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Bottling it Up

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It had been almost a year after Shuichi, Himiko, and Maki had escaped from Danganronpa. Soon after they had awoken and were told it was all a simulation and they were apart of a TV show. They also learned that all the friends that they thought had died were actually alive and everyone reunited. Skip ahead a few months and Kokichi and Shuichi were living together happily as a couple or so Shuichi thought.

It was the middle of winter and Shuichi had just gotten home from where he worked at the police force with Kirigiri. He had gotten home late and opened the door to his dark house. He shivered stepping inside the heat was off for some reason so the house was colder than outside. Confused he stepped over to the thermostat and saw that it has gotten bumped, after fixing it he started heading towards his and Kokichi's shared room.

"Kokichi I'm home, why didn't you turn on the thermostat it's freezing in here", Shuichi called out However there was no reply from his boyfriend just the noise of the heaters kicking in. Carefully pushing open the door Shuichi was greeted with the sight of Kokichi fast asleep on the bed shivering. Kokichi's only warmth was a thin sheet placed on top of him.

Shuichi rushed over to the curled up Kokichi and shook him awake roughly. Bleary-eyed Kokichi sat up groaning, "Shumai what are you waking me up so roughly for you big meany" Shuichi scoffed resisting the urge to comment on how cute his boyfriend look, instead pulled him into a hug. "Kokichi what the hell are you doing its freezing in here why don't you have more blankets on, there are weighted blankets right next to you use those!" Kokichi seemed fully awake all of a sudden and Shuichi noticed that his already pale skin went even paler.

He turned away from Shuichi and mumbled something under his break. "Hey, Kokichi please talk to me what's wrong. Kokichi turned around a grin stretching on his face, "Wow Mr.Detective really cares for me? Aw, how sweet to bad I was only faking it", he laughed, "I actually have a very high tolerance for cold so me shaking was just A LIE neheehee" Shuichi raised an eyebrow in disbelief, "Kokichi... that was a lie wasn't it" "Not at all my beloved detective but now I have to go! I totally forgot I have a top-secret meeting with D.I.C.E" With that he stood up and bolted out the door leaving a confused and worried Shuichi behind.

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Kokichi rushed out the door gasping as the cold air hit is already freezing face. He ran and ran until the house was out of sight then slowed down to a walk. Breathing heavy he bent down hands on knees and sniffled tears pricking the corners of his eyes. Kokichi stayed there in that position for awhile taking big breaths and trying not to cry. Lifting up his head Kokichi could see the tall building in the near distance. He just had to make it a little farther and he would be ok.

D.I.C.E a secret organization with over 10,000 members, run by an Evil Supreme Leader. Or a group of kids who are family to each other and play pranks planned out by there also kid leader Kokichi Ouma. Currently, the members were laying about on the furniture in the headquarters when suddenly the door to the building slammed open and hit the wall. The co-leader Eiko bolted up at the noise and swung towards the door to face the intruder.

Instead of an intruder however a shivering Kokichi with tear-streaked face stood in the cold.

The members rushed over fussing over Ouma shouting and asking him what was wrong. Eiko shushed them and ushered Kokichi inside ordering everyone to give him some space. "Boss what's wrong why are you crying?" Kokichi didn't answer "Did something happen with your boyfriend?" Kokichi nodded Everyone frowned they knew all about the leader's boyfriend.

They had first found out about Shuichi Saihara when news had been released that their leader who had gone missing was at a local Hospital. They were shocked when they heard the whole story from a weak a frail Ouma hooked up to wires. He told them all about Danganronpa and how he was brutally crushed to death by a hydraulic press. D.I.C.E stuck by his bed during his whole recovery. Then one day the game was beaten by three other teens, when Ouma had heard this he was ecstatic which was a relief to the other members as he had been in a very depressive state recently.

All the members had been crowded in Kokichi's hospital room when the door had swung open and a boy was revealed standing in the hallway wearing a hospital gown. He cautisly walked into the room never breaking eye contact with Kokichi. RIght when the boy was almost to the bed Kokichi lept out and tackled the boy. D.I.C.E looked at them with confusion although then they almost immediately looked away with embarrassment as Kokichi grabbed the boy's face and kissed it tears falling out of both their eyes.

