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I feel so alone

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A day, a whole day has been spent by Kellin clinging to his phone and paying minimal attention to Oliver. Not all the time, it wasn’t all obsession, but overnight it apparently got worse as when Oliver woke up, Kellin was already awake and sitting up staring at his phone.

Oliver sits up next to Kellin in bed and rubs his eyes, he was planning to sleep in, but Kellin’s phone screen is too bright and it’s bugging him. “What’s your problem?”

Kellin doesn’t respond.

Oliver groans. “What’s so important that you can’t even answer me?”

Kellin stays fixated on his phone.

Oliver nudges Kellin’s arm. “What are you doing that’s so engrossing you can’t even pay attention to me for five seconds?”

“It’s just Twitter.” Kellin responds.

“How can ‘just Twitter’ be that exciting for two goddamned days in a row?” Oliver questions.

“A lot goes on.” Kellin says, unhelpfully.

“Five minutes on that place is too much for me.” Oliver says.

“I’ve noticed, it sometimes takes you days to respond to my DMs on there.”

“I’ve told you numerous times, if you wanna tell me something important, just text me. Or email. Or call. Social media is hell.”

“It’s like the wild west, it’s an untamed wilderness full of good, bad, and crazy.” Kellin remarks.

“And that’s exactly why I avoid it. I’d rather not be indirectly, and directly, told to kill myself every five minutes.” Oliver says. “The only people there that are worth talking to exist elsewhere.”

“You don’t even follow anybody. Not even me.” Kellin says.

“Why would I follow you, people think we hate each other, following you as the only person would be suspicious and weird.” Oliver explains.

“Why do you assume people would think that? I follow tons of people and no one thinks it’s weird.”

“That’s it, you follow TONS of people, hard for anyone to make connections when you follow both the guy from Blessthefall, along with some random fangirl in Sweden.”

“C’mon, we have one single playful debate a couple years ago and you get all paranoid ever since.”

“Paranoid? You’ve seen some of the shit people make up about us being a thing.” Oliver remarks. “It’s scary.”

“They’re right though.” Kellin says.

“Fans have been making gay theories about me since I was 18 and now they’re convinced I’m in love with someone like you.”

“Again, all correct. I wouldn’t be sitting here next to you in your bed if all of that was lies.”

“Yeah but I don’t want anyone else knowing about this. It would tank my reputation.”

“What makes you think that? You’ve told me that everything you do tanks your reputation. Do you even have any left?”

Oliver crosses his arms and glares at Kellin in anger.

Kellin frowns. “Sorry.” His focus turns back to his phone.

Oliver groans loudly, trying to catch Kellin’s attention again. No response. Damnit. The conversation about social media being hell wasn’t very interesting, but it was SOMETHING. He turns away from Kellin and stares at a random point on the wall. “You know your phone is gonna die at some point and you won’t be able to charge it.”

“Oh I thought ahead, I brought a charger of mine with me as I know you wouldn’t have one that’s compatible.” Kellin remarks.

“Damnit.” Oliver complains. Why does Kellin have to use his brain during the few times he shouldn’t. He sighs and lies back in bed and pulls out his phone, he needs something to do or he’ll lose his mind. Not having anything to do just makes him irritable. More than usual anyway.

He flips through his apps, of which he doesn’t have a ton of. He keeps deleting stuff because he loses interest in them. The only things he keeps around are essential or eternal likes. He taps on Sonic 2 and plays through Emerald Hill for perhaps the 500th time in his life. It doesn’t keep his interest for very long, however, and he closes the app and opens Instagram instead Unfortunately, that also loses his interest within minutes.

How does Kellin do it, he wonders, how can he focus so strongly on some stupid website for two days. Oliver wonders if it’s just his own ADHD making him struggle to care for very long about one particular life distraction. He continues tapping on random apps, spending a few minutes on them, and moving onto the next one until he ends up tapping on Twitter.

He looks at Kellin’s account just to see what he’s been up to, and as he expected, not much, just saying a lot of stupid shit, and shows no signs of slowing down. Oliver wishes he could just find a way to distract him his own distraction, but talking to him, nudging him, and cursing at him doesn’t appear to be working anymore.

