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Mark never would have thought he’d be counting down the seconds until a puppy interview ended, but his balls hurt from where the mini rottweiler squirming in his lap had stomped on them and he’s sweating off his makeup. He’s already fucked up this whole shoot so bad, and there is no hope he’ll come up with something extra charismatic or funny to say at the very end, so the best he can hope for is a swift cut.

As soon as the director calls it, Mark is turning to Yukhei with wide eyes and his hands waving in distress. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, dude that wasn’t cool I’m sorry--”

He’s interrupted by a flurry of noise and activity as Baekhyun and Taemin burst into shrieking laughter and like five managers rush to the director all talking at once, attempting to save Mark’s reputation and life by bargaining to keep his massive fuck-up out of the final edit. Buzzfeed staff are all over them too, urging them to stand and removing their mics and taking the puppies away. Mark catches a glimpse of Yukhei’s face and he looks like he’s smiling, and maybe halfway into reassuring Mark that it’s fine before a staffer whisks him away.

“I think I liked that more than the puppies,” Ten says, brushing dirt off his knees as he stands up.

“That won’t make the final cut,” Taeyong says, a hand on Mark’s shoulder as he stares over at the impromptu conference happening between Buzzfeed’s people and their own staff. “Don’t worry. They would never let something that, um… extreme be posted.”

Mark appreciates Taeyong trying to comfort him, but it’s not like he can save this through sheer willpower.

“Are you kidding? They’re Buzzfeed and that was entertainment gold.” Ten shrugs at Mark as if to say, sorry about it. “Don’t feel bad. It was funny, and it could have been worse.”

“How,” Mark says, finding his voice for the first time since the babbling that just ended his life, possibly one of his friendships, and definitely his dignity. “How could it have been worse?”

“You could have offered to suck his dick,” Ten says, and Mark squeaks, “oh my god shut up shut up please.” He glances in Yukhei’s direction, and…. can’t tell at all if Yukhei might have overheard that. His ears are bright red, but they’ve probably been that way since Mark first told his awful awful awful fucking insane joke.

Except it wasn’t a joke, not really, but Mark doesn’t know what the hell else to call it. The most extreme lapse in judgment he’s ever experienced? A total short circuit between his conscious brain and his mouth? Mark knows he doesn’t always have the best filter, but this is unprecedented.

Maybe he can blame the puppies. Doing an interview while handling animals isn’t as easy as other celebrities made it look, and Mark is running on two hours of sleep and a bagel, and of course the biggest and most hyperactive puppy of the bunch had attached itself to him and then proceeded to mutilate his crotch with its big rottweiler paws, and Mark had to pretend like he wasn’t in pain while also fielding all the questions. English interviews always come with a certain amount of pressure for him, even more so with SuperM when he can’t share the responsibility with Johnny.

The interview had turned into a lightning round where they were supposed to shout out their associations with certain emojis quickly while the puppies tried to derail them. Mark had been tasked with the bottoming emoji, and he’d absolutely pulled a blank for anything to say that wasn’t about anal sex. He knew that his long silence and the look on his face when they flashed that emoji were damning enough, so he needed to start talking quickly, and he was trying so hard not to think about sex, and he’d started rambling something about being flustered or dizzy and then he’d just--”

“Also, Lucas kind of--although really, he would be more the eggplant emoji--”

Yukhei had looked over at him with big eyes at the sound of his name, and Mark wasn’t sure if he understood ‘eggplant’ in English which made it worse. But a few of the other members were fluent enough to catch it (Ten, unhelpfully, let out a louder bark of laughter than Mark had ever heard from him) and every head was turning to him in disbelief, delight or confusion.

“Um, but not that way, not because I think about it a lot! I just meant that like, because he’s like, you know, he has, it’s just really b--”

And then Kai had yelled, “OKAYYYYY,” because Kai was the only hyung Mark could trust to ever have mercy on him.

The interview hadn’t lasted long after that. Mark doesn’t remember the rest of it, he might have blacked out.

"But is it really that big?" Baekhyun asks, looking curiously in Yukhei’s direction. "I can't believe I don't already know. I think we all need to spend more time together."

"Mmm, well," Taeyong says diplomatically while Ten starts making illustrative gestures. Mark excuses himself to go hide from everyone in the nearest bathroom for as long as he can possibly get away with until they have to leave for the next interview.


Yukhei is well-endowed. This is just a fact about him that Mark knows, same as he knows a lot of things about him, same as it’s hard to avoid knowing things about someone when you’ve lived with them on and off for years and have all the same friends. Yukhei has a big dick and he’s also gorgeous and tall, and a good dancer and a good rapper and really funny and that’s just how it is. Mark tries not to get pressed about it; in this industry you meet a lot of people that have won various genetic lotteries, sometimes all of the genetic lotteries, and Mark hasn’t really won any and that’s just another fact of life. Mark isn’t jealous and he doesn’t have a crush on Yukhei because having a crush on Yukhei would be stupid, and if anyone ever found out about it, Mark’s whole life would be super over and he could never show his face anywhere again.

So, yeah. No crush on Yukhei, it’s just that Mark knows how big his dick is and sometimes that pops up in his thoughts.

“I mean, the thing is, it kind of became a running joke within our group,” Mark says in the car to Baekhyun, who looks absolutely captivated. “That’s why it, like, popped into my mind all of a sudden, because it’s like an in-joke, sorta? All of us know that Yukhei is hung, it’s just kind of, like, this known thing that comes up sometimes. In a funny way. In a… like… it’s an in-joke, you know?”

Mark doesn’t know why he’s still talking. He needs to stop talking immediately about anything forever, and he knows he won’t, and sometimes he hates that about himself. If he hadn’t talked so much during that stupid puppy interview, none of this would be happening in the first place.

“Oh sure, I get that,” Baekhyun says. “Groups have all kinds of weird in-jokes when it’s just them. You know I’ve done it before, right? Talked about another member’s dick on television?”

“Oh,” Mark says, a little thrown by that. “Wait, really? Why?”

“Because it was funny.” Baekhyun shrugs. “It got a laugh, the TV show hosts loved it, the fans loved it. If this even airs, it’s just going to make people laugh and then it’ll blow over, relax.”

“Okay, okay,” Mark says, more to himself than to his group’s leader. He can relax, right? He’s good at relaxing, he’s not--well okay, he’s not that bad at relaxing. He shifts in his seat, looking uncomfortably out of his window at the Manhattan skyscrapers zooming past outside the highway. “I guess it’s also just that I feel kinda guilty? I mean, it’s this private thing about him, and I blabbed about it in front of all these people and… I don’t know. Even if it never airs, it might’ve been embarrassing for him.”

