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Jiang Cheng Hates His Life

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Wei Wuxien was undressed down to only his inner robe, one long, slender leg showing in the gap from where he sat with his legs crossed at the dressing table when Lan Zhan got to their room. He stilled, hit with a wave of want that should have waned by now but never did. He had his hair tied up on top of his head, clearly having bathed, and a few inky tendrils fell down along his slender neck. He looked up at Lan Zhan when he walked in, a warm, loving smile morphing his face. “Lan Zhan,” he said, holding out his hand. “You’re home late.”

“Punishing Lan Jingyi,” he said simply and Wei Wuxien snickered.

“I’m corrupting your little Lans,” he teased. Lan Zhan walked to the hand held out for him and Wei Wuxien hugged him around his waist, looking up at him. “I was going to wait and bathe together but you missed out.”

“I don’t think I’m missing anything,” he replied, stroking a piece of hair from his husband’s eyes. “You look pretty with your hair up,” he said, and Wei Wuxien smirked.

“Pretty, you say? Lan Zhaaan,” he drawled, pouting at him. “You should call me handsome.”

“No. Pretty.” Lan Zhan took his hand and pulled him to his feet. Something about him half-dressed in his scarlet inner robes and nothing else was very alluring. Lan Zhan’s hands went to his narrow waist and pulled him in. Wei Wuxien tipped his head to the side and Lan Zhan groaned, mouth going instantly to his throat. “I want to make you mine,” he confessed, nuzzling his throat.

“I am yours,” Wei Wuxien sighed. “Mmmm, do it. I know you want to.”

Lan Zhan groaned. “Wei Ying,” he sighed before gently biting that pale, tantalizing throat exposed with no hair hanging over it. He didn’t bite hard, knowing marks like that would get them both in trouble in a visible spot, but the feeling of his teeth against his husband’s throat made him harden. Wei Wuxien whimpered, hands grasping his shoulders as he held him close.

“Lan Zhan, take me,” he begged, pressing into the grip of his teeth.

Lan Zhan gripped his waist tighter and simply said, “Jump,” and Wei Wuxien did what he wanted, jumping and, with his hold on his waist, wrapping his legs around him. He clung to his shoulders, smirking down at Lan Zhan’s face as he was carried to the bed. The robe fell off one shoulder, exposing one small, peaked nipple and Lan Zhan wasted no time biting it, making Wei Wuxien cry out and tremble as he was carried to the bed.

Lan Zhan sat down on the bed, placing Wei Wuxien in his lap, looking up at him with nothing but want in his eyes. “Like this,” he said, and Wei Wuxien smirked. He started to untie his belt but Lan Zhan stopped him. “Like. This.”

“Lan Zhan! You’re shameless,” he said, but leaned in to kiss him, grinding against the growing bulge beneath him. He slid back on Lan Zhan’s lap just long enough to pull Lan Zhan’s pants aside and expose his hard length. He moaned, licking his hand before wrapping it around him, stroking him. “God, you always look so good,” he said. He reached over and grabbed the oil off the floor by the bed and drizzled it over his cock and Lan Zhan almost melted at his touch when he smoothed it over him.

“Do you need anything?” Lan Zhan asked and when Wei Wuxien smirked Lan Zhan gave no time to prepare before lifting him up and dragging him down onto him, his cock splitting him open with no preparation, just how they both liked it sometimes, with a little pain.

“AHHH!” He arched, shouting as his ass was filled in one hard, fast thrust. “Oh, oh, oh,” he panted, whimpering and whining as he clenched around Lan Zhan’s cock. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He clenched a hand on Lan Zhan’s shoulder. “Okay maybe too much since we didn’t yesterday, Fuck.”

Lan Zhan rubbed his thighs soothingly under his open robe. “I’m sorry, Wei Ying.”

“No, no, it’s okay,” he said, leaning in to kiss Lan Zhan, holding his head in his hands. “It’s okay. You know I like it,” he said, breathing fast from the pain. “Just- just that hurt a little more than usual.”

“Do you need-“

“No!” Wei Wuxien wrapped his arms and legs around him stubbornly. “Don’t you dare pull it out,” he said, pouting at him. “Lan Zhaaaan. You’re my husband, you have to care for my needs, how could you even suggest stopping now?”

