search, having been confident they had already searched through every nook and cranny of the area thrice, but were unsure how the Gilded Chris McLean reward from Action could possibly be hidden there.

On the KB, Bridgette was looking through the surrounding shrubbery with Geoff and Harold, Duncan was touching around the stone mountain behind them, trying to find a secret compartment, while DJ was comforting an on-the-brink-of-going-insane Courtney, who was pacing back and forth, trying to see if there was a hidden message in the riddle or a place at the area they hadn’t searched.

To get the item of immunity from action, you must head to where all the eliminations begin … So Chris, or whatever intern he forced to write this, means the campfire ceremony, it’s the only option - but, where are we missing at the campfire ceremony…?” Courtney mutters to herself, as she paces back and forth for the umpteenth time. 

“Well, it is Chris we’re talking about,” DJ says, trying to comfort his friend, but he knows when Courtney’s in game mode, she’s probably not fully listening to him, but he continues anyway. “So chances are, it’s not even here at the campfire cere—”

All of a sudden, Courtney lets out such a quiet gasp, that DJ isn’t sure if she actually gasped or if he was imagining things. “The campfire,” she mutters more to herself than to the BFG, and dashes to the campfire in a blink of an eye. 

Immediately going through the ashes, embers and sticks in the campfire, Courtney uncovers the once Gilded Chris McLean statue — which would be more accurately renamed to the Ashy Chris McLean statue — and smiles smally to herself. 

Brushing the ashes off of herself, Courtney quickly recovers the campfire and smiles to herself when she spots that no one has spotted her. Quickly and quietly, she alerts her team of her discovery, and they nearly slip away undetected, until Heather looks up from her spot. 

“Hey, where are CIT, Surfer Girl, Juvie, Baby Giant, Single Braincell, and Nerdling going?” Heather shouts out to the two remaining teams. 

Heather was going through the seats, trying to discover if they had been hollowed, with Gwen and Lindsay thoroughly searching with her. Trent was searching through the shrubbery and bushes, much like Bridgette, Geoff and Harold had, while Alejandro was still sifting through the blades of grass. 

The Oddballs look up from their various places as well; majority weren’t even searching and were just milling around. 

Sighing, Cody brushes himself off and stands up from his crouched position, and groans. “One of them must’ve found the statue and discreetly told their team to hightail it out of here. That’s just great.”

“I don’t get it,” Sierra solemnly sighs. “We alone have searched this place three times. Where could they have found it?”

“Maybe you should be searching instead of talking to us,” Heather snaps, annoyed the other team was still speaking to them. “Don’t you think that would help you find the McLean statue faster?”

“Ah, Heather,” Noah deadpans. “As sunshine-y and lovable as always,”

Scowling, Heather bites down on her tongue to keep from making some not-so nice remarks about the bookworm.

“Lindsiot, Weird Goth Girl,”  Heather addresses the two girls next to her in a whisper. Despite the rude names, both girls look up at the Queen Bee. 

“We need to figure out who and where the KB found the statue,” Heather hisses. “It was obviously not Duncan, how could someone think there was a secret door or something on the smooth side of a mountain?”

Rolling her eyes, Gwen scoffs at Heather’s remark. “Heather, it was your idea to see if these stumps were hollowed out.”

Heather huffs, her cheeks blushing a slight red. “Whatever,”

“So if Dickson wasn’t the person, it couldn’t have been TJ either, since he was with Corrine the entire time.” Lindsay summarizes. 

Gwen looks at the blonde beauty in disbelief. “Is there anyone’s name you can remember?” The goth blurts out before she can stop herself. 

“Well, there was Tyler, but we broke up, so….” Lindsay trails off sadly, looking up at the brunette jock, before looking back down again.

Gwen lets the subject drop, already feeling bad for bringing it up, and ignores Heather’s glare as they continue silently searching. 

Great, you fucked up yet again, Gwen narrates to herself, rolling her eyes. 

 


 

CONFESSIONAL #38 ; HEATHER, T-STIRRERS

“Listen, me and Lindsay may have a … rocky past, but even I’m not heartless enough to accidentally bring up an ex,” Heather says, applying blush to her cheeks with a compact. “I personally don’t know how their breakup went down since I’m not on speaking terms with them, but it was all over the tabloids. They can’t even look at each other without wanting to cry. I mean, they’re so obvious, look at them!”