Baekhyun snorts. “It’s not like you told everyone he has a small dick. What’s embarrassing about it?”

Maybe what’s embarrassing about it is not so much embarrassing for Yukhei as it is for Mark. If Baekhyun doesn’t think that the slip-up made it obvious that Mark has Yukhei’s dick on his mind, well, then maybe no one else will make that connection. It’s probably too much to hope for, but Mark has to cling to something right now.

“You’re overthinking it,” Baekhyun tells him, patting Mark’s knee. “This is something that we’re all gonna laugh about, but it’s not something terrible, it’s not even spoilers for the album. Everything will be fine.”

And maybe it would have been fine if it had involved anyone else. Mark often finds that things that would be fine for other people become disasters when they involve him. It’s like he has a gift for making shit weird, and luckily people seem to find it pretty entertaining, so it’s been good for the cameras and his career and stuff and he doesn’t mind that. But it’s less helpful right now, and when Baekhyun says that everything is going to be fine, all Mark can think is that he might only be saying that because he hasn’t known Mark all that long.

When their cars arrive at their practice space and they’re shepherded into the catered dinner, Yukhei comes right to Mark’s side. He’s grinning but he looks a little bashful, and Mark guesses that by now he’s gotten the full translation of what exactly was said about him amongst the puppies.

“Oh my god,” Yukhei says, laughing and grabbing Mark by the shoulders. “I can’t believe you said that about me, that was the funniest shit I’ve ever heard! I can’t believe you’re real.”

“Yeah, uh, yeah, I get that a lot,” Mark says. “Dude though, I really am sorry, I feel like such an idiot. I don’t know what came over me, it was just like, such a mistake and then I couldn’t shut up and made it worse.”

Yukhei’s eyes are so big and so kind when he looks at Mark. That’s always been as issue for Mark and their friendship, Yukhei’s eyes. They’re just too big, they’re just too distracting. It’s hard to have fully bro feelings about someone when they’ve got eyes like that. Or at least it’s hard for Mark.

“It’s okay, man,” Yukhei says. “It was really funny and I’m, uh, I guess I’m flattered?” He had been pretty smooth up to this point, pretty relaxed, but Mark can see his ears going red again now. Then he swallows and looks past Mark’s shoulder. “When have you seen me naked though? I’ve never seen you naked.”

Mark hates the fact that this question is enough to make his dick jump a little bit. His skin feels like it’s burning right where Yukhei’s massive hands are touching him.

“Well, like… I don’t even know that, uh, that I ever have? It’s more just that, I don’t know, the other guys make jokes sometimes, so, like, so I sort of knew how big it was, you know, even if I’d never personally seen it…”

Mark used to hope that as he got older he would dig himself into those verbal holes a little less often. At this point, though, he’s begun to accept that this might be the way he is forever. If anything, sometimes he thinks he’s getting worse with age.

“Oh… Oh,” Yukhei says, big eyes getting even bigger. “So then... is that something you guys in 127 talk about like, a lot?”

Truly this is one of the worst days Mark has had in a very long time. He would switch bodies with anyone on the planet in order to escape this conversation.

“No, I mean, we talk about other things, you know, we talk about a lot of stuff! It’s not like this is--I mean, this isn’t the thing we talk about most when we talk about you! Not that we talk about you a lot! I mean of course we miss you, I mean I miss you, since you’re gone with WayV and stuff.”

“Oh, uh, yeah, I miss you too,” Yukhei says, looking like he doesn’t know what piece of all this to process first. Mark is used to that reaction from people, but not usually from Yukhei. His hands go to Yukhei’s elbows, clinging a little nervously.

“It was just a stupid joke, I don’t know why I say half the things I say. I don’t know. Like I said, I’m really sorry, though.”

Yukhei’s face breaks out into a smile again and then he pulls Mark into a hug, laughing in his ear. “It’s okay! It’s funny! Don’t worry about it.”

Mark steps out of the hug as quickly as he can get away with. Yukhei’s hugs are too good because he’s so massive, and Mark never trusts himself to not make it weird. Especially not now. Yukhei never gives him a hard time in any kind of serious way, always laughs with Mark more than he laughs at him, and Mark can think of plenty of people that would get so much more mileage out of making him miserable about his mistake instead of immediately telling him not to worry about it. It’s so dumb that he’s this grateful, but promotions and touring do weird things to his emotions sometimes.

“I’m gonna get food,” Mark mumbles as he steps around Yukhei to the buffet table. Yukhei squeezes his hand before letting go, and Mark wonders if everything he feels is written all over his face like he’s always afraid it will be.


Buzzfeed airs it, because of course they do.

Mark has never been very good at not stalking himself online. He knows it would be better for his mental health if he did as their staff always told them to and refrained from seeking out whatever netizens were saying, but Mark doesn’t have that kind of willpower. It drives him crazy not to know what people think of him, and sometimes he still loses hours and hours of sleep to the quest of trying to find out how much he’s liked or disliked by every single person on the internet.

He gets the google alert on his phone when the interview drops, and they’re waiting to be taken from one news room to a different one before yet another interview, and he accidentally makes eye contact with Ten across the hallway as they’re both taking their phones out of their pockets. Ten rolls his eyes in a way that communicates this better be good or maybe you’re a dumbass, it’s often hard to tell with him, and then they’re both surreptitiously watching with one airbud in while media staff people rush back and forth around them.

The problem (one of the many problems) is that the rest of the interview is not that interesting. It’s fine, Mark doesn’t think any of them did a bad job, but the questions weren’t great and no one else had any incendiary things to say about emojis, so it’s pretty much just hot guys and puppies. Hot guys and puppies and Mark talking about Lucas’s dick, so of course that’s the only takeaway.

Pretty soon Mark isn’t the only one watching the chaos unfold on his phone. Mark is pretty sure that they’re late to something on today’s schedule, but he finds himself in the center of a SuperM huddle, Baekhyun looking at his phone screen over his shoulder and commentating and occasionally scrolling past or clicking on something.

“What does that mean?” he asks, pointing at a word on twitter. It’s the wrong time zone for anyone not in the states to be reacting yet, so of course most of what they’re seeing is in English.

Mark swallows. “Uh, dickmatized? It means, like, hypnotized by, uh, you know.”

“Oh, now you get too shy to say it?” Ten says, flicking his ear. “Was that person describing themselves or you?”

“Oh oops, lost the post!” Mark scrolls furiously. “It doesn’t look like fans are angry, at least…”

“Hold on.” Baekhyun takes over again, tapping outside of Mark’s twitter search. “Look at that, we’re trending. No wait, Lucas is trending.”

“What?!” Yukhei grabs onto Taeyong next to him, shaking him a little as he leans in closer to Mark’s phone. Mark pushes down a momentary stab of jealousy of Taeyong. He shows Yukhei the screen, not trusting himself to speak.

