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5 Times Margo Was A Romantic Bitch

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                    1. When she told off the Knowledge Welters Captain 



Margo was impressed with how skilful Julia was at Welters, but she was mostly pissed that this talent was not something she could use to her advantage. When after a particular incident (that she was proud of even if Julia was embarrassed by) that involved Julia’s bed smashing through the floor and destroying four filled bookshelves during a rather intense orgasm. This led to Julia being kicked out of the attic. 

Quentin was spending more time in Alice’s bed than his own so he told Julia to just move into his room. This was no issue if anything it was better for Margo because now she didn’t have to go near the library.  

Then it came time for Welters.

Margo was lounging on the couch having drinks with Eliot when Julia stormed in through the door slamming it behind her. It seemed like she was upset when she didn’t even glance at Margo. Julia was halfway up the stairs when the door opened again this time for Quentin who looked like he had gotten hit with the door when Julia slammed it. Margo waited until Julia was out of earshot before she called Quentin over (sure he was halfway up the stairs himself).

“You know what’s going on with her?” Margo’s tone was her usual I don’t give a shit but this seems like it could be amusing. 

“Yeah, she’s upset.” Quentin rolled his eyes at her. “Some stuff went down with the Knowledge Welters team.” 

“Well go make sure she’s okay then maybe she can stop you being so fucking terrible!” Margo watched Quentin race up the stairs. 

“You know you can go see if she’s okay Bambi.” Eliot pointed out. 

“That is some girlfriend shit.”

“And her sleeping with you in your bed every night for the four months she’s lived here isn’t?” 

“It’s not every night, besides I feel guilty if I literally wear her out to wake her up and tell her to hit the road.”

“You went to the library for her.” 

“Only if we were closer because she won’t fuck in public and I don’t like waiting.” Margo finished off her wine before holding the glass in Eliot’s face. “Refill.”

“Maybe she was kicked off the team?” Eliot suggested. 

“They’d have to be idiots...but if she’s free for the taking we’d be guaranteed to win.” 

“I could never play again.” Eliot smiled. 

“No, she’d be replacing Q.” 

“So close.” Eliot sighed watching Margo stand up. “Where are you going?” 

“To talk to the nerd captain!” Margo stormed out of the cottage and Eliot was tempted to point out this was another time Margo went to her most hated building for Julia, this time without Julia asking her too. 

Margo was glad to see Eli the ginger four-eyed loser outside of the library. 

“Hey you Wesley-reject-D&D-worshipping-dickhead!” She called out enjoying how the older Welter’s captain jumped at her shout. 

“Margo! What are you doing here I thought you had an allergy to books?”

“Haha, heard some drama went down at your meeting.” 

“The fact that you heard the drama is why she isn’t on the team. I don’t trust you not try and manipulate the fact that your girlfriend is on another Welters team.” 

“Okay first of all, not my girlfriend. Second of all, it’s best for me not to have Julia on any team. She is the best player you had. It’s going to be so easy to crush you now. Add her to our team and we’ll be unbeatable.” 

“You can’t add her to the Physical team. She’s a Knowledge student.” 

“Yet she lives in the Physical cottage and you don’t want her. Such a shame to have that talent go to waste. Thanks for the easy win Little-Orphan-Annie.” Margo smirked walking away from him glad to have that cleared up. 

When Margo returned to the cottage she went to her room first and was surprised to see Julia in her bed. 

“Heard from the near-sighted-carrot-fucker you’re a free Welters agent now.” Margo started.

“Not really a free agent my one team option kicked me out.” 

“How did Fogg explain the Knowledge nerds again?” Margo sat down on the bed her hand going to Julia’s hair out of habit. 

“It’s half psychic and half physical.” 

“Well, that sounds like you’re a physical kid to me. I mean you took Q’s room.” 

“I did.” Julia smiled up at Margo. “You just want me on your team, admit it.”

“I mean you’re not as good as I am, but you’re pretty good. Better than all the fucking naturalists together.”  

“Eli tell you why he kicked me out?” 

“No. Why?”

“He thinks it somehow gives you an advantage since he thinks we’re dating.” 

“Fuck it, his loss. It is my advantage to have you not on his team.” 



2. When she asked Julia to just move in


Margo was used to waking up after Julia, the nerdy brunette was always up early to get some studying in before classes. 

She needed to find a certain sweater to make her outfit complete but it was nowhere to be found. She searched the room trying to find it before giving up and going with a completely different outfit annoyed but still stylish. 