“And as for Weird Goth Girl? She shouldn’t be the one to judge relationships, seeing as hers have been the weirdest. Like, what was even up with Trent and the number 9? It was so weird, I’m pretty sure it was scripted or something. And don’t even get me started on the whole ‘Love Triangle’ thing last season. That was just low.” Grinning wickedly, Heather slams her compact shut, and looks directly at the camera. “I may be petty and hold a grudge, but Gwen is as good as gone. If I have my way — and oh, believe me, I will — Gothie is going to be joining Loser-shawna and her gross weave before merge hits. And the best thing is, she’ll never see it coming!”

 


 

CONFESSIONAL #39 ; LINDSAY, T-STIRRERS

“Me and Tyler broke up because our parents didn’t approve of us, and it was so sad because Tyler is the best! I do hope we can be on good terms, though, but only later, because right now it kinda hurts talking about him!” Lindsay confesses, her fingers running through a lock of her straight, pristine golden hair. Her eyes tear up just a bit at that last part, but she quickly brushes over it. “I do hope Gemma isn’t too sad about bringing the breakup up, since it was going to come up eventually, you know?”


 

CONFESSIONAL #40 ; GWEN, T-STIRRERS

“Yeah, so bringing up Lindsay’s breakup from earlier this summer,” Gwen remarks dryly, swinging her leg a bit. “Admittedly not my greatest moment.”

 


 

“Alright,” Gwen says awkwardly, trying to smooth things over. “So it’s not Duncan or DJ, who else could it be?”

“It couldn’t be the Blonde one, Dorkwad, or Blonde one 2.0,” Heather ponders aloud. “Because while they could have stealthily alerted the others, Trent has been searching there as well and has found zip,” Gesturing to the musician, the other two girls could see that he had relentlessly been leafing through the bushes, but with no luck.

“So it was Courtney?” Gwen asks.

“That damn smartass,” Heather curses under her breath. “But where did she find it? All I saw was her pacing, and then she was gone.”

“I think I saw Corrine brushing this black stuff off her hands,” Lindsay recalls, tilting her head back slightly to remember the event. “And then she went to talk to TJ, then Bulimia, who then talked to Jerry and Harvard, and then lastly Dickson, and then the PB&J left.” 

The girls had to take a moment to process (and translate) what they had just heard, but had to stop themselves from questioning how Lindsay had gotten Bulimia and Harvard from Bridgette and Harold — they had a challenge, afterall. 

“So, what you’re saying is,” Heather begins slowly, “Courtney got the Gilded Chris from the campfire?”

Lindsay pauses for a moment to think over the girl’s words before happily nodding. “Yep!”

“Alright,” Heather says with a smirk. “Gwen, go grab the Gilded Chris,”

“Why me?” Gwen asks with a raised eyebrow. 

“Because now whenever I get up and walk somewhere alone, people think I’m scheming and keep an eye on me —”

“And for good reason,” Gwen mutters under her breath with a roll of her eyes, which Heather chooses to ignore after glaring at the goth. 

“— and I can’t say I trust Lindsay not to be a total ditz and ruin everything. No offense, Linds.”

“None taken!” Lindsay chirps, back to her happy self, twirling a braid from the back of her head in front of her eyes, making her temporarily cross-eyed. 

Sighing, Gwen gets up and brushes herself off before walking towards the campfire as casually as she can — except, when you're trying to be discreet and need to act natural, everything you do becomes unnatural, though Gwen tries to ignore this fact. 


 

“Alright, we have the lead!” Bridgette grins as the KB walks further and further away from the campfire pit. 

“Great, but we should probably read the next riddle right now so we can keep it,” Courtney advises her team. 

With a shrug, Bridgette gestures her hand out, silently inviting her to take the floor. “Be my guest,” She says with a joking smile. 

“Chris should really just hire a poet for these riddles,” Courtney complains, giving a glance at the riddle before reading it aloud. “I mean, they’re so horrid and ghastly,”

“Anyway,” Courtney brings herself back on topic before anyone else would remind her, “Here it is: Just as a passport marks the beginning of your journey, this location marks the end of it. Make your way to the place you go when all is lost to receive your final riddle, and hurry, because the clock is ticking.