After staring at Twitter’s various buttons for a few minutes, Oliver gets an idea that might just work. He logs out and creates a new account, gives it the @ of ‘SirenzLover94’ to seem generic and innocent enough, and sends Kellin a DM using it.

@SirenzLover94
hey

Kellin notices a new notification and opens it with a smile.

@KellinQuinn
Hey! :)

Oliver thinks about what to respond with.

@SirenzLover94
im a big fan of your band
have been for years

@KellinQuinn
Thank you, and I’m glad to hear that! :)

Oliver stares blankly at his phone at a loss of a response. He glances over to Kellin, who is still fixated squarely on his phone. “What are you doing?”

“Talking to a fan~” Kellin responds in a happy tone.

“I’m a fan, why not talk to me?” Oliver says.

“But you’ve told me you hated my music.”

“No, I hate you singing at 3 in the morning.”

“Still.” Kellin’s focus drifts back to his phone.

Oliver groans. He sends a frustrated DM back.

@SirenzLover94
your a fag

@KellinQuinn
:(?

Oliver glances over at Kellin again, his smile has faded, but he’s still looking at his phone.

@SirenzLover94
massive fag
why dont you go eat a dick
faggot

@KellinQuinn
Is something bothering you?

Oliver glares at his phone. Why is Kellin trying to talk to this insulting persona. If he had half the brain he did, he’d just block it already and move on.

@SirenzLover94
yeah
your face

@KellinQuinn
What did I do wrong?

@SirenzLover94
be born

Oliver hears kellin audibly sigh. “What is it?”

“Oh, I mean, I thought they were a fan, but now they’re harassing me...” Kellin says.

“Just block ‘em, seriously. Not worth your time. But I’m worth your time.” Oliver says.

“Oh it’s okay, maybe they’re just upset.” Kellin says. “A bad day perhaps, it’s fine.”

Oliver rolls his eyes. “I don’t get you. Don’t give trolls the time of day.”

“You don’t know that it’s a troll, maybe they have a legitimate reason for being upset.”

“And maybe you have a legitimate reason for being a dumbass.” Oliver remarks.

“I’m just giving them the benefit of the doubt...” Kellin says in a sad tone.

“Sorry…” Oliver says. The conversation ends there, so he goes back to sending DMs.

@SirenzLover94
are you still there?

@KellinQuinn
Yeah
What’s up?

@SirenzLover94
you shouldnt be

@KellinQuinn
What?

@SirenzLover94
your music is shit

@KellinQuinn
You didn’t say that earlier

@SirenzLover94
i lied to get on your good side
idiot

@KellinQuinn
:(

“I’m hungry.” Oliver says. He’s actually not, but… “You want anything?” He glances to Kellin and sees him shake his head. Oliver gets up and watches Kellin continue to stare at his phone instead of him. He sighs and leaves the room with his own phone to his side. Once he gets downstairs to the kitchen, he leans against the counter and sends Kellin more DMs, now that he doesn’t need to look inconspicuous.

@SirenzLover94
everything that comes out of your mouth is worthless
everything you do is worthless
everything about you is worthless
@KellinQuinn
Oh that’s not true, I’m sure there’s something about me that you enjoy. :)

Oliver is baffled that Kellin is not only talking to a troll, but being NICE to it. He’s either braindead or on another level of genius. It has him stumped on a response and ends up leading him into wandering around the kitchen staring blankly at his phone.

@KellinQuinn
Are you still there?

He is braindead. Why does he care about a troll?

@SirenzLover94
what does it matter
why do you care about me

@KellinQuinn
You don’t seem as bad as you’re acting. Maybe you just had a bad day?

@SirenzLover94
are you dense?

@KellinQuinn
I’m not always great at noticing things, no.

@SirenzLover94
can you notice that i hate you?

@KellinQuinn
Why do you hate me tho?

Oliver has to stop and think about a response to that as he never thought Kellin would confront this persona of his.

@SirenzLover94
i dont know

@KellinQuinn
Aww, I’m sure you really don’t. :)

Oliver feels at a loss. He doesn’t understand Kellin. He walks back upstairs to his room. “Did you block the troll yet?”