“Oh my god,” Yukhei says. “Oh--oh wow.”

“Are fans excited?” Taemin says, crowding around to see. He looks delighted; all of the hyungs and Ten look delighted. Taeyong looks worried, and Mark feels ill.

“You could say that,” Ten says. “Oooh, look at this Mark, someone has already put your quote over a dubstep remix--”

Mark does not move fast enough to prevent Ten from clicking play, and he hears himself saying “Although really, he would be more the eggplant emoji” over a bass drop and synths before he;s able to fumble the phone back to himself and stop it.

“Oh come on, I want to hear the one that combined it with Jopping,” Ten whines, but Mark is stuffing his phone in his pocket. His ears are burning. In a way, he’s grateful that Ten zeroed in on the remix meme (how do people make these things so fast?) and tactfully avoided the many variations on #LucasHung or #LucasEggplant or #LucasBDEConfirmed that they could all see trending. If Johnny were here he probably would have pulled each one up on his own phone and read every tweet aloud until Mark and Lucas were both actually deceased from embarrassment.

“This is so funny,” Baekhyun says. “Mark, you can stop looking like your grandma just died. This is the kind of publicity that you can’t plan for or create on purpose, this is great for us.”

“But it’s not about the music,” Mark says, feeling stupid even as the words leave his mouth. “It’s not about the group, it’s about--um--”

Yukhei laughs. Is Mark imagining things, or does it sound like a shyer, more subdued laugh than usual? Mark tries to look at him without looking, and sees that his eyes are very wide and his cheeks are very pink. “Hey, it’s all good publicity. I don’t mind being a meme.”

“You’re a good sport, Yukhei. Mark, please don’t have a panic attack.” Jongin reaches up to touch the back of Mark’s neck, fingernails scratching at his hair before squeezing his shoulder. It’s a comforting touch and Mark leans into it, tries to laugh at himself.

“It’s fine, it’s fine, I’m glad the fans are having fun,” he says. He can’t help himself; he looks at Yukhei; he sees that Ten has a hand on Yukhei’s back the same way Jongin is taking care of Mark, hyungs stepping in to keep emotions from running too high, and that paradoxically makes him feel like shit is very much not fine.


Mark was right to have anxiety.

He’s never been in the center of a social media shitstorm spiral like this before, and even though this is relatively tame in the grand scheme of things, Mark prays to god that he never gets caught up in a real scandal because all the attention is low-key terrifying.

The problem is that it does not stop with the initial hashtags and dubstep remixes. The problem is that the clip of Mark implying Yukhei has a huge dick goes viral among non-kpop fans. The problem is that it’s all over instagram, facebook, twitter, literally everywhere--everyone and their mother seems to be unable to resist the siren call of Mark Lee embarrassing himself on camera.

The problem is that not everyone thinks it’s funny: Lucas’s fans have come out with a vengeance, and most of them are furious that their beloved is being talked about primarily in relation to his penis. As the hours tick by and more fans in different time zones wake up to see the news, the outrage builds, and less than 24 hours later fans have organized competing hashtags to clear the searches of Lucas’s name. So now #BigBoyLucas and #LucasBabyArmDick are competing with hashtags like #LucasGood #LucasKind and (Mark’s personal favorite) #LucasGoldenMember.

Between the hashtag wars and the memes and this one Old Town Road remix of his quote that has a truly terrifying number of likes on tik tok, it’s going to take a while to die down. Mark’s gaffe has completely overshadowed every other press item they have tried to release to build up momentum for the upcoming album, which drops in two days. Mark has had nightmares that went almost exactly like this, though they usually involved him accidentally going onstage naked, or going onstage and audibly farting, or sometimes both.

At least no one else in the group has gotten mad at him, although it’s such a PR hassle that he wouldn’t blame them for being a little less jovial about the whole thing. The company hasn’t just shrugged it off, though: Mark’s manager pulled him aside for a serious talk about what kinds of things are appropriate to say on camera, which Mark listened to meekly and swore up and down that he would exercise more control over himself in future interviews.

It’s been a weird and surreal and kind-of-hilarious-but-mostly-mortifying 36 hours. And Mark has managed to avoid any kind of conversation with Yukhei for almost that entire time.


“I can’t believe you told him about our Big Dick Lucas cinematic universe! You are the most terrible Mean Girl,” Johnny says.

“Fuck you,” Mark says, not entertained by Johnny’s laughter-over-sympathy approach to hyung-ness. “I’m not even sure those jokes are real anymore. What if, after all this, it’s not even that big? I should never have believed you.”

“Your first lesson let that be, young padawan.” Johnny holds up a finger and then lets it drop, leaning in close and looking right at Mark’s eyes instead of the FaceTime camera. “No actually but for real, it’s real, dude. He’s hung. Ask Taeyong or Ten, they’ve both seen it too. You’re the only one who’s never gotten an eyeful. Trust me, you’d remember.”

Every overworked and underpaid self-preservation instinct in Mark’s body comes together to prevent him from saying yeah no shit I know I would fucking remember. Johnny is high on the list of people who can never find out about the crush Mark doesn’t have, second only to Yukhei himself. “Yeah, well, I’m getting this online reputation for being totally obsessed with his junk even though I’ve never seen it, so. You’d just better not be fucking with me.”

“That’s so noble of you to fall on that sword for all of us just so that the world can know the truth,” Johnny says. “I think there’s a Bible verse about that.”

“Shut up, seriously,” Mark whines, and flops over onto his side on the bed, propping his phone up on the hotel pillow in front of him so he can hug the other pillow to his chest. He knows he looks like a baby and hears it confirmed in Johnny’s burst of laughter. It’s embarrassing and weird, the way Mark always has to FaceTime him whenever he’s touring with a group Johnny isn’t in; embarrassing because Mark will be twenty-one soon, and weird because of who Johnny is as a person. Most people probably wouldn’t find it comforting to call up someone who will spend 75% of the conversation making fun of them, but Mark does.

“Fall on the sword, get it?” Johnny just shakes his head when Mark stares at him in disapproval. “Look, dude, the only way you’re gonna get through this is by owning it. Get ahead of those dick jokes.”

“Pretty sure I’ll be fired if I ever make a dick joke within 100 yards of a mic ever again.” Mark grimaces and tucks the pillow under his chin. “Apparently… like, I guess if certain parts of the fanbase don’t calm down I might have to uh. Make an apology statement about this.”

“Holy shit. Holy fucking shit.” Johnny covers his mouth with his fist, eyes wide. Asshole. “Mark I’m sorry I know you’re having a hard time right now, but I can honestly say that if you issue a formal apology for telling the public about your friend’s huge meat, you will have secured your place in k-pop history. That would be legendary.

