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I don't know what I really said, it doesn't take much to provoke this reaction in him, but here he was, pulling out his middle finger. I looked at him for a few seconds before taking a puff of the joint and then passing it to him, his finger stopped the affront to take it and then do exactly the same as me, it was almost time to go to class so we had to hurry, then this thing came into my head with the image of Craig's middle finger still hanging around.

"Every time you do that thing with your middle finger it makes me want to suck it, you know?" there was a long silence, I thought he didn't hear me so I didn't care much, and I went on with my task of finishing this thing before the bell rang...  

"What?" but apparently he had heard me, he reacted late but he reacted. Maybe it was the stuff I was smoking doing the talking.  

"Yeah, as a sort of reflex or whatever," and he stood up. I watched him from the ground still with the joint in hand.  

"Well, I'll start walking away and pretend you never said that" he looked over his shoulder at my "I'm doing it for your sake Ken..." I snorted. 

" Does it bother you?" he raised an incredulous eyebrow, I threw the little cigarette that was left on the floor and then covered it with some snow.  

"Does it bother me?" he asked amusingly, even though it didn't quite show on his face. "Your reflection... to suck dicks..." I could already see the fucking joke, my expression became scandalized by the damn dirty words.  

"What? No!" I almost shouted "God, you don't even have it that big" I let go a soft smile in mockery "you keep raising your middle finger because you have nothing else to show..." and he frowned probably resisting the urge to raise it because of the awkward context.  

" you still want to suck it" I kept silent for a few seconds... I stood up feeling stupid now because of what I had said, that's why I hated smoking with friends, I always ended up talking shit. 

"You know what?" I put my hand on his shoulder, he looked at it, then in my direction with this slight caution "Just go, let's pretend this didn't happen" and finally during the whole fucking conversation a corner of his mouth curved. 

"nope, too late Kenny, too late" and the bell saved me, we had to leave. We didn't have the same class so we weren't going to see each other for a while. 

Then came lunch, Stan was with Wendy, Cartman played sick so he missed it, he always missed it when he could, so it was just Kyle and me for today. I put my chin on my hand and watched Kyle take bite after bite of his kosher in his little mouth and chew just enough to keep talking about I don't know what the fuck. I sighed still annoyed about the craig thing. 

"...and that fat son of a bitch comes over and shows me my fucking vomit-filled underwear... vomit Kenny... where the fuck did he get my..."  

"do you think it's..." finally he shut up "...weird that I feel like licking Craig's middle finger every time he lifts it?" and again silence, I counted the seconds, about six passed... 

"What?" I sighed, looking for his confused look. 

"Don't you have the same thing? With..." I shook my head looking around for some stupid example, nobody "...I don't know, Cartman?" and this part was kind of funny because almost in a matter of seconds his face made this absurd disgusting expression, I rarely saw such displeasure in him. 

"Cartman" he repeated with this hint of utter disgust and hatred in his voice.  

"Cartman" confirmed "Craig is a pain in the ass, so is the fatass, maybe that's it" and his little nose wrinkled completely as he put his food away. 

"no kenny, i don't feel like sucking that fat ass's middle finger every time it rises..." and the way he said it... horrible images ran through my head, i couldn't help but imitate his expression.  

" It rises up. That sounds horrible. Why the hell do you have to put it in those terms?" I covered my face with images of Kyle... and Cartman... "Fuck, now I feel filthy" I mumbled more to myself. 

"And you ruined my lunch Kenny, thank you very much" and took his lunch tray, stood up, and left, no idea where but probably far away from me. 

Then the exit, I had to take the notes to the fat ass, so I could not go with Craig as usual, but what's the difference, sure was going to be uncomfortable. 

I knocked and waited, scraping with the tip of my house keys this carved part on the door that clearly said 'Cartman is gay for Kyle', something we all had done every time we came to this house, it was almost part of a ritual, it was quite visible at this point. I also heard the screams of the asshole to his mother to open the door in the background, not much happened between his scream and Liane opening and smiling in front of me. 

"ow, hi Kenny, my pumpkin is very sick, he doesn't want to see anyone today" yes of course. I shook the notebook I was supposed to give him to emphasize my point. 

"I've come to bring him today's notes," she raised her eyebrows and then smiled like only she knew. 

"Sure, come in" I nodded to move towards the stairs listening to the noise of battle increasing, he was playing. 

"This sniper son of a..."     

"Fatass" I didn't knock, I just pushed the door, it's not like he was masturbating or anything. 

He sighed in surrender as he stepped out of online mode and into the multiplayer, threw the other controller at me as I sat next to him on the floor, he grabbed the notebook and threw it away. We just played for a while until this crap thing came back to me. I was stupid if I was really going to talk to him about this. 