“Huh?” Kellin responds, looking up from his phone to Oliver. “No.”

“Damnit.” Oliver says.

“I thought you were getting food?”

“Oh, uhh, I did, I was just so hungry I ate it before coming back upstairs.”

“What did you eat?”

“I-I- Food.” Oliver lies badly.

“Oh, okay.” Kellin looks back down to his phone.

Oliver groans. He glares down at his own phone and sends an angry DM.

@SirenzLover94
cunt

@KellinQuinn
:/

Oliver doesn’t feel like sitting back down and being ignored, so he plays the guise of being busy by rooting through clothes in his closet. In between aimlessly looking through shirts, he sends Kellin random insult DMs while ignoring his kindhearted responses. It’s hopeless, he’s not gonna give up and just block this persona and give him attention. “Goddamnit.”

“Hmm?” Kellin questions.

Oliver pulls a shirt out of the closet and throws it at Kellin. “My brother put this in here.”

Kellin watches the shirt land on the bed next to him. It has dinosaurs on it. “How can you tell?”

“I made him wear it in a photo once.” Oliver says.

“Okay?”

Oliver groans. He’s lying about the shirt, he just wants Kellin to pay attention to him. But his attempt was a failure as Kellin is staring at his phone again. In frustration, he sends more DMs to him, while not looking at his phone very closely.

@SirenzLover94
cdfutytn
fgiti
dudnbdfad

@KellinQuinn
?

Oliver looks at his phone.

@SirenzLover94
fuck you

@KellinQuinn
:s

Oliver tosses the shirt on the floor and sits on the bed, laying back on his pillow and glaring at the ceiling. If Kellin hasn’t blocked him by now, will he ever? Why is he still trying. Maybe he should try a different approach.

@SirenzLover94
actually
you know what

@KellinQuinn
?

@SirenzLover94
your kinda cute

@KellinQuinn
Uhh, thanks? :)

@SirenzLover94
you should
send me a picture

Oliver hears Kellin make an audibly confused hum. After a minute of silence, his persona receives a DM selfie that he saw last week. Clearly Kellin at least isn’t stupid enough to take a new photo for a random twitter troll.

@KellinQuinn
Like that?

@SirenzLover94
yeah
mmm
more

@KellinQuinn

Oliver gets a few more random old photos from Kellin. He’s not even trying to pretend these aren’t old, his hair is different in each one.

@SirenzLover94
<333

@KellinQuinn
I’m confused.
Why did you insult me for so long, only to turn around on me?

@SirenzLover94
i was afraid to share my crush on you

@KellinQuinn
Crush?
O_O;

@SirenzLover94
yes
ive had it for awhile now

@KellinQuinn

Kellin sighs in an exasperated tone.

“Did you block them yet?” Oliver asks.

“They’re not being mean anymore.” Kellin says.

“They’re probably just trying to win your affection so they can turn on you.”

“You’re overthinking a random Twitter user.”

“No, you’re being apologetic to a troll and giving them attention over your real life boyfriend.” Oliver remarks in frustration. Kellin’s focus is, again, on his phone and not him.

@SirenzLover94
bitch

@KellinQuinn
?

@SirenzLover94
send nudes

@KellinQuinn

@SirenzLover94
i promise i wont share them

@KellinQuinn

@SirenzLover94
please

Oliver watches Kellin make confused faces at his phone. At least he seems to be questioning it finally.

@KellinQuinn
No
Sorry

@SirenzLover94
why not

@KellinQuinn
I’m not comfortable with that

@SirenzLover94
do it
bitch

Oliver waits for Kellin to either respond or give up, but he just stares blankly at his phone doing neither. He sighs loudly to try and get his attention, but it doesn’t work. He shoves his phone in his pocket and gets up from the bed. There’s only so much sitting still doing nothing he can take.

“What are you doing?” Kellin asks.

Oliver groans. NOW Kellin pays him any mind? “I gotta piss.” He lies.

“Oh, okay.” Kellin stares back down at his phone.