“Huge meat that I haven’t even seen!” Mark wails, belatedly realizing that these hotel walls probably aren’t very thick and he should keep his voice down. “Dude, how is this my life! I want, like, I want a freaking refund on like, everything.”

“You sure are awfully fixated on not having seen it,” Johnny says. Evil. Mark titters nervously. “Is that why you brought it up during a completely unrelated emoji? Free association? If I showed you an inkblot, would you see Yukhei’s dick in it no matter what?”

“It wasn’t--wasn’t completely unrelated,” Mark hisses, trying to keep his voice from climbing again. “Did you even watch the interview? Dude, they hit me with the bottoming emoji, I was like, trying so hard to think of associations that weren’t about sex and then a dog stepped on my balls and I just blurted it out!”

“Excuse me.” Johnny cups his palm behind the ear. “I’m sorry, the what emoji?”

Mark narrows his eyes. Johnny’s expression is innocent and Mark cannot tell whether or not he’s being fucked with. It’s usually safer with Johnny to assume you’re definitely being fucked with, but-- “Uh, yo… hang on, hang on.” Mark opens up their chat window and taps out the emoji in question. “You’re straight, what does this emoji mean to you?”

“Im offended that you brought my sexuality into this.” Johnny cocks his head as he looks at the screen, considering. “I think that’s you passing gas. Or no, wait, it’s the other person in the room when you just passed gas.”

“Ew, come on!” Mark glares as Johnny laughs and claps at his own joke. “Serious answers only please!”

“Okay, okay. I guess if someone sent that to me, I would think they intended to convey… being hungover perhaps? Hungover but still had a good time the night before, that kind of thing.”

Mark giggles. This is about to be so good; he never gets one over on Johnny. “Yo, dude… that’s the bottoming emoji. That’s the face of someone who’s taking it up the ass.”

Mark is ready for it, and manages to be fast enough to screenshot the look on Johnny’s face. He can tell that Johnny is milking the dismay to make him laugh, so he hasn’t managed to genuinely gross him out or anything, but he’ll still take it.

“My little Marky Mark…. saying such things! I should make you wash your mouth out with soap! Wait a second, who told you what anal sex is?”

Mark laughs and laughs, rolling away from his phone and onto his back and laughing some more until his lungs are totally empty. His last laugh turns into a sigh and he stares up at the ceiling, a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“I feel bad for Xuxi. I don’t…. Really know what to say to him about all of this.”

Mark can hear the soft noises of Johnny shifting around on the other end of the call. They don’t talk to each other about feelings stuff, not really. Nothing deeper than venting about tough schedules or (only when Mark was younger) the occasional crying breakdown over fears of not being good enough. They’ve never talked about problems with any of the other guys or anything not related to their jobs, so Mark doesn’t know what he’s expecting here. He just knows that his avoidance of Yukhei is going to edge into Real Asshole territory soon, if it hasn’t already, but knowing that doesn’t give him any clues for how to fix it.

“Sounds like you’re overthinking it. Classic Mark Lee,” Johnny says. “Just talk to him. Tell him you’re sorry if you feel that guilty about it, that’s generally what people do when they feel guilty about something.”

“Yeah, but like….” Mark sighs and tries to smother himself with the pillow.

“I don’t get why you’re being so weird about this? Is it really that bad that his dick is an in-joke with his friends in a good way. Honestly, if he didn’t want that to happen maybe he shouldn’t have chased Kun around their hotel room while helicoptering it that one time.”

“Oh mf gogf.” Mark is thankful that the pillow is hiding how red his face must be right now.

“You know, making it go round in a circle like helicopter blades?”

“Yeah I got what you meant, thanks.” Mark takes the pillow down from his face and even though he’s still looking up at the ceiling, out of the corner of his eye he can see Johnny helpfully illustrating the helicopter motion with his finger. “He’s never done anything like that to me or around me. Do you think he knows that I’m gay?”

Mark hasn’t regretted letting words fall out of his mouth like this in two full days. This is creeping perilously close to giving Johnny the information he needs to guess Mark’s crush, in fact Mark might have already blown it--Johnny is good at putting puzzle pieces together and Mark is terrible at keeping anything to himself.

“Uh, if you haven’t told him probably not? But I don’t think he would care if he did. I don’t think any of the guys would care, I keep telling you that.”

“Yeah.” Mark swallows past a hardness in his throat. “Whatever. Someday maybe.”

“Sure,” Johnny says easily, as easily as he always accepts this non-answer from Mark whenever they have a variation on this conversation. So maybe it’s not accurate to say they never talk about feelings stuff; Mark has literally no one else in the world to talk to about being gay and closeted and famous outside his home country, and Johnny is oddly non-judgmental about this one thing.

“Anyway,” Mark says, coughing awkwardly and rolling back over to face the screen. “How do I even apologize for something like this? I tried before and he just kind of brushed it off.”

“I can’t believe I have to spell everything out for you, are you an alien?” Johnny shakes his head. “Just ask him, ‘are we cool man?’ And then he’ll tell you that yeah, you guys are cool. And then everything will be cool.”

“That sounds like you stole it from an american teen movie.”

“I mean yeah, but that’s also how guys talk to each other, Mr. Alien.”

Mark frowns. It seems too simple. Way too simple, and he can just imagine all the ways how this supposedly simple solution will backfire when he attempts it, just because he’s the one saying the words.

“Mark, seriously. Can we talk about something else? Or end the call if you promise me to watch a very distracting movie with no dicks in it at all to get your mind off this? I just want you to turn that frown--” Johnny mimes the motion on his own face, turning his mouth into a horrifying Joker-style smiling rictus. “--upside down.”

“Fine, fine.” It’s late in Seoul. Johnny’s sleep schedule is a mess so Mark doesn’t feel that bad, but still. “Thanks, uh. Thanks for…. Good talk.”

Johnny does the slow blink he always does when he’s decided to let something go instead of mocking Mark for it. “Yep! Good talk. And seriously,” he wags a finger. “No dicks Mark! Not even a hint of dick! Maye no puppies either, just to be safe--”

Mark hangs up on him.


Two days later they arrive in Chicago, and Mark doesn’t know whether it’s bad luck or their staff stepping in to try and solve the avoidance problem, but he’s assigned to share a hotel room with Yukhei. SuperM’s promotions are always given massive budgets compared to when Mark is on the road with NCT, which means they usually get individual rooms unless they’re sharing for the cameras’ sake, so Mark suspects this is the fault of his unfeeling, cruel managers.

