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Refuge and a Gangster

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A month, a sold month is how long Szpilman had been staying in the Thorn household. It was quite pleasant, very nice and relaxing, and sometimes boring due to the large absence of a piano. Aside from that, he found several ways to occupy his time and help keep his mind steady and not all over. 

So he had made himself a procedural by the second week, which went as following{yes he wrote this all down}

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Monday-Don't do much, take it easy from the night before. Just wash up, do your own laundry, and practice English.

Tuesday-Sweep, just sweep and help Karl when he gets home, then go finish your prayers{we do this all the time, no one can stop us now!!}

Wednesday-dust, if there is anything to be dusted if not, then do the laundry to help Miss Ada, and make afternoon tea{why they have a special time for tea?? Also, miss Ada is off on this day normally:) } go shopping with Miss Ada too.

Thursday-mop, practic English{we do this every day at some point rember} later make dinner/help with dinner...take a nap these days due to being tired.

Friday-Therapy?? I'm not sure Miss Ada just told me to not do anything on Friday and relax in a bubble bath{She's very wealthy if she can afford all of this!} So do this and write in the book she gave me.{Its under the bible in the suitcase rember}

Saturday/Sunday- pray on Sunday, relax more on Saturday...tray and talk about horrific dreams and my faces and sores from my parallels. Use the things Miss Ada gave you and stop feeling like a burden Talk to someone, maybe go drink some tea, call that random number you found in Warsaw?{it's the only nice soldier we found out, the one who gave us the coat that we still have for some reason?? Move calls to Monday evening when alone so you can leave a message for him? No...yes? Maybe.}

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From a look at his list in the early mornings light that peaked through his curtains, he gave himself a weak smile. The only part that he liked about the list was the last part about the soldier and his coat...even if he dis meet the soldier again, he wouldn't give the coat back any time soon, it was far to warm and comfortable! One question did pop in his mind however...what was the soldier's name again? He knew what it sounded like and knew it but couldn't quite place the syllables or how to properly say it in his mind. *Knock**knock* a sudden light knocking had him doing one of two things, shoving the list under his pillow, and then sitting up in bed. "Yes??"

The door slowly creaked open revealing a fully dressed Ada with her handbag in hand and a sorrowful look in her eyes as she walks over to the bed. "Hey Szpilman, I'm sorry but I have to go to work every day now for the rest of the new month...I just took off Wednesdays last month to help you." Szpilman was shocked by her words, be wanted to say something but all he could do was nod his head. 

"Thatz fune Miss Ada, but errmmm....do we still need groceries?" He knew this was a dumb question but it didn't stop him from asking. "Yes I'm afraid that we do need just a few things, but Karl is at school and I'll be at work so...why don't you do it all by yourself today see how you do?" He began to give a pouted smile but agreed to do this anyway.

"I'm very proud of you, now be good and afterwords come home and relax my little Jewish boy." The way she called him her Jewish boy made his face go red and his lips turn upwards in a smile. He didn't have a crush on Miss Ada he just wasn't that use to affection anymore so what little he got made him act silly.

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"Otay! Let's see...what the hell do I wear." This was a true task to accomplish. Not that he didn't have clothes to wear, he had some...he just well, all of them had the patch sewed into the fabrics(if they didn't have the star the needed papers and yeah... no a star is easier.) So he had to dig for a few things but found a simple grey outfit and tossed it on. "What's my colour plait today... grey, just like my life...HA!" He began to lightly giggle at the very poor joke about how his life was meek and grey-toned, how there wasn't much colour in it anymore but there wasn't. 'I'm unsure of which is more concerning, my sense of humour, or my depleting mental state...' well at least he was self-aware of his depleting mental state. 

"Okey focuses, we must function as a member of society liiiii-AAAAHHHH!" A rather loud sound could be heard from down the street and it made Szpilman scream out in fear. "PIERDOLIĆ*!" His heart was racing and he felt very cold like all the life had been drained from his body and was suddenly shaky on his legs. "P-pierdolić...I must sit." His breaths had begun to come out in rushed uneven pants as he tried to calm himself down. He succeeded in distracting himself as he began to get dressed in a rushed manner, wanting both to be out on his own, but to also stay inside and not hear those sounds again. 

"O-otay...I have done the chores for today, and tea won't be an issue because I'm alone, yes alone...just like in Warsaw, no...yes...No! Nothing like Warsaw!" God he felt like crying, he looked like a mess. Yes, he was dressed and looked good and presentable, but even with fixing his hair back again he still looked like a mess. How? Well, he still had a bruise on his neck, and part of his lower left cheek that isn't hurt anymore but was aggravating as hell. And he had just had a crying session to himself from the noise he heard, and his eyes were now bloodshot.