Oliver leaves the room with a not so subtle slam to the door. He locks himself into the bathroom and glares at himself in the mirror. How can he hope to get Kellin to pay attention to him when trolling him all day isn’t even getting him to stop? He pulls his phone out of his pocket and sends a DM.

@SirenzLover94
ill do it first

@KellinQuinn
?

Oliver opens the camera app on his phone. Desperate times call for desperate measures. He unzips the fly on his jeans and pulls out his dick. Not very impressive yet so he forces himself to get at least somewhat hard, then he takes a few pictures while holding the phone out in front of him. If Kellin isn’t smart enough to recognize his cock he’ll really be a dumbass.

Oliver closes the camera app, along with his jeans, but he doesn’t send any DMs yet. He exits the bathroom and goes back to his room. “You block them yet?”

Kellin shakes his head.

Oliver groans. He sits back on the bed and pulls his phone out to his side to keep it somewhat hidden.

@SirenzLover94
make it fair
i show you mine
you show me yours

@KellinQuinn

Oliver DMs the first dick pic he took that looks good, which is the third one he took out of a dozen.

Near-instantly, Kellin appears noticeably shocked. He feels like he should speak up, an unsolicited dick pic from a stranger that’s ben fucking with him all day, but something feels off about this. It feels familiar. He looks closely at the shirt in the photo, didn’t he see that...earlier…?

“You’re giving your phone a weird glare.” Oliver remarks.

Kellin turns to look at Oliver, his eyes dart down to Oliver’s shirt and then back over to his phone screen.

Oliver sends one more photo DM while Kellin isn’t looking.

Kellin scrolls down to the new DM photo...and it’s of Oliver holding out a middle finger. He can’t see his face but it’s clear from the tattoos who it is. He turns to look at Oliver next to him, who is smirking. “You!”

“Me.” Oliver responds.

“That was you?!” Kellin exclaims in surprise and confusion..

“It took until I showed you my cock for you figure that out?” Oliver questions.

“How was I supposed to know otherwise?!”

“You weren't, but you should have stopped responding way sooner. It’s not very good to respond to trolls.” Oliver explains. “It’s also not very good to ignore your boyfriend.”

Kellin looks down at his phone and frowns. “You’re right…” He turns off his phone and hands it to Oliver. “Here, take this and put it elsewhere.”

Oliver takes the phone and sets it aside on the bedside stand. “I know I’m right.”

Kellin leers at Oliver. “You didn’t need to keep insulting me so much though.”

“Wasn’t me, that was ‘SirenzLover94’.” Oliver grins. “I would never do that.”

Kellin playfully hits Oliver on the arm and then hugs him. “I’m sorry I was too addicted to my phone to pay attention to you to the point where you went out of your way to try and get me to stop.”

“Being direct wasn’t working so I had to be indirect. At least you stopped when I showed you my dick.” Oliver says.

“Speaking of...how about you let me suck it~?” Kellin asks, reaching his arm for Oliver’s crotch.

Oliver grabs Kellin’s arm and shoves him off of him with his other arm. “Fuck no.”

“Aww, why not~?” Kellin asks.

“Not in the mood. Been waiting all goddamned day just to be able to talk to you, sex can come later.” Oliver says.

“Okay, that’s fair.” Kellin resumes hugging Oliver.

Oliver hugs Kellin back. “I love you Kellin, you know that right?”

“Of course, Oli, I love you too~” Kellin kisses his cheek.

Oliver smiles.

“So what do you wanna do together?” Kellin asks.

“Troll people on Twitter.”

“Seriously?”

“Mate I’ve been trolling you all day, you’d think you’d catch on by now when I’m serious or not.” Oliver says.

“I’m not good at detecting sarcasm.” Kellin says.

“Maybe that’s what we can do together.”

“Huh?”

“I teach you how to detect sarcasm.”

“Can we just cuddle instead?” Kellin asks.

“I was starting to think you’d never ask.” Oliver squeezes Kellin in a tight hug and lies down holding him.

Kellin squeezes back. “Sorry I wasted so much time.”

“It’s okay, just don’t dwell on it.” Oliver kisses Kellin’s cheek.

“Alright.” Kellin smiles.

Oliver sighs contently. At least, all the frustration and loneliness is over.