“Alright, to the dock we go!” Harold announces, and is about to turn around when Duncan grabs the collar of his shirt. 

“Not so fast, Dorkwad!” Duncan threatens. “Who said we’re going to the dock?”

“Where else are we supposed to go, Duncan?” Courtney asks, exasperated. “When we are eliminated, we go to the Playa. Chris or the interns or whoever probably put boats there since the last time we were there!”

“I can't wait to see my fair beauty, Leshawna!” Harold rambles excitedly. “It already feels like it's been ages since I've last seen her!”

“To the dock we go, dudes!” Geoff cheers, already moving towards the dock. “We totally have this in the bag!”

 


 

CONFESSIONAL #41 ; GEOFF, KB

“Hopefully I didn't jinx us,” Geoff adds, tapping his chin, almost as an afterthought. “That would totally suck ass, bro.” 

 


 

UGH!” Courtney rages, as the red motorboat they had been assigned to sputtered for what had to be the thirtieth time in the three minutes they had it — that had to be some kind of record, right? “Why is this stupid boat turning off and on over and over again? Would it really kill Chris to make sure everything works for once?” 

“Chill, Princess, the other teams aren't even here yet,” Duncan soothes the girl. Before Courtney could berate him for the use of the name she hated, a shout of glee from behind them stops her. 

HA! Losers!” Heather shouted of joy as her team's boat sped off flawlessly. “Have fun kissing my a—!” However, the rest of her sentence is drowned out when she and her team speeds away, though it was pretty obvious what the rest of that sentence was. 


 

CONFESSIONAL #42 ; GEOFF, KB

“Okay, so in hindsight, I definitely jinxed my team,” Geoff says with a guilty sigh.

 


 

“Look, there they are!” Noah shouts at his teammates. “If we go really fast, we might be able to follow one of them and get second place!” 

Just as the team is about to board their green motorboat, they stop in their tracks when they hear a thundering bark behind them, making the team halt immediately. 

NOW JUST WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE GOING?” Chef roars from behind them, his eyes narrowed and practically blazing with either rage or annoyance — with Chef, either was possible. “You all have yourselves a five minute penalty for not having two of the required items needed!” 

“But we'll never catch up!” Sierra complains.

Chef barks a cruel, merciless laugh. “Shoulda thought of that before slackin', girlie!”

With a groan, the team reluctantly sits on the dock to wait out their penalty in an awkward silence, no doubt silently counting down the seconds until they would be allowed to leave again.

 


 

CONFESSIONAL #43 ;  NOAH, ODDBALLS

“At this point, I think that it's fairly obvious one of us is going home tonight.” Noah states. “That obviously sucks, but at least we can get rid of one of the psychos on this team!” 



“Okay, I think when we press the key in really hard while riding it'll run,” Courtney addresses the team. “DJ, hold the key in place as we go, hopefully we won't stop as much if you do.” 

DJ takes his place at the front of the boat and sticks the key in the keyhole, and the boat's engine revs to life. Slowly but surely, the KB made their way across the lake to the Playa De Losers, though the T-Stirrers were miles ahead of them.

While the KB had just begun going, the T-Stirrers had just ported their boat at the dock of the Playa, and were dashing to the entrance of the large estate.

“We should split up,” Trent suggests to his team. “That way we cover more ground quickly. If one of us finds her and gets the riddle, just whistle really loudly and everyone reports back to the dock, got it?” 

Nodding, the T-Stirrers begin to turn separate directions to split up, but Heather grips Lindsay's wrist before she can disappear. “Lindsay, come with me so you don’t get lost.” 

“Okay, Hannah!” Lindsay agrees, and the two walk off to the back doors, towards the pool. 

Gwen turns around and heads towards the large buffet area, while Alejandro and Trent wander around the halls, stopping around the gym, arcade, media area, and even the bedrooms in the hallway. 

 


 

CONFESSIONAL #44 ; HEATHER, T-STIRRERS

“Leshawna’s obviously going to be at the pool,” Heather says with a scoff. “She’s all alone and can do whatever she wants, and everyone hung out at the pool in the first season. Even when we stayed at this luxurious hotel after Action we all went to the pool; and apparently the pool was a hotspot at the hotel after World Tour. I wouldn’t know, since I obviously won.”