"I'm fine! I'm fine, why must I cry at such silky things as noise and sound and oh dear god! I should've just stayed thier in fucking Warsaw!" The little voices in his head began to get overwhelming, he couldn't breath and was panicking from such silly things. The voices, when had they shown up? The panic, when did he not have it? The overwhelming dread and realization that his life should've ended back there in warsaw, how he should've joined his friends and family in the afterlife but instead chose to run away like a scared child. 

'I'm worthless, I can't keep living like this!' 

'Like what you have a good home and seem fine to me, what about your dear friends in Warsaw? Your a king compared to them!'

'NO, I'm NOT! I'm nothing but a burden on Miss Ada and little Karl...'

'Burden you are, maybe you should just go on with your life, leave her...I mean she missed so much work due to how week and panicky you are!'

'You jumped at a car backfiring, that's just sad and pathetic much like your life.'

'I'm not sad or pathetic! I'm a strong jew, I'll show you!'

'If your so strong you would've stayed to help your family not run away like a scared child begging for his dead mother...'

'Hey! Hey, Szpilman it's fine your gonna get through this just breath because if you don't your gonna suffocate and pass out!'

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"B-breath, how do I breath!?" Hitting his fist against the floor that he had slumped against as he tried to remember how to breathe. He soon somehow took in a deep cold breath into his lungs as he looked around the room. He was agents a wall by the dresser sitting on the floor and it was still mid-afternoon and the sun was shining brightly. "What did I need to do again? Oh..oh right shopping." He contemplated on evening stepping foot outside after what had happened today, the whole thing wasn't new to him, but damn did it make him tired and panicked. {Even if it wasn't new, this particular episode was very new, and quite hard on his mental state.}

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Going into public without protection was an awful idea. Not protection as in a gun, protection as in Miss Ada, without her to tell others to back off he was practically a sitting duck. But if he just keeps walking he would be fine, if he just ignored the odd looks he got from people he'd be fine. But he was actually fine, he had gotten everything except the loaves of bread, and had to go buy some...Champlain and wine?

"Pardon me, sir, I need two loaves of bread, one with dried fruits the other plain sir." the bakers was nice and calm, not much bustle and a very soothing atmosphere that pleased Szpilman greatly. And the Baker seemed more kind than the other people he had met, he was tall, had a beard and wore a scarf. "Well, not a problem mate! Say...your new aren't you?" 

"Em...yes sir, I come from Poland." "Poland! How the hell did you even get past Czechoslovakia?!" 

"I'm a talented man?" Szpilman said this in more of a confused tone more than confident, but nevertheless he was pleased to have met such a nice and understanding man. "Well alright, hey mate, keep outta trouble dangerous city London is...also that'll be 50 piece, on the house for a fella like yourself." The man gave Szpilman a wink as he handed him the now wrapped loaves. "Yes sir, will do sir an-gówno*..." he had dropped some of the change on the floor and was rather pissed about it. "Hey now leave it, the mice need to pay rent ya know." 

This odd comment made Szpilman chuckle loudly about what sorts of crazy things this man had also said to him during the afternoon. "Yes I suppose they do...well have a good evening sir, I'll be sure to come back soon." Szpilman gave the man a farewell, and the man gave his goodbyes as well. The bakery seemed normal, what Szpilman hadn't known was that the man was yes a Baker, but also while running a baker ran an entire still factory for rum and such things. 

"Onto the wine! Where the hell do I get that?" Szpilman said to himself quietly as he began to proudly walk down the streets.

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How did his life end up like this? How exactly did he wind up huddled in an alleyway having a panic attack? Simple he had just left fro. Getting wine, and had accidentally bumped into someone who was having a sample of what he assumed to be bourbon. While bumping into him the drink spilt and the man roughly, and loudly yelled at Szpilman. "You fucking idiot! Look you've ruined me best fookin suit!" The shock of the man's voice made him freeze and blankly stare at his fear. Yes, Szpilman was a bit taller than this man, but hight doesn't mean shit when you're scared out of your mind. "S-so sorry sir, I can perhaps just be on my way then?" Szpilman offered to the man, who must have been smarter than he looked. "Fucking Jewish aren't you? Came over here to take what little we have huh? Well, you have best get out of my sight before I tear you a new hole...or rip the one you have." 