When she left she had already missed half of her first class (whatever) and figured she could try and catch Julia with the promise of coffee and smokes to delay her from the lure of books. 

It was a habit her and Eliot had taken up, using the Knowledge student to do their homework. Julia didn’t mind if anything she loved it so the fact that she was repaid in drinks, smokes and sex was a plus. 

Eliot was lying on top of the stone fence which Margo was leaning against waiting for Julia to leave the building. 

“Think Julia would agree to do a mirror spell while we do exams?” 

“I don’t know, the risk but be too much. Might just have to sleep with PA again.” 

“Fine, I’ll do the sleeping around so you say true and faithful to your girlfriend.” Eliot teased. 

“Will you cut that shit out she is not my girlfriend, we are not exclusive, I can bang anyone I want as can she.” Margo snapped. 

“If she isn’t your girlfriend why is she wearing only your clothes?” Eliot asked nudging her and gesturing to where Julia was approaching. 

Julia was indeed wearing Margo’s clothes including the sweater that had disappeared that morning. 

“The fuck?” It wasn’t that Julia didn’t look in Margo’s clothes (it was hard not to look good in such stylish clothes) but it was the first time she had a casual partner (bang buddy? Friend with bens?) wear her clothes, there was one time when Eliot completely ruined a dress insisting that he could fit and pull it off but that didn’t count. “You’re wearing my clothes,” Margo stated as Julia stole Eliot’s smoke. 

“Yeah, I woke up late so I didn’t have time to go to Q’s for my clothes so I just grabbed some of yours. Why is it a problem?” 

“You might as well just keep some of your clothes in my room.”

“You want me to keep my clothes in your room? Are you asking me to move in? Going soft are you?” 

“No. Just want you to keep away from my clothes.” 



3. When she said I love you



Emotion bottles were interesting. They made the battle magic so easy but you should never be allowed to drink your emotions back when in the company of your consistent bed partner that you were not dating. 

Margo being emotionless and purely rational did not see how this could go wrong. 

So when it came time to do their bottled emotions shots, she was sitting on her bed with Julia. 

Julia did her shot first and just started crying. Margo quickly downed hers and just laid back on the bed staring at Julia. 

“I killed my goldfish when I was four. I wanted to cuddle him when I went to bed and he died.” Julia sobbed a pulling a pillow closer to her. 

“I love you.” Margo couldn’t stop herself. “I love you so much.” Margo reached over to try and comfort her. She pulled her in closer.

“Why can’t I be good enough?” Julia asked letting herself cuddle into Margo. “I went to Columbia. I have a 4.0 GPA. I did everything she wanted but I still wasn’t good enough.” She whimpered burying her face into Margo before completely breaking down. 

“You’re amazing.” 

“Yeah?” Julia wiped at her tears before leaning up to capture Margo’s lips before her hands started exploring.

As usual, one thing led to another and an hour or so later once the intensity of the emotion bottles finally wore off the couple (which were just friends having sex and nothing more) were just lying next to each other trying to catch their breath. 



“When I said I love you, that was just the bottle talking okay, I mean hey I’m having fun but-”

“Yeah, I get it, just casual. I know. Me too. I’m having fun with you too.” 

“Sorry, you were a dumbass when you were little and murdered your fish.” 

“Yeah I also rolled over in my sleep in a crushed him so even if he could breathe air it wouldn’t have worked out. I just wanted to cuddle with my pet in bed like my friends did with their cats and dogs.” 



4. I don’t want to be your girlfriend I just want us to not fuck other people.



It was the party welcoming the new Physical Kids into the cottage (so long as they figured out how to get in). Fogg had told Julia that her ban of living in the attic of the library was up if she promised not to destroy parts of the building again. Julia did promise and while yes officially on all documents she was living back with the Knowledge kids, but she only kept a small handful of clothes in her room there and only slept there when she had a test in the morning. 

It had been over a year since the first time the non-couple slept together. They still just claimed to be having fun and nothing else no matter what their respective besties suggested or in the case of one Quentin Coldwater, badgered. When the year anniversary had passed neither one had mentioned it to the other but they did know. A

Margo was sitting on the couch with Eliot lying down across her lap they were passing a pipe back and forth while watching the non-fabulous students embarrass themselves. 

Of course Margo couldn’t help but glance over to where Julia was standing with Alice, Quentin and Kady drinking. Eliot caught Margo watching as Julia poked out the front door, cigarette already lit between her lips. 