“Plus, I plan on taking advantage of my weirdo team as long as I can. Lindsay will go along with whatever as long as I apologize, which will get Courtney off of my back and hopefully on my side later on in the game, and Alejandro might be a good ally, I haven’t decided if I want to make things official with him. And there’s no way Gwen wouldn’t side with me unless there was some type of leverage — but Trent is fully useless to me. An easy boot.”

“But now I’ll have to do the hardest thing in my life for the first time ever,” Heather shudders, rolling her eyes. “Apologizing, not to mention apologizing to Lindsay of all people!”


 

“Hey, Linds?” Heather questions the blonde, who looks at her curiously.

“Yeah?” 

“I just want to say that I’m sorry about everything in the first season, because you’re one of the prettiest and smartest girls I know. If you’d like, I’d be interested in forming an actual alliance with you again.” 

“Aw, Hannah!” Lindsay cooes, stopping in her tracks to hug the mean girl. “That was SO nice of you! You don’t have to apologize, of course I’ll be your BFF again!”

 


 

CONFESSIONAL #45 ; LINDSAY, T-STIRRERS

“Okay, that was so sweet of Hannah!” Lindsay confesses. “I’ve missed how she was before she was, like, super mean, but now she’s back! This season is gonna be so fun!”

 



CONFESSIONAL #46 ;
HEATHER, T-STIRRERS

“That was admittedly the worst thing I’ve ever had to do,” Heather admits. “How do people apologize like that so easily all the time? It’s so pathetic.” 

Letting a small smile slide, Heather continues on. “But it is nice to be on Lindsay’s good side again, I’ll admit — but I can’t wait to see Martha Dumptruck’s — sorry, I meant Beth, but same difference, really — face when she sees that Lindsay and I made up! It’ll be golden.” 



“Alright, Linds, we need to find Leshawna so we can win this challenge!” Heather addresses the human Barbie. 

“And give each other super cute medi-pedis afterwards!” Lindsay squeals.

“Uh, yeah, that too.” Heather adds on. “Leshawna? Where are you?”

“Look who’s needin’ me now!” Leshawna laughs, and both girls' heads whip in the direction of the other’s voice.

Leshawna was relaxing on a lounge chair and being fanned with a large leaf by an intern, all while sipping a smoothie with an umbrella on top. In her lap was a trashy tabloid and a radio quietly playing some of her favorite songs; overall, she didn’t look too sad or disappointed to be a first boot. 

“Congrats, girls, have your passport.” Their sassy ex-teammate tosses them each a passport before pulling out a flashcard, no doubt from Chris. In a monotonous voice, Leshawna reads aloud the message on the card. “Congratulations, you’ve collected all the symbols of immunity and elimination. Now, you must reach the safe spot, located at the cabins — no way am I reading that stupid riddle!”

“Thanks, Lilianna!” Lindsay squeals before grabbing Heather’s hand. “Sorry, we have to go now! Have fun being all alone!”

“Um, thanks, girl?” Leshawna meant to thank her, but it came out more of a confused question. 

Just then, Heather lets out a loud, long whistle, and the two girls immediately rush off to the Playa’s dock.

Leshawna just shakes her head and lays back down, putting sunglasses over her eyes, and lets out a content sigh. 

 


 

“Finally, we’re here!” Courtney stretches out of the team’s motorboat, followed by the others. “I say we head to the pool, since that’s the only place we hang out at when the cameras are around.”

“Let’s move, then!” Bridgette tells the team, dashing to the front entrance of the Playa. “There is no way we’re losing to the Oddballs!”

Rushing to the back of the building with no hesitation, the team makes it to the poolside in no time, finding a very relaxed Leshawna lounging on the side of the pool. 

Taking her sunglasses off, Leshawna sits up and groans when she sees she has visitors. “Oh, come on, one of y’all was just here! Whatever, have your passport.” She tosses the passport to Duncan, who catches it with ease. 

“Anyway, I have to read this thing to y’all, and I’m only reading it once,” Leshawna warns. Almost like an afterthought, she adds on; “These riddles are a major waste of time, if you ask me,” 

The team nods in agreement. “My dear Leshawna, may you please read us the next riddle?” Harold asks. His team rolls their eyes at the ridiculous nickname, but stays silent.