After a heartwarming reunion everyone sat down to introduce themselves. "Everyone this is Shuichi Saihara The Ultimate Detective. The boy Shuichi raised his hand in an awkward wave. "Shumai this is D.I.C.E" Shuichi looked at everyone in surprise then turned to Kokichi "Wait D.I.C.E is real?" At this, a few of the members turned to glare at Shuich who shrunk under their gaze. Kokichi stifled laughter as he layed his head on Shuichi's shoulder, "Of course they're real Shuichi they're my family!"

Eventually D.I.C.E grew to except Shuichi as one of their own and treated him like family. However, they knew that Kokichi was very fond of Shuichi and thought of him as perfect. They knew that Kokichi didn't share is worries and bad feelings with him because he was afraid that Shuichi would be disgusted by his imperfections. While D.I.C.E knew Shuichi well enough to know that he would never think that they didn't betray their leader's wishes for them not to tell Shuichi all the things Kokichi told them.

However when in present-day Kokichi showed up puffy-eyed with tear streaks down his face in the middle of the night after running in the cold without a coat they knew something need to be done. So after getting Kokichi to calm down and eventually he passed out Eiko picked up the phone and started to dial Shuichi.

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Even though it was very late at night Shuichi found himself nervously pacing around his room biting his thumb, a habit he thought he had grown out of. His boyfriend, Kokichi Ouma, was upset over something and refused to tell Shuichi, and what made matters worse was he had run out of the house into the cold. Shuichi had no idea if Kokichi was safe or caught in the blizzard that was starting outside.

Just when Shuichi decided to call his friends at the Police department his phone rang. Dashing over to his nightstand where his phone was, he checked the caller I.D. The phone read out the name Eiko, he quickly picked up the phone and accepted the call.

"Hello? Shuichi?"

"Eiko yes it's me is Ouma with you?"

Eiko made a grunt that Shuichi took as a yes and breathed a sigh of relief,

"Shuichi forgive me"

At this Shuichi was confused he had known Eiko for a while now and had never heard him so shaken up, "Eiko whats wrong did something happen?" Shuichi waited anxiously waited for Eiko to continue speaking.

"For a long time now Kokichi has been hiding his real feelings, fears, and his experiences of PTSD from you because he thinks that you will be disgusted by him if you know" Shuichi was about to say something when Eiko continued. " Kokichi has stayed awake every night since you guys moved into together, he then waits until you go to work to sleep this is because he is afraid he will have one of his night terrors and wake you he freezes while he sleeps because he can do blankets they remind him of the crushing weight of the hydraulic press"

Shuichi's breath caught in his throat tear pricking at the corner of his eyes. He knew he should have seen these signs, Kokichi unlike everyone else refused therapy, showed no sign of PTSD and was happy 24/7. Shuichi should have known he should have recognized what his boyfriend was doing, he should have recognized that the person who he was living with was in great pain. However he wasn't there he didn't notice Kokichi chose not to trust him, and that was the most painful thing about it.

"Hello Shuichi? Are you still there?"

STartled Shuichi quickly turned back toward his phone embarrassed, "Y-yes Eiko I'm still here sorry"

"It's ok this is a lot of information to take in but I needed to tell you all of this, Shuichi I feel really bad about betraying my best friends trust but when it gets so bad that Kokichi shows up here freezing to death because he's scared I think it necessary"

"I agree thank you so much Eiko if you would do me a favor and give Kokichi a ride back over here if it's safe for you to do so I know there is a storm going on I would appreciate it."

"Of course Shuichi he's sleeping right now so we should be able to get him back to the house without resistance and a small snowstorm is not going to get in the way of Boss's happiness"

"Thank you so much Eiko, I'll see you soon"

And with that Eiko hung up the phone with a sigh, he turned to look at the sleeping Kokichi and found him tucked beside the other D.I.C.E members who were looking at Eiko sadly. "Alright guys very carefully we're moving that sleeping lump to the car, now he is a deep sleeper so it should be easy but let's be extra careful" The member nodded and helped each other lift Kokichi, as Eiko had said Kokichi slept from the hideout to the car to Shuichi's house.

Shuichi had been watching out the window when the black and white car rolled up, he could see a couple of the dice members getting out into the snow then Eiko lifted something out cradling it in his arms. Shuichi could recognize it as Kokichi and quickly greeted them took Kokichi and wished them safe drive home. Tucking the still sleeping Kokichi into their bed Shuichi sat down next to him. This time he stayed awake while Kokichi slept, this time Shuichi would be there for Koichi when he woke up.

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It was cold.

His arm was numb.

He could hear the whirring as the machine came to life.