Mark spends the drive from the airport to the hotel with his headphones in and face mask up, pretending to be super absorbed in watching Netflix on his phone so that he doesn’t have to talk to anyone. Ten and Taeyong are in the car with him, talking quietly with the occasional ominous silence; Mark doesn’t think it’s that paronid to think that they’re talking about, if not him specifically, this whole PR situation.

It’s been days and fans are still furious. One of Lucas’s fansites has called for a SuperM boycott. While the other members have some free hours tomorrow to sightsee in Chicago, Mark will probably be holed up with staff drafting an apology. He’s had lower points on tours, he knows he has--at least he’s nor horribly sick, right? Mark still has his health, at least until the lack of sleep catches up with him and opens his immune system to some horrible Chicagoan virus, but getting through this tour without speaking to Yukhei sucks.

Sucks almost as much as it’s going to suck to be forced to talk to him while sharing this hotel room. Oh, god.

“Wow, nice!” Yukhei says as soon as they walk into the room. He turns to Mark with a grin. “It’s huge!”

It’s like, a normal-sized hotel room, but at least there are two separate beds and Mark appreciates Yukhei’s positivity. He says, “Yeah, sweet!” in a stupid voice and claps his hands together, then it’s like his brain runs out of anything else to say to disguise his total panic. And he thinks he can smell his own fear sweat. “I’m gonna shower!”

“Sure, okay,” Yukhei says, and Mark wonders if he’s imagining the earnest concern on Yukhei’s face (maybe it’s just those big eyes again? Maybe Johnny was right about Mark overthinking everything) as he flees for the bathroom.

Mark takes an extra long, extra-hot shower, and it half-works to calm him down. (Probably would have worked better if he’d jerked off, but Mark is too much of a pussy to do that at this particular tense moment in time.) After he’s finished, he’s half-convinced himself that he really has been overthinking everything and maybe he doesn’t even need to try Johnny’s “we cool man?” trick, maybe he’ll finish brushing his teeth and going through his skincare routine and everything will be back to normal with him and the only same-age friend he freaking has.

When Mark steps out of the bathroom, it is immediately clear that he was not overthinking things and that Yukhei is, like, definitely concerned. Concerned at the minimum. He’s just sitting on his bed with his elbows on his knees, staring at the floor, and when he looks up at the sound of Mark’s footsteps there is a very uncharacteristically serious look on his face. Crap.

“Uh,” Mark says. “Shower’s free?”

Yukhei ignores that. His knee bounces, some kind of nervous gesture, and if he’s trying to figure out how to tell Mark that he knows all about his weird dick fixation and their friendship is officially ruined forever, Mark wishes that he’d just spit it out.

Yukhei swallows. Mark waits for death, wishing that his last words as Yukhei’s friend had not been ‘shower’s free.’ Yukhei’s knee jiggles again. Then he says, “Are you avoiding me?”

“Uh, nope! No… avoidance, not from me,” Mark squeaks. “Um, I need to get dressed, can I…”

Mark makes an awkward flimsy gesture that means ‘I need to get past your huge long legs to get to my pajamas.’ Yukhei frowns and moves so that Mark can pass, and Mark can feel his eyes on him as he awkwardly shuffles to his suitcase with the towel around his waist.

“You’re always so modest,” Yukhei says, and Mark is so grateful that he has his back to him now so Yukhei can’t see his face. “Is that a Canadian thing?”

“Sure,” Mark mumbles. Now he feels self-conscious about pulling his pajama pants up under the towel instead of just putting on clothes like he would if no one else were in the room, but he can’t deal with Yukhei seeing his bare ass right now. So he puts on his sleep pants like a Canadian prude, and pulls the t-shirt on over his head, and when he finally turns around Yukhei is still frowning at him.

“You are avoiding me.That’s not cool, what did I even do?”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry I’m sorry.” Mark crumbles in the face of conflict, always has and always will. He sits down on the opposite edge of the bed from Yukhei, but Yukhei immediately ruins that by crawling right over to be next to him. “I’m not avoiding you now, see? I’m right here! Haha! You wanna, um, watch something or do something?”

Yukhei gives him a weird look. “You look like you’d throw up if I forced you to watch a whole movie sitting next to me. Seriously, what did I do? It’s not like it’s my fault that the company wants you to apologize, I can’t control my fans.”

Yukhei’s face is dangerously close to pouting, and it’s not even a fake ‘look at me I’m a gorgeous model’ pout, he actually looks bummed out and Mark feels terrible.

“I know that, I don’t blame you for any of this. I’m not mad at you. It’s like, all my fault, if anything I’m just like. Really embarrassed and really sorry.”

Yukhei’s face doesn’t get any less droopy. If anything, his eyebrows just pull down further. Mark lips his lips. He wants this to be a situation where all the discomfort and bad emotions will go away if he just apologizes enough. “Like, really sorry.”

“Yeah, I know, you said. I’m not mad at you either, I just….” Yukhei looks away for a second, his restless knee jiggle returning, and then he laughs and turns back to Mark with a rueful look on his face. “I gotta ask why, man. Why did you talk about my dick in the middle of an interview with Buzzfeed?”

Yukhei cracks up a bit in the middle of the sentence, unable to ask with a straight face, and answering nervous giggles bust out of Mark before he can stop them. This sets Yukhei off laughing for real, and this whole thing is objectively funny even if you’re not mentally twelve, which they both kind of are. And the more Mark laughs at himself the longer he can put off saying anything actually real, which would be great because he’s a shitty liar anyhow and he definitely doesn’t think he can lie to Yukhei when he’s all sincere.

In his laughter, Yukhei grabs Mark’s arm and shoulder, shaking him a little and pulling him closer in excitement. A lot of the other guys don’t try a ton of skinship stuff with Mark when the cameras aren’t rolling, because they know he’s still awkward with it, but Yukhei never got that memo and Mark has never minded. If anything he likes it way too much when Yukhei yanks him around like a ragdoll and touches and clings and holds his hand. Or does what he’s doing right now, pulling Mark into a half-hug that turns into Yukhei’s hand affectionately on the back of his neck, fingers petting at his nape. Mark makes a half-hearted effort to wiggle away, which just makes Yukhei grab at his neck harder, dragging Mark almost into his lap. The difference in upper body strength between them is pretty ridiculous.

“Answer the question, Mark, whyyyy,” Yukhei whines, and Mark closes his eyes and blurts out:

“Because you’re like this big-dick legend among all the guys but I’ve never seen you naked so I don’t know first-hand, and I guess that uh, like, yeah, I think about that every time I see the stupid eggplant emoji.”

Yukhei freezes mid-tussle. Mark thinks his whole body must be burning up from embarrassment. He’s used to being embarrassed but this is a whole other level, he feels like he might actually combust and be consumed by flames and burn a whole right through this hotel bed and floor and his manager would be so annoyed about that.