Congratulations, you’ve collected all the symbols of immunity and elimination. Now, you must reach the safe spot, located at the cabins — that’s right, no pathetic riddle, they’re a waste of time either way.” Leshawna reads from the flashcard gripped in her hand. 

“Great, thanks Leshawna!” Courtney thanks the girl who responds with a sassy “Mhmm, anytime, girl,” and quickly ushers her team to the front of the building to ride back to Wawanakwa. 

“Bye, darling!” Harold calls out to his crush, even blowing a kiss to Leshawna. She just smiles and waves in return, before Geoff yanks him away.


 

“Oddballs, your penalty ends now! But if I were you, I wouldn’t even bother, since the T-Stirrers are literally feet away from us, and the KB have just left the Playa!” Chris announces. 

“Well, that’s fan-fucking-tastic.” Noah says with a roll of his eyes. 

“And here come the T-Stirrers now!”

Lindsay and Heather jump off the boat and race to the cabins together, with Alejandro, Gwen and Trent right behind them. Sure enough, the team makes it to the cabins first, and gladly secures their win. 

“Looks like the T-Stirrers have secured their win! But the KB are right behind them, and it looks like their boat has magically begun working! Ironic, am I right?” 

Without even acknowledging the host, the KB hop off of their boat and dash towards the cabins, unsurprised that the T-Stirrers beat them but glad to be there before the Oddballs. 

“Alright, that means the challenge is over!” Chris announces with a smug grin. “Congrats, T-Stirrers, you’ll get the advantage next challenge. KB, you’re safe. Oddballs, I’ll be seeing your sorry butts at elimination!”

“Oh, and Chris?” Courtney storms over to the host, who is wearing the same shit-eating grin he usually owns. “Would it really be so much to ask that you just do your job and make sure things that could kill us, say, boats, from the top of my head, are stable and actually work?

“Ah, Courtney,” Chris chuckles. “I would’ve thought you out of all people would know me by now! You are the one, afterall, who sent a health inspector to Wawanakwa and totally ruined the chance of me having an All Star season with toxic waste,” Chris mumbles the last part, but continues on in a louder voice, “I just don’t care! You all being in danger makes us the hottest reality TV show, and it’s your fault for signing up for this show, anyway.”

Our fault?” Courtney asks, appalled. “How in the world is this our fau —”

“Yeah, you’ve talked for long enough,” Chris says, bored, and shoves an unprepared Courtney into her team, nearly toppling Duncan and Harold in a domino-effect. “Anyway, the moral of the story is that I’ll be seeing the Oddballs at the campfire! And Sierra, we have to have a chat about you breaking your contract afterwards — if you aren’t eliminated, of course.” 


 

CONFESSIONAL #47 ; OWEN, ODDBALLS

“Yeah, so I’m pretty much screwed,” Owen says with an awkward chuckle, tapping two of his fingers together. 

 


 

CONFESSIONAL #48 ; SIERRA, ODDBALLS

“Hopefully Chris goes easy on me,” Sierra says, tapping her chin. “Or I’d so unstan him, like, a lot.”

 


 

“Cody, Tyler, thank you for meeting me,” Noah says as the two guys sit next to him on the dock. The challenge had ended two hours ago, and all the campers were doing their own activities before the dreaded campfire ceremony in a few hours.

“What’s this about, Noah?” Tyler questions.

“Cody knows,” Noah responds with a smirk. 

“He’s trying to form an alliance with us,” Cody explains to the jock.

“Why us?” Tyler asks, frowning, thinking the deal was too good to be true. 

“Because while I get along somewhat with Izzy and friends with Owen, they aren’t contributing whatsoever. Plus, the thought of meeting up repeatedly with Sierra and her craziness before voting makes my head hurt just thinking of it.” Noah explains. “Plus, you two actually help in challenges and don’t test my sanity all the time.” 

Seeming satisfied with his answer, Tyler nods. “So if Tyler and I agree, who do you think we should vote for?” Cody questions. 

“Easy,” Noah said, pleased where the conversation was going. “Izzy. Sierra is tamable and when she wants to, she’s helpful, and with Izzy gone, Owen won’t be as distracted and will help us in challenges.”

Thinking his words over, both Cody and Tyler silently nod.

“You don’t have to let me know what you think now,” Noah says, standing up. As he walks back to their cabin, he calls over his shoulder; “I’ll know your decision by how the vote goes tonight.”

