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everyone is a hypocrite

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it may be mutual, as ugetsu had assures him countless times before - through actions, and sparingly, through words. but sometimes, akihiko just can't help the suffocation, the sudden tightness in his lungs - as though he's breathing in pure agony. as though he's choking on words that he failed to utter despite his numerous attempts to get them through - to cut open his chest, and bare his heart; to dissect his feelings and present them piece by piece to ugetsu, in hope that maybe, just maybe, he does feel the same, and they would be able to return to how their were during their years of high school: blissful, ecstasic, intoxicated; always high on happiness, and addicted to each other's scent.

 

as though he is still, after all those years, stuck in that placid, dismobilized stack of unrequited love and one-sided yearning.

 

loving ugetsu, in all and every way, feels like breathing underwater.

 

and no matter how many times he tried to resurface, he know for a fact that, at the end of the day, he'd eventually suffocate and perish for him.

 

(not that akihiko would mind, to be honest.
if the perpetrator were to be his love for ugetsu, the he'd be willing to get murdered for a zillion times.)