"no Kenny, control one is mine..." I clicked my tongue in disgust.

"ain't that fat fuck" and I killed him, he grunted underneath. 

"fuck you Kenny, whatever you want, fuck you..." I rolled my eyes. It was impossible to talk to him about anything serious, if this qualifies as serious, at least for me it does.  

"just listen, can i..." i took a breath, was i really about to do this? "can i suck your middle finger?" he reacted immediately, he's not as slow in processing crazy stuff as craig or kyle, it's his area after all. 

"what?" he paused just to look at me like a fucking weirdo, just for that and to take a little cheese ball in his mouth.  I exhaled really pissed off at this point. 

"Why the fuck does everyone react the same way, I'm talking about fingers, God, not, what do I know, dicks..." He took a sip of his soda while I was talking.

"I don't know Kenny, shit just comes out of your mouth, it's like your brain has chronic diarrhea or something, you should see a doctor, that's not normal" he laughed then " hell no, since you're white trash you don't have insurance, do you?" I let the insults go, unlike Kyle, I couldn't care less. 

"Anyway, can I?" he looked up in disbelief at my insistence. He took another sip, and stuffed another cheese ball in his mouth before answering. 

"and then have me shove it up your..."  

"May I?" I interrupted him before the crap that was coming out of his mouth did. He snorted, wiping his hand with the pajamas he probably hadn't taken off since yesterday.  

"Well, well, faggot..." he mumbled, extending his hand, making a fist, leaving only the middle finger within reach. "Now suck" I looked at him in disbelief at the fact that he was ordering me to do this... out of context would be very bad. I looked at his finger, then at him "suck it," he moved it in front of me impatiently. I growled at him, pushing him away.  

"Take that thing off, damn it, you can't be any more of a pig because you can't fit any more shit in your stomach, fuck" and I stood up, he shrugged his shoulders and took the control of the console one more time.  

"Fuck you" and went back to online mode "and get lost, my mom's gonna start making dinner and she's gonna think you're staying for dinner"  

"Fuck you" was the last thing I said before I left the room, the sounds of war resuming their course.   

It was about seven o'clock at this point, I just walked down the street... I could talk to Craig, it was no big deal, just doubts running through my head, right? We were just talking about a finger, it wasn't some kind of absurd sacrilege as most seemed to think, I didn't even understand what the fucking problem was. So I turned to go to Craig's house, his mother opened up, his father gave me the usual ugly look and his sister winked at me, nothing out of the ordinary when I visited his house. 

I knocked, there was no noise coming from his room so it's better to be safe than sorry... 

" Come in," he muttered in his prominent nasal voice, I took a breath to turn the knob and go in, he was on the pc, he turned on his chair and this slight expression of annoyance ran down his frown. I took a seat on his bed and waited for him to say something, I didn't know how to start.

"Then..." and that was enough to make me talk.  

"I know it's late but..." 

"Are you staying for dinner?" he interrupted, I denied.

"No, no, tell your mom no," I sighed. "I just want to get this thing out of my head..." 

"The one with the advice is your fag friend, or fags, I don't know."  

"I already talked to kyle... and cartman" craig turned around again to continue with whatever he was doing on his computer. 

" well, if neither of them could... " 

"It's the finger thing" I rushed to say, he was silent, maybe he didn't hear "this morning's..." 

"I know what you're talking about, damn it" and he turned to me once more, his face furrowed with plain, simple skepticism "are you serious?" I shrugged my shoulders not understanding his attitude at all. 

"Why shouldn't I be serious," he tilted his head still with this expression on his face, waited a few seconds, as if expecting something, and then sighed in resignation at the end. 

"Are you retarded? Or are you just playing dumb..." he let a few seconds go by, I didn't bother to respond, I assumed it was rhetorical but apparently it wasn't "your face confuses me, you seem to be serious but..." and my hand flew to my face, this was starting to fuck me up. I squeezed my eyebrow. 

"I don't understand why so much drama for one fucking finger." 

"Don't you see the sexual connotation?" Well, that was funny. I let go of a soft laugh looking for his look, which eased up a bit when I saw that he seemed to be serious. 

"Sexual? You sexual?" I asked, now the incredulous one was me "Craig, you're as sexual to me as a fucking cucumber..." well, that didn't sound good, the bitter guy's eyebrows were coming together, his silence was also "carrot..." fuck "zucchini..." really? "A fucking banana then!..." he let go a strong sigh of disgust at my attempts "god!, I don't know, you know what they say, anything with a condom is a dildo..." I almost screamed in irritation. I wish no one downstairs had heard that.    