 


 

CONFESSIONAL #49 ; CODY, ODDBALLS

“An alliance with Noah and Tyler is a very promising option,” Cody begins, deep in thought. “It's the majority of our team after tonight, and as soon as the merge hits, we might be able to make it far. But at the same time, Tyler is a bit … clumsy, and might jeopardize himself, while Noah is  a whole wild card. I have no idea what’s going on in his head. I have some things to think about, don’t I?”

 



CONFESSIONAL #50 ;
TYLER, ODDBALLS

“Noah brought up a really good deal,” Tyler says, smiling a bit. “I’ve never been in an alliance before, and both him and Cody are pretty smart, so I think I might go with him. We can all go pretty far!”

 


 

CONFESSIONAL #51 ; NOAH, ODDBALLS

“I think I made a pretty good case,” Noah smirks, proud of himself. “I was thinking of giving Owen the boot, but I can’t. It’d feel wrong to vote for a friend after one mistake. Plus, Izzy is nuts. With her gone, a lot of our team’s issues will solve themself — if only we could vote off Chris, though.”

 



“I was crazy to think it would work,” Courtney confesses to Bridgette, rubbing her natural makeup off with a makeup removal wipe. “It’s funny, I would’ve actually died for him at one point, and look where that got me.”

Bridgette, who’s back was to Courtney as she was brushing her thick, blonde hair, sets down her hair brush and swivels her chair around to Courtney, who was in the bathroom with the door shut. “Courtney, have you ever considered just … blanking Duncan? It’ll drive him insane if he sees you’re content without him,” 

“Yeah, Bridge, except I’m not! I’m an insane, insufferable bitch!” 

“Courtney, stop being a downer! You’re my best friend, and believe me when I say you aren’t a bitch!” 

“Yeah, well tell that to that infuriating Totally Dramatic gossip blog who labeled me as the second bitchiest ‘HBIC’ under Heather!”

Sighing, Bridgette gets up from her seat at the vanity and bursts in the bathroom door, spotting Courtney zipping her makeup bag shut. Enveloping her friend in a hug, Bridgette whispers in Courtney’s ear while rubbing her back in slow circles.

“Court, if you continue living in your past, you’re going to drive yourself insane. You need to just let it go, move on, and forgive yourself.”

“Thanks, Bridge.” Courtney says, hugging her friend back. “I just want the world to see I’m competitive, not a monster.” 

“Well, the KB knows that,” Bridgette says with a smile. “Even Harold and Duncan. We get it. We really do.”

“You’re the best, Bridgette, thank you. You’re the best. I love you.” Courtney adds that part quietly, afraid of those three words more than she should be. 

Smiling even wider, Bridgette hugs her friend tighter. “I love you too.”

 


 

CONFESSIONAL #52 ; BRIDGETTE, KB

“A lot of people assume what Courtney is like based on what TV deceits, which is really sad, since she really is the best friend I’ve ever had,” Bridgette says with a shrug. “I know she can move on from her past actions and redeem herself, I know she can. But she needs to stop putting so much pressure on herself to perfect, you know? Courtney needs to let that shit go for her own good.”

 


 

CONFESSIONAL #53 ; COURTNEY, KB

“Thank God for Bridgette,” Courtney says, no hint of her upset self from minutes beforehand. “She has infinite patience with me. She’s literally the best. Bridge is one of the few friends I’ve had in my entire life that’s stuck around and believes me and accepts me for who I am. Everyone in the world deserves a friend like Bridgette, no matter what.”

 


 

“Welcome, campers, to your team’s very first campfire ceremony of the season! I’ll make this quick since me and Sierra need to have a little chat afterwards. Anyway, if I call your name, you may come up here and receive your marshmallow. If I do not call your name, you must walk down the Dock of Shame, board the Boat of Losers, and get the heck outta here! Kapeesh?”

The Oddballs nod silently, ready to get the night’s activities over and done with. 

“Cody, Tyler. Congrats dudes, you’re both safe.”

Both brunettes gladly get up and receive their marshmallows, before facing the rest of their team to learn of their fate. 

“... Noah, dude, you’re safe. Come up and get your marshmallow.”

Unsurprised, the sarcastic bookworm stands up to get his marshmallow before joining his other two teammates. 