“She does know she’s allowed to smoke in here right?” 

“No smoking in the musty attic, a stray ember could land on some old ass book and burn them all down. That’s why she’s here all the damn time, she doesn’t have to  climb to the roof for her usual eighteen hours of chain smoking.”

“That’s why she’s here all the time?”

“Well and Quentin.” 

“Right, not at all to do with the fact that you are madly in love.” Eliot snarked. Margo answered by literally shoving him off her and onto the floor. “Well that was just rude.”

“I don’t love her. We are not madly in love we are just two hot women who are great at sex and therefore have great sex together. That’s all we are.” 

“So you can sleep with other people?” Eliot sat down on the couch now, no longer using her Bambi pillow. 

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?”

“So Julia can fuck other people?” 

“She’s her own person El. She can do whatever the fuck she wants.” 

“So when was the last time you fucked someone that wasn’t Julia?” 

“I don’t know, I’m not some loser who needs to keep track like Quentin.” 

“You haven’t mentioned anyone since before Julia moved in.” 

“Whatever so I got someone who knows how to do the best stuff and stuck with that, it doesn’t mean anything.” 

“So you’d be fine if say, Julia and Todd hooked up?”

“Todd? He isn’t worthy to lick her shoe.” 

“Fine, not Todd, let’s say Kady. Kady and Julia go up to Kady’s room to bang.” Eliot saw a smirk cross Margo’s lips. “You can’t join or watch.”

“Fine. But Julia is her own woman, she can decide who to bang.” 

“And how would you feel?” 

“Eliot, you know I never thought you would hurt me.” Margo stood up leaving the weed pipe with him. “But accusing me of having feelings? Fuck you.” 

“You’re reaction is just showing I have a point!” Eliot muttered finishing off his drink then he caught Quentin’s eye and winked. 

Julia was back inside for a total thirty seconds before Quentin was giving her a new drink. 

“Have you talked to Margo?” 

“Not since I came in, why?” Julia finished half her drink in one gulp.

“Nothing, just saw her storm off upstairs that’s all.” Quentin gave her a concerning look. “Maybe you should see if something is upsetting her.”

“There’s no point in asking Margo what’s wrong or even if she’s upset, she likes to think she’s an unfeeling marble work of art. Which I mean she is so much more amazing than those statue.” Julia looked a bit puzzled at herself for how much she talked. “Am I drunk already?” 

“Maybe. I think you should go up and talk to Margo anyways I mean that’s what girlfriends do right?” 

“Not girlfriends. Just two friends who fuck.”

“So you have no feelings for her?”

“I love her. I’d love to be her girlfriend but if I say it I lose her so I’ll be whatever she wants.” Julia finished off her drink grabbing the bottle of whiskey off the nearest table and pouring a large glassful. 

Upstairs Eliot knocked on Margo’s door with a peace offering in the form of a drink. 

“I am sorry I suggested you have feelings.” 

Margo took the drink from him. “It’s okay, I mean if I didn’t know better I’d think I was in a relationship too.” Margo drank some of her drink before settling back down on her bed. “I want to be in a relationship with her but I’m scared that all she wants from me is sex.” Margo looked down at her drink. “Why the fuck did I say that?”

“Quentin and I made a plan to slip you and Julia true serum.”

“Why the fuck would you do that?”

“Because Q knows Julia loves you and you love her so stop being a baby and talk about feelings.” He admitted.  

“Jules can you stop-Ow! Why did you bite me?” Quentin’s voice carried into the room followed by stumbling and stomping. “Jules, it’s only a few more steps you can’t sleep in the hall.” 

“I can see.” Julia slurred practically shouting. 

“What the fuck?” Margo pushed passed Eliot and looked out into the hall to see Julia leaning against the wall while Quentin was trying to keep her upright. “She’s loaded.” 

“Yeah. She kind of kept a bottle to herself and I didn’t keep track of how much she was putting away.” Quentin answered honestly. 

“So that’s your big plan? To Julia to the point where she might die from alcohol poisoning and slip me truth serum? You’re both idiots. No matter I say to her now she won’t remember it.” 

“I’m not that drunk.” Julia had her eyes closed at this point and had her head laid on Quentin’s shoulder. 

“So what was your plan now Q?” Margo asked wanting to take the brunette from him. 

“I was going to put her to bed in my room and stay up to make sure she didn’t choke on her own vomit. All other plans cancelled.” 