“What, really? For real, every time?”

“It’s like an intrusive thought,” Mark says, muffling his voice against Yukhei’s shoulder.

“Dude!” Yukhei shoves Mark away, just long enough for Mark’s brain to start running the ‘he hates you and you will die bereft and alone’ loop before Yukhei’s body warmth is back because he’s shoved Mark down on the bed, pinning his shoulders while Yukhei sits on his legs . “If it’s that much of a big deal I’ll just show it to you.”

And then, because Mark’s life is a horror show, Yukhei lets go of his shoulders to sit up on his knees and starts unzipping his fly with a stubborn look on his face. Mark squeaks and flails to escape because he has seen that look in guys’ eyes before and knows when there’s about to be an incoming attempted teabagging. Yukhei clenches his thighs around Mark’s hips like a vice grip, and Yukhei might be stronger but he’s got his dick half-out and Mark is slippery and wily.

Yukhei dodges Mark’s attempted knee in his groin but this gives Mark greater freedom of movement, and he manages to kick his way out from under the 6 feet of muscled guy on top of him to roll across the bed. Before he can scramble to his feet Yukhei grabs him from behind, arms wrapped around his middle. Mark shrieks and throws elbow, and hears Yukhei’s satisfying ‘oomph’ of breath in his ear when he connects with something. Then both of his arms are pinned to his sides and he’s fighting like a fish caught on a line, unable to do much of anything except try to buck Yukhei off of him.

This sort of works when Mark’s heel connects hard with Yukhei’s shin. Yukhei yelps, “what the fuck, Mark!” and Mark gets free again, this time going on the offensive, throwing one of his legs over Yukhei’s hips and trying to pin his arms down. This was never going to work but Mark is moving on caveman instincts, and his caveman instincts apparently forgot that Yukhei can dislodge someone of Mark’s weight class as easily as swatting a fly.

And that’s exactly what happens: Yukhei does one sickening pelvic thrust/body roll move and Mark is tumbling to the side, Yukhei’s hands on his shoulders again. They roll off the bed, which hurts, and Mark is worried for a second about Yukhei banging his head on the floor, but it must not have hurt that bad because Yukhei doesn’t even pause before moving lightning fast to pin Mark again. Mark struggles weakly for a few seconds more before giving up, going limp and panting heavily as he stares up at Yukhei, who stares back.

It’s a weirdly long pause. Mark’s internal monologue had taken a break while he was fighting for his life, but now it comes creeping back in, making hepful observations like how Yukhei’s eyes are really pretty when he’s staring down like this, and his mouth is really pretty when he’s breathing open-mouthed like wrestling Mark to the floor actually took some effort for him.

Mark’s observations have just enough time to notice that both he and Yukhei are half-hard, and then he doesn’t notice anything else because Yukhei kisses him.

It’s a good kiss. Good enough that Mark doesn’t think, and because he’s not thinking he can’t ruin things. He kisses back, opening his mouth, and there’s Yukhei’s tongue and Yukhei’s hot breath, wet lips and gentle teeth, small noises in his deep voice that Mark wants to chase down. Yukhei is kissing him with so much pressure, his whole body pressing down against Mark’s, tilting his head to deepen the angle and pushing Mark’s head down against the thick hotel carpet. Mark has his own noises, he can hear himself, but he’s so into what they’re doing that he can’t even feel embarrassed at himself.

Yukhei eventually pulls away, but he doesn’t go far, resting his cheek on Mark’s shoulder and panting against Mark’s neck. Mark swallows and heaves in his own oxygen and tries to get his brain back online. He can feel Yukhei’s hips snug against his own, and those hips are rocking a little bit, Yukhei’s hard dick through his underwear pressing into the crease of Mark’s sleep pants. Yukhei was more-or-less humping his leg while they made out. Jesus.

“Uh,” Mark says, his voice cracking and wavery. He swallows and tries again. “Yukhei, are you… into guys?”

Maybe things were better when Mark’s brain was offline. It sounds so stupid after he’s said it out loud, but also he is desperate here, has to know if this is some weird fluke caused by talking about dicks and wrestling and whatever, or if it’s--what is it? Mark has never even considered the possibility that Yukhei could like him back because he never even considered the possibility that Yukhei could be even a little bit gay. Mark has had this conception of himself as the only gay guy he knows (well, except for maybe Ten, but Ten was Ten and determined to be an enigma forever so he didn’t even count) since he was sixteen years old, and if that was never true than he has to know with an urgency that even beats out making out with his crush.

Yukhei doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, still just breathing against Mark’s neck. Every breath in and out is maybe the hottest thing that has ever happened to Mark in his short life.

“When I asked you why you said that…” Yukhei’s voice is low and a little bit hoarse, and Mark feels every word against his throat, feels the reverberations spread out to every single nerve ending in his body. “I really wanted you to say that it was because you liked me.”

Something in Mark’s chest breaks into a million pieces, but like, in a good way. He lets out a shaky breath and grabs for Yukhei’s shirt with both hands, twisting his fingers in the fabric and trying to pull him in closer, except they’re already as close as they can possibly get. “I, I do. I do like you.”

“Yeah?” Yukhei pushes up on an elbow to look Mark in the eye, and Mark feels hot all over, embarrassed and turned-on and hopeful and just, like, what feeling isn’t he feeling right now, he’s feeling all of them.

“Yeah, dude. I like you a lot, I have since we were trainees, I mean pretty much since we first met.” Mark presses his lips together to make himself shut up. He wants to keep going, wants to tell Yukhei all this corny shit like how he was the hottest guy Mark had ever seen when they met as kids and how he tried to hold him at arm’s length for the longest time because he didn’t want to get attached to someone who might not debut, but that was impossible with Yukhei, and from the very beginning Mark liked him so much more than he let on. Mark wants to keep talking, he could give a whole TED talk about how much he likes Yukhei’s eyes alone, except that Yukhei already knows what he looks like and Mark doesn’t want him to think it’s only about looks, and--

Yukhei kisses him again. Mark whimpers and arches up into it, kissing back and probably being overenthusiastic but he can’t help it. A part of him is completely freaking out because Yukhei hasn’t said that he likes him back, but maybe that doesn’t matter as long as they never stop kissing.

“I like you too,” Yukhei says between kisses, and Mark barely has a chance to explode into happy exclamation points before Yukhei shifts to the side and slides his hand up Mark’s shirt and then Mark is too busy gasping and shivering at the feeling of Yukhei’s hand on his bare skin. His touch is so warm and there’s so much of it, his stupid huge hand covers most of Mark’s ribcage, and it’s so nice and so electrifying and then Yukhei is fumbling at the tied drawstring of Mark’s pants and oh holy shit.