He felt as the space above him touched his skin slowly crushing him.

it hurt

It Hurt

IT HURT

Kokichi woke up with a start, cold sweat soaking his body as his teary eyes searched his body to make sure he was intact. Once he checked all his limbs Kokichi focused on slowing his breathing, that's when he took the time to look around. He then noticed that he, in fact, was not in the D.I.C.E headquarters, Kokichi started breathing faster he knew exactly where he was he quickly scooted back to the very corner of the bed pressed against the wall as he looked at the man sitting next to him.

"H-hey Kichi it's ok it's just me your fine your safe," Shuchi was sitting at the other end of the bed a very sad and hurt look on his face This was too much for Kokichi, Shuichi wasn't supposed to see him like this he wasn't supposed to know how imperfect he was this was bad. Shuichi noticed the other visibly panicky and reached his hand out to calm Kokichi down. However, Kokichi was in the middle of a major panic attack and was seeing everything as a threat. He shrieked and slapped Shuichi's hand away, Shuichi recoiled startled which made Kokichi feel even worse. He started hyperventilating and tear at his limbs tears streaming down his face.

Shuichi decided enough was enough and lept forward pinning KOkichi in a hug not letting go n matter how many slaps and punches Kokichi threw at him. Little by little Shuichi felt as Kokichi's movements became a little less frantic, little by little until he was completely still and limp in Shuichi's arms except for his sniffling. Once Shuichi was sure that Kokichi was no longer in the mindset to harm himself he loosened his grip and pulled Kokichi to sit in front of him.

Kokichi kept his head down refusing to make eye contact even when SHuichis please for Kokichi to look at him turned desperate. "Shuichi you should just go please" Shuichi felt his heart shatter when he heard how broken Kokichi sounded, "Kichi please talk to me let me help you through this just like you helped me when I was in a dark place after the game ended" Kokichi scooted farther away from him hugging his knees to his chest, "Listen to me Shumai I'm not worth the effort like you were, you were the one who beat the game and saved every one I was the little shit that died and nobody missed it's not the same and you know it"

At this Shuichi started to get angry and grabbed Kokichi's shoulder forcing him to look at Shuichi.

"You're right Kokichi were not the same, you were the person who suffered alone the entire game making enemies so you could save them, sacrificing yourself in hopes of ending the killing game, absolutely trying your hardest while all I did is solve a mystery in a trial, YOU are the reason all of us are alive and I will be damned if you suffer alone as you did in the game because you think you aren't important enough", Shuichi took a breath, "I love you and everyone else has forgiven you, we are all grateful for what you've done and we are all concerned for you not expressing your feelings to us, we want to help let us help Kokichi please!"

Kokichis cries grew louder as he sunk into Shuichi's are pouring out all he felt. Shuichi welcomed him with open arms and stayed with him right by him for the rest of the night.

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Two years into the future

"Shuichiiiiii hurry up Kaito and Maki won't wait forever", Kokichi called jumping into the passenger side of their car "Calm down Kokichi we won't even be late and if we were it would be your fault for falling asleep" Kokichi stuck his tongue out in refute.

It had been two years since Kokichi's big mental break down and since then he had improved greatly. Kokichi would now talk to Shuichi about his problems and was regularly attending therapy sessions. Kokichi had also finally reconciled with his other classmates who were thrilled to see him contrary to what Kokichi thought. In fact, the couple had found themselves currently on the way to Maki and Kaito's for Valentine's day. They still had their ups and down but they were getting through it.

"Shuichi?", Kokichi called sitting in the car looking at Saihara concerned because he was just standing in the driveway "Sorry Kichi I was just thinking we'll leave now" Kokichi rolled his eyes with a smile on his face. The car ride there was silent but comfortable with Kokichi occasionally dozing of and Shuichi listening to a podcast on the radio. When they arrived Kaito and Maki were outside to greet them. Shuichi gave them both hugs while Kokichi gave them a semi-awkward wave. It was only Kokichi's second time seeing Maki but the first time seeing Kaito the man who helped orchestrate his death. Shuichi feared it would be too much but Kaito scooped Kokichi up in a hug that Kokichi gladly accepted.

While Kokichi and Kaito were getting reacquainted Maki and Shuichi were chatting. "He seems to be doing much better than the last time I saw him", Maki commented to Shuichi He nodded a smile on his face, "Much better I think we're at a good enough time for me to do it" Maki turned to look a Shuichi startled but with a smirk on her face, "You sure your ready to do Detective?" Shuichi grinned widely fiddling with the ring box in his pocket, "Yeah, I am"