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Hell is a Mess

Chapter Text

Present Mic sits at a table in UA facing a camera. There is nobody at the camera. There is nobody in the room. The camera isn't even recording.

Present Mic: Hello, little listeners! It's Present Mic from Put Your Hands Up radio, but I'm not in my usual place. Instead, I am at UA! Most of you are probably wondering, 'Hey, Present Mic, I think you lost it. You're talking to yourself.' You're wrong! I'm talking to you! Yes, you, the reader! I have 4th wall breaking ability to, you know! In fact, I consider mine stronger than Midoriya's. However, let me explain everything, so you don't think I'm insane.

Starting at the base, this is based on the Midoriya from 'When All Hell Breaks Loose.' If you have not read that book, it's highly recommended as you will be lost otherwise. This book is going to be one-shots with that Midoriya, whether it be through a little scene, AU, or Q&A. If you're like Eraserhead and want the basics, here is what you need to know.

1. Midoriya is a hyperactive clean-freak genius psychopath. He's quirkless here, hacks and builds, and does whatever he wants because he lacks ethics. He also has a position amongst the UA staff. Finally, he usually goes by his given name. We are only going to his family name for the first part.

2. Midoriya and Eraserhead have a weird relationship. They are brothers though they argue and get along in the oddest places. Like, they may argue what to have for dinner, but get along if they need to do some work.

3. Eraserhead and I are together, so you better stay away from my man, or I will blast the old men yelling song through my speaker.

4. Finally, Midoriya, Midnight, Eraserhead, and I are a squad. You mess with one of us, you mess with the whole squad.

Just then, Midoriya enters with what looks like a wine bottle in his hand. He's dressed in what looks like a Nezu cosplay except for the fact there is a green napkin popping from his vest pocket and the other side as a clip-on golden UA.

Midoriya: Uh, did the hair-gel finally get in your brain?

Present Mic: No, no, no! You're just in time! Sit with me and let me see that bottle.

Midoriya: I think I need to call Shouta.

Present Mic: I'm talking to the readers!

Midoriya looks at him with a confused look.

Midoriya: Since when the fuck could you break the 4th wall?

Present Mic: A while.

Midoriya: A while?! And you didn't tell me?!

Present Mic: I wanted to surprise you! You might want to calm down and join me. You're being watched. And I still need that bottle.

Midoriya: It doesn't have alcohol.

Present Mic: Still got to check, Izuku.

Midoriya sits beside Present Mic and hands over his bottle. Present Mic sniffs the bottle before drinking the whole thing and YEETing it to the wall.

Midoriya:'re going to clean that up, right?

Present Mic: I'm surprised you're not crying over the loss of drink. It was good, by the way.

Midoriya: Don't worry, I'm crying internally!

Present Mic: I'll get Lunch Rush to make Katsudon if you do this with me.

Midoriya: Now?!

Present Mic: Later. Now -

Midoriya: Clean that up first, or I will bother you the whole time.

Present Mic: Fine.

After a commercial break, Midoriya is happily eating Katsudon.

Present Mic: Didn't you eat just a couple of hours ago?

Midoriya: Yes. I run on food, not sleep.

Present Mic: True. Can we get back on the show?

Midoriya: Yes.

Present Mic: Alright, then! Want to introduce yourself properly?


Present Mic: You are lucky you aren't on my show.

Midoriya: Technically speaking, this is my show, so I can say whatever I want.

Present Mic: Once again, true. Moving forward, time to explain what we are here for! If you have any ideas that you want us to, whether it be a scene, an AU of what would have happened, or questions for us (any character in the show) to answer comment, and we will do them!

Midoriya: Wait, why are we doing this?

Present Mic: After you and Nezu's last thing, UA is in deep debt. This was his idea of raising money.

Midoriya: Which thing?

Present Mic: The thing that you two made cost over a billion bucks somehow.

Midoriya: Can't we hack our way out of debt?

Present Mic: No, little listener! We have to do this legally!

Midoriya: It's only illegal if you get caught!


Midoriya: Fine! What he said, we will do it, whether it be destroying the world or killing Shouta!

Present Mic: WHAT, NO NO -!

At that moment, the 4th wall was repaired with Flex Seal.