"You're retarded," he concluded by rubbing his temple. "Yeah, nobody can pretend to be that stupid and not kill half a million brain cells in the process." 


"So you just came to this? I knew you were half retarded Ken...! 

"Let me suck your finger" and I dropped the bomb, I just wanted to get out and at this rate I wouldn't get anywhere. He watched me unflinchingly for a few seconds as he lowered his hand.  

"no" he said almost immediately after that. I stood up looking to shorten the distance. 

"please?" and I put my hands together in supplication.  

"no," he backed up in his chair, and I continued to move forward. 

"Come on Craig..." I insisted on stopping in front of him, the back of the chair against his desk. I smiled victoriously at his docility, waiting for a punch at this point. I leaned over the arms of the chair, trying to lean over him.   

"This is getting weird Kenny, back off or the only thing you'll be sucking on is my fist in your fucking face" I stopped. 

"Well, I'm trying, asshole" he was silent, he frowned in disgust, then his lips formed into a line of annoyance and I saw his hands form into fists on his chest, and then a grunt came out of his throat in resignation, I've never seen him make more expressions in my life than at that fucking moment. 

"Well!" he snapped, his breath shortly caressed my neck, and I felt real close, shit, this was fucking close "five seconds and you're out" and he lifted his middle finger, he'd been holding back since this morning. 

" cool " I smiled satisfied bending over to reach the tip of his finger, finding his blue eyes in the process... something in my stomach moved oddly "close your eyes or look away, god" he let go of air allowing his eyelids to drop. Better, somehow feeling his eyes on me made me feel uncomfortable, at least at a time as damn weird as this

"You're a real shit," he muttered, I just rolled my eyes in response. 

"here I go" and finally I had him between my lips. 

"five..." I bit the tip before letting my tongue run down the outside and then sucked gently "four..." I closed my eyes. His breath escaped curiously, I did not take much care, something in me was reacting the same way. I stuck his finger down my throat, my lips brushing his knuckles as I felt the middle reach the back of my tongue, his hand shook and exerted this slight pressure on my mouth "three..." I let my tongue run down it without moving it, and I eventually walked away just enough to make both my wetness and his heart dance in a really delicious swirl, he started playing the same way with my lips "three..." did he repeat? I don't know, but his tone sounded so damn lewd that I felt my pants out of nowhere not being big enough for my 'need' "two..." his voice forced me to open my eyes, dilated pupils watching as his teeth retained his lower lip in a gesture of vain excitement "two..." that was barely understandable, He had repeated once more and one of the corners of my lips rose up as I circled his wrist without taking my eyes off his to sink as far as I could his finger into my throat "zero" and he pulled his hand out of nowhere as if he had touched fire, I backed up to sit on the bed looking everywhere but towards him  

"wow..." I muttered. 

"And...?" I looked up, this soft blush covered his white cheeks, his lip still had a little tooth mark on it...  

"I think I see the sexual part of this" I couldn't help the damn lascivious tone as our eyes connected, he frowned and turned on his chair to the computer a second time. 

"Well, now get out of my house..." I lay down on the bed. 


" What"  

"I got a boner, just wait for it to come down" I replied as if nothing had happened, just kept silent, a bit uncomfortable. And silence, more and more silence with the sound of clicks of his mouse and these strange squeaks that made the rat that he had being the only thing going "then ..." 

"no" I sat down. 

"What? I didn't even ask or say anything," I said, letting the indignation flow.  

"I won't let you suck my dick..." How did he know?  

"Oh come on! You're preventing me from revealing myself as a bisexual person, that must be illegal in some fucking state. Craig" he kept silent " Not to mention that I know you want it, you should have just seen your face when..."  

"that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my life" he stood up, walked to his window "every day you surprise me more" and pointed at it " Now... go away" I looked at him, he couldn't be serious. 

"out the window..." 

"out the window, like the filthy fucker that you are." 


"Really..." I grunted underneath, standing up, walking towards him.

"Fucking asshole" I muttered out the fucking window.  

"what?" and oddly enough there was anger in his voice. 

"Nothing" was the last thing I said before I jumped. By the time I hit the ground the asshole had closed and everything... "I'll suck you off one day Tucker!" I screamed in one last burst of glory, or something. Then by the time I looked back at the yard, the father of the son of a bitch was there drinking a beer, this look of sadness on his face remembering his son was half a fag... I sighed "Have a nice night Mr. Tucker" and jumped the fence to leave. 

Now all that remained was to explore my new discovery and about Craig... eventually he would fall, they all did.