Mark lifts his hips off the floor to help and it’s very hot how Yukhei drags his pants down to his knees one-handed like it’s nothing. Then Yukhei moans, right in Mark’s ear and right as he touches Mark’s dick for the first time, and Mark is not going to last, this is going to be short and gruesome and so so so embarrassing.

“You’re so hot,” Yukhei says, still right in Mark’s ear, and that makes no sense as a thing for anyone to say but Mark is not going to fight him on it when Yukhei’s big hand is jerking him off. It doesn’t even matter that it’s dry because he’s already leaking so much precum, and the fact that it’s Yukhei’s hand touching him is enough to push him close to the edge all on its own.

“Please, oh, fuck,” Mark says, babbling like he doesn’t have a brain in his head, which right now he pretty much doesn’t. Yukhei’s grip is tight and a little rough, dragging without lube, but Mark needs this so badly that even that feels good. He bites his lip as he pushes up into it, and Yukhei is looking at him like he wants to drink Mark like a smoothie but with his eyes or something. It’s embarrassing and Mark tries to turn his face away but Yukhei just leans further over him to keep staring.

Yukhei opens his mouth and Mark is worried that he’s going to call him hot again or say something even worse, so he pulls him down into a kiss. Their kisses are messier now, friction from sticky lips and too much teeth, and it’s perfect with the just-as-messy rhythm of Yukhei’s hand on him. Mark feels white-hot pleasure at the head of his dick every time Yukhei drags his fingers over it, and every time he squeezes the base Mark can feel more pre-cum dribble out. Yukhei’s hand is so huge that he can almost close his fingers around the whole length at once, which should maybe make Mark feel bad about his dick size but instead it’s just a huge turn-on.

“Oh, jesus, oh christ oh shit fuck,” Mark says, hips stuttering, so far gone that he’s just babbling in English. He screws his eyes shut and tries to communicate in one of the languages they share. “I’m gonna--gonna come, if you want--”

Mark had been fumbling to try and get across that Yukhei can stop touching him if he doesn’t want to get cum all over his hand, but Yukhei just squeezes him hard and then speeds up his grip. Then he kisses Mark’s cheek and his ear, which is like, kind of weird but really sweet and that’s it for Mark, it’s curtains, he clings on to Yukhei for dear life and comes so hard he almost develops a leg cramp before his whole body goes limp.

Yukhei noses at Mark’s hair while Mark recovers, panting and shaking a bit. He feels Yukhei’s lips brush his temple, the shell of his ear again, and lower on his neck. It’s surreal, lying here in the afterglow with the hotel air conditioning hitting his bare legs, cooling him down in the few places on his body that aren’t covered by the boy lying half-on-top of him and kissing him. It occurs to Mark that they’re just… on the floor, in the narrow space between the hotel bed and the wall, and there is an actual bed just like right there.

“Uh,” he says when he can trust himself to speak. “Do you wanna…. I mean, shouldn’t we get in the bed?”

Yukhei pushes up off of Mark and looks around like he had completely forgotten where they are. He blinks a few times and it’s very cute. “Oh, sure. Sorry, were you uncomfortable?”

Yukhei looks down at him, all concerned, and Yukhei being concerned for your comfort after giving you an orgasm should be a whole Pornhub category on its all own. That’s what Mark’s dick thinks, anyway. He swallows and nods too many times, then shakes his head. “No! No, I was fine, I was, trust me that was like, super great. I just thought maybe you’d wanna be in bed for when I do you?”

“Uh, sure.” Yukhei was already kind of red but now he blushes more, and if Mark wasn’t busy cringing at his word choices he would appreciate that a lot. He watches as Yukhei gets to his feet and then brushes off his knees for some reason? It’s adorable and weird and looks kind of hilarious given that Yukhei’s boner is still obvious, tenting his briefs where Yukhei’s pants are unzipped and half-pushed-down.

And now that Mark has looked there, it’s not so adorable or weird or funny anymore and instead he’s just thinking about Yukhei’s dick. Mark averts his eyes and stands himself, and now that they’re both upright it’s so clear that the atmosphere has shifted from sexy to awkward.

“Um, if you want I can just go take care of this,” Yukhei says, making some gesture with his hand that Mark can’t interpret.

“What? Oh my god, no, don’t do that.” Mark doesn’t know what to do here, but he thinks of how Yukhei had kissed him and taken charge and how before that, he hadn’t stopped trying to be an adult and talk to him even when Mark was trying to flee in embarrassment. Mark can man up and save him if Yukhei’s the one feeling self-conscious this time.

Mark puts his hands on Yukhei’s shoulders and kisses him. Yukhei kisses back immediately, stepping into his space and wrapping his arms around Mark’s waist, and a little thrill goes down Mark’s spine at how, like, wow…. they’re actually doing this, it didn’t end with a handjob on the hotel room floor, they get to keep kissing. He tries to guide them both onto the bed and is pleased when this actually works, with Yukhei on his back with his head on the pillows and Mark straddling his hips. This is cool, Mark feels almost smooth for once.

That feeling comes to an abrupt end as Yukhei groans and arches his hips up and Mark realizes that the moment of truth is upon him. He can’t believe he just called it that even in his own mind, he’s so lame, but it really does feel like he’s on some terrifying precipice: his hands have moved of their own volition to the waistband of Yukhei’s pants and now they’re just hovering there, uncertain. Mark wishes that they had just hooked up in some normal way instead of only starting to make out because Mark talked about Yukhei’s dick too much during a puppy interview.

Before Mark can cover himself and pretend to be totally chill and normal about this, Yukhei pushes up on one elbow and smirks. “Are you sure you’re ready for it?”

“Oh my god, don’t. You sound like a porn star,” Mark says while Yukhei throws back his head and laughs.

The laughs turn to giggles, Yukhei bringing his fist up to cover his mouth while Mark’s hands stay frozen at his waistband. You can’t strip a guy while he’s in the throes of a giggle fit, can you? That just feels wrong.

“This is so embarrassing,” Yukhei says, still giggling, his entire face and ears bright red. “I wish that you hadn’t told me that 127 talks about it, this is embarrassing.

“If that’s what embarrasses you, you’ve led a blessed life,” Mark says, losing patience. He pinches the skin of Yukhei’s exposed, toned belly and Yukhei shrieks like a little kid, batting at his hands. “Are you going to keep it a mystery for the rest of my life or what?”

“Okay, okay. Hoo,” Yukhei says, trying to calm down. But he keeps setting himself off with miniature giggle attacks, his tummy shaking beneath where Mark still has a grip on his jeans. The endeared grin on Mark’s face is starting to hurt his cheeks, but he can’t stop smiling.