“I’ll do it.” Margo moved to take Julia and smiled when Julia practically threw herself into her arms. 

“You sure that seems like some girlfriend shit?” Eliot used Margo’s words against her with a smirk. 

“Girlfriend shit? I wanna do that.” Julia mumbled.

“I want that too.” Margo couldn’t stop herself from saying. 

When Julia woke up the next morning in Margo’s bed she found the older brunette staring at her. 

“Can we agree to only have sex with each other?” Margo asked. 

“You wanted to do girlfriend shit, you said that last night.” 

“No I didn’t. You dreamt that with you tried to drink your body weight in whiskey.” Margo scoffed. 

“Okay, no sleeping with other people.” Julia smiled. 

“Threeways don’t count.” 



5. Hey I don’t give a fuck if you’re a God do not talk to my girlfriend that way!



When Quentin came running into the cottage screaming about how Fillory was real and he went there for twenty minutes only one person took him seriously.

While Margo wanted to mock him she had to admit it was cute watching Quentin and Julia nerd out over Fillory. 

When Julia and Quentin started fighting over which landmark to go to first it was agreed to split up and meet up at the tree clock (they didn’t need to specify which one). 

“So we are going to Ember’s place first?” Margo asked.

“Yeah it shouldn’t be too far according to the map.”

“The map that you and Q drew when you were nine. We should have a backup plan just in case two nine years reading a book didn’t make the most accurate map.” 

“Okay, well according to the map we need to go west so we keep going west.” 

After three hours of walking west they came upon what according to the description in the books, had to be Ember’s Tomb. 

“This is amazing.” Julia was beaming, if there was a level of pure adoration above kid in a candy that was Julia. “Look its hand shaped! I bet this is how Martin called Ember. See the stains? I think it’s dry blood.”

“Cool.” Margo was not pushing her face against the old blood which was why she wasn’t enough to stop Julia from doing what she did. “Julia stop!” 

Julia was using a sharp rock to cut her hand. “We need to use blood if we’re going to call him.” 

“You shouldn’t rub your open wound on blood.” 

“It’s fine what are the odds that Martin had some blood borne pathogens?” Julia placed her hand in the outline. 

“Back in the 40s who knows.”

“It’s fine.” Julia shoving her hand into the print. 

“How can you be so smart and so fucking stupid at the same time? When we go back to Breakbills you are going straight to the infirmary and you are getting every kind of test. Because I won’t risk you giving me AIDS or Hep.” 

“Oh visitors! Have you brought me tiny cakes Children of Earth?” 

“Holy shit its Ember!” Julia seemed so excited. “We should have brought tiny cakes.”

“You didn’t bring tiny cakes?” Ember looked annoyed. 

“Why would we bring tiny cakes? We only just found out this place is real.” Margo was more annoyed than anything else. This fucking Goat Thing was eyeing them like they were mere toys and she never did well when she was looked at like that. 

“You only just found out this was real? No hints or deep down feelings that it was real?” 

“I did. I always believed in Fillory.” 

“Did you? There wasn’t a time when you didn’t believe in Fillory? Didn’t love it? Because I can tell Child of Earth. You are unworthy to be in my presence. Unless you bring me tiny cakes.” 

Margo was ready to flip off the God and drag Julia back to the clock tree but then she saw the complete heartbreak in Julia’s eyes, how she tightened her jaw like she always did when trying not to cry.

She needed to do more than just flip off this guy now. No one was allowed to upset Julia.

“Listen here you goat leg dickhole. I don’t give a fuck if you’re a God here, you don’t talk to her like that! She is smarter and far more worthy to be in Fillory than you! Sure she didn’t think a fucking children’s book was based on a real world! Who the fuck would! So you are going to apologise to my girlfriend for telling her she is not fucking worthy to be in this fucking magical place and she is way better then any of the fucking Chatwins! Or I am going to rip off your goat dick and shove it down your throat?” Margo was grabbing onto each of his horns screaming in his face. She looked like she might break them off at any second. 

“Fine, fine just get off me.” Ember sighed. “Child of Earth, you are not unworthy.” Margo had let go of him figuring he was going to continue talking but the second she wasn’t touching him he disappeared. 

“Fucking Goat.” Margo cursed. 

“Apologise to my girlfriend ?” Julia raised an eyebrow at her. 

“Don’t even start, let’s go get you your blood tests.” 

“You called me your girlfriend.” 

“You got upset at a goat-man insulting you.”

“And you called me your girlfriend.”