“... Sierra. You’re safe as well.”

The uber superfan gladly stood up to receive her marshmallow, squealing and pulling out her phone to take a picture. She does various poses with the marshmallow; one kissing it, the other holding it up to her cheek and tilting her head, another grinning like a starstruck idiot, and everything in between. The group stops the ceremony for a moment to just gawk at Sierra.

 


 

CONFESSIONAL #54 ; SIERRA, ODDBALLS

“What?” Sierra asks defensively. “In my hands was a TD Marshmallow, a fluffy, yummy piece of safety! How could I not take a selfie with it? My blogger BFFs will be so jel!”

 


 

“Continuing on,” Chris says, pulling his eyes away from Sierra, but still giving her a side glance of confusion. “We have our bottom two; Owen and Izzy. Owen, you got distracted multiple times and ended up eating the marshmallow your team needed. Izzy, you’re insane and distract Owen countless times. Three of your campers have voted for …”

Owen waits with bated breath while Izzy sits, disinterested in the ceremony around her, despite her place in the game being at risk.

“... Izzy. Owen, you’re safe.”

Owen lets out a loud cheer and gives a bone-crushing hug to Chris, before popping his marshmallow in his mouth. Awkwardly approaching Noah, Owen taps two of his fingers together, his nervous tick. 

“Did you vote for me?” Owen asks his scrawny friend.

Sighing, Noah quietly shakes his head an honest ‘No’ , which was all Owen needed. Crushing his friend in a suffocating hug, all Owen can say without being emotional is “Thank you.”

Breaking apart from his hug with Noah, Owen nervously approaches his newly eliminated ex-girlfriend. “Hey, Izzy, I know this might be the wrong time, but I really do miss you. When everything’s over, do you think we could go to the Burger Barn like we used to do?”

Izzy smiles and hugs Owen tightly — which isn’t an easy task with his weight, mind you — and nods. “Sure, Big O, but only after you win!”

Turning to the rest of her ex-teammates, Izzy grins crazily at them. “You all better watch out, because Izzy’s boyfriend, Owen, is so going to crush you all!” Laughing, the redhead races off towards her ride to the Playa, leaving her old team slightly baffled. 

“You know, the more I think I know her, the more it looks like we don’t, you know?” Chris ponders aloud to the contestants around him. 

The team nods in agreement, and are about to head back to their cabins, when Chris interrupts them yet again. “Sierra, you’re following me. It’s time we’ve talked.”

 


 

“Sit down,” Chris calls to Sierra as they enter his large cabin; a very luxurious, large house that was much more eccentric compared to the campers’ measly cabins.

Obeying his instructions, Sierra awkwardly sits down on one of Chris’s couches, dreading what was sure to be a long lecture that would end with Chris threatening to sue — she would know, she had to listen to that lecture after she got caught stalking Heather one day.

“Sierra, your contract stated that you weren’t allowed to leak any information about this season whatsoever. However, you clearly broke that rule, which is why we’re here right now!” Chris says, pacing back and forth in front of Sierra.

“Luckily, since we’ve been filming this season for only a few days, not too much information is leaked, but we’ve deleted your blog for now and we’re confiscating your phone. Chef is flying out tonight to hunt down your blog friends that you’ve been messaging to keep their lips zipped. If you break another rule, we’re going to have to take you to court, alright?”

Sierra nodded timidly, and stood to return to her cabin, but Chris held up a hand to stop her. “You’re not done here, Sierra.”

“Wait, what?”

“See, you broke a rule. A warning isn’t enough. What’s going to happen is that we’re taking your phone, but not your backup. Your backup will be for advertising this season, get the media talkin’ about it, the usual —”

“What’s the point of taking my phone away, then?” Sierra interrupts. Chris glowers at her, effectively shutting her up.

“Sierra, you’re an uber superfan, or whatever it is your label is — you probably have more knowledge on Total Drama than me. It’s time you’ve used your creepily excessive knowledge, you know.”

“What for?” Sierra asks, more curious than frightened.

“In Action, Owen was supposed to be a double agent, but he really failed because he cared too much. But you? Sierra, you know how important drama is. Use the campers weaknesses, blackmail, sabotage, whatever, just cause all the drama and chaos you can. Isn’t that so sick?!”