Then Yukhei clears his throat, pushes Mark’s hands away, and in one smooth motion lifts his hips and pulls his pants and briefs down himself. It’s--okay, Mark wasn’t prepared. He thought he was prepared, but now all the blood in his body is very confused about whether to go to his dick or to his face, and in the confusion he might pass out.

“Oh,” Mark says in a funny weird voice that he wishes he could un-hear. Yukhei laughs, but not unkindly; post-giggles he’s back to sounding all gravelly and hot, and the grin on his face is both smug and a little bit predatory. He looks… he looks like someone who knows he has a big dick.

Mark’s spatial reasoning is not good enough to estimate how long it is, but it’s--long. Long enough that he doesn’t want to compare it to his forearm. Thick enough that he doesn’t want to compare it to his wrist, although now of course he can’t think about doing anything else but that. Big enough that it would be really tricky to fit the whole thing in his mouth, and okay now that is the thing he can’t stop thinking about.

“Does it live up to the hype?” Yukhei drums his fingers on the comforter and Mark realizes he may have lost time while staring.

“Uh.” Mark clears his throat and drags his eyes away, looking at Yukhei’s face again. “Yeah, I would say so. I can stop losing sleep over this now.”

Yukhei grins, and Mark has no choice but to lean down and kiss that smile. Yukhei tilts his head back for it, making a pleased noise deep in his chest when Mark licks into his mouth. Mark touches Yukhei’s hip, hesitant, then breathes out in relief when Yukhei grabs his hand and puts it on his dick, encouraging Mark to touch him.

Mark wants to make this good, especially with how vocal Yukhei is, moaning and groaning and pushing up into Mark’s hand when Mark has barely stroked him twice. Mark pauses the making out to spit in his hand, which Yukhei watches hungrily. It’s better now when he touches Yukhei’s dick again, wetter and easier, and Mark squeezes the base with greater confidence.

Yukhei is uncircumsized and Mark does not really know what to do with foreskin, but when he hesitantly drags it partway down the cockhead Yukhei makes a very good noise and throws his head back, so that must have felt good? Mark plays with it a little more, his thumb rubbing at the skin that’s exposed when he drags the foreskin down.

“Tell me if anything doesn’t feel good,” Mark murmurs, and Yukhei nods several times.

“It--it’s all good,” he says, strained. It’s kind of an ego boost, seeing and hearing him get closer to undone because of what Mark is doing. Mark isn’t a total virgin, but being an idol has meant that SM basically has him in a chastity belt 24/7, so it’s been a long-ass time since he’s touched anyone like this.

And fuck, Mark likes touching Yukhei. He might get hard again just from doing this, from how much more effort it takes to get his hand around Yukhei compared to when he touches himself. There’s really a significant up-and-down motion required just to stroke Yukhei from base to tip, and when Mark looks down to see what he’s doing he feels almost dizzy with how hot it looks.

“You’re--incredible,” Mark says, sincerity tripping off his tongue before he can help it. But Yukhei seems to like that too, whimpering and tucking his face into the arm Mark is using to prop himself up.

“Don’t stop,” Yukhei says, and the pleading note in his voice is just as hot as the sight of his dick thrusting up into the circle of Mark’s fingers. Mark squeezes him, hard, then twists his wrist at the tip like how he likes it on himself, and Yukhei whimpers again. He clutches at Mark’s shoulder, hard enough to probably bruise Mark’s dainty skin, but Mark is so far beyond caring. Yukhei can bruise him all over if he wants. Mark is ready to embrace any and all pain that comes from sex; his arm is starting to get sore, but even that is like, objectively awesome. Also, he probably should be working out more if this is all it takes to fatigue his muscles, big dick or no.

Yukhei says a bunch of things in cantonese that Mark doesn’t really catch, but it all sounds hot, and Mark is going to hazard a guess that it means he’s close. He hears his name, which makes his chest go tight and kind of achey, but that feeling is abruptly cut off when Yukhei bites his shoulder. It’s not a gentle bite at all, it like, actually hurts and Mark yells without thinking about thin hotel walls or how Taemin (Taemin!!) is one room away.

And then Yukhei comes, teeth still dug into Mark’s skin like Mark’s skinny shoulder is one of those gags they give to soldiers getting their leg amputated in the 1800s. Mark feels Yukhei’s dick stiffen and shoot before he feels the warm wetness on his knuckles, and weirdly it catches him by surprise even though this was obviously his goal the whole time. Mark looks down at his handiwork in time to see Yukhei’s red dick spilling the last few spurts, white cum all over his tanned stomach and his shirt above that.

Mark strokes him through it until Yukhei collapses back on the bed, letting Mark loose from his chompers. Mark curls up against his side, throwing his leg over Yukhei’s thigh and tucking his foot under Yukhei’s calf. He feels… good? Yeah, he feels really really good.

“You bit me,” he says, complaining to try and cover for being happier than he’s been in a long time. “Dude. I think you almost broke the skin.”

“Sorry,” Yukhei slurs. One of his long arms pulls Mark in even closer, until there’s no space between them anywhere. Is it creepy that Mark wants to record and capture every single one of Yukhei’s heavy, sated breaths? The dopamine rush is making him get weird. Weirder.

Everything goes blurry and soft at the edges of Mark’s vision as he lies on Yukhei’s chest and feels him breathe. The next thing he knows, he’s waking with a start, and there’s a little line of drool from the corner of his mouth to Yukhei’s shirt. Also, Mark isn’t wearing pants and his legs have gotten cold. He has no idea what time it is, but it’s got to be late now, and someone needs to turn the overhead lights off.

Yukhei is still dead-ass asleep, and not very receptive to being woken up no matter how much Mark prods at him. Mark is just trying to take care of his friend, because maybe Yukhei wants to shower or brush his teeth or at the very least not go to sleep in the shirt he’s been wearing all day, but oh well.

Mark brushes his teeth and hits the lights, and when he gets back to bed he has more success in pushing and prodding until Yukhei is under the covers with him instead of spread-eagled on top of them. Satisfied, Mark re-attaches to Yukhei’s side, thrilled when Yukhei displays enough consciousness to get an arm around Mark again.

“This was really great,” Mark whispers, wriggling happily under the covers. He knows it’s sleep time, not talking time, but he can’t let the night end without saying it at least once.

“Mm. You’re really great,” Yukhei says, and Mark feels lips brush his hair. “‘Night.”

If Yukhei is awake enough to kiss him goodnight, he was awake enough to get his own ass under the covers instead of letting Mark lug him around, but that’s okay. Yukhei has a huge dick, a bigger heart, and he likes Mark back, so as far as Mark is concerned he can do whatever he wants until the end of time.