There's a limit to everything.
Ever since Pedro was a child, he knew that. There was a limit to how much candy he could take from the free candy bowl in the doctor's office, there was a limit to how late he could stay outside to play with friends, there was a limit to how much he could say to his parents when he was angry. And though he grew up, it still applied to pretty much everything he knew.
There is a limit to everything.
And Shouyou's stay in Brazil has a limit.
"I'm only staying here for two years and then I have to go back to Japan!" Shouyou told him one day while they were out eating at a cheap restaurant that was surprisingly good.
At that time, Pedro merely nodded and asked him a bit more about his life back in Japan. But now, he's on his bed, looking at the ceiling, clinging on his pillow tight. If he's quiet enough, he might be able to hear Shouyou snoring in his room.
Pedro's hands' grip on his pillow tightens and he finally concedes, he won't be getting much sleep tonight. With a sigh, he sits up and rubs his face before slowly standing up to leave his bedroom.
Careful not to make a sound, Pedro goes to the kitchen while wondering if they have any food stashed away somewhere. A quick check of the refrigerator reveals that there isn't really any food left, save for a half empty milk carton and leftovers that should really be thrown out already.
I guess I can go to the convenience store . The fresh air will probably help me out. Pedro thinks.
After putting on a shirt more suitable for going outside, he slips his shoes on and leaves the apartment, hoping Shouyou won't notice.
It's bad for my heart if I see him. Pedro can imagine a drowsy Shouyou with his hair sticking up in different directions asking him where he's going while he stutters and makes a fool of himself in front of the Japanese man.
The trip to the convenience store is short, only ten minutes away from his apartment building. As he walks to his destination, his mind drifts to the orange haired volleyball player. A blush makes his way to his cheeks and his hands start to sweat, despite the cold breeze.
"Just ask him out, dude! It's like, easy," his best friend, Alejandro told him, rolling his eyes. "And if you get rejected, that's fine too. Move on."
Pedro grumbled and looked away. "And what if he says yes? That's even worse," he said. "We won't have too much time together. Besides, I'm fine the way we are."
It's obviously a lie. The way they are now, it's too lacking for Pedro. The touches Shouyou bestows on him are just friendly; his smiles, however bright are not full of the same affection Pedro gives him; the stories and thoughts he shares with him are not complete; his intentions fall short of what he really wants. But who can he blame but himself? He does the same to Shouyou because to completely let his guard down with his roommate might lead to something that he'd regret.
When Pedro gets to the convenience store, he doesn't wander around anymore and just carries himself to the instant noodles section where he picks whatever he thinks might sate his hunger- and whatever is the cheapest; he is a college student after all.
He pays for his food at the cashier who looks like she'd rather be at home sleeping than be taking the midnight shift. After Pedro thanks her, he turns around and when he does, the doors slide open and standing there is his worst dream brought to life.
His cheeks are flushed, maybe from running and his hair is messier than usual. And when his golden brown eyes land on him, a smile blossoms on his face while something in Pedro's chest unfurls.
It's a fucking nightmare.
"Pedro! You hungry too?" Shouyou goes beside him and peers into the plastic bag where his instant noodles are in. The proximity of their bodies make Pedro's cheeks burn and he has to take a step back before Shouyou notices.
"Uh, yeah. You too?" Pedro asks from a safe distance.
"Yeah! But I was gonna get a sandwich because it's... healthier," Shouyou explains slowly as he walks towards the frozen sandwiches aisle. His Portuguese is getting better but it still takes him some time before he can fully construct sentences. "Ukai-sensei taught me diets and stuff."
Pedro nods. He's heard about Shouyou's high school team, Karasuno and he knows that Shouyou was good at playing indoor volleyball. And it shows with the way Shouyou's eyes sparkle when he talks about volleyball and everything else that encompasses it. Pedro knows little to nothing about volleyball- especially indoor volleyball, but the way Shouyou talks about it, he feels like he could listen all day to him.
Shouyou finds a suitable sandwich and pays the cashier, all bright and sunny and Pedro knows that the cashier is attracted to him by the way she smiles and thanks him as she hands him his change with lingering fingers that aren't subtle enough.
Pedro's a bit jealous of her.
When they leave the convenience store together, they walk slowly and Pedro savours the way their shoulders bump when they walk too close to each other and the way they lock eyes and smile in apology.
