"C-can I r-ride your fingers?" Jimin stuttered out with his bottom lip between his teeth.
He did this every time. Turn shy and nervous. It wasn't as bad as the first time he asked, but he was still timid.
Jimin was needy and Yoongi was compliant.
Most best friends don't do these types of things, but Yoongi would rather it be him Jimin asked for instead of some random douchebag, which has unfortunately happened in the past.
Yoongi held up two fingers. He didn't say a word or look up from his phone.
Yoongi ticked his head to the side, a bit annoyed that Jimin even felt like he had to ask again. He should have already known the answer. It's always yes. Yoongi can't ever deny Jimin. He's tried.
Yoongi could see Jimin's eyes shine from his peripheral.
Jimin licked his lips and immediately took Yoongi's fingers into his mouth. Yoongi smirked.
The feeling of Jimin's tongue sliding around his fingers had Yoongi tensing.
Why does he keep finding himself in this position. Same situation. It should have only been the one time. Hell, not even then.
He may bury his feelings, deep down, but he'll never deny how incredible it all feels. That's probably why.
Yoongi eventually feels a soft touch of dainty fingers around his wrist, lowering his hand down to rest against the couch.
Yoongi grits his teeth as he waits to feel Jimin's warmth. A feeling he's had dreams about. A velvet so smooth he's convinced it's satin.
These moments may hurt Yoongi, but he'd be willing to do anything to make Jimin happy. Even something as intimate as this. No matter how much it damages him, as long as Jimin is happy, that's all that matters.
Jimin slowly lowers himself down onto Yoongi's perfect fingers with a sharp inhale. Hand gripping the back of the couch for support.
Head thrown back and eyes closed, his chest heaves.
Yoongi turns his head and looks at Jimin's face, twisted in pleasure, and then down to Jimin's small, flushed cock and watches the way he swivls his hips. The dryness in Yoongi's throat nearly making him choke.
"T-touch me, hyung. P-please." Jimin begs. Yoongi won't.
He doesn't let himself have that pleasure.
Jimin always begs and Yoongi always refuses. And it kills them both.
Where this control comes from, Yoongi doesn't know. He stopped questioning it awhile ago. None of what is happening makes any sort of sense. It's best just to completely ignore all the red flags and warning signs and keep going. At least that's what Yoongi's convinced himself of.
Yoongi holds in a grunt and looks back at his phone, vision blurring further with each moan Jimin huffs.
He can feel his pants start to strain as well as his sanity. Slowly starting to chip away.
Yoongi holds his breath as Jimin starts to whimper. He knows he's getting close. Feeling Jimin's walls begin to tighten around Yoongi's fingers, they both shutter.
He tries to always keep still, but towards the end, when Jimin has tears rolling down his rosy cheeks, Yoongi crooks his fingers just right, making Jimin explode.
The feel of Jimin shaking apart is almost enough to have Yoongi coming in his pants.
Especially getting to feel the build up from the inside out.
Yoongi did that to him.
Jimin loves the feeling of coming but his mood turns sour after he comes down from his high. Sad to lose the feeling of Yoongi. He stays a little longer than he probably should. As soon as Jimin finishes that thought, Yoongi wiggles his fingers and that's Jimin's cue.
Yoongi finally exhales as Jimin gets up onto shaky legs, hand on Yoongi's shoulder.
Finger tips grazing bare skin next to his collar, which somehow feels more intimate than what they just did.
Jimin grabs his boxer briefs from off the floor and shuffles to the bathroom.
Yoongi lets his phone slip from his hand, squeezing his eyes shut, letting his head fall back onto the couch.
His middle and forefinger tacky, beginning to cool.
Yoongi rubs his thumb over his fingers, feeling the remnants of Jimin. He bites his lip.
He always feels like shit after. He always feels regret. He should have touched Jimin, like he asked for him to, like Yoongi so desperately wanted to. But his damn heart gets in the way of his dick. His mind a complete mess. Much like he made Jimin.
"Why don't you ever touch me?" Jimin spoke softly as he returned to the couch. Wet washrag wiping Yoongi's fingers off.
They've never really talked about any of it.
"Because it'll just complicate things." Yoongi sighs, eyes still closed, he runs his clean hand over his heated face. He's clearly not thinking. Images of Jimin's face painted in bliss still flashing by. "Pretty sure things are already passed that, hyung." Jimin confirms. Is he trying to make this a joke? "Jimin...." Yoongi croaks out, voice rough with emotion.
"I know you want to." Jimin keeps his head down, hands busy cleaning up his mess.
"I noticed you twitching. Just-"
"Jimin, don't." Yoongi cut him off.
Jimin pouts, letting out a small whine.
"You know why." Yoongi whispers.
"B-but I don't..." Jimin trails off.
Yoongi sighs. "Jimin, if I touch you, then that's it. It's over. I'm going to give in and lose it." Yoongi explains, becoming irritated.
"Give in to what?" Jimin looks up.
Yoongi rolls his eyes shut, trying to calm his breathing.
"If I touch you then I'll immediately give in to fucking you so goddamn hard that no one else will be able to compare. It'll ruin everything. I'll ruin... you."
He hears and feels Jimin inhale and shiver.
Yoongi's eyes snap open, immediately looking over at Jimin. Face red and eyes hard, Yoongi watches Jimin swallow. They stare at each other. Counting each breath.
"Do you- do you want that?" Yoongi asks in disbelief. Yoongi sees Jimin's pupils dilate.
Jimin's creme brulee scent is still glittering in the air, fogging his head, making it harder to concentrate.
By some logical miricale, sense slams Yoongi in the back of the head.
"Fuck, Jimin.... fuck." Running a hand through his damp hair. "Stop. We can't. We go through this shit every damn time. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I just can't...." Yoongi confesses, hand wiping his mouth.
"Then don't" Jimin answers, voice lower than before. Yoongi feels him move closer. Jimin's bare knee brushing against ripped denim. He knows Jimin's already seen how hard he is still.
Jimin wants Yoongi to break. For his restraint to snap and to wreck Jimin in every way. Yoongi can feel the electricity in the room. Thick and building. Jimin's finally had enough too.
This time has felt way too different.
It's too warm, and sweat rolls down the back of Yoongi's neck.
He could leave. He could get up right now and leave Jimin sitting there in nothing but his blue underwear and his- no wait, he's wearing Yoongi's shirt. His white FG shirt that he left on the bathroom floor this morning after his shower. Shit.
Yoongi really has been blind. He feels the need to laugh at his stupidity.
"Fuck it." Yoongi's hand immediately grabs the back of Jimin's neck, fingers sliding into his hair, Yoongi crashes his lips into Jimin's.
Jimin's plush lips against his shocked, sparked, and fizzled. Buzzing to the surface, souls aflame.
They both jerked apart, eyes wide and intense.
"Holy shi-" Jimin breathed, but Yoongi didn't let him finish, immediately diving back in to chase that feeling.
This was it.