Sierra gasps and stares at Chris in awe. “You’re a genius!” She squeals out. “It’s always been a dream of mine to be a mole for a season!”

“That’s a really weird dream,” Chris points out. “But whatever. Basically, we’re saying we won’t sue you this time if you are a double agent, cause drama, and promote this season with no spoilers. Make it look like you’re hanging out with a contestant, spread a rumor, whatever, we need the media’s attention for the ratings to skyrocket! Understood?”

Sierra’s nodding her head so hard, that it might just fly off of her neck if she nodded harder. “Yes!”

Chris sticks out his hand, and smiles a sinister grin that only the devil could own.

Sierra reaches her hand out to shake the host’s hand, and tries not to squeal because she’s shaking Chris McLean’s hand. She once dreamt of this moment, but little did she know — or maybe she definitely knew, but would do anything for the drama — that she was making a deal with the devil.

“Nice to do business with you, Sierra.”

 


 

Leshawna, with a glass of a mango smoothie in one hand, was sprawled out on a fold-up lawn chair on the dock of Playa Des Losers. After the day’s challenge and events, she knew it was about time for the newest addition to this season’s losers to show up.

The thing about the Playa was that the contestants had no idea how far away it was from Wawanakwa; even though they had made it to the estate quickly earlier in the day, it was when they got eliminated there’d be a long ride to the Playa. At times, the contestants were sure Chef purposely drove in circles and took long routes to make them discreetly lose their minds. 

So when Leshawna saw the speck of Chef’s Boat of Losers in the distance, she wasn’t too excited, knowing it would be a while for the newly departed camper to show up to the Playa. 

It was tradition for the contestants to wait for the newest addition after each challenge; it had started back in season one, where, to be frank, was the best aftermath of the season (the Playa had this innocence to it that made everyone somehow, somewhat, get along, but it was hard to pinpoint where it came from) with Ezekiel waiting all by himself, and now it had stretched out to Leshawna waiting for whoever the newly booted contestant was. 

Wishing the boat would drive faster, Leshawna impatiently sighs and moves to check her watch, before remembering she had left it in her suite. Terrific. 

As if by command, the Boat of Losers pulls up to the dock, and Leshawna cranes her neck to see who she’d be spending the next few days with — until, of course, the next elimination. 

“Please, anybody but her,” Leshawna pales as she notices the flaming red hair on the boat. 

“Oh, hey Leshawna!” Izzy giggles and backflips off of the boat. Chef tosses Izzy’s luggage off of the boat, gives a silent nod to Leshawna (as if wishing her luck, which Lord knows she’d need), before driving off back to Camp Wawanakwa without another word. 

“I swear, it’s been ages since I’ve last seen you!” Izzy continues rattling on, either oblivious or choosing to ignore Leshawna’s lack of interest.

“Girl, you saw me three days ago,” Leshawna points out, bending down to help Izzy pick up her dumped bags. Izzy’s luggage was bright green with bold, odd patterns printed on it, which perfectly complemented Izzy. 

The redhead happily shrugs. “Same difference!”

Sighing, Leshawna decides to just let Izzy have the win. “Why’d you get voted off anyway?”

Izzy’s face falls slightly for a fraction of a second before replacing itself with a bigger and brighter smile. “I dunno. Hopefully Owen didn’t vote for me, though, or else we’d so be over before we even officially started!”

“Oh, you got back together?” Leshawna asks, unable to keep the surprise out of her voice. “Well, congratulations!”

“Thanks!” Izzy laughs, sounding surprisingly normal for once — maybe Leshawna had that effect on people? “Do you mind helping me bring this stuff to my room?”

Shrugging, Leshawna drags Izzy’s suitcase handle behind her as she walks back towards the Playa’s entrance. “Not like I have anything else on my schedule. Plus, might as well get to know the chick I’ll be with all alone for three days.”

“We should totally make an anti-Chris club,” Izzy exclaims, excited. “I can make T-Shirts and everything! I’m sure we can get whoever shows up here next to join us — ooh, and I also have a stash of trash magazines and facemasks I stole from Sierra, we can totally use them while we rewatch whatever Total Drama season is on TV, of course stupid Chris would only have reruns of his own show on the cable—”

Chuckling, Leshawna pats Izzy’s shoulder. “Whatever you want to do, girl,” Leshawna smiles. “Whatever you want.”