"Pedro, are you tired?" Shouyou suddenly asks just as they reach the street heading to their apartment.
For a while, Pedro thinks about it. He is tired. He's tired of pretending that his feelings for Shouyou are completely platonic; he's tired of wasting hours just thinking about Shouyou; he's tired of not being able to tell Shouyou that he likes him.
"I'm not. Why?" Pedro replies to him.
"Wanna walk around? I feel like I won't be able to go back to sleep if we go back now." Shouyou says this in straight Japanese and Pedro likes the way it sounds in his ears. It feels more natural and it's less awkward and something more befitting for Shouyou.
"Okay," Pedro replies back in Japanese because he can without making a fool of himself and so they set off together to who knows where.
They walk in silence at first but Shouyou fills in the gaps with small talk and questions and stories while Pedro answers those questions and listens on to his stories.
Shouyou looks at him and then takes the plastic bag away from his hand, his fingers manipulating his so that he can let go of the bag.
"Let me carry that. I made you walk with me anyways," Shouyou says.
Pedro's mouth feels dry but he manages to nod and carries his jelly filled legs.
"I'm going to miss Brazil when I leave," Shouyou announces as they reach an area where the lights are all off and all Pedro can see is the faint outline of a curb and the stars and the moon shining above them. They sit down on the curb and Hinata takes out a bottle of juice from his plastic bag and hands another to Pedro which he gladly takes.
"There are some things I don't like but I like it here. I learned Portuguese, I got to play beach volleyball here and I was able to meet a lot of new people! Like you, Pedro." Shouyou's face turns serious and Pedro feels like he might actually shrivel up and die under Shouyou's intense gaze.
"Yeah, I'm really glad to meet you. If I didn't have other obligations, maybe I'd stay here,"
Pedro desperately wants to block out the rest of his sentence but his heart also longs to hear it from Shouyou.
Pedro isn't stupid. He's incredibly smart. Just a bit lazy and maybe, a bit aloof, but he knows how to read social cues and he does know what it's like to get a confession. But he's indecisive and he's not sure if what Shouyou said should be counted as a romantic confession, no matter how stupidly romantic it sounds.
And he's scared. He doesn't know Shouyou that well to determine if he's gay or bi or pan or something. Maybe he's just being a mushy friend and he's just blabbering away with words he doesn't know could mean so much to Pedro. He's not sure. He doesn't know.
So he chooses the safest and most damning thing to say to Shouyou.
"But you're leaving," Pedro's heart hurts when he says it and maybe it hurts Shouyou too. But he doesn't know because he didn't look at him when he said it because he's a coward.
"Ah. Yeah. I am. But still," Pedro finally looks at Shouyou who still looks beautiful under the moon's dim lights. "I'm glad I got to meet you."
The day Shouyou leaves, Pedro cries like a baby.
He's going to call Alejandro and they'll go out and drink all night and talk and Alejandro will stay over because Pedro is a terrible drunk who gets a nasty hangover because he is a good friend.
But for now, Pedro's eyes are puffy and red and he feels like shit but he still won't stop crying because Shouyou is leaving Brazil and that means he won't be able to see him anymore.
As they say goodbyes, Pedro makes promises to Shouyou he knows he will keep because while secrets are for the moon to keep, promises made with the sun is made to keep. And he thanks him repeatedly for whatever comes into his mind except for being his friend because he will not thank him for that.
And he does this all while shaking his hand and between all the sadness and tears, he thinks that Shouyou's hands are calloused and warm and maybe it makes him cry a bit more because damn it, he wanted to know that sooner.
When they let go, Hinata pulls him in for a hug and Pedro cries harder but quiets down because Shouyou is warm and a source of comfort, even if he is a source of pain as well.
"I'll come back to Brazil one day, okay? I promise." Shouyou whispers and Pedro nods because he believes him.
And finally, their time runs out and Shouyou steps away. Pedro falls back and waits for Shouyou to finish the rest of his goodbyes with the people he's grown to care for during his stay in Brazil.
And when he walks away, Shouyou stops for one moment and turns back with a smile on his face. Not the one Pedro's used to seeing; it holds more meaning and Pedro knows that smile is for him because Shouyou is looking at him and him only.
There's a limit to everything and maybe, just maybe, there's a limit to how long he'll be separated from Shouyou.