“Whatever you want, my Wei Ying,” he promised. Wei Wuxien smiled and leaned in to kiss him, slow and sweet, the kiss of one husband telling the other I love you without words.

“Good,” he said, then began to roll his hips, looking into Lan Zhan’s eyes as he did so. Lan Zhan clutched at his waist even tighter, guiding him. “Mmmmm, Lan Zhan,” he sighed, tipping his head back. “Always so good inside of me.”

“Wei Ying,” he warned, and Wei Wuxien grinned. “Don’t test me,” he threatened and Wei Ying’s ‘little shit’ grin got more dramatic.

“If only you would give me attention somewhere else,” he said, and Lan Zhan narrowed his eyes before leaning in and biting his nipple again. Wei Wuxien cried out, arching. “Yes!” He clutched at Lan Zhan’s hair, holding his head there so he couldn’t stop licking, sucking, and biting at his exposed nipple. “Don’t stop, nnnnng, Lan Zhan!” He panted, riding his husband as he left a bruise on his chest and his waist where his hands gripped him so tightly.

When he did pull away, he buried his face in Wei Wuxien’s throat, licking and sucking but not biting as hard to retain propriety. He used his grip on his husband’s hips to force him to ride him harder, eliciting the best sounds ever from him. He moaned, he cried out, he shuddered in his arms, all because of Lan Zhan. “I love you,” he breathed against his skin and Wei Wuxien almost wailed.

“Yes, yes, I love you, I love you so much. Fuck!” He planted his feet on the bed, bouncing harder, taking his pleasure from Lan Zhan. “Yes, yes, right there, oh yes!” He moaned openly, hanging onto Lan Zhan as his body gave every ounce of pleasure it could from the thick cock inside of him. “LAN ZH-“

Lan Zhan put his hand over Wei Wuxien’s mouth. “Shhhh. It’s past nine. Can’t be so loud,” he said, calm as ever even though he felt so much pleasure he could barely keep composure. He removed his hand and Wei Wuxien moaned, but kept his mouth clenched shut. “Good boy,” he praised, and his husband’s eyes dilated and he rode him harder, clearly turned on and seeking relief.

Even muffled, Wei Wuxien’s moans were audible and Lan Zhan took pride in it, biting down on his shoulder, groaning against his skin. They were both close, he could tell. His husband’s cock twitched against his belly and his own was throbbing, and he was so ready to come together when suddenly the front door, beyond their bedroom, was slammed open. They both stopped moving seconds before their bedroom door was also shoved aside.

There stood, to their mutual horror, Wei Wuxien’s brother.


Jieng Chang wasn’t sure why the fuck he’d been sent to Cloud Recesses to relay news of something strange going on in a lake near Lotus Pier. He was the clan leader. But when none of his disciples were willing to go there, apparently due to some rumor about the Yiling Patriarch, he was stuck with the task himself. When he arrived at the gates, they agreed to let him go meet Lan Xichen. Lan Xichen however was unavailable, so they sent him to go find Lan Wangji instead. As late as it was, he wouldn’t be shocked if Lan Wangji was in bed – what with their strict hours – but he didn’t give a damn. He’d flown so far and was so tired he was ready to just barge in and wake the bastard up. What he forgot, as he approached his house and just flung the door open, walking in with purpose, was that said bastard was married to his brother.

He did not think he would ever forget it again when, as he barged in, he found two frozen figures gaping at him, one being his brother sitting on his husband’s lap in nothing more than his inner robes, half falling off his shoulders, and the other being Hanguang-Jun himself, staring with wide eyes over his husband’s bare shoulder, and, going by the way Wei Wuxien’s bare thighs were visible on either side of his husband, they were ‘busy’ when he walked in.

“Jiang Chang!” Wuxien gasped, then squeaked and hid his face in his husband’s neck. “This isn’t happening, this isn’t happening, this isn’t happening,” he chanted, and Jiang Cheng’s face flushed.

Shockingly but not unexpectedly, Lan Wangji’s face went blank and he stared at him, though his ears were red, and simply said, “Wait outside,” before tugging his husband’s robes back to cover him.

Jiang Chang spluttered incoherently then turned and all but ran, fighting the urge to vomit over what he had just come across.



“We’re married. He is my husband.”


