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Something I Can Never Have.

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It's sudden, the blast of heat burning against his flesh. The sound of the bridge going, it's all falling around him and all he can do is take her hand in his.

Slender fingers lacing with hers, like they had so many times before. He hasn't touched her sense that last time. Hasn't felt her since Grady but, somehow, she feels realer now than she'd ever felt.

He knows he doesn't belong here. Knows after all he's done, he belongs burning forever. Paid back for everything he did in his life. But, it'd always been worth it.

Least that's what he told himself. Always had. He can feel her tugging him, blue eyes slowly following the small, fragile form moving against the shadows all around them.

He can barely see, all he can do is feel, and hear the still silence. Hear the shallow of his breath and the icy cool of her hand within his own.

"Beth, where are you taking me?"

His voice is hoarse, raspy sounding rougher than he remembered. But she remains silent.


She pulls at him again, and he stops hand grasping hers and yanking at her. Boots scuffing for a moment as he feels something inside, but he ignores it.

"Answer me!"

His hand grips into hers, yanking her to him, and he can feel her, feel her body against his own. Her fingers touching his chest. Touching where the wound had been mere moments ago.

His hand cupping the nape of her neck, lips ghosting her cheek lost in the sensation of the feel of her skin against his own again. It's something he'd forgotten how much he missed. Blonde curls twisted in his fingers as his mouth closes over hers.

Something wild, feral, hungry, taking control of him as Rick feels every old sensation seeming to return in one single action. He doesn't feel the creeks as he'd gotten older, the pains or the guilts all he feels like himself again.

So fucking selfish.

His breath catches in his throat feeling her hand grip his hardening cock through his jeans. Cool slender fingers teasing, touching, tracing. Hand falling from hers as he rips at her clothes.

You make it all go away.

Hands touching her, feeling soft skin and fragile bones beneath his touch. She's thinner than he remembered, more fragile than he remembered as he looks at her for the first time.

Bloody, bruised, bones sticking through flesh draped onto her and he steps back. She looks dead...she looks like a monster but, she isn't the monster.

He feels the wound pooling again, shirt sticking to him he doesn't need to look. He knows what's happening to him, knows exactly why this is happening to him before its dark.

Blue eyes flutter open slowly, blinded by the sudden flash of light as he looks around.


Jadis looks confused for a moment, hand resting on his chest as she looks at him.

"You're gonna be okay."

He doesn't say another word, just looks away from her blue eyes watching the world below searching for her face.

Something I can never have.