Work Header

Your Friends Aren't Coming

Work Text:

Cassandra: Your friends aren't coming to save you.
Varian: Well, obviously.
Cassandra: Huh?
Varian: Rapunzel usually doesn't visit me as often as I visit her. When she doesn't hear from me for a while, she assumes I'm working on something important and gives me a few days before coming over to force me to take care of myself. When she finds out I'm not there, her first conclusion likely won't being you kidnapping me.
Cassandra: Well, won't your dad tell her you're missing?
Varian: He's stubborn and doesn't always accept help. Even if he goes to the kingdom to ask, again, neither of them will figure out what really happened.
Cassandra: Well, I went to Rapunzel looking for the scroll, so she knows I was there and trying to get something you had.
Varian: In that case, she would probably believe you stole the scroll, killed me, and left me in a gutter somewhere.
Cassandra: Dark, but okay. Also, what if your raccoon saw me take you?
Varian: It would take a while for them to decode what he's saying. Even if they figure it out, they have no idea where I am.
Varian: Heck, I have no idea where I am, either.
Cassandra, visibly frustrated: Well, I'll write a note telling them, then! *Writes note*
Varian: How do I know that's what you wrote?
Cassandra: Here, look!
Varian: *reads note* Rapunzel's tower? How do I know that's really where we are?
Cassandra: IT IS, OKAY? Watch, I'll send the letter now.
Varian: How do I know you're actually sending it to Corona?
Cassandra: *Looks at Owl* Take this to Rapunzel.
Owl: *Flies away*
Varian: That could be a secret code to tell him to throw it off a cliff.
Cassandra, throwing her hands in the air angrily: Look, the point is they aren't coming to save you, alright?
Varian: I know! That's what I was saying!