Szpilman felt could feel tears pricking in the corners of his eyes as he practically ran out of the shop. He ran for some time before ducking into an alleyway and crying while hyperventilating some. The man was frightening yes, but he had triggered some awful memories from Warsaw. How something similar had happened, but how he hadn't gotten off so easily that time.

********

"An accident! You want me to believe this is a fucking accident you God damn Jewish bitch!" An SS soldier alongside some random Nazi had decided then would be a great time to trip Szpilman and make him fall into a General. He hadn't harmed the general, or anything. Just simply bumped into him and was now profoundly apologizing to him. Unfortunately, this man wasn't having any of poor Szpilman apologizes. "You damn Juden are the reason this country is up in practical flames!" Szpilman let out a gut-wrenching cry as another harsh kick landing in his stomach. His body was burning and he was so cold at the same time, cold yet burning. "I agree with him! You Juden are a problem, I wouldn't be here if it went for you!" The SS soldier joined in on the 'fun' as they called it. Kicking him, spitting on him, overall humiliation before forcing him to stand on wobbly feet. 

"Ah...such a shame, I'd love to have those lovely lips wrapped around something of mine...wouldn't you agree?" Please god let him die here or send him a miracle for he doesn't want to be alive or even concise if they do those things to him. "Yes I agree, but just look at his pretty face! Like a lady's face almost, much prettier than anything I've seen." Fuck no, please God no! "Please don't, please I didn't mean any trouble, just let me go please." The two men bang to laugh hysterically as the General suddenly through Szpilman down onto the ground. "I know you don't, be we do...we mean lots of trouble for you Juden." Another sharp kick to his lungs had him whizzing and silently crying.

"You two what are you doing!" A third voice made itself known to all three men and the SS soldier sudden ran off, he didn't get far due to a sudden gunshot ringing out through the air. "I said what are you doing." The general panic and began to speak in german as he soon quickly walked off. Szpilman prepared himself for the worst of it to come. "Hello, I know you're not alright, but are you able to walk?" Szpilman looked up to meet a captain and couldn't stop crying. The captain must have taken pity on him or something because he was kind enough to lead him back to Szpilman's home, and even gave him his own uniforms coat. "Mr Wladyslaw Szpilman, please be safe, not everyone is like me." The name of the man was....was...

*********

"Wilm Horsenfild...he gave me a coat...he was a kind man." He wasn't even sure what had happened, he was now facing the front door of Miss Ada's home, groceries in the basket and hand on the doorknob. "How did I get here? When did I start walking?" He wasn't sure, but he was however certain that it was now cold, and he needed warmth. 

《¤》

"Szpilman how was the trip?"

"It was well...not many people were nice though..."

"That's understandable, but I'm glad you didn't run into too much trouble."

'Go on, tell her about the panic attacks and the nice baker man!'

"The baker man is very nice, gave me a discount on account of me being from Poland...made horrible pins though." 

"Ah, you meet Alfie, he's a jew you know! But he's more Russian than anything" did she just say, Russian?

"I beg your pardon, Russian? He's far to kind to be Russian." Ada looked over at him for a few moments before opening her mouth to speak. "I was going to say something but then I realized that the Russians are in evolved in the war now..."

"Yeah..."

"Well aside from the bakery, did anything else happen today? Think of something neat to tell me?" Neat? Tell her?

'You blubbering fool, she means your past! Tell her you played the piano for a living...tell her about at last one dirty secret... how you loooovvvveee m-'

"I can play the piano, and did that for a living professionally back in Poland, even went on the radio, played at balls and banquets everything!" His eyes had grown wide and he said this all very fast and rather loud.

"Well...that's very lovely, but erm...are you alright when you said that you looked panicked." 

Shit, he wasn't expecting that. "Yeah...yeah just, thoughts are...bad today." 'Yeah really bad if you remember that damn german cabinet you thought was just soooooo hot.' 'Shut it, he was very attractive in my blinded eyes...and besides he was nice to me.'

While Szpilman was zoned out Ada had come over and placed a small kiss on the temple of his forehead, her having worn lipstick as per normal, left a mark on his head. "W-what? What was that for?" She smiled and ruffled his hair like she would with Karl or one of John's kids. "Its just something I do when kids are silly, and right now you're a silly kid." He was young but damnit he didn't need to be called a kid all the time he was 27! 

"Y-yeah just didn't know is oll..."

He wasn't sure if he could fully get used to this, maybe he could he couldn't but he would have to learn to deal with his mental state before going out again.