“It was after curfew, married couples can do what they want after curfew.”

“If you think for a second I think you have been married before you deflowered my brother-“

“Jiang Chang, we are married-“

“You have been trying to fuck my brother since we were fifteen!”

“We are married-“

“I can’t believe you swayed my brother from loyalty to his clan over loyalty to the Lans, where he can’t be happy-“

“Fuck you, I AM happy-“

“We’re married, so this is nothing-“

There was a throat cleared and they all turned, paling when they saw Lan Qiren. “What is happening here?” he asked, looking them over.

Jiang Cheng spoke up. “I suppose that Lan Wangji took my brother’s innocence BEFORE they eloped, and I won’t stand for it!” he declared and Wei Wuxien gaped.

“What?! Since when do you care either way?! You disowned me as your brother!” he declared.

Jiang Chen hesitated but then spoke. “The Jiang clan formally acknowledges that Wei Wuxien is one of us,” he declared. “And we challenge that Lan Wangji deflowered my brother BEFORE their wedding!”

“This is bullshit,” Wei Wuxien said bluntly. “What the fuck do you think he did, give me a bastard to raise? I’m a man, he’s a man, without pregnancy there’s no proof to provide whether or not I was ‘deflowered’ before I married him!”

“I fucking know he did,” Jiang Cheng declared. “He’s been trying to fuck you since you were fifteen years old, there is no way he waited until you were married to him-“

“What the hell, he was not trying to fuck me when I was fifteen-“

“He SO was, did you not SEE how he looks at you-“

“Well yeah, we’re married-“

“Back then, when we were all just kids-“

“Lan Zhan had a crush on Mian Mian not me-“

“I married a moron.”

They all went silent and Wei Wuxien and Jiang Cheng looked at Lan Zhan with wide eyes. “What the hell?” Wei Wuxien asked, pouting. “Lan Zhan, that’s mean.”

Lan Qiren sighed. “Trust me, Wei Wuxien, my nephew absolutely did not have a crush on a girl you absolute imbecile. My nephew hasn’t had eyes for a woman in his entire life. And yes, Jiang Cheng is right, he absolutely had a crush on you when you were fifteen.”

“Ha!” Jiang Cheng said. “And I bet he did a lot more than just look, too, didn’t you, Lan Wangji?! I knew that night you were both missing all night, I knew you had take him somewhere and had your way with him-“

“Jiang Cheng you’re just angry you walked in on a married couple doing married things!” Wei Wuxien argued, glaring at him. “You’re just mad because you’ve grown up to be a mean, hateful man who no woman would ever touch and I’ve got a husband to do married things with!”

“Fuck you, Brother-“

“So suddenly I’m your brother again because you can’t stand the thought of Lan Zhan fucking me-“

“Enough!” Lan Qiren looked near vomiting. “Jiang Cheng, as you are his only family, you are allowed to share your concerns that my nephew may have committed an impropriety towards your brother. However, as they have been married for a while now, it would seem that if he did, he has taken responsibility and therefore I cannot allow a dual over Wei Wuxien’s innocence.”

“Oh come on, you want to dual him? You’re the one who wanted me dead all those years ago!” Wei Wuxien said, glaring at him. “Why do you even care that Lan Zhan fucked me long before we were married-“ He slapped a hand over his mouth, going wide-eyed.

“I KNEW IT!” Jiang Cheng said, glaring at Lan Zhan. “If I run into you outside of Cloud Recesses I will absolutely beat you senseless for that!”

Lan Zhan actually rolled his eyes and Wei Wuxien smiled proudly at him. “Fine.”

“Lan Zhaaan!” Wei Wuxien tugged his arm excitedly. “I’m teaching you so well! I’m going to corrupt you just as badly as I corrupt the Little Lans!”

Lan Qiren sighed. “I curse the day that you darkened Cloud Recesses with your presence, Wei Wuxien,” he said, then nodded to Jiang Cheng. “Come with me. We will discuss whatever you came here for.”

Wei Wuxien stuck his tongue out at his brother as he glared and passed and then flung his arms around his husband. “I’m so proud of you and I absolutely intend to make good on what my brother interrupted when we get home.”

Jiang Cheng wondered if he should just kill himself and end it all now rather than kill Lan Zhan.